Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment: How to Treat It
VloĆŸit
- Äas pĆidĂĄn 21. 07. 2024
- đ„ Join the MedCircle Community
âȘïž bit.ly/4bukM2D
Have you ever felt stressed or overwhelmed? Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. There are things you can do at home to help, like listen to healing music, meditation, or other calming strategies. But what about therapy? Most types of therapy help you manage your thoughts in order to improve your mood. However, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is different: it tackles your emotions head-on. DBT takes concepts that are typically associated with wellness practices - such as mindfulness and stress management - and gives you evidence-based ways to leverage those concepts and manage your emotions in a healthy, productive way. This enlightening series also features an example dialectical behavior therapy session between Dr. Judy Ho and Kyle, which is analyzed in the final episode. This series is the ultimate tool for understanding DBT: the evidence-based, accelerated way to feel better and change your life.
ollow Us On Social Media:
FACEBOOK: / medcircleofficial
INSTAGRAM: / medcircleofficial
đą Unlock Access to 900+ videos, live workshops and more:
âȘïž www.medcircle.com
â About MedCircle:
Comprised of the worldâs most accredited doctors, MedCircle provides engaging video series and interactive workshops to educate you on the topics that matter most to you and your loved ones. We offer members real-time strategies for reducing anxiety and navigating lifeâs most challenging situations.
#DBT #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #psychology #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #borderline #bpd
Watch this entire series on dialectical behavior therapy HERE: bit.ly/3gGjwgU
There is no such thing as depression, we are all just fucked up by our families or friends or jobs treating us like shit.
@@Stufftough sounds psychoanalytic approach to me :) we all feel sad because of shit we have had happen that people don't take the time to hear us out about.
Depression is the resulting feeling/thought/behavior patterns resulting from those bad experiences. It definitely does exist.
excellent answer. On many levels. Though... Overwhelming(going back to the video. And it's overwhelming because i think we seriouly lost the idea of... life and living. Taken away from the idea of being productive and a peace of a big machine and not a human).
@@Stufftough u wrote exactly what i feel and how everbody treat me
i wish mental health care would be free...
To be honest meditation and general mindfulness have done more for me than therapy... And they're free :)
@@NeedSpeed39 yea I hope Ashiki will read this. Also anyone who are a beginner in meditation and want to start even without a mentor, I suggest you to focus on your breath. Aware about how you breath in and breath out. Aware of how it affect your body. Stay calm, stay relax and just observe your thoughts and emotions every time it shows up. Accept the way they come and go.
About the meditation position, you can do some research using browser.
If you do this patiently, and consistent (start with 5 minutes a day. If you think you become more comfortable about it, you can upgrade the time). If you are able to observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them. Accept them as part of you, but they are not you.
Thoughts and feelings are like tools for us. And our system is something like how browser or youtube works nowadays. What kind of contents you used to watch, they will recommend you something similar.
So, what kind of emotion you used to express will be the first item the system recommend to us. If we practice mindfulness and meditation with the right method, one day, we can see everything clearly. We will be able to press the cancel button or see another available tools.
I have BPD too. It was hard for me and I failed so many times before I can finally manage to hold my self before giving a reaction. An inner battle was happened inside me. For BPD, it's actually hard to hold their emotions. But somehow I manage to even tho it is hard as fck haha.
Ngl, I still have mood swings and all the other symptoms. But the fact I can actually improve, proves that practice and how hard we work on it does give us a result.
I tried to face this by self help. How ever, I've shared this things to my parents in case I can't manage anymore. So they know what to do next.
I've learn from my past experience where being silent can't always be the correct answer
Also, meditation is actually dangerous if we can't differentiate which is right and which is wrong. It is not recommended to do it without a mentor (for people who are delusional or still attached by the point of view where their feelings and their thoughts are themselves).
I live in the UK, and I wish I could pay private. Iâm on the Autistic Spectrum with the potential of getting a BPD diagnosis, and out of the 6 therapists Iâve seen, not one has mentioned these two diagnosis.
@@nowordsareneeded5258 you scared me and calmed me now i am lost, i dont tell my parents i have such a disorder or idk like do i meditate , i will start by myself without any help from a professional, i am so scared now
This is a disease. YOU are not to blame. I hope you find help and someone who will treat you and make you feel worth helping. You are not a bad person. You are worthy of love, help, and healing.
Ty for this. U donât know me, but your words reached me and I appreciate that.
Just started crying when I seen this
@@donniellama4463 đș đ
I know your intentions are good but it's not a disease. Its not something that you just "caught". It's a wound for sure, something went wrong in childhood and it wasn't that person's fault. But it is your responsibility to deal with it and move your life forward. Calling it a disease will cause people to view themselves as victims, and this is not good for anyone. Personal responsibility is the way out, taking charge and not falling into self pity.
@@eoinMB3949 well ur right.. itâs not a disease. Itâs an unfortunate collection of personality traits that cluster together to for this, either genetically, environmentally, or both.
The whole âvictim mentalityâ thing though, thatâs where I respectfully disagree.
First, Mr. Miller never suggested or even implied that one shouldnât work on themselves or to shy away from personal accountability.
Next, assuming a victim will take on a victim mentality can be demeaning and/or harmful. A victim of maladaptive genetics, mental/physical childhood abuse/neglect, or a burglary, an assault, rape, or worse⊠is a victim. There are perpetrators and victims⊠That doesnât mean they move on to a âvictim mentalityâ. Sometimes the realization that some of your past reactions may NOT 100% your fault; that with the right tools and knowledge you could have made better choices⊠and that you are NOT a bad person and are destined to feel suicidal and hopeless and alone⊠can give ppl the courage to stand up and actually take control of their life and situation.
It's raising people who weren't raised basically. If you were neglected then you never had someone sit with you and walk you through your feelings and how to manage them so you can navigate the real world.
Wow. Yes. This also might be why I still, at 35, don't feel like an adult. I feel stuck.
@@ririimari at both of your comments I am just starting to understand that after being diagnosed with ADHD that I also have BPD. Mine definitely came from being neglected as a young child and all throughout high school by my parents. I no longer speak to 90% of my âfamilyâ because they still wonât see me and put in the effort to try to love me truly. I am happier now than ever because my chosen family is all I need.
I think mine comes from my narcissistic mother. She was not fit to raise children but here we are. I feel horrible for those that have to pay the consequences for the parents mistakes.
Raising my 3yo daughter, and this is what it's all about now. Letting them feel and go through all the emotions and helping them acknowledge them.
This isnt true necessarily. I was raised by an incredible woman
Every Minute is a battle, Each action is Catastrophic.
BPD
It is. But imagining that could end is even worse than suffering (i know this sounds stupid - but that's how it is)
I had to be my own DBT counselor, because my medical insurance didn't cover it. Dr Marsha's Linehan Workbooks are a must! Thank you for bringing attention to this effective type of therapy.
Namaste Silence Iâm in sort of the same boat as you, my insurance would happily cover DBT if only I could find a way to get into a âclassâ; Iâve been on a long waiting list for several years.
Where do you go to get these workbooks
@@sandyraymond2883 Amazon
Thank you for sharing. Itâs looking like Iâm gonna be in the same boat and gonna have to figure this out by myself
DBT has changed my life. Took a group DBT training for a whole year. Now itâs a daily struggle, some days better than others. I struggle still with isolation for relief, I know itâs just avoidance of pain and difficulty. I long for a relationship again, but geez still having issues just with friends or work people đ€·ââïžđ€Šââïž
I'm a veteran that's been under diagnosed by the VA. I got the cookie cutter PTSD/depression diagnosis. I knew it was something more so I kept digging and came across BPD and my jaw dropped. So many things started making sense.
I drove to my VA clinic and it just so happened that my therapist had a cancellation and we talked, she gave me assessment and agreed.
I have my first DPT session coming up on the 18th of February. I hope it works. I don't know how much more I can take.
Please please update us! Anything that can reduce the suffering of our first responders and veterans is essential.
Iâm glad Iâm not the only one. Iâm so glad you found a solution. Iâm a veteran also. Iâm going to go to the VA and get some help.
Please let us know anything. Need update.
Trauma is not a cognitive issues, it's held within the body. Have a look at trauma release exercises for c
Ptsd. Bio dynamic breath work and somatic therapy. Brain spotting therapy and emdr. ( just in case the dbt doesn't work) not saying it won't but for Dissoaation and Mania, the body needs to be addressed. All the best
I hope youâre doing okay sweetheart
Alchool addict here, and very down to earth man, dbt is a real thing. Anxiety push us to overthink everything, just training yourself to not focus of the billions things emmerging each milliseconds in your minds by focusing on sensation, earing, visual, movement etc and train your mind to refocus on whats here and now allows your mind to ease rest and to apprehend whats really matter here and now. Writting your mind is a great thing too, dont read yourself just pose your thoughts to let them escaping your mind. ( sorry for my english)
thanks a lot.
mignonthon thanks for your words
Hi, im a year sober and i feel that i had to be BPD....now that im in a clear mind i want to kill it in me.
Thanks a billion for your comment. I never had problems with alcohol, but i'm reading once again what i feel and honesty i'm getting anxious because i need this help and i'm not finding it at all.
Thank you for taking the time to share this. It was helpful to me.
I love how everyone is open and vulnerable on some level... Great channel
I have done DBT twice and it has been a game changer!
Dbt saves lives. I love dbt. Should be required education for everyone.
What does a mother of an adult 23 tr old BPD daughter do when she refuses to continue Dbt sessions claiming she doesn't want to attend, yet refuses to acknowledge her bpd is getting worse by the day?
@@WarriorWomanWaWo Love her. Find 3 things you like and appreciate about her each day. Share them with her. See the good in her. And take care of YOU. That is who you have control over... You. And your own thoughts and reactions. (This is what I do when going gets rough with my loved ones)
@@WarriorWomanWaWo Also, there is a wonderful useful dbt app for phones, called DBT 911. You can use and model the skills yourself, and support eachother in them.
@@WarriorWomanWaWo I dealt with a BPD mother for over 20 years of my life. I was literally torchered. If she refuses help then dump her out of your care. You can only help people when they want help. Don't force yourself to deal with these abusers.
I have BPD, am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my CZcams channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates.
How I wish my significant other will educate himself on this so we could work our relationship together. đ ugh I hate mental disorders
Please forgive the impertinence of my comment, but this lady is a total doll. She is so pretty. Happy woman's day
I have BPD and took part in a DBT for 2 years 2x a week. I have been in many regular therapies and did shit however DBT worked for me pretty well I can only recommend
Mindfulness = Re-branded Buddhism. It's not for everyone. I'm glad she acknowledges this. It's a start of a much-needed change.
what a brilliant conversation! i have learnt so much from watching this. i am a new subscriber!
Very useful, thank you all at Medcircle! Thank you dr Ho!
Not actually âdbtâ but walking and training dog was probably one of the most useful training tools Iâve ever had
Brilliant channel, thank you all!
I do believe I was born hyper sensitive. Iâve always had my 6th sense super strong and even heard Godâs voice and what I heard happened the next day. I dreamed about my mom dying the week before she did. And there are many moments in my life I felt I felt more than others
Same things occurred with me.
@@janejordan1894 really ?? Like what ?
@@123janninha it's a long story but I guess I'd just randomly hear a voice about something that was going to happen it could be on the same day or about a specific year and then it would just happen
@@janejordan1894 thatâs awesome ! Only when you experience it yourself you understand it. Always gotta listen to our 6th sense â€ïž
Complete nonsense,that baloney not psychology
Thanks medicare doing a great job out there.
I have accepted truth that my happiness and value does not depend on other's treatment or their affection. People's promises are not reliable, that Lord will not leave me no matter what
I realized a really important application for DBT the other day.... ADDICTION! Seriously.
Thank you, Marx, for synthesizing Hegelian Dialetics into Scientific Thought so that I may heal myself today. â€
my bff got me a book about mindfulness that is called 'How to be Mindful' by Anna Barnes, and when I started reading it I felt bored because to me it was about some normal common sense stuff that I actually do everyday. as a very anxious person, I tend to focus on every aspect and detail about everything that is around me while ruminating about every single thing that changes about my surroundings even if the change is trivial and completely normal which exacerbate my anxiety. I don't know why i am like this, may DBT doesn't work for me, or I need to educate myself about it even more.
Awesome stuff !!!
really loved this conversation!! great job.
Mindfullness is not somthing that was under a rock, it has always been a thing in religion and still is today, where praying is important!
I think he was referring to DBT as a whole, not just the mindfulness aspect of it.
Mindfulness, the art of paying attention, my grandmother use to say to me a lot , Be mindful of where you are and who you are with,, pay attention,, people today dont use the word. I am going back 50 years. lol
excellent explanation. thanks doc
Haha they have my similar thoughts on midfulness. I always think âoh yeah ok sure Iâll get right on thatâ when I hear stuff like mindfulness.
Great job Sir
Dbt is essentially convincing someone theyâre fine when theyâre not
Uninfected News , yes I agree here. My experience was I rejected it in the beginning, but continued with the classes, because I wanted to be better. Thing is nothing else worked. What this convinced me more of was that these are tools to adjust myself to situations differently so I could be more effective with work, people, myself etc. The tools a lot of us donât have to cope. Think about it, pretty much in some fashion EVERYONE has addictions. From drugs to shopping, to addiction to their phones and social media. You canât change what you donât know and acknowledge.
total crap danny boi, you've totally missed the point of DBT
I'm about to be sent to a DBT Hospital and got told it takes around 3 to 7 years (suffering Borderline). They said it goes step by step removing the self harm addiction - the strong suicidal wish - the (what they call wrong) impression of what i am. But the Doctor here say it's around 6 months to a year. Are there different ways of DBT ?
I am more convinced by psychologist than DBT itself
This time your interview was less specific and repetitive. Thanks anyway for presenting another approach. I believe though if you are presenting mindfulness that it should be treated with respect and used from the source which is a complete philosophy of correct behaviour and thought so common in the Eastern traditions
my Life is completely destroyed isn't it?
Whatâs the best DBT book I could buy from Amazon? Any recommendations please... thanks đ
Thnx for uploading that stream from earlier, wanna learn more about it, where can I find more about it?I will definitely look into it, my attitude to both of you, really feel like I need other and give it a shot
Hi, there! You can visit MedCircle.com and watch the rest of the series when you become a Premium Member. www.medcircle.com/series/dialectical-behavior-therapy-feel-better-53681
I think one of the biggest factors with borderline issues in order to get any type of therapy or results is to get a handle on impulsive behaviors usually in relationships with all the wrong people.
For instance, a woman who is single , in her 40âs and is desperate to find a man that will put up with her.
She dates multiple men at once , even having sex with them not realizing these types of men and this type of desperation to find Mr. Perfect is harmful to any possibility of getting a handle on your disorders.
This is especially hard for the family members that are trying to help that person.
We can see the dangers but they canât .
They try to justify their actions by whining about being desperate and not being able to find a partner.
But going after the same type of assholes one after another expecting the next one to be the right one.
Itâs frustrating watching this cycle continue, spending countless hours on the phone trying to console and encourage them and realizing nobody qualified to help them will because they canât afford the therapy.
that said, can we talk about how the clothes of the interviewer match the picture?
I tried, but I can't ignore the host's comment about meditation here. Meditation feels unnatural when you first start doing it. There is no getting around that, but what annoys me the most (a sign I need to work more on my own mindfulness) is that if you find yourself getting distracted or bombarded with thoughts during meditation that is a sign that the meditation is in fact working. You are actually succeeding in the meditation process, not failing at it. This is one of the misconceptions that really gets to me. Along with Buddhism being "about suffering" (a mis-translation and enormous oversimplification). Seriously, read the whole book!
So its about being in the present moment
Yes, living at the present moment instead of past or future.
@Nena Bella accept
Inspiring đ§ââïž
The biggest thing Iâve learned is not using this as an excuse for your sh!t behavior being here is a good first step tho so at least your trying! But once you know you have BPD itâs now up to you to seek help and treatment for it and take responsibility for your own actions you know yourself by now and youâre outbursts so you have the choice to leave the situation and rethink it as long as you need to to come back to reality itâs also a choice to stay and make the same mistake again and feel bad about it after but not bad enough to do anything to stop it most abusive partners have bpd and that excuse will never fly coming from someone who has it
You down with DBT yeah you know me... LOL
I'm not one to make phenotypical observation so bluntly but Judy, you're absolutely gorgeous! đŻđč
Can they make the treatment free. Iâm in pain. I need help. Iâm so upset this info is behind a paywall.
How does this differ from mindfulness-based CBT?
me, estranged and culture shocked, dissociating with this vid playing in the background to avoid dealing with the idea that there are strangers around. I'm 29 next weekđ
Dr. Ho is smart, clear and beautiful. đ
Can DBT also help with falling in love with a doctor on the internet?
U actually put words to actions
I'm hoping someone I truly love will realize that radical acceptance IS obtainable, and will try mindfulness (DBT) as a helpful tool to one day accept things she can't change, so she can get away from the HORRIBLE, relationship destroying, life depleting, symptoms of BPD that her mother, for whatever reason, caused.
Whether it's alcoholism, or an abusive childhood, or whatever. We can't help that our parents are untreated, or sick, and must stop waiting for them to finally be a parent, or change, or make it all go away, when they are perhaps too ignorant, uncivilized, untreated, or unwilling, to accept they have a disease and are responsible for their child's brain developing a behavioral disorder. It's time my mate, best friend, and incredibly talented partner tries this, and gets the help she deserves, or I have no choice but to save myself from the extreme stress, hypertension, physical danger, and emotional abuse that I've endured. She's an incredible human being but her constant fear of abandonment demands I spend my last dollar, and every second on her. Because she's literally afraid I'm giving my attention to something, or someone else. I feel so sorry for her but it's slowly killing me, and then add her insults to cope with her feeling bad about herself, it is an absolute hell sometimes.
Surely she will try it. Wish me luck. I'm waiting for her to be in a good mood and using compliments and a few firm boundaries as an ultimatum. The worst could happen is she breaks up, and I get my health, money, peace, and life back in order. If she does try this, I know we will have an incredible relationship. Ive learned a lot about myself and I'm done feeling I deserve anymore abuse because of my guilt and shame for cheating on my x and mother of my children during a mid life crisis. I humiliated her and myself when I was in my 40s and dated ladies less than half my age because I couldn't control myself. I'm over feeling I should be punished by a borderline. Untreated borderlines are THE most hurtful, dangerous people. Even narcissists will get beat down by a borderline. So if you know anyone with symptoms, get them help. đ
Is Kyle supposed to be making every session all about him? Are all the videos he is in a mock therapy session? Doing so seems to take us off topic -- and then Dr.Judy, et al., have to reframe what they were trying to explain again. He interrupts, talks about himself & goes on a tangent, and then the Dr. has to say something to the effect of, "Actually, it is more like..." And then the viewer has to mentally try to erase his tangent while listening to the correction.
All his interviews are like this unfortunately. I just tune him out completely and focus intently on the person he is interviewing.
EXACTLY!! This has irritated me since the first video I watched of him with Dr. Ramani talking about the 9 BPD traits...I get that they really want a host that pushes the relatable or charismatic angle, but maybe it'd be better to get a legitimately empathetic host who knows how to listen and connect to viewers without inserting himself unnecessarily constantly.
@@JHobbs-yb9cs SAME
So I love the idea of DBT especially after learning that I likely have BPD. However it doesn't appear to address my most debilitating symptom, which isn't even identified within those of BPD, that I know of. I also have ADHD. I've talked to many types of therapists and nothing has worked yet to address my extreme avolition that I struggled with since I was a child, though it has helped with other things so it makes my avolition a smidge less heavy. Any thoughts? It isn't overwhelm, its an inability to start tasks unless I get thrown into something, Again, since I was very young and I am in my late 30s now.
I'm having trouble understanding, you're spelling a word wrong, do you mean avoiding or aversion?
Same here if avolition was meant to say avoidance
@@davidn569 Avolitionâ is a term used to describe the lack of motivation or ability to do tasks or activities that have an end goal, such as paying bills or attending a school function. Avolition occurs most commonly in schizophrenia, depression, and bipolar disorder.
I posted that last year. I've since learned I actually have CPTSD with traits of BPD, and the avolition part is really my fawn response (from freeze/flight/fawn)
@@AdrienneZazulak thank you for informing me, I did not know about this and will do more research. Bless
The treatment in this episode was never explained.
years was trying for EUPD - ZERO effect... people don't want to change...
Is this a joke? They said nothing new or helpful. I have no idea what DBT is
So is the toxic or abusive relationships; friendships or romantic, some bosses just in the perception of someone with B.p.d? Otherwise they likely attract those ype of abusers? Specially if the person b.p.d emotional flawed person has a past of being abuse?
What about having a stroke while being borderline
The only thing is that I have been to therapists and I am a master of talking nonsense. I will literally shave off the surface levels of my bullshit and give away as little as possible. I may touch on subjects that hurt a bit more than others but I'm someone who buries the issues and how deep seated they really are. I need a therapist who will actively challenge me, not just ask me what I think the issues are. Because if I am left to choose the topic of course I'm goi g to bring up something I already am trying to address and have done my own research on to mitigate, which more often than not are specific behaviours and emotions. There's a story attached to the behaviours and why I want to fix them, which is an easy way to make the issue seem more distressing than it really is.
How do you help someone who actively refuses to dig that deep into their issues because if they pulled those thorns out they have no idea how to stop the flood and are convinced they cannot live with themself.
Nice
This doctor is so much better than Dr. Ramani. I feel like she has much more empathy for our condition.
What about non evidence based therapy? I have been seeing a modern psychoanalytic therapist. It is all about free association, less goal oriented, uses terms like transference and countertransference, expressing emotions, and doesn't seem to have a start and end. I am aware of other kinds of therapy because I work with therapists and patients in therapy as a dietitan, who uses some of these techniques in my work doing nutrition counseling--which is traditionally taught using "motivational interviewing" but clearly has lots of crossover with DBT and psychoanalysis if you really want to be a good nutrition therapist (licensed dietitan with extensive counseling experience).
jrg305 technically speaking, free association isnât the therapy itself. Psychoanalytic therapies, which seek to uncover hidden emotions and thought processes use techniques, such as free association and therapist interpretation as methods of uncovering these thoughts. Psychodynamic (psychoanalytic) therapies definitely are goal-oriented, but itâs more of uncovering events, thought processes, or other specifics that allow the therapist to really understand what contributes to your symptoms (anxiety, depression, mood swings, sensitivity, etc.). It definitely has a clear end goal, but this goal just isnât as clear as such as eliminating fear of a certain thing or eliminating anxiety. Psychoanalysis has the goal of understanding. Free association is a common technique that therapists use to uncover the unconscious mind! So, to answer your question, s/he is technically using an evidence-based therapy, because psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapies have been widely researched and are actually shown to be pretty effective
Try DBT during lockdown. Timeless. (solitary) confinement. present. moment. AAAHHH
What do you do if you simply feel distress and can't shake the feeling?
Could be so many things. I hope you are doing better by now. Here are a few random thoughts I had that may or may not fit...1. watch the documentary Under our skin
2. Join the carbon monoxide posioning facebook groups. Even low level poisoning over long periods of time can cause your feeling.
3. Take baking soda baths daily. Half the box or the whole box. It detoxes and reduces inflammation naturally. Even better if you can get a whole house water filtration system. Not a water softner. I drink 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water two to three times a week. Keeps me less acidic and less anxious. I notice a difference in how I feel within 15 minutes. It's amazing.
4. Turn off wifi. No not have a smart home. Go wired instead-its actually much faster than wifi and healthier. Do not sleep on the same side of your house as the smart meter!
5. See if you have the Mthfr Gene mutation. If you do, no more Folic acid, nothing enriched, no nitrous gas EVER. You can get the test by a cheek swab at www.ancestrydna.com
Feel free to add me on Facebook if you have any questions. Hope you feel better đ Kristina Inman
Be careful with exploring mindfulness and then meditation. It lead to me joining a meditation community that turned out to be a cult. Mindfulness is great. Meditation is helpful. Just beware of people who prey on others with these concepts.
Iâm a Mixed Race gay Canadian male in his 20s who was sexually abused by a White man who was 13 years old, regularly, when I was 6-8 years old. I think I suffer from Stockholm syndrome (I lust after men who look like the man that attacked me) and Borderline Personality Disorder as a result of racism, colourism, and sexual abuse I have endured my entire life. In the bedroom I am passive and submissive, naturally, I believe because this was my first introduction to anything sexual. I hate that this has happened to me, and wish it never did. I wouldnât wish the sexual abuse Iâve suffered on my worst enemy. I was living and working in London, United Kingdom on the Tier 5 Youth Mobility VISA 2017-2018 and was attacked at a club in SOHO by a Middle Eastern man because I wouldnât talk to him and wasnât attracted to him, I did nothing to this man and did my absolute best to make it clear to him respectfully that I wanted nothing to do with him. I testified against him in court the day before my birthday 2018 and he was found guilty. This has only added to my problems. Iâve been accused of being a narcissist but based on what Dr. Durvasula has said I am not - as I can be rehabilitated while narcissists can not. I want to live a good life in peace and wish the same for others. My heart hurts.
Youâre genetically gay or bi, abuse doesnât make ones sexuality. But the fact that you crave one like your abuser that has something to do with what that terrible person did, not that youâre gay.
Blessings on recovering from your trauma. It will take time but it is a journey worth taking. Best wishes for a future of peace!
I would love to see the research that shows someone is "genetically gay"? Have you been brainwashed?
what can i do if i try to get into the mindfulness state and focus on the outside but my brain instantly starts isolating myself from reality and i just fall into the same recurring thoughts?
i mean it feels like a thick wall that i can't break
Same, I feel like death the only way. Iâm so tired! I will never find love and never have kids because I feel like it will never happen for me because of this. Iâm 26 and I donât even know what the hell love is. So tiring
@@A1MAMI sorry to hear you feel that bad! I won't be spamming with all the bullshit u probably already know and been told, but since my last comment I really started moving towards loving/ respecting myself/ feelings. We all will die anyway, so don't rush. I can imagine how bad you feel now and future might look like shit from this point. But this state will pass and the future is unpredictable. Just let yourself feel bad for some time, you have all the reasons and rights to feel the way you feel. You are not obligated to be some specific kind of person, so just let yourself be. If it feels like there is nothing left to lose - try changing your life the way you want it to live. Start with loving yourself first place.
Every day is a struggle with BPD, but you are able to make it easier, because you are still here and that means u are a fighter. You are stronger than most of the people, don't forget that. Hope that was relevant at least a little bit. 27 y.o.
@@yung_grubiyan crying as Iâm reading this, thank you so much for this đđœđ god bless you and your journey and hope youâre very close to a happy ending đ„ș
@@A1MAMI thanks! Glad I could share some support! Knowing u r not alone helps a lot.
for the ones of you with bpd what is the hardest thing when starting dbt?
Letting go of old habits.
Admitting everything I've ever done to others and dig up all the shame and guilt and lay in the bed I made basically. Accountability.
This is unbearable to watch. The dude was leading such a cringey sales pitch I actually need to remember not to hate the [insert several letters] treatment system you were talking about.
Hi, Liusila! I hear you. Working to improve. Any other feedback/suggestions?
Kyle Kittleson legend
I know! I felt the same. He is so annoyingly banal.
You are so right. This is so disturbing. Not only this video but all videos he makes with this lady about all CBT aproaches. They all are covered comercials on this aproaches. What is more disturbing is that the lady says that this aproach is working on those disorders that are serious mental issues, some of them untreatable (e.g. NPD). This seems like taking advantage on people desperate to find help. Also, so disturbing are comments like "I love it" or "it's so fun" on the part of that lady, as psychotherapy is so fun for her. This looks like she even doesn't have a clue about it. Also if you watch her body language in all these videos when asked how effective are the approaches she brings here, you will really understand her true collors. This makes this videos even more difficult to watch as you understand how disonest she is in her answers. If this was an advertising to an unimportant item that you buy, this would be just a longer comercial. But this videos are addressed to people with serious problems that put their hope in what those people are saying.
Wow
@MedCircle: 2 weeks? Are you serious!?!
I've been in an out of therapy for the last 20 years for BPD, AVPD and chronic depression. Nothing has had any discernable affect. Antidepressants have caused persistent sexual dysfunction, which caused a relationship breakdown, and worsoned my depression.
Am I doing something worng, or are you selling false hope for some seroiiu problems?
Is management all there is? Surely the aim is to transcend this debilitating challenge. I wonder what can be achieved with Shadow integration with jungian psychology
2:15 I'm in a wheelchair and dislike grapes though
Gotta learn to walk and eat grapes to be happy in life I guess.
I watched this to cope and read your comment and this really made my day, thank you.
not everyone can afford dbt tho
true, but use the internet.
Im A mother of an adult daughter with borderline personality disorder. I AM STRUGGLING daily, constantly in a state of pure fear waiting for that next melt down phone call from her, nearly always triggered by a person she feels has been abusive to her. She expects close friends to treat her exactly as well as she deels she treats them. I am only aa good as the nice last thing i did for her. Her meltdowns are both emotional as physical including involving self-Harm and screaaming matches.
She saw aa Dbt therapist and stopped showing up after a month saying it was a waste of time. I am in over my head as her rage scares my 5 year old who is now petrified if his older sis during meltdowns.
How do I handle these rage episudes now that my daughter moved baack home after losing her job, all her friendships and now finances due to COVID 19.
I cant do this anymore... đ„
Nothing is ever going to change because i cant throw my own daughter out in the streets
People with BPD will try to avoid help because they feel it can be offensive, sometimes you have to give then a little bit of motivation and love and support. She is also in a headspace where she doesnt want help because nothing is wrong.
Warrior woman, BPD is a life long condition, it doesn't go away although psychotherapy can be very effective over time. Wich aproach of therapy it doesn't matter, more important is the personality of the therapist, as people with BPD needs "reparenting", meaning a long lasting relationship with a person who can be seen as a parent figure but a person who really understands the disorder and really knows how to relate to people who have such a serious issue. You should think as your daughter as a person without skin, but on a psychological level, as this way feel people who have this disorder. Every little critique is a real offense to them. They do not have good mechanism defense to protect them not to feel harmed. Also, do not gaslight her when she says how she feels because this is the reality she lives in. If you want to change this, you should always belive her no matter how this looks for you.
And no matter what, do not blame yourself as a parent. You didn't fail as your job as a parent is not over yet, you still can help her to start living a fulfilling life and thus help yourself and your other child to live a better life around her. Good luck!
Is this an ongoing problem still? I wanted to comment and say that Iâm a 20 year old with BPD who has moved back in with their parents due to financial instability from covid and my mom worries about frequent outbursts a lot. The best thing that helps me is absolute freedom no judgment from her with how I feel. I love when she puts herself in my shoes and really tries to understand as if her brain worked this way as well. Remember your daughter is acting a certain way in a way to survive. Itâs all survival so what she is battling in her head she is putting on a persona in which she is able to survive and keep safe. Donât hover over her. Allow her to believe she is safe by herself as well as with you. Build her confidence by embodying confidence yourself. Show her it is possible. Xoxo
You're still told to "reach out."
My Mom is BPD
But it's incredibly difficult to find someone who uses it correctly!! I found therapists who absolutely didn't use... "mercy". I was stressed beyond tolerance and no one said "touch the couch" and instead kept... Insultung me(im not joking) or asking me to think and think and said about all the things i was doing wrong and that i had to change... Well, i know i have to change!! Why are we talking and SEEING each other if i didn't have to or WANT to?? I felt seriously dragged on a floor and not "pampered" for once in my life as i always needed. I don't want pity, i want to LEARN, but nobody taught me i just had to touch the couch and name the things in the room... It... Life it's so simple and how in the world can therapists be so able to forget that? We already live in a brainy world... What are they doing? I might even have ptsd for the kind of therapy i've done, and i wish i was kidding, but i'm not... People lose themselves in a glass of water. I lose myself in a glass of marbles and nobody knew what to do with them and it's probably tge biggest tragedy of my life because if your family, you or others can struggle to understand or comprehend, how can a professional be so... - i'd get killed- ignorant or unprepared? The reality is that is 2019 but it's still incredibly difficult to find support or explain yourself, i guess. And it's so sad... And really this would even benefit who is NOT deep in the trenches of suffering. Such ignorance in the world... And you'd just need a guide and information on yourself. I... How can i sit still on this? I want to, i need to get my life back together... Why is it so difficult for anyone to get the simplest things? I've even been told that i don't want to get better wich is absurd... I'm dedicating my life to trying to learn. And how is it possible that i find answers with a video and sadly it's the case for who knows how many people. A world full of psychologists and yet they manage to miss entirely the approach. I hope i'll find a way to communicate what i need and find a way to help myself. I hope...
Sorry for the long, surely wrong comment, i'm... Sorry...
I'm sorry the person wasn't a good fit for you :( I hope you find someone who is. Maybe ask them to start with DEAR MAN and then every time they go off course and do something unhelpful you can use DEAR MAN to get them back on the same page with you? Just an idea, I wish you the very best
@@therabbithat thank you for your answer, but i'm not sure i understood. But if you have to redirect the therapist, isn't it just a bad sign? If it's just part of a natural conversation it's a thing, but if it's frustration it's just a bad thing.
Your comment is not wrong at all. A therapist who doesn't use "mercy" is not a real therapist. So keep searching for a good one. Unfortunately, good terapists arenot easy to find as this is not an easy job. But I still think you should keep searching. I understand you can feel traumatised by situation in wich people who should offer you help are the oposite of what a helper should be. Unfortunately this is a job in witch the person of the therapist is the main tool. Techiniques from different aproach are secondary and would not work in the "hands" of the wrong person. A good therapist has to have empaty. Empathy is the main tool in therapy. And this is a natural skill, it can't be achived through training. So, all I want to say to you is keep searching and don't put the blame on yourself if you didn't find a good therapist yet.
A bit behind the curve....the Mindfulness you speak of has always been within the spot light of recentering the mind towards the actual moment of now... without analytical attachment. Sorry, but their is nothing new under the sun...read the book of Ecclesiastes.
Luis Arellano some people donât read the Bible, nor are aware of this info.
Heâs not saying mindfulness is new. Heâs saying the implementation of it combined with the rest of this method is whatâs new.
Just another way to reach more people and hopefully relieve suffering
that's me, and im fighting for help and can't
Same here. I've been going to the same mental health treatment center for 30 years and they still can't help me. I'm sick of living with me and just want help.
I have BPD and my husband is a Narcissist and we have 3 kids together
I.just.wanted.to.listen.to.Dr.Judy.fcol.
walking on a trail with a dog[s] is dbt
What is her name?
She is beautiful
It's uncomfortable watching this interviewer bring the points back to himself. It would be helpful if he asked questions rather than make statements when she is the expert.
@Cupcakelover3457 and that's just the thing. It's not about him. We're here for the professionals, not to watch him try to pretend to be one or keep up with them. Maybe he should humble himself and let the experts' knowledge shine rather than his incredible ability to absorb, retain and regurgitate information on the very illnesses WE as viewers come here to learn about.
It's extremely hard to keep focus on this video because she is so beautiful.
Does the interviewer want to show off how many disorders he knows?
I wonder if he's compensating for not being an expert while also not wanting to seem like he doesn't know what he's doing.
I am skeptical that she makes it sound like DBT being the answer for all mental health issues. I know that people gotta sell their crafts, but can we be at least somewhat intellectually honest?
Judging from comments on these videos, it really does have positive outcomes for all those illnesses.
They always stress that it makes you better, it doesn't cure. Dr Grande has a good video where he gives the pros and cons about dbt.
Iâve done it and it helped me out tremendously. I have bpd.
đ
she pretends to work with mindfulness and has no idea where it comes from. In meditation you sometimes wake up in the present moment and it has nothing to do with being a better person, it only focuses on awareness, consciousness and perception. I thing if you use technics from other methods you should know about the roots
Although, some peopleâs brains are just mashed.
My spouse is a nurse with what I believe is undiagnosed BPD. Sheâs unapproachable with even the idea anything is wrong, she lashes out to the point of violent behavior if I hint at the idea of seeking therapy. Itâs destroyed our marriage, her teenage kids have moved out and are living with their father, her job is effected, she hints at self harm, etc.. How do I open her mind to be receptive to even talking to a professional? Itâs like watching a train wreck and Iâm powerless to help. What can I do?
Have someone else speak to her, maybe a trusted friend. Catch her at the point where sheâs feeling guilty or ashamed or embarrassed about having an outburst. The disorder does have a cycle. Then, tell her a list of things sheâs done and had been ashamed of doing after the outburst and desperateness dies down. I have successfully used straight forward, blunt communication to really get through to someone. You almost have to be prepared like a lawyer with many examples of their behavior to prove that they need to seek help. Be fearless and confident. Donât let them discourage you. In the end, they want a different result as well and want to feel secure but donât know how to get that security and love without manipulation.
Her name made me giggle.
How could you forget about mentioning the worst mental illness of all, schizophrenia? I don't think your DBT would be helpful at all for paranoid schizophrenia.
Youâre right it isnât, While DBT is rooted From CBT, research has shown that CBT is more effective for patients with schizophrenia because of the disorders thoughts, although DBT could still be used. Thatâs probably why it wasnât mentioned because itâs not necessarily the first âgo-toâ.
Ho Mother transference issues.
.
Short term treatments are not the best for people. Theyâre band aids for the real struggles that need to be dealt with.
Long form is the way to go đ