Van Life Is Tough On Our Relationship // Europe Ep 5
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- čas přidán 7. 08. 2021
- Visiting Cinque Terre Italy and opening up about how van life is taking a toll on our relationship.
Submit your questions down below for our Q&A!
SUBSCRIBE - / @rayaandlouis
Raya
CZcams // / rayawashere
Twitter // / rayawashere
Instagram // / rayawashere
Louis
CZcams // / louiscole
Twitter // / louiscole
Instagram // / louiscole
MUSIC FOR VIDEOS (Best website for CZcamsrs!) → bit.ly/2Hy3fNI
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Thanks for watching our couple's channel! Join us as we travel through Europe with our van or drive from the U.S. to Costa Rica in our school bus. We can't wait to share the journey of buying land in Costa Rica and building our dream house with you. Subscribe to follow our journey!
"It's about us versus the problem, not us versus each other". Best relationship advice EVER.
💯💯💯
I love that Louis can publicly owned up what he wants to change in his behavior about the relationship
I love how Raya didn’t own up to anything she needs to change.
I can't believe 7 years has passed that quickly, what a decade or so its been!
Something that Raya said I hadn't thought about before, "Working through the issue together, rather than blame the individual", that really clicked, definitely something i'll take away to be more aware of for myself and others.
❤️❤️
and not only that quote from Raya, but remembering how difficult life has become with the Pandemic and all that has followed or not followed. So many things we took for granted, or thought was our future and having to make changes when we don't necessarily want to...
louis “it did say temporarily closed, but i didn’t believe it” - only louis~! 🤣👏🏻
I’m like that too !!!! LOL
what timestamp?
The ONLY time there is conflict is when expectations aren’t met.
I love that you’ve shared both sides of how van life has been going 🥰 this series has been so beautiful, inside out
Thank you!! ❤️
Happy to see you together. Ups and downs are part of life and we need to adjust and compromise and work things out. Honestly, you both make an adorable couple. So stick together and be happy.
I so agree with comments. There will be arguments if you didn’t I would be worried if you know what I mean. be kind to one another as you guys are doing a great job.
As a long time subscriber to Louis, I will never get tired of hearing him said “just having a cheeky little coffee😊”
I love it too!!
Me too!! 🤗
I appreciate your transparency and honesty of what actually happens in CZcamsr's day to day lives. Too many youngsters out there today are viewing the 'perfect' lives that is portrayed by some and more than likely most CZcamsr's which is leading some people into depression, so it has been nice to see and to watch. Thank you.
Listening to this I can say yep we van lifers have all had the same problems. One of the things we have done to combat the ‘ no personal space’ issue. We learned to not do everything together , some days one of us will not want to do what’s planned and that’s fine! We both go and do our own thing. It’s also great to then meet up after and you both have new experiences to talk about. 🤗✌️💕
When my husband and I were first married we moved to Germany. It was hard because I was away from my family for the first time ever. But it also strengthened our relationship because we only had each other to depend on. Enjoy your travels. You’re making so many wonderful memories!
So refreshing to see the how beautiful and organic your relationship is ! And yes you are human! I don’t know if I could share that! Amazing pictures of Italy! You can capture the moment! Thank you!
Thanks Dawn! ☺️
I came here to say exactly the same thing, Dawn…and we share the same name 😄 All the best, from Dawn.
@@justdawnreborn same name awesome!! I do not hear that very often!!❤️
I would really love to see you answering questions about not having your own personal washroom. How do you find service stations with clean showers; is there an app you use to find them? Also, a hygiene routine esp for Raya during her menstrual cycle. These are just some questions I think about when contemplating van life. Thanks so much 😊
I would love to know too
The highway rest stations in Europe have showers, but I’ve never tried to use one. Yes! a tour of the facilities like K&N did in the Airport lounges.
I really loved the bits of wisdom you mentioned about handling arguments with your partner. Thanks for being open and sharing that! Xo
Thank you for this beautiful tour of Italy and the straight talk! Relationships always have their ups and downs, but in the end it is about communication, consideration for each other and compromise! You are a lovely couple with beautiful souls!
Thank you for being transparent! You’re right, it’s easy to get caught up in seeing other couples apparent perfect lives online but then you don’t see what happens when the camera is off. You seem to be handing conflict really well together and learning about how to work as a team. In my opinion going through those rough patches is what builds a solid relationship. Would love to see more video is like this!
Love these videos. I agree with Raya Louis has such a beautiful soul. He is so generous with his time and patience of others. A very humble man who puts other peoples needs before his own and it’s lovely to see Raya really appreciating that.
I love that you're being so authentic about your relationship and although it's tough, it doesn't mean you should quit. This is something I struggle with a lot, so thank you !
You both are one wonderful team together and alway uplifting each other. I'm grateful the life you share with us.
Thank you! ❤️
Beautiful country, lovely episode. Something I have found helpful: "high expectations lead to low serendipity". Love you guys!
Thank you for being so authentic and open about your relationship. You guys are so amazing! 🖤 we appreciate you sharing what you feel comfortable with. Your relationship always comes first. Sending so much love! ✨
You guys are a great influence as a couple! I love that you took the time to say all those things you’re grateful for and for being real but also setting a great example. 😊
I LOVE your honesty about van life. I want you both to know how much it is appreciated.
This is such a great series with both of you. Thanks for sharing the lows as well as the highs and all the beautiful places you visit. XX
Love how they show reality of the van life too! ❤️
Love your honesty about your relationship. I also like the compassion you exemplify toward people and the world. My question is how do you feel when traveling about Covid19. How do you guys remain safe?
Appreciating your honesty, helps me to enjoy your videos even more. Great advice, especially about the team vs the problem and changing expectations, to appreciate moments more. Sending you both good vibes
Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty. What a great outlook and way to face your challenges. I totally understand. I definitely need my space! After 28 years of marriage. You guys make a great team! Also,video scenery is gorgeous! Enjoy!
great advice on aligning expectations. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for being real and open . Love the travel footage blended in with honesty and techniques for overcoming couple obstacles.. Can feel the love ❤️
I really enjoy and appreciate the honesty in the video. I feel like that's really what a YT audience is looking for at the moment, there are many vlogs and videos capturing the 'perfect travel experience', but in reality it is never like that. Thank you :)
Thank you so much for sharing how you handle conflicts, I will apply that in my life. Both of you is so lucky to have each other.
I love how you both are so down to earth and open with everyone and each other! You guys are so inspirational!!
Weirdly needed this in life right now! Love that you share all parts of your journey with us!
Thank you for sharing the reality of traveling in a van because a lot of times we watch CZcams to get out of our reality and be someplace happy but sometimes you forget that this is somebody’s actual life and it’s not all glitz and glam and happy times. Life isn’t easy no matter what you do love watching you two!
I love so much how open you both are about your emotions and the ups and downs. I have fallen in love with this channel 🥰🥰
Vanlife really is a great teacher and tests relationships. You guys got this!
Your videos just make me so happy:) Thank you for being so honest about life and relationships. You guys bring joy and significance to this world individually so together, even better.❤️❤️
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
I used to work with older adults. One of the things I heard often about relationships and marriage is that it’s a commitment. It’s not always perfect or amazing. To love someone is to be able to dislike / hate them / not want to speak to them for months at a time, but.... they then do something which makes you laugh or smile. This makes you angry because you still want to hate them, but instead it reminds you why you love them and want to be with them. I have taken this with me for years and I have shared it with a lot of people. The other key thing is that when you express how you feel, use ‘ I feel this ‘ rather than ‘ you make me feel this’. love to you both
Raya you are such a beautiful person inside and out! I’ve been married for 35 years now and my husband and I have always lived by a few simple rules. Don’t go to bed angry…talk about what we are stressed about…don’t sweat the small stuff and be respectful of each other’s strengths as well as our weaknesses. Louis you are always smiling which makes me smile when I watch your videos. Stay open and loving it’s so worth it!
You just have to make a point of spending more time for yourself. I remember once a TEDtalk explaining how we expect our partners to be lovers, best friends, partners in crimes, family, confidents... but really, we need to put some of that burden on others. We can't just lean on our partner for everything. Maybe on the trip if you guys have friends in certain areas, split up for the day with a different friend each and stuff like that. Yes the channel and you guys doing stuff tgether is important but not as much as protecting your relationship
Omg..thanks for sharing also the troubles..this is what i was looking for in vlogs more realness.. we all can relate!!
BEAUTIFUL! we're from NZ & only went to Italy once (Venice, Florence, Tuscany) & LOVED the place soooo much. Can't wait to go again one day. You guys are doing your relationship justice simply bc you see the signs when you need to be present & communicate. When my hubs & I feel tetchy, we'll go to the ocean or somewhere in beautiful nature, & earth... go barefoot & re-connect again. Also, here's some good ways to protect your van when you're not there:
1) make sure it's a happy place, running on high frequency... burn some sage, sage incense, incense you feel connected with, to cleanse & purify area.
2) do a quick meditation to white-light your van (your home) imagining it surrounded by white, protective, light... (or gold or blue) imagine a heart over it, dressing the van in lovely vibes...
3) place this really old threshold blessing somewhere by the doors. folded up in the sun visors etc would be good. As follows:
Who comes to us we keep
Who goes from us we free
Yet against all we stand
Who does not carry our key
4) Black Obsidian, Tigers Eye, Rose Quartz, crystals are personal favourites to embrace protection. Simply sit with them & ask for their radiant protection & love to surround your space.
This beautiful house blessing/protection is from unknown source, explained in a super old spiritual book I had, & it's brought us luck for many MANY years.
The act, from pure hearts, of creating blessings to support ourselves out in the world, loved ones, homes etc, brings a beautiful energy all of itself. Trust it
Thank you so much for sharing everything. It's so helpful to see and hear the whole picture.
I love how you guys are so real! I can’t imagine 24/7 in your face time no matter how much I love someone! What a beautiful area! Can’t wait to see the new dress, everything looks so pretty on You!
Thank you!! ❤️
Thanks for being vulnerable with one another and with all of us. Vulnerability builds stronger, healthier relationships.
Thank you for sharing!! Love this video and so meaningful
I love you 2! Good relationship advice! You have figured it out! I have been married for 43 years and my hubby and I have always given 80 20 and it works! Of course we have issues we work through but I will say I’ve enjoyed being with my man all my life!
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Gratefulness and thankfulness. Beautiful. I'm learning this. In everything houve thanks. Nice to see your love for each other
Oh my gosh that walk to the showers at the end😳
Raya saying "I have this as a puzzle "- how freaking cool is that?!
As for q&a, I'm curious, once you build your tree house in Costa Rica will you continue to travel?
Great vlog guys. Love your honesty❤
Raya I hope you see this... I freaking love you! You have such a calm beautiful energy that radiates through your videos! Plus you are simply gorgeous! I hope you have as many smiles throughout the day that you inspire in others.
Thank you so so much!! ❤️❤️
Thank you for your honesty ...you will work it out! Sending light and love!
Thank you for being Real with your problems and your Tools! After 30 years it’s still a little hard at times! I wouldn’t change any of it! Safe & Wonderful Travels!
I’m just catching up. I always believe that you can be grateful and have struggles at the same time. 🥰🥰🥰 So amazing adding to my bucket list. Thank for your sharing.
Thank you for sharing your adventures geographically and relationship wise. it was exciting to heat that this travel journey will take you to Bulgaria, I would love to see and hear your exploration there.
Blessings to you guys, you guys are sharing your trip and life so holistically - thanks for sharing the vulnerable and full reality 🤍🤍🌱🌱
Love travel with you. I love Italy and these vilages were pretty but so crowded with tourists. So many bad things about traveling now but less crowded tourist hot spots is a good thing....
I really really needed to hear what you’re saying regarding EXPECTATIONS! Italy really is beautiful👍👍👍👍❤️
Life in general is about the highs and lows, it's part of how we grow. Thanks for sharing the real you and sometimes the best moments when travelling happen in the unplanned moments, so enjoy the journey. We, or rather I follow you because of your personalities so don't focus too much on what content, just take us along on your life journey.
This is a amazing series Keep up the good work.
Thank you!! ❤️
I have watched so many You Tube videos of Cinque Terre that I feel I know it really well even though I have not been there, yet :) My heart lifted when you said you were here. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Thank you very much for sharing the stunning , phenomenal scenery…amazing.
I wish I had some sage advise I can give you both :) All I can share is mine and my husband little mantra " Be kind first and last and do your best in the middle " Be good to each other, love your videos !!
I love that! ❤️
Thanks for showing the beauty of that region of Italy, but also the beauty of your relationship with each other. You’re able to be there for each other when things get tough! 💖 Oh and by the way - I hope those showers were amazing because it was kinda scary how you had to get there! 💦 😉
The view from the sea side cafe omg stellar❣️❣️❣️❣️💙
These are good videos, just because you are so honestly sharing. It is a good thing to struggle in a relationship. Good luck for you two
Thank you for keeping it real. Just discovered your channel on my feed today. New fave.
I can't believe I've been enjoying your journey for all these years now. I am so happy for you. Especially for Raya, because it seems as if she's getting closer to her inner wisdom and true calm spirit. Idk, it's just a feeling.
For the Q&A: Are you planning on meeting some people here in Bulgaria that are your fans, followers, admirers, etc.? I'm not talking about meet & greet but something more of a joint picnic or hike or whatever. What do you think of meet&greet in general?
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
1st step is to realize there's a problem. 2nd step is to tackle them as a team. You two love each other and will have troubles like every relationship! Keep your love first❣
I love you guys and I love how honest and open you are. Its refreshing and inspiring. I appreciate you!!! xxx
Thanks for being so honest guys!
I SOOOOO appreciate the honesty and transparency you guys offer about your relationship. The ups and downs, all of it.
Favorite channel to watch on CZcams ❤️
Thank you Katherine!
We spent way too much time finishing a Ravensburger puzzle of Cinque Terre. Cool to see it in your video! Keep up the awesome videos!
I love your bus more so than your van. Be strong you two. Thank you for sharing your story, authentically.
OK, you posted this a year ago, so I don't know if you'll see this. You guys do everything right, and I did it all wrong! Marriage, expectations, resentment, fear of financial insecurity and drinking to oblivion. Got sober and got some tools I didn't have before. I mentioned on the missed cruise your serenity is in inverse proportion to your expectations. Gratitude every day for the blessings you have. Look to be of service. You guys do ALL OF THAT! Thank you for sharing this beautiful world with us, Louis and Raya. Jim K in Nashville, TN
On every road trip I take, regardless of with whom, we do a daily debrief called a "start, stop, continue (SSC)." It's very helpful!
In addition to gratefulness meditations, asking yourselves what you should start doing on your days, what you need to stop that's hundering success, and what to continue. Journaling those is great, too!
I love these! Thanks for sharing!
Can't wait till u visit 🇧🇦 my background country you are going to love it☺️
Thank you so much..so grateful I ran into you..love from Greece!
It's so cool to see you guys on this trip! It's been hard not being able to travel for so long 😔
Awww the flash back to baby Troy!!! Love to see it!
In love with this video and more importantly, you guys. We found your channel last week and we absolutely love your energy. You inspire us with how you travel and explore and the values you have. We see ourselves in you both, our future selves exploring and being free. It's funny, we brought out a video last week talking about exactly what you mention here - coming together and working through the problem as a team. Absolutely loved you guys sharing your gratitude and your love for one another too 💜🧡 your authenticity shines in these videos and we appreciate it and connect to it. Sending you love and prayers 🙏
Thank you!! ✨❤️
Love watching your journey. I feel like I'm travelling with on these vlogs.
❤️❤️
@@RayaandLouis Italy is a magical place. I'll be forever watching 😊 keep up the awesome content!
Raya you are stunning 🤩
Love your style & kind heart!
So refreshing to hear more about your relationship as a van life couple.
I respect us v problem perspective when searching for solutions 🙏 especially in smaller space. Yay for Gratitude & love 💕
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Your honesty is much appreciated 💜
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I'm not one to really be giving relationship advice but its ok you 2 needed this 🙂 ❤️
Welcome to Italy guys!! 🇮🇹👍🏻😉👋🏻
Thank you!! ☺️❤️🚐
I truly find that having no expectations while traveling is the best way, however, sometimes that’s hard. My partner and I look at the things that didn’t work out as fate and usually we end up finding something that we never expected and it’s better than what we originally had planned. Thanks for sharing this aspect of your relationship, so many people don’t and it’s frustrating because nobody has a perfect life, love, relationship, body, thoughts or behaviors. God Bless and safe travels 🇨🇦🌸🌙
Great video as always, Italy looks breathtaking and thank you for being so honest about your experience!
Question for the Q&A: My partner and I have been vegan for a few years now while all our friends and family are not. How do you two manage the questions about your choice to be vegan with people you are close with while keeping the conversation judgement-free and positive? It's something that is so important for us and we find it difficult sometimes to talk about it without getting too sentimental.
PS: Let us know if you're ever in Ottawa (Canada) we've got some amazing vegan food recommendations!
Good you did not walk from Riomaggiore to Manarola, my family and I did and it was super steep and we were not prepared for such a hike in the hot sun!
Thank you for sharing your travels and the behind the scenes experiences...yikes, the end of the vlog had me very concerned for you trying to get to a working shower...that was scary. Stay safe and keep shining your light into the world...many blessings to you both
Louis ur positive attitude is so rich 🎉
OMG I loved that cave! What an amazing spot to get to the beach!
I should have waited to comment. You guys at dinner were just wonderful...Kudos to a wonderful beautiful couple💚
Wow I remember Louis travelling there in 2014! Feels like another life ago. So much has changed in your life and mine but, I still enjoy and apritiate your videos. Thank you for sharing your feels.
I am truly enjoying all these vlogs. I am a 50 year old that has never travelled outside the US. These places are exceptional. Enjoy your travels and each other. Keep the communication up.
Hoping to go to Italy in the spring of next year, it's so beautiful there
Oh, I LOVE Italy, too!! Never been there, but it is on my "someday" list, for sure!! I totally agree with you when you discussed having some flexibility with expectations. My husband and I have been married almost 35 years. We had this issue the first few years of marriage(I was actually the one who got upset when every expectation/schedule wasn't met), but over time, we both have come to a middle ground. I'm less of a stickler of having everything done as I expect and my husband is willing to work at being more "pro-active" with planning, when it comes to travel. We have a 22 foot travel trailer we pull with a truck. We also don't have a "separate" area in the trailer. Sometimes, I will go spend a little time in the truck or even take a walk by myself, if we are in an area that allows that opportunity. The longest we have been on the road so far has been about 6 weeks, though. We were definitely ready to get back to our home base after that amount of time!
I can't wait to see your grandparents garden Raya. I remember from some older vlog when you both showed us your grandmas tomatoes...i could "taste" them in my imagination...its reminds me so much my grandmother's garden back home in Poland....my childhood memories. Thank you guys for sharing your wonderful adventures but mostly for being TRUE. Raya you are such a beautiful woman.and such an inspiration. I have 10yo daughter. I wish for her to have in her life so much passion, positivity, respect for other cultures and traditions and for other people as you have.
Ahh I love that! Cannot wait to share 😍 and thank you so so much ❤️
I was going to watch more of your individual vlogs but seen a new video from this channel. I wish I could travel like this! ❤️ y’all are such a cute amazing couple!
Thank you!! ❤️
I love this video!
I say the biggest relationship struggle is not having a working AC.....
Heat can make us cranky you know.
The scenery is AMAZING!!!!!!!
I know you are both thrilled with traveling right now and yes so very grateful for going with you both 💗