Lorelai and Rory Gilmore: A Complex Codependent relationship..

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Komentáře • 81

  • @FishareFriendsNotFood972
    @FishareFriendsNotFood972 Před měsícem +337

    Rory's arc of 'golden child of the small town cracks when they leave for a bigger pond and find they are a small fish' is such a realistic story, frankly

    • @bougiegirlK
      @bougiegirlK Před měsícem

      This !! Her mother coddled and uplifted her so much that she couldn’t handle dealing with the real world and competing with people who didn’t half of what she had and made them work harder

    • @LoveK1
      @LoveK1 Před měsícem +5

      Yeah, I was really surprised they went that route.

  • @ivannareyes1780
    @ivannareyes1780 Před měsícem +160

    Lorelai naming Rory after herself also supports your argument that she views Rory as an extension of herself. She loves Rory, but she doesn't love that she had to grow up after getting pregnant, so Rory was like a do-over for her. Hence, the living vicariously through her part.

    • @radhiadeedou8286
      @radhiadeedou8286 Před měsícem +11

      Richard and Emily also see Rory as a do over daughter. That girl was never allowed to be her own person

    • @ennuiblue4295
      @ennuiblue4295 Před měsícem +3

      It was also a family name, Gram was 'Lorelei 1'

    • @chrystianaw8256
      @chrystianaw8256 Před měsícem

      ​​@@ennuiblue4295 true

    • @JustaGilmoreGirl13
      @JustaGilmoreGirl13 Před měsícem +1

      It was mainly because she’ was sitting in the hospital thinking about how men name
      their sons after themselves so why couldn’t ‘

  • @beautelle1065
    @beautelle1065 Před měsícem +111

    The problem with Lorelai is that she always made Rory feel that she was superior to others so her going to Yale made her realize she was not that special. You should uplift your kids, but you should also be realistic with them and Lorelai wasn't she really believed that Rory was better than everyone and could do no wrong

    • @lauriecarson6483
      @lauriecarson6483 Před měsícem

      That's not true

    • @beautelle1065
      @beautelle1065 Před měsícem

      @@lauriecarson6483 Girl get off of my comment and go play in some daisies lmao why are you on everyone's comment ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @radhiadeedou8286
      @radhiadeedou8286 Před měsícem +6

      ​@@lauriecarson6483 How many times did she say "Rory is special"?

    • @chrystianaw8256
      @chrystianaw8256 Před měsícem

      ​@@radhiadeedou8286fr

  • @lovefromwonderland
    @lovefromwonderland Před měsícem +109

    Lorelai obviously had to grow up as an adult because she became pregnant at 16. Mind you, Lorelai’s growth was stunted as well because of that, that’s why she talks to her like a best friend. Emily talks to Lorelai like a prissy sergeant would talk to a trainee. With Rory it was the extreme opposite, Lorelai didn’t set boundaries while Emily set far too many.

    • @larafranke1802
      @larafranke1802 Před měsícem +4

      This reminds me in a way of my family:
      My parents were raised in households where the children were not allowed to show emotions that weren’t in the favour of the grown ups. My parents raised us with allowing us to have and express them but they never taught us how to process them in a healthy way. They freed themselves from the suppression but I think they didn’t learn how to handle emotions themselves when we were kids and I think they weren’t aware that this could cause problems. They just mainly knew how harmful it was to be raised by emotional dictators. Each generation might bring something different to the table but in most cases if you do the opposite of your parents parenting style you might miss out on something that was actually a good thing they did..

  • @mindyourmanners3784
    @mindyourmanners3784 Před měsícem +44

    She was just as classist as her parents it was just scaled back some, she just didn't like when people had more than her and had it all together because it made her feel insecure about herself and lmaoooooo not Gollum 😂😂😂😂 the laugh I let out lmao she really did treat her like that

  • @leiiib
    @leiiib Před měsícem +93

    Lorelai cutting Rory off after she didn’t go back to Yale for some
    time off (that I think was much needed) will always make me so upset.The way she handled that was so childish and she was beyond selfish during that time when Rory needed her mother the most. If Rory didn’t do what she wanted she would shut down.
    I also think her going to her grandparents and breaking down like that showed how much Rory felt so overwhelmed and felt like her mother and Lorelai not supporting her made her feel even worse

    • @iconicallyiconic
      @iconicallyiconic  Před měsícem +20

      Absolutely! I agree. The fact that she shut down on Rory and acted like a spoiled brat because Rory wanted to take a semester off was ridiculous. To not speak to your daughter for almost 6 MONTHS is asinine.

    • @lauriecarson6483
      @lauriecarson6483 Před měsícem

      Thru both did that not just Rory. And Loralai will be the first one to help Rory without hesitation.

    • @iconicallyiconic
      @iconicallyiconic  Před měsícem +6

      @@lauriecarson6483 Okay so first and foremost what I am not going to have is you making multiple comments harassing people because of a difference of opinion, no one is required to share the same mindset as you. You’re either an extremely young person or someone who has an unhealthy obsession with this show. Now I don’t mind you having an opinion because everyone is different and we all view things differently, but what I won’t tolerate is childish antics because you can’t fathom someone not having the same beliefs or ideology as you, if you continue to harass my subscribers you will be reported and blocked.

    • @leiiib
      @leiiib Před měsícem

      @@lauriecarson6483 Girl find you some business lmao

    • @fatimakhan4671
      @fatimakhan4671 Před měsícem +7

      Lorelai always thought with parental motives but but acted with best friends actions. Wanting your child to not drop a semester is a normal parental sentiment. Throwing a tantrum and giving them the silent treatment is childish.

  • @barbiesinspiration8799
    @barbiesinspiration8799 Před měsícem +88

    Lorelai's ability to always make Rory right even when she was wrong is the reason why Rory started rebelling at an older age, like her sleeping with Dean, she didn't think Lorelai would have a problem with her behavior because she didn't any other time and everyone else was wrong so what was different this time? I remember going to college with girls like Rory who while nice, felt like the praise they got in school for being #1 and being the star student would be the same in college and that the professors would favor them and it was the complete opposite and they struggled alot, even dropping out.

    • @alfobootidir2474
      @alfobootidir2474 Před měsícem +9

      And the times that Rory was right, like with Dean and the termites, Lorelai convinces her she was in the wrong. For instance it’s completely normal and ok for a teen girl to feel uncomfortable with a declaration of love and not having the ability to articulate that discomfort the moment her boyfriend is literally pressuring her. Lorelai is like “this is how you treat him?” It’s not hard to see where her dating issue began. And this happened a lot. Dean was insecure and possessive and actually not the greatest boyfriend but Lorelai often urged Rory to over look that bc “he’s actually sweet.” Then when she overlooks he has a whole wife, “how could you overlook this!”
      Lorelai makes the point that she’s not responsible for Rory cheating and that fair enough but she says “so I set one bad example” no girl you set many bad examples

    • @lauriecarson6483
      @lauriecarson6483 Před měsícem

      It's not that deep

    • @barbiesinspiration8799
      @barbiesinspiration8799 Před měsícem +1

      @@lauriecarson6483 It's not that deep yet you're on everyone's comment harassing them because they don't like certain characteristics of a character, making your own opinions as well, typical o x y m 0 r o n. go grab some fresh air and soak up the sun and get a friend doll it works wonders for l0n e ly people with parasocial relationships

    • @alfobootidir2474
      @alfobootidir2474 Před měsícem +6

      @@lauriecarson6483are you aware people talk about tv show theories for fun? Like say, Lorelai and Rory in a reference joke literally every episode? Usually when someone says “it’s not that deep” they are 1. Media illiterate 2. Not deep themselves and incredibly boring. Imagine watching the walking dead or something with you. Everyone having a good time, talking about the show, and you come along to say every conversation “it’s not that deep” cool go away then?

    • @Princessdollamanda
      @Princessdollamanda Před měsícem +5

      ⁠​⁠@@alfobootidir2474She’s saying that meanwhile in multiple peoples comment’s trying to convince people that their OPINIONS are wrong 🤦🏽‍♀️ so much that iconically had to check her. Shows are created for a reason and it’s for people to have open dialogue. people like her only like to hear opinions that please them and will argue with people about it as if someone forced her to watch this video, like you said cool go away lol

  • @riritheedon8967
    @riritheedon8967 Před měsícem +30

    I’ve never watched Gilmore Girls I love the fact that you’re doing a breakdown of this relationship 😩🫶🏾

  • @Princessdollamanda
    @Princessdollamanda Před měsícem +64

    Lorelai was so childish it was unbearable that tantrum she threw when Jess and Rory got in that accident was so enraging because she didn’t even care to ask if Jess was okay or believe Rory when she said it wasn’t his fault, she went storming into Luke’s restaurant and just unleashed onto him with her childish antics like always and then wants to make nice with him after all that she said as though he’s just supposed to forgive her. She rarely ever let Rory explore her independence which is why she had such a hard time navigating after she left for college

    • @esztopiros
      @esztopiros Před měsícem +8

      The same happened when she was stealing the boat... She automatically believed that she got in jail because of Logan and she didn't let her to explain otherwise.

    • @badbitch.imthebar
      @badbitch.imthebar Před měsícem +1

      Yooo omg the way she couldn't fathom Rory doing anything wrong made me dislike her more than Rory especially her putting her mugshot on the fridge. It was always some one elses fault until Rory decided to take a semester off at Yale and didn't do what she wanted only thennnn is she wrong lmao

    • @lauriecarson6483
      @lauriecarson6483 Před měsícem

      Wow Emily calm down it's not that deep

    • @Princessdollamanda
      @Princessdollamanda Před měsícem +8

      @@lauriecarson6483 Emily ?😂😂 you just called me a fictional character because I have an opinion is your br a i n made up of mush and dust ? are you mad because someone has a different opinion than you. I SAID WHAT I SAID crunchy 😊 be blessed

    • @barbiesinspiration8799
      @barbiesinspiration8799 Před měsícem

      @@Princessdollamanda that thing is a whole w3!rd0 she's on everyone's comments saying it's not that deep while proceeding to show it's that deep to herself lmaoooo you really can't make this up

  • @naomikimbokimi9015
    @naomikimbokimi9015 Před měsícem +43

    Lorelai definitely parentified Rory at times and acted like a friend more than a mother, I think a lot of things contributed to the demise of Rory’s character including the environment she grew up in. Honestly lorelai and Rory’s relationship reminds me of a more tame version of Susan and Julie from desperate housewives

  • @qualinseler
    @qualinseler Před měsícem +10

    Basically she didn't let Rory grow where she was supposed to and then completely let go when it was time to control the situation with Rory dropping out and moving to her grandparents.

  • @alfobootidir2474
    @alfobootidir2474 Před měsícem +24

    I’m gonna have to disagree that Lorelai would have had the guidance of her parents if she hadn’t left. I mean she would get inundated with ‘guidance’ but it wouldn’t have been good guidance. I think it would have stunted her growth similar to Rory but different mechanisms. Overbearing vs enabling.

    • @iconicallyiconic
      @iconicallyiconic  Před měsícem +13

      This is actually a good point, I do think Lorelai needed some guidance from her parents as she was a teen parent, they would have some good input with raising Rory maybe not all the way, but she did need some of that. Lorelai’s growth was stunted period, as we see when it comes to her relationships and how she handles any conflict or people she feels are “going against her”. However, knowing Emily she would’ve tried to take over and not let Lorelai parent her daughter in any capacity.

    • @Aelffwynn
      @Aelffwynn Před měsícem +6

      Yeah, I think it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for Lorelai. I also believe Lorelai must have been very depressed trying to raise Rory in her parents' house. Rory would not have thrived with a severely depressed mother, either. Lorelai and Rory are both realistic in a lot of ways, and I agree Lorelai made a lot of mistakes as a mom. But they're realistic mistakes. She did her best with all the flaws she had.

    • @LB-gz3ke
      @LB-gz3ke Před měsícem

      I'm not sure if they would have provided guidance(not the kind Lorelai would listen to, anyway). But I think the financial support would have been worth staying for. Richard wasn't a hands on father, so money would have been his only contribution. And Emily didn't seem like a baby loving grandma, so she would just be critical from the sidelines. She managed to be her own person for 16 years. I don't think 3 or 4 more years to get some kind of stable job would have killed her. I am not saying stay with them forever, just a few more years rather than live in a shed with a baby.

    • @alfobootidir2474
      @alfobootidir2474 Před měsícem +6

      @@LB-gz3ke one of the most interesting/ out of touch/ funny character traits Lorelai has is that she’s so privileged she doesn’t have the self awareness to know refusing large sums of money is entirely from a place of privilege. Not a single working class person (the way Lorelai thinks she’s being with that choice) would say no to the amount of money being offered to her. But I can accept the running joke that her mom is such a pill she makes 50,000 dollars seem not worth one night a week of a gourmet meal and is actually a high price to pay. Also I think a more subtle joke is Lorelai being like “yall just don’t understand what being my mother’s daughter is like” and most other characters are right in their dismissive responses. Gurl it is you who doesn’t understand 😂

    • @LB-gz3ke
      @LB-gz3ke Před měsícem +1

      @@alfobootidir2474 Yes, exactly. It's like when she and Sookie get the chance to cater for Emily when they absolutely needed the money. Poor Sookie was so frustrated with Lorelai. Girl, we are real broke and your mom is offering real money and you want to bitch because she expects to try the food first?

  • @ChinyereXO
    @ChinyereXO Před měsícem +13

    This analysis is so good ✨️I enjoyed this show, but always wondered if it was a secretly a social commentary on what happens when people put someone in a pedestal 🤔

  • @PleaseEnterANam3
    @PleaseEnterANam3 Před měsícem +7

    Wow... a fair analysis of their relationship that isn't just "Lorelai is the best, Rory sucks and Emily is satan". I never thought I'd see it happen lol
    Edit: 11:20 I think another part of this is that Lorelai would have to admit to her own shortcomings and similarities to her parents. Lord knows how much she loves doing that

    • @oooh19
      @oooh19 Před měsícem

      Most people don’t want to admit they’re like their parents though which is normal

  • @bgeese1918
    @bgeese1918 Před měsícem +19

    Havent seen the rest of the video but based on the comments mentioning Lorelai…im so glad that she gets called out cause omg on the other side of the fandom, god forbid she gets called out or toxic even. Like she was great too but that doesnt take away how a huge reason why rory turned out the way she did (not to take away most of the responsibility from rory too) is from lorelai. Neither are perfect, including Lorelai. But what makes her so lovable is that she does learn from her mistakes and that eventually influences on rory (in some parts at least lol)

  • @alyzu4755
    @alyzu4755 Před měsícem +2

    OMG, your voice is so soothing! 🥰

  • @LaraOmar
    @LaraOmar Před měsícem +1

    Wonderful analysis! I love these videos.

  • @nicolesherman8974
    @nicolesherman8974 Před měsícem +4

    Welcome back love! I love these shows/movie breakdowns of these characters. These characters for the most part inspire my Pinterest board lol. 🖤

  • @greendiamondglow
    @greendiamondglow Před měsícem +3

    I saw the show for the first time as an adult years after it ended, so I feel like i missed the zeitgeist. I thought Lorelei was a loving mom, but an irresponsible one, and Rory was an entitled brat from season 1. But that's why i love the show. They are messy, but not stressfully loud. Gilmore Girls is to drama what Murder, She Wrote is to procedural crime.

  • @katythebeauty330
    @katythebeauty330 Před měsícem +23

    I’m currently on season 5 and I don’t want to watch the full video until I’m done but yes their relationship is very unhealthy. Lorelai never really parented Rory and she viewed her as a friend instead of her child. It’s funny how Lorelai would get mad at her parents for getting into her relationships but she did the same with Rory and Jess. She had such disgust towards him when really he’s just a troubled teen. She also didn’t see her privilege which is a big part of her fault as well.

  • @saffyesperas2278
    @saffyesperas2278 Před měsícem +4

    Rory has more issues of Parentfication than we know.

  • @chinnyb4942
    @chinnyb4942 Před měsícem +1

    I loved their fashion!

  • @multifilms1022
    @multifilms1022 Před měsícem

    You got a new subscriber :) love your video styling. Would love to see a video of the iconic Vanessa Williams her fashion, music, and film/TV retrospective (The movie Dance with Me introduced me to her).

  • @superdani152003
    @superdani152003 Před měsícem +2

    Lovely video!Any chance you make one about "Veronica Mars "?

  • @iwishmynamewasclementine
    @iwishmynamewasclementine Před měsícem +3

    Any relationship would be better than the one I had with my mom. But this codependency thing can be unhealthy to any relationship type

  • @angelaholmes8888
    @angelaholmes8888 Před měsícem +3

    You should do video on Christopher and jess 🤔

  • @angelicaheredia9187
    @angelicaheredia9187 Před měsícem +1

    4:18 that part is wild like I could never imagine my other acting like that, I'm not exaggerating when I say teenage me would just burst out crying. Call past me dramatic idc

  • @sussiegoth8172
    @sussiegoth8172 Před měsícem +1

    Hello, can you make a video talking about the underrated fashion of Betsy Jobs and Arlene Lorenzo from the 1999 movie D¡ck?

  • @aniyahr.9274
    @aniyahr.9274 Před měsícem +6

    I think Lorelai’s own lack of experiences didn’t help too as far as her own development. She didn’t feel or wasn’t equipped to prepare Rory for certain things as far as navigating life as her own woman especially the Yale situation which I guess is in a way a reflection of the hardship of parenting sometimes tho. Rory was supposed to be this mature smart girl who always figured it out “better” than Lorelei at times. Lorelei needed to step up as a mother there but got angry cause she was confronted with the fact that her “perfect” kid chose to do an imperfect thing in her eyes that she couldn’t deflect it coming from Rory cause Rory usually could do no wrong in her eyes. Im pretty sure if Lorelai would’ve handled that one moment better then Rory likely wouldn’t had continued to spiral the way she did.

  • @isaiahedwards6586
    @isaiahedwards6586 Před měsícem

    I been tryna decide if i should binge watch this show, is it worth it?

  • @alicehong7809
    @alicehong7809 Před měsícem

    When I watched this show as a middle schooler I kinda envied that Rory had a mom that’s like an older sister. I had Narcissist parents, cold and emotionally distant.

  • @RilianSharp
    @RilianSharp Před měsícem +1

    emily and richard would not have helped guide lorelai in raising rory. they would have made it worse.

  • @VyctoriaBrooks
    @VyctoriaBrooks Před měsícem

    Am I in the minority that thought Mitchell was wrong?

  • @nora4981
    @nora4981 Před měsícem +9

    Honestly Lorelei and Rory were as elitist as Lorelei’s parents. That’s one reason they stuck in stars hollow, they were better than everyone there.

    • @lauriecarson6483
      @lauriecarson6483 Před měsícem

      Rory went away from Stars Hallow and Lorelai dodmt have to leave Stare Hallow. It wasn't hurting anyone

    • @chrystianaw8256
      @chrystianaw8256 Před měsícem

      Huh?

  • @paolaayarie4640
    @paolaayarie4640 Před měsícem +3

    This opened my eyes, like my mom and I had a relationship like this🫠I didn’t realize that