Trevor Unpacks The Conversation Around Men & The "Right to Sex" | The Daily Show
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- čas přidán 29. 07. 2023
- "I think we take for granted how much in society, men who say sex is the thing they're not getting, are actually struggling with a lack of companionship, of intimacy, of being in a space with a person where they're sharing everything from seratonin to endorphis, to what humans need to feel." Trevor explores the Washington Post article on men having less sex than ever, and its reflection of a society where men are afraid to be vulnerable. #TDSThrowback #DailyShow #Comedy
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As a stripper who never wanted to talk i can confirm that intimacy and talking is what people who payed for lap dances actually wanted most of the time. Let that sink in.
As a former stripper, I can attest to this statement being true!
Sink in? Oh honey, you think you're teaching us smth new here or? Only real kids or adult-kids wouldn't know such basic, fundamental truth, the exact kinds of creatures that make this the rotten world that it is. Let *that* sink in.
So glad you ladies left these comments (aside from the condescending hater.) what a burden for a complete stranger to dump their emotions on you, and because men can be so violent and emotional, I imagine it might have been anxiety inducing for you. Trying to make sure you don’t make their fragile selves feel “mocked” so you make it out of the situation unharmed. Men have a pandemic of loneliness and it is not the collective job of women to resolve it.
I follow a web cam lady who also does the phone 📱 thing too. She said the men talk talk talk AND, she makes them pay pay pay.
She said they need therapy, but won’t go bec they can’t say “certain” things to therapist bec therapist has to report it.
Sending my love...
thanks for helping the lonely
... The amount of times the audience was laughing when it wasn't really appropriate is testament to how true what Trevor was saying is.
yeah they didn't seem to take his words to heart, and it really bothered me the most when he said "guys cant just hold each other" and they laughed. Like no wonder men feel so deprived if just the MENTION of men caring for each other is apparantly hilarious to an entire audience. bizarre.
@@charlottefarrell9095 I don't think it's because they thought it was funny; it's because they thought it was uncomfortable. Trevor is dropping truth bombs, but the concept of men's vulnerability is so taboo that they find the concept uncomfortable, so they laugh. It's a very common response.
Its called a laugh track, it tells the audience when to laugh and when not to laugh. It’s all showbiz
@@610kclaf It's not there for Between the Scenes, though.
I know I’m walking into a trap question but they’re probably laughing on how absurd and disgusting that is.
As a female adult, when I'm having a bad day, I ask my mum for a long hug and kisses without reason and whenever she provides without asking, everything gets a little better.
That is lovely and wonderful, that you have your mom near and willing to do this for you.
It’s part of why I miss my mom so much. Enjoy alllll the hugs!!!
I miss my Mom, she died of brain cancer about 2 years ago now. I still have dreams where she is alive and I hug her and tell her how much I love her.
@@MirrimBlackfox Same...I also dream of my mum time to time. I dream of our time together, the hugs and comforting talks. ❤️🥲 She died due to post covid lung scarring two years ago.
And right there is the difference. If a male adult wants that he either has to get a wife or girlfriend first who will do that for him willingly (or else she loses respect for him and dumps him), or he simply has to do without and is told to "man up" because that's what's expected of him, to be strong and silent and stoic in the face of adversity. And if a man can't do that 24/7 then he's considered to be a failure as a man. What you have to realize is that men are still human...
Incidentally, you know who really addressed this point while still empowering women? Barbie and the Barbie Movie. I was genuinely surprised, they didn't have to do that at all. But they did. They went there.
Undoubtedly Trevor was one of kind. Daily Show does not feel the same without him.
Same with Jon Stewart...
he left ?
@@shriaaravji yes
Of course, The Daily Show isn’t the same without Trevor. Just like it wasn’t the same after Jon left the show. But, I do miss both of them not being on the show because it was a great vehicle to hear from these two contemporary wise men on a regular basis.
Agree
Part of that conversation may also need to include an examination of father-son relationships being sometimes devoid of intimacy.
One of the angles that seems to be helpful for some guys today. Is talking about alexithymia. And Dr k on CZcams talks about it. Alexithymia is the inability to identify emotions, but it can help guys access and express emotions.
@@steggopotamus I agree. Being able to identify a specific feeling and commecting that feeling with specific vocabulary helps start that discussion. Having the words to use absolutely helps ❤️
@@butt.whytho or the lack of one could be a problem as well.
biggest part of the issue just comes down to this wider societal ideal of a cold, stoic, "tough" man. every parent who pushes that on their son is just a cog in the same machine that our society needs to break.
That is key, and could be a gamechanger
The laughs in the audience say everything about where we are as a society.
Sad but very true! We're puritans still and man-man intimacy is still one of the taboos, in 2023!
Yes! Reminds me of an old Mr. Rogers interview on a night show. He didn’t ignore it but explained well why they were laughing. a man before his time..a time we still haven’t reached.
To be fair, a live audience is a weird beast - they aren't always laughing because something's funny. They could be laughing out of discomfort or to relieve tension. I've experienced it happening, and it's WEIRD.
But even if they're not like "haha that's funny" it's still an indication of discomfort
@@rizahawkeyepierce1380 Laughing because the topic makes them uncomfortable/tense still *_very much_* proves OP's point.
@@caraquenoit’s not taboo, I would much rather be held by a female than a man. I can talk to and be held by a man whenever, but with a woman is rare. Very very rare.
3:27 '[...] because as guys, you can't just go to a guy and be like _just hold me_ .' anyone here remembering the famous dying scene in the BBC show _Merlin_ [2008-12] where Arthur tells Merlin just moments before his death 'just hold me' and the fandom goes wild until this day. our emotional constipation is a cultural embarrassment
💯
constipation? sounds painful
OML YESS!!!
@lanaalt2387 as is holding back emotions regularly.
@@tiacool7978 I've been describing my parents like this for years 😅
This is so basic, so simple and so true. Can we just embrace one another without a trip between the sheets? I love Trevor.❤
It's actually sad the audience laughed when he was trying to explain the loss and loneliness men feel with the lack of intimacy in their lives. Like that's the reason many men feel ashamed to ask for it. Understanding where that loss stems from, it makes me sad that more men don't have that in their lives, and wish for it. If only people could open up their hearts a little bit more.
we've gotten the privilege to grow up with trevor noah as he matures as a critical thinker, big-picture thinker, a pattern recognizer, as an optimist, and that is so gratifying to me
I am a woman and I would really like to see this conversation happen in society as much as I wanted for us to be allowed to enjoy ‘adult funtime’ and not be called a sl*t. Men also need to be asked ‘are you ok?’ sometimes, and I do ask my friends this regularly even if they dodge it a couple times. Intimacy and sexuality shouldn’t be gender restricted, he’s totally right. Admitting one has issues and asking for help or support is strength in on itself, as it is difficult as heck to do.
May being a "sl*t" is a worthy of it's name? Maybe women, possessing monopoly of reproduction, have different goals than men? "Adult fun time" is actually a reward for the genes to continue. So woman's value is based on how much she is denying this pleasure while for men it is the opposite, how much we earn that pleasure. We are wired differently, the sl*t phase actually messes woman's psychology up -- they do not perform their task correctly and they will feel damaged because of it. It is not society that causes that, but the very core of who we are as species. People mix up "adult fun time" with anxiety and dopamine fix that our modern life teaches us -- instant gratification. In the end it is harmony and healthy relationship that is giving us actual fulfillment.
Men have been offloading the responsibility of their emotional ineptitude onto women for decades. Show me a man who needs to self reflect and seriously get in touch with his own vulnerabilities and I'll show you a man who refuses to go to therapy.
I love Trevor's deep thinking and his ability to make smart humor. ❤ Gold. And I agree, brotherhood with intimate and vulnerable conversations will heal so many people.
This is why women get girlfriend-zoned. We approach our friendships with men the same way was our friendships with women, and guys misinterpret the emotional intimacy as an opening for physical intimacy. Not always, of course, but I think it's a big factor.
Yep. I always warned them ahead of time but they never listen. Now I just don’t deal with men outside work. 🤷♀️
Yes.
It's a waste of time being friends with a bunch of women when you can just have 1 woman and hang out with her
@@gintoki_sakata__ I feel you but I would rather be friends with whoever I end up being friends with. Avoiding friendships with women before you have a girlfriend is not a great defense mechanism against the male loneliness situation imo.
If you believe you're so sensitive to falling for someone with the first bit of attention they give you I guess I relate more than I'd like to admit, but I try anyway. I get indirectly rejected pretty often, which stings, and I haven't had a girlfriend in years. But I have to know somewhere in my chest that I'm being rejected because I get clingy and that clinginess is because of the male loneliness epidemic. It's not entirely my fault, but I just try to get less clingy and work on myself.
It hurts, and if all this effort doesn't work out eventually it will probably be pretty devastating but I have to try. Best of luck to you, brother🌌
You spitting
Trevor is so wise. He always makes me see things in a different way. A more compassionate way.
that is exactly right - you understand it in a more thoughtful way. I just enjoy how he expresses himself.
Wow! Amazing Trevor! That was the most real stuff I've heard "out in the open" like that. This is what true courage and wisdom looks like.
Dear Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson, this is what a real intellectual looks like. Have a nice day. 😁
😂😂😂😂The Manosphere is coming for you.🏃🏿♂️🏃🏿♂️🏃🏿♂️🏃🏿♂️
Ben ? Okay....
@happilydivorced3235 it's cool the normal healthy men and women got homie back. 😂😂😂 let them come.
@@daijourcalloway998yes we do 😤 let em’ arrive
@@happilydivorced3235 If you think the manosphere idolizes Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson, I have a bridge to sell you
Right on. Nobody should be afraid to ask to be held. ❤
😢yeah
That's what they all say, then a man asks for help and gets laughed out of every room in his own house
@@lexruptorthat is so sad. Sometimes my husband and just hug. He may need one or I may need one. Just a serious affectionate hug. You realize with how busy life is that you need to just stop and hug someone. I feel like I see the younger generation of men be much more open to affection from their buddies and I think it is wonderful, I just wish the older generations could have had that.
I love Trevor Noah's mind!! His viewpoints on things are always so refreshing, well-thought and leaves you thinking deeper into subjects usually explored on the surface. A true gift to this generation!🥰
False person and non state actor it's really no surprise you'd be clinging to that
@@cxa24 You've got some severe untreated mental health issues.
@@cxa24 Ohh, you’re a secret fan sneaking around watching Trevor Noah videos!! We see you, boo ✌🏻
No, Trevor's not back, he's not coming back. Yes, the strike is ongoing. It will most likely go through October. Give writers and actors the fair treatment and payment they deserve!
Yes!
I know this is an old video, but...I love to hear Trevor's opinions. He always makes interesting points . 😊
The problem with this is the corporation is robbing him...
@@HashknightGaming Thank you. I am reading about this right now. I had no idea all of that was going on 😬 (I watch the show every once in a while. Mostly clips. Meme moments)
Trevor is so rare. I wish all men were like him.
There are plenty of men like him...maybe not as eloquent, but definitely as sensitive and intelligent. They just never get on tv or in the newspapers.
I wish all women were like him too, but hey, we've got what we've got
I’m glad all women aren’t like you. He’s pompous and emotionally abusive.
😂😂😂
I’m with you on that one. Not many men are woke and self-aware. The guy is a genius.
A compassionate and critical thinker on tv?? What a gem 💎
Trevorrrrr!!!!! 🎉🎉 I love his POV! The guest hosts are great but Trevor is like home! I pray his voice stays on a show, if not this show, another one. But we need his voice. Hoping he finds his home so we can watch and enjoy discussion!!
💯
I think he has a podcast on sportify.
Trevor is able to break these things down so well. An exemplary master communicator. Looking forward to more of him!
I think it's encouraging to see that these discussions are held by someone with as many viewers as Trevor Noah.
Thank you for having brave ideas like this and expressing them so eloquently.
Wow, this is so real and so deep 🥲. I couldn’t agree more. This is the entire shift that needs to happen to unite as people instead of divide us by gender.
I miss Trevor and the whole crew! Pay the writers and actors better and let's get back to normal already!
One of the things I love most about Trevor Noah is that he presents important and meaningful topics (like above) but manages to make it funny and interesting.
What a great level of Consciousness❤😊❤
Once again, Trevor speaking truth to power!! ✊✊✊
I love Trevor! 🫶🏻🫶🏻I love you all! Sending love and positivity your way.
Yesterday I was shopping when I passed a man standing outside a Walmart wearing a blindfold, arms open, and a sign in front of him that read, "I trust you. Do you trust me. Free hugs." Weird to see (but then, it was in front of a Walmart). It was kind of funny. At the same time, it seemed kind of sad. I mean, NOBODY would come near him. I actually thought about turning around and going back to hug him. I used the heat as an excuse not to, but really, how lame is that?
The guy's sign made a point of trust being an issue - which it is - and that we need to find a way to trust each other more. But as I sat here watching Trevor's commentary on men's lacking of intimacy and sharing, I thought back to that man and realized that intimacy issues have a lot to do with it, as well; perhaps even more. We need to feel close to each other, but lack of trust AND stereotypes about male intimacy are real obstacles. I mean, if it were a woman waiting for a hug, you can bet there would have been a line of guys waiting to hug her.
Maybe a woman could convince those guys to hug each other?
I think there was a social experiment I heard about with women doing something similar and they had to stop the experiment because men were starting to be...well, men...
I'm missing the context of when this hug me guy ran his "experiment." Was this before, during, or after the pandemic?
Honestly us women have so much on our plates already, should we really be expected to convince men to undo something they did to themselves? Like cmon we're exhausted 😮💨
@@_tripalong Since we don't live on different planets as men do, I think yes, we women can help the men in our network to open up a little more. If everyone only looks what's on their own plate, it gets really lonely.
@@Shishiochan
Except that’s not what she said. Women already take on tasks from others plates. Men can do it for once. Women should pick up after men or be forced to put themselves in dangerous positions.
I love how clever he is. The depth to him is what's lacking in my life and that void is unbearable
You are so right Trevor. Keep it going.
Love your wisdom and insight , way to go Trevor
The point about intimacy is spot on
To add to the conversation, because men have created these emotional boundaries with each other, women are often their only avenue for emotional outlet: which puts women, wives especially, in the therapist role whether she wants to be or not.
Often making these men repellent, IMO. In my experience, women prefer men that are there already, not ones who just need to be "mothered."
And you women need to stop opening up to us your problems are your own
@asrexproductions "There already"
That's the problem. They want the finished product without putting in the work. Pure entitlement. Hence why we end up closing ourselves off, because if we don't, then "we aren't there".
You’re speaking the truth brother
That last hug was so sweet ❤
I joined a cuddle group online and men were BEGGING me to meet them RIGHT NOW because they were so lonely.
This video is one of a kind. ❤ The daily show shows itself truly as a humanitarian place. Thank you to all the daily show team 🙏
Yes intimacy and affection are what’s really lacking!
So powerful. Thank you 🙏🕊️
Loved Trevor’s POV. Society needs more of these types of conversations, ideally facilitated in local community centers, variety of topics. And yeah TDS🤨ComedyCentral pay your writers
I'm glad I'm at a point in my life where I'm no longer expected to be sexually forward.
Peace.:)
the audience was laughing but he was dead serious :( really great points.
I loooove this. And how earnestly he brought this forward. Thank you, Trevor
Great show Noah and we would have a more peaceful, global society. Fathers are afraid to even hug their grown sons. There are places where men do not sit beside the driver or beside each other; in public transportations.
Really now. They are so incredibly insecure in their own sexualities that absolutely all external factors in existence seem to be able to throw them off to the point they get stuck in that strange protective mode, when in reality they're the physically sexually least threatene group of people! (°-°)
The numbers of men fearing peer contact but complaining to women for not enjoying and openly welcome contact with them is a double standard that remains quite baffling.
Maybe I should put this on my list of "is not negotiable": "Only qualifies as partner material if internally secure enough to be platonically intimate with his peers like we're all normal huma beings."
I love how he knows exactly what to say ❤
So true...well said❤️
Agreed! This is why I work and Coach men, this is such a great piece of content.🙏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽👏🏽🔥👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
❤ Love the insight. Thank you
I love him so much, these oponions are just pure gold ✨
Great video Trevor 👏🏽🎯🎤
This is so interesting and important, thank you for bringing it up
So true!!!!!!! I love you, Trevor!
So true...
So many people need to hear this. Not all of them will take it in but enough will.
Love this convo!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Love where you went with that!
Women have done a better job in creating an intimate space amongst each other - yes.
But it is often times also women who deny men that intimate space, because women often consciously or subconsciously want the man to be the strong archetype of emotional stability.
Therefore when a man does open up and wants to enter an intimate space with a woman, they more often than not will be romantically rejected by the woman they are opening up to. Yes, men need to find a way to create safe spaces amongst each other to share their emotions. But if it's a female life partner they are looking for, that woman has to change her view of masculinity and manhood as well.
And the chuckles of the audience throughout the monologue and its very deep and strong points are the prime example of the way a man's need for intimacy is viewed by society. It's a laughing stock.
Women haven't
That's why many, even this day prefer guy friends over lady friends
They rarely are great friends to each other
I love Trevor and miss him making me laugh out loud. I would like to know what he is up too now? So in the meantime I continue to watch what ever I can find.
We never talk about how a lot of men ARE vulnerable with each other and sensitive with each other, but it's not enough. Love, romance, and intimacy isn't just for friendships. And it gets really really burdensome feeling like no one is ever going to love you. No matter what you do, no matter how much "work" you put in, you're just a man - a monster, a pig, a dog. All you care about is sex. No matter how much you try to show a woman that you actually do care about her and who she is as a person and her feelings, while also acknowledging that, yes, sex is also important, the only thing they hear is that last part. And that's all they'll ever hear. And you'll just never be good enough. Why is it always that men need to hold each other and be intimate with each other? Why can we never acknowledge how powerful having a life partner, companion, and romance is? Why is it always we're only supposed to seek out friendships?
I keep coming back here.
What a gem😊
This is so important.
Trevor--here's something I bet your amazing Momma taught you that goes with this compelling conversation.
Grannies are here to provide love and and safe spaces for sharing. Honoring and including our elders means more hugs for everyone.
😂
💖💖💖
Trevor, I love you! Please come back and share your ideas again!
In Trevor Noah we believe ❤
Strongly agree 💯❤️
Thanks Trevor!!! ❤️💯🎯
Well said, Trevor. And I think it's pretty telling that the audience laughed at the suggestion men ask to be held. Sure, he's a comedian so they were primed for laughter, but still
not where i expected this to go but now im crying
Thanks Trevor. Excellent. Miss you on TV. ❤️
100% agreed with Trevor.
It should always be a Woman's right to choose who she talks to and what will happen after that. i think men need to do the same and show Love and Respect and Appreciation to all Women in Society and just tall things out.
sounds as if you don't consider men should show 'love and respect and appreciation' to other men in society and just tall things out. that is not the message Trevor was tryiong to convey
For purely social situations, women, men and the points in btw meaning PEOPLE should have the right to determine the level, degree, nature, frequency, substance of the contact, communication, interaction and dynamic that they have with other people. It should be 100% consensual, mutual and volitional. The right should exist without repercussions to w/draw from such interaction as it suits a person...except for professional, workplace or official duties like EMTs, firefighters, medical personnel etc.
@@victorpradha9946 truer words never spoken!
@@victorpradha9946 The prior for this to work is that all people come with the exact same expectations, that you should never commit because tomorrow the other person might change their mind. This is simply unreasonable, trust is built upon future expectations.
@@ZipMappTPractically speaking, the expectation functionally already is we are together until one of decides we're not. We're faithful to each other until one or both decide that's not important. We co-parent until someone (hopefully never happens) decides parenting ain't for them. We date/live together/see each/friends with benefits until one participant or both decide it's not working or that there's something that interests them more.
It's just that people impose expectations and feel the need to compel fruition of those expectations. That's when things go awry.
Huge plottwist here. Started with a clear thumbs down by just morally abusing some random twitter-BS just to look soo woke - and then, somehow, turned this to a point of real, deep relevancy for our community. Bow my head. Love u, bro. ;)
This made me cry, I love it
Well shared! 📝
Love you Trevor! To be deep and funny, the best combo
Very true 100% ..
Well said ❤
This was so necessary!!! 👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿
Thank you.
The problem is that no one has time to cultivate relationships and find intimacy. Everyone is working more and more for less and less. No one can afford to spend the time it takes to form intimate relationships. Maybe you get lucky and find one person, a spouse or a best friend but that's it for most people. That's all we have the resources for, and they only have so many resources for us, and sometimes not even that and that's where the loneliness epidemic is coming from. Adult relationships are hard.
Time is money, but that means money is time and 'ain't nobody got time for that.'
There is always time...but people rather spend that time doing other things. Instead of spending hours texting back & forth or so much time on social media watching videos and commenting...how about take that same time to pick up the phone or go out to get to know someone like we did before social media.
We as a society have made so much effort to make things virtual that there is no more human connection and that is what makes Adult relationships so harder now.....
Next to patriarchy, yes. But then again, capitalism is a system that exists within patriarchy.
Sounds like you are making excuses, maybe a little nervous and youre giving yourself an out? Or you need a different job, what is money worth if the only enjoying you get is paying for HBO and doordash? Talk to your neighbors, the best way to make real adult connections quick. Living nearby creates an automatic sense of togetherness, mutual things to complain and talk about and easy access with people who are usually in similar financial situations and age range.
@@CanYouKeepUp2K7 You know, you could have just called me and told me that rather than writing it all out. 😉
Beautiful conversation.
Brilliant commentary
Game. Set. Match. Thank you so much Trevor for putting it out there so eloquently. We, as men, should make this message a top priority to lower the bar for men to connect and reach out to one another.
This is a great point he makes. ❤
Miss this guy 🤜🏾🤛🏾
Trevor is brilliant!!! Love him!!!!
What a beautiful, thoughtful, lovely human.
This is so wholesome ❤
Brilliant thought for us as society ,not always can act on it with out being misunderstood , kind of sad but true
being held is so real!
Well said
Right on !!!!!!!!
It's hard to be vulnerable on the entire globe, we're a predatory society , only power and abuse of weakness
I heard that a human being needs 10 hugs (maybe it was five, maybe it was 20; I don't remember correctly) for a healthy life. Let's hug each other more.
EVEN THOUGH YU CAN GET YUR CLOWN ON TREV ,, YU HIT 🎯 THE BULLS EYE ON FIRE WITH THIS ONE 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿
Trevor is the best!!