What If You Have Never Felt Safe?
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- What If You Have Never Felt Safe?
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I didn’t even realise my body was majorly tense just laying in bed until he mentioned relaxing the body. So I went limp and my toothache went away, lol. Wasn’t expecting that. Seems like tense is something I am all the time unless I’m actively trying not to be. Thanks for the video Dan, helpful as always.
If we could drop the ‘pain-word’ out of the pain- free me then you end up with: free-me.
Free and safe in every aspect of life.
I realized that with holding on to my old tragic story, life would always show up for me in that old familiar tragic mode because that’s what the brain does, returning to my old habits.
Isn’t it wonderful that we have the conscious power to convince the scared unsafe unconscious that we are ok now and that all that old misery can stop now..?
For me it is..
Lovely sunny weather in France today, after days of pouring rain.
Gonna breath that sun in and create a safe positive day( s)..
Thanks for the compassionate talk Dan!
Wish you and everyone a safe and good weekend!🤗🙏💕💕💕
Thank you for your insightful and great comments. I appreciate you.
Have lived with Agoraphobia and panic attacks (stuck in fight and flight)on/off for the last 30years. 6 months ago I was assaulted. I sustained a complicated spiral fracture. After the break, my brain went somewhere else, (true fight or flight)everything slowed down and my hearing and focus sharpened and a voice in my head gave me instructions on what to do next. Assess the situation, walk backwards, don't put your back to these people, get to your car. Meanwhile my arm was hanging and the sensations were causing nausea. However the silver lining was I was then able to see the difference between PDP panic attacks and life threatening ones. They maybe first cousins but there's definitely a difference.
What a wild ride PB. Thrilled to have you on the journey with this community.
Some circumstances in my life caused me to be a scared little girl. I see clearly how, why, I carried that emotion with me through most of my life. What an eye opener, Dan. Thank you sincerely 🤍
My pleasure Cindy.
@@PainFreeYou ❤️
Dan, this has got to be one of your best videos! You laid it all out there! And it is so true! I am finding out that when you engage in almost anything instead of trying to manage or prevent or think about your symptoms you start to feel better and safer. Safety is the answer! If you’re having insomnia, it’s because your brain isn’t feeling safe!
This just gave me ahaa moment the truth all my life have been with emotionally unstable people and disfunctional family so i was in fight and flight always until i was hit by cancer 10 yrs ago and after that chronic pain anxiety and panic attacks. You nailed it describing me thank you so much.
Sorry you had to go through that. The great news is that despite how you got "here", you can teach your brain that you are safe now to eliminate the pain, anxiety and panic attacks.
This resonates for me. I can't remember what it's like to feel safe in my body.
Me too. I so get that
Same here. Certainly can’t feel it, and now the memories are fading.
I'm stuck in fight flight too all day long it's exhausting and never felt safe and now even less than ever as family all grown up and gone. Anxiety is crippling to live with and stolen my life. Feels like adrenaline and cortisol coursing through my body all day long and all the what if's of is this gonna kill me as such a stain on the body. Feeling very very fearful and scared every day 😢
Me too, stay strong ❤
I get it. But where does your fear reside?
czcams.com/video/9myczEakHhs/video.html
It has taken a TON of work for me to even realize that my default "setting" for over 65 yrs is anxiety and fear. Education and information are helpful but getting beyond the symptoms generated by the brain takes a lot of application work.
@donnabronner4837
Have you tried many things Donna that have helped you?
Takes consistency to teach the brain we are indeed safe.
Love this video I can see so clearly now working on my TMS Recovery that I have been scared my whole life because of the way I grewup in such a dysfunctional and chaotic family. I was always so scared even of my own shadow and my husband/daughter would ask Mommy why are you always so scared? I would say I really don’t know why maybe the way I grewup? But now I truly understand why. Safety is the answer and I’m getting better understanding TMS/PDP! Dan & Coaching Calls is helping me get back that Safety! Thank you 🙏
Thank you for sharing your experience and insights Annie.
Dear Annie, Thank you for sharing about your lack of safety experience. I can see a lot of me in what you have described. I hope that you are finding more safety a year down the track from commenting.
This isn't the first video of yours that I've watched. I just wanted to say I really appreciate you taking the time to make these videos, and I value exactly how you do it. Relaxed. Informal.
You have to realize, many of us need to experience a calm, empathetic, mature white man talking to us, in a helpful and forgiving manner. That in itself, you showing up as you and doing this, is healing for many of us.
I wasn't raised with a dad. I'm also trans and recently transitioned. I really value finding men's voices to listen to and be guided by their wisdom.
Stay regulated 🩵✌️
These daily videos are a godsend. They are just the right length. I have no excuse to not just pop one on a day and I get so much out of them. Thank you 🙏🏻
Glad you enjoy it!
For sure fear drove many or all of us to seek control. The diagnoses, fixes, tests, ‘healing journey’, treatments, ‘just being careful’, ‘runs in my family’, ‘everyone over 40’, ‘gotta be safe’, etc offered the illusion we would finally relax. Obviously not. 😊 But that will always be the selling point to those who are freaked out. When I realized I made it all up and recruited ‘experts’ to agree, I cried. These fantasy worlds we create rob us of living.
Very very true. But reality awaits. And it's a good one.
@@PainFreeYou I love that! Wow!
I have been in Fear nearly my whole life! It is a Family Legacy! And there are many suicides. This has been a very eye-opening realization. I am nearly paralyzed with Fear as I sit here! Thank You..Dan! Now I can Do something about changing my viewpoint. 😅
Wishing you strength to convince your brain. You can do it.
@@1STBUCKLEY Thank You! I am certainly going to try!
Thrilled to be able to help Kathleen.
Looking back there have only been a few years where I can say I felt safe. Different times back then. Armed with knowledge onwards we can all march. Thanks
Right on
Wow… I never really thought about it, I think most of my life I have not felt safe ..🥺😔
Been better since watching your videos and helping my body feel safer, thank you..🙏🏼 still some life fears there, I have hope..💜💜
There's always hope.
🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼💜
Thank you Dan, this was really helpful, was reassuring to hear that. So grateful I found you🙏💙
My pleasure Kelly.
Living, not fixing.
I need that quote as a beautiful plaque, it speaks to me. Thank you. 🌺🦋🌲😘
I would like that plaque too! haha
Thank you as somene who hasn't felt safe since my childhood it makes sense how my brain thinks of unrealisitic ways to be safe. In life like you said there is no 100% safety that any of us will feel it's a risk no matter how safe we play it, but thankfullly there are ways to work these difficulties.
My fast start playlist is a great place to begin:
czcams.com/play/PLRJmnkn2kTTIl4frNvmpenr49xcTmVl2H.html
Thanks Dan no matter what video I click on it has a calming effect for me x
I’ve never felt safe x
❤ You described me to a T, Dan..as usual. Oh those yawns are contagious! Lol! I haven’t ever felt safe in my life! It’s a totally new concept, but the possibility excites me!
I appreciate you giving me this possibility! I tried all of my growing up years to earn the love and approval of my abusive stepfather. Forgiving him set me free, and I divorced him from my life 30 some years ago. That decision set me free! Dan, how would I reach out to you? Email? Messenger? There’s something I’d like your advice on, but haven’t wanted to bother you knowing you’re extremely busy with Mom. Even though I know it’s been your pleasure and joy to help/be with your Mama! What a wonderful son you are! Bless you and thank you, Dan!
There's a "contact" form on my website PainFreeYou.com. Reach me there.
@@PainFreeYou Thanks a bunch!
Easier said than done...CPTSD is not that cut n dry.
Meditation ...changing the narrative...getting sleep..addressing the trauma....empowering ourselves ..facing our abusers...?🙏😔
If those things create a feeling of safety, I'm all for it. There's no downside to the consistent messages of safety I teach. czcams.com/video/5SsKnAgAvnY/video.html
Thank you for caring and showing us every day how not to fear, and be safe, developing a technik and ruteen deffenetly takes practice 🕊⭐
Great video! This guy gets it. ❤🙏
Another timely video, Dan. I can’t thank you enough for these daily videos and you are so kind and so generous to do them. Hope to be joining your coaching group soon
My pleasure! We'll be here when you are ready.
Thank you! Your Presence is so calming and loving, it helps me so much.
You are so welcome
Love you Dan am 85 will never give up believing I can leave this place of chronic pain anxiety,look great feel like hell.can you feel worse while getting better?
The journey is up and down. Perceived danger determines the amount of pain. czcams.com/video/tnU6KBAv5fg/video.html
Thank you Dan! 🙏☺️
I really like this video message. Thank you Dan.
Haha I caught your yawn! Thanks Dan...good clip. 👍
Haha - sorry about that. Have had a nutso schedule for almost two months which has kept me yawning.
Simply brilliant. Thank you!
Thank you.
I have a question. I’m already working on my stress response for a while. The biggest problem is, that my actual situation is not really „save“ at the moment. I’m on a good way to change my life to be much better but I have to go through some very demanding situations first. I know how important it is to calm myself down and breathing calmly is a good way but here’s the problem: when it’s a really stressful period (like right now) i have problems with breathing. It feels like not getting enough air in my lungs. It’s also not like a panic attack. It lasts for days or weeks. I had my lungs checked so I know that it’s not a physical issue. The worst thing about it is when I try to focus on relaxed breathing, like you recommend, it gets worse. Right now this feeling was even triggered by focusing on breathing. Is this a known issue and is there a way how i can manage this?
Yes, stop "trying" to breathe. Relax your body and ALLOW yourself to breathe. Breathing is not something you have to do proactively. A relaxed body will allow you to breathe. I know the breath is the symptom for you. Take that off the table. There are many ways to teach your brain you are safe.
czcams.com/video/5SsKnAgAvnY/video.html
You are amazing
Thank you.
@@PainFreeYou Dan do you do discovery calls?
@@mariannesmiley300 Unfortunately No, there isn't enough time to speak with everyone who wants a call with me. However, I do have resources where you can determine if your symptoms are TMS/PDP or not. This seems to be what most people want to find out by speaking with me.
The best place to begin is my getting started page. Watch the first two videos on the page and do the two assessments. The pain test and the FIT assessment.
www.PainFreeYou.com/start
And if you believe your symptoms are created by the brain (most are) then the fastest way to move forward is my course and group coaching program. www.PainFreeYou.com/join
Thanks for this!
My pleasure!
I feel feel feel for you. But, what if you don't feel safe from imprisonment by your own government?
We cannot ensure universal safety and we don't need to to end TMS/PDP symptoms. We can still teach the brain that we don't have to hurt or have symptoms because of the stress of the world. czcams.com/video/twNl7iv4K0Y/video.html
Love your talksdan!curiostho what makes you yawn so much?
Many of these videos are recorded after a 12 hour day and it's evening time before I can record them. My life has been quite crazy since my mom had her stroke the end of September. Between work and Mom, I've been putting in 70-80 hour weeks.
🤚❤
I don't know why my name is all weird on the comment I left ??
I don't see what you are referring to. Your name looks fine.