How to Weaken the Hold of Addiction

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  • čas přidán 20. 06. 2024
  • The triggers for addictive behaviours are always rooted in painful, self-critical emotions.
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    FURTHER READING
    “Many of us are prey to addictive behaviours which we know run contrary to our deeper interests but which we find ourselves entirely unable to desist from at key moments.
    Let’s pick three of these:
    - Bulimia
    - Porn addiction
    - Alcoholism
    We will appreciate, as soon as we come out of the tunnel of addiction, that we have neglected our interests and harmed ourselves. And yet we are at a loss as to what we might do. What, if anything, could help?
    One kind of answer is this: we should try to notice when the desire to regurgitate food or watch porn or drink strikes us.
    Though this might sound strange, those in the grip of addictions seldom do notice. They don’t pay much attention to what has immediately happened before their desires strike; it doesn’t occur to them that anything has…”
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    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Provincia Studio
    / provinciastudio
    Title animation produced in collaboration with
    Vale Productions
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Komentáře • 574

  • @l.z.6553
    @l.z.6553 Před rokem +89

    for sure. whenever i get that urge to gamble or to drink, it's usually because i feel bored, sad, lonely or stressed. then it also feels comfy to self sabotage.

  • @mercenaryeyes
    @mercenaryeyes Před rokem +91

    Today i decided to quit watching porn, and i was so close to give up and then this video came up on my screen, its been so long i feel unworthy, alone and sad but i never demanded help, idk why but i feel like i encourage myself to going even deeper than rock bottom but more importantly i always find myself OUT OF CONTROL thats the part which hurts me the most.
    Your video definitely helped me alot thank you for being the best school of life.

    • @Keshiaaa
      @Keshiaaa Před rokem +5

      Porn is so destructive to yourself and especially your partner or future partner. It ruined my life-

    • @Keshiaaa
      @Keshiaaa Před rokem +3

      You can do it! Or use it moderately! Learn about human sexuality ❤️ you’re not unworthy-

    • @maesemenese
      @maesemenese Před rokem +3

      Keep fighting the good fight, brother.

  • @JSFGuy
    @JSFGuy Před rokem +670

    It's that time again.

  • @dimlighty
    @dimlighty Před rokem +482

    Summary (4:56):
    The route to stopping addictive behavior is,
    • To ask oneself how one is feeling
    • Realize one is probably feeling very bad
    • Grow curious about and sympathetic to the causes
    • And then ask, "What would be a better, kinder way of handling this sense of awfulness?"
    Knowing that there is room and love for the feeling that provokes addiction is the key to weakening the hold of and one day overcoming of what we're addicted to.

    • @philipthomas3938
      @philipthomas3938 Před rokem +6

      Last paragraph isn't clear/ doesn't make sense to me...

    • @DrSearingstar
      @DrSearingstar Před rokem +4

      @@philipthomas3938 One day "Overcoming" not Of a coming

    • @abdirinoahash5251
      @abdirinoahash5251 Před rokem +1

      Thanks ❤

    • @hsaqib8995
      @hsaqib8995 Před rokem +1

      Thank you.

    • @fishslappr
      @fishslappr Před 10 měsíci +1

      And how do you "know there is room and love for the feeling" when you consistently and dogmaticappy get the opposite info from the world.

  • @Jhawk_2k
    @Jhawk_2k Před rokem +528

    I've been using two questions from a Ted talk:
    1. Is this thought useful
    2. How is this thought behaving?
    It allows you to detach quite quickly and smoothly from negative self talk

    • @spacerboi
      @spacerboi Před rokem +10

      Behaving in what sense?

    • @-Sean_
      @-Sean_ Před rokem +11

      ​@@spacerboi I think like is it active for you or against you? Is it positive or negative etc

    • @ardidsonriente2223
      @ardidsonriente2223 Před rokem +31

      Only problem with this strategy is the negative feelings and impulses often present themselves whithout proper thoughts, much less any "talk". They assume the form of "facts", "ways of life" or "personality traits"... Its way harder to spot and stop them when they have become a normal part of your landscape.

    • @dimlighty
      @dimlighty Před rokem +2

      Which Ted talk? Please share.

    • @brwnipoints
      @brwnipoints Před rokem +18

      ​@@ardidsonriente2223 that's because you become so used to them that you don't notice them anymore like you would with a new thought that you've never had before. That is why mindfulness, meditation and cognitive behavioural therapy are such powerful tools because they help you notice those unhelpful thought patterns again and stop them before they happen

  • @Job.Well.Done_01
    @Job.Well.Done_01 Před rokem +19

    A lot of people are hurting out there and I’m so sorry 😢

  • @trevscribbles
    @trevscribbles Před rokem +284

    Literally since this morning, with the help of prescribed Librium, I've been drying-out again since my first relapse due to alcoholism. It's still too early for me to feel remotely positive about this decision as I'm withdrawing, but this video popped-up at a very apt time for me.

    • @edirnt
      @edirnt Před rokem +15

      stay strong, you can do it, you got this

    • @Leo-mr1qz
      @Leo-mr1qz Před rokem +17

      I quit drinking 6 years ago. I was a horrible binge drinker. When I drank the flashbacks went away for a moment, the feeling of unworthiness disappeared for half a second, and the nawing feeling of dread from day to day responsibilities vanished for a heartbeat.
      I've found that the way to "get over" alcoholism is to find something higher than yourself that you are responsible for. Taking on that responsibility, and giving it your all. I stopped when my father developed dementia. My daughters were very young. Both of them needed an adult to be present. They inadvertently saved my life. I quit one day. I had a couple relapses, but I took up weight training, to distract me from the moments of utter dismay and self loathing. I'm not saying that part goes away, but my vice is different now.
      Good luck. Ake care of yourself, because you are WORTH it❣
      You can do it! 🥇

    • @trevscribbles
      @trevscribbles Před rokem +8

      @@Leo-mr1qz Thanks for the encouraging words. I was sober for 10 weeks and 4 days before my relapse. It doesn't sound like much but even though I've already managed it I can't fathom that long right now. It's going to be moment by moment for now. But thank you

    • @Leo-mr1qz
      @Leo-mr1qz Před rokem +11

      @@trevscribbles 10 weeks, that's Fantastic! That's a long time.
      As you know, it's just a day to day basis type of ride.
      Take care of yourself. 💜

    • @mymomsayshi
      @mymomsayshi Před rokem +7

      Best of luck, dont give up giving up and be kind to yourself. You got this

  • @nancyaustin9516
    @nancyaustin9516 Před 11 měsíci +15

    "Almost certainly in early life no one had much sympathy or the remotest bit of interest in our feelings of loss, self-hatred and abandonment--that's why we find it so hard to get interested in them ourselves." I love that thought--it's so true.

  • @AnObOdyGuY
    @AnObOdyGuY Před 10 měsíci +3

    A therapist taught me the most common triggers in an acronym B.L.A.A.S.T (bored, lonely, angery, anxious, sad, tired)

  • @CuriosityIgnited
    @CuriosityIgnited Před rokem +126

    Recognizing the emotional triggers behind addictive behavior is crucial in breaking the cycle. The emphasis on self-compassion, understanding, and slowing down to truly analyze our emotions is enlightening. It's important to remember that we can replace addiction with healthier coping mechanisms and that there is love and room for growth in overcoming our struggles. To anyone else battling addiction, remember that you are not alone, and that understanding the root causes can be a powerful step towards recovery.

    • @heineidk
      @heineidk Před rokem

      I’ve been a stoner for almost three years now. my life started to swing in that direction after realizing how every member of the family got their lives missed up somehow after our dad died so i decided to join the club😂 I guess some people are just meant to fuck up and die in the amidst of their sins. some people are too far away to be fixed so letting natural take it course is ideal

    • @metsrus
      @metsrus Před 10 měsíci

      @@heineidk well the old man would be rolling in his grave if knew his death led to that.

  • @sebastianwaukazoo104
    @sebastianwaukazoo104 Před 10 měsíci +6

    Porn,masturbation,video games and gore (yes violent gore content) im 23 and realizing now that since I’ve been doing these unhealthy habits since a young age 13 I always felt like a lower class being and never until now how to love my self. I watched this and a Jordan Peterson video and I cried my eyes out. I have so much emotional build up that I feel I’m at a tipping point. Where I keep hurting the one I love so dearly because of my nasty habits, she still loves me and says it but I just have more self hate then love it’s hard to really get there or believe it but now I feel my eyes are open and I’ve felt more emotion than I’ve felt in months. I’m human and I know that now I’m not an auto pilot machine I have to love myself in order to truly love someone.

  • @kanishkkun
    @kanishkkun Před rokem +66

    I pray and hope that we all loosen the grip of our addictions and eventually set ourselves free ☮️

  • @kellykang2684
    @kellykang2684 Před rokem +42

    I heavily struggled with an eating disorder. A sense of impeding doom, the constant voices in my head, telling me I was not worthy of love if I ate was impossible for me to comprehend at such a young age. Eating is nourishment but rather in my addictive state of mind, it was punishment. A punishment I self-imposed over and over again.
    A pivotal event I so intensely remember is my mind spiraled down so deep, it reached the point far beyond daily coping. That moment to me was life or death. So slowly, I decided to try living again, frankly because thought, if I died and had gone to hell and it was EXACTLY like this now, eternally, I did not want to be there.
    We are all addicts to something, some labelled as "healthy" and some not, but when it becomes a pattern where it disrupts what is actually important in life such as self-compassion and loving the ever-so-small amount of people who can call family and friends, it should be re-visited. Human experience is to find peace in the mundane and balance in chaos, that we call life.

  • @cameronis8089
    @cameronis8089 Před rokem +20

    As a porn addict who, like many of us, feels lonely all too often, this video really helps.

  • @Brilliant_Smoke
    @Brilliant_Smoke Před rokem +66

    This is one of the best schools on earth. Love from 🇿🇼

  • @SearchOfSelf
    @SearchOfSelf Před rokem +48

    Addiction runs deep, but so does the power to overcome it. Someone close to me struggled with their demons for years, but with patience, self-reflection, and a lot of hard work, they were able to break free. Keep strong! ♥

    • @bleakaf
      @bleakaf Před 11 měsíci +4

      A friend of mine who has struggled since teenage with alcohol and drugs is now free for two years, and the difference in him is amazing. AA has been invaluable, and the compassion he shows himself now is beautiful to see. So glad your friend is doing better too

  • @dampierre99
    @dampierre99 Před rokem +14

    For my entire life I wish I could've been addicted to my passion rather than something I know is destroying me

    • @youtubename7819
      @youtubename7819 Před rokem

      What feels bad about your passion? Are you afraid of being disappointed if you do commit? Has something made you doubt your ability?

  • @aitordotco
    @aitordotco Před rokem +23

    As a person that has been fighting with addictions for years, I think this information is very well put

  • @arielsong1289
    @arielsong1289 Před rokem +18

    I was trying/struggling to understand my best friend's addiction to alcohol and drugs before watching this video. I used to think she was insane and ridiculous, as I assumed people should be able to control their behaviors fully. Now I think it's because she has been through something horrible that I was fortunate enough to not have been though (loss of her loved ones when she was very young, and didn't get the support she needed, and other stuff..)
    Huge thank you to TSoLfor sharing your perspective and insights, so that I can be more compassionate to her feelings and be supportive in the right way. And thanks to everyone in the comment section, your sharing of personal stories and vulnerability help me learn what it's like to suffer from addictions. I might call her later....❤️

  • @laurensbabushka
    @laurensbabushka Před rokem +70

    This video came at a good time. I had a talk with my partner the other night about how I know I shouldn't drink, but I don't know what else to do. It feels like I've tried everything. My life is too chaotic right now to make time for other forms of decompression. Towards the end of our conversation, I realized all I wanted him to do is hold me in those moments and see me as someone who was deeply upset and needing comfort. I hope he's able to do that next time and I hope it helps. Thanks for this video, I hope the reminder helps keep me on track ❤

    • @Jhawk_2k
      @Jhawk_2k Před rokem +7

      I feel this, except I don't have that person to comfort me. It's a self perpetuating cycle that is difficult to manage alone. I hope you're able to build a more healthy relationship around drinking

    • @-Sean_
      @-Sean_ Před rokem +4

      Sounds like your on a right track Lauren. From one addict to another, I wish you luck

    • @skemsen
      @skemsen Před rokem +4

      Thanks for sharing this. Should one say out loud having a need for just being held? Could be yet another trigger to be rejected or misunderstood. Too risky perhaps 😳🤷‍♂️

  • @capimsi7
    @capimsi7 Před 10 měsíci +4

    Love how you conceptualize addiction as a symptom of deeper, underlying pain

  • @gc2009able
    @gc2009able Před rokem +6

    My primary addiction stems from ADHD-related dopamine deficit and desensitization. The "intolerable discomfort" that my addiction remedies is neurological, often as simple as boredom/under-stimulation, and the addiction is one of quick-fixes that has become habitual and self-harming.

  • @fleurskitchen
    @fleurskitchen Před rokem +88

    I think masturbation is big in the addiction category. It’s usually triggered by something pornographic and it is widely accepted yet I think it does way more harm than good to the soul. I realise it is usually coming from shame for me, may be shame of seeing something or witnessing something. Which is weird because you witness something you are ashamed of, then what you do makes you feel more ashamed. It’s a snake eating it’s own tail.

  • @joshuaharrison9331
    @joshuaharrison9331 Před rokem +20

    I'm a 12 stepper & for me no amount of self insight could touch the edges on my addiction. For a whole host of reasons, working the steps was the solution.

    • @bleakaf
      @bleakaf Před 11 měsíci +2

      Glad 12 steps has been a big help for you. Acceptance and commitment therapy, which resembles 12 steps in some ways, can be really valuable as an extra tool, or those reading this that AA isn't appropriate for too. Have a great day

  • @ChrisZamundo-wp5bl
    @ChrisZamundo-wp5bl Před 11 měsíci +5

    I’ve recently been on a diet and exercise for the past 4 weeks and it has completely changed everything when it comes to physical and mental well being, I smoked ,watched porn ,ate junk and generally didn’t do much when I wasn’t at work in the past but now it’s all changing, whenever I look in the mirror I know I’m slacking in one area of my body so I’ll do a workout to target it , after a day or two it slowly gets toned and the feeling of having control of your body in that small way has a tremendous impact on your brain, you feel like you can do anything and the exercise just plain feels good, and I’ve noticed I don’t crave junk food or porn or smoking that much at all which is so damn crazy from just eating meat and veggies and walking for 30 minutes and doing light weight lifting for 30 minutes a day or every other day!, please if you’re reading this please stop eating so much trash (it’s ok to have a cheat day once a week ) and start walking an hour a day or as much as you can a day , if you’re too sore then take a break and try to not eat much on a non exercise day , let your body heal and repeat, your life will change I promise!

  • @leightonolsson4846
    @leightonolsson4846 Před rokem +10

    Unfortunately with shame of being addicted is one of the greatest triggers and therefore the addiction can become a self propagating cycle

  • @artisticcreature
    @artisticcreature Před rokem +18

    TSOL you have no idea how many lives you have saved. I'm one of those. Thank you so much for making such valuable content.

  • @nizasiamehenry
    @nizasiamehenry Před rokem +28

    Thank you to the crew for ensuring that we have an episode every Wednesday!

    • @theschooloflifetv
      @theschooloflifetv  Před rokem +18

      Thank you - there is a team of very brilliant and hardworking people behind every film!

    • @xhv222
      @xhv222 Před rokem

      ​@@theschooloflifetv I would like to work for you someday ❤

    • @nicolaiqbal6823
      @nicolaiqbal6823 Před rokem +1

      Yes thank you for all the work ❤

  • @Inevitable.Change
    @Inevitable.Change Před rokem +18

    As someone with OCD, I do everything to the extreme; education, job, hobbies, food regulation. All of it is painful and exhausting. I gave it all up a few months ago and have been obsessive about more unhealthy things and its turned into an addiction. I can't do anything.

    • @whitepouch0904
      @whitepouch0904 Před rokem

      Same with me. I have ADHD just recently diagnosed but I’ve known it for years. I probably have OCD too and autism. I’m still talking about it with my doc. The problem with me is if I’m given the right amount of time spending onto something I could get very obsessive and hyper-fixated about it. Even cleaning house and laundry triggers my obsession and hyperfixation that I don’t do them regularly now.

    • @cristianalaura481
      @cristianalaura481 Před rokem +1

      Good news is OCD is curable. Oh God, it is hell but i got out of it. If you are ready for battle you will overcome.

  • @sergioazor496
    @sergioazor496 Před rokem +3

    I have been addicted to evasion through the internet in all its facets, so as not to be with my thoughts and emotions. I realized that lazing around and not filling the silence with random impulses is a luxury that we have decided to lose with these powerful technologies. So I have limited my own access to the Internet, marking an access time and buying an old phone to supply the basic functions.

  • @camloch
    @camloch Před rokem +51

    I'm addicted to marijuana because, even with therapy, I'm stressed and quite upset all the time for various different reasons. It's very difficult for me to tune out or redirect the triggers or thoughts that cause the stress, whereas weed always has. But the issues my addiction has caused have come to outweigh the benefits, so I'm trying to find different solutions.

    • @vloggerk80
      @vloggerk80 Před rokem +19

      If it helps, I had this same issue and the weed ended up being the thing causing me stress!

    • @pfb74
      @pfb74 Před rokem +1

      ​@@vloggerk80 say thattt

    • @user-sq6vq2mt7u
      @user-sq6vq2mt7u Před rokem +3

      First accept all your bullshits. That's the begin. calm, brave, recognize, accept

    • @Alexii18
      @Alexii18 Před rokem +3

      My doctor told marijuana isn’t addictive, but habit forming???

    • @nolowlo2i
      @nolowlo2i Před 10 měsíci

      @@Alexii18 It's not very physically addictive, like heroin or alcohol would be, but it can be profoundly psychologically addicting, especially very potent forms of cannabis. Your doctor is mistaken, it is absolutely addictive for some people.

  • @herculesrockefeller8969
    @herculesrockefeller8969 Před rokem +6

    I'm addicted to watching The School of Life videos.

  • @tavherzlich3468
    @tavherzlich3468 Před rokem +1

    This channel is just pure gold.

  • @soumyamaradonaghosh6257
    @soumyamaradonaghosh6257 Před rokem +5

    I find myself preparing mentally before watching the videos made by School of Life. I am a student of music therapy and I am keenly aware of how hard one has to work to confront their childhood traumas. Processing these feelings and being kind to oneself can be challenging for so many individuals. Thank you so much for the wonderful content!

  • @JUMPstyle751
    @JUMPstyle751 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Took 4 months of therapy to come up with the same explanations as this 3 minute video.. you guys at the school of life are incredible and I hope you keep doing this sorta work

  • @orderingfoodwgoogledoxesu3113

    The most proven way to beat an addiction is to be active in a community and to attain a sense of belonging

  • @craigmerkey8518
    @craigmerkey8518 Před rokem +2

    OMG this is so stunningly accurate, simple, and useful! Amazing ❣

  • @infinitebeing21
    @infinitebeing21 Před rokem +2

    This is one of the best videos on addiction that I've ever seen.

  • @girlhag
    @girlhag Před rokem +2

    this one hit extra hard! a pleasure as always to watch

  • @ruiqingqiu9010
    @ruiqingqiu9010 Před rokem +19

    Bulimia and alcoholism have been destroying me and I just can’t get out of it. Feel ashamed to even talk to anyone about it. I’m trying everything, seeing psychiatrist, learning philosophy, doing yoga and meditation everyday. But it still happens almost everyday and I sometimes wish I’m dead. I’m so ashamed.

    • @laurag5526
      @laurag5526 Před rokem +5

      Don‘t feel ashamed! Thanks to videos like this one, we know where our bad/unhealthy habits stem from. Everybody is suffering in one way or another ❤

    • @sla1xyz
      @sla1xyz Před rokem +3

      You didn't choose your coping mechanisms. It's not your fault. You're worthy of getting help. You can't keep carrying all of this on your own as it keeps you trapped in a cycle of self destruction. There are other therapies such as EMDR or the daily practice that don't involve talk therapy if you find that to make things worse. ❤

    • @pfb74
      @pfb74 Před rokem +1

      Thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable. You're capable of much more than you recognize, tap into that.
      I'm glad you're still alive and keep on fighting the good fight, you got this.

    • @ericb8413
      @ericb8413 Před rokem +1

      Sending you a hug. And a prayer.

    • @sandrag330
      @sandrag330 Před rokem +2

      I wish I was never born. I'll pray for us 🙏

  • @TheSonOfPlato
    @TheSonOfPlato Před rokem +15

    Perfect timing ❤

  • @bboyneon92
    @bboyneon92 Před rokem +1

    Thank you.
    This is long awaited.

  • @highspeedtarantado
    @highspeedtarantado Před rokem +2

    This almost teared me up, I wish this video existed when I was struggling in porn addiction AND I SO MISSED YOUR VOICE IN EVERY VIDEO IT'S SO CALMING AND UNDERSTANDING. I'm very thankful about learning in this channel really gave me more insights and understand better, really great video !!

  • @thequaintguardian
    @thequaintguardian Před rokem +13

    Interesting Freudian analysis with the point about roots in childhood. That's if you subscribe to psychoanalysis. But boiling all triggers down to feeling upset and hurt might be a bit too simplistic. There are other triggers like curiosity, arousal, and boredom which require other counter measures than those listed in this video.

    • @Benny-yh4pr
      @Benny-yh4pr Před rokem

      What would be a counter measure for boredom for example?

    • @thequaintguardian
      @thequaintguardian Před rokem +4

      ​​​@@Benny-yh4pr Personally, a solution I've found useful is to immediately occupy or distract myself with a more healthy activity such as watching CZcams videos. YT's recommendation system is pretty gd at guessing what we're interested in so there are usually videos that make me want to click right on the home page.
      Other activities include going to the gym, listening to podcasts, watching anime, etc. I've found the trick is to immediately replace the addictive activity with another interesting activity so it gives my mind something else to latch on to. If the alternative activity takes place in a different location from the addictive activity, even better. So it's a form of behavioural therapy if you like.

  • @jeantourage420
    @jeantourage420 Před rokem +5

    Needed this right now. Thank you 🙏

  • @damariusgriffin
    @damariusgriffin Před rokem +2

    This is very insightful. Currently in treatment and definitely going to recommend this video at my next group.
    Thank you so much.

  • @dupontfra
    @dupontfra Před rokem +1

    Excellent quality ! Short, clear, and probably efficient, I'll try it, anyway !!
    Thanks a lot !

  • @kartikg9970
    @kartikg9970 Před rokem +2

    Thank you so much for this video! You guys are amazing!

  • @arnoldoquintanilla1826

    School of life has saved my life. These videos have helped me change my life in ways I never thought I could. I wish you all the best, and I hope you are all able to break free from addiction! 💪🏼

  • @mouhamedboudjahem
    @mouhamedboudjahem Před rokem

    I swear this is the most insightful CZcams channel outhere

  • @harshjc1319
    @harshjc1319 Před rokem +5

    Very beautifully brought out message!!! Thank you so much for sharing this, it will surely help lots of people fight their addiction:)

  • @timh3870
    @timh3870 Před rokem

    Thanks for all the videos in the last 5 years I've been watching. Great help to explore my mind deeper, ask why i am... and learned to laugh at myself & humanity more.
    Thanks again.

  • @farhadniaz732
    @farhadniaz732 Před rokem +2

    This channel is really useful! Thanks for the informative video! 👍

  • @FROGMANTURBONERDZ
    @FROGMANTURBONERDZ Před rokem +2

    This couldn’t have been better put ❤

  • @farinshore8900
    @farinshore8900 Před rokem +2

    Well done video, and proper perspective on defining the problem.

  • @nias3202
    @nias3202 Před rokem +1

    That's a very helpful approach! Thank you. Sometimes in those moments I'm not able to sit down and reflect. Then I often listen to music or TSOL videos to find more calm.

  • @AP-kj6lq
    @AP-kj6lq Před rokem +4

    You've explained the solution in the most layman language possible
    Makes so much sense
    Well explained ❤👏👏

  • @annettecalandriello1123
    @annettecalandriello1123 Před rokem +1

    Best one yet,God bless you.

  • @fiaxne
    @fiaxne Před rokem +1

    really needed this one rn 🛐

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  Před rokem +149

    If you don’t mind sharing, what have you been addicted to? And what feelings were you trying to escape from? Let us know in the comments

    • @joemahma3017
      @joemahma3017 Před rokem +75

      Meth. Childhood sexual/psychological abuse. The death of my mother, followed by the suicide of my eldest sister a month later, followed by my wife of 12 years leaving me 2 weeks after that. She said I was pathetic and she couldn’t be with a man whose gonna lie in bed and cry all day.

    • @kratomleaf8937
      @kratomleaf8937 Před rokem +102

      masturbation, the feeling of anxiety, and it felt like i've failed my parents. been fighting this demon since junior high school, now im in college no matter what i did it's always ground zero every few days

    • @discopumps
      @discopumps Před rokem +43

      Smoking weed. I find it so hard to sleep without it. When I get pregnant I always swear I will never start again but then I just slowly slowly get back into smoking to fall asleep. I suffer from terrible insomnia and live in a place where I can’t get adequate mental health care. (Edit: and don’t like taking chemical sleep inducers incase one of my children need me in the night)

    • @insaiyan634
      @insaiyan634 Před rokem +36

      Alcohol. Started at 19 im now 27 i want to be rid of this burden

    • @lolborq
      @lolborq Před rokem +40

      weed, masturbation/porn, gaming. my vices but also the things keeping me alive rn. so tough.

  • @sakshyambhandari4501
    @sakshyambhandari4501 Před rokem +1

    Thank you school of life

  • @troy8063
    @troy8063 Před rokem +2

    Perfect timing

  • @kentinpitout4245
    @kentinpitout4245 Před rokem +1

    Very hands-on solution. A lot more practical than previous material posted on the channel. Keep it up, SOL! :D

  • @editorjeannie2318
    @editorjeannie2318 Před rokem

    Wonderful video - thank you!

  • @jbrpfan
    @jbrpfan Před rokem +3

    "Knowing that there is room and love for the feeling that provokes addiction is the key to weakening the hold of, and one day overcoming what we are addicted to."

  • @publicshared1780
    @publicshared1780 Před rokem +2

    Nice one. This came at a good time. Thanks

  • @Sjaak635
    @Sjaak635 Před 10 měsíci +1

    What helps me is the realization that every behavior has a good intention, however some of them are misguided. If we can for example teach the addictive behavior that there are more fulfilling ways to deal with the negative feelings, it's happy to do so. However we are easy to forget and play little games on ourselves, like 'in this situation I can indulge for just a little bit'.

  • @mortyrickerson6322
    @mortyrickerson6322 Před rokem

    One of my favorite channels

  • @user-cg3uy2gl3u
    @user-cg3uy2gl3u Před rokem

    What a great video. Thank you!

  • @AnatolieLupacescu
    @AnatolieLupacescu Před rokem +2

    this resonates with what I've read in Pete Walker's book on CPTSD

  • @janebotten2969
    @janebotten2969 Před rokem

    Brilliant video, thank you

  • @ovr.lighting
    @ovr.lighting Před rokem +1

    THANK YOU!

  • @mandogrogurescuedogs
    @mandogrogurescuedogs Před rokem +1

    Thank you! This is great

  • @gailaltschwager7377
    @gailaltschwager7377 Před rokem +1

    Thank you!

  • @melaniebricenodelacruz3662

    I might not have severe problems with things like alcohol or drugs but I've found myself "addicted" to someone's attention in a way that the fear of rejection or thinking that they don't want me anymore or that they're using me and just don't accept it, all those thoughts upset me and almost without noticing it, it leads me to self-destructive thoughts, which affects more than one aspect in my life. Solutions? Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Treating myself as healthy as possible without running away from the problem, whatever that means.

    • @TT-jg8ju
      @TT-jg8ju Před rokem

      Are u tryin to say u want some model guys attention?

    • @vloggerk80
      @vloggerk80 Před rokem

      The solution is to remove them from your life and stick with it!

  • @thisisdefinitelynotgale
    @thisisdefinitelynotgale Před rokem +4

    We also have to realize that, the high we feel is more of when we are thinking of the action of giving into the addiction vs actually participating in the addiction. Even worse is the feeling of shame after participating in the addiction which just restarts the cycle again. :(

    • @bleakaf
      @bleakaf Před 11 měsíci

      This 👏 my current understanding, from everything I have read and experienced myself, is that the high is actually just relief because we aren't having to abstain any longer. It's the relief of symptoms of withdrawal from the last 'fix'.
      As such, trying to use willpower will only exhaust someone and serves to keep the drug or behaviour of choice on a pedestal.
      To move forward, we need to see the thing we are addicted to for what it is.
      Easier said than done of course, but personally I have found self-conpassion (Dr Kristen Neff), ACT (Russ Harris) and Easy Way (Allen Carr) very helpful.
      Although word of warning that the last one can feel quite scolding, so maybe start with the first two if you are really feeling vulnerable xx

  • @italotter
    @italotter Před rokem +2

    Wow!! This. Is. Me.! But I am also using those techniques and antidotes when those urges and cravings arise. TSoL, you are the best.

  • @mrnoblemonkey8401
    @mrnoblemonkey8401 Před rokem

    needed this video today

  • @funmioh
    @funmioh Před rokem

    Thank you for this video

  • @giacdeg
    @giacdeg Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you so much. This is very very important.

  • @Latoyas_got_your_soul
    @Latoyas_got_your_soul Před rokem +2

    When he said find out what happened to trigger it and stop it I was like hmmm stop waking up?

  • @TheRustyLM
    @TheRustyLM Před rokem +1

    Thanks!

  • @artisticbloodflow
    @artisticbloodflow Před rokem +12

    I am heavily addicted to DXM. Rehabs and hospitals and therapy have never worked so I am on my own trying to fix myself. I really hope I can stop soon. It’s killing me.

    • @nintendokings
      @nintendokings Před rokem +4

      Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s not easy. Therapy and rehab works for some, but I’ve had more success asking help from a loved one (who truly has your best interests at heart). Usually involves me talking and coming up with plans, and they support it and hold me accountable. Good luck to you! Make little steps towards your goal, and sooner or later you will feel better about it

    • @scdeltaa
      @scdeltaa Před rokem +1

      This video is a great tool. Compassion and best wishes 🙏🏽🌟

  • @thezenboy
    @thezenboy Před rokem

    My God! This hit me like a ton of bricks. It makes so much sense for what I am doing. Thank you. Thank you very much.

  • @restisresistance
    @restisresistance Před rokem +1

    Great work guys

  • @batulmohamad208
    @batulmohamad208 Před rokem +1

    Thank you

  • @Vinxi
    @Vinxi Před rokem +1

    Thank you.❤

  • @annettepayne822
    @annettepayne822 Před rokem

    Just For Today. Thank you !

  • @Fernando-gt5jt
    @Fernando-gt5jt Před 11 měsíci

    I needed this ❤

  • @TheRustyLM
    @TheRustyLM Před rokem

    Thank you!🙏

  • @martinledezma9789
    @martinledezma9789 Před rokem

    Thank you!!!!

  • @kulvindersingh5764
    @kulvindersingh5764 Před rokem

    Thanks alain!!

  • @rashidareeves78
    @rashidareeves78 Před rokem

    Thank you. 💜

  • @Reza090
    @Reza090 Před 11 měsíci

    Great. Thanks very much.

  • @MotivationSenseiTube
    @MotivationSenseiTube Před rokem

    Thanks for video

  • @SN-sz7kw
    @SN-sz7kw Před rokem

    Thank you.

  • @rinchen111
    @rinchen111 Před 10 měsíci

    Needed this

  • @robharrell-xd2pi
    @robharrell-xd2pi Před 9 měsíci

    Thank you for that

  • @piyushrath5066
    @piyushrath5066 Před rokem +1

    In brief ur telling me to observe mu own behaviour more cautiously....thanks a lot

  • @keithhunter8759
    @keithhunter8759 Před rokem

    thank you,