lol, yeah! help to love... themselves. Sorry, it's actually sad, though. Bad parenting. In essence.. love is important... the most important thing... and it starts from parents loving their child...
If a man ever says, "We'll see where it goes!" LEAVE. Thats his way of saying he likes you but not enough to snatch you up and claim you. If he isn't clear on his plan for you, say BYE.
Yes, it hurts but men assign points to women. You simply did not meet all the things on his list to make it worth it. Sorry it hurts and they won't tell you to your face but when they meet dream girl they pounce.
I have recently started to like myself for who I am. I have been hurt to many times . So I have decided I'm going to be me. I have just moved in on my own and am busy with my new apartment and new job.
Women legit need to stop caring so damn much. It’s freeing. I don’t mean we shouldn’t care at all, just stop caring about this sh*t to your own detriment. We have lives to live. We need to honor ourselves.
Cats rock! However, I would rather be the older lady, who looks younger, travels alot, drinks wine and goes to wine tastings. I'm already 35, but look 25, so I'm going to be one hot looking "old lady." Lol!
I am an Empath and if my ex narc heloed rebuilt me, i wiuld do the same but narcissists don't have compassiin and has a cristal ball to see the future bettail ? Think npt. Delusion
@@kvooo765 nope. Nope. Nope. What you do is building them up for the next one because by the end of your help all they will see you as is a therapist, nothing else.
Deceased husband DID do laundry, vacuum, cook, out to restaurants a lot!. Insisted he’s mowing yard, weed eating, fixing vehicles, fixing house, paying bills. Etc. He made certain I’d have what I needed before he died. Including our Tombstone. Medical situation. Several times... Everyday he’d say “I love you!” “Hello Gorgeous!” Then say with tears in his eyes, “I worship the dirt you walk on!” I loved him back the same way! There’s so much more! We lived in PEACE. He died in PEACE. I live in PEACE now... Bc of His TRUE LOVE!
Just met a guy this week. Only texting. He says on day 4 “send me a pic of those tootsie pops In your mouth lol”.....ummm I’m 46 and don’t have time for such ignorance and arrogance. Next.
@@BK-tp6jf Oh, yes, believe it. They don't grow up no matter how old they are. I was shocked too when I was in my 40s and started dating again after my divorce. Now in my 60s I see where the term "dirty only man comes from". Men have no filter on how old they are. They still get just as excited on looking at a young woman as if they are the same age. This I've seen because I have an attractive daughter and have seen their first response. And these are decent men. 🤪👀👅 Not sickos. Sorry, it's in their testosterone. The main reason dating is so hard and no decency is because of the SEXUAL REVOLUTION that I lived through. Dating was always done with the pursuit of marriage. And the goal was no nookies until. (Not that that happened) But men stayed more respectful. Look at old Elvis Presley movies. In the end he always asked the girl to marry him. BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE! Now the Democrats are gender neutralizing us. You can't say mom or dad. Its parents. You have a child. SICKOS ARE TURNING US INTO ROBOTS.
@@jadedstar7442 Do we just keep letting them tell us what we can say and can't say? No ! This a joke. I will continue with my Constitutional right to free speech.
Become available to yourself, it will stop. Pay attention to the the message they bring you. Maybe you have to learn something or heal something or stop doing certain things. They are a blessing in disguise. Don’t just fall for them, the quick you can get the message the better.
Here's the truth: he needs to want to be with you. You do you and if a man comes by often, is thoughtful, checks in (without being told) and respects your opinions that's someone who wants a relationship. You can't pick a man - he has to pick you.
I don’t know if it’s the same for men. I consider myself to be pretty emotionally mature with a lot of experience with humans in general. My gut told me “safe”, but the reality was “used” 😕
Long distance is usually a joke if the guy goes months and months without meeting you or seeing you in person. As, he’s possibly married or in a relationship and using you as a side friend.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and we see each other every other month. It’s the best relationship I’ve had and we treat each other even better than when we first started dating. Constant FaceTimes and love. Long distance is never a joke if you know what you want.
Yes I agree! I just broke up with a man who I met on a dating app because after 4 months of daily talking he was too busy to meet me. He only lived an hour away from me. Always had an excuse why he cant come see me. I got tired of it.
Basically, if a guy really loves us (is sexually attracted, likes us mentally and is bonded emotionally and will make personal sacrifices for our happiness), we will feel safe and loved and won't be wondering.
At 40yo, I hate dating now. I have such envy of everyone who has found themselves a loving committed partner in life. I wish I had that, but I can’t find it anywhere.
Have you ever had one love in the past 20years? If yes, then it's time to celebrate what was & start to concentrate on yourself. If you've not had one, then stay hopeful & love yourself most of all. There's a lot of us in this situation. Each sit is different. But we must stay happy & hopeful. Most of all spiritual & lovingl. Love to you all
Yes , because he has a girl for each day I bet ! So yes .... you need seriousness and real commitment and share the same life long vision .... stay blessed. Pace to you !
Do you do things that they will want you? OR do you act stand offish? We have have to be appealing and caring too. If that goes unnoticed or unappreciated; THEN they are losers.
Thank you for the heart on my comment, I really appreciate your advice because its not sugar coated, you keep 100% cuss words and all! Your genuine and it shows thank you Elliott
@@gloriaa0214 Your right! Because let's face it women love sex too. Ive had my share of hooking up on the 1st date, and that basically set my place with the guy, I never leveled up to GF material just booty call. So I guess if you dont want him long term the .
Makes complete sense. If I guy really likes you be won't put himself in a position to lose you. He should be willing to commit to a relationship after eight dates. Well said.
One time when I was watching one of your lives, we were going back and forth about my situation with a guy coming back after pulling away. You were saying what you say here, that he never would have pulled away if he was serious. It was hard to hear but shortly after, I let him go internally. I had to emotionally let him go. And once I did that, I began getting asked out by other men and am getting back into dating again soon. Thx.
I attract men who don't know how to handle my loyalty, straightforwardness ( that men say they want),independence, thoughtfulness, empathetic nature. I feel they are use to toxic women that when a real one comes they get scared or think i have alterior motives. I feel all the real men are taken, gay or want to stay single because they've been hurt so much.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Coach Elliot is so right ! I have dated a few men and realized after a few to many dates they didn’t want the same thing . I now have met me a man who after 3 weeks of us dating ( though we met 5 years ago) asked me to be exclusive. It is now going on 4 months and he hasn’t changed, though we had a few fights he is always the one to do the chasing , he has stepped up since I lost my job end of sept , still buys me flowers every other week , I’m with this man just about every day helping him with his business and I have my own key And my stuff at his house . He hates going a day without me . I’m looking forward to my first thanksgiving with him and our two grown sons . Ladies , if he doesn’t commit after a certain time , let it go because most men will continue to get it all without the commitment .
Why are you helping him with his business? Are you his employee? Or are you just helping to build it? I would not do that if I were you. Is he paying your bills aside from buying flowers?
@@ShinySilverBunny one thing I will not allow a man to take advantage of me for money ,. He has a landscaping and irrigation company , He is showing me things and keeping me busy while I’m not working . He is also going to give my son work cash in hand over the holidays . He gave my front yard a make over with all new landscaping and cost me nothing , he also fixed things in my house , he pays pretty much everything.
I had a similar situation happen. The guy was buttering me up in the beginning and was looking to move back to his home state, my state. Says he was going to move to my city specifically. He was expecting me to give it up. I didn't. Then he ghosted lol. These guys will tell you anything to get in your pants 😅
Elliot Scott you are 100% correct. We as women need to stop opening our legs and being idiots with men full stop. Wait assess, make sure all his actions meet his words. Stop being easy access, no man I know refuses sex. If you enjoy being a used up door mat. Then ignore and keep doing your thing that clearly is not working. I learnt the hard way and got wise. We all make mistakes but for goodness sake stop repeating them.
But if you did give up the assets and think you messed up? turn it around and say you used him too. Just sayin we as woman can’t be left feeling guilty all the time because we “gave it up” be a lioness ladies stop feeling guilty. 🦁 do what’s right and we won’t feel guilty bottomline
Yep, dump these type guys that don’t care if they do things that may lose you. It’s a waste of your precious time when they could care less. Find someone that actually puts in the effort.
The " good looking Dude" is a Narcissist who is trying to Hoover the Lady from California up. He is not worthy of her. Go No Contact and learn about Narcisstic Abuse Recovery to save your Self the heartache. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
When you meet a man and start talking about things mention what you will and not tolerate and stick to it Don't let anyone test you don't fall for sugary words All relationships are usually perfect in the beginning Wait and see Be a listener not a talker and you will find out who he reminds you of If it is someone you didn't like then don't try to change them Find what you are looking for Its out there but you can't find them wearing rose colored glasses...take them off!!!!
i dont know why i've never felt anything like this my gut feeling just tells me to trust him and relax😅😌, i've never feel so peaceful while being in a relationship.. im not obssesed or too attached its just so balanced and i love him, he reciprocates this i think its why i feel at peace
@@lashondaward2924 I agree. I told my daughter that rather than that excited feeling you have in the beginning, what she's watching for are feelings of peace and well-being.
We don’t want to listen to our guts all the time because it’s so disappointing, as we always come across phonies, players, and nutcases. For once we want our gut to be wrong lol. 😏
What he is doing now is breadcrumbing me, taking me for granted and I'm not even a priority anymore he says he's busy. I've tried the detachment of pulling away as he pulled away... he wasn't fazed. I've tried talking like an adult, he says he's busy but I see him go offline when I come online or go offline in the middle of our conversation. I broke up with him and we kept talking for a few weeks now that I'm going home soon(long distance relationship) he says he wants to meet up and rekindle the love we had 🙄😣. It hurts that I wasted my precious year with this guy hoping he would go back to normal. I'm not saying I'm in a rush to get married but the fact that women have a time limit to do so makes it that much more saddening that he wasted my time. Now I have to breakup with him officially when I go home and move on
You do not have to have a full blown meeting or conversation. Clear lines: “You’re being inconsistent and unreliable. With the distance and your behavior this is not going to work. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and good bye.” This is a job, if you’re not executing, you’re fired.
@@jenniferlouissaint Yasssss👏👏👏👏 you said the word Lady!! You know those dang tricks...he knows she's vulnerable ,he'll prob try to get some physical assets AND THEN resume his bargain basement behaviour. CM you are worth more than whatever cheap acts he's given and is still tryna give. I highly recommend you cut n paste what Jenn said up top. He won't know what hit him. All the Best✨
CM I have been there. What hurts the most in the end is losing our precious time. Men know that we do have a time limit, so those who doesn't show through their actions that they have a life plan with you in it dont deserve a second of your time. Many men need ego boosts from women and you have to cut them loose. All the best ❤
Dude I’ve made so many excuses for this dude. He’s my ex and is going to remain that forever! He just wanted the assets! Us women need to be more cautious and not give into unavailable men.
Exes are the most dangerous! I dumped an ex eons ago and he was more into me than him. Fast forward years later, I get divorced and we reconnect and he tells me “I’m the one that got away” yet he’s inconsistent, inconsiderate, future faked, broke promises. I was just looking to hook up since I had just left my marriage but once I wanted to venture into something more serious, I dropped him. Life is too short! Once you and that person aren’t on the same page you have to move on.
I like "positively cautious." It's true about gut feelings. Women have very instinctive, intuitive awareness that we do not use often enough, or do not tap into completely. Listen to that inner conscious voice when in a place of imbalance. Very seldom is it wrong. Great job again, Elliot! 😊💯
@@lioydwilliams1850 Actually, not right now. I have learned to let go of unhealthy situations and focus on becoming the best I can be for myself first, then for someone else, if it is to be in my future. It is an ongoing process.
He's right. Experience talking here: I waited longer than Elliot says. And this guy did get better. HOWEVER, the principle still applies. Holidays suck, because the principle still applies. Just because we're around each other does not mean he cherishes me. He does not. He knows he has a good woman, his friends know... but it's not in his heart. This guy is not even a bad guy or a player. He keeps to himself and is slightly generous but I don't have his heart. Elliott is right. A dumb amount of time has gone by at this point and I don't have his heart, so it is a little unhealthy to say the least. Elliot is right.
Yuou're right. I was inexperienced, it was my first, coming so late in my late 30's. I was waiting for two years. It did get better, but when it's low it's very low. And it still ended.
Absolutely love your videos! As a woman, even though there are topics that are uncomfortable for us to hear or come to the realization of situations, I can really respect and appreciate your bluntness and just getting right down to the point of the matter and calling out these shitbag kind of guys for what they are and helping us women to not run with our blinders on or make excuses! As far as I'm concerned that takes balls so keep up the good work!
Gotta play your cards right, dating is a game, “i know I know it sucks” but what i do is i “play dumb at times,I feed their egos, I tell them what they want to hear, I act as I don’t like them as much & play with their minds alit, dress causally but same time to the nines...It works because I’m testing them, I learned this from a young age.. I was a nice girl and kept it real before but that doesn’t work, us ladies we gotta be 100 steps ahead of them...We have the power to control everything, and I mean everything 😉.. Don’t give up your “goods” to any men!!! Make him work for you and want you ..👌🏼 We are powerful ladies, don’t give up that power ...
I met a guy a year and a half ago and I still haven't had sex with him. He is beyond obsessed with me till this day. I don't rush anything, as I matter to me and may the best guy for me be the man for me... Then he can have all of the goodies.
@@Sagha4 exactly!!👏🏼👏🏼 you know exactly what to do! Keep it up.. When I was younger I was so naive and gave it up to this guy I really liked, I thought by just giving it up would keep him, but I learned real quick, hell naw.. Us women we really do have the power over them.. I realize we gotta make them like us more then we do like them.. hope that made sense lol
You should teach a class My grandma told me dating was a game I wish I had understood how much it is a game I would have enjoyed dating so much more than stupidity getting married so fast 3 TIMES
@@Sagha4 Really the only problem I see with this is what is the point if you do not get to enjoy sex with him Or are you having sex with others and just denying him sex Either way it sounds like a bad relationship Because a sexless relationship is not a good relationship
I met my man online, went on a date within a week of talking and THE SECOND WE SPOKE I knew this was different. I was like ok don't fuck this up, this is it if you really want it to be. We went for dinner and forgot to look at menus we couldn't stop talking. We talked and talked and talked, went for a drink and talked and talked more. Before I knew it 3 hours had gone by. Usually I'm the introvert who will look for an escape because dating is exhausting, but this was so easy. We organised to meet again a few days later, a date that ended up lasting about 9 hours. We connected on such a deep, emotional level, and there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he," it was just easy! 5 weeks later we went into full lockdown, so I moved in with him. Even though lockdown has ended, we still live together and are building a life together. We met only 10 months ago today, lived together 9 months, and neither of us have ever been more content. 10 months isn't long, but I've got a good feeling 😄
And even after 6-8 dates don’t give it up until you’re married. 6-8 exclusive, 1 year of more dates, engaged...marriage then make all the love you want exclusively off the dating market.
This is so true! I have had a recent experience about that. They come back around because they like to consume, not to invest. Some are so stupid lazy that they don’t even realize that and they just lie even to themselves saying “I am a good guy” ....yeah, right :(
This man speaking straight facts it's the actions, motives , consistency, and effort for me. A man who wants you will consistently show you and pursue young man who is not wasting your time will make time if he makes consistent excuses cant answer simple yes or no exactly that coming and goin ghosting shit yes he has put himself in a position to lose you and pursue your other options stop letting him waste your time CUT IT OFF SIS BLOCK DELETE MOVE ON PERIODT!🙌🙌🙌💅💪✌ Trust me what he wont do another will I promise you!!!!!!😜🤪🙌🙌😍😍
@@ElliotScottDating Thanks Elliot love your content 🙌🙌 moving on isnt always easy but staying isnt always worth it either especially when it's someone playing games.
Everything you said is valid 100%. That why u got to have options of guys to date ladies. Especially for men that just want to pop in & out of life all the time
Thank you for your honesty. It's kindof the last message I needed to feel better about finally stepping away from this guy I've invested in for over two years - permanently. It's taken alot of crap to get to this point.
I know for a fact I'm generally delusional in life and try stay aware of my idealism but still get cognitive dissonance in relationships 😑 my gut feeling brought me here and 13 minutes later I've politely and lovingly given him the freedom to pick a direction and fuck off😂 Thank you for giving a fuck about the state of things. You've helped a lot❤ ... I may need to download this and revisit it every few months😂
Guys usually want a relationship by date 3 with me. That’s rushing it. I need to know who I am dealing with first. Heck I move so slow they leave me lol.
A man who is really into you does not leave you if you slow. This men are players. They say and want a relationship with you after 3 dates to manipulate you. It is a trick. Especially when they leave you being slow. My unckle waited 7 years for his woman. She said... 1st i want to finish school. 2t first i want to marry you, before having sex and moving in together. He respected her conditions. They are 75 now. Bless you lady.
That's the cold hard truth, when a guy has a large dating pool he won't just give up on his options even if you are a celebrity. But when they are all over you after day one when you didnt even say "yes" to dating them, that means they dont have as many options.
I found out the hardest way that a man can even marry you and STILL just be using the woman I will set MUCH higher standards from now on I will NEVER wear rose colored glasses again Even marriage does not mean he wants a relationship
After being married twice I now think differently about marriage. It is a paper that is for possession and money control by the two parties. Love may not be there on either end or by only one. But, at least you get something out of the relationship for your time given to him such as a home, automobile, other possessions, and money. I know this sounds like it’s lacking depth but after doing this twice you want to get something tangible out of the time you give a man. Believe me, they will take your time and your body and give nothing in return if you let them.
You are so correct sir !!! Ladies you will Dodge a big world of hurt bullet if you listen to this man!!! He’s truly telling you the truth!!! I really appreciate what he is saying!! Wish I had this advice years ago!!!
I think every situation is different and unique, you can't group all dating situations together under one rule. Just use your instincts and knowledge to figure out what to do and you'll make the right decision, even if you don't, you will eventually. Just chill and things will fall into place.
Always trust your intuition ✨ If a guy really likes or loves you he wouldn’t put himself in a position to lose you . . Best advice ever . But some people don’t want to accept the truth .
Elliot, you have studied literature so you must be an introvert. Nevetheless, you have an awesome youtube channel and you seem so open sharing your expertise with us. How the hell do you do it?
This is why we have to be very careful ladies. Dating a low caliber man is emotionally expensive.. I'd rather be a single dog and happy than to be married and miserable.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Hey Elliot, thanks alot. I have this mentality and principle in my life, once I break up with a guy no matter how much I loved and cared about him..... I never let him back into my life again coz I know they never change and they come back to pass time till they get someone else to accommodate them ❤
Alot of people are not looking for love they're looking for help
lol, yeah! help to love... themselves. Sorry, it's actually sad, though. Bad parenting. In essence.. love is important... the most important thing... and it starts from parents loving their child...
Like yourself
You can have both! 😉
@@CrystalDatingCoach both what?
@@matilda4406 Probably love *and* help...!?🤷🏼
If a man put himself in the position to lose you he should lose you.
You should be: Hard to get and EASY to lose.
Yeah!!
Thank You.
Amen
@@memoryrinehart4452
p
P
If a man ever says, "We'll see where it goes!" LEAVE. Thats his way of saying he likes you but not enough to snatch you up and claim you. If he isn't clear on his plan for you, say BYE.
Translation. I'm going to USE you until I find the Woman really like. Tell them to get LOST!
Your so right! I don't know if I want to cry or ball bust.
Yes, it hurts but men assign points to women. You simply did not meet all the things on his list to make it worth it. Sorry it hurts and they won't tell you to your face but when they meet dream girl they pounce.
@@JDoe-hb7pc OK it hurts. But Other people opinions about us are not out problem. Someone will appreciate you...believe me.
Not true. It just mean he doesn’t know if you’re suitable yet. Don’t rush people.
I dont care if he likes me, i like me. The end.
That is a very healthy way I will be the same bc I have learned I enjoy my own company very much LOL I LIKE ME TOO
I have recently started to like myself for who I am. I have been hurt to many times . So I have decided I'm going to be me. I have just moved in on my own and am busy with my new apartment and new job.
Snap.
😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍
Amen...and that's ALL that matters.
Women legit need to stop caring so damn much. It’s freeing. I don’t mean we shouldn’t care at all, just stop caring about this sh*t to your own detriment. We have lives to live. We need to honor ourselves.
Well I don't care at all. I am done.
Yes i totally agree! Honour thy self!
STOP loving Men who give. Nothing.
Amen.
That’s a really good observation. Thanks for the comment
I don't even care anymore......just rather be the crazy old lady with a house full of cats!!!!!!
Me too!
Amen!!! Cats are the best ❤️💯
Cats rock! However, I would rather be the older lady, who looks younger, travels alot, drinks wine and goes to wine tastings. I'm already 35, but look 25, so I'm going to be one hot looking "old lady." Lol!
Already getting started I have 2 cats and live alone
Haha love this!
Genius phrase! So true ...”a guy who wants me will not put himself in a position to loose me.” That’s actually freeing!!!!!
It’s genius!
Truest statement everrr
Lose
@@flower9218 I mean hey, they want to “loose” us too. Lolol
Guys always try to come back , from what I've learned most are damaged and insecure ..dont feed their ego.
@@kvooo765 Yea so they can destroy you with the constructs you helped build them - ehm we think not.
@@kvooo765 best thing you can do is let 'em go. Let them heal themselves. Don't burn yourself trying to heal others and don't advice others to.
I am an Empath and if my ex narc heloed rebuilt me, i wiuld do the same but narcissists don't have compassiin and has a cristal ball to see the future bettail ? Think npt. Delusion
@@ritah4713 Yep! Happened to me
@@kvooo765 nope. Nope. Nope. What you do is building them up for the next one because by the end of your help all they will see you as is a therapist, nothing else.
I would rather die alone (happily) than to compromise my sanity by someone who treats my love like a habit
🎯
ok
You are truly a “smarty pants”.
For all the ‘unsure’ ladies...that is your gut telling you “NO”...
Deceased husband DID do laundry,
vacuum, cook, out to restaurants a lot!.
Insisted he’s mowing yard,
weed eating, fixing vehicles,
fixing house, paying bills. Etc.
He made certain I’d have what
I needed before he died.
Including our Tombstone.
Medical situation.
Several times...
Everyday he’d say “I love you!”
“Hello Gorgeous!”
Then say with tears in his eyes,
“I worship the dirt you walk on!”
I loved him back the same way!
There’s so much more!
We lived in PEACE.
He died in PEACE.
I live in PEACE now...
Bc of His TRUE LOVE!
So lucky, may he RIP
That’s beautiful, so happy you had that with him. We all want that kind of guy.❤️
How I miss my Dale. He was just that kind of stand up guy. He was my Superman 😢
So beautiful! 💜
Sorry for your loss sugar. he sounded like 1 of a kind 💕
Just met a guy this week. Only texting. He says on day 4 “send me a pic of those tootsie pops In your mouth lol”.....ummm I’m 46 and don’t have time for such ignorance and arrogance. Next.
This guy who never dated me now after 4 years wants to pick up where we left off? So what does he want now? I’m easy and his last resort ?
Eww I know I went out with someone who called me babygirl,,gross I’m 50
@@burberryclaretred6676 Please ignore him, he should have given it his best effort the first time!
@@BK-tp6jf Oh, yes, believe it. They don't grow up no matter how old they are. I was shocked too when I was in my 40s and started dating again after my divorce. Now in my 60s I see where the term "dirty only man comes from". Men have no filter on how old they are. They still get just as excited on looking at a young woman as if they are the same age. This I've seen because I have an attractive daughter and have seen their first response. And these are decent men. 🤪👀👅 Not sickos. Sorry, it's in their testosterone. The main reason dating is so hard and no decency is because of the SEXUAL REVOLUTION that I lived through. Dating was always done with the pursuit of marriage. And the goal was no nookies until. (Not that that happened) But men stayed more respectful. Look at old Elvis Presley movies. In the end he always asked the girl to marry him.
BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE! Now the Democrats are gender neutralizing us. You can't say mom or dad. Its parents. You have a child. SICKOS ARE TURNING US INTO ROBOTS.
@@jadedstar7442 Do we just keep letting them tell us what we can say and can't say? No ! This a joke. I will continue with my Constitutional right to free speech.
I attract the emotionally unavailable men.
Become available to yourself, it will stop.
Pay attention to the the message they bring you.
Maybe you have to learn something or heal something or stop doing certain things.
They are a blessing in disguise.
Don’t just fall for them, the quick you can get the message the better.
@Apple Betty Aren't all 'men' like this😂🤣 Seems to me they act like boys...no matter the age.
@Carolyn Morten 😂so right! "Next" nailed it hahha🙌
Story of my life!
A lot of people attract the emotionally, financially unavailable men
Here's the truth: he needs to want to be with you. You do you and if a man comes by often, is thoughtful, checks in (without being told) and respects your opinions that's someone who wants a relationship. You can't pick a man - he has to pick you.
Your gut feeling is NEVER wrong
Agreed
I don’t know if it’s the same for men. I consider myself to be pretty emotionally mature with a lot of experience with humans in general. My gut told me “safe”, but the reality was “used” 😕
Long distance is usually a joke if the guy goes months and months without meeting you or seeing you in person. As, he’s possibly married or in a relationship and using you as a side friend.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and we see each other every other month. It’s the best relationship I’ve had and we treat each other even better than when we first started dating. Constant FaceTimes and love. Long distance is never a joke if you know what you want.
@@juri8821 Exactly, I stated that it is a joke if you haven’t met or not seeing each other regularly. My comment was not meant for your situation. 😁
oh yea my ex broke up w me cus of distance even though i said i’ll come see u each week he said i just don’t have the time lol
Y
Yes I agree! I just broke up with a man who I met on a dating app because after 4 months of daily talking he was too busy to meet me. He only lived an hour away from me. Always had an excuse why he cant come see me. I got tired of it.
“Stop beating a dead horse, you’re only breaking your own bones.”
Ha ha! I suppose your right! Xxx
Wow we had a argument today and he mention one subject was like beating a dead horse. Seems like I should just walk away
@@jenniferwhite1413 xoxo
@@anajayasmr7126 damn.. sorry your stud is a dud
Basically, if a guy really loves us (is sexually attracted, likes us mentally and is bonded emotionally and will make personal sacrifices for our happiness), we will feel safe and loved and won't be wondering.
Some house plants would transform that space.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
At 40yo, I hate dating now. I have such envy of everyone who has found themselves a loving committed partner in life. I wish I had that, but I can’t find it anywhere.
I feel this 150%,my friend.
If you already have a passport - start booking flights - see more of the world & you will gain perspective. Blessings to you 💕🙏🏽
stop claiming your negativity. research youtube. trust God
Have you ever had one love in the past 20years? If yes, then it's time to celebrate what was & start to concentrate on yourself. If you've not had one, then stay hopeful & love yourself most of all. There's a lot of us in this situation. Each sit is different. But we must stay happy & hopeful. Most of all spiritual & lovingl. Love to you all
Try being older than 40, uts tough it seems that some of us are luckier in love and some of us hv a really hard time and may end up single.
He calls and make Dates he likes you. He Texts you every day. Morning and nite. Send cute messages. MEANS NOTHING.
Yes , because he has a girl for each day I bet ! So yes .... you need seriousness and real commitment and share the same life long vision .... stay blessed. Pace to you !
I couldn't agree more
@@maryt7959 Stop rushing into their beds!
Preach woman yassss
Thank you!
Apparently no guy has ever wanted a relationship with me because they all put themselves in a position to lose me.
Do you do things that they will want you? OR do you act stand offish? We have have to be appealing and caring too. If that goes unnoticed or unappreciated; THEN they are losers.
I feel ya girl! Felt like no one chooses me either!
What type of men are you going after?
Same
I hope you are well today. I feel what you are saying ❤. Never excuse yourself for having a good heart.
Most of the time the gut feeling is real, sometimes we are just to cocky to follow our gut. I always like how real you are! 🥰🤗
Not cocky many dont trust themselves
@@toneyfox6328 I have been too cocky to not follow my gut. But every case is different, I'd say my case was one in a thousand 🤷
@@michelleperez4274 i got u my love least u are honest
Michelle Perez,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!😊😊🤙
@@oscarwilliamson1264 you're so sweet, thank you 😊
Ladies Don't give up your peach, until he shows you he really cares. Hold off
Thank you for the heart on my comment, I really appreciate your advice because its not sugar coated, you keep 100% cuss words and all! Your genuine and it shows thank you Elliott
@@autumnclark631 you must be a precious being
@@lioydwilliams1850 i do my best
So hard
@@gloriaa0214
Your right! Because let's face it women love sex too. Ive had my share of hooking up on the 1st date, and that basically set my place with the guy, I never leveled up to GF material just booty call. So I guess if you dont want him long term the .
Guys do a thousand crazy things & so don't take em seriously. Take yourself seriously! Stay confident, loving & spiritually sound.
Makes complete sense.
If I guy really likes you be won't put himself in a position to lose you.
He should be willing to commit to a relationship after eight dates.
Well said.
So don’t have sex until 8 dates in
8 dates? lmao if he really like you it only take 3-4
same goes for you ladies. If you really like him, you won’t put yourself in a position to lose him. Goes both ways. That’s fair to say.
8 :0
@@lanceromusic ikr
One time when I was watching one of your lives, we were going back and forth about my situation with a guy coming back after pulling away. You were saying what you say here, that he never would have pulled away if he was serious. It was hard to hear but shortly after, I let him go internally. I had to emotionally let him go. And once I did that, I began getting asked out by other men and am getting back into dating again soon. Thx.
It's all a cycle baby! The only thing you have to give up for your new life is your old one!
It's an awful cycle. Hurt then hurt then hurt then hurt again, ad finem.
Yeah been there. Appears, disappears, appears again. Hurting, led me to heart ache
I attract men who don't know how to handle my loyalty, straightforwardness ( that men say they want),independence, thoughtfulness, empathetic nature.
I feel they are use to toxic women that when a real one comes they get scared or think i have alterior motives.
I feel all the real men are taken, gay or want to stay single because they've been hurt so much.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Text him on WhatsApp
+1=2=0=4=8=0=8=2=2=3=4...
I’ve been sayin this for days now. Your comment is definitely my confirmation🙌🏽. The whole damn part💯💯
That's me exactly I feel too much and the men that I Date don't feel enough. Drives me nuts.
I’m so glad I don’t date. I don’t have time for this mess.
Right. Too many games smh
Same. Some bs
PREACH!!
Date when you've realized a man is decently mature after you've known him for 5-8 months
@Kate Middlefinger oouch. Be graceful inhere
Coach Elliot is so right ! I have dated a few men and realized after a few to many dates they didn’t want the same thing . I now have met me a man who after 3 weeks of us dating ( though we met 5 years ago) asked me to be exclusive. It is now going on 4 months and he hasn’t changed, though we had a few fights he is always the one to do the chasing , he has stepped up since I lost my job end of sept , still buys me flowers every other week , I’m with this man just about every day helping him with his business and I have my own key And my stuff at his house . He hates going a day without me . I’m looking forward to my first thanksgiving with him and our two grown sons . Ladies , if he doesn’t commit after a certain time , let it go because most men will continue to get it all without the commitment .
Why are you helping him with his business? Are you his employee? Or are you just helping to build it? I would not do that if I were you. Is he paying your bills aside from buying flowers?
@@ShinySilverBunny one thing I will not allow a man to take advantage of me for money ,. He has a landscaping and irrigation company , He is showing me things and keeping me busy while I’m not working . He is also going to give my son work cash in hand over the holidays . He gave my front yard a make over with all new landscaping and cost me nothing , he also fixed things in my house , he pays pretty much everything.
@@nicolebrowne3632 right on. You got it girl!!
Thank you! I needed to see this.
True
If he calls you mommy, there's an entirely separate set of issues
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nicole Jennings lol unless he is Hispanic Mami is actually an endearment ( call actual mom Ama )😂
@@shirleymorales3161 still Freud would have a word or two hundred thousand to say on that.
🤣🤣
But yet its okay for women to call a man daddy
I had a similar situation happen. The guy was buttering me up in the beginning and was looking to move back to his home state, my state. Says he was going to move to my city specifically. He was expecting me to give it up. I didn't. Then he ghosted lol. These guys will tell you anything to get in your pants 😅
Or move in.
@@jackseve lol true!
Sounds like you avoided a disaster. ❤️
@@jackseve This...
This literally just happened to me verbatim!!!
The men that comes after me never got love from their mom, they are always looking for the love their mom never gave them.
Sad. So many broken men
Elliot Scott you are 100% correct. We as women need to stop opening our legs and being idiots with men full stop. Wait assess, make sure all his actions meet his words. Stop being easy access, no man I know refuses sex. If you enjoy being a used up door mat. Then ignore and keep doing your thing that clearly is not working. I learnt the hard way and got wise. We all make mistakes but for goodness sake stop repeating them.
But if you did give up the assets and think you messed up? turn it around and say you used him too. Just sayin we as woman can’t be left feeling guilty all the time because we “gave it up” be a lioness ladies stop feeling guilty. 🦁 do what’s right and we won’t feel guilty bottomline
💯
Yep, dump these type guys that don’t care if they do things that may lose you. It’s a waste of your precious time when they could care less. Find someone that actually puts in the effort.
The " good looking Dude" is a Narcissist who is trying to Hoover the Lady from California up. He is not worthy of her. Go No Contact and learn about Narcisstic Abuse Recovery to save your Self the heartache. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
100% narcissist! They need constant supply wherever they can get it to feed their ego.
I think if a woman says "It will be different this time " It is a very very bad sign It is NOT going to work out
When you meet a man and start talking about things mention what you will and not tolerate and stick to it
Don't let anyone test you don't fall for sugary words
All relationships are usually perfect in the beginning
Wait and see
Be a listener not a talker and you will find out who he reminds you of
If it is someone you didn't like then don't try to change them
Find what you are looking for
Its out there but you can't find them wearing rose colored glasses...take them off!!!!
Yesssss!!!! This! When they remind you of someone else that’s a huge flag!
@@Dia_Hunny_Boo yes it is...I know
“What is he doing now?” Reminds me if the Janet Jackson song “What have you done for me lately” aka, my new theme tune! 😂
"don't let him call you Mommy". Oh my..😂😂😂
Exactly
Mami, with a Spanish tone is actually different
@@zoraidacastro5403 exactly zo
Why not? Mine calls me momma l!
He wants you to be his mother. Beware. Look up narcissism....
I usually put in the effort, but if I see that she's not reciprocating it back, I just walk away.
i dont know why i've never felt anything like this my gut feeling just tells me to trust him and relax😅😌, i've never feel so peaceful while being in a relationship.. im not obssesed or too attached its just so balanced and i love him, he reciprocates this i think its why i feel at peace
I believe you have found the one if your soul is at peace .Congratulation he really could be the one
@@lashondaward2924 I agree. I told my daughter that rather than that excited feeling you have in the beginning, what she's watching for are feelings of peace and well-being.
😂 Elliot is right. If he calls you Mommy - run girl, run!
This was hard to hear but so soooooo true. Listen to Elliot.
Laura,your lovely smile can make the news
Laura,ulu look stunning 🌹🌹🌷🌷 dear
We don’t want to listen to our guts all the time because it’s so disappointing, as we always come across phonies, players, and nutcases. For once we want our gut to be wrong lol. 😏
Yes v true
Lol I love your lack of political correctness
6-8 dates in the midst of pandemic? I’m doomed
🤣
Exactly lol
🤣🤣
Dates can be a hike, a walk in park, coffee by your cars, eating outside restaurant if weather good
So he doesn't like me, he's just addicted to me. What a cruel real raw TRUTH!
THIS is probably your best video of all times!!!
Finally I have the feeling while you‘re talking, that you really want to help us!
What he is doing now is breadcrumbing me, taking me for granted and I'm not even a priority anymore he says he's busy. I've tried the detachment of pulling away as he pulled away... he wasn't fazed. I've tried talking like an adult, he says he's busy but I see him go offline when I come online or go offline in the middle of our conversation. I broke up with him and we kept talking for a few weeks now that I'm going home soon(long distance relationship) he says he wants to meet up and rekindle the love we had 🙄😣. It hurts that I wasted my precious year with this guy hoping he would go back to normal. I'm not saying I'm in a rush to get married but the fact that women have a time limit to do so makes it that much more saddening that he wasted my time. Now I have to breakup with him officially when I go home and move on
You do not have to have a full blown meeting or conversation. Clear lines:
“You’re being inconsistent and unreliable. With the distance and your behavior this is not going to work. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and good bye.”
This is a job, if you’re not executing, you’re fired.
@@jenniferlouissaint Yasssss👏👏👏👏 you said the word Lady!! You know those dang tricks...he knows she's vulnerable ,he'll prob try to get some physical assets AND THEN resume his bargain basement behaviour. CM you are worth more than whatever cheap acts he's given and is still tryna give.
I highly recommend you cut n paste what Jenn said up top. He won't know what hit him.
All the Best✨
CM I have been there. What hurts the most in the end is losing our precious time. Men know that we do have a time limit, so those who doesn't show through their actions that they have a life plan with you in it dont deserve a second of your time. Many men need ego boosts from women and you have to cut them loose. All the best ❤
Dude I’ve made so many excuses for this dude. He’s my ex and is going to remain that forever! He just wanted the assets! Us women need to be more cautious and not give into unavailable men.
Exes are the most dangerous! I dumped an ex eons ago and he was more into me than him.
Fast forward years later, I get divorced and we reconnect and he tells me “I’m the one that got away” yet he’s inconsistent, inconsiderate, future faked, broke promises. I was just looking to hook up since I had just left my marriage but once I wanted to venture into something more serious, I dropped him.
Life is too short! Once you and that person aren’t on the same page you have to move on.
I like "positively cautious." It's true about gut feelings. Women have very instinctive, intuitive awareness that we do not use often enough, or do not tap into completely. Listen to that inner conscious voice when in a place of imbalance. Very seldom is it wrong. Great job again, Elliot! 😊💯
👍🎯🎯🎯
Lisa Joye,hope you are with a good man
@@lioydwilliams1850 Actually, not right now. I have learned to let go of unhealthy situations and focus on becoming the best I can be for myself first, then for someone else, if it is to be in my future. It is an ongoing process.
He's right. Experience talking here: I waited longer than Elliot says. And this guy did get better. HOWEVER, the principle still applies. Holidays suck, because the principle still applies. Just because we're around each other does not mean he cherishes me. He does not. He knows he has a good woman, his friends know... but it's not in his heart. This guy is not even a bad guy or a player. He keeps to himself and is slightly generous but I don't have his heart. Elliott is right. A dumb amount of time has gone by at this point and I don't have his heart, so it is a little unhealthy to say the least. Elliot is right.
Yuou're right. I was inexperienced, it was my first, coming so late in my late 30's. I was waiting for two years. It did get better, but when it's low it's very low. And it still ended.
He IS a bad guy if he knows you're not in his heart, but he keeps you around for your benefits.
@@Alixir1228 Two years since I posted that. I was still looking for potential. You are right. He was a bad guy. An opportunist.
Absolutely love your videos! As a woman, even though there are topics that are uncomfortable for us to hear or come to the realization of situations, I can really respect and appreciate your bluntness and just getting right down to the point of the matter and calling out these shitbag kind of guys for what they are and helping us women to not run with our blinders on or make excuses! As far as I'm concerned that takes balls so keep up the good work!
Yes it’s not pleasant to hear but so needed and helpful . Thanks Elliot !
Gotta play your cards right, dating is a game, “i know I know it sucks” but what i do is i “play dumb at times,I feed their egos, I tell them what they want to hear, I act as I don’t like them as much & play with their minds alit, dress causally but same time to the nines...It works because I’m testing them, I learned this from a young age.. I was a nice girl and kept it real before but that doesn’t work, us ladies we gotta be 100 steps ahead of them...We have the power to control everything, and I mean everything 😉.. Don’t give up your “goods” to any men!!! Make him work for you and want you ..👌🏼 We are powerful ladies, don’t give up that power ...
I met a guy a year and a half ago and I still haven't had sex with him. He is beyond obsessed with me till this day. I don't rush anything, as I matter to me and may the best guy for me be the man for me... Then he can have all of the goodies.
@@Sagha4 exactly!!👏🏼👏🏼 you know exactly what to do! Keep it up.. When I was younger I was so naive and gave it up to this guy I really liked, I thought by just giving it up would keep him, but I learned real quick, hell naw.. Us women we really do have the power over them.. I realize we gotta make them like us more then we do like them.. hope that made sense lol
You should teach a class My grandma told me dating was a game I wish I had understood how much it is a game I would have enjoyed dating so much more than stupidity getting married so fast 3 TIMES
@@Sagha4 Really the only problem I see with this is what is the point if you do not get to enjoy sex with him Or are you having sex with others and just denying him sex Either way it sounds like a bad relationship Because a sexless relationship is not a good relationship
I met my man online, went on a date within a week of talking and THE SECOND WE SPOKE I knew this was different. I was like ok don't fuck this up, this is it if you really want it to be. We went for dinner and forgot to look at menus we couldn't stop talking. We talked and talked and talked, went for a drink and talked and talked more. Before I knew it 3 hours had gone by. Usually I'm the introvert who will look for an escape because dating is exhausting, but this was so easy. We organised to meet again a few days later, a date that ended up lasting about 9 hours. We connected on such a deep, emotional level, and there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he," it was just easy! 5 weeks later we went into full lockdown, so I moved in with him. Even though lockdown has ended, we still live together and are building a life together. We met only 10 months ago today, lived together 9 months, and neither of us have ever been more content. 10 months isn't long, but I've got a good feeling 😄
You
Ate so rigjt
The
👊
Thats awesome! Hope you are still going strong!
And even after 6-8 dates don’t give it up until you’re married. 6-8 exclusive, 1 year of more dates, engaged...marriage then make all the love you want exclusively off the dating market.
This is so true! I have had a recent experience about that. They come back around because they like to consume, not to invest. Some are so stupid lazy that they don’t even realize that and they just lie even to themselves saying “I am a good guy” ....yeah, right :(
Wow... wish I heard this years ago. Thank you for writing on the wall. Love you!!!
The gut never lies. Thank you for this. Xoxo
This man speaking straight facts it's the actions, motives , consistency, and effort for me. A man who wants you will consistently show you and pursue young man who is not wasting your time will make time if he makes consistent excuses cant answer simple yes or no exactly that coming and goin ghosting shit yes he has put himself in a position to lose you and pursue your other options stop letting him waste your time CUT IT OFF SIS BLOCK DELETE MOVE ON PERIODT!🙌🙌🙌💅💪✌ Trust me what he wont do another will I promise you!!!!!!😜🤪🙌🙌😍😍
facts on facts on facts girl!
@@ElliotScottDating Thanks Elliot love your content 🙌🙌 moving on isnt always easy but staying isnt always worth it either especially when it's someone playing games.
Damn this was some hardcore truth I needed to hear 😔😒
Everything you said is valid 100%. That why u got to have options of guys to date ladies. Especially for men that just want to pop in & out of life all the time
Aye the gymsweat always makes an appearance with wise words of relationships👌
lol. scott is the truth and the light of telling it like it is. THANK YOU words of truth I am following.
chicago love
Hahahhaa don’t let him call you “mommy” I’m crying!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We can't keep watering a dead flower....it's pointless! 😘😘 Forget it.....
i love your little side sentences when you say something spontaneous. it makes everything honest
Thank you for your honesty. It's kindof the last message I needed to feel better about finally stepping away from this guy I've invested in for over two years - permanently. It's taken alot of crap to get to this point.
You are right, I knew that in my gut. Mostly because he lives on the other country and it would only be long distance!
I know for a fact I'm generally delusional in life and try stay aware of my idealism but still get cognitive dissonance in relationships 😑 my gut feeling brought me here and 13 minutes later I've politely and lovingly given him the freedom to pick a direction and fuck off😂
Thank you for giving a fuck about the state of things. You've helped a lot❤ ... I may need to download this and revisit it every few months😂
I needed to hear this. perfect timing
Where was this 10 years ago? I’m stuck in this never ending situationship
For 10 years ? thats rough ! Hope you'l find the courage to leave
Giiiirl... look up sheraseven1
@@GemZbabe101 right
Leave
@@GemZbabe101 for real
"Go to the fridge lil johnny" 😂😂😂😂😂 omg
“Dont let him call you mommy”
😂I burst out laughing 🤣
If a guy truly loves you, he wont put himself in a position to lose you
You make me laugh so hard Elliott, lol, but it’s all truth...thank God you are here to teach it in such an entertaining way
Elliott needs his own television show or podcast !!!! You need a relationship book for us women
Guys usually want a relationship by date 3 with me. That’s rushing it. I need to know who I am dealing with first. Heck I move so slow they leave me lol.
A man who is really into you does not leave you if you slow.
This men are players. They say and want a relationship with you after 3 dates to manipulate you. It is a trick. Especially when they leave you being slow.
My unckle waited 7 years for his woman. She said...
1st i want to finish school.
2t first i want to marry you, before having sex and moving in together. He respected her conditions. They are 75 now.
Bless you lady.
He is keeping it real!
You are 100% right... OMG! I see it now after dating a guy for 9 months.
Great video. On point, concise, effective. I'm Italian and we know this by tradition. It's just the truth. Subscribed!
best advice I ever got about relationships
Thank you :)
That's the cold hard truth, when a guy has a large dating pool he won't just give up on his options even if you are a celebrity. But when they are all over you after day one when you didnt even say "yes" to dating them, that means they dont have as many options.
You are so right on! I should seen your videos a long time ago. It would have save me some heartaches and been able to weed them out!
Added this to my Favourites! Thanks a lot, Elliot! ❤️
Elliot is the type of guy I need in my life as my best friend 😆
Very true :)
I found out the hardest way that a man can even marry you and STILL just be using the woman I will set MUCH higher standards from now on I will NEVER wear rose colored glasses again Even marriage does not mean he wants a relationship
After being married twice I now think differently about marriage. It is a paper that is for possession and money control by the two parties. Love may not be there on either end or by only one. But, at least you get something out of the relationship for your time given to him such as a home, automobile, other possessions, and money. I know this sounds like it’s lacking depth but after doing this twice you want to get something tangible out of the time you give a man. Believe me, they will take your time and your body and give nothing in return if you let them.
@godlove Yes so very true . Just look at shanann watts situation. RIP.
You are so correct sir !!! Ladies you will Dodge a big world of hurt bullet if you listen to this man!!! He’s truly telling you the truth!!! I really appreciate what he is saying!! Wish I had this advice years ago!!!
Thank you for everything you do. I truly appreciate your videos🙏🏽❤️
I think every situation is different and unique, you can't group all dating situations together under one rule. Just use your instincts and knowledge to figure out what to do and you'll make the right decision, even if you don't, you will eventually. Just chill and things will fall into place.
Always trust your intuition ✨ If a guy really likes or loves you he wouldn’t put himself in a position to lose you . . Best advice ever . But some people don’t want to accept the truth .
This video is AMAZING!! Thank you for all your great advice & work 🥰
absolutely love your candor - very much needed - thanks.
Elliot, you have studied literature so you must be an introvert. Nevetheless, you have an awesome youtube channel and you seem so open sharing your expertise with us. How the hell do you do it?
Excellent advice!
"A guy that truly loves you, would not put you in a position to lose you.".... Words so true!
Very helpful advice, Elliott! Thank you, decision made!!
It's true! If something feels suspicious it's usually because there is something wrong.
This is why we have to be very careful ladies. Dating a low caliber man is emotionally expensive.. I'd rather be a single dog and happy than to be married and miserable.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Text him on WhatsApp
+1=2=0=4=8=0=8=2=2=3=4...
Hey Elliot, thanks alot. I have this mentality and principle in my life, once I break up with a guy no matter how much I loved and cared about him..... I never let him back into my life again coz I know they never change and they come back to pass time till they get someone else to accommodate them ❤
I’m the same way.......break up = no contact EVER.......
An ex is an EX for a reason.
Completely on point!!