I have lived this. At 36 years old, I've learned you also have to be willing to be single with no expiration date if you are really trying to stand on business. Majority of men aren't living right and will lead you straight to hell if you let them. It's not easy to not have companionship, but when God gives you another chance to get it right, you take it
He thought it was a game. He was mad so started talking about a break. We too old for breaks...breaks equal bullcrap.. so i broke up completely and wished him well a month late met a man who did not play about me from day 1. That that man is now my husband we got married in six month's we celebrate 3 years in march. And the ex was just upset. When they play games trying to see what they can get away with leave em there. My husband never played head games with me EVER.
Thats what I’m tryna do, I gave up my apartment and now have nowhere to go, this man pushing the limit out of nowhere. I just wanna leave without saying a word. I don’t care what bills he paying, last night was the last straw
@gogetta6532 power tripping. Come up with a plan get back to work. Let someone or a few people know what the plan is so they can assist you in whatever way to help u be able to exit faster.
Listening to Tony helped me go from dating, to being in a relationship, to Now we are discussing marriage. His approach works, but you gotta be willing to go through the hurt of leaving. Yes it hurts to leave, but it also hurts to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy. I'm grateful for you Tony. I learned that I don't have to lower my standards to get a man, or put up with mess to keep a man.. ❤
I feel like this is toddler behavior not grown men (boys)😩. I checked my grown boy, and he kept doing it. Broke up with him, he came back, started doing the behavior again. I was done! I simply will not, and cannot be mistreated! Thank you Jesus, that I know my worth and whom I belong to!
Ladies, show a man your worth by being confident enough to walk away permanently, and he will respect you even more because he knows you're not gonna put up with his nonsense! He needs to give you the respect that he'd want a man to give his mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, etc!
I told him that the next time i wont come back if he will do the same shit behaviour and he did it again. So i left him. He didnt listen to my words so now he has to feel it. It hurts yes but i will not accept his disrespect anymore.
You telling the truth 💯 I’m married to the one I had to let go! We been married for 8 years! I loved him and wanted him,but I loved myself more! He came to his senses!
@@valentinesboy8593WOW! Like Tony said, it’s a gamble, I told the Lord if He saw my now husband was for me then he is and if not I have to keep moving. Believe I didn’t sit round waiting, I kept it moving. The Lord has that special someone for you, if he’s not already in your life.
I think men are all about getting and giving respect. They look at love/relationships differently than women. If you don’t respect yourself as much as, or more than you respect him, he will _also_ *not* respect you either. An example, look at Marjorie and Steve Harvey (I know not such a great example…but 😂)…he was a player. He was still talking to chicks while he was already with Marjorie. Marjorie told him to call her when he was done screwing around, but that is _if_ she was still available. I don’t think he’s played her since…because he respects her. I think men really get turned on by confidence.
This is true. Once you have a relationship with God and also find SELF love, your tolerance becomes extremely low. Only a man that wants you will not let you get away
This will also show if a man is genuinely interested in you at all. I was causally seeing a guy and i noticed that he was extremely arrogant and could come across as rude and careless with his mouth. One day he said something very rude to me and I called him out on it respectfully. He acted as if he didn’t understand how someone could be offended by his comments so i stopped talking to him. He ended up working his hardest to reel me back in via text and when i finally replied he “ghosted” me 😂. I let him ghost and moved on with my life. 2 months later he comes back trying to communicate with me. From there i blocked him completely. He was just trying to play games and needed something to play with. A man that is genuinely interested isn’t going to go 2 months without talking to you to punish you for something HE did. Stay strong ladies! The streets are WILD
@@msmeshaambitious9249 Be careful some guys are psychopath they enjoy hurting women. There are fine men out there, dont waste your time with pathological people who may need medication not a girlfriend.
@@msmeshaambitious9249if you wouldn’t treat him like that or hurt him like how he’s doing you, then release him from the best friend title. The title you’re giving him is putting him on a pedestal making it hurt more because he’s filling that spot. Free yourself so God can send you a loving man and you can heal.
Did all of that, I broke and jumped ship after 5 years of marriage. There is NO reasoning with a Fool. The manipulation is real. Ladies, run and don’t look back. You’re unequally yoked.
Whew this the comment I was looking for. Don’t be fooled bad company corrupts good character. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. Proverbs 26:11
I’m guilty as charged, my girl of 4 years left me back in August 2023 and I never thought she would leave. She also cut off all communication completely and it’s like we never existed together. It’s been devastating to say the least. I’ve certainly taken a hard look within and realize I have many things I need to work on and be a more accountable responsible man.
I'm sorry for your loss. But, it seems an even greater gift of insight and introspection awaited you on the other side. It's great that you can take responsibility and learn from this. I think all men and women can benefit from taking accountability and remedial steps to improve their own lives and the lives of others who must rely on them. I wish you great growth and progress toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships that you'll be better equipped to value and sustain. 💪💜
What is this WORK ON YOURSELF stuff? We're you born doing wrong things, or you don't want to take accountability and responsibility for your actions? Everybody is working and finding themselves 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It bothers me that some women are too desperate and undisciplined to check a man when he doesn’t behave and STAND ON IT. We have to be willing to get quiet or withdraw our presence sometimes. Most men understand ACTIONS so Tony is telling us to be clear verbally sooo….quit talking so much and MAKE A MOVE! We suffer and don’t create the type of relationships that we desire because WE DON’T have a backbone. It makes me sad and I hurt for ladies that refuse to do it. This technique even has to be used in marriage so…LADIES, you might as well adopt this mindset and approach now and START using it. Don’t be scared- speak truth to love IN YOUR POWER. Don’t ever be scared to walk away when he doesn’t get the lesson either.💜 Be Blessed💕
Respectfully, I totally understand your position, however some Grown Boys don’t handle Rejection that well so you have to be CAREFUL with your movements. Unfortunately, for me, my cash is not where it needs to be because I’m helping my daughter with her (third yr) college tuition @ Howard University, for nursing so it’s not that easy to change phones numbers etc. Please 🙏🏽 note, I’m Not Making excuses, I’m just trying to make smart decisions so I can remain Safe. Do I think he will hurt me, No but you Never know what a Grown boy will do when he’s hurt. I’m off to work; Happy New Year 🥳 Beloved…
I find that it gets hard for me to do this, stand up for myself, because these guys will typically have treated me the best, and I’m not used to that treatment. So do I basically have to treat this dating and marriage thing as a game? I haven’t been in a healthy or any kind of relationship for that matter and I’m 29 next month but I’m desperately trying to learn for myself.😭
I agree with everything you said sis! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾I simply WILL NOT stand to be mistreated!! NEVER EVER! You will respect me and treat me right or I will MAKE A MOVE!
Your POV is true but there are also women who weren't informed of this. No one taught them their worth. No one explained the dynamic between men and women. They leaned what they do know by their environment or tv. I recently had a woman tell me how she was so insecure she thought something was wrong with her bc she wasn't matching her bra & panties with her nail polish as her them bf requested her to do. His friend's wives were doing it so she thought she wa falling short. Well he was a narcissistic and the wives were damaged. It is not something we are all born knowing.
If you are not being treated with dignity and respect do not be afraid to walk away! 🎯 There is power in walking away! 🙌🏾 Thank you, Tony for your life changing-content.
5:10 You had better listen 👂🏽 up LADIES! Absolutely no lies being told here. I had one show up at my then apartment with my back then single self he was banging on my door 🚪 after someone let him in in a building where you had to be buzzed in. I didn’t buzz him in. I was not answering his phone calls so he took it upon himself to just SHOW 🆙 But…..he was a grown self centered narcissistic boy and not responding to him angered him. No real loss although initially I thought it would be. Now 15 years married and happy with a grown man! Moral of my story ladies is: When you get sick AND tired 😴 you KNOW it’s time to let go! Wish em all the best but you gotta bounce!
Tony is telling the truth Ladies, been there and did it. if you try everything right and after that he doesn't want to change . Then walk away the relationship is over. It hurts more to keep holding on to someone who doesn't want you, because if he did you wouldn't have to bend over backwards to protect his feelings and he doesn't respect your feelings. It's not that kind of partnership or relationship with anyone who doesn't want to respect your feelings. My grandmother told me actions speak louder than words. If you don't believe Tony and you are in a relationship like that watch the man's actions and once you walk away and give him space and see how he acts. Okay!
The Bible says a man is supposed to love, cherish, nourish, cleanse and purify his woman. If you love this man and respect him then you should not allow anything else.
He sent a new year resolution text. I still haven’t responded but decided my time is way more valuable. I’ve decided I’m not bringing him into this new year with me. He can’t go where I’m heading he’s a distraction. I’m focus right now and our principals aren’t the same .
This is so true. I did this very thing with my friend/future husband about a year ago. I started off the conversation with “I’m willing to walk away from this friendship after we’re done talking if you are not willing to consider my feelings” He listened to what I had to say, he apologized and said he would do better and expressed that he wanted me in his life. It worked for us and we’re still going strong 💪🏾 I admit that I didn’t want to lose him because I had already fell in love with him, but I had to risk it just to see if I had a good thing ❤
Yes..I always say...if you tell a man once that something bothers you...he should change it...if he does it again...MAYBE he forgot or slipped up...if he does it a 3rd time...he doesn't care about you or your feelings...and I myself only give 2 chances...not 3..js
I'm a living witness of this! I packed my bags, rented a U-Haul, and moved 10 hours away to take a job that I really didn't want, but I had to prove my point. I was done talking, shouting, fussing, fighting and explaining simple logic and disrespect. My move put him in the dirt! I cried the whole drive there, but I felt liberated. The space afforded me the clarity I needed to take a step back and allow my disgust for him to grow. LOL Now, I don't want him anymore.
I'm willing to let him lose me. If I have to correct the behaviour more than 3 times for a significant offence the relationship is over. Grown boys will cry, beg, plead, show up at your house, apologize, blow your phone up just to repeat the same thing in less than a year, walking away is the only way they'll learn
Yep. Men only learn by consequences and rewards…After you’ve told them what you won’t tolerate and they continue to do so the only way they learn is reaping the consequences of their behavior. Ghosting has always worked for me every time. After 6 months he called me thinking everything was good and I told him I was not interested anymore. He wanted to know why I never called him back and wanted to start over. He said most women only want him because of his money. But all he did was talk about how lavish his lifestyle was and how much money he got and how his last GF was using him for his $. Yet he was going to take care of me. Right …ok… I couldn’t take him seriously. I knew he was saying it thinking I was going to be desperate to have him. I liked his personality that’s why I gave him a chance however I was turned off because he would never call me unless he wanted sex. I told him about this and said I don’t care about a man’s money as much as I wanted someone who’s loyal, loves God and has integrity and is consistent in their actions. I’m making my own money and I don’t ever depend on a man period. I don’t have it like him but I would rather get that lifestyle that I want on my own. That’s what I’m working on. If he is complaining about spending money he won’t spend it on me. Most BM that I’ve dealt with always talk about BW being gold diggers. More of us make more money. But Anyway. This is why I’ve always made it my business to get my own money and never depend on a BM. They always think like this yet they will give their incomes to other races and think it’s a flex. They don’t think BW deserve that lavish lifestyle. They have always been the ones who bring it up first with me. I get it …they know it gets our attention but it takes more than your money to get a good woman sweetheart lol….I don’t have time to entertain him because I’m assuming men like him like to use money to control women…that’s why he was talking about it all the time. For me it’s a turn off and I’m not tolerating it. If you want to support me do it because you want a stable relationship. I let him know If he was that type of man I would not deal with him. I have to see more of his behavior because I haven’t been around him long enough yet. He thought that I would stay around because of his money and he was shocked that I never called him back. I told him that I believed that he probably had other woman and when they didn’t work out he wanted to get back with me. A man will do that. They will keep you stringing along until they find the one they want to marry or sleep with. I’m not waiting around for that. If that’s what he plans to do he will be shocked again. I’m not one to play with. He denied it and said he was very busy and didn’t have time because of his real estate deals but enjoyed my company and wanted a real relationship. I told him a man will make time if he really cares for a woman. He asked me to be exclusive with him and I said I need more effort. I gave him another chance but I’m in control of the temperature of the relationship. I don’t ever call him first to show him I don’t need him like that so I purposely keep my distance. He travels all the time and I’m cool with that because I need my space. I want to show him I can do things without him because that’s what I was doing before he came along and If I see inconsistencies and lack of good character I will leave again . In the past, the reason I ghosted him was because I would text him and he wouldn’t text back unless it was about sex and It was always on his terms. He’s not a texter he likes to talk on the phone. I would FaceTime and he wouldn’t answer. When I didn’t answer he would FaceTime me to see where I’m at and I always answered. I figured he got another woman around. I’m looking like I’m too available which looks like I’m too desperate so I stopped responding because I thought that l’m getting played. When I called he would pick up on the first ring. He didn’t want me to see where he was but wanted to check where I was… ok…I thought that was weird so I stopped communicating altogether and figured he got another woman or playing games to test me. I have a lot of positive stuff going on so I don’t have time for games. I’m too busy improving myself and don’t need him for validation. To make up for his absence and to prove he is a man of his word he has agreed to renovate one of my real estate houses and we split the profits…but that’s no guarantee that I will stay with him. If his actions don’t improve and someone better comes along he will be ghosted again.
Girl don't split no profits with that man that is his punishment and what he should be doing to make it up to you, your doing good but you need to be more harsh no more nice girl make him renovate that house and get NOTHING and make him agree I guarantee if he wants you bad enough he will do it
I walked away from a very very very long relationship. Got tired of talking and begging for change. It will be one year. He wants to get back together and apologize every chance he can, but I’m not going the best decision I’ve ever made I’m enjoying my peace and worry-free life.
I was dating this man who told me that I asked too many questions. How are we going to get to know each other without asking questions. He said I can tell you anything, you still wouldn’t know. I told him I have a father in heaven who will show it to me. We stop dating because he said I was too much for him. 🤦♀️
Tony God told me the same thing - God said to me in a dream that if you message him and chase him, you will get a boy not a man-wait for him to message you. No sex before marriage either because that gives the devil license to get into your relationship to cause problems.
It’s been 6 days since I spoke to him and he’s freaking out. He called me four times yesterday, texts 3x and I have not responded! I don’t feel bad because he dug this hole for himself.
One thing about me. Any red flag or non negotiable disrespected especially in early dating= to me walking away..deleting and blocked. Not staying a sec longer to see how worse it gets from there. ✌🏾
he didn’t change so i gathered my things & my 2 yr old & moved a couple states away. it’s been the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself. ppl can only take so much mental abuse before they snap & I refused to snap! I literally started from scratch & love the life I’ve created for my child & I. ☺️
I have a husband and he knows I will walk away from his azz if he ever tries me. He literally knows this. I have no loyalty to anyone but myself. Respect me and you'll naturally get that respect back. Women are the divine feminine. Protect your nature and peace.
I had a friend tell me that implementing these exact principles from Brother Tony was playing mind games, no ma'am. Teaching people how to treat you in all types of relationships, business, and personal is how to build healthy relationships.
Dr. Umar is NOT a GODLY man of good character. He is a well known womanizer and as woman we have to stop taking advice from grow boys giving advice they DO NOT follow.
I agree. “IF” you’re solely using this tactic to “keep a man” it’s manipulation. If you walk away it has to be because of a reason outside of trying to keep a man. You leave with the notion of NEVER returning.
Tony is telling the absolute truth. Back in 2022 I was dealing with a guy and he went ghost for a day so when he reached out I didn't respond..he sent like 10 messsges and I never replied until the next day and I said what I needed to say in that message. Lol you got to find your voice and just be okay being alone. Having a man isn't the end all be all especially if he isn't treating you right! Let's listen to Tony more and implement his strategies bc they work! I even practice my Liam Neeson voice sometimes 😂
💯 Sis! Being alone won’t kill you, but being with the wrong man, just might! 😬 I will not, and be mistreated! I know my worth, and whom I belong to! If you come at me, you gotta come at me right or I will walk away!
I will not be giving any man a half dozen times to correct his behavior, I'm sorry. My guy cheated one, I asked him about it, he lied and thought he could play in my face. I left and gave not returned, that's been 6 months ago. My cut off game so strong, I act like you never existed.
Tony, I’ve applied this in the beginning part of my relationship and I have not had to apply this since. I’ve been with my now finance going on 3 years. We got engaged in year 2, this year we are getting married!🎉 I don’t know my father, and I don’t talk to my brothers about dating, relationships or relationship tips. Therefore, your videos and principals that are rooted in Christ help me ALOT! Thanks Tony ❤
You ain’t lied! After 2 years of doing this is ain’t worth it. It’s been almost 1 month no contact and like he said it’s over by then. It hurts but once you find out you’ve been dealing with a grown boy faking as a grown man it’s better to find out sooner than having a baby or waste 5-10 years of your life chile 😮💨
I been w mine 11 years and have 5 children. He convinced me to be a stay at home mom and home school so now I have no money to get up and leave. I was young and dumb back then. But I'm tired of the mental and emotional abuse. Time to get to the drawing board on this one SMH 😮💨😐
Good afternoon ❤ just wanted to tap in, once I started LISTENING … I lost him and I’m ok ! It’s sinking in everyday for both of us … I just got audio message this morning of him taking accountability and how he’ll always be willing to work it out with me. Mwah, no reply 💯 because I started listening to TG and putting my faith in GOD💯🙏🏽 I pray peace, consistency, and discipline for anyone struggling with denying access!!
Yes, I did that with my husband, he came playing games. I left and he changed overnight. I didn’t argue I said what I meant and meant what I said. He respected me not letting him do whatever he wanted to do.
So true. I finally started listening to you last year after man years. I’m 27 I was in an abusive relationship. Finally left. 2 weeks later bumped into my man we’ve been together almost a year and it’s amazing. I showed him I was willing to lose him during the first week when he told me he would call me and he didn’t. I canceled the date and everything. He called me immediately and apologized and said he was taken back because he’s never had anyone check him like that before. I told him it was a respect thing, and to never tell me he’s going to do something and not do it.
@@raedyyy Try it dear! Yes he is turned off that you checked him! Let him be upset and see if he steps up to meet your standard. And then…if he wants you enough, he will come back and apologize and do the right thing. If a man finds out that you’re soft, that he can get away with a lot and that he can disrespect you, your entire relationship will be full of disrespect and you will loose your self esteem/worth and your voice/opinions in the relationship. Work on your confidence and THEN try this.
Ladies Tony’s advice on this works! I had to use this with my new boyfriend over the Christmas holiday (verbal warning) and New Years ( he tested me one more time and i made it clear that I was absolutely willing to walks away and also physically demonstrated). There were a few tough days for me when I asked if I was being too rough but I’m glad i didn’t cave. He has taken the correction and has now committed to being the man I’ve fallen in love with. We are better now and have a deeper understanding of each other than before the conflict. When I started to see some problematic behaviors that needed to be checked I was so glad I had this advice in my arsenal. Never be afraid to reinforce healthy boundaries, kindness and genuine respect. You are worth it!
Kept going backing several times after weeks of not talking, my hope kept me in the loop for far too long. I’m not wasting another year on a promiscuous man. I’m done.
Yep! Married to the man I walked away from for 2 months and he came back crawling lol. Been married every since! Ultimately the woman is the prize, which is why you have to be able to leave if need be! When a man knows you can and will leave him if he falls out of line then he will come correct every time!
I did it the right way , this is what I said. I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I don't see a future with us as a couple. Our values don't align. I'm just not ready for this level of intimacy. I respect you enough to be honest with you. I wish you the best.
@@mariono244 it’s called stonewalling and it’s a form of manipulation and abuse! I don’t want to tell you what to do but you can’t have a healthy relationship without communication. I broke up with my ex because of this plus he also had other narcissistic traits.
thank you for your feedback, i want to break it off as it's affecting my mental health and he won't pick up my calls...it's a complete transformation from his behaviour 3 weeks ago, learning alot@@gracie2367
TG know the game! Man I was like he literally is saying exactly what us men do. I give Christ glory daily that I can improve and grow with one woman that I married 3 years ago. Keep dropping them 💎 TG👊🏾
He has said this so many times I know he’s gotta be tired of saying it, but he’s doing God‘s work, so he keeps pressing on! I left my grown boy even before I heard about Tony so when I found out about Tony a few months after I ended it; it was just confirmation! I don’t have time to deal with toddlers! I’m too old to deal with toddlers!
This is so true. Im dating someone that wanted to act casual when we first met, but yet have a "serious" relationship. No, he just didn't want me to Date others and keep me on the hook. I spoke to him once, and he tried to do it again. I never said anything and left him alone. The effort he now puts in to show me that im a priority is far above what he tried to do. Keep your standards. I am not scared or worried of being single. So, anything that doesn't make me happy in a relationship needs to go.
& the rules doesn’t change whether you’re single dating or married. At any point in the relationship when you start being disrespected and not valued you need to be capable of walking away. Love my husband to life but if he ever straits treating me crazy I’m GONE. that’s the energy you have to have about yourself
one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is you have to be willing to walk way for *peace* , for your mental health. A man has once…maybe twice to show me he does not care about me & im out. boy bye. 🙂
When I finally left, years later my guy now is going to all the lengths to fight for me and I’m still holding my ground …the ball is in my court and I’m not sure he deserves me now 💁🏽♀️ so it’s very real…I was a do girl for all my early 20s but now that I’m 29 I’m not having any of it…my dating life is working out fine for me now 🎉
We were together 4 yrs and he cheated.. I stayed away then started seeing him on and off.. i decided not to see him anymore in Dec. I deserve so much better then he was offering.. i went from being his woman for 4 yrs to FWB.. naw I’m good.. haven’t seen nor talked to him since December.. I miss him a lot.. But I Miss ME more..
Tony is saying the same thing as he's been saying for years I have applied this to my relationships and The man do straighten up if you stick to your guns. Or they move on saying you tripping
Listen ladies Tony’s advice is great but know this too, your womanly instincts is better!!! I don’t play games in order to try and keep, get or lose a man!!! If it happen it just one of them things… cause I ALWAYS GO IN with good intentions looking for something REAL, if he show me that’s not who he is or what he really want, I might stay for a little bit in order to make sure… but once I walk… I’m gone for good!! And that’s not me trying to keep him interested or anything like that, is just how my own heart works… if I fall for you based on how we met and that doesn’t stay consistent, I lose interest and be ready to move on anyway!!! My attention span in relationships is not all that good… once YOU allow my focus elsewhere , you begin to disappear rather quickly!! And that’s on you!!! I’m faithful and loyal to a fault and yet God made an self save mechanism inside that always comes thru by itself! No games just know when you’ve had enough
Amen. This is too much mental gymnastics to navigate. I'm good. Why would I want to be with someone I have to play all these mind games with? I don't need a relationship just for relationship sake.
I’m that same, once I walk away from someone I’m gone for good. I only walk away once that includes friends and jobs. I just don’t return to anything or anyone I’m done with, when I’m DONE I’m DONE. Which is probably why I’m single, men don’t keep my attention for too long.
Mr. Gaskins is speaking all truth. I applied this to my life in Feb 2023 and stopped all communication with a lying always mis-communicating man. It was not easy after a 3 year relationship but now that I am on the other side I realize how necessary moving on was for my own self-love. I know my value, I feel lighter, I have clarity, and I am at peace. The relationship was a distraction. I had to understand that what God has for me will ADD to my peace not take from it! Thank you TG for dropping 💎💎💎!🙏🏽
I was convicted of having sex with my boyfriend. It left me uneasy every-time we did it and I talked to God about convicting my bf so he would not want to have sec until marriage. We talked about marriage and we’re moving into those steps, even did marriage classes. God said he’s knows he’s not supposed to but you have to have the conversation. So I said God if this conversation about waiting until marriage breaks up, I accept that because I want to do it right. We broke up that night, I failed my class because I didn’t submit my final that night, and we haven’t spoke in 2 years since. I’m happier than ever! God is good. Don’t be afraid to loose him.
Yeah I had to cut off communication December 1st 2023 because things have been to out of control for ...2 years! I cut it of suddenly with no convo because ive already said the same stuff for too long and it was just time for some real action and just leave . I'm hurting yes 6 weeks later because i want him to fight for me, and he hasn't but I'm staying committed to whats right
Left January 1st! He’s wasn’t giving me what needed to be given!!! He knew what he had and my intuition is so strong I know he will be back because he loves me. But what past trauma will do to a man is crazy. I love him but I love me more. If he’s willing to move past that trauma we will work beautifully but if not he will have no access to me in anyway!!!!! Im just done with the waiting game. I feel he needs to experience my absence so he can really feel the lost.
I wanted to comment on this because I have the exact same dynamic with my man. Trauma caused him to leave and come back MULTIPLE times. Each time I just let go and allowed him to return to build trust. HOWEVER, he's reached the point where he knows he needs help, so full accountability kicked in. He recently disrespected me and our relationship (out of trauma) and this time I completely cut him off. First time doing that. He got the message and is making all kinds of changes now. All of that to say, Tony's advice is sound regardless of the issues involved. You got this! 😊
Yea my current situation. I believe part of our difficulty is his son’s mother messed him up but I totally opposite of her and would never do half the things she’s done to him. I’ve proved myself enough so I’ve got to leave him since he won’t make me a priority.
Omg Tony you are so right. You are a 1000% right Tony. I kept quite for 16yrs out of fear of losing him. Then one day I woke up and put his ass out. It's been 9months and I've never been at peace. I denied all access to me and he is maddddddd😂
I remember you taught this lesson yearssss ago and let me tell you! The ones I USED to do the most to keep (🤮) took full advantage of that desperation. The ones I set boundaries with and was willing to walk away from were astonished lol and usually had a hard time letting me go, even if they didn’t want to live up to my standards. That’s how Sabrina snagged Idris. She was willing to leave him.
Get told I’m mean all of the time by men b/c I’m not afraid to detach or express my disdain (calmly with facts and not from emotions). Some I never hear from again, most do come back but now there is respect, which I value more than love and they are much more emotionally vulnerable.
My ex came back after 1 year of NC. Was dating for 4 weeks then found out he was speaking to another girls. Ended it straight away and said am not an option. Walked away and it hurts but have to put myself first.
After 2yrs of inconsistency, I decided to ghost. No conversation, just done. It’s been a year now. Saw his dating profile, lying about his age and all his pics show him with smokes and drinks. Realised, I did the right thing, he will never change and not missing out on anything. You’re right, never go back.
I just got a little upset all over again. Men can be very petty, no matter the age. I'm getting too old for nonsense, pushing 40. Nope! I refuse to deal with any child like behaviors. Pick up your toys and hush all 2024 & beyond. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Value your peace and self-wroth over a relationship or the prospect of having a family. I that's when you know that things will be okay no matter what. At least that's the big lesson I learned going into 2024..
I am in the process of breaking up with a man I really love with my heart. It is necessary because he is not listening and I have to leave for myself. If it does not come back, I will understand.
Good luck and you deserve better. I am currently thinking about leaving the relationship i am in for the same reason. He won't listen and won't see he has someone who loves and cares about him. He comes from a toxic and abusive family. I am not like that. And i am not a free therapist.
I’m right there with you Sis! Im so in love with this man but he’s not contacted me for 3 days or me saying he doesn’t love me. He’s just not making me feel secure at all. I love him from a place I thought never existed but now I must let him go. We went out two Saturdays ago dancing with his friends he drank I didn’t but he commenced to telling me in my ear he’s so in love with me but I don’t feel as a priority in his life which I’ve discussed that with him so now I have to put action of me leaving our realationship to his lack of attention.
You know what you talking about Tony😂 Point blank periiiioood‼️😆 Women PLUUUHHEEZ do not cry, scream, kick, write a long text to try to keep a man! If that man TRULY wants YOU🫵🏼…He will do what it takes to keep you! Trust God and not your emotions💝 See ya! Sir please slide to left, you’re blocking the view for my husband ✌️
Tony isn't lying. After being constantly abused & stalked I had to switch jobs twice, change my #, call the cops & get a restraining order. Ladies leave the FIRST time he tries you DON'T go back.
You have to realize u don’t need a man only desired one as I did inner work watch these coaches online I didn’t need no therapy this is it and from experience I know what I won’t tolerate
I have followed all your advice and it works 100%. However, when a man is deeply insecure with weak character and mental health issues as well, it isn’t a good idea to continue.
He pushed me to my limits and then ended it because I wouldn’t accept the crumbs I was being given …. 2 months now…. He’s gone and I don’t think he will ever realise and come back
I just have to keep on going forward and leave it in gods hands 💜 he said some unforgivable things when he couldn’t get his own way and I left the conversation because I couldn’t take anymore painful words. There was more but I’ve never read any of it to this day… I saw hearts and apologies on my notifications but I just couldn’t face the reality of him and me no longer being in each others lives. I’ve never felt so broken and lost.
Definitely true! I was in a long distance relationship for 9 years. I would break up with him often and leave and eventually try again. We got married and I filed for divorce less than 2 years. It got worse in marriage and I realized he ain’t for me.
I Thank God for opening my eyes and letting me know I don't have to settle for a toxic relationship with a man. Also, 😮 I let Go and let God handle it. Also, I am happier than I ever have been without allowing myself to no longer compromise with toxic men to make me happy. I am stronger and wiser. I wait until God sends me a real man and not a boy. So, I walked away. I learned it's better to put my trust in God and not be relied on by a toxic man. I know what I need and not what I want. God bless me to set boundaries and standards and I do now. Thank God for blessing me.
Tony is very right. Being with a toxic man is such a prison. Letting him know you aren't scared of loosing him and walking away is something we should do in case of narcists and manipulative men.
After being 4 years by myself I finally decided to talk to someone then date 3 months after we talked it was going very well until he disappeared out of thin air and stop calling stop texting and everything and I still don't know until this day what I've done or said for him to just walk away for no reason. Its so weird to me i just dont know so i just left him alone. My feelings hurt but its all good. I went through it im use to it 👍🏾👍🏾
You didn’t do anything sis. He probably had other options and picked one of them and instead of being honest he just ghosted. Pray about it, and then bury the dead.🪷
I have lived this! You must teach people how to treat you! And if he really wants you the behavior will change, I have boundaries and I keep them and teach them…and his behavior did change!!!❤🎉
OMG…. This was so AWESOME 🤴🏾 I have to watch this AGAIN because I’m dealing with this RIGHT NOW; I ended my engagement two days again and he has been so Overwhelming to the point, it’s giving me headaches while I’m at work because he wouldn’t stop texting and calling 🤦🏽♀️ Jesus, Fix It….🙏🏽
@@rosedevereux2391 ~~~> I did that and now he’s calling me from different numbers 🤦🏽♀️ I’m seriously, thinking about moving. I hate to say it BUT I’m getting to get scared.
Thankful the Lord delivered me from all of what you talked about (arguing, fighting, etc.) nothing but toxic! Yes and through all that the Lord showed me the power of letting go. It’s almost like in order to get what God really has for you whether it be in that person or not it can’t happen until you are willing to let go. This takes on a whole ‘nother dimension with God because of the intentional decision to put it in His hands and ultimately trust Him with it. Thank you Jesus. 🙌🏽👏🏽
I am pretty sure there is ALMOST nothing he wouldn't do to have me back. Instead, he gets to see me continue to do life from a distance because he played me out of his, and now there is no point; no point to return to...
I once told a man I was going to have to block him so I could get over him. He asked me if I’d ever blocked anyone before and I said no. He was blocked and I bet he’s miserable. So am I but I’ll never go back…… I TEACH 😊
Tony, you would be so proud of how I'm handling my situation. I was ghosted but now he's trying to come back. I was going to hear him out because you did have a video where you said a man could come back for heart. He tried to play dumb like he didn't ghost me. I told him to "come correct" or he might as well not see me ever again.
The power of walking away has saved my life many times. Silence works miracles, be it 72h rule/2weeks or more.. Level of crazy is - when you get punished for it later on. Run🏃🏻♀️
I have lived this. At 36 years old, I've learned you also have to be willing to be single with no expiration date if you are really trying to stand on business. Majority of men aren't living right and will lead you straight to hell if you let them. It's not easy to not have companionship, but when God gives you another chance to get it right, you take it
They'll lead lead you to hell or jail 😂
@@ieshjust16 listen! 😂
They also want a healthy woman but don’t wanna work on themselves!
@@krissyhall2838 speak for yourself
Whew a word I've decided I'd be straight like Paul and I'm ok with it. I know it'll be hard some days but a risk I'm willing to take 🤌
You can't lose something that you never had. 💯 😊
Just like you can’t loose something that’s truly meant for you when it’s a good thing💜
@@Addease both are sooo true!
Is not that the truth 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
That part🫵🏽
That part!
He thought it was a game. He was mad so started talking about a break. We too old for breaks...breaks equal bullcrap.. so i broke up completely and wished him well a month late met a man who did not play about me from day 1. That that man is now my husband we got married in six month's we celebrate 3 years in march. And the ex was just upset. When they play games trying to see what they can get away with leave em there. My husband never played head games with me EVER.
I'm really happy for you!!! You made smart moves. 💯
I love this
Thats what I’m tryna do, I gave up my apartment and now have nowhere to go, this man pushing the limit out of nowhere. I just wanna leave without saying a word. I don’t care what bills he paying, last night was the last straw
@gogetta6532 power tripping. Come up with a plan get back to work. Let someone or a few people know what the plan is so they can assist you in whatever way to help u be able to exit faster.
Congratulations.. that’s what I’m talking bout.. I’m happy for you… I’m the same way… shiiid.. help em pack & hold open the door for em..
He cut me off this December 2023 I didn't even argue I said I wished you the best ✌🏽
You cant keep a man😂😂😂😂😂
@@blackrepublicanguy not a man that's a grown boy
Yep 😊
@@rareroseglosses1554 you cant compete for a man
@@DaintyAbby they ALWAYS COME BACK he's coming lol
Listening to Tony helped me go from dating, to being in a relationship, to Now we are discussing marriage. His approach works, but you gotta be willing to go through the hurt of leaving. Yes it hurts to leave, but it also hurts to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy. I'm grateful for you Tony. I learned that I don't have to lower my standards to get a man, or put up with mess to keep a man.. ❤
Amen thanks for sharing
Going through it now and it’s tough, but you’re right. You have to love yourself more than you love the man.
My story is very similar and it was this teaching right here that coached me.
I feel like this is toddler behavior not grown men (boys)😩. I checked my grown boy, and he kept doing it. Broke up with him, he came back, started doing the behavior again. I was done! I simply will not, and cannot be mistreated! Thank you Jesus, that I know my worth and whom I belong to!
Great 4 u what a blessing!
Ladies, show a man your worth by being confident enough to walk away permanently, and he will respect you even more because he knows you're not gonna put up with his nonsense!
He needs to give you the respect that he'd want a man to give his mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, etc!
I told him that the next time i wont come back if he will do the same shit behaviour and he did it again. So i left him.
He didnt listen to my words so now he has to feel it. It hurts yes but i will not accept his disrespect anymore.
@@cindysantos9300 I'm so proud of you! God will heal your heart. You deserve better.
You telling the truth 💯 I’m married to the one I had to let go! We been married for 8 years! I loved him and
wanted him,but I loved myself more! He came to his senses!
I agree! I loved myself and my son more! But he didn’t come to his senses, lol. He claimed so but his actions took me to the judge. 😊
@@valentinesboy8593WOW! Like Tony said, it’s a gamble, I told the Lord if He saw my now husband was for me then he is and if not I have to keep moving. Believe I didn’t sit round waiting, I kept it moving. The Lord has that special someone for you, if he’s not already in your life.
Yes they either do or they dont,we have to keep those standarts high!Always knew this.
Going through this now!!❤❤
I think men are all about getting and giving respect. They look at love/relationships differently than women. If you don’t respect yourself as much as, or more than you respect him, he will _also_ *not* respect you either. An example, look at Marjorie and Steve Harvey (I know not such a great example…but 😂)…he was a player. He was still talking to chicks while he was already with Marjorie. Marjorie told him to call her when he was done screwing around, but that is _if_ she was still available. I don’t think he’s played her since…because he respects her. I think men really get turned on by confidence.
This is true. Once you have a relationship with God and also find SELF love, your tolerance becomes extremely low. Only a man that wants you will not let you get away
Amen 🙏🏾
100%
yes so true!!
How come he wanted me for six months and then changed his mind?! So mean!
Yes
This will also show if a man is genuinely interested in you at all. I was causally seeing a guy and i noticed that he was extremely arrogant and could come across as rude and careless with his mouth.
One day he said something very rude to me and I called him out on it respectfully. He acted as if he didn’t understand how someone could be offended by his comments so i stopped talking to him. He ended up working his hardest to reel me back in via text and when i finally replied he “ghosted” me 😂. I let him ghost and moved on with my life. 2 months later he comes back trying to communicate with me. From there i blocked him completely. He was just trying to play games and needed something to play with. A man that is genuinely interested isn’t going to go 2 months without talking to you to punish you for something HE did. Stay strong ladies! The streets are WILD
Wow!!!
Going through this right now omg and I love tf outta him it's killing me he was like my best friend 😭 but I gotta stand up for me
Truth
@@msmeshaambitious9249 Be careful some guys are psychopath they enjoy hurting women. There are fine men out there, dont waste your time with pathological people who may need medication not a girlfriend.
@@msmeshaambitious9249if you wouldn’t treat him like that or hurt him like how he’s doing you, then release him from the best friend title. The title you’re giving him is putting him on a pedestal making it hurt more because he’s filling that spot. Free yourself so God can send you a loving man and you can heal.
Did all of that, I broke and jumped ship after 5 years of marriage. There is NO reasoning with a Fool. The manipulation is real. Ladies, run and don’t look back. You’re unequally yoked.
Me too. 5 years. I was sick when I found out what he was doing.
Whew this the comment I was looking for. Don’t be fooled bad company corrupts good character. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. Proverbs 26:11
Your right!! I’ve seen this for myself
Depends on the man. Some men can & will change.
I’m guilty as charged, my girl of 4 years left me back in August 2023 and I never thought she would leave. She also cut off all communication completely and it’s like we never existed together. It’s been devastating to say the least. I’ve certainly taken a hard look within and realize I have many things I need to work on and be a more accountable responsible man.
That’s the first step, work on yourself. Good for you on having the humility to do so. 👍🏽
I'm sorry for your loss. But, it seems an even greater gift of insight and introspection awaited you on the other side. It's great that you can take responsibility and learn from this. I think all men and women can benefit from taking accountability and remedial steps to improve their own lives and the lives of others who must rely on them. I wish you great growth and progress toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships that you'll be better equipped to value and sustain. 💪💜
You men always wanna take accountability after they break up with you 🤣
This made my year seeing a man admit this and accept accountability
What is this WORK ON YOURSELF stuff? We're you born doing wrong things, or you don't want to take accountability and responsibility for your actions? Everybody is working and finding themselves 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm willing to lose a man to lose him. If he wants to be lost, he can be lost. Byeeeeee
It bothers me that some women are too desperate and undisciplined to check a man when he doesn’t behave and STAND ON IT. We have to be willing to get quiet or withdraw our presence sometimes. Most men understand ACTIONS so Tony is telling us to be clear verbally sooo….quit talking so much and MAKE A MOVE! We suffer and don’t create the type of relationships that we desire because WE DON’T have a backbone. It makes me sad and I hurt for ladies that refuse to do it. This technique even has to be used in marriage so…LADIES, you might as well adopt this mindset and approach now and START using it. Don’t be scared- speak truth to love IN YOUR POWER. Don’t ever be scared to walk away when he doesn’t get the lesson either.💜 Be Blessed💕
You said it they're too desperate and don't let the guy be "cute."
Respectfully, I totally understand your position, however some Grown Boys don’t handle Rejection that well so you have to be CAREFUL with your movements.
Unfortunately, for me, my cash is not where it needs to be because I’m helping my daughter with her (third yr) college tuition @ Howard University, for nursing so it’s not that easy to change phones numbers etc.
Please 🙏🏽 note, I’m Not Making excuses, I’m just trying to make smart decisions so I can remain Safe. Do I think he will hurt me, No but you Never know what a Grown boy will do when he’s hurt.
I’m off to work;
Happy New Year 🥳 Beloved…
I find that it gets hard for me to do this, stand up for myself, because these guys will typically have treated me the best, and I’m not used to that treatment. So do I basically have to treat this dating and marriage thing as a game? I haven’t been in a healthy or any kind of relationship for that matter and I’m 29 next month but I’m desperately trying to learn for myself.😭
I agree with everything you said sis! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾I simply WILL NOT stand to be mistreated!! NEVER EVER! You will respect me and treat me right or I will MAKE A MOVE!
Your POV is true but there are also women who weren't informed of this. No one taught them their worth. No one explained the dynamic between men and women. They leaned what they do know by their environment or tv. I recently had a woman tell me how she was so insecure she thought something was wrong with her bc she wasn't matching her bra & panties with her nail polish as her them bf requested her to do. His friend's wives were doing it so she thought she wa falling short. Well he was a narcissistic and the wives were damaged.
It is not something we are all born knowing.
I left him and he got with someone else. One of the worst heartbreaks I’ve ever had, but it revealed his true intentions and character.
I know how you feel, but this is what you have to be ok with. They will move on and so will you.
What you just said in 10 minutes could shield many women from years of wasted time, energy, emotions and resources. Thank you.
If you are not being treated with dignity and respect do not be afraid to walk away! 🎯 There is power in walking away! 🙌🏾 Thank you, Tony for your life changing-content.
Absolutely!
Walk!🚶♀️ 😂
5:10
You had better listen 👂🏽 up LADIES!
Absolutely no lies being told here.
I had one show up at my then apartment with my back then single self he was banging on my door 🚪 after someone let him in in a building where you had to be buzzed in.
I didn’t buzz him in.
I was not answering his phone calls so he took it upon himself to just SHOW 🆙
But…..he was a grown self centered narcissistic boy and not responding to him angered him.
No real loss although initially I thought it would be.
Now 15 years married and happy with a grown man!
Moral of my story ladies is:
When you get sick AND tired 😴 you KNOW it’s time to let go! Wish em all the best but you gotta bounce!
Tony is telling the truth Ladies, been there and did it. if you try everything right and after that he doesn't want to change . Then walk away the relationship is over.
It hurts more to keep holding on to someone who doesn't want you, because if he did you wouldn't have to bend over backwards to protect his feelings and he doesn't respect your feelings. It's not that kind of partnership or relationship with anyone who doesn't want to respect your feelings. My grandmother told me actions speak louder than words. If you don't believe Tony and you are in a relationship like that watch the man's actions and once you walk away and give him space and see how he acts. Okay!
The Bible says a man is supposed to love, cherish, nourish, cleanse and purify his woman. If you love this man and respect him then you should not allow anything else.
Sure❤
This is speaking to Marriages...
He sent a new year resolution text. I still haven’t responded but decided my time is way more valuable. I’ve decided I’m not bringing him into this new year with me. He can’t go where I’m heading he’s a distraction. I’m focus right now and our principals aren’t the same .
You and me both, girl. Got things to do and places to be. No time for children. 😂😂
@emunique what a unique name! I know what you mean! I see ya! Same thing for me as well! I just wrote a letter stating that without saying it!
This is so true. I did this very thing with my friend/future husband about a year ago. I started off the conversation with “I’m willing to walk away from this friendship after we’re done talking if you are not willing to consider my feelings” He listened to what I had to say, he apologized and said he would do better and expressed that he wanted me in his life. It worked for us and we’re still going strong 💪🏾 I admit that I didn’t want to lose him because I had already fell in love with him, but I had to risk it just to see if I had a good thing ❤
Yes..I always say...if you tell a man once that something bothers you...he should change it...if he does it again...MAYBE he forgot or slipped up...if he does it a 3rd time...he doesn't care about you or your feelings...and I myself only give 2 chances...not 3..js
@@daisyhenry332 Right!
I'm a living witness of this! I packed my bags, rented a U-Haul, and moved 10 hours away to take a job that I really didn't want, but I had to prove my point. I was done talking, shouting, fussing, fighting and explaining simple logic and disrespect. My move put him in the dirt! I cried the whole drive there, but I felt liberated. The space afforded me the clarity I needed to take a step back and allow my disgust for him to grow. LOL Now, I don't want him anymore.
I'm willing to let him lose me. If I have to correct the behaviour more than 3 times for a significant offence the relationship is over. Grown boys will cry, beg, plead, show up at your house, apologize, blow your phone up just to repeat the same thing in less than a year, walking away is the only way they'll learn
Yep. Men only learn by consequences and rewards…After you’ve told them what you won’t tolerate and they continue to do so the only way they learn is reaping the consequences of their behavior. Ghosting has always worked for me every time. After 6 months he called me thinking everything was good and I told him I was not interested anymore. He wanted to know why I never called him back and wanted to start over. He said most women only want him because of his money. But all he did was talk about how lavish his lifestyle was and how much money he got and how his last GF was using him for his $. Yet he was going to take care of me. Right …ok… I couldn’t take him seriously. I knew he was saying it thinking I was going to be desperate to have him. I liked his personality that’s why I gave him a chance however I was turned off because he would never call me unless he wanted sex. I told him about this and said I don’t care about a man’s money as much as I wanted someone who’s loyal, loves God and has integrity and is consistent in their actions. I’m making my own money and I don’t ever depend on a man period. I don’t have it like him but I would rather get that lifestyle that I want on my own. That’s what I’m working on. If he is complaining about spending money he won’t spend it on me. Most BM that I’ve dealt with always talk about BW being gold diggers. More of us make more money. But Anyway. This is why I’ve always made it my business to get my own money and never depend on a BM. They always think like this yet they will give their incomes to other races and think it’s a flex. They don’t think BW deserve that lavish lifestyle. They have always been the ones who bring it up first with me. I get it …they know it gets our attention but it takes more than your money to get a good woman sweetheart lol….I don’t have time to entertain him because I’m assuming men like him like to use money to control women…that’s why he was talking about it all the time. For me it’s a turn off and I’m not tolerating it. If you want to support me do it because you want a stable relationship. I let him know If he was that type of man I would not deal with him. I have to see more of his behavior because I haven’t been around him long enough yet.
He thought that I would stay around because of his money and he was shocked that I never called him back.
I told him that I believed that he probably had other woman and when they didn’t work out he wanted to get back with me.
A man will do that. They will keep you stringing along until they find the one they want to marry or sleep with. I’m not waiting around for that. If that’s what he plans to do he will be shocked again. I’m not one to play with.
He denied it and said he was very busy and didn’t have time because of his real estate deals but enjoyed my company and wanted a real relationship. I told him a man will make time if he really cares for a woman. He asked me to be exclusive with him and I said I need more effort. I gave him another chance but I’m in control of the temperature of the relationship. I don’t ever call him first to show him I don’t need him like that so I purposely keep my distance. He travels all the time and I’m cool with that because I need my space. I want to show him I can do things without him because that’s what I was doing before he came along and If I see inconsistencies and lack of good character I will leave again . In the past, the reason I ghosted him was because I would text him and he wouldn’t text back unless it was about sex and It was always on his terms. He’s not a texter he likes to talk on the phone. I would FaceTime and he wouldn’t answer. When I didn’t answer he would FaceTime me to see where I’m at and I always answered. I figured he got another woman around. I’m looking like I’m too available which looks like I’m too desperate so I stopped responding because I thought that l’m getting played. When I called he would pick up on the first ring. He didn’t want me to see where he was but wanted to check where I was… ok…I thought that was weird so I stopped communicating altogether and figured he got another woman or playing games to test me. I have a lot of positive stuff going on so I don’t have time for games. I’m too busy improving myself and don’t need him for validation. To make up for his absence and to prove he is a man of his word he has agreed to renovate one of my real estate houses and we split the profits…but that’s no guarantee that I will stay with him. If his actions don’t improve and someone better comes along he will be ghosted again.
Girl don't split no profits with that man that is his punishment and what he should be doing to make it up to you, your doing good but you need to be more harsh no more nice girl make him renovate that house and get NOTHING and make him agree I guarantee if he wants you bad enough he will do it
@Fay1106 ok I will
@Fay1106 thanks for the advice
in less than a year? same DAY.
I walked away from a very very very long relationship. Got tired of talking and begging for change. It will be one year. He wants to get back together and apologize every chance he can, but I’m not going the best decision I’ve ever made I’m enjoying my peace and worry-free life.
I was dating this man who told me that I asked too many questions. How are we going to get to know each other without asking questions. He said I can tell you anything, you still wouldn’t know. I told him I have a father in heaven who will show it to me. We stop dating because he said I was too much for him. 🤦♀️
🚩He has a lot of major issues he is trying to hide. He is looking for a woman who is naive who won't ask him anything. Block him and don't look back
Our father sho nuff will always show and reveal it to us. You're so right about that! Bye bye sir.
Sounds like he was hiding stuff.
@@crazyfaithasia4614 and he was 66 years old, it’s crazy out here
He had a woman
Tony God told me the same thing - God said to me in a dream that if you message him and chase him, you will get a boy not a man-wait for him to message you.
No sex before marriage either because that gives the devil license to get into your relationship to cause problems.
💛💯💯💯
It’s been 6 days since I spoke to him and he’s freaking out. He called me four times yesterday, texts 3x and I have not responded! I don’t feel bad because he dug this hole for himself.
One thing about me. Any red flag or non negotiable disrespected especially in early dating= to me walking away..deleting and blocked. Not staying a sec longer to see how worse it gets from there. ✌🏾
That part!!! lol I am NOT playing! I’m ok single lol
Yes leave. If a man hurts you intentionally, it really doesn't = love! Find someone that DOES truly love and care for you and things will get better.
he didn’t change so i gathered my things & my 2 yr old & moved a couple states away. it’s been the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself. ppl can only take so much mental abuse before they snap & I refused to snap! I literally started from scratch & love the life I’ve created for my child & I. ☺️
I also left to a new state with my 2 year old
I did the same. I almost got charged for kidnapping even though it was domestic. Good luck with everything, ladies.
How did you manage this? You must've had a great job. I've Been trying to start over for 10 years now with no success. Please tell me your secret.
I have a husband and he knows I will walk away from his azz if he ever tries me. He literally knows this. I have no loyalty to anyone but myself. Respect me and you'll naturally get that respect back. Women are the divine feminine. Protect your nature and peace.
I had a friend tell me that implementing these exact principles from Brother Tony was playing mind games, no ma'am. Teaching people how to treat you in all types of relationships, business, and personal is how to build healthy relationships.
I like Dr. Umar style of teaching. Very repetitive to drive home the point nobody wants to get.
Dr. Umar is NOT a GODLY man of good character. He is a well known womanizer and as woman we have to stop taking advice from grow boys giving advice they DO NOT follow.
I agree. “IF” you’re solely using this tactic to “keep a man” it’s manipulation. If you walk away it has to be because of a reason outside of trying to keep a man. You leave with the notion of NEVER returning.
@@Erica-cf1xb this not a Dr. Umar video
Sooo Agree
Tony is telling the absolute truth. Back in 2022 I was dealing with a guy and he went ghost for a day so when he reached out I didn't respond..he sent like 10 messsges and I never replied until the next day and I said what I needed to say in that message. Lol you got to find your voice and just be okay being alone. Having a man isn't the end all be all especially if he isn't treating you right! Let's listen to Tony more and implement his strategies bc they work! I even practice my Liam Neeson voice sometimes 😂
💯 Sis! Being alone won’t kill you, but being with the wrong man, just might! 😬 I will not, and be mistreated! I know my worth, and whom I belong to! If you come at me, you gotta come at me right or I will walk away!
I will not be giving any man a half dozen times to correct his behavior, I'm sorry.
My guy cheated one, I asked him about it, he lied and thought he could play in my face. I left and gave not returned, that's been 6 months ago.
My cut off game so strong, I act like you never existed.
Tony, I’ve applied this in the beginning part of my relationship and I have not had to apply this since. I’ve been with my now finance going on 3 years. We got engaged in year 2, this year we are getting married!🎉 I don’t know my father, and I don’t talk to my brothers about dating, relationships or relationship tips. Therefore, your videos and principals that are rooted in Christ help me ALOT! Thanks Tony ❤
Congratulations🎉 Tony’s like brother/father we never had 😊
@@carlyc9891 absolutely! Thank you ♥️
Amen. Congratulations 🎉 and God Bless you both 🙏🏾
@@nathifablanchfield8925 thank you 🙏🏼 ♥️
By us keeping our legs closed..it's keeping us away from the wrong ones. Easy way to chase whoever didn't come to stay. Be blessed.
Very true 👍👍
Very true
You ain’t lied! After 2 years of doing this is ain’t worth it. It’s been almost 1 month no contact and like he said it’s over by then. It hurts but once you find out you’ve been dealing with a grown boy faking as a grown man it’s better to find out sooner than having a baby or waste 5-10 years of your life chile 😮💨
Heavy on having a baby because once you do that, you're tied to the person for life.
I been w mine 11 years and have 5 children. He convinced me to be a stay at home mom and home school so now I have no money to get up and leave. I was young and dumb back then. But I'm tired of the mental and emotional abuse. Time to get to the drawing board on this one SMH 😮💨😐
Good afternoon ❤ just wanted to tap in, once I started LISTENING … I lost him and I’m ok ! It’s sinking in everyday for both of us … I just got audio message this morning of him taking accountability and how he’ll always be willing to work it out with me. Mwah, no reply 💯 because I started listening to TG and putting my faith in GOD💯🙏🏽 I pray peace, consistency, and discipline for anyone struggling with denying access!!
When he messes up, do I tell him that I need an hour break or a day or two. Or do we just do it with communicating our actions.
Yes, I did that with my husband, he came playing games. I left and he changed overnight. I didn’t argue I said what I meant and meant what I said. He respected me not letting him do whatever he wanted to do.
So true. I finally started listening to you last year after man years. I’m 27 I was in an abusive relationship. Finally left. 2 weeks later bumped into my man we’ve been together almost a year and it’s amazing. I showed him I was willing to lose him during the first week when he told me he would call me and he didn’t. I canceled the date and everything. He called me immediately and apologized and said he was taken back because he’s never had anyone check him like that before. I told him it was a respect thing, and to never tell me he’s going to do something and not do it.
So he basically saw you as one of a kind/high value woman for checking him like that? Was he turned off by it at all?
Yep! It works! 🎉 They are totally flabbergasted sb checking on them right away 💖
@@raedyyy Try it dear! Yes he is turned off that you checked him! Let him be upset and see if he steps up to meet your standard. And then…if he wants you enough, he will come back and apologize and do the right thing. If a man finds out that you’re soft, that he can get away with a lot and that he can disrespect you, your entire relationship will be full of disrespect and you will loose your self esteem/worth and your voice/opinions in the relationship. Work on your confidence and THEN try this.
What did you say when you cancelled the date ?
You met your husband. Congratulations!
Ladies Tony’s advice on this works! I had to use this with my new boyfriend over the Christmas holiday (verbal warning) and New Years ( he tested me one more time and i made it clear that I was absolutely willing to walks away and also physically demonstrated). There were a few tough days for me when I asked if I was being too rough but I’m glad i didn’t cave. He has taken the correction and has now committed to being the man I’ve fallen in love with. We are better now and have a deeper understanding of each other than before the conflict. When I started to see some problematic behaviors that needed to be checked I was so glad I had this advice in my arsenal. Never be afraid to reinforce healthy boundaries, kindness and genuine respect. You are worth it!
❤️
How long did you distance yourself from him
Kept going backing several times after weeks of not talking, my hope kept me in the loop for far too long. I’m not wasting another year on a promiscuous man. I’m done.
I had to emotionally detach myself from him and he knew it and he didn’t like it at all 😂but he’s back and we’re good
This is straight ABA behavior therapy/conditioning 😂 definitely works👏🏾
Worse part is knowing they won’t like it if you treat them the same way 😮
Amen❤! Yes, I did this to my ex. 6 months, and he is back. Time has shown me that he will try this again. Thru coaching he is not my husband. NEXT....
😂😂😂
Yep! Married to the man I walked away from for 2 months and he came back crawling lol. Been married every since! Ultimately the woman is the prize, which is why you have to be able to leave if need be! When a man knows you can and will leave him if he falls out of line then he will come correct every time!
“Her presence is reinforcing the behavior.” TG
I did it the right way , this is what I said. I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I don't see a future with us as a couple. Our values don't align. I'm just not ready for this level of intimacy. I respect you enough to be honest with you. I wish you the best.
Sound advice. Completely agree! You teach people how to treat you. The worse thing for a woman is when a man knows she ain’t going no where.
Yes! Fell for silent treatment as punishment time after time….instead of walking away and acting unbothered I kept pursuing/reacting 🤬
This tactic as punishment is a sing of narcissism! Block white being “punished” he gon be shocked to see he’s blocked when he finally call lmao
I’m going through this right now, what should I do,
@@mariono244 it’s called stonewalling and it’s a form of manipulation and abuse! I don’t want to tell you what to do but you can’t have a healthy relationship without communication. I broke up with my ex because of this plus he also had other narcissistic traits.
thank you for your feedback, i want to break it off as it's affecting my mental health and he won't pick up my calls...it's a complete transformation from his behaviour 3 weeks ago, learning alot@@gracie2367
@@gracie2367 thank you so much. I blocked him today and have walked away
TG know the game! Man I was like he literally is saying exactly what us men do. I give Christ glory daily that I can improve and grow with one woman that I married 3 years ago. Keep dropping them 💎 TG👊🏾
All respect to Tony, cos he repeats himself so many times and never gets tired it! 🙌🏽
Like all great fathers ❤
Yep. He's touched on this before.
Oh he gets tired. 😂 he just grown grown. Do what he gotta do.
He has said this so many times I know he’s gotta be tired of saying it, but he’s doing God‘s work, so he keeps pressing on!
I left my grown boy even before I heard about Tony so when I found out about Tony a few months after I ended it; it was just confirmation! I don’t have time to deal with toddlers! I’m too old to deal with toddlers!
Well, this is his job lol
This is so true. Im dating someone that wanted to act casual when we first met, but yet have a "serious" relationship. No, he just didn't want me to Date others and keep me on the hook. I spoke to him once, and he tried to do it again. I never said anything and left him alone. The effort he now puts in to show me that im a priority is far above what he tried to do. Keep your standards. I am not scared or worried of being single. So, anything that doesn't make me happy in a relationship needs to go.
Yep, I don't get why so many people play games! Life is real out here!
They never stop …. it never ends. Know thyself.
& the rules doesn’t change whether you’re single dating or married. At any point in the relationship when you start being disrespected and not valued you need to be capable of walking away. Love my husband to life but if he ever straits treating me crazy I’m GONE. that’s the energy you have to have about yourself
If a Man choose to leave me I'll be ok never tripping.
one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is you have to be willing to walk way for *peace* , for your mental health. A man has once…maybe twice to show me he does not care about me & im out. boy bye. 🙂
When I finally left, years later my guy now is going to all the lengths to fight for me and I’m still holding my ground …the ball is in my court and I’m not sure he deserves me now 💁🏽♀️ so it’s very real…I was a do girl for all my early 20s but now that I’m 29 I’m not having any of it…my dating life is working out fine for me now 🎉
Oh wow years? How many years later until he contacted you?
Yes sis how long did it take for him to come back?
@@Wewereneveryoung a year or so but it wasn’t until I was completely happy with myself and it showed…I was moving on in my career ect
This is so true... Sadly I had to go to my daughter's for a week to get my husband to understand I wasn't just talking. We been Beautiful since.
We were together 4 yrs and he cheated.. I stayed away then started seeing him on and off.. i decided not to see him anymore in Dec. I deserve so much better then he was offering.. i went from being his woman for 4 yrs to FWB.. naw I’m good.. haven’t seen nor talked to him since December.. I miss him a lot.. But I Miss ME more..
Distance can be 1 day, 1 week, 1 year or forever.
Tony is saying the same thing as he's been saying for years I have applied this to my relationships and The man do straighten up if you stick to your guns. Or they move on saying you tripping
Listening to Tony Gaskins helped me get out of a very toxic relationship. I'm now happy and at so much peace.
AMEN. You can not put a price on peace.
It's called not being desperate & having standards. Very simple.
Listen ladies Tony’s advice is great but know this too, your womanly instincts is better!!! I don’t play games in order to try and keep, get or lose a man!!! If it happen it just one of them things… cause I ALWAYS GO IN with good intentions looking for something REAL, if he show me that’s not who he is or what he really want, I might stay for a little bit in order to make sure… but once I walk… I’m gone for good!! And that’s not me trying to keep him interested or anything like that, is just how my own heart works… if I fall for you based on how we met and that doesn’t stay consistent, I lose interest and be ready to move on anyway!!! My attention span in relationships is not all that good… once YOU allow my focus elsewhere , you begin to disappear rather quickly!! And that’s on you!!! I’m faithful and loyal to a fault and yet God made an self save mechanism inside that always comes thru by itself! No games just know when you’ve had enough
Amen. This is too much mental gymnastics to navigate. I'm good. Why would I want to be with someone I have to play all these mind games with? I don't need a relationship just for relationship sake.
I’m that same, once I walk away from someone I’m gone for good. I only walk away once that includes friends and jobs. I just don’t return to anything or anyone I’m done with, when I’m DONE I’m DONE. Which is probably why I’m single, men don’t keep my attention for too long.
Right. Beginning with good intentions and authenticity. Dating and relationships have too many games.
Ladies this is why u gotta Learn the power of block. Delete. And move on. Block and move at the first red flag and bs. And also express your turn off
Mr. Gaskins is speaking all truth. I applied this to my life in Feb 2023 and stopped all communication with a lying always mis-communicating man. It was not easy after a 3 year relationship but now that I am on the other side I realize how necessary moving on was for my own self-love. I know my value, I feel lighter, I have clarity, and I am at peace. The relationship was a distraction. I had to understand that what God has for me will ADD to my peace not take from it! Thank you TG for dropping 💎💎💎!🙏🏽
I broke up with mine last Friday and made a new FB, blocked his phone. I can't stand liars....
I was convicted of having sex with my boyfriend. It left me uneasy every-time we did it and I talked to God about convicting my bf so he would not want to have sec until marriage. We talked about marriage and we’re moving into those steps, even did marriage classes. God said he’s knows he’s not supposed to but you have to have the conversation. So I said God if this conversation about waiting until marriage breaks up, I accept that because I want to do it right. We broke up that night, I failed my class because I didn’t submit my final that night, and we haven’t spoke in 2 years since. I’m happier than ever! God is good. Don’t be afraid to loose him.
I believe God will send you the man he has created for you because you were obedient to God I'm proud of you! 😁
Yeah I had to cut off communication December 1st 2023 because things have been to out of control for ...2 years! I cut it of suddenly with no convo because ive already said the same stuff for too long and it was just time for some real action and just leave . I'm hurting yes 6 weeks later because i want him to fight for me, and he hasn't but I'm staying committed to whats right
Left January 1st! He’s wasn’t giving me what needed to be given!!! He knew what he had and my intuition is so strong I know he will be back because he loves me. But what past trauma will do to a man is crazy. I love him but I love me more. If he’s willing to move past that trauma we will work beautifully but if not he will have no access to me in anyway!!!!! Im just done with the waiting game. I feel he needs to experience my absence so he can really feel the lost.
I wanted to comment on this because I have the exact same dynamic with my man. Trauma caused him to leave and come back MULTIPLE times. Each time I just let go and allowed him to return to build trust. HOWEVER, he's reached the point where he knows he needs help, so full accountability kicked in. He recently disrespected me and our relationship (out of trauma) and this time I completely cut him off. First time doing that. He got the message and is making all kinds of changes now.
All of that to say, Tony's advice is sound regardless of the issues involved. You got this! 😊
Yea my current situation. I believe part of our difficulty is his son’s mother messed him up but I totally opposite of her and would never do half the things she’s done to him. I’ve proved myself enough so I’ve got to leave him since he won’t make me a priority.
@amoywaid8907 With all due respect, RUN! He'll only drain your energy.
Omg Tony you are so right. You are a 1000% right Tony. I kept quite for 16yrs out of fear of losing him. Then one day I woke up and put his ass out. It's been 9months and I've never been at peace. I denied all access to me and he is maddddddd😂
I remember you taught this lesson yearssss ago and let me tell you! The ones I USED to do the most to keep (🤮) took full advantage of that desperation. The ones I set boundaries with and was willing to walk away from were astonished lol and usually had a hard time letting me go, even if they didn’t want to live up to my standards. That’s how Sabrina snagged Idris. She was willing to leave him.
Hmmmmm
Get told I’m mean all of the time by men b/c I’m not afraid to detach or express my disdain (calmly with facts and not from emotions). Some I never hear from again, most do come back but now there is respect, which I value more than love and they are much more emotionally vulnerable.
Thank you. That’s it it’s a wrap. !!!!!
My ex came back after 1 year of NC. Was dating for 4 weeks then found out he was speaking to another girls. Ended it straight away and said am not an option. Walked away and it hurts but have to put myself first.
He is right. You do have to teach some men and women how to treat you. If I leave, I'm not coming back.
After 2yrs of inconsistency, I decided to ghost. No conversation, just done. It’s been a year now. Saw his dating profile, lying about his age and all his pics show him with smokes and drinks. Realised, I did the right thing, he will never change and not missing out on anything. You’re right, never go back.
I just got a little upset all over again. Men can be very petty, no matter the age. I'm getting too old for nonsense, pushing 40. Nope! I refuse to deal with any child like behaviors. Pick up your toys and hush all 2024 & beyond. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Value your peace and self-wroth over a relationship or the prospect of having a family. I that's when you know that things will be okay no matter what. At least that's the big lesson I learned going into 2024..
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 Yes🙌🏾
I am in the process of breaking up with a man I really love with my heart.
It is necessary because he is not listening and I have to leave for myself. If it does not come back, I will understand.
Good luck and you deserve better. I am currently thinking about leaving the relationship i am in for the same reason. He won't listen and won't see he has someone who loves and cares about him. He comes from a toxic and abusive family. I am not like that. And i am not a free therapist.
@queenartly3323 hello queen I am overseas and dating, but I see this person only wants money and a ticket to the USA. I was gullible once, not again.
Also, you deserve better as well
I’m right there with you Sis! Im so in love with this man but he’s not contacted me for 3 days or me saying he doesn’t love me. He’s just not making me feel secure at all. I love him from a place I thought never existed but now I must let him go. We went out two Saturdays ago dancing with his friends he drank I didn’t but he commenced to telling me in my ear he’s so in love with me but I don’t feel as a priority in his life which I’ve discussed that with him so now I have to put action of me leaving our realationship to his lack of attention.
You know what you talking about Tony😂
Point blank periiiioood‼️😆
Women PLUUUHHEEZ do not cry, scream, kick, write a long text to try to keep a man! If that man TRULY wants YOU🫵🏼…He will do what it takes to keep you! Trust God and not your emotions💝
See ya! Sir please slide to left, you’re blocking the view for my husband ✌️
Tony isn't lying. After being constantly abused & stalked I had to switch jobs twice, change my #, call the cops & get a restraining order. Ladies leave the FIRST time he tries you DON'T go back.
Wow
You have to realize u don’t need a man only desired one as I did inner work watch these coaches online I didn’t need no therapy this is it and from experience I know what I won’t tolerate
God is healing me and letting me be complete without a man. Oh God thank you. Women you need to be happy even when you are single.
I have followed all your advice and it works 100%. However, when a man is deeply insecure with weak character and mental health issues as well, it isn’t a good idea to continue.
He pushed me to my limits and then ended it because I wouldn’t accept the crumbs I was being given …. 2 months now…. He’s gone and I don’t think he will ever realise and come back
His loss, tony is saying YOU have to end it
Oh...he's coming back. They all do ? Is what are you going to do?
I just have to keep on going forward and leave it in gods hands 💜 he said some unforgivable things when he couldn’t get his own way and I left the conversation because I couldn’t take anymore painful words. There was more but I’ve never read any of it to this day… I saw hearts and apologies on my notifications but I just couldn’t face the reality of him and me no longer being in each others lives. I’ve never felt so broken and lost.
Then he wasn't the one and be thankful because he saved you some wasted time.
@@rach777 Girl that guy sounds like a demon. No more tears or frustrations.
Definitely true! I was in a long distance relationship for 9 years. I would break up with him often and leave and eventually try again. We got married and I filed for divorce less than 2 years. It got worse in marriage and I realized he ain’t for me.
After 12 yrs of marriage I am literally packing my stuff right now interesting this came up
Wow! Stay safe!
I Thank God for opening my eyes and letting me know I don't have to settle for a toxic relationship with a man. Also, 😮 I let Go and let God handle it.
Also, I am happier than I ever have been without allowing myself to no longer compromise with toxic men to make me happy. I am stronger and wiser. I wait until God sends me a real man and not a boy. So, I walked away.
I learned it's better to put my trust in God and not be relied on by a toxic man. I know what I need and not what I want.
God bless me to set boundaries and standards and I do now. Thank God for blessing me.
🌻
Tony is very right. Being with a toxic man is such a prison. Letting him know you aren't scared of loosing him and walking away is something we should do in case of narcists and manipulative men.
After being 4 years by myself I finally decided to talk to someone then date 3 months after we talked it was going very well until he disappeared out of thin air and stop calling stop texting and everything and I still don't know until this day what I've done or said for him to just walk away for no reason. Its so weird to me i just dont know so i just left him alone. My feelings hurt but its all good. I went through it im use to it 👍🏾👍🏾
You didn’t do anything sis. He probably had other options and picked one of them and instead of being honest he just ghosted. Pray about it, and then bury the dead.🪷
@@Joylove329 I agree 💯❤️👍🏾
I have lived this! You must teach people how to treat you! And if he really wants you the behavior will change, I have boundaries and I keep them and teach them…and his behavior did change!!!❤🎉
Lucky you. Hopefully it stays that way
OMG….
This was so AWESOME 🤴🏾 I have to watch this AGAIN because I’m dealing with this RIGHT NOW;
I ended my engagement two days again and he has been so Overwhelming to the point, it’s giving me headaches while I’m at work because he wouldn’t stop texting and calling 🤦🏽♀️
Jesus, Fix It….🙏🏽
block his #
@@rosedevereux2391 ~~~> I did that and now he’s calling me from different numbers 🤦🏽♀️
I’m seriously, thinking about moving. I hate to say it BUT I’m getting to get scared.
Block that boy abeggg. Before he makes you ill with his incessant calls.
Thankful the Lord delivered me from all of what you talked about (arguing, fighting, etc.) nothing but toxic! Yes and through all that the Lord showed me the power of letting go. It’s almost like in order to get what God really has for you whether it be in that person or not it can’t happen until you are willing to let go. This takes on a whole ‘nother dimension with God because of the intentional decision to put it in His hands and ultimately trust Him with it. Thank you Jesus. 🙌🏽👏🏽
I want to let go too but not after his dad hurt me psychologically 😡
Beautifully said ❤️
@svasianphilippinesgo6858 so now you will stay?
@t7cooley that's great! Then what happened?
@@Kashmir-lt4cx Then what?God doesn’t change. 😃
Thank you, Tony you helped me get married. Our anniversary is next month.
Tony, these grown boys are going to be mad with you. You're speaking facts 💯 🙏🏽
I am pretty sure there is ALMOST nothing he wouldn't do to have me back. Instead, he gets to see me continue to do life from a distance because he played me out of his, and now there is no point; no point to return to...
I once told a man I was going to have to block him so I could get over him. He asked me if I’d ever blocked anyone before and I said no. He was blocked and I bet he’s miserable. So am I but I’ll never go back…… I TEACH 😊
Thank you tony! I’m 25 years old and just started dating. I want to make sure that I’m becoming the best woman with morals and standards!
if you are not married, you keep your legs closed. nuff said.
Tony, you would be so proud of how I'm handling my situation. I was ghosted but now he's trying to come back. I was going to hear him out because you did have a video where you said a man could come back for heart. He tried to play dumb like he didn't ghost me. I told him to "come correct" or he might as well not see me ever again.
A man ghosted you, and you know he ghosted you, and you are still dealing with him? 🤦🏾♀️
He should be blocked. Why are you still talking to him?
Packing on my stuff as we speak! Headed to the airport. ✈️
If he walks away because I stood my ground then he wasn’t it to begin with. Excellent message Tony 💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Letting go.especially from.a person is one of my hardest areas but am.improving everyday
The power of walking away has saved my life many times. Silence works miracles, be it 72h rule/2weeks or more.. Level of crazy is - when you get punished for it later on. Run🏃🏻♀️