What Are the Four Attachment Styles? Understand Now!
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
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In this video, Thais Gibson takes us through each of the 4 attachment styles and their characteristic traits. Whether you're new to attachment theory or looking for a succinct recap, watch now to discover the dynamics of both secure and insecure attachment styles.
This includes the secure attachment style, anxious attachment style (anxious preoccupied attachment style), dismissive avoidant attachment style (avoidant attachment style) and the fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style).
To learn more, explore the empowering course, "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs," for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your transformative journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:46 - What Is Attachment Theory
00:01:03 - Attachment Style #1: Securely Attached
00:04:08 - Attachment Style #2: Anxious Preoccupied
00:06:42 - Attachment Style #3: Dismissive Avoidant
00:09:42 - Attachment Style #4: Fearful Avoidant
00:13:17 - Attachment Style Quiz
00:14:04 - Conclusion
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
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I think this is a much healthier way to look at people bc it has become too common to label almost everyone we struggle in a relationship with a “narcissist” . It’s overplayed I think. We all have an attachment style and we can do some deep research and inner healing with this information. As well as better understand those we are or have been in relationship with. I’m so glad I saw this ❤
So true!
Absolutely true!
I love how your explanation of how childhood issues impact this!!
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❤the updated versions of the 2020 videos. We’ve progressed together 💗
Thank you for your support over the years!
Yes I remember 2020 😊
On Chapter 3 of PDS new book Learning Love ❤️ Learning Attachment Styles, core wounds Reprogramming and Communication has transformed my life and I'm grateful for @PersonalDevelopmentSchool and my willingness and perseverance today ❤
This is one of the very best videos on self-awareness and I have watched hundreds:). This is pure gold. Thank you!!🙏
Thank you so much.
Excellent summary, Thais. Thank you!
Such a succinct explanation. We appreciate this.
Many thanks.
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Trying to find my attachment style! I'm kind of confused about which one i am. I always get fearful on tests, which i do have some signs of, but i don't have many signs of it nor do i have the sort of upbringing that would probably produce a fearfully attached person. I recognize myself tons in the anxious attachment, but i never have problems being alone, since i have a need for alone time. I barely see myself in the avoidant, but i do have a fear of losing my independence, even if i feel emotionally dependent on my relationships.
Growing up i had good, encouraging parents. But of course they had their flaws. My sister had a medical condition diagnosed when we were small kids, so i got less attention, which kind of hit me like a truck at the time. My parents kind of just didn't really worry about me, because my teachers were only saying good things about me and i seemed to be doing well. I was praised alot, but also expected to be more mature than other children. My mother often had trouble keeping promises, for example, we'd often beg her to play with us(our parents didn't play with us that much, either they were doing household chores or were tired and cranky from work) and she'd promise to, but forget. She would also threaten us with abandonment when we were younger, especially if we were in public. My father was definitely a bit more authoritative. He showed less affection as we got older, though it was obvious he loved us. There was some one sided resentment towards him tho. He'd at times joke about leaving us to take care of our brother, which he at times did(sometimes for even hours) because he was busy, was addicted to a legal drug my whole childhood(though it never really affected our relationship, i was still worried he'd become more addicted or move onto more serious addictions like alcohol), often supervised us irresponsibly or didn't at all, demanded respect instead of it being earned and would purposefully not comfort us when we were crying when we were infants.
I had some other traumas during my childhood, though not tied to my parents. I got bullied from ages six to ten, was constanly outcasted in school due to my autism which was undiagnosed at time and was abandonded by friends about six times during the course of my childhood.
I show undeniable signs of anxious attachment, like people-pleasing, abandonment issues, rejection sensitivity, a crave for connection, being very sensitive and a need for external validation. I have some signs of fearful, like switching between love and hate for loved ones alot, being able to notice changes in peoples behaviour a lot, looking for signs of rejection in relationships, having some issues with trust, having a fear of intimacy but also craving it, and overgiving in relationships if i sense any signs if rejection. As i said, i barely have any signs of avoidant, so i'm kind of confused. Anxious fits me, but i have no trouble being alone and i have no anxiety when being separated from loved ones. Fearful kind of fits, but a lot of signs of fearful attachment are also signs of avoidant, which i barely have any signs of, and i've already ruled out avoidant. I'm not able to use the "This view of others + this view of myself" format because my image of others and myself fluctuates way too much to be able to categorize it, and i can't go by the " able or unable to get needs met by myself + able or unable to get needs met by others" format, since i don't even know what my needs are.
thank you so much for your videos! I'm always wondering, is it a tiny bit more healthy, if I start to be more open to my anxious patterns, whereas before I was only avoidant and thought I don't need anyone? is moving from avoidant to anxious a sign of going in the directioon to secure? 😅 because at least you start to have hope for relating with people, where as before you didn't even saw it as an option.
Happy Thanksgiving PDS💜🦃😊
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Now I can't stop thinking that I'm like Katy Perry's "Hot & Cold" song's inspiration
Hi Thais, I’ve been going through a period of dealing with post infidelity stress disorder and am trying to reconcile with my husband, his infidelity has caused me to become anxious pre-occupied where I was leaning more secure prior to his infidelity (it was 5 years ago, I was suspicious for 4 years and then he confessed a year ago, I’ve been in therapy since) can our attachment be altered and dictated by circumstances in our adult lives too? I believe he is fearful avoidant, Thanks ❤
Clearly communicated. Well illustrated. Invaluable information. ❤Thank you, Thais! ❤
Ok ,I'm guessing I'm most likely an anxious attachment style, at least.
You did a video for me. Thank you. I thought I was all screwed up with all the other attachment styles but I scored a secure attachment style on your test. But can a secure attachment style person get fooled into a relationship by a dark empath, covert narcissist, bpd or anxious/fearful avoidant
Or did I grow into a secure attachment style because I learned so much about relationships/and people?
@@bayareaprepper I think it's hard to say what went into the soil of our minds. Perhaps a combination of both nature and experience? I also scored as securely attached on the tests, yet grew up in an alcoholic home. My mother, always there, loving, supportive, etc, probably saved me.
@@GeoffreyAngapa I agree. I also think that degradation of morals is strengthening our morals and it is probably a good thing we seen or experienced the soil, water and sun as well as the storms and earthquakes we have been through. Stay strong and open on your journey brother. Glad we are in the same classroom! Happy Thanksgiving!
Wise words, my friend. And thank you. Be strong on your journey too! Happy Thanksgiving!
I got FA from the test, but looking at my childhood, can relate more to DA and AP. There were inconsistencies and lack of emotional support. Not so much chaos, nor substance abuse. My mom did experience some emotional distress when I was young. Also my parents didn’t fight much and had a fairly healthy relationship and still do. Did I get FA because I can relate to those two different styles? When listening to other info on FA I can relate to many characteristics… just not so much the childhood home.
FA is literally a combination of DA and AP.
Thais, your videos have helped tremendously in my marriage. Thank you for all the effort. Please allow me to point out something unrelated and rest assured that I do not intend to offend you. Please lose the voice 'fry'... it is so annoying to the degree that I stopped watching your videos then came back again because you're the best on this topic. And like you, I'm an FA and my husband a DA 😂... so you've really helped a lot here.
And Teach, why do people that have hurt attachment styles don't want to learn about getting better?
First like First comment 😊 sincerely yours Fearful-Dismissive Avoidant 💜
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Off topic but maybe someone can elaborate or may know the video for my question...
Secure attachment here.
I have had two friendships with anxious p. attachments and both times they would contact me and ask how I'm doing and so on. I answer fully and friendly ask what they are up to...Then they don't respond until they want something else a month or so later. When asked they forgot to answer.
Is this testing something or dissociating or see if I care and ask whats wrong, or is this everything is fine I can now take my attention back to my partner that is my first and most important focus??
Just curious what behavior this was..
APs tend to be very needy which makes them seek out ways to get their various needs met from multiple sources (in your case it sounds like they needed a place to vent. On a deeper level, they have a strong need to control everyone and everything around them, which is why they tend to want their partners to abandon their relationships with other people. In your case with them leaving and popping back up again, they probably wanted to make sure you were still around. They get a high out of knowing people they don't care much about are (somewhat) dependent to them.
According to Psychologists, majority of Narcissistic people have Anxious Attachment
Makes me think of adhd. My anxious friends who did that had also adhd and they just got distracted and forgot to text back. But if you text them they get fully interested again. And also some people are just not texters. But if you are secure you could just talk about it.
@@user-js4mt1nr2y Narcissistic people and Psychopaths tend to be misdiagnosed as having ADHD. They do not have ADHD. They are just too self-Centred to care about what does not spark their interest.
@@sifublack192Interesting take. I’m AP and while I agree I’m needy, I certainly don’t want to control everyone around me. I do want to be somewhat of a priority to my partner though, as I will prioritize them above my other relationships.
My reaction to the question was to think it’s likely the AP friends sought support from multiple people in a time of need, and kind of “went with” the first person to respond.
I can’t explain the no reply thing though… I tend to put a lot of effort into maintaining relationships, even those which are “over”. I still get along well with my exes. In fact I spent six hours yesterday helping my son work on his mom’s car. I don’t expect anything in return from her except maybe a “thank you”.
Furst.
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What u r saying is good, but u may need 2 slow down a bit.❤