Why Gifted People Don't Feel Gifted
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- čas přidán 13. 05. 2023
- Struggle to identify as gifted? In this video I discuss the biggest reason intelligent people don't tend to feel intelligent.
#intelligent #gifted #genius
You enter a forest. Who's forest? Why are you here? As you walk through the narrow paths and try not to stumble over the vines, you realize there's something eerily familiar about this place. You've been here before. Many times. And then it hits you. The realization. You're inside your own mindscape. This is how it looks inside your own head.
But you've never seen it like this before. Never been a simple wanderer passing through, trying to find the way. In the past, you were always the individual thoughts, the trees, always a different one, never more than a few at a time. You recognize many of these trees.
Some trees are your worries and concerns and fears. Some are frustrations and things that upset you. Some are shame, and regret. Things you wish had gone differently. Here's both the past and the future, at least, what you think could, or might happen. But looking at this forest, you are hit by a wave of perspective. You are all of these things, not any individual thought, but all thoughts, at the same time. You're both joys and sorrows, dreams and fears. All those inner conflicts were just you all along, thinking, with yourself.
My name is Erik Thor, and I'm a Jungian analyst specializing in personality psychology and positive psychology. I created this channel to do storytelling about personality psychology and personal growth.
I attended high school at the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy. I was lucky. I was surrounded by incredibly gifted people. It taught me humility. It taught me that even if I'm the smartest guy in the room, that's always temporary and there are always other rooms. Kind. Kindness is FAR more important than smart.
Exactly.
I agree. And wisdom is better than intelligence. And rarer.
I was not labeled as gifted when I was a child. Based on my high school grades, I should have been voted most likely to skip shop class. However, by age 21, I had graduated with honors from a state university. I did well enough on the GRE to be accepted into graduate school at Stanford and Brown. I earned my M.A. at Stanford and my M.S./ITS at Johns Hopkins University. Curious about my I.Q., I took a couple of tests: the Miller Analogies Test (MAT) and the Terman Concept Mastery Test (Form-T). My MAT score got me into Mensa and Intertel. My CMT-T score qualified me for the Triple Nine Society. So, you can definitely be gifted - even highly gifted - and not know it.
yea as a ENTJ i can find myself in this i am also gifted and i burned out 3 times in life. My biggest problem with giftedness is to find purpose and a career that fits me. I struggle a lot in working fields fitting in and being understood.
Gaslighting myself to think im smart
real
Great reflection!
Man, thank you.
I am trying to understand how i work and why, and guys like you are my answer.
I'm really thankful for you to talk about this subject ^^
This is going to help me a lot i hope, your words are well choosed and i'm recognizing myself easily in the descriptions
For my part, i am often tired, but i still think far too much, like i had real issues with just stopping thinking until maybe 8 or 9yo, and now i'm better.
I'm trying to make myself better, since a few weeks, as i was a good bit socially awkward and now i'm already better!
Again, thank you.
Consider you have a new subscriber :)
I feel we just know what we don’t know, anytime I want to start learning something new I realize how deep everything goes how much I still don’t know and all it’s gonna take to master it, you realize what you don’t know is and will forever be far greater in amount than the things you already know, and knowing that you can’t help but feel humble by all of it. We’re also demanding more and more of ourselves and sometimes we asked more of ourselves than what we can realistically give, regardless of your level of intelligence.
I don’t have any ambitions at all. I neither feel smart, nor stupid. I’m very good at understanding my over active mind, but I can’t apply my thought process, cause it isn’t standard for school. You’re supposed to be concrete, and not think outside the box at all. School, and people are slowly killing me, to the point where I usually go several days in a row with roughly 2-4 hours of sleep. I’m genuinely just exhausted, and I wish the world fit my needs better. There’s also a giant paradox that I think of often. On one hand, my self perception of my intelligence is high, but if I think I’m intelligent I usually just end up thinking of how stupid people usually perceive themselves as smart, and vice versa.
I just feel lonely in this world. I really liked your video. And thank you to the people who read this rant/relates. ❤
Do not be. Find similar people and family and spend time with them in a safe way. Even write about what you think and be understood. That’s feel good
Thank you for this!
Just watched a bunch of your videos, I love them (this one in particular)! You are right. Just because people thought I was gifted in school doesn't mean I have to save the world. Nah, I just learned to read early. It's my intelligence and I can do what I want! Lol
yesss
wow I really can learn from you. I'm in a state of cofusion and very tired, cos most people expect me to have high standards. I'm more tired of the constant opinions of others pushing me down of try to "cage" me. while I just do what I like, but with high results. I don't know how to deal with people anymore.
Are you implying that you have a gifted level I.Q.? Grammatical errors, spelling errors and overall lack of clarity in your written word leave me wondering why you chose to align yourself with the people of whom this video is about. Maybe you are one heck of a good student of mathematics and science. Cofusion. Is that similar to nuclear fission reactions or the reaction believed to be present when a particle accelerator causes photons to collide with neutrons and electrons emitting micro amounts of dark matter and energy?
It’s not an over active mind or over thinking. The base line comparison is neurotypical (NT)average. To understand yourself you need to actually understand NTs first. Different physiology, different memory formation/storage/retrieval, associations, capacity, speed and use of brain. Research work done by gifted people and other neurodivergent minds on the differences between mind types and watch yourself be set free and become more comfortable in what you are. Closest mind types will be ASD, ADHD, and creative minds. Overlap is high. Think of it as different hardware and operating systems. So much becomes simpler when you see the patterns of behaviour and understand when and why it occurs. It also helps to explain why value systems in yourself can be so very different in almost everyone else. Limitations, capacities and operating languages.
I used to tell myself 'I'm not hungry' so I'd keep going. But now I'm trying to prioritise self-care and consider my brain, as an athletic person considers their body. Because both body and brain need vitamines, rest, etc, in the same way to fuel energy. By the way, I've lost you for a couple of years on YT after leaving my MBTI obsession behind, but I'm glad to hear your analyses again in a period of my life where I'm finding out I'm probably gifted. Always loved your insights.
Do you ever go back and forth between feeling guilty for not doing more to help the world because you know you could make a difference and just wanting to ignore it all and live your life?
Outstanding Video. And now we have to get to the Choppa!!!...
Not sure if I’m gifted, but recently 2 ppl. have asked if I were. I’m always thinking and looking for better ways and seems like more so than the average person. I also see ppl. for what they are and more than they think who they are. For whatever I do, I try to be the best at it and try to master. I get so obsessed that something that takes someone years to learn on a high level, I can seem to manage in a few weeks. Also, when I’m doing something and even with explaining, most ppl. don’t get what I’m up to. Then they see the final results and will be impressed and had no idea, when it seems very obvious to me.
So I’m trying to find out more on what gifted is and to see if I fall under that category. Most ppl. think I’m different and some have said they never met anyone like me before.
But I find that ppl. whether or not I’m gifted, treat me badly, not all from the start, but it goes bad eventually. As tho they can’t handle someone that’s always right and for it to come so easy and I make them feel inferior or someone they need to prove to themselves that they are just as smart as I am. Basically I’m saying ppl. want to challenge me and that eventually turns to hating me. I often thought I should dumb myself down, too, to not be a threat to others, but that’s not me and I need to speak my mind.
that is a very relatable experience ... i highly recommend the book "Living with Intensity". Understanding why you're different will go a long way.
Other important part to know is that most things will be wrong recommendations for gifted people. Different sleep needs, different reactions to standard medical drugs, different needs to relax almost opposite to normal expectations. So if some recommendation for you isn’t working, it’s not a fault with you, you are very different from the bell curve middle.
What? That’s not true, being gifted has little relation to what medical drugs are effective for you, sleep needs, or even how to relax…
Sounds like you might just have something else or are unique in many different ways not just giftedness.
@@ihx7 The research is becoming much more interesting and now with larger sample groups and new technologies you’ll see more on neurological chemical and physiological differences. Check out research papers that gifted adult associations have as resource links. More papers are free access now too. One thing to keep in mind is that even in the gifted range, it is still a spectrum of traits and abilities. For the most part, it’s better to find info that can help from and for gifted people. More work is starting to be done on giftedness by gifted people and there is a difference with that.
Thank you SO MUCH
I'm afraid I'm going to fracture my mind if I keep going on like this. It was helpful hearing you put that into words
Nice I love it, I’m learning english but I understood a lot of what you said
There's always a bigger, smarter fish
I always felt greatly incompetent. Still do. Haha! The hardest part is mental problems. And being very alone. Sometimes I wish I was normal. This is very difficult. IQ is potential; you still have to put effort into things. IQ is overrated and personally I don’t look at that measure. You can’t put a static to something that’s dynamic.
beautifully said
I'm gifted and following you now
Im 40. But when i was in elementary and high school especially i got told sooo SOOO many times how smart and how much potential i had. I was smarter than most everyone true. But this really fucked up how i wanted to emerge into adulthood. They saw me as this wonderkid and i felt nothing special. Eventually university was great since i could act as stupid as i wanted to be and therefore had more friends lol. At this ripe age though i dont care: there is less pressure and i care less about what society expects from me to feel like i need to be and do something
soo right
I have met a lot of gifted people and not one of them thinks highly of themselves they underestimate themselves on their cognitive ability.
THIS IS SO TRUE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Are you sure that putting emotions aside is a characteristic of a gifted person? 😅
From what I read, that’s a trauma response that’s called “emotional dissociation”.
So as a person with CPTSD and ~130 IQ, I'm curious what your thoughts are about this.
Agree, well stated
I’d honestly argue the opposite. Highly intelligent people usually tend to have a strong hold on their emotions, so they don’t crumble. They have strong empathy, and call feel very deeply though. That’s at least what I’ve observed from people who I perceive as highly intelligent.
Will you do a video on how to rest and give yourself a break?
Yes!
I feel INCREDIBLY called out >.>
I mean basically for a long time but with time too many signs show up. E.g. I start watching a phsycics video, suddenly get a epiphany moment including a real high and understand the concepts without watching to the end. This also happens when I judt walk around. Suddenly information from earlier the day or the week builts together and I see the bigger picture. Also I watch experts on their field and instantly see mistakes just by logic. Then I research the topic and see that my thoughts were correct.
That are just some examples. There is much more.
But who even cares? I am a fucking loser in life. The pandemic and a break up really hit me hard. I feel further away from society than ever and don't even talk much anymore. I am depressed, hurt, traumatized and ill. But at the same time I love life and I can enjoy little moments. It's a weird mix of highs and lows. At highs everything looks like art and i feel excited for the future, at lows everything looks grey and I just wait to die.
It is interesting!! 😂
Very well said, the devil is in the details 🙏
Its not about being gifted but being feared , respected or live well
Great thoughts, but what if we WANT to do it all?
I would say the video makes a great point anyway. If you do, emotions, and rest matter more. If you push emotions away they will come back. Taking care of emotions should not diminish ambitions. It should be complementary.
I believe intelligence has a lot of factors. Nature and nurture for starts, but to find raw intellect and do define intelligence to me and genius. These days is common search but I struggle viewing myself as intelligent. I never feel smart sometimes I do. But intelligence has a lot of stigma is about it and and IQ struggle. And it's perceived to be that they could be more accomplished and more go oriented. But but when you're a thinker. You get wrapped up in your head. You think a lot the average man will say oh, you overthink or analyze but to me when they say that that's just a normal train of thought😂
I think gifts and brains do entail responsibility. Otherwise, you can get very selfish, isolated, and not do anything at all. Not a good place to be.
It's not a gift, it's a curse.
Because there are far more cursed people than society or the economy actually wants, whatever cursed people might be told in school. Being one in 200 or whatever does help much when society only really wants one in a thousand or so in those roles.
Burnout happens because you're competing with every other cursed person for those limited opportunities, and those who succeed are those who can stave off burnout long enough to get to a point where they're no longer competing with every other cursed person out there.
Giftedness isn't always a gift. You will be ridiculed.
This is a fact. No opinion involved in this phenomenon. I know it personally.
@@harrypalmer291 how and why?
Clever, smart, genius, intellegent are having different meaning but comes with similar possitive conclusion.
And im not 😅
Besides that individualistic perspective, most people, intelligent or otherwise, have been taught and accept that humility is good - the Cult of Open-mindedness. It is not. It is the opposite side of the coin of hubris - both are Inaccurate view of your self worth.
What is easy for me like grammar and maths are dificult for others!! As It is difficult for them and don't want to make the effort to learn It, they don't value it!!
emotions are just tools
I disagree. Emotions and empathy is the key to being human imo. I’m curious to hear why you feel that way though, if you want to talk about it.
Well, I'm not gifted bc I feel gifted, lol. Who cares? I'm just a happy person who loves to learn and create perfectionism according to my standards. I also value my aloneness bc it gives me the freedom to do anything I want to do.
I feel the world hears the wrong 💩🕵🏻♂️from the wrong people
People think intelligence is some magical pattern decoding skill that's simply baked into the genes. It doesn't work that way. Intelligence is the output of having an overactive mind. When you think twice as fast as other people, and four times as often, you end up with a much more developed brain. IQ is the output of a greedy neural network, one that is perpetually fine-tuning its accuracy by processing and re-processing, crystallizing verbal and sensory thought into more efficient pathways for future travel, always hungry for more training data. In short, if you're able to relax and teach yourself to think less, you will also gradually end up less intelligent. Which is fine, but it helps to know there is at least a deeper reason for having an obsessive, uncontrollable mind
☯️🌏🕵🏻♂️
Can you think to much
I have never felt the slightest bit gifted so does that mean I am? 😜 I f-cking knew it
ha classic moment 22 quote!
ha classic moment 22 quote!
😆 I'm saying the wrong things
Smarta människor tror att de är dumma och dumma människor tror att de är smarta. 😊
Man, you're an INFJ, gifted, and ADHD?? 😭😭😭 Am I correct??
I love these narcissistic 'gifted' videos from autistic people.
How is he being narcissistic? He’s legit just speaking his mind about an observation he made. If you’re gonna be so rude for no reason, go somewhere else to mope. Also, narcissism is a personality disorder. You need an NPD to be called narcissistic.
Go away, rump.
Because there will always be an Asian better than you……