Problems with 19 & 22 year old sons

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  • čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
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Komentáře • 463

  • @AvoKupelian
    @AvoKupelian Před 9 lety +1816

    Did Ron just say "Hi Ron?" lol

    • @Nukem962001
      @Nukem962001 Před 8 lety +44

      +Nobody You Know I just thought the same thing.

    • @marquitos6763
      @marquitos6763 Před 8 lety +187

      +Avo Kupelian It happens a lot if you listen to the show a lot. They're just nervous for being on air.

    • @ElizabethDerlin
      @ElizabethDerlin Před 7 lety +13

      lol I thought the same thing

    • @stagesbookingandpromotions3548
      @stagesbookingandpromotions3548 Před 7 lety +81

      Avo Kupelian lol I heard that. Poor guy doesn't know who's who and what's what

    • @i.a.3393
      @i.a.3393 Před 7 lety +45

      Avo Kupelian Probably nervous about being on the air and used fake name.

  • @nappyboi312
    @nappyboi312 Před 8 lety +574

    I understand why the dad would be hesitant to throw his kid out. With his wife's suicide I'm sure the thought crossed his mind that his wild child would do the same if pushed too hard.

    • @catpeleti1858
      @catpeleti1858 Před 5 lety +65

      The 19yr old boy clearly needs counselling, not financial at this time.

    • @Bmmhable
      @Bmmhable Před 5 lety +35

      Right, 19 and 22 in such a situation, maybe it's better they're physically close to their Dad and all of them work together on getting their careers started. Really questionable advice from Dave here imo.

    • @lenas5613
      @lenas5613 Před 5 lety +11

      @anonymous reviewer Dave talks in the abstract...this man needs support. Not only money. His exwife committed suicide. He scared. He needs Alanon at least.

    • @staceystrukel1917
      @staceystrukel1917 Před 4 lety +6

      He's actually pushing him closer with substance abuse and allowing him to have this behavior.

    • @rainereigns
      @rainereigns Před 4 lety +8

      or could it be that these sons are using this suicide thing as a crutch to further misbehave?

  • @LadyChemicalEngineer
    @LadyChemicalEngineer Před 6 lety +556

    if the mom committed suicide 2 years ago they're probably depressed

    • @catpeleti1858
      @catpeleti1858 Před 5 lety +61

      And still grieving.

    • @darksydesamy
      @darksydesamy Před 5 lety +31

      Terrible stuff. A mother is usually really close to the son. He should seek help from a therapist.

    • @jrc2976
      @jrc2976 Před 5 lety +8

      LadyChemicalEngineer Yeah that's prob why he didn't graduate

    • @basil33
      @basil33 Před 5 lety +22

      Doesn't excuse the behavior but yes they all need to go to therapy.

    • @vanessastein1689
      @vanessastein1689 Před 5 lety +14

      @Chrystele Lacroix-Burns Yeah, I'm really surprised Dave totally ignored that aspect of it.

  • @cf06leo
    @cf06leo Před 7 lety +910

    The Ron Ramsey Show

    • @weights250
      @weights250 Před 5 lety +1

      Hahaha!! This is great 😂

    • @clarifyingquestions
      @clarifyingquestions Před 5 lety +16

      must have taken a lot to make the call - some things should do not need to be commented on and this is one of them. Dave - super classy says nothing, expresses nothing.

    • @bartvanriel6767
      @bartvanriel6767 Před 5 lety +3

      @@clarifyingquestions you're absolutely correct

    • @justsaying4451
      @justsaying4451 Před 5 lety

      😂😄😂😂😂😂😂

    • @sarah3796
      @sarah3796 Před 5 lety +1

      Heheh cute. He must of been so nervous.

  • @kristynoble8848
    @kristynoble8848 Před 5 lety +46

    7 years ago, I did exactly as Dave suggested - kicked out a depressed 19-year old because he wasn't finishing a failed high school class, and wasn't moving on with his life. (In MY house, you are either a student bettering yourself, or a rent-paying adult.) It worked. He finished the class in 1 month, got a job, moved back in paying rent, and started community college the next semester. He graduated college with a B.S. in electrical engineering. He had some delays in getting his degree due to depression, but worked it out with counseling and medication and persevered to get his degree. I can't begin to express how proud I am of him. My second son, witnessing this, gave me NO problems whatsoever. He even asked me if he was required to pay rent during college summer break. (No, because he was doing what he was supposed to be doing.) Guys, Dave is giving excellent advice - follow it! If everyone could be as proud of their children as I am of mine, the world would be a happier place.

    • @user-ct8cd9bq9s
      @user-ct8cd9bq9s Před 5 lety +12

      That what people alot don't see... what makes us stronger is the tribulation that we go through... we need to teach our kids that life ain't easy... and stepping out of our comfort zones leads to success...

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@user-ct8cd9bq9s agreed. We have to learn to stand on our own two feet. It causes personal dignity and confidence.

  • @barbaras.4033
    @barbaras.4033 Před 6 lety +341

    I disagree. Throwing his 19 year old son out is not the answer, especially with what he's going through. For some situations Dave is not qualified to give advice, and this is one of them.

    • @xckj3776
      @xckj3776 Před 5 lety +13

      It’s a hard thing to deal with I have a very close friend going through a similar situation. Unfortunately his Mom isn’t pushing him and he’s on course to fail my friend would probably be better off getting kicked out

    • @bellmeisterful
      @bellmeisterful Před 4 lety +4

      He did say approach them differently because theyre at different points. But two years is enough time to cope with a loss of a loved one. Hes right.

    • @MA-bm9jz
      @MA-bm9jz Před 4 lety +9

      @@bellmeisterful dude there is no way to quantify how much time it takes to get over someone,ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM,but i'm not encouraging this behaviour,you can't say "2 years is enough"

    • @Spaceysgurl
      @Spaceysgurl Před 4 lety +2

      That's why he now employs Dr. D.

    • @sjaykay9884
      @sjaykay9884 Před 4 lety +2

      Jasmine Carter and he talks over or more than Dr. D on these similar kinds of issues. But I don’t blame Dave. I blame people calling a financial show looking for something other than financial advice.

  • @LifeBetweenTheDash
    @LifeBetweenTheDash Před 8 lety +46

    Divorced parents can be emotionally devastating. Mom commits suicide more emotional devastation. I wish the family could find assistance through therapy and support groups. Doesn't sound like a simple growing up, lack of motivation issue.

    • @meghanknotts5646
      @meghanknotts5646 Před 6 lety

      JBryant Concierge im

    • @Jibbie49
      @Jibbie49 Před 6 lety +3

      The older daughter has gone through it and she's working and responsible. These sons just see they can have it easy living off the Dad. It would help the younger boy to have counseling and get off the alcohol.

  • @moniquemcfarlane484
    @moniquemcfarlane484 Před 6 lety +83

    I love how Dave totally ignored the fact that Ron just called him Ron... LOL!!! Bless his heart.

  • @wmurray003
    @wmurray003 Před 7 lety +287

    I don't completely agree with Ramsey on this one. You don't simply "move out" your depressed Son who just lost his Mom 2 years ago.

    • @zain4019
      @zain4019 Před 6 lety +12

      Musa I of Mali two years seems like a lot but it really isn’t when you lost someone you love :( I hope they’re going be okay

    • @Juhani139
      @Juhani139 Před 5 lety +1

      I agree.

    • @tiptoe38
      @tiptoe38 Před 5 lety +6

      We all lose people,Get over it.Seem like a lot of kids I know.

    • @regularity2556
      @regularity2556 Před 5 lety +27

      @@tiptoe38 Suicide is more traumatic than just losing people

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 Před 5 lety +11

      @@regularity2556 A loss is a loss. My cousin was murdered. It is tragic but life goes on and staying stuck and focused on what happened will end up taking your life as well.

  • @PInk77W1
    @PInk77W1 Před 4 lety +85

    When I was 18 I was the worst kid ever.
    My parents asked me if I wanted to go stay with my 28yr old bro half way across USA.
    I thought vacation time.
    I get to my bro house on the greydog and the first day he has me fill out 15 job applications
    Second day same thing. I got a job he charged me rent and now I’m 58. Lol.

    • @sagex9812
      @sagex9812 Před 3 lety +8

      Lol what happened in the past 40 years?

    • @carterloveland6688
      @carterloveland6688 Před 2 lety +23

      @@sagex9812 hes filled out millions of job applications and paid rent to his brother the whole time.

    • @chasecardiff7741
      @chasecardiff7741 Před rokem +2

      @@carterloveland6688 hahahahahaahaahahahahahah

    • @binks3371
      @binks3371 Před rokem +2

      filling those job applications really aged you

  • @dayumgoon
    @dayumgoon Před 5 lety +63

    I’m 21 still living at home. Barely starting college and getting my life back on track. I’m very blessed to have my Dad with me through my journey. I do chip in on rent and work very hard, but I know that the time of my life where I had nothing to worry about is over. Took me a very long time to get over that bump.

    • @johaha87
      @johaha87 Před 4 měsíci

      How did it go? ☺️

  • @MrHydrium
    @MrHydrium Před 10 lety +167

    Love doesn't mean tolerating bad behavior. Love means making the hardest decisions because you have to.

    • @Bc232klm
      @Bc232klm Před 5 lety +6

      It doesn't mean making dumb decisions based on a twisted worldview.

    • @teenindustry
      @teenindustry Před 5 lety +6

      Clearly this kid is in trouble and it is not just bad behaviour. He needs help in processing a major trauma

    • @stormb28
      @stormb28 Před 5 lety +3

      Love vs Enabling is a very, very fine line

    • @SignedOff402
      @SignedOff402 Před 4 lety +1

      If he kicks his kid out and the kid takes his life (which becomes an acceptable option when a parent chooses suicide), father’s regret will be far worse than dealing with the kid at home, forcing him into a healthy routine (work, pay bills, take part in hobbies, a relationship).

    • @kennethyoung2077
      @kennethyoung2077 Před 4 lety +5

      Been there done it. My son could not believe it when we dropped him off at the corner where we turned to go to a cattle sale. He would not work, go to school or even take me up on setting him up in farming or trucking. Ten years latter we brought him home, dusted him off and pretty well the same thing. Now at 50 years old he still has not worked, but survives by welfare or however ? He seems to get by some how with the help from the bleeding hearts of society.

  • @ralphholiman7401
    @ralphholiman7401 Před 4 lety +6

    That's got to be the worst thing in the world; to come to the realization that your child is not going to be successful in life, and that there is nothing you can do about it.

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci +1

      19 is way too young to make that conclusion.
      The kidneys to face some hard reality. Pay their own rent

  • @jukes243
    @jukes243 Před 7 lety +259

    Kicking the son out may not be the best idea. There could be deeper issues here. The son may need counseling to help with depression over his mom's suicide.

    • @byakuya666100
      @byakuya666100 Před 7 lety +27

      yea kicking the son out might just be a death sentence for him

    • @vonnieburt1163
      @vonnieburt1163 Před 4 lety +10

      I don’t agree with you. Everyone has problems, he needs to learn how to be a man. Boys used to go in the service to learn how to grow up. Now they have nothing to teach them how to be men, and they don’t grow up.

    • @orphanedhanyou
      @orphanedhanyou Před 4 lety +8

      Ok. Get counseling, visit him, talk with him, AT HIS OWN PLACE AFTER HE GETS HOME FROM WORK.

    • @thewildcardperson
      @thewildcardperson Před 2 lety

      Dave wants the kids dead remeber that

  • @tsich3226
    @tsich3226 Před 5 lety +35

    This is too harsh. His mom committed suicide. I think they get in counseling-not kick the poor kid out when he is obviously depressed.

  • @skubytube
    @skubytube Před 6 lety +12

    Exactly Dave !!
    I had to have police called and my 19 yo son removed from my home. Asked him to leave and he ignored me and even threatened me and became physically abusive towards me. I threatened over and over would have him removed if his bad behavior kept up ,he just kept ignoring me and mocking my threats. I finally had to call police on him and have him arrested for physical assault. Even when you love your kids you have to put your foot down.
    Hardest thing I ever had to do ... but he left me no choice.

    • @RedShirtMenace808
      @RedShirtMenace808 Před 6 lety

      skubytube nah this ain’t it i’m turning 19 in october. me and my mom had the same issues in january of 2018 arguing back and forth because I had a girlfriend. I cussed her out a whole bunch but no physical threats. my mom threatened me multiple times and everything called me every name in the book. I locked my self in the room and called the police. they came and explained to her that she cannot stop me from leaving but can stop me from coming in. honestly, I love my mom but I want to move out !

    • @uigfyrf6087
      @uigfyrf6087 Před 5 lety +3

      Ur a fkin coward father, try and understand why he doesnt want to leave first instead of running away from your responsibilities as a dad

    • @michaelschneider9305
      @michaelschneider9305 Před rokem

      @@RedShirtMenace808hopefully you have grown up, you sound like a dbag

  • @MrJM-zr1hk
    @MrJM-zr1hk Před 5 lety +8

    My wife is also an enabler. This is very hard as a parent but sometimes necessary.

  • @christinab.2864
    @christinab.2864 Před 6 lety +90

    I think that Ron is depressed after all his wife suicide

  • @Brenda4animals
    @Brenda4animals Před 10 lety +35

    Not if your child's mother decided to take her life. Dave's advice is true, only to the point of emotions that the boy is going thru! The boy needs a counselor or therapist or family friends. Do not let this child stay lost!

  • @samanthasmiles9112
    @samanthasmiles9112 Před 5 lety +6

    I wish parents would understand that enabling is abuse. It is 100% abuse. I've seen it with my sister and both of my sisters in laws. It's cute when they are 18 but it's no longer cute when they are 50 years old living on daddies dime, unable to work and to care for themselves. It's your job as the parent to teach them how the world works. Unless you have enough money to support your spoiled children until the day they die, then you are raising your children to become homeless. I saw it with my Grandma and my uncles. The spoiled children NEVER get better because they dont have too. The parents are too afraid to actually discipline. The child is always the one to suffer. I get the Mom committed suicide. You give them a year, go to therapy but you have to still care for yourself. That's not how the world works. My Dad died, mentally ill, I'm not going to dive into that story but guess what, 2 days later I was back to work.

  • @MaiAngels
    @MaiAngels Před 5 lety +14

    OMG! This is my life!! 18 and 21 yr old sons. 21 is struggling with the death of their younger brother. I needed this video!!

  • @Draganox25
    @Draganox25 Před 6 lety +61

    Yeah what they need isnt Ron, what they need is a therapist

  • @teenindustry
    @teenindustry Před 5 lety +24

    Dave is being way harsh. These guys are grieving a massive shock. The 19 year old was 16 when his mother died under horrible circumstances. The boy needs some real help like therapy to address the drinking. I agree he needs to finish school but kicking him out is not the answer under these circumstances.

    • @dknowles60
      @dknowles60 Před 3 lety +2

      was 17 . the dad said it had been 2 years. hint meat some old tought WW2 vets and learn something. how young are you

  • @defaultname7685
    @defaultname7685 Před 3 lety +3

    I love Ron Ramsey, he's always the best family therapist.

  • @normabarros3124
    @normabarros3124 Před 5 lety +5

    I went through that my son kept breaking into my house so I called the police to get him out, update he went to my mom's house, then to jail for a month I wouldn't let him come to my house so he went into a sober living house from there he's currently renting a room out he doesn't really want to talk to me but the Lord is healing me from that

    • @babyfeeg
      @babyfeeg Před 5 lety

      Did you have him circumcised ?

    • @GR-uc1gq
      @GR-uc1gq Před 4 lety +2

      Relationship ruined

  • @tjj5337
    @tjj5337 Před 3 lety +4

    Mom committed suicide ?? Very sad. They need professional counseling.

  • @vitocorleone1462
    @vitocorleone1462 Před 5 lety +7

    The 19 yo son NEEDS counseling more than anything else. Then build him up as a person, get the high school thing out the way. Get him to work more hours, maybe another job, make him spend less than he makes and he'll be on a good path. But first of all he needs help with the disturbing death of this mother.

  • @tfittread8907
    @tfittread8907 Před 5 lety +26

    I would be careful kicking a depressed kid out of the house. Come on now...Therapy, have a no drinking rule, emotional support, etc...but kicking him out? Man.

    • @mustasheolll2020
      @mustasheolll2020 Před 11 měsíci

      I’ve lost a bit of respect for Dave

    • @USMC6976
      @USMC6976 Před 7 měsíci +2

      So you prefer to enable the kid to continue?

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci +1

      How do you enforce the no drinking rule when you can't do anything as they get to continue living there?

  • @CuteNeha777
    @CuteNeha777 Před 3 lety +7

    Americans: " Get out of the house!"
    Asians: " You are not going anywhere until you do this!"

  • @lucyloo35
    @lucyloo35 Před rokem +2

    Wow, he has a mother who killed herself and the dads just supposed to kick him out? Obviously, he needs professional help. What if that kid leaves the house and kills himself? That father will have to live with that. The solution here is to NOT kick him out and love him through this by requiring he get help. Stick to financial advice. It seems Dave just likes to kick kids out of the house.

  • @JV-bc8um
    @JV-bc8um Před 3 lety +4

    You can only help someone so much. Once it has been exhausted and no cooperation then any consequences they have to deal with on their own.

  • @janiecel
    @janiecel Před 5 lety +11

    Dave reminds me of my father. And I love it in every way. It’s not tough love. It’s love.

  • @annmariemazzotta2495
    @annmariemazzotta2495 Před 7 lety +63

    Don't agree sorry to kick kids out especially after they lost their mom

    • @drewpierpont3361
      @drewpierpont3361 Před 6 lety +3

      What's your solution? Very curious

    • @OrthodoxBeards
      @OrthodoxBeards Před 6 lety +16

      They aren't KIDS!!! They're in their 20's for goodness' sake!!

    • @andrewf4623
      @andrewf4623 Před 5 lety +11

      Agreed those kids need to be loved not thrown out like garbage. You can show tough love without kicking them out.

    • @georgewashington938
      @georgewashington938 Před 5 lety +1

      what does your sentence mean?

    • @orphanedhanyou
      @orphanedhanyou Před 4 lety +5

      It's been two years. They are adults.

  • @LeoDeki
    @LeoDeki Před 5 lety +17

    I cant stop binging this show.

  • @Polo22546
    @Polo22546 Před 4 lety +3

    Dave Ramsey also provides family counseling!! This dude is awesome!

  • @TomiaMacQueen
    @TomiaMacQueen Před 3 lety +2

    They all need counseling. Especially the 19 yr old. That should be the FIRST condition to remaining in the home.

  • @darksydesamy
    @darksydesamy Před 3 lety +7

    This guy almost always gives horrible parenting advice. His really should just stick to financial advice.

  • @trblessed1020
    @trblessed1020 Před 5 lety +3

    Mr. Ramsey I love you sir!!! You just don't know what your video have done for my life

  • @davidregan9872
    @davidregan9872 Před 5 lety +8

    I just found a needle in my bathroom that my frickin 28 year old stepson left there! My wife keeps letting him tell her lies! When I told him to be a MAN he started saying he will move out and kill himself! He has been to treatment 3 times, and always says he's cured! My wife still treats him like a CHILD! He's an itch that I can't get rid of!

    • @bennettdavid904
      @bennettdavid904 Před 3 lety +1

      Oh man, that's awful. I wish you luck!

    • @JamesSmith-cm7sg
      @JamesSmith-cm7sg Před 3 lety +2

      I grew up in a situation like this and all I can say is your wife will always take his side.

    • @davidregan9872
      @davidregan9872 Před 3 lety +2

      @@JamesSmith-cm7sg That's true! She did it again this morning!

    • @thereallegend4lyfe
      @thereallegend4lyfe Před 10 měsíci

      it's cuz ur dumb enough to date single moms

  • @jehobden
    @jehobden Před rokem +1

    This video is from almost 10 years ago now. I hope his sons have their lives straightened out by now.

  • @tom-ot8kg
    @tom-ot8kg Před 7 lety +5

    i'm 21 years old currently going to school and working at my community college but still living at home sheesh, i've been unemployed due to summer break and wow I feel like a bum. Plan on working 2 jobs and also going to school to save up and move by next semester. I need to leave the small city I live and venture out to meet new people and work on myself

  • @DrogoBaggins987
    @DrogoBaggins987 Před 8 lety +99

    Sometimes I wonder how much these parents are telling the truth. An adult child misbehaving is usually due to bad parenting when they were younger. Parents also play favorites even though they never admit it.

    • @TippyPuddles
      @TippyPuddles Před 8 lety +10

      I can relate, however, under NO circumstances should anyone ever be yelled at. Never let anyone yell at you, EVER!

    • @williamblair35
      @williamblair35 Před 7 lety +12

      no spanking and now no yelling? Keep this up, the kids will be living at home until their 40!! LOL
      Maybe we need to give them safe spaces too.

    • @williamblair35
      @williamblair35 Před 7 lety +4

      Waterlec lets not forget that it is normally Mother of these children that raised them while Dad was out working 12 hour days. The second that Dad tell Mom that the kids need to move out, its Mom that tells him that he will move out long before her babies ever do.

    • @TippyPuddles
      @TippyPuddles Před 7 lety +2

      +jimm bou you have a very twisted view on life.

    • @williamblair35
      @williamblair35 Před 7 lety +4

      Ann Korn coming from a women, Thank you so very much.

  • @JR-gq5er
    @JR-gq5er Před 5 lety +57

    Dave “kick him out” Ramsay

  • @athenalovesdance
    @athenalovesdance Před 4 lety +5

    The son needs to go to a Grief Share group where he can heal and go from Mourning to Joy. There are some churches that have Grief Share

  • @IndBro2
    @IndBro2 Před 5 lety +8

    Sometimes a little tough love goes a long way.

  • @patti9494
    @patti9494 Před 10 lety +41

    Ron your boys went through the devastating loss of loosing their mother. Dave Ramsey is not a family therapist and has no degree in counseling. Alot of the behaviors your 19 yr old is showing to me seem normal. But, a counselor working hand in hand with you can be so beneficial. The counselor can reassure you and together you can get your 19 yr old and 22yr on the right paths. You can do this!

    • @bekind8361
      @bekind8361 Před 7 lety

      Elizabeth Tuscadaro oh My heart ❤️ goes for you .but you are very smart by understanding he will not change please don't be sad try to find joy in every thing u do even if it's just a little walk ❤️be happy I will be thinking of you

  • @aldelgado9343
    @aldelgado9343 Před 6 lety +4

    dad is going thru a tough time, hes gonna get thru this

  • @yvonce7309
    @yvonce7309 Před 8 lety +53

    These adult kids living at home feel like there in entitled, to free rent, food, money from parents. Then got the nerves to talk back and be disrespect to the parents. It's the parents fault that their children turned out to be this way. Spoiling, no Setting boundaries etc...... Is a form of child abuse they grow up thinking they're entitled to everything.

    • @bekind8361
      @bekind8361 Před 7 lety +4

      God bless

    • @xL0stKIlah
      @xL0stKIlah Před 3 lety +2

      If your adult child is working and or is in college what exactly is the problem?

  • @Alicia-ig7cv
    @Alicia-ig7cv Před 2 lety +3

    The child is depressed

  • @richardbowers3647
    @richardbowers3647 Před 4 lety +13

    Role modeling is everything! Sending siblings out into the world without skills or modeling is dangerous for the kids!

  • @infiltrator7777
    @infiltrator7777 Před 4 lety +8

    Ron is feeling better than he deserves!

  • @jeanmccallum3012
    @jeanmccallum3012 Před 6 lety +36

    Maybe the kid needs counseling since he sounds kind of messed up. I would definitely try therapy if he were my child. I'm not surprised he's upset about his Mom.

  • @tailboard
    @tailboard Před 4 lety +2

    Thank goodness My Boys have been on the right track so far. That is my worst nightmare.

  • @thomasj1138
    @thomasj1138 Před 6 lety +38

    Hi Ron.
    Hi Ron.

  • @hollyhocks7360
    @hollyhocks7360 Před 5 lety +33

    Maybe the boys are grieving for their mum? Some compassion is better than tough love at this stage ?

    • @orphanedhanyou
      @orphanedhanyou Před 4 lety +5

      It's been two years. They are adults. Ok. Get counseling, visit him, talk with him, AT HIS OWN PLACE AFTER HE GETS HOME FROM WORK.

    • @edwinortiz1262
      @edwinortiz1262 Před 4 lety +4

      @@orphanedhanyou 2 years is not a long time to get over something like that

    • @dknowles60
      @dknowles60 Před 3 lety +3

      @@edwinortiz1262 wrong. its more then enought, how young are you. let me tell you something. in ww2 there were 17 year old that got over death in 1 day

    • @thepizzaelf
      @thepizzaelf Před 3 lety

      @@dknowles60 that was a completely different time with completely different people. Everyone isn’t the same.

    • @scoopitywoop
      @scoopitywoop Před 3 lety

      @@dknowles60 I don't think they actually got over deaths in 1 day, probably they were scarred for life

  • @donaldchump4327
    @donaldchump4327 Před 6 lety +17

    Tell the absolute truth! A friend of mine recently had to put her almost 40-year old son out. No job, alcholoic, not motivated at all to do anything. I agree with Dave. It's not tough love in putting someone out of your home. It's tough watching someone self -destruct. Parents have to let go of the "I feel guilty feelings" of where will their children go? That is emotional manipulation. If a grown person is in the home, this is not a red light to live with no expectation. Parents! Wake up. If you have an adult person that you have raised still living at home that is lazy, a non-contributor. diserespectful...Take a deep breath, set a deadline to have them leave, STICK to the deadline. Yes, it will hurt, but a grown person leaching off of you is the worst case of enabling and will only instill laziness and entitlement. Last thing I want to say is you can't love a person more than they should be willing to care about their own personal well-being. You can't care more than they care about havng shelter, food, money. I have great respect for my mother that she didn't allow me or my brother and sister to be lazy. We all work, have our own everything. Do not allow your children to play on your emotions. Let them figure it out, let them care, let them worry how they are going to eat and live, change the locks, put their sorry behinds out and stop babying them!

    • @Nangfah_Alex
      @Nangfah_Alex Před 6 lety +2

      Merci Beaucoup so what do you suggest the father do then?

    • @OrthodoxBeards
      @OrthodoxBeards Před 6 lety +1

      So obviously, just let him keep being a dependent alcoholic. That will definitely help him.

    • @Da69expert1
      @Da69expert1 Před 5 lety

      @Merci Beaucoup EMPHASIS

    • @catpeleti1858
      @catpeleti1858 Před 5 lety

      But that's a 40year old

    • @millennialodyssey5956
      @millennialodyssey5956 Před 5 lety +1

      @@catpeleti1858 wasn't 40 at one point

  • @David53D
    @David53D Před 4 lety +3

    A life philosophy like stoicism and or body building would help. Setting a good example on how to be a strong focused man and communicating with them in a supportive, non-judgmental way. Take them to the gym with you and express how much you care about their futures.

  • @suchabeautifulday1733
    @suchabeautifulday1733 Před 4 lety +12

    I wondered what happen to those sons? I hope they are doing well in life and i hope their dad are emotionally stable now. I hope they are safe and able to deal with pain from whatever situations they have. Lord, please protect this family. Give them a chance to live a life thats not have to deal with soo much pain. I asked this in the mighty name of JESUS. Amen
    Im dealing with almost the same problems, and its very hard. All I do is to hold on to God’s promises. In the name of Jesus my Saviour.

  • @sunflowersneed8631
    @sunflowersneed8631 Před 6 lety +4

    Omg. I needed to hear this. Thank you!!!!

  • @sanjosemike3137
    @sanjosemike3137 Před 6 lety +4

    There is a lot of guilt on the father, who had the divorce and the death of the mother.
    The father has to get beyond the guilt. If he does not, he may contribute to the destruction of those boys.
    Sanjosemike (no longer in CA)

  • @MrsThollo
    @MrsThollo Před 5 lety +5

    They've been divorced 12 years, I think, and the wife committed suicide just 2 years ago. All the kids may have been affected by some things early in life. The boys may have a different type of locus of control than the sister. The sister may have worked so hard because she saw it as a way out of a hectic household. We don't know. Therapy is warranted in this case but it was likely needed long before this call and the mother's suicide.

  • @jeremykooi6215
    @jeremykooi6215 Před 8 lety +42

    don't throw out the boys they have to be very emotionally messsed up with mother, I would just keep loving them don't be an authoritarian it will only try them away.

    • @BobBob-bn5jc
      @BobBob-bn5jc Před 7 lety +1

      What? Behavior can be changed by positive reinforcement? Not authoritarian punishment?! What?!

    • @jeremykooi6215
      @jeremykooi6215 Před 7 lety +8

      Bob Bob you cant change someone because you want them to change, they have to decide themself thats where motivation comes from, within your own mind.

    • @FeWolf
      @FeWolf Před 6 lety +5

      Jeremy Kooi life goes on, we all have deal with death, it is a lesson,they have to learn to provide for themselves, because if the dad dies, it would be worst for children

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@BobBob-bn5jcthat advice was an authoritarian. He was setting them free to do what they want so they can grow up.
      Having to pay rent isn't child abuse.

  • @Ellie-rp8bh
    @Ellie-rp8bh Před rokem +1

    He speaks the truth

  • @HAMID___
    @HAMID___ Před 5 lety +16

    This is probably the saddest episode I’ve heard yet

  • @vijiyanttanaji9800
    @vijiyanttanaji9800 Před 3 lety

    i love myself, i will not let my own distruction happen. i cant be lazy, pleasuring myself all the day. i love myself and will be strict on myself to study & work for majority of day & enjoy little at the end of the day with family & friends.

  • @ibew7091
    @ibew7091 Před 5 lety +1

    The cardboard refrigerator box for a home is a great motivator

  • @anavalentin1186
    @anavalentin1186 Před 8 lety +18

    my brother is 26yrs old and won't move out and is rude to my parents and does nothing with his life .My parents have tell him to move out but he just laugh .Help me !

    • @mac1bc
      @mac1bc Před 8 lety

      have your parents set ground rules for him while he lives there. they should treat it like a landlord situation and make sure he contributes to the house.

    • @anavalentin1186
      @anavalentin1186 Před 8 lety

      they had applied ground rules to him but not strict ones .plus my parents don't want the authorities involved. mac1bc

    • @mac1bc
      @mac1bc Před 8 lety

      +Ana Valentin if they make the rules strict enough it could work. he has to want to move out himself.

    • @anavalentin1186
      @anavalentin1186 Před 8 lety

      Yeah he doesn't want to move out 😒he just wants to be lazy all day and eat and he has no job mac1bc​

    • @anavalentin1186
      @anavalentin1186 Před 8 lety

      +texas 27 yeah they do he doesn't listen

  • @neanderthaloutdoors5299
    @neanderthaloutdoors5299 Před 5 lety +7

    USMC looking for a few good men

  • @victoriagarcia5533
    @victoriagarcia5533 Před 6 lety +2

    “This isn’t Animal House, I’m not Dean Wormer” 🤣

  • @bigg2phillips480
    @bigg2phillips480 Před 4 lety +1

    My parents came off the farm. I quit school at 15 and went to work in the oilfield. When my mom saw how much money I was making she kicked me out. She said that if i wss old enough to work than im old enough to live on my own. So i got a apartment under my dads name because I wasnt old enough to renr

  • @hakusansaku8800
    @hakusansaku8800 Před 7 lety +8

    The caller actually listens to Dave. Meaning he stops his talk if Dave has something to say or ask deeper, many people do not understand how to ask for advice. And most of his callers also have this issue.
    Say something, listen to the advisor, do not interrupt him very often. Answer to his questions. ...

  • @albert3671
    @albert3671 Před 6 lety +9

    great advice again Ron!

  • @FeWolf
    @FeWolf Před 6 lety +12

    Life moves on, people die, family and friends, they would want you to move on, because when you are gone, those children will be in a real world of hurt, there is a time.e to cut the cord. My dad said as long as you are either in college or working I will help, if not you are gone

  • @shanescatsandcannabisfarm2965

    Why did he say Hi to him self?!?! And why did Dave answer when he did?! Crazy lol.

  • @taylorman4080
    @taylorman4080 Před 5 lety +4

    Kicking them out won't put 💰 in your pocket. Charge them rent $150 a month. And make them get a full time job for 1 year before sending them to college. To show them what reality is like.

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci

      I think you underestimate their ability to blow you off.
      What are you going to do when they blow you off and don't listen to you. Letting them have the respect of depending on themselves is probably the best solution.

  • @cynthiastearns6452
    @cynthiastearns6452 Před 4 lety +1

    I am tired of my 26 yr old son making babies n keeps coming to my home he argues no job no rent a little kid I told him he has to leave I’m so done and he calls me names

    • @cynthiastearns6452
      @cynthiastearns6452 Před 4 lety

      The-Toy-Guy one extra room he ended up in jail cause of his babys mama, now my best friend is going to be my roommate

  • @maiyenish8552
    @maiyenish8552 Před 9 lety +8

    Eviction letter for your adult-child? GMAFB!
    Let them know you love them, you care about them, and you understand they are hurting from their mom's death.
    Tell them to what extent you are willing to support them... and then they will have to start paying rent! (Or study toward finishing classes....graduation)
    Treat them as adults, and ask for their opinions and input for rules. At the end,
    Rules for your house are: A, B, C..... X, Y, Z and "dad needs to follow them as well".
    Write them down, not as a contract, but as something everybody recognizes as to which was agreed on. Also, verbally discuss at what point you will change locks.
    (Don't write it down...... they are your sons!)
    "I am the master/king of the house, and thus my rules are the rules" are of the 1950's and before era.....
    Dave's thinking made me laugh. "I have one (going to college), so I understand you (and your two dead-beat sons).
    " B. F. S. Dave doesn't understand!

    • @dawnshults7992
      @dawnshults7992 Před 4 lety

      You have great potential to raise a deadbeat. My house my rules...period.

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci

      Maybe that works in your house. I don't think it would have worked with me when I was 19.
      Kicking me out was the best thing that could have happened. Learning to be independent happened next.

  • @Rambomode92
    @Rambomode92 Před 5 lety +6

    I disagree. Sometimes kicking someone out makes things worse

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 Před 5 lety +1

      Yeah, I don't know what these people are thinking...

    • @babyfeeg
      @babyfeeg Před 5 lety +2

      Especially when trauma isn’t dealt with properly .

  • @doney1996
    @doney1996 Před 5 lety +3

    Sounds like this father does not know to interact with his boys. It's crazy!

  • @spectacularrichbeautybrilli

    GREAT ADVICE

  • @JamesSmith-cm7sg
    @JamesSmith-cm7sg Před 3 lety +1

    He needs to get big brother on his side first and then get big brother and dad to talk to him

  • @bekind8361
    @bekind8361 Před 7 lety +6

    I was my child doormat believe me she walked all over me but now no more bye bye 👋 and I don't care how much she hates me and her dad and we will find peace and we have to care about our other kids who were bullied by the oldest

  • @zeusthecatrh
    @zeusthecatrh Před 6 lety +6

    They need a intervention, counseling through local church.

  • @leun6768
    @leun6768 Před 3 lety +4

    I hate this show. If you kick out the 19 year old he may be committing suicide as well. Why does everyone think that a 19 year old is a full grownup?

    • @mustasheolll2020
      @mustasheolll2020 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Dave is a horrible parent IMO

    • @jamisojo
      @jamisojo Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@mustasheolll2020 you guys sound like enablers.

  • @seamusjones5516
    @seamusjones5516 Před 5 lety +10

    learn from your parents mistakes, USE BIRTH CONTROLLLL!!!

  • @Cdogbillionaire
    @Cdogbillionaire Před 10 lety +16

    I don't like this thing people have about leaving stuff on the kurb. Makes more sense to leave it in the garage for him to pick up. Leaving someones stuff on the street is the lowest of the low as far as I'm concerned.

    • @MyFreedomChannel
      @MyFreedomChannel Před 10 lety +4

      The point is not to be mean; it's to force adult kids to grow up. If my daughter acted this way, I would store her things in the garage and charge her rental fees. I guarantee she'd grow up real quick!

    • @SheMeetsCity
      @SheMeetsCity Před 10 lety +5

      I totally agree. Some kids need a good kick in the butt. I am 24, and I havent lived in my moms home since I was 18. Kids that hang out in the house that long, with no schooling or motivation, deserve a dose of REAL LIFE. If you dont pay bills in REAL LIFE, you get evicted!

    • @Fireangell2
      @Fireangell2 Před 10 lety +1

      ***** Hey man can I ask you a question. (may I mind you this is not an argument but I need some advice from someone who has lived longer than me)
      I am a 20 year old living at home still. I have a full time job working midnight- 8:30am. and I have held this job for over a year, and I held be previous job for over 3 years. I was planning on moving out a few months ago with a friend, but his finances fell through. My question is. How long do you think someone should stay at home? I have had multiple people say to "stay as long as you can" and my parents have not even hinted that I must move out. I was moving out on my own terms. IN fact when I was planning on moving out I overheard my stepdad sating to a friend that "I have no problem with him moving out I'm just not sure that he knows what he is doing" I believe that by 24 I should DEFINITELY be gone but where is the.. line? I guess? 22? any advice helps
      Thank you

    • @SheMeetsCity
      @SheMeetsCity Před 10 lety +3

      Hey! I can totally understand how you're feeling because the expectations for moving out can be confusing. With me, I felt that once I was a working adult, able to carry 1/2 of rent and utilities (I moved out with my now bf) that I was ready to 'leave the nest.' My mom and I were also never on the same page about my privacy, so that motivated me to leave even more. I say, if you're living at home and your parents are cool with it - STAY. Save as much $$ as you can, and chip in with bills to show responsibility. Then, when you're ready to leave you'll have a ton of money saved to either move into an apt or even pay a down payment on your own home. I think the issue with most twenty-somethings is that they have full-time jobs and refuse to even pay a cable bill when living off of their parents 100%. Even if they don't ask for the money, its the right thing to do, and catapults you into reality of what paying bills on rotation will feel like. Good luck!! When the time is right, it'll be awesome!

    • @DavidVonR
      @DavidVonR Před 9 lety +2

      Fireangell2 Right now, just focus on saving some money, paying your parents rent, and getting some kind of training or education. Worry about moving out later.

  • @janetcross2797
    @janetcross2797 Před 3 lety

    You are a good father

  • @btanirose581
    @btanirose581 Před 2 lety

    They love their mom

  • @bjorn3923
    @bjorn3923 Před 6 lety +3

    I’m an 18 year old son currently not doing as bad as the 19 yo kid in the video.. but i’m definitely not living up to my truest potential.. that is up until this past week where I’m applying to more career oriented jobs I’m not afraid of hard work I know that I need to earn more to have more and ultimately invest more.. My dilemma right now is I want to start my own business I want to invest more into my brokerage account.. I just see so much advice out there from successful people who would be ashamed that i’m looking to get a job that is more steady and pays me more than my current situation as opposed to jumping right into a business.. what would any of you reccomend? At 18.. should I make more and Then invest more or should I just dive into my business idea (media production, CZcams Channel, Film, etc.) right off the bat with very little available capital?
    By the way a 4 year college is not an option for me anymore I quit college after I realized that 4 years is waay too long to make too mediocre, I want a better way to invest 4 years.. 4 years from now I want to be established in my feats. Financially stable and successful, money invested in good companies, and a place of my own on my own.

  • @IvyOrtizfl
    @IvyOrtizfl Před 5 lety +1

    Something that works almost all the time, put them to pay rent while at home. If they don't like it (most likely they will not), then he will be gone and pay his own apartment.

  • @rowdeo8968
    @rowdeo8968 Před 4 lety +4

    get mental health for the men they have a different way of communicating and depression expressed differently

  • @michellesouthflorida9682
    @michellesouthflorida9682 Před 3 měsíci

    okay but in this day and age if your child has a mental health issue and you are afraid they may harm themselves what do you do? and most 19yr olds cannot afford to live on own. rent is impossible.. they cannot just move into an apartment

  • @bekind8361
    @bekind8361 Před 7 lety +1

    I enjoy your show strong dad

  • @Notorious1200
    @Notorious1200 Před 2 měsíci

    The boys not lazy, he's depressed. There is a difference!

  • @enlightenedidiot9552
    @enlightenedidiot9552 Před 3 lety +1

    Yeah never mind that their mother committed suicide two years ago. That's of no concern to mr. Financial man Dave Ramsey. My mother killed herself when I was eight. It's not a no big deal type of thing. Give me an effing break....

  • @clairecamilleri2568
    @clairecamilleri2568 Před 6 lety +4

    Wonder how the story ended up with this family. Hope all has developed in the right direction, but wonder if there was any consequence to this drastic move......

  • @psychedelicdaemon4914
    @psychedelicdaemon4914 Před 5 lety +4

    Disagree on this chief..

  • @nickmain542
    @nickmain542 Před 4 lety +1

    *guy falls thru the ceiling” Hey Ron!

  • @dabznslugg9492
    @dabznslugg9492 Před 4 lety

    I was out on my own grinding full time job at 13 helping out my abusive mom with the rent and food , I later found out my mom did me really dirty and she was wrong for stressing me out and yelling at was her way of collecting rent and her telling me this isn’t enough it was about 6-800 dollars constantly every 3 weeks by 15 I moved out bought my own cars all on my own I kept everything under a friends name a coworker from that job he sold me my first car 7 cash I was very successful at a young age , imagine if I didn’t pay rent like most adults now a days I would of had a good chunk of cash 💰

  • @natasabrandt21
    @natasabrandt21 Před 3 měsíci

    If I were Ramsey, I wouldn't dare to propose ultimatums for a teenager whose mother recently committed suicide. For such difficult matters, you need a real psychologist with experience like Dr. John Delony, for example. It's not a matter of money; please seek help for your child if you haven't already done so. It's very irresponsible if you haven't. My mother also committed suicide; I know what I'm talking about.