Mock The Week: Milton Jones Scenes We'd Like To See

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 15. 08. 2019

Komentáře • 135

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus Před 3 lety +335

    Dara O’Brien once said that Milton is the most edited guy on there as his lines cause the others to laugh so much they have to edit out chunks of time where it’s just the audience and the other comedians giggling like kids.

  • @davidyoung5114
    @davidyoung5114 Před 3 měsíci +13

    I would love to see Milton on TASKMASTER! He'd have the Taskmaster, the other contestants, and the audience in stitches all the time!

  • @maggiemassey5452
    @maggiemassey5452 Před 8 měsíci +36

    He is absolutely brilliant, no need for filth just super comedy.

  • @kvn4714
    @kvn4714 Před 4 lety +222

    "How's your lucky pencil case now" 😂

    • @abbaslegend9214
      @abbaslegend9214 Před 4 lety +9

      7:06 😂😂

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 Před 10 měsíci +2

      To ye more mathetically minded reading this.
      Was that a legit question/ question fragment?

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Před 6 měsíci +1

      I about soiled my dungarees the first time I saw that one. Still cracks me up every time I see it. Brilliant.

  • @TheUntitled100
    @TheUntitled100 Před 2 lety +53

    "Look! An ancient African city!" "From the makers of Timbuk One..."

    • @RitchieLion
      @RitchieLion Před 2 lety +6

      "It looks like a runner bean, only smaller"
      "From the makers of Mange One..."

    • @bashirlone624
      @bashirlone624 Před 4 měsíci

      Is it a part of a trilogy...

    • @terranceparsons5185
      @terranceparsons5185 Před 4 měsíci +1

      ​@@bashirlone624the third one was from the makers of Cocka One.

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus Před 3 lety +160

    He is the current genius of one line, absurd, surreal comedy. It does take a special talent to come up with that stuff and ignore the generic stuff others come out with. No knob gags, no easy lines, just pure “weird” stuff.

  • @jimothy1967
    @jimothy1967 Před 8 měsíci +22

    The one comedian whose line you can’t wait for! Genius.

  • @donmontague4107
    @donmontague4107 Před rokem +37

    Oh my. The fricking LEVEL that he's consistently delivering these lines at! That's superb. And for most/all of them to be clean jokes, that's what the best are made of.

  • @plugh1
    @plugh1 Před 3 lety +44

    Miltons miind works in strange but hilarious ways. Genius

  • @3QuaNiMiTyy
    @3QuaNiMiTyy Před 4 lety +263

    He's certainly unique. Some real absurdist type stuff at points.

    • @katherinewolfe
      @katherinewolfe Před 2 lety +6

      "I am the Messiah - and the Queen is a biscuit!" and then swimming off the stage is the weirdest, funniest thing I've seen since Robin Williams died.

    • @applejuice5272
      @applejuice5272 Před 2 lety

      @@katherinewolfe "I think that was a floating voter."

    • @jeanmichellelaurent
      @jeanmichellelaurent Před 2 lety +1

      Like he's not an edgy low brow comedian but I love his goofy British wit

  • @ShadowWolf2023-yp5zg
    @ShadowWolf2023-yp5zg Před 9 měsíci +8

    "Today we'll be finding out how the queen arrived in Australia but first..." That is one funny line, I enjoyed that one the most

  • @kenmannagh7788
    @kenmannagh7788 Před 2 lety +15

    Clean as a whistle and the best because of it ....genius Milton rave on .

  • @dillonjohn8549
    @dillonjohn8549 Před 24 dny +2

    People like Milton Jones and Tim Vine are proof that swearing doesn't always equal funny.

  • @simonbiggs9102
    @simonbiggs9102 Před 2 lety +13

    Can listen to him day and night.

  • @MagiTailWelkin
    @MagiTailWelkin Před 4 lety +75

    1:35 I am almost certain, that was a floating voter.

    • @OldGravy2005
      @OldGravy2005 Před 3 lety +6

      They shouldn’t have cut that out!

  • @isabella-cg1co
    @isabella-cg1co Před 3 lety +106

    You missed out. “Anyone can cook this. You can’t Beatrice. Sorry you can’t beat rice” and “Ve in ze german city of cologne haf a fragrance called Birmingham” but the ones you included are AMAZING

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 Před 3 lety +2

      This is part 1. Check the others.

    • @johnsupernaw7290
      @johnsupernaw7290 Před 2 lety +8

      "You can't beat rice" is one of the absolute best jokes I have ever heard in my entire 54 years. That one isn't gold - its platinum.

    • @VinnySlouth
      @VinnySlouth Před rokem +1

      @@johnsupernaw7290 According to the latest list I'd say 3 tons of Rhodium, and his befuddled walk off clinches it!
      Rhodium (Rh) - $15,250/troy ounce.
      Iridium (Ir) - $4,750/troy ounce.
      Palladium (Pd) - $2,027/troy ounce.
      Gold (Au) - $1,723.55/troy ounce.
      Platinum - $889/troy ounce.

  • @eamonquinn5188
    @eamonquinn5188 Před 2 lety +21

    I think the luggagy sushi is maybe my favourite ever joke!

    • @noeldarby1635
      @noeldarby1635 Před 2 lety +1

      My fave is stew francis......'when I was a cop I worked undercover as a pimp,a punter wanted a 3some with menstruating woman......so I err pulled a few strings ' belter !!

  • @CatGirlClare
    @CatGirlClare Před rokem +4

    Just love - Baby tennis umpires sitting in their highchairs, shouting Deuce, deuce!!

  • @ukdavepianoman
    @ukdavepianoman Před 2 lety +14

    Absolute genius. I love the train joke...I know a short cut.

  • @kennyhagan5781
    @kennyhagan5781 Před 2 lety +27

    This guy does it without using a lot of cursing and innuendos. He is brilliant.... and those shirts, the British should consider his wardrobe a national treasure. 🏆

  • @oludotunjohnshowemimo434
    @oludotunjohnshowemimo434 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Simple one liners but yet funny. Milton is so quick whitted.

  • @jeanniehelliwell1599
    @jeanniehelliwell1599 Před 3 lety +11

    Oy Milton leave Aussies alone! 🤣🤣🇦🇺🥰

    • @donmontague4107
      @donmontague4107 Před rokem

      Isn't it the Aussies who should leave us alone... the point is there are bloody masses of them - most of whom compete with the natives in the service industry.

    • @user-vy8ff8cl2i
      @user-vy8ff8cl2i Před 2 měsíci

      Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!!!

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl Před 2 lety +20

    Ahhh Milton.
    The strangest source of laughs I have had the pleasure of being immensely amused by.

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz Před 2 lety +11

    He really brings out my Roaring Laughter

  • @invaderzim7890
    @invaderzim7890 Před 4 lety +93

    Would have been better if you put the topic up before Milton's bit.

  • @markt1387
    @markt1387 Před 6 měsíci +6

    Milton's a genius and love the occasional really dark jokes that really catches you off guard.

  • @FaceInTheCrowd
    @FaceInTheCrowd Před 2 lety +15

    2:54 🤣 I really shouldn't watch Mock The Week while eating breakfast!

  • @maccajft96ynwa97
    @maccajft96ynwa97 Před 3 lety +18

    Hi my names sue barker, you may remember my dad, chew barker what a joke what a comedian.

  • @paulcrombie9623
    @paulcrombie9623 Před 2 lety +13

    I love Milton, he is the best, so funny!

  • @HarryNicNicholas
    @HarryNicNicholas Před 2 lety +5

    "they taste luggagey" lolol.

  • @dez3540
    @dez3540 Před 4 lety +94

    The Dalmations one was absolute savage lmao

  • @georgelamb1236
    @georgelamb1236 Před 2 lety +5

    He's a bloody genius!

  • @nedim_guitar
    @nedim_guitar Před 3 lety +28

    I would love to see this man in a star role in a movie!

  • @aaroncurtis8768
    @aaroncurtis8768 Před 4 lety +51

    Watching this guy made me laugh so hard i nearly peed myself.absolute genius he is with his one limer jokes

  • @j-simmo1881
    @j-simmo1881 Před 3 lety +12

    Him and Gary Delaney are the best

  • @crazyman8472
    @crazyman8472 Před 2 lety +8

    4:52 “This is Fox News…” Oh, if only it was. 😜

  • @nostalgiaof98
    @nostalgiaof98 Před rokem +7

    His style is very old school like Marty Feldman or such. Very witty and unique.
    I wonder what the show would've been like if Eric Morcambe or John Cleese was on

  • @ElegantSpud
    @ElegantSpud Před 6 měsíci +4

    No one does surreal humor like Milton. The guy is a comic genius. I wonder what his dreams are like.

  • @jackevans1318
    @jackevans1318 Před 2 lety +6

    I love the joke about how he lost control of a bus 🤣

  • @barrywallace2744
    @barrywallace2744 Před 4 lety +53

    I really think you should of left in Hugh's retort to Milton's The queen is a biscuit joke.

  • @erinobrien8408
    @erinobrien8408 Před 3 lety +4

    Milton's 🎶 destiny is to be the King of Pun! 🎶

  • @noir-214
    @noir-214 Před 4 měsíci +1

    "Look an ancient African city from the makers of Timbuk one...."😂😂😂

  • @jestermoon
    @jestermoon Před 2 lety +4

    A genius who got me where I am today.
    Does anybody know where I am?

  • @davidjohnmcclements7455
    @davidjohnmcclements7455 Před 3 lety +13

    I used to drink strongbow with my mate dave and he was killed by an arrow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @bcowan1943
    @bcowan1943 Před měsícem

    Love him🤣🖖

  • @spudwesth
    @spudwesth Před 9 dny +1

    Milton went to the store to buy some Beyond Meat. He found out that the cows were from Alpha Centauri.

  • @flavoredchin
    @flavoredchin Před 4 lety +23

    4:52
    An age old question, finally put to rest.

  • @Shmiguelly
    @Shmiguelly Před 3 lety +12

    11:33 Hi Josh

  • @steven9562
    @steven9562 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Psml every time I watch milton

  • @lgba384
    @lgba384 Před 4 lety +8

    A biscuit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @ALostExplorer
    @ALostExplorer Před rokem +9

    The moment I heard that ‘they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime’ joke, I knew we were off to the races. Easily one my favorite contestants on MTW

  • @Spitfyre1011
    @Spitfyre1011 Před 4 měsíci +1

    4:50 i love how it abruptly cuts off Andy Parsons

    • @daruddock
      @daruddock Před 3 měsíci

      Should be the standard for every show

  • @KevinNerfs
    @KevinNerfs Před 9 měsíci +3

    1:38 It’s too bad you cut out Hugh’s response because it was the perfect complement to Milton’s joke.

  • @emporioalnino4670
    @emporioalnino4670 Před 3 lety +7

    Welcome to the bakery

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Před rokem +4

    3:56

  • @BigBoris
    @BigBoris Před 2 lety +1

    Weird humour, I love it.

  • @weebrianful
    @weebrianful Před 5 měsíci

    Genius

  • @nedlongdon8607
    @nedlongdon8607 Před 4 lety +20

    MEN 3:55

  • @IamKlaus007
    @IamKlaus007 Před 2 měsíci

    Tricky, isn't it, when you're the captain of a ship and a moth. You see a lighthouse. You know you shouldn't, BUT.....

  • @VinnySlouth
    @VinnySlouth Před rokem +1

    DNA is in his humor because, Humor is in his DNA, which isn't easy with letters like ACGT.

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Před rokem +3

    13:00

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Před rokem +1

    (Lighthouse in the tempest question mark)
    DNA!

  • @robertrickwood8896
    @robertrickwood8896 Před rokem +3

    The dna joke is 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @camerondempster4147
    @camerondempster4147 Před 3 lety +11

    I pity the other comedians. Not matter how good their jokes are
    It's tough keeping up with the Jones's.

  • @lloydgriffiths1847
    @lloydgriffiths1847 Před 10 měsíci +4

    the umpire high chair joke was the biggest brain joke I’ve heard

  • @wonderwend1
    @wonderwend1 Před 2 lety +2

    I want to see his shirt collection

  • @blindsightedkill
    @blindsightedkill Před rokem +2

    1:35 wait didn't Hugh Dennis say "I think that was a floating voter!"

  • @mrbenoit5018
    @mrbenoit5018 Před 10 měsíci +4

    8:20 why’s he so fast

  • @javeedsultan8484
    @javeedsultan8484 Před 2 lety +6

    The man is genius, on par with Steven Wright and Emo Philips

  • @user-db2uk8iq9r
    @user-db2uk8iq9r Před 5 měsíci +3

    "Women divers" 😆😆😆

  • @RighteousPursuitMinistries
    @RighteousPursuitMinistries Před 4 měsíci +1

    Well the Kiev joke sure hasn't aged well

  • @atifmanzoor63
    @atifmanzoor63 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Milton reminds of of Lionel Messi

  • @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex
    @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex Před 2 lety +5

    turn the lights out she said.. what about the boats said the lighthouse keeper

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Před 6 měsíci

      That whole run of lighthouse jokes was utterly brilliant. His delivery is so perfect.

  • @Laudon1228
    @Laudon1228 Před 2 lety +3

    Is that a terrible flan or a really good quiche?

  • @michaelangus5602
    @michaelangus5602 Před 2 lety +1

    WeLcOmE To ThE BaKeRy

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv Před rokem +2

    12:22

  • @mistyj9578
    @mistyj9578 Před 2 lety +1

    pml lol omg ... x hahaha

  • @heli-crewhgs5285
    @heli-crewhgs5285 Před rokem +2

    It was so good to see Russell Howard….. say nothing!

    • @davesmith9325
      @davesmith9325 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Even better we didnt see nish kumar at all

  • @paperchain1239
    @paperchain1239 Před 2 lety +3

    Milton would be a really cool guy to be married to.....

    • @janel342
      @janel342 Před 2 lety +2

      Only if you wear shades at breakfast

  • @bip3937
    @bip3937 Před 3 lety +5

    Pencil case joke?

  • @crashingdown6924
    @crashingdown6924 Před 4 lety +3

    Waiting for first jenny joke...

  • @amanekabbaj
    @amanekabbaj Před 4 lety +8

    What was the sushi one? It was a bit muffled

    • @jamessteers4214
      @jamessteers4214 Před 4 lety +7

      Sushi is served on a moving conveyor belt in sushi restaurants. The luggage reclaim at airports also has moving conveyor belts. The guy mistook the baggage reclaim for the sushi conveyor belt.

    • @ChallengeCommander
      @ChallengeCommander Před 4 lety +8

      It certainly was a slow burner for Dara

    • @paulshubsachs4977
      @paulshubsachs4977 Před 2 lety +1

      @@ChallengeCommander .....but, if you knew sushi like I know sushi....

  • @tomharrison1849
    @tomharrison1849 Před 2 lety +1

    Can anyone explain the sausage joke?

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 Před 10 měsíci +1

      10:13 it involves a sausage mascot from Lincolnshire used in the Olympics that looks like Dara.

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Před rokem

    What's the bleedin' time? 11 minutes 40 Seconds was booked. This s light wee Kari never goes out.

  • @changvasejarik62
    @changvasejarik62 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Frankie may have been the best, but Milton got just as many if not more laughs out of me with his absurd humor.
    I nominate him to be next cyberman king.

  • @tweedlio2763
    @tweedlio2763 Před 10 měsíci +1

    8:13 yhey do taste like a??

  • @highdownmartin
    @highdownmartin Před 4 měsíci

    Not bad at accents either

  • @ZATennisFan
    @ZATennisFan Před rokem +1

    Only one objection. Steffi Graf didn’t have huge biceps🤣🤣In fact she had one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen especially the legs….

  • @xSyresi
    @xSyresi Před 4 lety +2

    H

  • @malcolmdale9607
    @malcolmdale9607 Před 24 dny

    Other "comedians" should learn that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

  • @edwardkinsey5680
    @edwardkinsey5680 Před 4 lety +12

    First

  • @ebola1974
    @ebola1974 Před 9 měsíci

    I loved him on MTW, so went to see him live. Awful. Worst stand up I’ve seen

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Před 6 měsíci

      What was bad about it?

    • @ebola1974
      @ebola1974 Před 6 měsíci

      @@ElegantSpud A lot of the jokes were ones he had said before on MTW, so obviously his jokes on that were not thought up on the spot and the standup routine just didn't seem to flow. I was really disappointed and so was the wife as we found him to be really funny on MTW

  • @beeble2003
    @beeble2003 Před 2 lety

    Wow, that New Orleans joke was in spectacularly bad taste. But the rest was amazing, as always.

  • @rootpotato
    @rootpotato Před 3 lety +2

    Milton Jones gives me the creeps . . . It's only a matter of time before everyone finds out what he's done!