How Nick stopped his mind (and sleep) from controlling his life by letting go of the struggle (#41)
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2022
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Nick’s insomnia journey began in 2000 when he relocated and started a new job. Stress, uncertainty, and anxiety took over his life as he found that the more he tried to fight or avoid his thoughts the more powerful they became.
Nick felt helpless. He didn’t know how to deal with the difficult thoughts and feelings he was experiencing and he didn’t know how to improve his sleep. The more he tried, the more he struggled.
In this episode, Nick shares how he adopted a new approach to dealing with difficult thoughts and feelings. Instead of trying to control them, he began to acknowledge them and make space for them. Instead of fighting with them and getting distracted by them, he validated them and then redirected his attention on actions that would help him move toward the life he wanted to live.
Nick practiced kindly bringing his mind back to the present whenever it started to time travel. He began to notice and savor all the things he was missing out on when he found himself running on autopilot. He started to focus on living a life aligned with his values - doing things that were important to him - even after difficult nights and even in the presence of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Today, Nick has a different and more workable relationship with sleep and the full range of thoughts and feelings he experiences as a human being. He is no longer haunted by sleep. He sees sleep as part of his life but not his entire life.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
#insomnia
#sleep
All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Such a calming voice. Always. Thanks Martin
Thanks for sharing - and you're welcome!
Great video Martin. thanks for sharing your experience Nick
Thanks for sharing! I am so grateful to Nick for coming on!
I love this conversation of two very thoughtful people.
Thanks for your kind words - they're appreciated!
Nick is so outspoken, it’s fascinating to listen to him! I’m so happy these stories exist and people are capable of doing such amazing things! People are so powerful. Thank you for sharing 🙌🏻
Nick was a great guest! Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment, Aløna!
I've had very similar experiences to Nick over many years. It is very hard to escape the reality that fear creates in the mind. But comforting to hear someone express similar thoughts to mine and encouraging to know he's made progress. Thanks to Nick for sharing.
I am so grateful to Nick for coming on and sharing his experience. The fear is real, 100% - and it can be made more difficult when we engage in a battle with it or respond in a way that moves us away from the kind of life we want to live and the person we want to be.
Omg I can totally relate to nick.. the distress the self pity the anxiety the dread of the birds singing. And the people around you suffer too its horrible
You are not alone.
Thanks for sharing another fellow traveler’s journey Martin. We aren’t defective, we aren’t alone, and we WILL sleep!
😎✌
You're welcome. And, as for your second sentence, my response is agreed, agreed, agreed!
Sir i really admire you a lot🙏
Thank you! I appreciate it!
Finding your channel was SO a encouraging to me to day . I listened to tons of videos and feel so encouraged to know I can sleep and that I don’t have to let it ruin my life. Does this also apply to people with adrenal fatigue? Thank you!! 🙏🏼
Welcome, Jessica! I think all the information I share can be helpful for people with any health condition - adrenal fatigue included!
@@InsomniaCoach Thank you! I appreciate this encouragement! 😃
@@jessicaa562 You're welcome!
Hi Martin, I've suffered from insomnia for 3,5 months on and off and your channel has helped me a lot even though I still have anxiety in relation to sleep and sporadic difficult nights.
My question is this; can you make a video if you haven't already on physical exercise and sleep? I often hear from professionals that I need to be more physically active to sleep better. The problem is that in difficult periods of poor or no sleep I have very little energy to spend on exercising. I also suffer from hypothyroid so I'm always fatigued and when I have little sleep to go on it makes things even worse. Do you think it is true that it is easier to fall asleep when you have exercised? Some of my bad nights have happened on a day where I have been physically active too..
Thanks for the great question! I don't think physical exercise has a huge effect on sleep - the only thing that truly leads to sleep is being awake for long enough. With that being said, being active is usually beneficial for our overall health and an active life is often associated with a richer and more meaningful life - and that can help make sleep/wakefulness less of a focus. Quite often, the less focus sleep/wakefulness has, the less of an issue it becomes!
I know people that had sleep tests and they were asleep even when they thought they were awake. I bet he was actually sleeping, but restless sleep.
Loved this video! Are you on audea? most of my audio is consumed there and would appreciate the audio version of your content on that platform
Not at the current time, but perhaps at some point in the future!
Hi Martin im suffering from acute insomnia from 1 month i started applying stimulus control and going to bed 1 am to 6 am sleep window but thing is im having trouble initiating sleep but after that im getting short dreams and waking up every 15-20 mins still shall i stay in bed in that window or wake up and save the sleep drive that is getting fragmented with small sleeps?
I think it's OK to stay in bed for as long as that feels comfortable. If it starts to feel really unpleasant, you might do something more pleasant instead - and that more pleasant activity might be something you do in bed or out of bed.
Here’s an odd one for you, I work swing shift so I rotate back and forth from nights to days I’ve been doing good compared to the past. It check this odd ball out. I got off of night shift Friday morning. Slept from 7am to 12:30 after noon… spent the day then came home and went to bed at midnight and slept till 11am…. Next night went to bed at 12:30 and woke up at 7 and last night I got ZERO sleep and I’m not tired at all…. Been up 24 hours now and I’m wired up. Is this common in your area of study?
Shift work can be really tough on the body clock so I am not surprised that you are experiencing the symptoms you described. This isn't really my area of expertise, though - I'd suggest seeking advice from someone who specializes in circadian rhythm sleep disorders and has experience helping shift workers.
Hi, I have been battling OCD and general anxiety for quite some time now, it has in turn caused me to have episodes of bad insomnia where I can hardly get some sleep. It worries me because I keep thinking of sleep so I can work the next day. I tend to call off work because I’ll find it hard to operate after not sleeping all night as I work in construction in AZ heat which doesn’t seem safe, but I also NEED to work, what’s the best approach for me?
Been having the same worries for a few years now but the advice that helped me (im still working on internalizing it) from Daniel Erichsen’s channel: you need to be okay with being awake and find something enjoyable at night no matter how late it gets, this teaches the brain that it’s safe to be awake and that even if you are not feeling like yourself the next day, it’s still okay and safe. And don’t be too hard on yourself for being less alert/drained/sleep deprived the next day. Educate yourself on insomnia (i recommend the sleep coach school channel for this) and be kind to yourself
I wonder if going in to work even after a difficult night might be worth an experiment?
@@11ellie7 That's some great advice! We can't control sleep and we can't prevent wakefulness - but we always have the opportunity to do something more appealing whenever nighttime wakefulness feels unpleasant.
@@InsomniaCoach exactly what I did, & I’ve been doing so much better, thank you for your videos. 🙏🏽
@@bapexbill7242 Wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing!
I just don't understand why I'm getting so sick and getting more restless from not sleeping. Prior to insomnia, if I didn't sleep, I felt so tired and could barely do anything. Now with chronic insomnia, I am getting more restlessness and am getting very very sick. My body is getting more inflamed and is causing double the problems now. I just can't figure it out
That sounds like something you should discuss with your doctor, Josh. I wish you all the best and hope things improve for you soon.
Can chronic insomnia over the course of years cause permanent brain damage or disabilities? I’ve had chronic sleep issues for around 5 years now I’ll go good for awhile to extreme conditions such as 1 or 2 hours a night for up to a couple weeks at a time… then I’ll sleep good on my days off then back to insomnia and I just feel like Life is nowhere near as realistic as it used to be. Emotions are dull….. vision problems… blurry vision …short fused … just all kinds of stuff
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes any health problem whatsoever. I hope this helps!
My vision is soo much worse since insomnia. I never had vision troubles...no glasses or contacts, always 20/20 or better. No where near the same now. My body is a wreck from insomnia now too. I cannot work and I choose not to drive most days because it's just not safe. Not sleeping in itself might not cause health issues but you look at any severe insomniac and you'll see that there is definite wear on the heart from the stress. Also it is not normal to not sleep for 3-4 days then (if I'm lucky) have a crash night and then repeat the process (for months and years on end). Our bodies are not designed to not sleep and not go through the appropriate sleep stages. It's when our mind and our bodies repair. I would be very surprised if years from now the whole "insomnia can't hurt you" is proven false. I'm not talking about people that have a minor sleep disruptance here or there. I'm talking about the severe chronic insomniacs. I understand you though, life is no where near the same anymore. I am a shell of a human being. Life really isn't very much fun anymore. Sometimes I just want to end it but I'm too scared to do it.
@@newvolumee773 do you ever suffer from panic attacks
@@jordanc1910 Yes, I have severe chronic insomnia. There isn't a side effect I haven't had and/or don't currently suffer from. All of which I never had pre-insomnia. Severe panic/anxiety attacks, adrenaline rushes, hyper sleep, twitching, night sweats, headaches...I don't need to go through and list them all but yes. Now I will say this, these are not all constant. I don't get every single one of these every night. But most nights will consist of having some.
@@newvolumee773 I’ll say I’ve dealt with insomnia for some time now and I will say. A lot of what he says is correct… I only have trouble sleeping IF I think about it ya know
just wanna let you know. my insomina is geting more better now. since march 18 it was the wrost. no sleep drive and only had 30mins to 2 hours of sleep. then in may and june good nights would be 4-5 hours and bad nights 2-3 hours of sleep and sleep drive was happening finaly. then july on good days 5-6 hours and bad nights 2-3 hours and onces or twice a week i,ll get 7-8 hours of sleep. now today since augest i get 5-6 hours normal now and on good nights 8-10 hours of sleep only onces or twice a week. i still over think but im still sleeping good somehow. my insomina is goiing away more every mounth it seems. mabay by november or december i,ll be fully cured from my insomina. im not tryng anything. just doing the samething i do every play my video games and drink pepsi. yes im a big time pepsi drinker i drink 8 cans a day. i still have insomina. its just mild now. its not strong no more. my insomina was strong in march and april. since may i notice i was started to sleep better little by little. back in march and april when my insomina was very severe i went drs and they put me on milatonion. did not work. tryed sleepy time tea did not work. tryed night quill did not work. i was always very worryd i was gonna die if i don.t sleep 8 hours on tell i started watching your videos they made me feel better knowing we won.t die or get health porplems from imsomina because theres ppl who had imsomina for 30 years and had no health porplems and lived a healthy life and full life. so afther hearing about that i stoped worrying if i only got 30mins to 2 hours of sleep. so since then my sleep just started to get better as mounths go by. now today my insomina is only mild now. i can only get 5-6 hours of sleep and i,ll feel good the whole day. i can only get 8-10 hours of sleep if i been sleeping 5-6 horus for 5 to 7 days and i,ll get super tired even if im over thinking i,ll fell a sleep fast and get a 8-10 hours fo sleep and on thos good days when i wake up to go bath room i can fall back to sleep in 5mins. last satrday i got 10 hours of sleep when i came from a family trip. i had bad sleep over there because the beds were not comfey. we stayed 2 days and i had bad nights of sleep only geting 30mins each night. then when we on our way home i was super tired keeped almost falling a sleep in the car. and it was a 4 hour drive home. when we finaly got home. i went right to room noting even thinking of noting. i was to tired to even over think. once i layed down and closed my eyes i fell a sleep in few secs and sleeped the whole night geting 10 hours of sleep. woke up and feeled super good. haven.t feeled like that since feb befor my imsomina started. then the next night it was back to 5-6 hours of sleep again. im happy with that tho. 5-6 hours every night is better then noting. im just happy i can stay a sleep 5-6 hours. befor i use to only stay a sleep 2 hours.
Thanks for sharing! It sounds as though shifting attention away from sleep and focusing on living the kind of life you want to live rather than trying to control sleep or avoid nighttime wakefulness has really helped!
Appreciate your honesty but its disappointing that much of your approach is largely about accepting it and getting on with life, reframing it as you call it.
Thanks for sharing. What's a more workable approach to accepting what cannot be controlled and doing things that keep you moving toward the life you want to live when all this difficult stuff is present?