Woke Grocery Store

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  • čas přidán 9. 03. 2020
  • Join us as we take a look at some of the ethnobotany in the woke-est grocery store in the bay area. Educational content is virtually non-existent as we explore what exactly it would take to make passive-aggressive woke citizens attack a person. Who can do a better job of tokenizing marginalized people? Who wins the most points for having more TRANS-POC friends? Taking a break from the inherent joy of trolling climate-denying obsolete grandpas here to throw some jabs at the other side, as well!
    We also explore the phenomenon of "Hippy Snake Oil" (trademark) - In a country where the Healthcare system is completely broken and health maintenance is completely unaffordable, Hippy Snake Oil sells and CPBBD is there to make sure of it by propagating nonsense dressed in a beard and scarf. What happens when a Mercedes or BMW is dented with an errant shopping cart in Berkeley? Which of the 5 varieties of pineapple will Tony Santoro select for purchase? When's the last time a Loss Prevention agent tackled a homeless person in the doorway for shoplifting?
    Please be sure to take advantage of the free samples at the cheese counter on the way out in order to supplement your lunch.
    Angry EMAIL can be sent to crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com
    This "DYSTOPIA LITE" video provided absolutely no educational content, but if you still feel like donating to the cause, consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
    Or perhaps swiping a shirt off the merch site at www.bonfire.com/store/crime-p...
    Please be sure to visit the CPBBD reddit for a list of botany, evolution, and ecology books and where to find free pdfs of each. These are important reading materials in this epic time of mass extinction and widespread biodiversity loss. Salam!
    Endnote: I hope most people understand that I'm not shitting on all herbalism, which is really just applied phytochemistry. I'm only shitting on the industry behind it and the woo-woo behind the unproven aspects of it. Some of the ideas out there are valid, some are complete nonsense. Plants are essentially chemical factories, and all those secondary metabolites have a purpose. It's all worth being skeptical about until read up on or researched though. Like it or not, the legitimate use of the compounds and secondary metabolites in plants for the remedy of human ailments (herbalism) can turn into just another fad very easily, and behind that fad is a huge industry selling everything from over-priced makeup to tinctures and pills that are %100 snake oil. And fads of ANY kind are fun to mock.
    Many people - without knowing anything about the phytochemistry of these plants (and certainly not caring about the ecology or ethical "harvesting" of them) will treat them as remedies for a number of ailments that these plants have no valid treatment of. There are also people who think that because a compound came from a plant, that it is somehow endowed with more remedial potential than a chemical synthesized in a lab, though of course there is no legitimacy behind this. It seems to be another common belief that herbalism somehow trumps and is inherently at odds with "Western Medicine" (ie vaccines and doctors). This is ridiculous, as there is both legitimate science and complete nonsense behind both ("Western Medicine" seems to have a better grip on the "complete nonsense" portion though). Because of some of these silly beliefs, many wild plants end up ripped out of habitat to satiate an obsession that at times can seem to parallel the behavior of compulsive shopping.
    Explaining this in depth, of course, kills the joke. It's much easier and more hilarious to let people interpret this however they want and be really mad and upset. But I figure a little clarification and articulation will pay off in the end by propagating ideas about legitimate respect for plants and more importantly, the habitats that they are a part of, as well as maybe inspiring people to think more critically about "natural" medicines (remember, ricin and arsenic are "natural" substances, though I still have no clue as to what that word means) before shelling out 50 dollars on pills and tinctures.
  • Věda a technologie

Komentáře • 3,7K

  • @toyotatacoma1616
    @toyotatacoma1616 Před 3 lety +3491

    There’s something innately hysterical about the people just shopping and looking at him anxiously as this guy preforms a running commentary.

    • @briannelson3830
      @briannelson3830 Před 3 lety +14

      @Cynthia May it’s just your ass

    • @83delgado
      @83delgado Před 3 lety +34

      @@briannelson3830 no it's smug.

    • @truthtoad
      @truthtoad Před 3 lety +73

      Back in the day alot of the stores and restaurants used to allow dumpster diving or gave food to people who collected and distributed it to the people in need. Now it seems more important to be fighting for the right to be a potato

    • @burntchickennugget8142
      @burntchickennugget8142 Před 3 lety +8

      420th like

    • @lucasflowers2774
      @lucasflowers2774 Před 3 lety

      @@83delgado oh man, DOUBLE ass

  • @respen43
    @respen43 Před 4 lety +3022

    "No one has ever drank 8 fizzy waters and got a dwi or discharged a firearm at their neighbor"
    Is that a challenge?

    • @Hayley-sl9lm
      @Hayley-sl9lm Před 4 lety +115

      They totally make alcoholic fizz water now for like drunken soccer moms and what the shit

    • @coyotetrickster5758
      @coyotetrickster5758 Před 4 lety +18

      Obviously he hasn't heard about the man who attacked the clerk over a straw...crazy people drink soda too...

    • @gateauxq4604
      @gateauxq4604 Před 4 lety +6

      Maybe? Just don’t drink Waterloo it tastes like candy took a shit

    •  Před 4 lety +3

      Do it! But remember to delete your comment first, and to call the media, and blame the fizzy water, you didnt know it could cause violence.

    • @markmiller4503
      @markmiller4503 Před 4 lety +1

      @@gateauxq4604 lol I thought it was gross very gross

  • @destonlee2838
    @destonlee2838 Před 9 měsíci +59

    "Nobodys ever drank 8 fizzy waters and discharge a firearm at a neighbor..." wind me up and watch me go. Challenge accepted.

    • @CJVS995
      @CJVS995 Před 2 měsíci +1

      Isn't that what whiteclaw is for?

  • @Trashpandapermaculture
    @Trashpandapermaculture Před rokem +194

    Berkeley Bowl is one of the few things I miss about the Bay. One of my favorite memories was overhearing a lady looking for cucumbers. Now there just so happened to be some in the bargain area (woo!) so I let her know. She turns to me with the most condescending look I've ever seen and says 'I only eat organic'. I then let her know that, thankfully, the ones in the bargain were organic. She then turns away and repeats her question to the worker :D Bargain bin though was ridiculous. Could feed an entire commune on $15 a week.

    • @RayFromTheHayclan
      @RayFromTheHayclan Před rokem +25

      You obviously insulted her when you said bargain.

    • @callusklaus2413
      @callusklaus2413 Před 4 měsíci +6

      Organic cucumbers, as opposed to the silicon based cucumbers lmao

    • @EastWindCommunity1973
      @EastWindCommunity1973 Před 3 měsíci

      Noice

    • @Papawcanner
      @Papawcanner Před 2 měsíci

      I thought ladies wanted cucumbers anyway they could get them .

    • @meatfarts
      @meatfarts Před měsícem

      My sister was a cashier at the Union Square Whole Fools in the late naughts and she said there was a lady who made her punch in every sku number because she “didn’t want the lasers contaminating her food.”

  • @buckelewtravis
    @buckelewtravis Před 4 lety +1942

    I used to work there. Got fired for eating out of the garbage. Good times

  • @nonoluigi
    @nonoluigi Před 4 lety +1703

    “. . . a country where you get a bunch of mice to vote for cats . . . “. Ah! The American Story! Poetic brilliance, not soon forgotten!

    • @destinydavidson1524
      @destinydavidson1524 Před 4 lety +9

      Check out Mouseland by Tommy Douglas!

    • @atomictraveller
      @atomictraveller Před 4 lety +2

      check out antimasonic party with john quincy adams!
      ...thennn 1945's "don't be a sucker" to understand why no one cares about mmmhmmmhmm anymore
      but definately don't check out west papua for the last fifty fucking years

    • @nonoluigi
      @nonoluigi Před 4 lety +2

      @@destinydavidson1524 Thanks. Yes, I searched and saw that shortly after my comment, but decided to let it go. And because I love his off-the-tongue, flyby delivery!

    • @LoveCarol
      @LoveCarol Před 4 lety +2

      “...and that’s why snake oil sells” 😳

    • @Corners___
      @Corners___ Před 4 lety +1

      Destiny Davidson the greatest Canadian right there

  • @HandToolRescue
    @HandToolRescue Před rokem +139

    This is one of those "Bring Your Own Ass" stores.

    • @outthasky
      @outthasky Před 11 měsíci +5

      I love the idea that several months after you chuckled at the clever word play, CZcams sends a notification “one more persons got it”😂

    • @chauncey5962
      @chauncey5962 Před 8 měsíci +2

      Wtf are you doing here?

    • @MikkiPike
      @MikkiPike Před 5 měsíci

      thank you for existing. your comments are almost as good as your videos. 💖

    • @davidec.4021
      @davidec.4021 Před 3 měsíci

      Lmaooo

    • @ub-4630
      @ub-4630 Před 2 měsíci

      Dang. I do be leaving them at home sometimes. Unintentionally, of course.

  • @nope4779
    @nope4779 Před rokem +92

    i worked on the juice bar at whole foods in a upper class area of LA. We would sell 2oz. wheatgrass shots and people kept asking for huge amounts of them at once or trying to buy whole pallets, I wondered out loud to a coworker why, and I was told that WHEATGRASS ENEMAS were the current health trend. Everyone was so obsessed with organic stuff they really were ready to put it up their butts, but when it came to lip fillers, cheek fillers, and fake butts that organic standard went right out the window lol.

    • @kristenmackenzie2937
      @kristenmackenzie2937 Před rokem +5

      i mean technically fake butts are organic if they’re made from your own grafted fat lol

  • @patrickstonecrusher
    @patrickstonecrusher Před 4 lety +905

    I like to imagine that every time the video cuts out it's you getting kicked out of the store, then you go right back in and start filming again.

    • @bellebonebag8096
      @bellebonebag8096 Před 3 lety +9

      @Cynthia May LOL

    • @bipslone8880
      @bipslone8880 Před rokem +1

      @@bellebonebag8096 Have you ever asked yourself why upsetting others bring you pleasure?

    • @bellebonebag8096
      @bellebonebag8096 Před rokem +6

      @@bipslone8880 No. Why?

    • @MrCantStopTheRobot
      @MrCantStopTheRobot Před rokem +6

      I'm going to pretend this is what really happened. Maybe he waited thirty seconds before turning around.

    • @yolyprog2561
      @yolyprog2561 Před rokem +2

      😂😂😂

  • @CORRECT05
    @CORRECT05 Před 4 lety +1807

    “And the best part is, you’re gonna be grocery shopping next to people that got PhDs, and know what the word intersectionality means” lmao

    • @CORRECT05
      @CORRECT05 Před 4 lety +127

      Vote Bernie baby

    • @camazotzz
      @camazotzz Před 4 lety +12

      half the guests on Democracy Now shop at Berkeley Bowl

    • @marymarysmarket3508
      @marymarysmarket3508 Před 4 lety +36

      @@CORRECT05 yay...lets all be slaves

    • @emmitstewart1921
      @emmitstewart1921 Před 4 lety +23

      I googled it, so now I know what intersectionality means. Do you know what gobbledygook means?

    • @Mlpzeldafan011100
      @Mlpzeldafan011100 Před 4 lety +73

      @@marymarysmarket3508 already doing that, man, pretty sure none of our asses here are getting by but for the graces of some old people and a government. Out of all the old white dudes to make overlord, could do worse than that one. I mean better would be burn it all down and stuff, but y'know, baby steps because we're a collective set of babies apparently

  • @Cheezitnator
    @Cheezitnator Před 9 měsíci +16

    Jeez 12 dollars for a bundle of mint? My mint took over an entire raised bed with zero effort for free. I always have enough for mojitos.

    • @machoman5472
      @machoman5472 Před 4 dny

      How much is the land worth that allows you to grow mint? It's not just labor.

  • @theunknowngamer5477
    @theunknowngamer5477 Před rokem +176

    I had a neighbor with a habit of driving a two hour, round trip, to visit this store.
    One of his complaints was the avoidable things people should do to avoid global warming.

    • @hicknopunk
      @hicknopunk Před rokem +7

      🤣🤣

    • @suzz1776
      @suzz1776 Před rokem +3

      Lmfao.

    • @theunknowngamer5477
      @theunknowngamer5477 Před rokem

      @@suzz1776
      Hey, KEN, someone besides me, thinks your
      Hippie Hype might be a hypocritic horror.

    • @oliviacarolinanogueira7769
      @oliviacarolinanogueira7769 Před rokem +11

      driving doesn't do shit about global warming
      companies do.

    • @danielscarbrough4363
      @danielscarbrough4363 Před rokem

      @@oliviacarolinanogueira7769 IMHO you're on the right path. Now research SOLAR CYCLES and global climate history...you will be closer to the truth/facts of the matter...climate is not caused nor changed by us at this juncture in time.
      Solar and Volcanic activity are the greatest causes.
      The records reveal that Solar activity is the greatest cause of climate changes.
      Volcano ash clouds can block the sun, emit HUGE volumes of C02 and noxious gas content, under sea volcanoes change/affect sea current, temperature and weather patterns too....and then there is the PERMAFROST that belches billions of tons of METHANE into the atmosphere each year!
      Now that is a lot to consider!!!!
      But NOOOOO...the willfully ignorant listen to Greta the goof attack on oil....cuz she knows stuff! ROFL
      (they use children because they are protected from rebuke) Like asshats use children as shields in war.

  • @NebulousArray
    @NebulousArray Před 3 lety +826

    "I dunno what the fuck a gooseberry is but that's a physalis"
    Bro i love you

    • @othersbyuri
      @othersbyuri Před rokem

      He’s fast, but so far I got He’s experienced getting kicked in the balls and putting things up ass😂

    • @VangoghsDoggo
      @VangoghsDoggo Před rokem +17

      If you ever get a chance to eat one or the jam made from them, there is nothing like it, awesome, very much like honey. I had them once, found them wild where I live. They are not as common as they used to be. Victorians all had them in their gardens, but then they fell out of favor. They do grow wild, but only if they get the right conditions. You can find places to order the plants for a garden. They are making a comeback.

    • @HighlanderNorth1
      @HighlanderNorth1 Před rokem +4

      🤮 I actually bought a pack of that same brand of "cape gooseberries" at a regular Winn Dixie grocery store when I was down in Florida in April of this year. They are absolutely awful! Turns out they are tropical, and they are related to tomatoes. They taste like a ridiculously sour, unripe tomato, NOT a berry! There's zero sweetness to those "berries"!
      I made the mistake of assuming they were related to the fruit from the "other" gooseberries in the currant family, which I grew at my house on a whim way back in 2004. The REAL gooseberries are sweet and pleasant tasting.

    • @vermin5367
      @vermin5367 Před rokem +3

      @@HighlanderNorth1 classic nightshades, expect a sweet fruit, get a bland tomato 🤷🏼

    • @hailtr
      @hailtr Před rokem +5

      @@HighlanderNorth1 When they're properly ripe the sweetness is stronger than the tartness. I live in South Africa though so maybe Cape gooseberries are only good when grown in the Cape, lol. Apparently the English kind is nicer but I've never tried

  • @masta182
    @masta182 Před 4 lety +1008

    This store is carrying a lot of suppositories.

  • @lassassindu5071
    @lassassindu5071 Před rokem +74

    8:35 "If socialized medecine ever did become a thing, they'll put all the hippie snake oil guys out of business"
    Frenchman here ; I don't think you were being ironic on this one : No it won't.
    Herbalism, homeopathy and other snake oils won't be vanquished by socialized healthcare.
    Boiron is a French company, whose huge influence in France even managed to get them many of their products refunded by the socialized medecine program.
    Lack of access to proper treatment and medical expertise, however, will increase pseudo-medical sales and influence.

    • @oddhate
      @oddhate Před rokem +6

      Okay but who asked?

    • @matthewflores4183
      @matthewflores4183 Před rokem +1

      @@oddhate your mom

    • @abstrusepaladin
      @abstrusepaladin Před rokem +1

      Then socialized healthcare shouldn't fund those. EZ

    • @A_A828
      @A_A828 Před rokem +15

      I think you're missing the point here. As a fellow European living in a country with a social healthcare system, yes, of course we have these BS homeopathic stores and whatnot, but they are not government subsidized or anything. Where I live you can get your necessary medical subscriptions and healthcare entirely for free (of course, we pay for it through taxes, but I'm more than happy to do so). If you want to spend your own hard-earned money on essential oils you can, but the government won't be paying for it.
      I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lot more folks buying BS folkloric treatments in the US since they're probably cheaper compared to actually seeing a doctor there.

    • @zoned7609
      @zoned7609 Před rokem

      @@oddhate it's a CZcams video nobody needs to ask, dumbfuck

  • @nathanschmidt7662
    @nathanschmidt7662 Před 7 měsíci +17

    I'm cracking up knowing that some random grocery store shopper told Tony what a fiddlehead is.

  • @thefriar8883
    @thefriar8883 Před 3 lety +1219

    That mushroom section was seriously impressive. Wish I could find a store like that

    • @GrandmasterDinnerRoll
      @GrandmasterDinnerRoll Před 3 lety +11

      You got any H-Marts or Central Markets nearby?

    • @mimszanadunstedt441
      @mimszanadunstedt441 Před 3 lety +18

      Lionsmane is supposed to taste good and be healthy, mushrooms must rot damn fast tho, shouldnt they try drying some out?

    • @mooonienelson2126
      @mooonienelson2126 Před 3 lety +34

      That ain't no shit. I live someplace where we get two kinds of melons and Meyer lemons are exotic. I went a little bit nuts with the rice selection. I'd put up with someone trying to talk down to me for a chance to shop for my fruits and vegetables in a place like that.

    • @100GTAGUY
      @100GTAGUY Před 2 lety +13

      @@mimszanadunstedt441 worst case scenario invest in a home dehydrator or freeze dryer and DIY

    • @chloeedmund4350
      @chloeedmund4350 Před rokem +5

      Same. I’d love to try fiddleheads too.

  • @peppercornsauce5067
    @peppercornsauce5067 Před 3 lety +744

    Those shoppers were looking anxious, there's this guy walking around talking about putting groceries in his ass .. brilliant.

    • @roxanneconner7185
      @roxanneconner7185 Před 3 lety +6

      LOL, Red Pill, you of all people should know he was referring to suppositories

    • @karamlevi
      @karamlevi Před 3 lety +19

      Lefties are anxious cus their lifestyle rules change all the time and you just don’t know what’s stable.
      Plus, many are it people, anti social types, and can’t flow with fun conversations.

    • @8ftbed
      @8ftbed Před 3 lety +8

      He had an entourage of housewives when he toured the zucchini section. 😎

    • @rocknrollparty1313
      @rocknrollparty1313 Před 3 lety +16

      @@karamlevi Stable? Like donnie-the-ex-prasident?

    • @Akiironzo
      @Akiironzo Před 2 lety +40

      ​@@karamlevi Joey is poking fun at people who are aesthetically left. People like that tend to be wary about the image they project because their primary focus is puffing themselves up while lording their "moral superiority" over others. Which, ironically, is exactly what you're doing in your comment.
      This video is pretty good. It talks about a lot of chronic societal issues that the current powers are either too incompetent to deal with, unable to deal with, or outright refuse to deal with but from (what sounds like) a comedic, down-to-earth, pessimistic, left-leaning perspective.
      And the shoppers were "anxious" because some weird guy is walking around with a camera while admiring fungi and talking about shoving herbs and pills up his ass. lmao

  • @superjeffstanton
    @superjeffstanton Před 11 měsíci +7

    "to Clease out the misery and the the desperation and the ... of the the person that lived here before you."😂😂

  • @pierauspitz
    @pierauspitz Před rokem +42

    Sadly, the hippie snake oil business is doing extremely well in countries WITH socialised health care. The popularity of homeopathy in France and Germany is beyond understanding. Irrationality is just too universal ;)

    • @pierauspitz
      @pierauspitz Před rokem

      This statement just shows that like a lot of people, you do not know what you are talking about.
      1 Phytotherapy and Homeopathy are VERY different things.
      Phytotherapy is the use of plants for medicine. While fraught with problems linked with posology (concentration of active ingredient varies widely with plant variety, origin and even season), it has its own merits.
      Homeopathy is a completely fraudulent "medicine", based on long-debunked humbug. (the 4 humours, the likes cure likes, and the so-called "memory of water").
      2. Misunderstanding of the chemistry:
      Salicylic acid does have some use in medicine, for its corrosive properties (treatment of skin disorders) but , despite so called "common knowledge", it does nothing to treat pain and fever. However, it near guarantees digestive issues that could be fatal...
      Acetyl-salicylic acid, on the other hand, is the one found in aspirin. Yes, it is synthesized from salicylic acid and/or salicine, but it is an entirely different substance, and the only one that has any effect for fever and pain, and yet, it has still rather unpleasant side effect and high risk of toxicity. It is completely synthetic and man-made.
      The story about willow-bark being the same as aspirin is the perfect example of New-Age nonsense mostly based on bad reading/understanding of mistaken "traditional" medicine (you know, the same one that bled people for anything because of humor theory) and wishful thinking that sadly made its way into common culture.

    • @dayofthejackyl
      @dayofthejackyl Před rokem

      @@stonecodfish2365 homeopathy makes less sense than eating willow bark for aspirin

    • @KnittedSister
      @KnittedSister Před 11 měsíci +1

      ​@@stonecodfish2365have you been watching some Tim Minchin? He has a bit called Storm, where he says this exact thing in a voice snarky enough to rival our favourite botanist.

    • @KnittedSister
      @KnittedSister Před 11 měsíci +3

      I think its not too bad in Denmark. Sure, we got heath freaks, but they usually have their own little specialized store, so the rest of us can be left alone.
      Also, i think the important difference between snake oil believers in countries with social healthcare and without, is that people over here have a choise. They choose to be idiots and believe in this stuff, but they have the option to go see a doctor if they want to, without putting their unborn grandchildren in debt.
      Many in the US don't get to choose bc health care is so expensive, their only option is snake oil and hope for the best.
      Also also, the European rules for what can be sold over the counter, and what you are able to advertise as being beneficial or healthy, or a cure for something are waaaayyyy stricter than the rules in the US.
      Melatonin for example, you can't get that in Denmark without a prescription from your doctor, who has done blood tests and tried to figure out what might be wrong.
      You also can't say that omega3 oil is good for the heart on the package of some plant based cooking oil.

    • @alexevasic8411
      @alexevasic8411 Před 4 měsíci

      I thought that section was half true roasting. Meaning, detoxing isn't real. Alkalized water isn't real. But nutrients and phytonutrients are. CBD heals. Fish oil cures acne. Nutrients are good

  • @xaverelgin8718
    @xaverelgin8718 Před 3 lety +543

    "a country where you get a bunch of rodents voting for cats" pure gold pure genius.

    • @zoned7609
      @zoned7609 Před rokem

      I'm sure if you have an IQ of 75 his comedy is pretty highbrow for you.
      This isn't comedy, it's shit on the bottom of my shoe that I scrape off.

    • @sleepystar1638
      @sleepystar1638 Před rokem +32

      The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them.

    • @TheHexeract
      @TheHexeract Před 11 měsíci +3

      That's like 1920's newspaper comic level humor...

  • @ysucae
    @ysucae Před 4 lety +219

    for detox i like using my kidneys try it sometimes

    • @froggydoodle808
      @froggydoodle808 Před 4 lety +12

      I can borrow your kidneys? Hey, thanks! 😃

    • @Sonicsis
      @Sonicsis Před 3 lety +4

      Pfft u lie, how can ur kidneys cleanse without essential oils

    • @Gr3nadgr3gory
      @Gr3nadgr3gory Před 3 lety +3

      You might want to give them something to cleanse with. Try water. Maybe something really caffinated if you're in a hurry.

    • @toomanymarys7355
      @toomanymarys7355 Před 3 lety +8

      I use my liver, too.

    • @Nawmps
      @Nawmps Před 3 lety +3

      @@Gr3nadgr3gory Some good 'ol methamphetamine usually push things right on through

  • @D-Fens_1632
    @D-Fens_1632 Před rokem +28

    This is not the video I was expecting, but it's the one I didn't know I needed. This is the best goddamn review of a grocery store I've ever seen.

  • @andreasilvestrin7643
    @andreasilvestrin7643 Před 2 lety +124

    I have to say I'm torn. On one side, as a food lover and cook I am totally loving the variety, availability, and selection of some pretty awesome ingredients. On the other, I am disgusted by the fact that 70% of that produce it's either completely out of season (aka farmed somewhere in a greenhouse) or from the other side of the world. Why would you have 5 kinds of pineapple in a supermarket? why 20 different mushrooms? I mean, variety is great but I think in the US people will never learn that too much of anything is - for the most part - BAD.

    • @TBonerton
      @TBonerton Před rokem +20

      Over stimulation leads to under amusement. Look at CZcams, now offering CZcams shorts.
      "If I cant get be highly gratified very quickly I'll find somewhere else to go."
      There is so much selection in the US no one appreciates anything. Rather than learning to like something, find something new to like. Endless selection of unhappiness...

    • @bluefish239
      @bluefish239 Před rokem +8

      It does seem a little overly decadent huh? (that bar full of olives was wild) Some of it reminds me of a large International market nearby, but with much huger piles of everything. But my area probably doesn't have the same kind of population density as Berkley. I wouldn't call my CAM a "woke grocery store", its just where everyone in the East Asian, Indian, and SEA communities have to go for the stuff they need to make their food, cause nowhere else carries alot of that stuff.

    • @chocolatechipslime
      @chocolatechipslime Před rokem +5

      I agree, it is too much produce, I’m sure they waste a lot too. But I am amazed by the selection, I’ve never seen anything like that before and I’m 40 and have lived my whole life in America. But then again I’ve lived in poorer states that are more down to earth

    • @WimsicleStranger
      @WimsicleStranger Před rokem +1

      @@TBonerton Also helps that the current generation has an attention span of 10 seconds

    • @AnyMotoUSA
      @AnyMotoUSA Před rokem +6

      Oh its known, especially for us country folk. Less is usually better, but God dang it that was an impressive variety of ingredients to cook with. Oh well ill just garden what I like to eat.

  • @tangledfish
    @tangledfish Před 4 lety +132

    So much plastic. That's how you know you're saving the environment with your consumption - it's all plastic wrapped.

    • @andreathomas2099
      @andreathomas2099 Před měsícem +1

      Little clown fish.....Wait till you see the pfa's in ur blood...... don't worry your not going be around to care......thus ur additude currently....

  • @simonbecker748
    @simonbecker748 Před 3 lety +2533

    I love how you absolutely don't give a shit about the shoppers. Quality content

    • @jcrnda
      @jcrnda Před 3 lety +22

      That's a free country, at least for now!

    • @jordanjay1479
      @jordanjay1479 Před 3 lety +44

      @@jcrnda Lol. We don't live in a free country. Maybe freeish. A free country or free society is and has always been extremely rare. We have great privileges compared to many countries. The only free people on this earth don't need to pay taxes on the property that they own and still live off the land in tribes.

    • @leroyjenkins4671
      @leroyjenkins4671 Před 2 lety +51

      He's treating them all like NPC's

    • @neonice
      @neonice Před rokem +8

      @@Antsylum Everyone is an NPC to oneself

    • @leethebee1560
      @leethebee1560 Před rokem +4

      Heees one. I want to thank Russia for providing santuary to Brittney for at least 9.5 years. Thank u Putin. We are gratful

  • @nannybannany
    @nannybannany Před rokem +14

    Fiddleheads are DELICIOUS. Sauté them with some butter, yummmm. They're a great foraging staple in the spring here in Vermont. Ostrich ferns (Matteucia struthiopterus) are typically the kind that have edible fiddleheads before they unfurl.
    Edit: Arnica --- I will forever hear and read it as Amica cream from the Heard/Depp trial.

    • @testchannel7575
      @testchannel7575 Před 9 měsíci

      They're also a good source of heavy metals (arsenic and others), so enjoy 😅

  • @Zedigan
    @Zedigan Před 8 měsíci +5

    As a "college student with a septum ring" I fucking love this video and your channel, keep up your amazing work

  • @christophermclaughlin8899
    @christophermclaughlin8899 Před 4 lety +1158

    I’ll be honest, it’s kinda interesting to have you do a brief bit of botanizing down the grocery isle. Seriously. It’s nice to get a bit of botanical background on our fruit and veg. But the cultural anthropology is a nice touch too.

    • @rm71991
      @rm71991 Před rokem

      Botanical background shut up you complete idiot

  • @azuritet3
    @azuritet3 Před 4 lety +492

    The capitalist grocery store that self identifies as a socialist moral compass.

    • @fredrikkarner4115
      @fredrikkarner4115 Před 4 lety +12

      Hmmmn the moral compass is perfectly capitalist too

    • @vvvvvv66666
      @vvvvvv66666 Před 4 lety +110

      the word your looking for is neoliberalism

    • @figgledoi
      @figgledoi Před 4 lety +4

      Fredrik Karner This is one of those situations where you would be right if you werent wrong.

    • @dorkmax7073
      @dorkmax7073 Před 4 lety

      I mean both talk about the value of providing great variety to the people

    • @fbyi2940
      @fbyi2940 Před 3 lety

      China

  • @stagvelvet
    @stagvelvet Před rokem +5

    I want to see the inverse of this; wherein Joey goes to a local farmer's market.

  • @rybosaurus5664
    @rybosaurus5664 Před rokem +35

    Tony I know you posted this like two years ago, but I reckon I watch it at least once a week. Hands down one of the best crimepays videos of all time.

  • @ShawnDanger
    @ShawnDanger Před 4 lety +815

    Could you imagine your just trying to get some mushrooms and get back to your house and avoid a global pandemic and you hear this Chicago guy going talking about fiddleheads and goin "on a goddamn mycology course here" and "we got an endless bounty of fungi" I'd be laughing pretty hard

    • @jackieradley1025
      @jackieradley1025 Před 3 lety +32

      As a Chicago native I really thought he was an east coaster lol

    • @firstlast-xn6ul
      @firstlast-xn6ul Před 3 lety +21

      Accents evolve and adapt to their environment. Some aspects are vestigial, some useful to the current environment, others, used to rag on Berkeley-ites.

    • @--JYM-Rescuing-SS-Minnow
      @--JYM-Rescuing-SS-Minnow Před 3 lety +3

      fun-guy

    • @lysergic_visions3203
      @lysergic_visions3203 Před 3 lety +14

      Jackie Radley I’m From New England & He Kinda Sounds Like He’s From Boston or New York To Me 😂

    • @mick2spic
      @mick2spic Před 2 lety +13

      @@lysergic_visions3203 He sounds like the Chicago Bears superfans that used to be a skit on SNL. He hams up the accent amazingly for our enjoyment here. But yea this amazing dude is indeed from Chicago.

  • @dominique.gonzalez622
    @dominique.gonzalez622 Před 4 lety +196

    "This is where they tackle the homeless when they catch them shoplifting "😣💀

  • @jleebass8323
    @jleebass8323 Před 10 měsíci +4

    I’m only a third of the way through this. 😂 I am stopping now and watching the rest later, after some nice Chamomile tea. If I don’t, I will be going to the hospital due to hyperventilating from laughter.

  • @scumbaag
    @scumbaag Před 8 měsíci +4

    Just found this channel, this guy is exactly like one of my best buds from highschool. We all joked as stoner kids that we'd go to school for botany, so we could grow the best weed in the world.. This fuckin guy actually did it, and in todays legal world- that dumb joke is paying off in dividends. He truly has a passion for plants, but its just funny the way things worked out. Anways, he's highly educated, and uses all his knowledge for the sole purpose of trolling. Love this shit man, keep it rollin. 🤙

  • @nativechatter999
    @nativechatter999 Před 4 lety +560

    This is the most passive-aggressive description I've ever read, S-tier

    • @moondog50002000
      @moondog50002000 Před 4 lety +32

      more passive aggressive than "have a nice day go fuck yourself" ? haha

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  Před 4 lety +181

      Seemed pretty straight on aggressive to me. Except for those that don't understand satire.

    • @nativechatter999
      @nativechatter999 Před 4 lety +35

      @@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt this is the internet, nobody understands satire

    • @camazotzz
      @camazotzz Před 4 lety +15

      @@nativechatter999 also people often don't know what passive aggressive means.

    • @rcs368
      @rcs368 Před 4 lety +2

      Too bad people don't actually reason themselves into their own views, since they can't reason themselves out when they are wrong. Maybe one of these idiots will see the light, but that would take reasoning.

  • @shaggy0917
    @shaggy0917 Před 4 lety +1608

    Talking about that sage bundle: "fetishizing" is absolutely the word to use. Sacred, traditional tools ignorantly abused with little regard for any reasonings.

    • @crsereda
      @crsereda Před 4 lety +135

      Amen to that. It’s even worse with the endangered palo santo.

    • @KnitBone
      @KnitBone Před 4 lety +117

      @@nilbog972 It can get kind of worth taking issue with imo when the fetishism causes over harvesting of traditional wild medicine plants like has happened with white sage.

    • @StukaSteven
      @StukaSteven Před 4 lety +33

      @@nilbog972 there are poeple who take that shit seriously and these are not those poeple

    • @shaggy0917
      @shaggy0917 Před 4 lety +99

      @@nilbog972 Nilbog Kaila said what I was thinking. The problem isn't that they're doing it, or that they're doing it "wrong", it's that the insane demand outstrips proper gathering and leads to widespread unsustainable and improper farming techniques.
      I will never defend ignorant New Age bullshit. If you want to engage in traditional medicines, at least make an effort to understand them traditionally. I will stand by that position until the bitter end. Even with Western medicine - understand where it came from and what it does. There is no excuse for ignorance in 2020.

    • @agoniaXdunya
      @agoniaXdunya Před 4 lety +4

      *”reasoning”*

  • @esslar1
    @esslar1 Před 7 měsíci +5

    "Hippie snake oil" and what you said about the homeopathy stuff was right on.

  • @leori-7477
    @leori-7477 Před rokem +4

    I’ve never seen this guy before and have 0 idea what his channel is about and didn’t know what to expect from this video but idk if it’s that i’m getting tired at nearly midnight or his voice is just calming since it is an ideal blend of ‘useful information to capture interest’ and ‘inane comments that can be forgotten immediately and are effectively white noise’

  • @realbartsimpson
    @realbartsimpson Před 4 lety +143

    I don't even want to imagine how many fruits & veggies they throw away every day.

    • @filippajak9081
      @filippajak9081 Před 4 lety +16

      That is a scary thought. I think composting should be mandatory.

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 Před 4 lety +10

      Hopefully they go to a pig farm.

    • @000scubasteve
      @000scubasteve Před 4 lety +19

      @@MK_ULTRA420 Hey! How about a food pantry to help feed the homeless!? What a novel idea!

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 Před 4 lety +24

      @@000scubasteve Until a homeless person gets sick eating some produce that's gone bad and the food pantry is forced to shut down because of that, which is literally the reason food pantries already refuse old grocery produce.

    • @listerinestrips1156
      @listerinestrips1156 Před 3 lety +1

      @@MK_ULTRA420 get the seeds from the stuff that has it and replant stuff!!! DUH!!!

  • @theMusiCandMedicinE
    @theMusiCandMedicinE Před 4 lety +208

    I really appreciate all the examples of ass friendly products you have brought to my attention. Thank you

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  Před 4 lety +73

      Herbal remedies

    • @Automedon2
      @Automedon2 Před 3 lety +7

      everything is ass friendly with enough lube. In fact, you could shove that whole produce section up there if you're a shoplifter.

    • @alixtheprofessionalcatherd6850
      @alixtheprofessionalcatherd6850 Před 3 lety +3

      @@Automedon2 I like your thinking.

    • @100GTAGUY
      @100GTAGUY Před 2 lety

      @@Automedon2 try hard enough and you could smuggle Disney world out of that store

  • @305backup
    @305backup Před rokem +71

    This man reached a breaking point to do this and I'd love to have been able to see what really set him off.

    • @tif5723
      @tif5723 Před rokem +3

      I kinda doubt it - it's pretty much his modus operandi.

    • @Ojb_1959
      @Ojb_1959 Před rokem +13

      It’s not that complicated, just look around.

    • @derekgray1633
      @derekgray1633 Před rokem +7

      @@Ojb_1959 hell i dont live anywhere near California and i feel this way when i see a prius or whole foods lol!

    • @HinduBoy
      @HinduBoy Před rokem +2

      Oppression. / sad, difficult life

    • @dayofthejackyl
      @dayofthejackyl Před rokem +4

      @@derekgray1633 that actually says a lot about you on a personal level tbh

  • @Timmysthirdbirthday
    @Timmysthirdbirthday Před 4 měsíci +2

    in my work experience it seems like the amount of waste scales up with the amount of choices people can select from. more variety = more thrown out shit

  • @MattMathias
    @MattMathias Před 4 lety +1267

    "Better this than where they don't believe in evolution"
    "This is where they tackle the homeless"
    *SUBBED*

    • @kyllo8497
      @kyllo8497 Před 3 lety +13

      @Ka Pow big sad

    • @carlbrown8966
      @carlbrown8966 Před 3 lety +10

      I would never tackle a homeless person. They are dirty, might have needles to poke you, and maybe diseases too. Nope

    • @carlbrown8966
      @carlbrown8966 Před 3 lety +8

      @Ka Pow you don't know me. Don't judge my character based on one youtube comment.

    • @lucy-tg3sy
      @lucy-tg3sy Před 3 lety +22

      @@carlbrown8966 so fragile

    • @Jay_Sullivan
      @Jay_Sullivan Před 3 lety +7

      Evolution is a lie.

  • @ddoyle11
    @ddoyle11 Před 4 lety +340

    "You got mice voting for cats." I'm stealing that analogy.

    • @trackerbuckmann1627
      @trackerbuckmann1627 Před 3 lety

      Mice typically fall in love with cats.

    • @TNona-xf7wz
      @TNona-xf7wz Před 3 lety

      “That’s why snake oil sells.” Love it, I too am stealing.

    • @LDuke-pc7kq
      @LDuke-pc7kq Před 3 lety +1

      @@trackerbuckmann1627 yes, from a parasite Toxoplasma gondii that's infected their brain: much like the modern 'woke' virus, it weakens the faculties to the point of the Predator has easy access to devouring the prey and the cycle starts again

    • @randomations11
      @randomations11 Před rokem +3

      Good way to describe Republicans

    • @andreathomas2099
      @andreathomas2099 Před měsícem +1

      ​@@LDuke-pc7kq 1st define woke?....don't use words you don't understand......
      If anyone has toxoplasmosis it's that dirty pus5y at home ya let lick your forehead..... but whatever duke does in his dog house.....is your own pus5y paradise of mind melting kult (gondii/ ) control....

  • @latshiba
    @latshiba Před rokem +2

    I didn’t see the date stamp on this and thought “this is about right for the current times” regarding the social commentary.…it’s like my dude here was predicting the future! Huge fan of your content

  • @kawaiianme
    @kawaiianme Před rokem

    Thanks for the reminder that I gotta go to Berkeley Bowl soon! I love that you’re calling out the dippy hippies! You’re the best!

  • @dfpguitar
    @dfpguitar Před 4 lety +74

    Never in my life have I seen a grocery store or even outdoor market so STACKED with not one but multiple varieties of each fruit and vegetables. And even edible flowers? I have always grown those but cant give them away.
    A massive irony of such a stacked store, is that each and every product has both a large environmental cost and almost always relies on gross human inequality to even exist. Take a product as simple as cashews for example. In the developed first world we think nothing of eating fistfuls of them and whole bowlfuls may be thrown away if leftover at a party or bar. But each cashew comes embedded in a fruit that is irritating and requires great skill to cut open to harvest the cashew. So thousands of women who probably never had the opportunity to go to school endure day after day of monotonous slave like labour extracting cashews for people in a far off land. There is a story like this for almost every product in a grocery store.

  • @careyhickerson5077
    @careyhickerson5077 Před 4 lety +560

    Joey dunking on west coast liberals and southern conservatives in one video amazing xD

    • @Automedon2
      @Automedon2 Před 3 lety +40

      Extremists of any flavor are usually douchebags

    • @-vaniii-
      @-vaniii- Před 3 lety +109

      @@Automedon2 dude, he spoke out for bernie. He's criticising rich do-nothing liberals, not actual lefties

    • @Automedon2
      @Automedon2 Před 3 lety +12

      @@-vaniii- rich do-nothing liberals Have the power to cancel him - the media and celebrity types. The average lefty and righty have no power beyond making comments on Twitter and CZcams. We mean nothing in the struggle for power.

    • @hattorihanzo2275
      @hattorihanzo2275 Před 3 lety +19

      @@-vaniii- Sounds like Bernie with his vacation homes he bought being a career parasite. Wait, I must use the politically correct term for parasite, politician.

    • @-vaniii-
      @-vaniii- Před 3 lety +44

      @@hattorihanzo2275 he made a majority of his fortune by writing. And if you have a problem with corrupt politicians or 'parasites' you should probably support him.

  • @DanielLLevy
    @DanielLLevy Před 9 měsíci

    Our in-progress botanical garden need some Salvia apiana seeds fot this Fall's nursery campaign. I once had two plants from a three-seeds handout, but these were selectively vandalized in a community garden! I never saw them bloom!

  • @metagasm820
    @metagasm820 Před rokem +9

    I always make my tea at home because usually the bottled teas have citric acid or something in them that makes them taste weird and I just prefer the pure taste of tea
    Also it’s definitely cheaper lol
    Also I used to work at a store kind of like this in the health and beauty department and it blew my mind how many different products had coconut oil and/or activated charcoal in it, and most of them you’re just like “why though?” You’d think they’re like miracle elixirs or something but they’re really not lol

  • @Astro_Nave
    @Astro_Nave Před 3 lety +583

    If this video taught me anything, it's that the spiritually enlightened really get down with ass play.

    • @Kowzorz
      @Kowzorz Před 3 lety +42

      It's one of those chicken and egg situations

    • @zingiberae
      @zingiberae Před 3 lety +8

      Ketamine leads to masterbation. Masterbation leads to religion

    • @kawaiisenpai6602
      @kawaiisenpai6602 Před 3 lety +3

      Ass play is funn UwO

    • @howard5992
      @howard5992 Před rokem +2

      that's the fixation of the narrator

  • @yourbarista4154
    @yourbarista4154 Před 3 lety +365

    “This is a great place to get talked-down to...” haha! That was good.

  • @KarmaCadet
    @KarmaCadet Před rokem +1

    I always learn something new when I visit your channel. I never knew how to properly use those sage rolls before. Thanks for the sage advice!

  • @conniead5206
    @conniead5206 Před 8 měsíci +1

    There is a man who goes to cities like Portland to film the fall of their once busy downtowns. He recently went to downtown Berkeley. A Starbucks was still in business and I think one other store. Everything else was up for lease. Since there is no place to rob there I assume the thieves would be hitting stores in areas like this now.

  • @Flumphinator
    @Flumphinator Před 3 lety +510

    This is a richer roast than any comic on the market, sprinkled with actual botany. Best channel.

  • @alanhorton7300
    @alanhorton7300 Před 4 lety +74

    I think the "forbidden rice" may be black rice. I find it at the Vietnamese grocery store near my house, it used to be one of those things that only the Emperor was allowed to eat. It makes the water you boil it in turn purple.

  • @Nikoderp
    @Nikoderp Před rokem +2

    every now and again i come back to this video just to listen to him ramble about anything and everything; i love berkeley bowl and he perfectly describes how i sometimes feel when im in that store

    • @taggerung3396
      @taggerung3396 Před rokem

      wow I also love berkeley bowl. great chowder with bread bowls too

  • @jessicarhind2081
    @jessicarhind2081 Před 7 měsíci +2

    We have socialized medicine in Ontario and the snake oil is still alive and well here because if people don't take care of themselves, meds can only do so much. Many folks (up here) don't take proactive responsibility for their health and are willing to pay for hope in a jar because shortcut miracles are attractively packaged and smack of 'great-grandma wisdom'.

  • @NinaStudios
    @NinaStudios Před 4 lety +129

    “America . . . where you got a bunch of mice that vote for cats” 😭 Beautifully put!!!

    • @melanieortiz712
      @melanieortiz712 Před 3 lety +1

      All to perpetuate and illegal occupation of stolen Native lands. What's even worse is some of the Natives are starting to fall for this shit🤦

    • @TheGooseIsLoose9000
      @TheGooseIsLoose9000 Před 3 lety +4

      @@melanieortiz712 gtfo of here. Go read up on your history. There was a long history between the Native Americans and colonists. Some good some bad. This garbage you radicals peddle about occupation is nonsense. Plenty of natives murdered innocent colonists just as colonist murdered innocent natives. And just because colonists had superior technology and came out on top doesn’t make them the villains of the story. This isn’t an 8th grade playground, it doesn’t matter who was here first. Everyone gets along fine now anyway, save for you bitter losers. You wouldn’t even be here moaning like a banshee on this comment thread without that “illegal occupation”. Lol. Illegal. Don’t even get me started on that. Illegal by what law? The law of your fee fees? You people are dangerous to the minds of the ignorant.

    • @donovandeflifts8062
      @donovandeflifts8062 Před 3 lety +17

      @@TheGooseIsLoose9000 Imagine getting triggered to defend an outright genocide. Someone is insecure.

    • @DreamOnDamu
      @DreamOnDamu Před 3 lety +1

      @@donovandeflifts8062 hippie alert, probably like eating shit pies to toughen up your immune system dont ya

    • @donovandeflifts8062
      @donovandeflifts8062 Před 3 lety +1

      @@DreamOnDamu Bot response. Bot account.

  • @dritanbega6461
    @dritanbega6461 Před 4 lety +174

    I cant stop laughing from your coments. It shows how pissed are you with the human race and turned it into a satire.
    Much love and respect for you.

  • @Tom-ym7tq
    @Tom-ym7tq Před rokem +3

    Omg that store- It's so beautiful, the only place I've seen even remotely like that is our local farm house that sells fresh made apple pie and all kinds of jams.. the fact ya'll have edible flowers is so cool! You actually use the plants like how us foragers do!

    • @yolyprog2561
      @yolyprog2561 Před rokem

      They sell plenty of jam’s and fresh pies, etc. all organic. They taste absolutely amazing!

  • @MarcosElMalo2
    @MarcosElMalo2 Před 3 měsíci

    Is this the co-op? I went there once in the late 80s. I worked on a construction crew in Berkeley with my cousin, who had a PhD (in a subject unrelated to building). The lead carpenter and the contractor also had PhDs, and there were a couple of guys with master’s degrees. I was the least educated guy with a mere (and brand new) bachelor’s degree.

  • @tandykunkle707
    @tandykunkle707 Před 4 lety +466

    Awww, The Berkeley Bowl! The only place I kept shopping at even after they fired me. Lol. The produce section was amazing... the daily sexual harassment from coworkers... not so much.

    • @leorickt.9604
      @leorickt.9604 Před 3 lety +180

      Nobody can sexually harass quite like male feminists

    • @geraldorobles2215
      @geraldorobles2215 Před 3 lety +36

      So you were sexually harassed, then fired, and still shopped there?
      This is why California is considered the most mentally unstable state of all 50....

    • @okatexoffroad1813
      @okatexoffroad1813 Před 3 lety +16

      You liked it

    • @anarchogarfieldist1652
      @anarchogarfieldist1652 Před 3 lety +5

      @@leorickt.9604 oh I believe believe fuck outta that

    • @conservat1vepatr1ot
      @conservat1vepatr1ot Před 3 lety

      You got the perfect number of likes ;)

  • @EJT
    @EJT Před 2 lety +487

    I’m a plant science major in college currently and let me say, you are the only person on youtube i thoroughly enjoy watching when it comes to combining educational content and entertainment. I just found your channel last night while trying to go to bed and i found myself awake until 4 am with 2 computer screens with one watching your videos and the other on wikipedia absolutely dumbfounded how so many plant genera are in the same family. I’m only a sophomore starting this fall, so you gotta keep pumping out content and pushing snakes out the road ✊🏻

    • @forgethought8174
      @forgethought8174 Před rokem +23

      Honestly, welcome to the roller coaster of this channel. It's hard as hell to explain to anyone, but like a good book you can't stop once you start.
      The pontification and monologues, the endless exposition about the beauty of nature. The stream of Latin.
      It's a wild ride. Welcome.

    • @SomethingSeemsOff
      @SomethingSeemsOff Před rokem +5

      EJT - I can relate to this 100%

    • @andreathomas2099
      @andreathomas2099 Před měsícem +1

      Plant science?... where is this school?????asu?😂

    • @karenmossbryan7932
      @karenmossbryan7932 Před měsícem

      Dis guy! He knows botanical names perfectly. Knows life even more

  • @icebiker3
    @icebiker3 Před 3 měsíci

    Tony you would love Iron Mtn. MI. Due to the Italians who came to work in the mines here, there's an Italian deli, and the locally owned stores carry six to eight varieties of Italian sausages, meats, cheeses, and pastas. The local bakery sells cannoli's and Italian bread. There are more then enough😁pizza parlors, and bars sell pizza by the slice. Italian fest is in the summer, and German fest in the fall. It's a cornucopia of ethnic cuisine.😄

  • @halfpintrr
    @halfpintrr Před 2 lety +2

    Hey hey, Itoen Tea is pretty good. It’s like 2 bucks here (in China). If you drink the bottled stuff, it’s fine. (I totally recommend making your own though. Don’t use tea bags, the fannings are terrible, it’s just leftover leaves they sweep off the floor.)

  • @ziryabjamal
    @ziryabjamal Před 4 lety +485

    "You can compare how many trans poc friends you've got"

    • @anarchostatist191
      @anarchostatist191 Před 4 lety +58

      Gotta catch em all.

    • @cellardoor9360
      @cellardoor9360 Před 4 lety +10

      Legend

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  Před 4 lety +261

      Just don't call it by its name - "tokenizing".

    • @jerbil2191
      @jerbil2191 Před 4 lety +40

      @@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt I hate to say it, but this is why I'm glad to be one of the "lucky" members of that demographic who doesn't stick out of a crowd like a sore thumb... I don't make a good enough token...

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  Před 4 lety +145

      @@jerbil2191 I've got a few trans friends but none of them are people of color. Wait, one is Asian. I gained twenty points but then lost ten.

  • @kaylabreadnroses5870
    @kaylabreadnroses5870 Před 4 lety +125

    "Cultural anthropology section" 😂
    I'm hooked from the beginning

    • @froggydoodle808
      @froggydoodle808 Před 4 lety +11

      That, along with "intersectional PhD's" and "trans POC's," plus his extensive knowledge of botanical terminology, makes me suspect that our hero may himself be a fugitive from academia!

  • @GoodnightMoon666
    @GoodnightMoon666 Před rokem +2

    12:30 "isn't that what the rednecks always say? California is full of fruit and nuts?" IM DYINGGGGGGG 💀💀💀

  • @topofhelist6592
    @topofhelist6592 Před rokem

    I remember watching some of your botanist videos years back but this is gold lol love the comedy.

  • @BigpapamoneymanMVPtypebeat
    @BigpapamoneymanMVPtypebeat Před 3 lety +163

    Lmaooo I swear he got the “sniffing farts from a champagne glass” from the southpark episode where they move to San Francisco 😂🤙🏼

  • @bobbybologna3029
    @bobbybologna3029 Před 3 lety +85

    You're just in there, grocery shoppin' and this chicago guy comes in and without even talking to you makes you feel like a complete a-hole for buying a head of lettuce from there lmfao this was great.

  • @michaelnancyamsden7410
    @michaelnancyamsden7410 Před 2 lety +1

    Selling hope. Wonder if you could get something to grow from those exotic mushrooms. Black rice is available cheap in Asian markets here.

  • @thecypresslegends5423
    @thecypresslegends5423 Před 2 lety +3

    I love the bag breaking less than 2 feet out of the door lol. Must be made of ground salvia.

    • @MalkiZee
      @MalkiZee Před rokem

      You must use both handles on the paper bags.

  • @AintItGreat
    @AintItGreat Před 3 lety +327

    love the total loathing of society this man has lol so pure

    • @apokolypx
      @apokolypx Před rokem

      ikrr

    • @Plantlady70
      @Plantlady70 Před rokem +6

      It’s not hatred so much as distain. A deep, broad, distain.

    • @Omnihilo
      @Omnihilo Před rokem +1

      @@Plantlady70 Good.

  • @millylarz
    @millylarz Před 4 lety +138

    I was laughing so hard I had to leave the room so I didn't wake my husband up. Freaking dying man, this was so perfect. You forgot to get your celery juice in a PLASTIC cup, but buy the "reusable" $10 straw because the environment bro 🤣.

    • @reggiestickleback7794
      @reggiestickleback7794 Před 4 lety +13

      You forgot to buy the $10 brush (pipe cleaner) to clean your reusable straw!

    • @Gr3nadgr3gory
      @Gr3nadgr3gory Před 3 lety +12

      @@reggiestickleback7794 all wrapped in ten times as much plastic as a straw.

    • @dogguy8603
      @dogguy8603 Před rokem

      @@Gr3nadgr3gory i will personally kill evey sea turtle in existence if it means i get normal straws again lol

  • @jessipanda
    @jessipanda Před 2 lety +2

    it's WHACK to se the pre-COVID prices in the store. whoa

  • @ShakespeareCafe
    @ShakespeareCafe Před 9 měsíci

    I shopped there a long time ago and the drug store next door hired a parking guard who would throw a boot on your car and charge $75 at the time to remove it if you dared park in their lot and walked over to Berkeley Bowl. I watched this woman start crying when she returned to her booted Volvo

  • @FallLineJP
    @FallLineJP Před 3 lety +151

    “The fun thing to do with them is tease them and see if you can get them to hit you” 🤣💀

    • @TheHexeract
      @TheHexeract Před 11 měsíci

      That's a good way to get shot.

    • @ogloccness6828
      @ogloccness6828 Před 11 měsíci

      @@TheHexeract This is Berkeley, California. I love the city and have spent a bunch of time there. It is ultra-liberal and

  • @eldiablomanatee1
    @eldiablomanatee1 Před 4 lety +102

    Have you thought about becoming a tour guide?
    Best tour of Berkeley ever

    • @DJBillyQ
      @DJBillyQ Před 4 lety +7

      "Now if you look to ya right, you can plainly see the most disgusting memorial to human arrogance that ever existed... Phoenix, Arizona... in fact, it's to tha left too."

  • @tommystrange
    @tommystrange Před rokem +2

    wow this one is over the top......and actually very truthful.....toxic cleansing indeed....that will save us from fracking gases, industrial shit, etc........I had no idea .....that bins in some stores would actually have $25 a pound mushrooms. And I've lived here since 1985. my god.

  • @vanishingfox1339
    @vanishingfox1339 Před rokem +18

    How have I missed this guy? can't stop laughing. But the sad part is he is telling a lot of truth between the jabs.

  • @nmhotel2195
    @nmhotel2195 Před 4 lety +271

    The “hippy snake oil section” is a perfect name for that stuff. I’m not gonna lie, I have chronic pain and have to keep myself from impulsively trying that stuff. You aren’t wrong, its success is a reflection of our crap healthcare. As someone who came from a small rural town I was excited that people knew what intersectionality was, then deeply disappointed by how people still acted. Love your stuff!

    • @madtabby66
      @madtabby66 Před 3 lety +15

      So true. Especially since doctors are afraid of prescribing pain meds because they'll be investigated.
      I'm honestly considering becoming a junkie so the government will buy my pain meds for me.

    • @Gr3nadgr3gory
      @Gr3nadgr3gory Před 3 lety +4

      Even if it's a placebo effect that is still an effect. Let the snake oil salesmen pitch their miracles.

    • @zabnat
      @zabnat Před 3 lety +9

      Snake oil is sold around the world and very successfully, so I don't think the healthcare system is to blame. At least not fully.

    • @dojoloachfr
      @dojoloachfr Před 3 lety +4

      @@madtabby66 no doctors scared to give u pain medication bro

    • @madtabby66
      @madtabby66 Před 3 lety +13

      @@dojoloachfr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 like hell they're not. They're afraid of being investigated for feeding addictions. You can lose your licence over that.

  • @HaloArtisan
    @HaloArtisan Před 4 lety +360

    Nothing says our business is environmentally conscientiousness like dying trees in the parking lot! Lol

    • @redlaserfox3988
      @redlaserfox3988 Před 4 lety +42

      And almost EVERYTHING wrapped in plastics

    • @alfredogarbanzo2276
      @alfredogarbanzo2276 Před 4 lety +1

      @@redlaserfox3988 truee

    • @alfredogarbanzo2276
      @alfredogarbanzo2276 Před 4 lety +12

      It was rad to see that a lot of the mushrooms and produce in general weren't packaged!!

    • @kutekittykatproductions
      @kutekittykatproductions Před 4 lety +5

      BMG_spaceman It’s called early spring, I think.

    • @AMPProf
      @AMPProf Před 3 lety +1

      also that bug ass ac you can see just at peaking out the top at 0:002-0:004

  • @ZeroPlayerGame
    @ZeroPlayerGame Před 6 měsíci +1

    I mean, out of all the stuff, I hear cranberry juice does help against the sort of mild UTIs that women get from sitting on cold. Maybe an overkill to blast your gut with antibiotics on the first day of discomfort.

  • @ButtSnorkler9000
    @ButtSnorkler9000 Před 11 měsíci +2

    That guy in the blue at 4 mins looks like he just od’d on his own farts

  • @cogitoergotsum
    @cogitoergotsum Před 4 lety +180

    Got to admit, I flinched at "trans POC" and wondered if this was going to go all red pill. Relieved to see it's at the expense of the token-touting performative neo-woke types. Sorry I doubted you CPBBD.

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  Před 4 lety +119

      Have a little faith eh 😂

    • @TOASTEngineer
      @TOASTEngineer Před 4 lety +21

      Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.

    • @DewMan001
      @DewMan001 Před 4 lety +10

      Tbh I'm 2:34 in and I'm still in a bit of a fright about it possibly going red pill... I'm probably wrong though. Can you give me like a marker to strive towards for when it gets better so I can stick it out
      Also what sort of neo woke types are we talking about? sort of like the pop feminists of BuzzFeed/Huffington Post/et al?
      EDIT at 3:42: ohhhh, its like the weird slapfights on democratic twitter I've been seeing recently about how one person's candidate is better than the others, isnt it

    • @RagingDong
      @RagingDong Před 4 lety +6

      Sounds pretty based to me.
      If i said half this shit, people would call me a racist bigot

    • @reggiestickleback7794
      @reggiestickleback7794 Před 4 lety +7

      RagingDong
      You implying you don’t say half that shit? F optics I’m going in

  • @demonorse
    @demonorse Před 4 lety +128

    Bunch of mice who vote for cats, did I really hear that? Or hallucinate that?

    • @jamesdriscoll9405
      @jamesdriscoll9405 Před 4 lety +26

      Or is it the toxoplasmosis?

    • @BibleStorm
      @BibleStorm Před 4 lety +15

      The cats have so much money and power they can convince the mice that they will not be destroyed my the cat's purely self-serving policies.

    • @disciplebill
      @disciplebill Před 4 lety +4

      @@jamesdriscoll9405 maybe it's maybelline?

    • @alandgomez5905
      @alandgomez5905 Před 4 lety +2

      @@disciplebill One of my favorite jokes lol.

    • @atomictraveller
      @atomictraveller Před 4 lety +1

      its a lie yall relly vote insect

  • @dejavu666wampas9
    @dejavu666wampas9 Před rokem

    The running commentary is fast and hilarious. I’m impressed with your control of the English language. Awesome. Thanks for an outstanding comedy moment.

  • @JasonBaran
    @JasonBaran Před rokem +1

    So when do you launch the 'Joey's Milkweed Miracle Cure-All'? Grown from sustainable organic milkweed - may as well bring in some monarch conservation on the sly. Safe for human consumption? Who knows!

  • @Tony32
    @Tony32 Před 3 lety +73

    "I don't know what you do with that, I think it's for the hippies" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @deandarvin553
    @deandarvin553 Před 3 lety +1477

    "It's great you guys can compare how many trans poc friends you got"
    Killed me. For some it really is a race.

    • @nodishtoodeep3053
      @nodishtoodeep3053 Před 3 lety +153

      It’s like Pokémon you got to collect them all. “They’re not friends to make, they’re privileges to validate my ego”

    • @Magical_Trash
      @Magical_Trash Před 3 lety +15

      I literally snort laughed and choked on my fried rice 😂😂😭😭😭

    • @deandarvin553
      @deandarvin553 Před 3 lety +37

      @Fungo Slungo And that is objectively racist you shameful piece of shit

    • @deandarvin553
      @deandarvin553 Před 3 lety +67

      @Fungo Slungo Bud please grow up out of your edgelord phase. You're going to look back on this and cringe.

    • @deandarvin553
      @deandarvin553 Před 3 lety +38

      To you? Pass.

  • @AmeliaAcres
    @AmeliaAcres Před rokem +1

    My first time here and my day is made. Andrew Dice Clay, is that you? 🤗

  • @tomtaro777
    @tomtaro777 Před rokem +2

    12:31 "isn't that what the rednecks say? California's full of fruit and nuts? I'm fine with that, better that than people who don't believe in evolution" lmao as one of those Californian fruits, I love this. totally agree!

  • @lunkerjunkie
    @lunkerjunkie Před 4 lety +117

    Diogenes applauds you from the grave.

  • @AlissaCytandorkyboxx
    @AlissaCytandorkyboxx Před 3 lety +63

    [3:39] I've seen a couple knifings in that room before, it's actually -- *Ooh look at the berries!!*

  • @lautaroespinosa445
    @lautaroespinosa445 Před rokem +1

    "People who's been like 20 years in school" it do be like that

  • @saiyamoru
    @saiyamoru Před rokem +3

    sadly these kinds of stores are where you have to go to find 'the good stuff'. I live next to an 'unwoke' grocery store (price-rite) and it's pretty much all people in my area can afford, and I was looking at some of that produce like 'damn where do i get beans like that'
    we sure can't grow them where i live because of the climate/drought conditions.