Give up on happiness. Go hard at wonder | Monica Parker for Big Think+
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- čas přidán 12. 03. 2024
- Pathologically busy people clamoring for happiness. Founder of HATCH Monica Parker explains how we can do so much better than that.
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The pursuit of happiness is unrealistic. Seek this other emotion, instead.
Monica Parker, founder of HATCH and author of “The Power of Wonder,” says our world is utterly obsessed with happiness. We have so many types of initiatives - self-help books, programs, and even careers - centered around achieving happiness that we’ve reached toxic levels of positivity. This is a problem, as it forces us to interpret our experiences through a single - often overrated - emotional lens.
Instead, we should pursue wonder, which is neither wholly positive nor wholly negative. Parker likens the feeling of wonder to watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis - it is beautiful, complex, and even a little scary. This profound mix of awe, curiosity, and fear, is something that, when achieved, can expand our resilience and deepen our interpretation of the world around us.
The key to wonder? Slowing down. Parker explains that tuning into our three types of “wonderbringers” - natural, social, and cognitive - and incorporating “slow thought” activities into our lives, can help us be more receptive to wonder and the benefits it provides. By abandoning the pursuit of happiness and filling our days with things that spark wonder, that aren’t entirely based on positivity, and that fuel our curiosity and our passions, we can overcome our emotional barriers and live truly fulfilling, wonder-full lives.
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About Monica Parker:
Monica C. Parker is the author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller The Power of Wonder and a world-renowned speaker, writer, and authority on the future of work. Parker has spent decades helping people discover how to lead and live wonderfully. She is the founder of global human analytics and change consultancy HATCH whose corporate clients include blue-chip companies such as LinkedIn, Google, Prudential, and LEGO, and whose education clients include the Harvard Flourishing Network, NYU, Emory University, and Highlights for Children.
In her work, weaving together psychology and neuroscience with business strategy and leadership training, Parker challenges organizational systems to advocate for more meaningful work lives. Her specialisms includes topics like resiliency, empathy, ethics, trust, creativity, curiosity, learning, emotional intelligence, psychological safety, and leadership, among others.
In addition to her extensive advocacy work, Parker has been an opera singer, a museum exhibition designer, a policy director, and a homicide investigator defending death row inmates. A lover of the arts, literature, and Mexican food, Parker and her family split their time between Atlanta, London, and Nice. Her wonderbringers include travel, time spent with friends, and live music.
This is basically how I've kept going this long. I've never been really happy except in brief snatches, and I have almost always been lonely and tormented to one degree or another. But I never cease to be in awe of my own existence in this inconceivably beautiful and complicated world.
There came a tipping point when I stopped blaming myself and feeling shtty in relation to how I am in this world and began appreciating how I choose to see and experience the world. I see the nuance and the shades, including the shadows. This is validating for us realists. I see you too. 👋
You expressed this very well. This is my reality too.
@@weakanklesfornamjoon I began to appreciate the nuances you speak of when I took up art as a hobby. Our planet is indeed wondrous.
May God bless you for your inspiring comment.
Same here. Glad to know I'm not the only one out here. All the blessings to you, stranger.
Victor Frankl's Man Search for Meaning dives deep into the importance of meaning in fulfillment (and ultimately joy which trumps happiness). A person can be joyous in the midst of pain, like a mother who's given birth to their child. Positive emotions are not the metric of success, but true meaning and purpose can lead us to long-lasting happiness (joy). Great insights Monica.
Changed the way i viewed things. Great book. Been a long time. might read that one again.
Same here @@Josh-oe4ex , much needed message in today's world. Keep up the good fight!
just finished it today for the 2nd time, a great read, what a cool coincidence, read it bro@@Josh-oe4ex
Aristotle had a similar view on happiness and this concept of eudaimonia. Eudaimonia is meaningful life that is worth living + nurturing one’s virtues.
Thanks! I mention his book in mine. He offers amazing, poignant insights on our earthly existence. :)
Gratitude.
There’s a 1:1 correlation between gratitude and happiness. No one can choose to be happy. But we can choose to be grateful.
Yes! Gratitude is a very effective slow thought practice! It makes us feel small. It’s also a mixed emotion which aids in resilience. :)
@@monicaparker6592 its not effective for happiness. There is no correlation between happiness and gratitude. But there is a 1:1 correlation between expectations and happiness though thats not the only necessary component for it
Wonder > Gratitude
Happiness is a state of mind that anyone can choose. To be happy is to be content, accepting, and grateful. Achievable at any moment if the willpower is there.
Yes, with gratitude your blessings triple.
i searched for wonder, but wonder wasn't what i was searching for. it turns out i was searching for gratitude. and gratitude is what makes life so wonderful.
I'm not buying into the happiness vs. wonder context of this video. I just don't think they are mutually exclusive and we tend to distract our from our paths by giving too much attention to others performances of "happiness". Happiness is something very personal for each of us to unpack, but for me I'd describe it as combo of feeling safe, empowered, inspired, grateful and full of curiosity, possibility and wonder. All feeling are valid and need to be acknowledged for health and balance, but lot of us don't feel we have permission to use our own happiness, and pursuit there of, as the compass to navigate through the decisions we have to make in life.
I feel very lucky to have had a sense of wonder and curiosity for as long as I could remember. All of my siblings and my parents are the types who don't question anything. They accept that things are just the way they are. I couldn't imagine living my life in that way. I always feel there is something new to explore and I get blissful feelings witnessing miracles everyday.
We always get the SAME WAYS: meditation, journaling.... "oh i know how to do these" but you'll either not do it anyways, or be inconsistent, allowing oneself to keep being distracted by all the noise outside. Such a simple problem but not bothering to solve.
The size and scale of the universe and the understanding of the privilege of being self-aware has helped me for many years cope with depression and the anxieties of life... Understanding that we are small insignificant ants in the context of the universe calms me... We are privileged to get this experience on this rock we call Earth and we are privileged to have the means to be self-aware of it and our tiny little spot in this vast universe...
Sure. But that does not mean there is peace.
If by peace you mean to never face problems, challenges, never being upset, ... You won't find it
Life is about solving problems and taking on challenges, you'd better find a way to accept this statement so you can find peace even in hard times 🙂 Because you grow in it, not in running from it
(Sorry, french guy here)
I don‘t know that it is important to even think about being insignificant.
That fact is also insignificant.
How would it even look like, if somebody was significant.
Would the universe to you, be like a company to a manager.
It sounds really awful to be significant to the universe.
It is good as it is.
@@antman7673 huh??? you on that shit, huh?
Happiness is a place you get to visit , but cant stay lol
So true - impermanence.
😂 "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here"
And sadness/depression is "We are programmed to receive, you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave."
Exactly. No one is happy 100% of the time. And when you have to think of a happy moment, it is just it, a moment. The problem is when everything around you says you need to be happy, but pursuing happiness all the time isn't doable. When people fail to feel happy constantly, they feel bad for failing.
Constant happiness is not very satisfying or fulfilling, either.
Happiness comes within you. Seeking it out side makes people trap in a never ending spiral. Be grateful for things you have. Live in the moment. Embrace mediocrity. Accept world is unfair. Don’t get attached to things you like or conflict with things not you don’t like…
its possible to become happy and live happy for years under the worst circumstances
Bullshit
@@N-xn5sb you say that while thumbing up your own comment. Nobody asked you to publicly state your own misery twice over
Thanks for this video. I will certainly be more mindful of all of the wonder around me. I have an extremely rare neurological disease and for some reason people are compelled to tell me that having positivity, faith, or gratitude will somehow lead to me being healed or recovered. What they don’t realize is that I can still have a positive attitude while accepting my disease, I can still have faith without begging my creator for a miracle, and I can still be thankful for all the good in my life while having a gloomy day. I feel that being genuine about my emotions is more positive than faking a smile. This video really resonated with me.
It sounds like you choose to be a whole person rather than a performative one and I respect it. I’m sorry for your tough days but I appreciate you sharing your experience.
The idea of toxic positivity resonates with me deeply. I often find that one of the pernicious side effects of religion (at its best I.e. not causing genocides lol) is that if you’re sad, you should shut that down and have “more faith”. This causes derision in the self, because the emotion is there. A gimmicky solution such as “faith” doesn’t allow our brains to process and heal.
Whew, honey this was truth serum served on the rocks ...I'll take two please ❤🤭🥰🤗🙈🍻
This is why ballads and superstars and romance dramas and movies were that big. We need the layers of emotions to go through for that emotional richness, and also to bond and have long lasting relationships.
Thanks for this.
Ballads, celebrity relationships, romance movies, etc. give us a very skewed view of reality. They lie to us, basically. They don't depict ACTUAL life in reality; they depict fantasy, they convince us that this fantasy exists somewhere and that "everyone else has it but me", and they make us unsatisfied and always looking for more.
I swear, I'm halfway through my life and I have struggled with drugs and alcohol and trying to find myself out here where everyone tells you who you should or could be.
2024 has given me so many answers! The YEAR OF TRUTH! I absolutely love all of this information coming out without any sort of twisting or manipulating words. Yes!
KEEP GOING!!!!!!! ❤
Great video... I've always enjoyed being "interested" in things all around me.. So I'm never bored.
My mantra is "Bored people are boring. Interesting people have interests. "
potato is a potato
@@starc. 😂
That's a nice one, love it! ☺️
my sense of wonder was mostly beaten out of me as a child (won't bore you with the details). psychedelics have returned an ounce of it back to me. my spirit is alive when it was all but left for dead by incompetent parents
I’m sorry to hear that. Psychedelics, and wonder in general, are great tools for converting post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth. I’m glad you have found that helpful.
Won't tell you about how I've sorry to hear that as I am sick of people telling me that myself. Glad that some of mine survived while I see little of it in the kids of more competent parents. So it's a complex world full of complicated humans and this is widely and willfully ignored. Solution. Figure out what works for you and go with it. Sounds like you have found at least a partial solution there, good luck with it. And isn't it fascinating how they can obliviously abuse kids into dysfunctionality and when they grow up they receive nothing but contempt for their actual history?
Wonder, beginner’s mind and awe are such wonderful concepts. It always surprises how awe struck and filled with wondering I am every time I see a full moon, humming bird, squirrel or plants blooming. Nothing big or exciting but I’m still filled with wonder and awe.
I totally agree. Didn't know this author or her book, but I first found out about the subject matter through "Where wonder lives" back in 2021 and it changed my life. I still carry out the practices, they keep me on track
So much comes back to slowing down. Stopping the endless need to distract and stimulate. When gurus say “sit with the pain or discomfort” they are taking about a difficult skill that is rare but pays big dividends.
And how do one sit with the pain or discomfort?
@@StripedBlowse just sit... don´t distract yourself... feel...
I gave up on chasing happiness a while ago. I have been shooting for contentment since I internalized how fleeting happìness is.
100% agree on the slowing down piece and the importance of meditation, journaling and sleep.
I did too and it's very freeing. I will get back to meditating TODAY! Even if it's just one minute, to start.
Yes - I think we’re conditioned (consumer culture needs to sell us things to survive) to think that any moment we aren’t happy is a moment wasted and just realizing this is a bullshit sales pitch relieves a lot of anxiety, bc I’m not doing it wrong and there’s nothing to fix.
Mild sleepdeprivation actually *increases* my ability to experience wonder. It also makes me more likely to write poetry and to feel generally better.
Hello there Alexis! Just wondering and being curious, what would you mean by mild sleep deprivation? And how does that make you more likely to write poetry and feel better? Could you please share more of your insight on the reasons? Thanks for reading :)!
@@Kravensini Sometimes I feel like skipping a night of sleep and at a certain point the human body starts to produce a lot of dopamine to make one able to stay up if they need to or want to.
It might also be the case that it's a correlation and not a causation. If it's a case of hypomania, that could cause me not feeling like sleeping and it could also cause feelings of inspiration and a generally elevated mood.
your body thinks it's dying in austere conditions. it releases chemicals to help you push through. but you're actually sitting in relative comfort (i assume), so you take advantage of that chemical cocktail to complete other tasks
in addition to that, portions of your brain that need rest go to sleep without you. your "rational" brain is out to lunch, and the other parts of your brain finally get to hold the talking stick for a moment - its implications are manifold
@@alexisvulfiaawenfern8112Skipping a night is only mild deprivation?? Damn that’d be pretty severe for me
Wonder comes when you've seen or experienced something extraordinary. I think what we should strive for is contentment. There's something so satisfying about feeling content, and that can come from simple things; a good night's sleep, a hot cup of coffee, a satisfying conversation, a warm blanket, a good book, a hug.
Yes, and equanimity. The ability to self regulate.
Wonder and happiness are two different things. Wonder is a fascination with the world while happiness is a fleeting emotion. While I do wonder sometimes why they almost always coincidentally go together is something not even the best mystery novel could solve.
Very useful perspective, and a practical approach was presented. Thank-you. Reminded me of an article I read about the benefits of older people making time to take “awe walks” where one takes a walk in an environment that presents interest and wonder. The practice reduces pain and anxiety. I walk in a large park and enjoy looking at the beautiful mature trees, the squirrels and birds, and the dogs being taken out for a walk
Happiness is inner peace. Yes, we have emotions of anger, sadness, excitement, bliss, all sorts of things. But they are all temporary. If you train your core to be inner peace, or "happiness," then you can return to it and have it serve as your base.
I spend time every day with my dog doing whatever she wants to do, and I never fail to find wonder each day! 🐶💗
Those "wonder" moments are moments where you are in full prensence, liberated from the ego.
The concrete way to have them is to work on observing and letting go of the ego (tools could be what she calls "slow thoughts" but there are many more).
Big companies think hard and spend trillions to keep us locked chasing "fast dopamine" through consumption.
Very true! It comes with being an INFJ personality type like myself. I observe quite alot and find peace in the moments people call "boring". Simply, humble living.
I find sense in looking for wonder instead of happiness. Happiness comes naturaaly if we experience wonder. Its like money comes whe we love our work. If we just look for money we may not get money, money is a by product of hard work which come from enjoying your work, interest in your work field.
I'm a bit of a realist and this is an Incredible take if it serves my personality or not, i somehow resonated with it immediately. I believe we are made to experience and not just to be happy all the time, it's not part of who we really are to just experience joy every second of the day. Beauty lies in experience even if it's bad at times.
I found that one easy and accessible way to connect with nature is to hear the birds. You can go to work and at the same time hear what birds are singing, how many are there, what species, etc. You can even be on a rush and listening at the same time...😊
Birdsong is a great wonderbringer and reduces stress!
The ultimate wonderbringer is astronomy, even after 67 years of study it still brings wonder, technology helps.
Been saying this one for a long time - happiness is not a state of being, it's not something to achieve or chase, it's an emotion, like any other, it comes and goes. Aim to be content with moments of happiness ❤
This really makes my entire life make sense. Spending 15 years chasing and documenting severe weather across the country, I've always been curious as to WHY I chose this life. And how I can show others to break from a normal life and find their wonder.
This got me to thinking about the phenomena of near-death and profound spiritual experiences. Those who have them often come back and talk about the sense of infinite love they felt, but also of an overwhelming sense of wonder.
I think this is SSSSsssssooooooOOOOOO much more realistic and doable. THANK YOU!!!
Funny thing is I got goosebumps as she kept explaining how to find wonder and what things bring wonder!
happiness is gratefulness. when you appreciate the gift of life and ALL the experiences within it, then you will find happiness
🤢🤮
Micheal A. Singer would strongly agree! Great stuff... I always try to evaluate my current state by how many goosebumps moments i am having! It really is an indicator for me for sure. A premise I live by!!
OMG she's me, I thought I was talking with myself.
What an original idea 💡
Truly ignited my wonder 🤔
Absolutely beautiful!!!! I have realized this myself.. !!! Holy crap, it's amazing that you see it and are helping us remember!!!!
For Christian, their greatest joy is to enjoy God. In God, there is true peace, a peace the world cannot give. Obedience to God, bring much blessing and peace and joy and love. When we love God, we can smile in suffering. It is in God, we can have total fulfillment.
I find a similar thing in different words...finding reverence for something bigger than self, too see glimpse of the bigger picture unfold, too feel one's position in the greater framework is truly a thing to behold. There is violence and yet love in these places. A true wonder for ones mind to have the fortune to chance on and make through practice.
3:55 Thank you, Ms. Parker !!! Indeed, a biggest “barrier” in the current U.S. pop-culture - likewise, most of the world - is Oprah Winfrey … By the same token, Miss Gayle King is a true “wonder” to have been putting up w/ Miss Oprah for more than 40 years !!!
Happiness is the ultimate value. We know how to achieve it, as well. These factors make the bulk of it:
- Expressing gratitude
- Cultivating optimism
- Avoiding overthinking and social comparisons
- Doing acts of kindness
- Nurturing social relationships
- Developing coping mechanisms
- Learning to forgive
- Engaging in flow activities
- Savoring life’s joys
- Committing to goals
- Having a sense of purpose/meaning
- Taking care of your body
That's my mission, to be surrounded by nothing else but wonder.
I’ve used cognitive wonder to fight the feeling of burnout, will go for narrative journaling. Thank you for the suggestion.
I've been blessed to of learned this in my 20's after losing my father. Especially when grieving. Take your macro and turn it micro.
I don’t think we could ever only focus on happiness and avoid the less positive emotions. The world is obsessed with happiness because it seems like such an elusive emotion. I see nothing wrong with defining happiness for ourselves and enjoying it.
Moral happiness is valuing everything, including oneself and others, at their true worth. It requires self-respect, and self-respect requires respect for others as ends in themselves
No one talks about the role of Purpose in life. Having not just a reason, but a purpose for living. The happiness thing as I hear it described sounds too much like bubbles and cotton candy - fun and sweet, but then it's over. Purpose is much deeper. It springs from within.
Quotidian: ordinary or everyday, especially when mundane.
Wonderful video. Cheers
let people be happy or"happy" at the end of the day it isn't quite up to us to determine another person's level of happiness
It's conforting to hear about that because I have never been good at being happy, but I feel like wonder, on the contrary, has been a prime mover all my life.
I love raising moths and growing wild plants, they give me lots of wonder.
Boy, I´ve spotted a whole lot of things which I simply do not agree. In short, I think she is replacing "happiness" with "wonder" which are basically the same thing - whatever is wonder-ful makes me happy. On the phone issue, people have a hard time leaving them alone because they are... guess what? Wonderful!
One of the great wonders we all had in life was the time we were infants "discovering" things every day. When we grow up, that fades and we miss that and it´s virtually impossible to get back to that.
So no, wonder is not the answer but it´s a start. Have to dig in deeper. Much deeper.
happiness and positivity....I agree think less about yourself and focus on the world, its big and it's out there
Here in northern AZ just getting rain creates wonder in me 😊
Had an intense surge of wonder the months following becoming an atheist and discovering science. The world and universe fascinated me so deeply, and I've been chasing that feeling for a while now.
Pursuit of happiness as described by the founding fathers meant having food, shelter, a means of making a living, community with others, and safety from harm.
Too many people pursue things they desire and neglect the things they need.
Curiosity + being present and open + paying attention to the world around you. Joy over happiness every time.
I mean😅in this negative world, sometimes you have to act the positive, otherwise it will swallow you. Having a relatively positive mood towards a negative scenario brings you a clearer mind to solve any problem. Anyways you can't be happy all the time, it comes in moments, so live each one of them💖...love what she says about wonder
It reminds me of George Orwell's quote: “Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.” It makes perfect sense to me.
Interesting talk. I agree that happiness is elusive, and when it comes its never permanent. But wonder, to me, is even more rare. I actually think happiness is a more realistic goal than wonder. If she had said "contentment" or something that would have made more sense to me.
Happiness is harder because it requires positive human connections; wonderment is easier because it requires a connection to the universe which is always positive. I am not good at human connection so I settled for traveling and admiring nature, animals, plants. That's good enough for me. No other planet like ours. 🌈
It’s too much of a pressured thought even to hear some people say as they still say: “be happy.” It’s not now, it’s been years that I’ve understood this that you can’t just force yourself to be happy. If you feel happiness, you feel it and you’re happy in the moment and if not, then you don’t. It’s as simple as that. But truly, outwardly things, attachments, relationships only give us pain but the real happiness is truly experienced within us by waking up at dawn and sitting in meditation and being in love with God. Once you form a solid relationship with God, you’re sure to feel happy within. 🙏🏽
I think it's sad that societies awareness of self and the world around them have collapsed to the point where this is even a topic someone could present as if it's unique and new.
I agree, except I seek peace instead of happiness
Studies say watching sunrises and sunsets frequently in-depth will increase the wonder section of the brain.
A great video after a long time. This video made me understand more about these products better than any other videos I have seen till date. Thanks
Antidepressants were the single biggest barrier to wonder I have experienced. I existed for the 7 years I was on them, not enjoying the simple pleasures of a sunset, or a beautiful piano melody. Apart from the speed at which we are expected to live and the measure by which we continue to compare our lives to others, pharmaceuticals are killing wonder.
But those are really helpful for people who have mental disorders. From my experience it is helping me to live a more fulfilling life❤️
Call it curiosity. I raised my daughter to "find a way to make everything interesting." There's always some little thing that you can say "I wonder why it's like that."
Beautiful. Surprised by the three things to try out honestly. Onwards, to wonder!
Thank you, this hits just at the right time 😊❤
Happiness is fleeting and temporary, as it never lasts forever. The only way to experience the highest level of dopamine is through chemical means. Although engaging in pleasant conversations can be enjoyable, it is not a lasting source of happiness. It is important to acknowledge that every soul will eventually face death. Therefore, before departing from this world, take the time to comprehend the true meaning of life
Very good stuff. i love the thought that millions of people see this video and start to be able to find wonder in a way they hadn't before. Mass communications used in the way it was originally intended! ☺️ ❤
Been living life in this framework for a good while now. Heavily inspired by Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Sahdguru, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Carl Sagan, and others.
I like the 'sleep' part.....I have been doing a lot of sleeping...
We're obsessed with fleeting happiness because we are deprived the time to experience wonder. When all of your time is taken up by work just to survive then the only thing you can squeeze in is little bits of joy. The wealthy have time to experience wonder, time they "earn" off the labor of our backs.
I agree and make this point in the book. That wonder shouldn’t be a privilege and that people who are rushed, stressed and sleep deprived will be less wonderprone. Interestingly and sadly perhaps, many wealthy people still don’t seek wonder. They just seek more stuff. :(
It's so easy to forget how valuable time is and how irreplaceable experiences are. The day to day business of keeping the bills paid distracts from the act of engaging our consciousness within the reality we're a part of. The experience of life, the awesome nature of the thought that through
unbelievable odds we should exist at all, is lost on too many. It's twice as frustrating when those with the time and resources to truly wonder still waste it all on chasing plastic nothings and absolutely infuriating when they spend their time devising new ways to deprive others the true joy of being. We're all bits of star stuff that can think and reflect on what it even means to "be", hopefully we don't waste this incredible chance forever.
I'll have to check out your book, seems like we may share some similar thoughts on the topic.
That's when you minimize your living habits and possibly change careers or interests. If your buying expensive things like a big house or nice car that require you to work more. They are going to have to work more and more just to keep those nice things. People do this to themselves, of course there will be no time for wonder or time to slow down. That's when you have to realize and actually slow down and live life simpler. Be grateful, be self aware, and practice patience.
Limit the negativity input! Avoid the news! Think of life as a video game, if easy, becomes boring! When you advance on your skills, it becomes harder, more challenges, more riddles, more bosses to fight! Enjoy the adventure and ride this roller coaster of emotions we call life!
You can't force wonder into yourself. It's would be like forcing yourself to have an inspiration to do X (writing a book etc.). I'm 41, and i'm mostly feeling exactly the oposite, i feel a kind of disenchanment with everthing that used to cause awe in me. And as you mentioned toxic positivity this wonder forcing is not far from that. I don't say "give up and be miserable", just saying you really don't have choice to make conscious decision because your subconscious is makin them for you.
It is typical to feel a wonder slump as we age, as our brains feel we have less to feel curious about. In the book o explain that wonder is a four stage emotion that begins with openness and curiosity. We can manufacture a feeling of wonder, but we can lay the foundations for the experience by being open to new ideas and being deeply curious. If it’s any consolation, research shows our sense of wonder increases again on our 60s, so hopefully you will find yourself on the upswing again! :)
But you can also programme your subconscious by consciously thinking about something ( ref : the power of your subconscious mind by Joseph murphy)
I'm so sure businesses and governments will not abuse this and just stop tracking happiness and use it to abuse us even more.
I will try, slow thoughts will be helpful
Holy Jesus, those "glasses" are something else!!!
Thanks! :)
Stopping and literally smelling the roses is hardly a new revolutionary mantra, but thanks all the same for a timely reminder
The person or persons who set up the c-stand in the background should get their own video! Always level. ALWAYS
The crew were AMAZING :)
Wonder is another word for curiosity. I have often contemplated suicide because I can’t remember being enduringly happy for the past 10 years but when something (positive) happens that I don’t expect it always make me go wow there is no much that I am wrong about so I guess wonder keeps me going
Not giving up on happiness but will add wonder to my persuit.
Great vid and great comments!!
Hoping to achieve some measure of regular “slow thought” before I die; so easy to get trapped in the rat race trying to survive , & hard to get off of the soul sucking treadmill long enough to appreciate anything but temporary reprieve every now & then. Now that my responsibilities are less, I want to pause and smell the roses.
I always thought ‘The Long Walk’ by Stephen King is a good metaphor. After you’ve been primarily just surviving, & helping others survive, for so long, how do you retrain your brain to find reward in something other than an undefined finish line?
I’ve been gardening. I find some wonder in participating in a seed transforming into my family’s beautiful food. It’s much more wonderful than the grind.
“Help us Obi-Wan Kenobi… you’re our only hope!”
(while Leia had Luke Skywalker’s Jedi potential inside herself the whole time)
I agree with her at some level. But choices come from security. Not necessarily wealth and privilege, tho that certainly helps, wealth creates options. But knowing you are going to be okay in the long run, knowing that people care about you and you love and are loved. A lot of people are unloved, a lot of people are living in poverty, a lot of people are chronically ill, and a lot of people live in fear of real danger. Choosing to think about inspirational things, enjoying the beauty of a field of flowers, or the emotions of listening to your favorite music is a luxury and for some like me, a distraction from reality.
I love how she finishes her speech talking about slowing our life and the video ends up with "ger smarter faster..." 🤣
she makes a valiant effort here. but the fact that she goes out of her way to avoid the spiritual component, only mentioning it as a mere footnote, says that her (and the overall western approach) will never be comprehensive or intuitive - inventing 10 convoluted layers to sterilize and quantify what we all immediately and intuitively understand by the mere mention of spirit. yet, this is exactly why we all feel so unfulfilled and disconnected in the first place, despite peak quantification. this is scientism trying to have its cake and eat it, too
I’d encourage you to read the book. I have a whole chapter on religion. :)
I have some close family members who study similar concepts and they bend over backwards to avoid Christianity. It sometimes annoys me but I also appreciate their approach. So, fold her ideas into your spiritual practices.
Awesome ty❤
I find reading poetry to be an effective way to slow down a racing mind - you just can’t skim a poem
It's really funny to listen when Monica emphasizes on being slowing down and then the Big Think tag line comes up with "Get smarter Faster ". 😢😂😅
Great video, thank you!
Happiness is not a goal to be reached. It is a journey to be taken.
Happiness is not an emotion, it's a feeling. Joy/Enjoyment is the corresponding emotion. Emotions - fleeting, feelings - persistent. And we do know what makes us (humans) happy. It's physical health combined with supportive connections to other humans. Money makes a difference to a threshold. Btw, the condensed state of wonder (emotion) is fulfillment (feeling).
Happiness as constructed near pure material compensation to fill psychic abysses. Do we risk little as much possible smartly and play the best cogs to achieve bleak fulfillment-looking back upon our lives? Yet, there is Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which need satisfaction before self actualization can be approached. Wonder: the appreciation of a thing and its quality and/or novelty? Wonder versus happiness? Happiness as gratitude for being able to get off the hyper-linear materialist path so as to then approach wonder (to me) sounds smarter. Ask yourself what is the wonder found by a homeless person, or an Indian child living off a trash tip. However, I think learning to find beauty and amazement (as that word is contemporaneously considered) I agree is important. Otherwise life is to banal. In this, I agree with the presenter. Her approach of finding something available here is applicable to citizens mostly in the first world.
"too" banal. Can't make an error correction edit.
Happiness is an inside job. Live in balance and embrace the wonder.❤