Am I A Bridezilla? - REACTION
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- čas přidán 3. 09. 2022
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Hey ya'll! Today on my channel we are reacting to some brides who posted in AITA that really want to know if they are Bridezillas!
#aita #bride #bridezilla #entitledbride #wedding #aitapost #redditaita #reaction #charlottedobreio #react #reactionchannel #charlottedobreio #charlottedobre
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
Edited By Kelly Paoli
kellypaoli...
End screen song:
Defunk - (Feat. Charlotte Dobre, Sam Klass)
open.spotify.com/track/3S6FXA... - Zábava
The siblings from the first story were selfish and shame on the parents for missing their youngest daughter's wedding for that. Caring for your siblings doesn't make you old.
The Bride chose a wedding date knowing her parents would be out of the Country. Why not choose a date when they can be present if their attendance is so important to her.
@@alishasimms2846 Postponing a wedding for 2 years isn't that easy, if they prepare than wait a few months anything can happen during that time.
Yeah, that is shitty, my brother and I had not had a good relationship for most of our life but he would not hesitate a second if I asked him. There is pretty much no reason to refuse that request unless you want to hurt the other, your on a hospital or stuff like that
@@SidereusOfTheFallen They planned the vacation before she even got engaged. She also didn't even tell them how she felt. Maybe they thought it wasn't a big deal to her since she didn't mention it. She's expecting everyone around her to be able to read her mind to find out that she's upset about the situation. Personally, I couldn't care less who showed up for my wedding because it was about my husband and me.
It'll make them look old??? They're definitely AH, I've seen kids walk their mom down the aisle.
I would be proud to walk a sibling down the aisle.
Same! My older sister asked just in case my dad could not make the wedding (international travel + covid) I was honored! But my dad ended up coming which was also great!
My little brother did when he was 8. He walked my sister down the aisle 😂 it was so cute.
Anyone of any age can walk you down the isle. I think they were using age as an excuse not to do it. That’s a stupid excuse. I’m wondering if the family doesn’t like her fiancé or maybe they are all just selfish buttheads🤷🏻♀️
@@raimeyewens7518 Or maybe both 🤔
I’ve seen a preschooler walk his aunt down the aisle. That’s such an honor to be asked and it has nothing to do with age.
Not only were those “gray” and “blush” dresses WHITE, they’re ruffled in a way that resembles a wedding dress. Sis knew exactly what she was doing
Yeah, red flags all around. She should cut that bs by the root asap, little sister might not be deterred even after the marriage... (this reminds me of a short story by Guy de Maupassant called ‘a sister’s confession’ btw).
Agreed.
I'm not sure why Charlotte chose to give the sister the benefit of the doubt in this situation. As Bela S noted there are red flags everywhere in that one.
I think the dresses could be fine for a bridesmaid, but because we didn't hear that her sister is one of the bridesmaids, those dresses are to much for a guest...
I've seen those dress use by brides on their wedding, they are pretty much wedding dress.
Yee we everything else this sister does I reckon the bride to be is not overreacting at all
My friend had her four year old son walk her down the aisle. When he handed her over to her husband to be he said “ here’s my mom!!” He was so proud to lead her down the aisle. He told everyone after the ceremony “ we’re all married now! I have have a daddy now”. His bio dad left before he was born cause he had Down’s syndrome and his mom wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy. It doesn’t matter who walks you down the aisle, as long as it’s someone who loves you.
Ugh, that is the cutest thing ive ever heard. I'm sorry about what happened with the bio dad, but he obviously wasnt the right one anyways. I wish i couldve been there to see that adorable exchange.
STOOOOOOPPP THAT’S SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭
That’s too adorable!
I really hope that step daddy was the wonderful daddy the boy deserved! ☺️💍
That's sweet! ❤
Dang you! That was beautiful! 🥹
I mean, whoever can afford a two YEAR vacation could easily afford plane tickets to attend a wedding, just saying.
Her parents and siblings are narcissistic. Lack empathy, only care about themselves
I'm assuming that the parents are retired. But that's not to say that it sounds like not only the parents but her siblings are self involved and mildly narcissistic. I know what I'm talking about because my late husband's family are exactly the same way. They didn't even attend his funeral when he passed.
That’s not necessarily true. The two year vacation had been in the works for a long time aka time to save up
Not really, they're going to be with the sister so she's probably covering the expenses.
@@Lindathellama even if it was. They still can reduce costs by eating cheaper for a couple of months e. g. and buy tickets.
I’m surprised no one mentioned the fact that the parents of the first bride were going on a TWO YEAR vacation. Is there any reason they couldn’t fly home for a week for their daughter’s wedding?
Right, thought that was weird too
@@autumn1734 me too
Uh maybe its expensive to fly from country to country ..
@@oh_emm278 if you can afford to go on a 2 year vacation, I think you can fly home for your daughters wedding.
Two years isn’t a vacation, it’s living abroad. It’s weird that they can’t fly over for a week in order to attend their own kid’s wedding :-/
The sister dress story: Dress aside, the most disturbing thing is her attitude towards op's fiance & child. A good person with no hidden intention does not behave like that.
Yes, its terrifying, please if you see this, don't eat anything yr sister gives you!!
This sister is acting like my stepdaughter. When my husband and I got engaged she went into full “mini-wife” mode and treats her half brother like her child. She was 18 almost 19 at the time. My husband was freaked out by her behavior as was I. It has taken many years and therapy for her to stop acting like a jealous mistress or ex with her father.
@@Blondie77128??? 😟 that is *extremely* disturbing.
She’s after her sisters man
It sounds like the bride needed a bridesmaid with a glass of red wine at all times, ready to "trip" and spill it on baby sis when necessary (like as soon as she showed up if the dress was too white/inappropriate).
For those saying she should have told her parents she wanted them at her wedding, frankly, OP shouldn’t have to tell her parents that it hurts that they won’t be at her wedding. I think it’s common sense that them not being at their daughters wedding would be hurtful.
Also it’s not like their holiday is only a week and she’s making them miss a day of it. It’s 2 years. They can travel back for a couple of days to see their child get married. Would you want to postpone your wedding for people who clearly don’t care enough about you?
Exactly, people are just siding with the parents when it’s obvious they really don’t care and probably wouldn’t change their minds. Not every parent is good, people seem to forget that.
Also why doesn’t the dad do anything if he said that he really wanted to be there.
@@iamalimelight2346 That dad just didn't want to take any blame so he coped out with the "oh i'm just following along." excuse. He's a coward that doesn't wanna take any accountability for his actions.
@@StudlyFudd13 Exactly, I’m pretty sure that if he really, really wanted to be there, he would have fought the wife on this but he didn’t.
She wouldn’t have had to postpone if she had just chose a different date to begin with? Literally reeks entitlement, her sisters been abroad for most of her up bringing which one would assume her parents didn’t get to see much of her either. They clearly had this trip planned before she even got engaged? Seems like little miss just wants everything to be about her 💀
1st story, i understand her not feeling like she can't stand up for herself. I feel that way because when i was younger i was either ignored, told i was being stupid, or i was screamed at to the point i was in tears. Now i feel terrified to speak up for myself most of the time.
My wife's mother (literally named Karen) causes this reaction in her...and much of her other family, too, tbh.
I guess she's the youngest in a family where kids are pretty far apart in age. Can tell you from personal experience (5 brothers and sisters, oldest sister had her first child the same year my mother had my youngest brother) you either get ignored or treated like you're stupid. I completely understand why she has given up trying to make them understand her viewpoint. Put all that wedding money into a house down payment, get married in Vegas and then just focus on your own life. Because they will always see you as something to be mostly forgotten.
Same. Still in that situation.
Yeah, but it's not going to get any better if she doesn't. She can perfectly well put her feelings into written words. I think she give her parents and sister a letter each, in which she explains everything.
☹️
Charlotte theres a wedding story i just read yesterday, not sure u have covered it or not. A MIL who was co dependent on her son & didnt like the sons bride to be. Insisted on wearing white to the wedding cause it was her special day too so the bride switched things up, wore a pink wedding gown and the maids wore white gowns & the MIL was furious cause no one told her & it ruined her moment 😂
Oh the turn tables 😆
THAT'S how you handle white wear MoB/MoG
Omg that's epic
I read that too and was rofl, good for that woman!!
Brilliant!
I love that it's easy for everyone to tell her speak up but also does this story not reek of the fact that she was probably never greatly considered or prioritized...that doesn't magically change with age or circumstances. It's not hard to understand that that's part of the problem.
Yes! I mean, why does she not feel she can speak up for herself about her WEDDING? Probably cuz they taught her she can’t speak up for herself regarding anything else.
Also, it’s much easier to pretend the people you love are good people when you avoid confrontation. She probably knows that if she says something, she might find out the ugly truth of just how selfish and conditional their love really is.
Didn’t she say she has a lot of siblings? I come from a huge family with multiple siblings. No one get priority. Maybe someone gets some attention if they did something great but it’ll never last more then 2 days. I’m not excusing the parents, fuck them.
@@ingridaguero6460 and you'd think the wedding would be the thing to put it over the top, for the moment. But at the time of the story, the older sister was the one doing the exceptional thing- she was giving her parents a 2 year vacation.
One of my best friends got married last month, and her parents decided not to be at the wedding (for s****y petty reasons and I will never stop being angry about it). So the day of the ceremony, she walked herself halfway down the aisle, and her husband met her halfway and walked the rest of the way to the front with her.
WHEN I TELL YOU I F***ING SOBBED lol. It was so beautiful to see, it was like my friend had walked alone for such a long time, and her husband was coming in to pick her up and take care of her for the rest of her life. F*** it was beautiful.
I've apparently been stewing about this for nearly 30 years:
My wedding, while not awful, was actually my *mother's* wedding. She chose the venue, menu, bridesmaid dresses, colors, table centerpieces, flowers, etc.
My husband and I were allowed to choose the cake, because Mom was a die-hard Weight Watcher and didn't want to do the tasting.
Mom also insisted on a Episcopalian Mass ("Or you might as well not get married!"), even though my husband's family is Catholic and half my mother's family are Jewish.
My request for a hairdresser, among other smallish things that weren't budget-breakers (like wanting a vegetarian entree for several of my friends and SIL) were vetoed with the usual, and frequent, "No, honey, you don't want that."
I finally mentioned that found this strange, as I could have sworn I'd just heard me say I did want that. And she told me that because HER mother had decided everything at HER wedding, she deserved to do the same for mine.
After I suggested that she should understand how I felt about having my wedding be, you know, mine, she said, "But then *I* won't ever have a wedding!"
😐
I mean, my sister's been married four times, but okay...
Wow! How do you speak to her?
@@dlo111 Back then, not so much. My husband and I soon moved a state away (his job), and then two states away (my job). We only saw them once a year (natural low contact), which helped me become a lot more independent and less likely to fold to avoid conflict. Just ask my husband! 😄
Decades of therapy (for both of us, to give her due credit) have balanced our relationship; we're equals now.
And to be honest, once HER mother passed away, my mother blossomed into a far reasonable person. I loved my grandmother, but Holy Smokes, that woman was a puppetmaster.
smh that's messed up... If I wanted input on my wedding day, I'd ask it
Wtf that's awful for her to do to you. The last bit about your sister was hilarious though.
Oh, the number of times I had to hear “No, honey, you don’t want that” when I was planning my wedding…
You have my sympathies
I read the first story back when it was still up, OP's parent's "trip" was between 2 and 3 years in length, just to add some context. Due to the length, it simply is not feasible to put the wedding on hold, and given the length of the trip, the parents could potentially fly home to attend the wedding and go back after. This is why they needed full visas and not just passports, they are going to be living in another country for a long period of time.
that's what I was wondering, why can't they just fly back home for a couple of days
At the same time, the daughter should say something. If she seems fine with it, maybe they think it's not that important to her.
THE PARENTS SCHEDULED THE TRIP AFTER THE WEDDING HAD BEEN SCHEDULED.
They could have pushed the trip back the month or two.... and attended the wedding.
@@fhuber7507 The post literally said they had these plans before her husband even proposed though?
@Twilight Kitsune There are plenty of folks that get engaged and then don't officially marry for years. I do think the bride should discuss planning for them to fly back for the event after they had settled in a bit though. People go a little too crazy with weddings though in my opinion...its not that important to jump to a big party the SECOND he puts a ring on it.
Was there an update?
As an autistic person, there are few phrases I hate as much as "you should just KNOW". I also find it hard to speak up for myself in the moment, when my emotions are really strong. So I can understand Charlotte's frustration and OP's self-disappointment. But I get the feeling there's some family dynamics underlying why OP feels like they can't express themselves directly, has normalized not complaining or pushing back against things that bother them, and went off to cry alone after their sibling refused to walk them down the aisle. OP's mom "dropping hints" instead of directly telling her they plan to be abroad during that time, OP's dad saying the mom and sister were in charge of plans and he just going along with it, etc. Where is the fiancé in all this? I hope OP can talk with them and find support with their friends.
I mean I'm autistic too (and agree for the most part) something as simple as "my kid might want me at their wedding" especially since she had also invited them is a pretty obvious one even to me. It often times is hard to know what you don't know that you don't know but with an invite and also the fact that they are her parents should have been a give away
this is pretty obvious. it's like slapping someone and wondering if they're hurt.
Yeah i agree with the dynamic of the keeping her emotions and opinions to herself. I have a very similar issue, but i'm emotionally stunted ((only way i know how to put it because there hasnt been a diagnosis for it other than odd, which i've been told is just bs so-)). It makes you wonder what makes her not want to tell her family how she feels. I mean, i can guess and say its probably because of her being the youngest of s i x , and all the families i know that are that large the parents are kind of just uninvolved by that point, leaving it to the oldest of whoever is still living in the house to basically raise them. But yeah, thats my take.
As someone who's been with my boyfriend for 16 years, unmarried, that last one pisses me off. Not everyone needs a piece of paper or a wedding to be committed to each other.
Exactly! People are so stupid, just continuing to be in a healthy and loving relationship is enough to show commitment.
I'm sure I've heard that same story posted from the friend's point of view. It honestly screamed to me of someone rushing far too quickly into marriage and trying to sooth her insecurities by belittling her friends clearly more long term and stable relationship.
Completely agree. There is this obsession with some people that marriage = a deeper level of commitment (debated my mom on it a few days ago even). To me, there is definitely an extra layer of paperwork and nonsense to deal with should the relationship end, but being legally married doesn't suddenly make a couple "extra committed" by default. If some people want that dedication through ceremony, then great, awesome, let them do that. I just get annoyed when those same people then view other relationships as "less than."
This is a super good point! It’s also considered a common law marriage in some places if you have lived together for a certain amount of time.
Yeah you do. This is a cope.
as someone who comes from a very invalidating and abusive household, i'm willing to bet there is a lot more history in the family of the one bride whose family was going on vacation instead of going to her wedding than she let the world know. i wouldn't be able to stand up to my family either for fear of ridicule and potentially even verbal/mental abuse and manipulation as that's something they've done to me for voicing my opinion and sticking up for myself my entire life.
I’m so sorry and I went through something similar with my dad and sister, I’ve suffered from emotional abuse because of them since I was little so I do understand how you feel. I think her situation could be like that tbh but who knows? 😔
The last bride is INSUFFERABLE.
Is she gatekeeping love? Yikes.
Right?1
I usually don’t wish people bad but it’s exciting to imagine them divorcing someday. Except, I highly doubt she will self reflect about her past behaviors. She won’t learn from her mistakes.
She’s probably one of those Maude Flanders-type persons, or wants to be. What better way to demonstrate “moral superiority” at a wedding than only recognizing married couples as couples.
Seriously, what makes her think a piece of paper justifies a happy relationship? I get it that her friend's ideas doesn't go with her image of what a "married" relationship should be, but it doesn't mean that her friend is not in a loving happy relationship either without making it legal. My bet is the bride is going to be divorced 6 months to a year, while the friend and her partner stay together forever.
Also she talking about 'committed couples' when she's apparently known her fiance for less than 2 years? She says fiance and friend 'lost touch' because he changed jobs... less than a year ago. Like, what?
So, a couple of things. 1. I love your bridezilla videos. They are marvelous. 2. I got married in 1987 to my high school love, after dating for 5 years. Our entire wedding, including my dress, cost less than $2000. We had the very best time, and best of all I was misidentified as a princess when I got out of the car by a precious little girl! We are still married, and still happy. Didn't require a dress code, only had a cake reception, and everyone went dancing after. Best. Time. Ever!
I can relate so much to the first girl. ‘Speak up’ seems like such an easy solution. But when you’ve been raised and conditioned to essentially keep your mouth shut and cater to everyone’s needs other than your own (which she absolutely did) for your whole life, speaking up can feel debilitating and impossible. You don’t know how to bc you’ve never had any practice at it. Or been given a chance. Having to start finding your voice as an adult is the most daunting thing. But it’s bc what was supposed to your safe space (your family/home) engrained in us how invisible and invaluable we are, that we start to believe it ourselves, and accept the treatment that comes from it thereafter. I hope she finds peace and joy in her spouse and new family she builds for herself.
Weddings aren’t for the bride and groom but to publicize their intentions to their friends and family, the witnesses to the may covenant…
How is walking someone down the aisle is looking "old" ? What does it have to do with anything ?
Exactly! I walked my good friend (who I may or may not have stolen from my older sibling, but shhh) down the aisle when I was 20 because her dad was really sick, and I had the time of my life doing it. I didn't feel old, I felt proud and grateful to our friendship.
Seriously! The siblings are the biggest a-holes in the whole story!
I got married at the courthouse, and my brother and SIL stood with us, no one else was there. We all went to a friend's yard sale afterwards. Our friends were wondering why we were slightly dressed up... "No biggy, just got married 20 minutes ago!"
I really should have thought long and hard about that terrible life decision. Biggest mistake of my life.
@@LazyIRanch At least you didn't spend several thousands on "the special day" so there's that.
@@LazyIRanch What was the mistake the marriage or the way you got married? Regardless that sounds AWESOME to me but I'm also a person that has zero intentions to get married (for a whole host of personal reasons) & my GFs are on the same page. If we were to change our minds it would be an extremely small affair with immediate family only.
If I was in the first girl's situation, I honestly think I'd just be petty af and uninvite them all and have my father-in-law walk me down the aisle. If y'all don't want to be my family, fine, I'll pick a new one.
I was thinking the same thing
Great answer!
The first person I feel like couldn't express her feelings because her family of a-holes have probably disregarded her feelings her entire life and now this is just what all of it adds up to. Poor thing, she deserves so much better.
The first story is very common for families with a brood of children. There’s always 1 or 2 siblings that are ignored for the most part and put on a side burner for either the older or youngest siblings. For the siblings that are ignored it can be really hard for them to speak up or express themselves from trauma when they were children.
It really does upset me though that her older siblings were selfish about walking her down the isle, and that her parents literally decided it was better to miss their child’s wedding than going on a vacation. That’s a decision they all will regret for the rest of their lives, because she will become more distant will all of her family.
As someone who handed over her wedding to her parents because she wasn't willing to speak up, you have to speak up or the only thing you'll get to chose about your wedding is your husband and it will be a bad memory for ever.
When my husband had proposed to me we were only 16, so obviously a marriage wasn’t happening any time soon. After both of us were 18, we’d announced to our family we were getting married the following year. I am a simple person and we were both 18 with a toddler; let’s just say the budget was very minimal😂😂 My MIL almost immediately tried to plan our wedding for us. I was deciding on what colors looked good with the dark purple I wanted for accent colors, and my MIL tried pushing the dark purple I liked and BURNT ORANGE because that was *her* favorite color and it would “symbolize the unity of our families”🤢🤢 She tried influencing the style of dress I wore, the decorations, what my husband wore, what kind of flowers would be in my bouquet (sunflowers, HER favorite flower), where it would be at, who my bridesmaids would be. I was too timid to say anything, but absolutely did NOT want anything she was trying to make us have at our wedding. So, after months of trying to plan our own wedding with a minuscule amount of money, I wore a white, mid thigh sundress from Stage, he wore his Tombstone suit, and we got eloped in my childhood best friend’s grandparent’s yard and my best friend is the one who officiated the wedding. No planning except for my best friend getting ordained and asking her grandparent’s if they were ok with it, no stress, no bouquet or colors, no meal planning, no decorations, and honestly, it was exactly what I wanted. I wish our families could have been around to watch us get married, but his family is full of loud, controlling, angry people, and my family is filled with dramatic, passive aggressive, always-the-victim people - I don’t think it would have gone down well. My mom, to this day, 7 years later, has refused to tell me and my husband Happy Anniversary because, “[she] never saw a wedding happen, so how [does she] know for sure one happened?”🙄🙄
@@dwaalatticsalt7886And, in the end, you had a wedding appropriate to the situation. Forgive your MIL. She thought you deserved better.
@@carlajenkins1990, I’m not sure what you mean by that. I don’t hold a grudge towards my MIL or anything, but I do think I would have been able to have a more planned out wedding had she not tried to take over. We didn’t have the money for everything she was trying to add or change, and in the end made me give up trying to make it a family event. I hope for our 10 year anniversary we can have a sort of “vow renewal” type thing with family members there and it won’t be as high stakes since we’re already married, but I do wish I’d had the ability at the time to tell her it wasn’t her wedding and that if I needed help with decision making I’d let her know. Her daughter, my husband’s younger sister, also got eloped because as soon as my MIL found out she was engaged she tried taking over *that* wedding, too. My MIL is just a controlling person who likes to have things her way, no matter the occasion. I just know now that if I’m planning something that she’ll attend, I have to plan it all before I tell her about it so she can’t try to change anything to her liking🤷♀️
@@dwaalatticsalt7886 - Good for you for having the small peaceful wedding you wanted! Every year when your mother refuses acknowledge your anniversary, it must just make you feel stronger that you did the right thing for you and your spouse! And, whenever it happens to be, Happy Anniversary! 🥳
PS - I do understand it wasn’t what you initially wanted, but what you wanted to do in order to avoid the problems and the drama. I think you definitely should have a big blowout for your 10th anniversary as you said in your response to another poster.
As someone who walked my sister down the aisle due to no family member antending. How the fuck do u feel old?? I just feelt pride and happiness. I loved doing it and would do it again in a heart beat
Regarding the first story, walking your sibling down the aisle does not make you look old. I'm the second of four kids. Our dad died in a car accident when I was nine. So, my brother (second youngest) walked both of my sisters down the aisle at their respective weddings. It was very sweet and meant the world to them.
I agree. Also people will be thinking how nice it is that the sibling is walking them down rather than they are old.
I really like the idea of your brother walking your sister’s down the aisle.
As the mother of 6,, I can't imagine missing one of my children's wedding for any reason,, I can't imagine not having a close family.. I'm so thankful... my heart aches for these children who don't get the same love and affection as their siblings 💔💔
My parents weren’t at my wedding, not in body anyway. Where they are they can’t jump on a plane to visit for weekend, no matter how much I wish they could. No they’re not in prison. Never let those you love think you don’t or that you love them any less than you do, one day you won’t both be there.
Her father needs to grow a pair, walking your daughter down the aisle is the proudest day of a father's life.
Is it? Or maybe we are putting too much weight on a freaking single day that isn't that important to begin with? The marriage is the rest of their life not 10 hours. I don't know a single dad who would say that was the best day of their fatherly life, including mine. And he loves me a lot
@@bettersecret1499 ok just because you don't think your wedding os important or that your dad wouldn't think giving you away on your wedding day isnt that important to him doesn't mean it's not important to others. To most people their wedding is one of the most important days of their life one they spend many hours, months even years planning and they spend thousands on it !! As for most dads they do think it's important to them I've known several dads who have been so very proud to walk their daughter down the ilse and were very emotional when doing it, and 2 even said it was one of the most important days of their lives. So yes to some people theses things are very very important to them so just because you and your family don't care not everyone feels that way 😃 personally i won't ever get married I think it's a waste of money just for one day, yes I'm engaged just because we have been together for over 24 years and one day around 18 years ago i saw a ring i liked in the shop window, he actually asked what i was looking at while i was waiting for him, I told him nothing really just waiting for you so i thought id look at what they have in the sale, he asked if I saw anything i liked i pointed to a cheap ring and i mean cheap it was less than £200 and i said oh thats pretty he said good choice ill buy it for you as a treat i told him erm its a engagement ring he replied well guess were getting engaged then lol we didn't make a fuss we didn't make any announcements or have a party or anything i just put on the ring after i picked it up a few days later, when we went in the shop much to the horror of the shop lady after she asked about how he proposed expecting romance and everything she wasn't happy to hear what just happened outside her shop lol, so she had told him he had 3 days to prepare the perfect proposal so she was far from happy when I went in to collect it saying i should no be picking up my own engagement ring i just told her i didnt really care and we were not even going to get married but we decided maybe we should be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend since we had two kids and been together 6 years it was just something to show we were committed to each other without been married. People often expect us to be married and are shocked when I tell them marriage doesn't interest us at all and I think it's a waste of money just for one day and that I'm happy with my eternity and engagement rings, besides we have made the biggest commitment by having kids apnd been together for 24 years !! Why bother changing things for the sake of a bit of paper but thats just us were happy just the way things are 😃 however my mum is always insisting we should get married we have been having a disagreement about this for over 20 years and hates that I refuse to get married lol
@@annied1827 Have you ever been inconvenienced because you two aren't married? It could varies from country to country but from what I heard, unmarried couples are not family on paper, so they are not allowed in family-only situations like medical emergencies. (Partially) hence why so many same-sex couples ultimately want to get married despite the all the hassles and hardships they have to overcome for it. I'm just curious if anything like that happened during your 24 years, or if it's a problem at all in your case
I read your reply to another comment btw, you are a very sweet mother, imagine all the love and support you guys have in the family. Should I be glad or envious lol
@@matchaaalie what was the other reply you read ?? And thank you, I hope your happy and well 😊 the only time I had a problem was trying to open my kids baby bank accounts as I changed my name at 18 and other than that document aykng i chamged my name I don't exist !! so when I tried to open the kids bank accounts I couldn't as they have their dads sir name and by some strange and crazy reason that makes zero sense to anyone I'm not classed as my kids mother even though I did carry them to 31 and 26 weeks ok I didn't carry them very well but I did carry them lol so my partner had to open their accounts and because of that I can't by law put money into their accounts or take money out nit that id want to take money out, I fround that crazy rule out a few months ago after I found out my daughter had over £800 in cash in the house from working, I was horrorfied to find she had that much money which is more than I have lol and the fact she had it in cash just in the house made me very uncomfortable and my ocd side didnt like it at all so I took iit to the bank the nice lady helped me count it all out as much of it was in charge and when we finally got to the point to pay it into her account the poor cashier looked totally defeated and said technically you can't pay this in but since I know you and we have just spent 30 minutes counting it all out I'm going to break the rules and pay it in but I can't update the book saying how much money is in the account, i also had a problem opening my own bank account i was only allowed one because my partner and kids had accounts at the same bank, i knew a memeber of staff working there and my partner had to gouch for me and tell them i exist lol it was crazy I'd tried 4 different banks before they actually accepted me !!. As for situations such as medical permissions etc I've had no issues, when I was pregnant I spent most of the pregnancies in hospital as I can't carry and was threatening to misscarry from 6 weeks and ended with 2 prem babies one at 31 weeks 3lb10oz and one at 26 weeks 1lb12oz throughout all of that my partner was my next of kin and he was able to help with decision making for both myself and the kids and he was also allowed to plan with my dentist who I have a huge fear of after a bad experience, it took over 6 months to get me through the door the dent8st walked me everyday towards the dentist and and eventually into the chair the dentist knowing id have to be knocked out 3 times put in the drip and took it out and let me go home helping to build trust but on the 4th time he knocked me out and I woke up hours later at my partners parents house, the dentist had planned with him everything telling him when he was going to remove the tooth and kept it a secret from me knowing id have run away if I'd known lol. It's on all my medical records that he is my next of kin and even when I had surgery they called him to ask permission to do something can't remember what it was but he had no problems doing so same went for any treatment the kids needed he was able to give permission rega both myself and the kids. So in the past 24 years we really havnt had any issues, although my mum keeps telling me if he died tommorrw i won't have any claim to his house so I passed her off by telling her I wouldn't have any grain anyway since I signed paperwork saying I have jo claim as its his house he's paid for it and I've not paid anything towards it and he owned the flat which he sold to buy the house, so when we got together I signed paperwork saying I'd we split up I would not take the flat and then when he bought the house even though we had both kids by then I again insisted on signing the paperwork saying I have no claim on the house because at the end of the day its his house he paid for it not me and Irefused to be put on the mortgage as I wouldn't be paying towards it. My mum was furious that I'd done that saying I have a right to it etc but I soon shot her down on that one telling her it's his house I just live in it and if we split up I won't be claiming any part of it as its his money that paid for it and if he died the house goes straight to the kids and as the oldest if my son wants to he can kick me out the house will belongvto both the kids 50/50 split so when he dies they get the house and they decide if they keep it or sell it it had nothing to do with me and because ic that my mum is furious she was even more angry when she found out this was my choice not his and it was my decision and i insisted i signed the paperwork , on the up side when we first got together and moved in to his home his mum asked me what I'd do if we split up i told her not to worry id signed paperwork the week i moved in saying i had no claim on his home she looked shocked and i pretty much got a gold star from his mum for dojng that as she expected if we split id claim iwas entitled to his home when it had nothing to do with me 🤣🤣
@@annied1827 the other reply I saw was about taking your daughter to prom during vacation. That was very sweet and supportive
I can’t even IMAGINE missing one of my kids’ weddings. No way in Hell that would happen. If the parents are going abroad for a year, can’t they put off leaving for a little bit? Is this what happens when you’re the youngest in a large family? You get blown off cause your family has already had multiple weddings and they’re bored? 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ wtf!
I agree!
Pretty much. Kids get ignored, usually the youngest and middle ones
@@kissit012 I’ve noticed this with a lot of my friends. I drew the lucky straw being the youngest as my older sisters are pretty awful so I didn’t get that treatment 😂😂
Why can’t they just fly back for the wedding 😩. Horrible parents
@@kissit012 yeah I'm the youngest in a family of 6 kids and while I know my parents care about me, it's obvious they like my older sister much more, i mean stuff like my mental health, doctors appointments, etc, all get ignored so that my sister can get all that stuff, I mean she has weekly therapy appointments, I don't have any (even tho I have brought it up to my mother) She just went to the dentist yesterday, while I haven't been in a year and I know I have a cavity, plus I recently fell off a 4 wheeler and I have been in a lot of pain but when I talked to my mom she went "go put ice on it" then refused to talk any further on the topic
I'm the youngest between me and my siblings, but if (when the time came, years down the line) that my brother in law couldn't be there and my niece asked me to walk her down the aisle, I'd cry tears of joy because that's a huge fucking honor
I walked my best friend down the aisle,and i definitely didn’t feel old. I was honoured and happy that she chose me.
Dress story - Okay, that first dress, it could possibly pass as a cocktail dress, but that second one? That's as close to a wedding dress as you can get without it being an actual wedding dress. I could easily see someone doing a summer wedding in that. Combine that with the other behaviour, that's making me think the sister is jealous of OP and it's pretty concerning, so no, OP is not a bridezilla.
Edit: I was curious and went to the OP's profile to see if there had been an update. Only a small one - she's told the sister that the dresses won't work and sent her some ideas for others, to which the sister only replied with "okay". So....yeah. Also, seems what's in the initial post is only the tip of the iceberg in regards to the sister's behaviour, and OP can't even cut her out of the wedding because her parents have paid for a chunk of it and would cancel it all if they cut out their "favourite child".
I'm kinda predicting OP making another post in the future, namely that the sister did something at the wedding...
Both looked way too much like wedding dresses to be wearing to anybody's wedding! Also, both are over the top for an event where cocktail attaire is appropriate. Sister clearly is a 'wannabe bride' AND wants to draw attention to herself on the day.
@@ceeshnia I actually think calling the child "my baby" once in a while is ok, though borderline so, as long as she doesn't behave too motherly. Though "my baby little niece/nephew" would be more suitable. But fishing for compliment from her brother in law to be and walking around in only oversized shirt? That's when the "my baby" thing becomes extra sus. Even if the compilation make it more sus than it actually is, I can still bet something's fishy about her
Now I'm curious, where can I see it? I wanna read more of the sister's crazy behavior.
I agree on the hi/lo silver/grey one being a "maybe she's not comfortible in a short dress/ maybe it's darker in person" understandible "oopsie"
But that floor length white one? Yeah no someone is trying for the asshole title
Keep us updated
I did the whole wedding thing - dress, party, all of it… there was drama, of course. That marriage didn’t last. So, when I decided to marry again, we went to the town hall without telling anyone! Ha! Been married 18 years now! 🥰
Me too! Invitations, dress, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, big church, reception with caterers.....all orchestrated by my mother. Didn't last.
When I found my soulmate, we got married in a tiny chapel outside of town with just a handful of people & no fancy stuff. 30 years and still going strong.
I don't need a fancy wedding. The only 2 things I insist on being top-tier are the food because I want to have delicious food that everyone can love, and my dresses. I plan to wear an elegant gown for the ceremony and a short, knee-length white sparkly cocktail dress for my reception. That way I can look like a princess when I say "I do" but then really feel like my natural self at my reception and just let loose. A cocktail dress is much easier to dance in. But the venue, the decorations, even the music, I don't need any of that to be fancy. We can find a small party space, we can buy the decorations at the freaking dollar store, we can play the wedding songs like the bridal march and whatnot over a speaker cause we don't have to have live musicians, and I can make the invitations and the wedding favors myself (I'm thinking a beautiful decorated box of cookies. A wedding favor that people can eat is something anybody would like). There are so many ways to save money and drama and have it still feel like a fairytale wedding. And we both want as little people as possible. Neither of us has any friends and we both have family members we would rather not be there. So we will definitely need some kind of security.
yeah thats true. but i also understand someone wanting to do the whole wedding thing... its easier to let it go if you have done it once before. granted, a wedding doesn't make a happy marriage.
@@freya33 I feel like an expensive wedding sets the couple up for unrealistic expectations for the actual marriage. Love is not all hearts and flowers. It’s a commitment to another person, to take the good with the bad, and to choose every day to love and support your spouse.
The more I watch these videos, it just confirms that my decision to have a very small, simple, and inexpensive ceremony, was absolutely the right decision! Almost zero stress and no one went broke or into debt for one time ceremony that lasts a day. I don't understand why people can't focus on the meaning of a marriage instead of the glamor of a wedding
11:27 Why does the bride think the day won’t be “full of love and happiness” if all the couples aren’t married? One couple who isn’t married is not going to ruin OP’s big day.
I think I understand where the first story's OP is coming from. I doubt that sort of behaviour from her family is NEW, and I'm guessing it happened right from her childhood. It is possible that OP is not only a passive person, but also someone who had felt rejected in her own family for years. Under this environment, it would be near impossible for her to speak up because she would be either ignored, or there is the sheer fear of being further rejected or that she would receive a confirmation from her family that they rejects her. Even now when they opted out of her wedding, it is STILL not a confirmation of rejection as long as they don't tell her point-blank "We don't care about you", so that is the "incentive" of continuing to keep silent.
That sister in the second story's behavior was a little extreme. I worked with a girl who would do similar stuff. She had a boyfriend, herself, but flirt with other guys who not only had girlfriends, but those who were married, too. It made ME uncomfortable & she wasn't directing it towards me.
I’m just hoping the walking around pantless had the US meaning not the UK meaning 😂
Her behavior was absolutely disgusting.
My marriage lasted 4 years, my 'engagement' 34 years so far - finding someone good is more important than labelling what kind of couple you are imo.
I get the feeling with the first one that she's been treated like an afterthought most of her life, so probably already has learned that speaking up may be pointless or cause negativity towards herself.
"Learn how to express your boundaries in a healthy and respectful way" is easier said than done when they repeatedly are crossed over and to me it seems as if OP grew up in a family that's not great with accepting those, thus making it really, really hard to speak up when you actually want to. Poor OP...with parents that apparently don't even know what treating EVERY child respectfully mean. The siblings don't sound empathetic as well. Who cares that it "makes them seem old"?! How is that any concern?!
I feel for the first woman. I am in my 50's and after years of silently enduring mh parents selfish behaviour I finally started telling them a couple of years ago about all the things they had done that had hurt me and deeply affected my life. They didn't understand any of it and were defensive about their catalogue of putting their needs/wants before mine. I finally had to give up because the resentment was destroying me and I cut all contact with them in order to keep my sanity. They say they are still bewildered as to why. I couldn't speak up or object to anything as a child, but I wonder if things would be different now if I had spoken up about things as they happened when I became an adult.
Thanks for sharing! I read a book called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", and it really helped me understand my relationship with my mom. It also helped me decide how to move forward in the relationship (or not) and which behaviors to ignore or confront. Highly recommend it :)
@@shannonsanchez8890 Thanks so much for that Shannon. I've just found it on Amazon and look forward to reading it. I nearly deleted my comment rather than posting it because I wasn't sure if it sounded a bit self indulgent, but now I'm so glad I did! Thank you.
A child shouldn’t have to act like an adult and talk to their parents like that. It’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure that they aren’t hurting their child.
@@MissCaraMint Thanks you for your kindness. I tried a few times as a child but was told they were the parents and knew best, which is the case in functional families, but unfortunately not mine. I haven’t lived in the same country as then since I was 16 (their choice), so cutting them off was almost easy, at least in a practical sense, if not an emotional one.
@@SpacecatMoonbeam Honestly, good for you! I'm in my mid 30's myself and grew up with a narc mother. Finally managed to speak up and cut all contact a couple of years ago. Now my own wedding is on the horizon and yes, naturally there's still a part of me that wished "things were different" and I had a mom I could share all that with, but sometimes the reality is just: things are what they are. If I included her she'd find a way to either make it entirely her show or ruin the day for me. So honestly, overall I'm just glad now that I won't have to deal with any of that. It shouldn't be like that, but sometimes getting away is the healthiest things you can do.
Just because people don't want to get legally married doesn't necessarily mean they're not committed to each other. Many couples are together for many years, with joint bank accounts and property ownership, pets, and children. It is in poor taste to invite only one half of a long-term pair, and in even poorer taste to shame their relationship.
Exactly; Marriage doesn't feel like that much committement anymore with the divorce statistics. Out of three aunts all are divorced. Their relationships after (they aren't wedded) have held far longer than the marriages.
So true. In my family most people aren’t married. My cousin has been with her partner for 23 years and they have two kids. My brother has been with his gf for 12 years and they have two kids. Marriage doesn’t make it more serious
100% agreed. I'm also from a family where people don't get married (or some at city hall on the free hour). My parents have been happy together for 44 years and they never married. I can't imagine them not staying together until death parts them. It would be absolutely ridiculous if they would not be considered a committed couple.
I've been with my boyfriend for 16 years, we're 32. We've been together for half of our lives (and worked hard at it, since we were teens and all). Hell yes I would be offended if someone didn't give one of us a plus one to their wedding. We live together and have a dog and cat and a car with both our names on the title. The audacity of someone to equate marriage to commitment...
I've experienced that recently.. my boyfriend and I are 27, been dating for 5 years and known each other for 13. Lived together for 3+ and our first kid is due this month. The reason is they didn't want to pay for their friends' unmarried partners was because of budget and "non commitment".. even though I've been around longer than they've even known each other. Not my wedding, not my rules, and it's next month so I'd be at home with baby anyways. But it would've been nice to be invited.
This reminds me of my mom felling so rejected when my birth came around, and my mother’s parents (selfish narcissists’) went on a cross country trip/vacation at the same time. My mother, who was by no means the favorite child, was crushed, especially when the grandparents went to see their ‘Kids’ (my uncles kids) whilst on said trip.
Once back from the trip my grandparents gave my mom second hand baby clothes from my cousins. No shower, no new clothes, just that junk after I was three months old.
Thank goodness for my caring, classy grandparents from my dad’s side.
My mom’s parents and family are complete trash.
My husband and I talked about story #1 and we happily volunteer him to walk you down the isle. OR I bet collectively we all would be happy walking you down the isle. (All Charlottes fans may make it a little tricky to fit us all but we got you girl!)
On the issue of insisting to wearing white if you're not the bride; As a artist with Photoshop skills, at the request of the bride I changed the color of the dress of the offending guest in all the photos. Each photo a different color!
"I'm worried that some people might side with her" THATS HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN THE WRONG
I had my only sister as MOH in my bridal party. But when she got married I wasn't even asked to be in her bridal party. She had all her church friends because church is more important than family 😳 And that's the story of why I don't speak to my sister, and why I'm not particularly religious 😆
Next thing you know she'll be part of a cult or something lol
@@user-mw8oo1sl6t 😂😂😂
For the second story, the bride also needs to talk to her fiancé and make sure he is on board for setting clear boundaries about clothing, appropriateness, personal comments, etc. her behavior is wholly inappropriate and concerning. Signed, mental health professional
if i was the girl in the 1st story I'd formally un-invite them from my entire life. Not just the wedding
Really? Because you decided to have a wedding at the same time you knew your parents were going to see your sister who hasn't been around FOR SEVERAL YEARS? A trip that has taken longer to plan for than your wedding? I think they'd be lucky if you did, then again, the easier thing to do would be to talk to them.
@@ceeshnia She also could have pushed back, she knew about it
@@anonymousaccount8941 the world isn't THAT big, it's fully possible to take a few days to travel back home during your TWO YEAR VACATION to go to your kid's wedding. Those parents didn't deserve kids in the first place.
AND she hasn't really said anything about it.
They've already issued that invitation. When she accepts it, her life will improve in every way.
For the girl in the first story I'd suggest asking her soon to be father in law to walk her down the aisle. Shame on her family for abandoning her on one of the biggest days in her life. They don't deserve her. 😪
Man. Hearing how these sisters treat each other just infuriates me. My sister has been dead almost 9 years. Her absence is a giant hole in my heart, and these petty brats can't appreciate each other and treat them with respect. 😢
Speaking of "sisterly love." I once made the mistake of sharing my thoughts on the perfect wedding march song with my younger sister...
I didn't find out until she was walking down the aisle.
Anyway, they didn't last long, sooo... 😅
Karma got her 😂
Good
I don't blame the first bride at all. Being the youngest in the family I've always had to just 'deal with it' even if my parents' or siblings' actions hurt me. It is completely understandable why she can't speak up, cause honestly in this situation, she shouldn't have to.
AGREED!!
I agree. First off, you shouldn’t have to tell your parents you want them at your wedding, they should just automatically be there. I really don’t understand why they don’t go on vacation after the wedding, it makes no sense to me. additionally, the fact that she doesn’t seem to be a priority at all, says a lot about her childhood and explains why standing up for herself is difficult with this lot.
She's a scapegoat and they can be any one of the birth order. I'm oldest and that story was triggering for me. I'm not even close to marriage but I asked my mom once if they (my folks) we're coming to my wedding. "We'll have to see." Considering not even inviting them!
Nah, I'm the youngest and I would definitely say, but I think everyone overlooks the fact that her parents planned the trip before she set the date or was even proposed to so it doesn't sound like this is something that's easy to change to me... they've been planning it longer than her wedding - she should have picked another date if she wanted them there. Siblings were a bit harsh though but probably didn't realise how she was feeling because she didn't say anything. People don't learn things through osmosis.
@@anonymousaccount8941 the holiday lasts for 2 years?? Surely they could fly home and go back afterwards, you know, lukewarm out of the two year long holiday! One week out of the 102 week long holiday! No, they are being uncaring in the very least!
So she's celebrating love and long term relationships but ignores the one couple that's been together longer than nearly all of them.
If my parents were on a vacation for TWO YEARS they would fly back around the world to Australia for my wedding in a heartbeat, there’s not even a question in my mind that they would take a break from their two year vacation to attend my wedding
The first one broke my heart I know exactly how the poor girl feels. I grew up being the child that was never really cared for as much as my siblings. I rarely asked for anything and when I did a lot of the times it would just end with me getting excited only to be let down. I can understand how its hard for her to tell them. Its almost worse. They should know better and it hurts that they dont but even worse would be to say it directly and still not have them care at all. Or even say they will be there only to cancel last minute. Personally I've accepted that my parents and some of my family will not be at my wedding. I would be absolutely devastated if my siblings were like hers however. I don't dream of my dad walking me down the isle but my older brother. He has always been there for me and has been one of the few people that has never treated me badly or let me down. I would be absolutely crushed if he said he wouldn't walk me down the isle because of such a selfish and stupid reason. I feel so angry and sad for this poor girl and hope she came around and found support in friends and maybe other family that ACTUALLY cares for her. She shouldn't have to accommodate family members that clearly don't care at all about her.
I just feel so bad for OP in the first story. Some people (myself included) just have a really hard time speaking up, even though we're hurting. It's much harder than it sounds, unfortunately.
Same here. Especially when you know it should be a given. This poor bride. Good job "family", way to tell your daughter/sibling that she's doesn't matter at ALL.
Couldn't she have just chosen a different date? Mom, dad & sister had this vacation planned before OP was even engaged. Usually a wedding takes about a year to plan & put together. Then there are all those people who had to cancel because of Covid! (My oldest granddaughter was in that group)
@@marshawargo7238 I would agree with you, but the post said a 2 *years* vacation. I'm not post-phoning my wedding for 2 years because of something like that. I would for sure if it was a couple of weeks or even months, but for sure, not years. Especially if there were other factors like grandparents (or anyone like that) is very sick and may not make it if it was moved 2 years in the future.
@@marshawargo7238 Or the parents could do a short trip back home? Like it's a 2 year vacay I ain't postponing anything for that long xD
Even if you have a hard time speaking up for yourself, I think your loved ones have a responsibility to be able to assess a situation and notice when someone's feeling bad. Like it doesn't take a psychology degree to figure out that skipping your kid's wedding is probably going to hurt said kid's feelings, and the parents should understand that without being told in my opinion. People are supposed to care, even about those who don't constantly scream out their emotions about everything :(
Bro I feel for the first bride. I'm the youngest of 6 as well and yeah I get it. Being the youngest of so many most of them don't ever take you seriously. Trying to speak out or talking to them is really hard since no one listens to you. It's really tough. Even if she does yell at them after having it bottled up for so long I wouldn't blame her for. It's like for the first time they see you as older and they get mad at you for it. It's clear that when she was younger she never stood up for herself and it's reflecting now. Idk if that makes sense since it's hard to put into words. I've lived through it too so I know exactly how she feels.
From what I saw on the archived thread, the first Bride might've deleted her post bcuz ppl were either misunderstanding her, insulting her, being rude and kind of just giving her the (kind of condescending in a way with how some of them wrote) to just express herself. There were people explaining why that can be hard for people, but the majority just seemed upset and pissed that she wasn't talking to her parents. And that it should be easy for her to say what's wrong like a lot of ppl haven't been conditioned by shitty parenting that having any feelings is wrong and "why aren't you happy for us? Why are you so ungrateful?" So, u kno, understandable as to why she'd delete that thread.
She also seemed a little done with having to repeat that she didn't plan the wedding to interfere & that she actually initially planned it with the idea that they'd go for a year come to the wedding and then go back, then visas took longer and she postponed it so they could still come, and that the wedding date was set before they finalized their plans (since their visas got approved the week OP wrote that when the wedding plans were finalized). Op also said their visas were "valid for 10yrs on multiple visits and they can leave anytime within the next 6 mos or so" (yes quoted from the thread).
This is just from my understanding of the thread and OPs comments. I did not read the whole thing, bcuz it was genuinely irritating me how dense some people were. If you wanna read it yourself it's here:
www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wf4ekh/aita_for_refusing_to_have_an_intimate_reception/
Respect for the woman choosing not to marry, but to be happy in a relationship for a decade. Many marriages don´t last that long. Use the money on a home, a vacation, on the kids etc. Love doesen´t need a ring, it´s just there 💜
So I was at a Wedding this weekend and it was just beautiful overall. The couple was insanely happy, locations were great, weather was just right, the photographer was insanely good and the food was just a delight. What was however an absolut mess was the DJ. I have a lot of respect for any sort of profession that is in that realm, especially since I lack any sort of comprehension for that, however I must say that it was absolutely terrible. The choices of music totally deviated from what the married couple wished for (both of them being 90s babies and rock fans). No one expected him to play rock or anything, but he mostly played music that is categorically listend by over 60 people (Kuschelschlager). He could have played everything but that. When the bride talked to him and asked to change the type of music (which was generally slow music) or genre, he blatantly ignored her. People were not getting on the dancefloor. Even after I asked the DJ to come outside of the ballroom and asked him play what is on the wishlist made by guests, he played two Rammstein songs and then reverted back to this insufferable non party music. I understand that you can’t force the DJ to play whatever every single guest asks for and that is okay, but I feel like he totally missed the demographic. Most guests, just like me, were born in the 90s and wanted familiar party music, wether we like it or not. We did not get any spice girls or Backstreet Boys or even party Schlager. Not even this god forsaken Macarena. Just grandmas Schlager. (A type of German folk music that is very kitschy and insufferable). Anyway the bride is pretty angry about that, and in my opinion understandably so and told the DJ afterwards. Some of the older attendees told her not to make a big deal out of it. I would have been pretty angry too, so I can’t say that she overreacted. Anyway this is My „she is not the ahole“ contribution.
That is awful. I had made a list of music I wanted to hear at my reception. The DJ was yeah, great! He didn't even show, sent someone else who played crap, including The Hokey Pokey which I specifically did not want. I had brought a few CDs of things I really wanted, he tried to keep them. He go no tip.
HELL no. If that happens at our wedding or worse if the DJ plays Baby Shark (screams), I swear to god I am throwing them out on their a*s and I will just DJ myself. No I don't know about DJ-ing but we can always have a backup plan. Maybe we can manage to hook up my phone or laptop or something to the speakers around the room and play music that way. Cause I'm making a list too. I plan to play a mixture of what my boyfriend likes and what I like. He likes newer stuff from the early 2000's and I like old school music. From the 50's all the way to the 90's. I like the early 2000's too but not as much (We're both 2002 babies by the way). And I will be reaching out to all of my closest friends in advance and every single one of them will get to pick 2 songs that they really want to hear so that I'll at least be pleasing all of them. I want everyone to enjoy the music and dance and have fun.
They should have kicked him out. With everyone having phones, you can hook up a bluetooth speaker and play music that way.
@@elizabethsorensen7363 That's what I'm sayin!
Ummm...she's paying the DJ so he should have played her music list. WTH?!?!
First story, I first was confused why you would plan a wedding during a planned vacation... yhen I went back. A 2 year vacation???? And they cant postpone it or comeback for maybe a week? Dafuq. NTA
Anyone who can afford a two-year international vacation can afford to add an extra stop to attend your child’s wedding!
The first bride can put into words how she feels - she wrote a reddit post all about it. If she can't find the words in person, send the reddit post to the most understanding member of the family so they can help the other family members understand.
Neither of my parents even like my partner. If either of them had decided to miss our wedding because they can't support us as a couple I would be crushed but I would understand. I can't even imagine them not going simply because they had better things to do... That's heartbreaking.
For the second one, I was like what? she’s tripping 😂😂 then I saw the dresses and they look like wedding dresses. And sadly this happens
Maybe the sister getting married could go shopping with the youngest sister to choose a dress?
Right? Like why is nobody talking about how the sister basically wants to steal OP's entire life? That definitely did not just come across like that in writing.
@@lisahuber9329 I was going to make the same argument as Charlotte and say that a lot of those lines probably sound worse when compiled and could have been one-off remarks spread out over several years that have just never been stopped because OP never spoke out...but then I remembered the sister was walking around pantsless when the husband was over and specifically calling the kid "my baby." It's pretty "Single White Female" or "Hand that Rocks the Cradle." ...eesh.
@@AllyGatorAnimator “all about eve” vibes
I’m from a large family and have a hard time verbally expressing my feelings. Partly because I feel several emotions at the same time. I have to sort through them to figure out how I really feel. And then I can come back and talk about how I feel. Even If you break down in tears it’s worth it. If they don’t listen and let you know you’re important to them too. Walk yourself down the isle proudly knowing you stood up for yourself.
The girl in the 1st story had the massive right to say "But its my day" and this is one of the situations where that should be used. Its her day and you would think they would want to be there.
With the first story:
My biological father refused to come to my first wedding. Gave no reason. He was literally 3 blocks away from the church. Then he complained to my brother after the wedding about how he wasn’t included.
He did show up to my second wedding.
The woman in the first story was def raised a people pleaser I know how that feels even after NC for over a decade I still have a hard time setting boundaries unless I feel safe to do so. Don't be too hard on her
Don’t know if I’m proud to be among the first to watch this video or ashamed at how interested I am in strangers’ drama 😂😂 love it
Story 1: I know these kind of people. No matter how she speaks up about it, subtly respectful or raging bridezilla mode they are going to yell and make her feel guilty over how selfish she can be for disturbing their planned vacation. If she actually want to have them at her wedding she might actually have to go into raging bridezilla mode. Yes it will be an awkward wedding but they'll be there. Subtly respectful will just make them ignore her for being overly dramatic. And as some suggested here write them a letter. They will use everything in that letter against her from now until eternity.
That first story was insane! I cannot imagine missing my child's wedding. That contract is crazy! I'd have no problem saying no.
OH DANG. First one sits me on the trigger train HARD. Your family is supposed to be considerate, but it's also hard to break through these dynamics (one being silent and shouldering stuff while the others take with both hands open), they're usually ingrained for years if not decades. OP needs to go to therapy and work on their self worth and setting boundries, NTA but their family can't just unlearn decade old behavior in a few months.
My sister went NC with me along with an Aunt. No show at my wedding and good effing riddance!
Speaking to the woman that is striving to have family at her wedding. I think they have proven your role in their lives. As for myself (7 of 8) I get it how you can be pushed aside or to the back of the line when it comes to what you want/need. If you aren't a priority to them , they don't deserve to be a priority of yours. I adopted the notion that I would rather be alone than to spend even an hour with someone tha didn't want to be with me. Healthy? probably not. Have I broken that on occasion? Yes , but all in all it has served me well. Make your husband your priority as he should make you his and forget all others that don't seem to care. It might hurt but this too shall pass.
I believe that is very healthy attitude, if they're not treating you the way you need to be treated .. adios!
I think you're brave and strong!
Okay so I've totally GOT IT! You know how if a crowd will LOVE something they'll clap, or if their "alternative" they'll snap, so now if we LOVE something Charlotte posts we'll Chomp, the sound of the Bridezilla goes Chomp Chomp Chomp!!!
As the youngest of 6, the first story is unfortunately what happens a lot. You would do anything for your siblings and they take advantage of that without reciprocating ❤
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" - Charlotte 🙂 . Well if you are uninviting the person who was responsible for you and your fiancee meeting then at the very least you should take a long hard look in the mirror .
That's actually 1990's hip hop she was quoting.
So we can conclude that Bridezilla is a Karen category.
Or could we, should we, dare we...?
A Karen's still a Karen even if you stick a veil on her, so I agree 😂
Oh, we could, we should, and we definitely dare!
Yes
Bridezillas are event related for the most part but Karens are forever. But a Karenzilla is another breed that no one wants unleashed on them
Karen in the making -- this is probably where a lot of them start
My brother and grandfather argued about who would walk me down the aisle, they finally agreed that they’d both do it. It was a beautiful moment
I’m disappointed in people who immediately jump down her throat for not standing up for herself. Question why she didn’t feel safe standing up for herself in front of the two people she should’ve felt the safest with, her parents. What you should do is offer her support and help her understand that her parents taught her not to care for her self, and she will have to learn by speaking with professionals who can help her, in spite of the damage her parents did to her.
Yeah, and from the sound of it, she did say something, but it did not click for anyone and how can one make people listen, if no 9ne wants to, without starting an argument, if one is already that hurt and dissapointed and the just do not want to consider you in the first place?!
For the 1st story...I would disinvited the entire selfish family.😂the parents,siblings..everyone. in a large family you need to speak up,or you would end up in a dark corner alone. The child that doesn't cry doesn't get the milk..or whatever they say 😂😂
1st story sounds like she was switched at birth and was dropped in a family of narcissists.
Does it? For planning the wedding at the same time as she knew her parents had this massive trip planned to see her sister?
@@anonymousaccount8941 nobody needs a vacation that lasts 2 YEARS. they clearly dont want to attend the wedding and dont care about her
@@ryuuka1498 Yeah, a two year vacation is just...moving somewhere else. Zero reason they couldn't return for the wedding. Bet they'll make the effort for one of the kids they actually love.
@@elenachristian9860 Yeah, it seems like the other sister is the favourite. Awful people tbh.
Bridezillas are always funny to hear about.
I can't believe the brother refused to walk his little sister down the aisle because it would make him "look old". That makes zero sense! My brother walked me down the aisle at my wedding when he was 27. Some people have their own sons walk them down the aisle. That's just ridiculous.
My parents were on vacation and elected to not attend my wedding, 48 years later, I’m still hurt about it. All parents have passed away, doesn’t matter, still hurt.
Charlotte! You need to do an update on the sexy potato story! There's a continuation on another subreddit post!
I’m so invested in that story too! I was wanting to hear more after sexy potato eater reported woman to HR. 🤣🤣🤣
In South Africa peope put up a huge framed photo of deceased ( usually a parent) up prominently in the reception area , with a heartfelt message from bride/ groom.
Everytime I read those stories or watch your videos I am so grateful that my husband and I married with only 2 "guests" (our sisters, as witnesses) and after that had coffee at our house. Nothing special but also NO drama! XD
Every single night I play charlottes videos and my unborn baby kicks, he knows her voice! 😂
The first one; I agree she should really learn to speak up to them (maybe do it together with her fiancé or a trusted friend if that will help her) and explain how they're hurting her. BUT, I also get the feeling her parents and siblings don't seem to care for her feelings at all and even disregard them, so I wouldn't be surprised this is how she cannot stand up for herself. They probably hardly care for her at all if her parents won't go to her wedding on purpose and her siblings not wanting to walk her down the aisle also don't give a damn about her as their excuse is so incredibly lame. If they cared about her they would've done that for her. I hope her future husband and his family will be more like a loving family for her than her own, because this is messed up.
I think thats a big assumption that her family don't care about her. I get the sense she doesn't value the sibling who went away and her parents commitment to a trip that was in the planning before she was even proposed to. She's the baby so a total princess and thinks everyone should drop everything for her because she decided her wedding should be at this time and she's the most important. I don't actually think that, but that would be a fitting narrative too given the info and if I decided to read between the lines as heavily as you have.
@@anonymousaccount8941 it's just my opinion on what I'm reading, it's totally fine for you to disagree or if I'm totally wrong about it🤷🏼♀️
@@anonymousaccount8941 Where the heck are you getting that read, dude?
8:03 *For our wedding, my bridesmaids were my sisters and sister-in-laws.*
The dress I picked out for the bridesmaids were a black cocktail dress ($20), but the expensive part was they had to travel, from Washington or Utah, to California to be at the wedding.
I don’t think I made them spend too much money, because I could’ve made them spend _a lot more money_ on the dress, and a lot of money on a party (but we didn’t have one).
The friend of the last girl had a lucky escape tbh. She doesn’t need someone like that in her life.
It's hard setting healthy boundaries and communicating healthily with loved ones when they can't even do the same for themselves (or they literally don't know how to).
That said, first story is one I resonated with the most (even though I will never EVER be getting married) but I do think she should have said something. Especially to those selfish siblings
I thought it was weird how when the bride did set clear boundaries and enforced clear communication in the form of a contract she got shit on for it, sure irs a social occasion, but it's also a legal one, a buisness one, potentially a religious one. Asking for clear and substantial statements of commitment is kinda the theme of a wedding after all
I think OP in the first story should be pity, and upload a photo of the wedding that shows her with her guests, and than in the caption write, "The most important people at my wedding." Or something like that. Make toxic parents and siblings feel and look bad for choosing a stupid vacation over their youngest sibling and child's wedding.
Is it a stupid vacation?? OP hasn't seen that sister in 20 years. Means the parents probably haven't had a lot of interaction with her and are going to live with her for 2 years after so long. They plan and make dates and everything before OP even got engaged. An then OP goes ahead and plans her wedding for a date that she knows they will be gone and just expects them to drop everything. She's not asking for something simple and she didn't even ask. I feel for her but also think. She's getting married she's an adult, she needs to talk if she wants to fix something. Could she not have had her wedding before they left? She's not willing to concede her time schedule, just wants them to drop everything without even asking?
My mother hasn't been able to see my older brother in more than 20 years. I understand how incredibly important a trip like that would be for her. I would never schedule my wedding during a trip she already had planned and scheduled. Op wants them to change their vacation to another year. OP either change her wedding date or at least talk to her family and try to work something else.
I can easily see why the parents would think she doesn't care if already knew they won't be home and decided to plan her wedding for that specific time.
The thing is; would they even care?
@@elalogar7340 they would because their friend's and work colleagues will see it, and it will damage their reputation.
Once one of my wife’s cousins invited us to a wedding, bought a present, then were uninvited; then asked us to send the gift if we had got one.
Dude my dad was abusive, and absent for most special events in my life. We argue all the time. But that being said, he sucked it up...came to my wedding and walked me down the aisle even though he said he never would. I'm so sorry for the first girl. So sad, siblings should have definitely stepped in.
Bruh the first OP is such a doormat that she tells her doormat story and then even apologizes to people in the comment section for being a doormat. Omg. That was hard to read
Oh, I feel for the first OP! If she needs someone to walk her down the aisle, I will cheerfully do so! I too come from a family with 7 kids and it is easy to get lost in the shuffle which is why I am so thankful that my family didn’t let that happen. Send me the invite and I’ll be there in whatever get up you choose and will do what needs to be done. To include dealing with entitled guests and obnoxious family members. 😉 Where I’m from we try to honor every sibling and the baby is doted on (but not spoiled cuz who has time for that?!). I’m sorry that isn’t her experience. 🥺
Unfortunately youngest ones fall through the cracks “well we did it with the older ones so it’s fine to me for me to miss it” meaning they are selfish
LOL @ the bridezilla meter at 8:47!!