I think its not about being a pessimist or optimist, but rather about being a realist. Not being overdramatic and looking at life without a filter. Personally growing up I was a pessimist and once I started to lighten up I reduced a lot of unnecessary stress.
100% optimism = naivete 100% pessimism = cynicism Be optimistic enough to enjoy your life and build a better future - Be pessimistic enough to prepare for and defend it from the ones who want to tear it down
@Anhedon There's no power in negativity. You should be positive and optimistic no matter what and never ever fall into a victim mentality. You create your own hell or heaven on earth. It's all in your mind. Never let external events bring you down, they are not in your control either way. Focus only on what YOU can control and create a better life for yourself. In the end, positivity wins.
@@True38 There is infinite power in negativity, just as there is infinite power in positivity. And both only exist because infinity encapsulates them both.
I used to be an optimist. I was such an optimist that a friend once told me he's jealous of my optimism. How can you be so positive?! But as I grow older I'm teaching myself to be a realist instead. I feel like being an optimist and pessimist is tiring. You're holding on to an empty hope and imaginary stress. I read a lot on Buddhism and Stoicism in the last few years and it really taught me on how to be a realist. And in my opinion, being a realist is so liberating haha.
Just do whatever works for you. I like pessismism, it's comforting for me. I either get exactly what I predicted, or I'm pleasantly surprised. It really alleviates the burden of having high hopes for the world
After my parents passed away when I was 15, the only thing that got me through the experience was tragic optimism and pessimism, truly, they were tools that have helped me excell in life. 9 years later and I'm pretty successful for a 24 year old, and I owe it all to the death of my parents when I was young, showing me a different way of life and something more meaningful. Brilliant video by the way!
I personally think when it's fake optimism then you often lie to yourself to make others happy. But when the optimism is sincere nothing wrong with that. If you count on pessimism.. your playing it too save. I think life is meant to take risks even when its difficult. The result in the end will be worth it
@bastiat It's about the journey, not the destination ;) We are all going to die rich or poor and our corpse will rot somewhere underground . Why not try to make the most out of the time that is given to us?
@bastiat It's all about the process / journey that really makes you happy. Whenever you achieve a goal, it is anti-climatic and you usually have to set another one to keep yourself going.
Don't waste your time worrying about what's unlikely to come true. Use that energy for something much more compelling. "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." Peace and love to you all! 💜
An old friend once told me, "In everything you do, there are only two outcomes. It'll either work or it won't, make peace with both". I was stuck in a rut for long time and most people around me told to always speak positive. But after sometime I couldn't stand it anymore, especially while things kept getting worse. It felt almost toxic. Learning to expect nothing is difficult and frustrating but when you do, it's like a whole different breath of air
No need to worry about optimism or pessimism, only to do the best that we can with the situation that we're in. Optimism can help you to keep going in a rough situation, pessimism can help you prepare for a foreseen danger. You should be either or at the correct time.
"Prepare for the worst, hope for the best" - I guess this is a compromise of stoicism to stay optimistic (and not falling into strong pessimism and paranoia) without being overwhelmed by adversity
To me an optimist doesn't believe that this is the Best of All Possible Worlds because that's unknowable. An optimist just believes and lives life with an attitude that Hope for a better future is possible.
In short, in life, everything is balanced. And in that way, you can somehow come up to life better than any of the two. And the quote would always struck into that is "Life is like riding a bike. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." - Albert Einstein
@@juliane5632 No… ONLY balance in life IS imbalance because ironically you’re doing balance in the EXTREME… Separate from that, there are times where extremities can be healthy and superior approaches BUT you MUST find the balance IN the extremity!!!
@@Mr.Honest247 Balance is how were supposed to live but balance comes by nature, we man hand it once a balance is disrupted into no good. Just like a quote ive heard, there are no good without bad and there are no bad without good. Both bad and good lives together but one must stick the most
Remain neutral and you can accept good and bad things as they come. Assuming or embracing pessimism or optimism can create an expectation of the future that can distract us from the present.
Just a minute into the video and immediately thought of the Stockdale paradox. "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end-which you can never afford to lose-with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."
Voltaire's novel Candide also covers this topic very well. It's important to see the world as it is and how it has been. It's always humbling to know I'm not a main character or the exception to all of the horrible shit that goes on the world. It may get easier, but it's not likely. Wishing all of my fellow suffers well and hoping we can try to be more nice to one another.
Yes you are right it just happened to me last week. I went to 4 interviews I was optimistic about 2 but it failed the other 2 I was not sure but attended to my surprise they called me back for next round. Yes giving your best and not expecting much will give you much better experience than what you expected. Thanks for this video
I find the Jujutsu Kaisen “I’ll murder you :D” reference particularly funny because Gojo is so OP he could literally make fate piss itself with that line.
I think gratitude is a precursor to optimism. Gratitude is grounded in the present moment. It directs our attention to what positives we can extract from this moment. This attitude begins to erode anxiety and pessimism because, through our own experiences, we learn that even in the darkest moment, we can find a reason to be grateful.
I don’t think optimism is about expecting only the good but, rather, knowing that whatever happens you will be ok. I think there is a fallacy that pessimism is very practical. Both optimism and pessimism are deep down very emotional views. What I think some pessimists lack is healthy mental resilience. Knowing that you don’t have to be always prepared for adversity. If it happens you have resilience to recover and mend. I’m not a particularly optimistic person, and though we can see pessimis as being well prepared, worrying does have physical consequences too, such as rising cortisol, developing anxiety etc. if optimism can put in the way of external harm, pessimism can put us in the way of internal harm in the form of cynicism, cortisol levels, blood pressure, self blame for not preparing enough, resentment and lack of agency in the world if we focus on failure of actions rather than their potential. We pick what we tolerate better. But both optimism and pessimism are extremes and neither is better than the other for they are both very naïve and narrow views.
This was brilliantly said, you seem to come from a very good understanding of psychology, and I feel like someone rooting for pessimism in this way does not have that psychological awareness and understanding. You'd have to work on yourself to know you do not have to choose extreme stances to approach life as if you do not have any agency in it. It's funny that your comment sounds very much like something Julia Christina would say, to the point I thought that as soon as I started reading it, and then I see your name "Julia". Julia Christina is an professional in the field of psychology whom also provides YT content. Anyways. :)
"A degree of reasonable pessimism" is a good way to put it. Being too optimistic can lead to having a distorted view of reality, while being too pessimistic & always preparing for the worst can lead to catastrophizing which could cause perpetual anxiety. Then there is the elephant in the room: how to control our irrational impulses with reason (which is probably a lifelong learning experience)? It seems that moderation, acceptance of unpredictability, good self-control & a rational mindset are crucial when it comes to dealing with life in general - the theory, at least, seems easy. From personal experience, practice can be the complete opposite 😅
When faced with a hostile situation I think of the worse outcome and accept the worse can happen. For me, it dampens anxiety and I able to focus on the mission better.
I do believe the stoic principle 'Negative Visualization' where we do view what could go wrong in the future sets you up for success for one, you're better prepared to endure hardships in the future and secondly you're more grateful for when future events don't take a turn for the worse. Relying on the future for your happiness is dangerous and won't lead to sustainable happiness which comes from living in the present.
Yes but i seen people that is so dumb with negative visualization as well. Like they are so wreck with anxiety and fear and feel so proud they can see the future ten steps ahead but alot of time they manifest their own tragedy. So doing that is like using a blade without a handle. It will fucking cut you. To properly use negative visualization, one need this layer of thinking that even if bad things happen they can deal with it in the most calm and gracious manner possible. To let go of outcome and adjust the sails of the boat. Some uses negative visualization and drive head first into disaster. Because i assure you many people have use negative visulization terribly and harm those around us. Without that layer of letting go and accepting that fear. too many people become horrendous self serving individual. To be stoic that is the handle to use this tool well and effectively.
Sometimes the best that a pessimist can hope for is to be pleasantly disappointed. When choosing to be right or wrong about a situation, it’s best to be prepared. Sometimes it’s a blessing to not get what you want.
Being a realist is a balanced way to get through life. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine, but not everything is dark clouds either. We often just make our own choices, and only a small part of life is out of our hands.
“optimism, where it is not just the thoughtless talk of someone with only words in his flat head, strikes me as not only absurd, but even a truly wicked way of thinking, a bitter mockery of the unspeakable sufferings of humanity.” -Schopenhauer
When people ask me how I am I always reply: “surviving” at which people tell me it sounds like I’m struggling to be alive. But my view is that whenever nothing positive or negative is happening I’m just being alive so in other words just surviving.
One of my favorite quotes is from Lao Tsu, "Hope or fear, what's the difference?" I feel like this sums up this video. His fears turned into a vigorous (false hope) in order for him to escape the mental stress of being kept in prison." Seems like all hope stem from fear and thus hoping is just you feeding the fear that's dormant in your subconscious. It's better not to hope and thus you will cut source of energy from your fears. And you will eventually face reality as it is. I heard it's better to have faith than hope. But sometimes I can't really tell the difference between faith and hope.
I feel like faith is a powerful but dying emotion. It's utterly illogical belief. The only distinction between faith and a dellusion is that the faithful do not believe they have a reason or an argument for why they're right, they chose to believe something and believe it because they want to believe it. That is faith. It's a stubborn way of being that requires devotion and immense discipline.
Benjamin Franklin said he was a pessimist because when things turned out badly, he got to say "I told you so"; but when things turned out well, he got a happy surprise! :D
I think the best takeaway here is don’t expect anything. If you expect nothing, the world surprises you. Also relates to the paradox of accepting negative experience is a positive experience
In my experience, gallows humor is a much better way to deal with a grim situation than optimism. Better to be a pessimist so the good things that happen in life are pleasantly surprising, rather than an optimist who more often than not ends up feeling disappointed.
But that is optimism because in optimism you are supposed to look for the bright side and be happy whatever the situation maybe. You can't be disappointed in optimism. Stoicism is basically extreme optimism.
If Stoic philosophy has taught me anything, it's to neither be optimistic or pessimistic. But rather to accept a middle ground & embrace my fate, whatever it may be. In other words...amor fati. “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” - Marcus Aurelius “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing..." - Seneca
Rational and not solely, overtly delusional is the better way. They say; "You're so negative!". But is it in fact actual honesty? Reasonable doses of pessimism can often be necessary. Reality doesn't exist to cater to one's feelings.
Balance (though difficult to accomplish as people in general tend to be creatures of EXTREME) is KEY. A bit of BOTH is needed in order to navigate life in a healthy way.
Excellent insight. The middle way is most suitable as a philosophy. There is a slight advantage to being slightly overconfident as with being extroverted, but balance remains essential.
In Brazil there is a saying: "esperança de esperar" Esperança = hope Esperar = wait or waiting Which criticizes blind hope that things will simply get better by themselves
My personal mantra is that if all good things must come to an end, you should treat every moment as a good one because until the end of that particular moment, you may not know if it was a good moment or not. Goes back to when people say it may be bad in the moment, but a few years from now you'll be laughing at yourself. You don't always need to look on the bright side, but instead just enjoy what can be enjoyed about that moment.
My philosophy is simple and has yet to fail me once: - Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Cherish the wins and learn from the failures. Every day is a new canvas, no two alike and at the end of the day, you either save the painting or throw it out. Either way what's done is done. - Have no time or energy to waste on pretending everything will work out and always be just so peachy, as a lifetime of the opposite is simply to much data to ignore. Neither however will dwelling on things I can not change do anything but consume me.
I think there's a difference between fake hope and being optimistic... victor lived as if he was talking to his wife every day and having a "normal" life in his mind and that in itself kept him alive while others being "realistic" watching their every day pain made them pessimistic (for obvious reasons) and die sooner.
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." - attributed to John Wooden. Expect the negative, suffer as you must and make the best of what comes when you are able.
Here’s the great question. If I’m expecting and not being surprised by failure or loss am I blocking off positive action and motivation. Am I failing to do what is needed for grand success and achievement because I don’t want disappointment from being over optimistic. But I know there has to be a way to do both. Act in ways that will bring success and also prepare for loss.. tough one I have lived a lot of my life in a state of giving up and painful submission to disappointment. It’s become my way. Now how do I get out of that it’s become my comfort zone. To a point where I judge people for being surprised and acting dramatic about losses and failures. Not good. This has turned me a bit egomaniacal.. certainly cynical
I used to be very optimistic about life, and then i lost all my dreams and hopes, because life doesnt give a shit about our expectations. So, I became pessimist, because the odds are against us. The worst things in life are more likely to happen than the good things. I am trying to be more optimistic again, because i got to a point where i could not go on with my life anymore, because i didnt want to wait for even worse things to happen to me. I tried to sell houses dozens of times, and everytime i sais: things will work out; but things didnt work out even though i believed. Faith is useless actually.
It's exactly what I was thinking about. Synchronicity ! I'm fatalistic in nature and therefore It's easy to live my life because I know that It is the story of my experience here on Earth that lives through me and I'm just as a creature experiencing an experience that is already created. I don't care to be honest because I don't seek after a specific state, neither good nor bad. What must happen will happen because It has already happened. Given the world we live in I'm pessimistic and don't expect much of it. I know that almost everything is fake and a trap for those who are blinded by the fake light of optimism and faith because the fall in the reality is painful
To Anyone Reading This! I started catering for myself since my early age, i know the actual face of my parent when i reach 20years, i live with other people, you cannot imagine how hard it is but with those pain experience i passed through am still willing to push more till i share my success story so watching this kind videos got me to make research and started my CZcams Channel which am really struggling to build with everything i have and i hope one day I will share my success story so to my fellow people reading this no matter how hard it is just continue pushing forward, cry alone wipe your tears and continue, feel lonely still motivate yourself and continue because you’ve got yourself to trust the most 😭 i pray to those like me Reading this now may God almighty help us all. Amen Thanks for reading and supporting me. 🙏🏻
We should always be ready for the worst and but always do our best 👌 Overestimating or Underestimating about the future, both are the cause of suffering....
The neural science behind this is fascinating. Just like the Greeks implied, the higher our expectations are before an experience, the lower the chance it will meet or rise above our expectations. This has everything to do with dopamine spikes before an event.
I do my best with balance. I try not to see a setback as the end of the world, or a victory as permanent. The days when my gratitude exceeds my expectations generally are my happiest, but not always my best.
Since the world exists for us how we see it, it’s not only possible but healthy to control your expectations being optimistic about long term situations and pessimistic about things you would like to avoid
I've noticed this about work. If I expect to get zero customers and that my co-workers will be jackasses, I can be pleasantly surprised. If I expect it's gonna be decent or good (even if it looks that way on paper before I start) I can be easily disappointed.
I find pessimism as evik as optimism, it is essensially to tell ourselves lies to our confort. Instead, I chose to observe what happens as it is. I dont expect anythint, I just do what I must and see what happens.
The voice in the story was telling him exactly what was going to happen- and exactly what DID happen... Faith, real Faith would have given him the understanding that either the entire Camp would be liberated or he would be going on and either way that was his freedom.
This guy is right. Has anyone noticed that all of those people who make and sell all of those videos, audio, books and courses about success are not actually happy or successful themselves? I followed these people and spend much money and wasted 40 years of my life to find out that only a tiny percentage actually achieve these unrealistic goals. I am much happier now not burning myself out to achieve nothing but misery and loneliness. I now only do the 20% that achieves the 80% of results. I keep live minimal and can now die happy and in peace.
this is why I don't get exited. becuase excitement leads to disappointment. Well at least when it's about the future. if I'm creating something and it starts to come together I'll get exited because it's amazing
This makes it more clear now why people around me remind me not to be an optimist. Above all else, it is better to become a realist-expect nothing, and you’ll be rewarded. When you expect nothing, the world has something waiting for you. If you expect the most, tendency is you’ll get disappointed. This is something similar to what I heard from Paulo Coelho, ‘The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself.’ I think it’s pointless to anticipate the future. Best to live in the now.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I thought i was the only one crazy! i once told my sister of my dads emotionla abuse and my mum using a knife to hurt me just because her husband accused her of adultery! but she brushed it off with her fake hug saying that there are girls in worse situations and to be grateful! If kept everything inside then they would question that it was my fault for not telling! I cant even tell my friends just because my mother has a good name in society and no one will believe me! I encouraged her to divorce that man but she said he atleast does not drink or smoke! my sister who marreid an amercian and is so called modern said that you need to depend on him for money! and shes an aspiring human rights lawyer! They called me neagtive for demanding a divorce but i was being practical and told her it is possible since she already has a business and many good men like my mum. Its been 7 seven years and he still torments her! Im accpeting trolling comments on me and thats fine! cannot control the internet but i feel good sharing this. hopefully i can share this in person to someone who is genuine to me! Thank you for sharing this and giving this opportunity to express!
Most people don't know what to do with success and money when they achieve it. They usually lose everything and are are worst off than before they started trying.
It's different for everyone. Choose whichever side makes you happiest, or, arguably the best choice, be in the middle; be a realist. For me personally, I've just taken on the mindset that whatever happens is the best thing that could happen for/to me. If I'm going through a time of personal tranquility, then I have nothing important to learn in that moment. If I'm going through a time of anguish and hell, then there is something I need to learn or change in my life to improve it. This mindset does not work for everyone, but for me, it has reduced my anxiety to almost nothing. It's hard to be nervous when you believe what happens is the best thing to happen.
Love your videos, congrats to your channel. Optimism involves the stem optio which in Latin means that you shoud see the opportunity in everything. As far as I see it has got nothing to do with positive thinking. The original meaning of Latin or Greek words are very often narrowed down and by that loose their original sense which has multiple layers compared to our modern, dumb languages. Pessimism however means 'the worst'. As a matter of fact, in this respect, and assuming that I am right, originally they are not even the opposites of each other.
I think one needs tactical flexibility, meaning being able to move through the optimism-pessimism’s continuum, even being able to strategize taking into account different or contradictory futures potential development keeping cognitive dissonance below a threshold.
I think its not about being a pessimist or optimist, but rather about being a realist. Not being overdramatic and looking at life without a filter. Personally growing up I was a pessimist and once I started to lighten up I reduced a lot of unnecessary stress.
❤️❤️❤️
That’s it man, well said. We have to find the middle way.
So a Stoic
Both the pessimist and optimist consider themselves realists. Same applys to stoics
We shouldn't be hopeful that things will go OK, instead we should be hopeful that no matter how things go we will still be OK.
100% optimism = naivete
100% pessimism = cynicism
Be optimistic enough to enjoy your life and build a better future - Be pessimistic enough to prepare for and defend it from the ones who want to tear it down
Nice! 💪
@Anhedon There's no power in negativity. You should be positive and optimistic no matter what and never ever fall into a victim mentality.
You create your own hell or heaven on earth. It's all in your mind. Never let external events bring you down, they are not in your control either way. Focus only on what YOU can control and create a better life for yourself.
In the end, positivity wins.
@Anhedon Stoicim ftw.
Wow...you're a genius!!! Please share your ability to do the perfect thing 100% of the time with us simpletons!!!
@@True38 There is infinite power in negativity, just as there is infinite power in positivity. And both only exist because infinity encapsulates them both.
I used to be an optimist. I was such an optimist that a friend once told me he's jealous of my optimism. How can you be so positive?! But as I grow older I'm teaching myself to be a realist instead. I feel like being an optimist and pessimist is tiring. You're holding on to an empty hope and imaginary stress. I read a lot on Buddhism and Stoicism in the last few years and it really taught me on how to be a realist. And in my opinion, being a realist is so liberating haha.
I am also a Buddhist, and I agree 100% 👍
Just do whatever works for you. I like pessismism, it's comforting for me. I either get exactly what I predicted, or I'm pleasantly surprised. It really alleviates the burden of having high hopes for the world
After my parents passed away when I was 15, the only thing that got me through the experience was tragic optimism and pessimism, truly, they were tools that have helped me excell in life. 9 years later and I'm pretty successful for a 24 year old, and I owe it all to the death of my parents when I was young, showing me a different way of life and something more meaningful.
Brilliant video by the way!
Congratulations to you!
Congrats!!
I’m sure they’re watching over you and are proud
Coping is best mechanism
@Bobby Long okay bro
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Believe in the good but don’t be naive.
Best comment so far.
I personally think when it's fake optimism then you often lie to yourself to make others happy. But when the optimism is sincere nothing wrong with that. If you count on pessimism.. your playing it too save. I think life is meant to take risks even when its difficult. The result in the end will be worth it
All of the humanity greatest achievements started with optimism. That says enough.
@bastiat It's about the journey, not the destination ;) We are all going to die rich or poor and our corpse will rot somewhere underground . Why not try to make the most out of the time that is given to us?
@bastiat It's all about the process / journey that really makes you happy. Whenever you achieve a goal, it is anti-climatic and you usually have to set another one to keep yourself going.
@@MrVogelz Exactly, right on.
My experience has been that there isn't any good optimism.
Don't waste your time worrying about what's unlikely to come true. Use that energy for something much more compelling. "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." Peace and love to you all! 💜
Well said.
An old friend once told me, "In everything you do, there are only two outcomes. It'll either work or it won't, make peace with both". I was stuck in a rut for long time and most people around me told to always speak positive. But after sometime I couldn't stand it anymore, especially while things kept getting worse. It felt almost toxic. Learning to expect nothing is difficult and frustrating but when you do, it's like a whole different breath of air
No need to worry about optimism or pessimism, only to do the best that we can with the situation that we're in. Optimism can help you to keep going in a rough situation, pessimism can help you prepare for a foreseen danger. You should be either or at the correct time.
"Prepare for the worst, hope for the best" - I guess this is a compromise of stoicism to stay optimistic (and not falling into strong pessimism and paranoia) without being overwhelmed by adversity
It's all in the mind anyway, you create your own heaven or hell, depending on what you think about yourself, the world, and other people around you.
prepare for the best, let go and accept the worse
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
To me an optimist doesn't believe that this is the Best of All Possible Worlds because that's unknowable. An optimist just believes and lives life with an attitude that Hope for a better future is possible.
I believe that a balanced approach is a desirable option. Neither optimist or pessimist but a Realist!
In short, in life, everything is balanced. And in that way, you can somehow come up to life better than any of the two. And the quote would always struck into that is "Life is like riding a bike. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." - Albert Einstein
@@juliane5632 No… ONLY balance in life IS imbalance because ironically you’re doing balance in the EXTREME… Separate from that, there are times where extremities can be healthy and superior approaches BUT you MUST find the balance IN the extremity!!!
@@Mr.Honest247 Balance is how were supposed to live but balance comes by nature, we man hand it once a balance is disrupted into no good. Just like a quote ive heard, there are no good without bad and there are no bad without good. Both bad and good lives together but one must stick the most
Or just get pisses and numb our selfs😂 simply lovely
Remain neutral and you can accept good and bad things as they come. Assuming or embracing pessimism or optimism can create an expectation of the future that can distract us from the present.
Just a minute into the video and immediately thought of the Stockdale paradox. "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end-which you can never afford to lose-with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."
I've learned to expect the best, and prepare for the worst in my life. The past is a great teacher.
Voltaire's novel Candide also covers this topic very well. It's important to see the world as it is and how it has been. It's always humbling to know I'm not a main character or the exception to all of the horrible shit that goes on the world. It may get easier, but it's not likely. Wishing all of my fellow suffers well and hoping we can try to be more nice to one another.
Yes you are right it just happened to me last week. I went to 4 interviews I was optimistic about 2 but it failed the other 2 I was not sure but attended to my surprise they called me back for next round. Yes giving your best and not expecting much will give you much better experience than what you expected. Thanks for this video
"Happiness is reality minus expectation" seems to fit best here. Love your videos!
I find the Jujutsu Kaisen “I’ll murder you :D” reference particularly funny because Gojo is so OP he could literally make fate piss itself with that line.
I think gratitude is a precursor to optimism. Gratitude is grounded in the present moment. It directs our attention to what positives we can extract from this moment. This attitude begins to erode anxiety and pessimism because, through our own experiences, we learn that even in the darkest moment, we can find a reason to be grateful.
Don't be neither an optimist nor a pessimist but rather be a realist, look at things exactly how they are and all will be well with you
This channel is better than all my country's government and private schools combined.
"Optimistic Nihilism" is my answer. I believe I've heard "Absurdism" described similarly.
I don’t think optimism is about expecting only the good but, rather, knowing that whatever happens you will be ok.
I think there is a fallacy that pessimism is very practical. Both optimism and pessimism are deep down very emotional views.
What I think some pessimists lack is healthy mental resilience. Knowing that you don’t have to be always prepared for adversity. If it happens you have resilience to recover and mend.
I’m not a particularly optimistic person, and though we can see pessimis as being well prepared, worrying does have physical consequences too, such as rising cortisol, developing anxiety etc.
if optimism can put in the way of external harm, pessimism can put us in the way of internal harm in the form of cynicism, cortisol levels, blood pressure, self blame for not preparing enough, resentment and lack of agency in the world if we focus on failure of actions rather than their potential.
We pick what we tolerate better.
But both optimism and pessimism are extremes and neither is better than the other for they are both very naïve and narrow views.
Well said.
This was brilliantly said, you seem to come from a very good understanding of psychology, and I feel like someone rooting for pessimism in this way does not have that psychological awareness and understanding. You'd have to work on yourself to know you do not have to choose extreme stances to approach life as if you do not have any agency in it.
It's funny that your comment sounds very much like something Julia Christina would say, to the point I thought that as soon as I started reading it, and then I see your name "Julia". Julia Christina is an professional in the field of psychology whom also provides YT content. Anyways. :)
"A degree of reasonable pessimism" is a good way to put it. Being too optimistic can lead to having a distorted view of reality, while being too pessimistic & always preparing for the worst can lead to catastrophizing which could cause perpetual anxiety. Then there is the elephant in the room: how to control our irrational impulses with reason (which is probably a lifelong learning experience)? It seems that moderation, acceptance of unpredictability, good self-control & a rational mindset are crucial when it comes to dealing with life in general - the theory, at least, seems easy. From personal experience, practice can be the complete opposite 😅
When faced with a hostile situation I think of the worse outcome and accept the worse can happen. For me, it dampens anxiety and I able to focus on the mission better.
Thinking for yourself isn’t easy. Being unrealistic isn’t thinking at all. ❤️
I do believe the stoic principle 'Negative Visualization' where we do view what could go wrong in the future sets you up for success for one, you're better prepared to endure hardships in the future and secondly you're more grateful for when future events don't take a turn for the worse. Relying on the future for your happiness is dangerous and won't lead to sustainable happiness which comes from living in the present.
Yes but i seen people that is so dumb with negative visualization as well. Like they are so wreck with anxiety and fear and feel so proud they can see the future ten steps ahead but alot of time they manifest their own tragedy.
So doing that is like using a blade without a handle. It will fucking cut you. To properly use negative visualization, one need this layer of thinking that even if bad things happen they can deal with it in the most calm and gracious manner possible. To let go of outcome and adjust the sails of the boat. Some uses negative visualization and drive head first into disaster.
Because i assure you many people have use negative visulization terribly and harm those around us. Without that layer of letting go and accepting that fear. too many people become horrendous self serving individual.
To be stoic that is the handle to use this tool well and effectively.
Sometimes the best that a pessimist can hope for is to be pleasantly disappointed.
When choosing to be right or wrong about a situation, it’s best to be prepared.
Sometimes it’s a blessing to not get what you want.
And this is a clear meaning upon the duality of life... Meaning that life is fragile 🕜
Being a realist is a balanced way to get through life. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine, but not everything is dark clouds either. We often just make our own choices, and only a small part of life is out of our hands.
Thank you for this content. It reminded me to always lower my expectations in order to be happier.
- 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
“optimism, where it is not just the thoughtless talk of someone with only words in his flat head, strikes me as not only absurd, but even a truly wicked way of thinking, a bitter mockery of the unspeakable sufferings of humanity.”
-Schopenhauer
What a pathetic attitude. This quote makes him sound like an edgy depressed teenage girl.
When people ask me how I am I always reply: “surviving” at which people tell me it sounds like I’m struggling to be alive. But my view is that whenever nothing positive or negative is happening I’m just being alive so in other words just surviving.
One of my favorite quotes is from Lao Tsu, "Hope or fear, what's the difference?" I feel like this sums up this video. His fears turned into a vigorous (false hope) in order for him to escape the mental stress of being kept in prison." Seems like all hope stem from fear and thus hoping is just you feeding the fear that's dormant in your subconscious. It's better not to hope and thus you will cut source of energy from your fears. And you will eventually face reality as it is. I heard it's better to have faith than hope. But sometimes I can't really tell the difference between faith and hope.
That's a great line.
I used to think hope and fear were near opposites before reading Lao Tzu.
"Hope is as hollow as fear," says my translation.
@@amygdalae That's the correct version actually haha. I think this one was, "success or failure, what's the difference."
I feel like faith is a powerful but dying emotion. It's utterly illogical belief. The only distinction between faith and a dellusion is that the faithful do not believe they have a reason or an argument for why they're right, they chose to believe something and believe it because they want to believe it. That is faith. It's a stubborn way of being that requires devotion and immense discipline.
Benjamin Franklin said he was a pessimist because when things turned out badly, he got to say "I told you so"; but when things turned out well, he got a happy surprise! :D
I think the best takeaway here is don’t expect anything. If you expect nothing, the world surprises you. Also relates to the paradox of accepting negative experience is a positive experience
"A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist." - Me
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Thanks for sharing.
In my experience, gallows humor is a much better way to deal with a grim situation than optimism. Better to be a pessimist so the good things that happen in life are pleasantly surprising, rather than an optimist who more often than not ends up feeling disappointed.
But that is optimism because in optimism you are supposed to look for the bright side and be happy whatever the situation maybe. You can't be disappointed in optimism. Stoicism is basically extreme optimism.
If Stoic philosophy has taught me anything, it's to neither be optimistic or pessimistic. But rather to accept a middle ground & embrace my fate, whatever it may be. In other words...amor fati.
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” - Marcus Aurelius
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing..." - Seneca
Rational and not solely, overtly delusional is the better way. They say; "You're so negative!". But is it in fact actual honesty?
Reasonable doses of pessimism can often be necessary. Reality doesn't exist to cater to one's feelings.
For most people nowadays reality is the new negativity .
Great post my friend. Stay strong, free, happy and healthy ✨️
Balance (though difficult to accomplish as people in general tend to be creatures of EXTREME) is KEY. A bit of BOTH is needed in order to navigate life in a healthy way.
Or the third option: be a "realist", like the Buddha suggested ;D
Buddha isn't a realist he believes in reincarnation and a higher state of consciousness
@@heavenlypath1065 seems like you are a ignore-ist
@@eiseneuter2034 Yeah sure whatever box your imagination wants to put me in lmao
@@heavenlypath1065 so in your opinion, there are no higher states of consciousness?
realism is subjective. 😅 so it really doesn't exists objectively
These videos changed my way of viewing the world. Thank you for doing this.
Being optimistic is crucial when people go through tough time
Advantages of pessimism:
You're either right or pleasantly surprised.
Excellent insight. The middle way is most suitable as a philosophy. There is a slight advantage to being slightly overconfident as with being extroverted, but balance remains essential.
Its close to a quote i heard: Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
In Brazil there is a saying:
"esperança de esperar"
Esperança = hope
Esperar = wait or waiting
Which criticizes blind hope that things will simply get better by themselves
My personal mantra is that if all good things must come to an end, you should treat every moment as a good one because until the end of that particular moment, you may not know if it was a good moment or not. Goes back to when people say it may be bad in the moment, but a few years from now you'll be laughing at yourself. You don't always need to look on the bright side, but instead just enjoy what can be enjoyed about that moment.
My philosophy is simple and has yet to fail me once:
- Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Cherish the wins and learn from the failures. Every day is a new canvas, no two alike and at the end of the day, you either save the painting or throw it out. Either way what's done is done. -
Have no time or energy to waste on pretending everything will work out and always be just so peachy, as a lifetime of the opposite is simply to much data to ignore.
Neither however will dwelling on things I can not change do anything but consume me.
Always insightful. Thankful to be a recipient of your desire to spread truthfulness and a right perspective
I think there's a difference between fake hope and being optimistic... victor lived as if he was talking to his wife every day and having a "normal" life in his mind and that in itself kept him alive while others being "realistic" watching their every day pain made them pessimistic (for obvious reasons) and die sooner.
"Always take your happiness in advance, the worst that can happen is that you were happy unnecessarily" as I read on one sign in Sweden
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." - attributed to John Wooden. Expect the negative, suffer as you must and make the best of what comes when you are able.
Here’s the great question. If I’m expecting and not being surprised by failure or loss am I blocking off positive action and motivation. Am I failing to do what is needed for grand success and achievement because I don’t want disappointment from being over optimistic. But I know there has to be a way to do both. Act in ways that will bring success and also prepare for loss.. tough one
I have lived a lot of my life in a state of giving up and painful submission to disappointment. It’s become my way. Now how do I get out of that it’s become my comfort zone. To a point where I judge people for being surprised and acting dramatic about losses and failures. Not good. This has turned me a bit egomaniacal.. certainly cynical
I used to be very optimistic about life, and then i lost all my dreams and hopes, because life doesnt give a shit about our expectations. So, I became pessimist, because the odds are against us. The worst things in life are more likely to happen than the good things. I am trying to be more optimistic again, because i got to a point where i could not go on with my life anymore, because i didnt want to wait for even worse things to happen to me. I tried to sell houses dozens of times, and everytime i sais: things will work out; but things didnt work out even though i believed. Faith is useless actually.
Watch Shawshak's Redemption. It will help you.
It's exactly what I was thinking about. Synchronicity ! I'm fatalistic in nature and therefore It's easy to live my life because I know that It is the story of my experience here on Earth that lives through me and I'm just as a creature experiencing an experience that is already created. I don't care to be honest because I don't seek after a specific state, neither good nor bad. What must happen will happen because It has already happened. Given the world we live in I'm pessimistic and don't expect much of it. I know that almost everything is fake and a trap for those who are blinded by the fake light of optimism and faith because the fall in the reality is painful
The Gojo Reference at 3:32 didn’t go unnoticed. Made me laugh, thanks!
I think there’s a time to be optimistic and a time to be pessimistic. It just depends on the circumstances and your own virtues
To Anyone Reading This!
I started catering for myself since my early age, i know the actual face of my parent when i reach 20years, i live with other people, you cannot imagine how hard it is but with those pain experience i passed through am still willing to push more till i share my success story so watching this kind videos got me to make research and started my CZcams Channel which am really struggling to build with everything i have and i hope one day I will share my success story so to my fellow people reading this no matter how hard it is just continue pushing forward, cry alone wipe your tears and continue, feel lonely still motivate yourself and continue because you’ve got yourself to trust the most 😭 i pray to those like me Reading this now may God almighty help us all. Amen
Thanks for reading and supporting me. 🙏🏻
❣️🧡💕💖
As always the best advice to get the most out of any given situation without expectations.
I have to suffer in life to see the whole picture...we lose and learn to win etc. I think acceptance is key.
We have a saying that ''hope is a fool's mother''. I think being always optimistic is just naive.
Having a positive attitude is very different from being optimistic, as I see it.
We should always be ready for the worst and but always do our best 👌
Overestimating or Underestimating about the future, both are the cause of suffering....
Optimism is what landed this country in the mess it's in now. When optimism becomes bald naivete, you're opening yourself up to all kinds of trouble.
Bald naivete? Im pretty sure you ment "blind". Anyways I like your comment.
@@harrydickinsider5848 No, I meant bald, as in blatant, unrepentant, arrogant. :)
The neural science behind this is fascinating. Just like the Greeks implied, the higher our expectations are before an experience, the lower the chance it will meet or rise above our expectations. This has everything to do with dopamine spikes before an event.
I do my best with balance. I try not to see a setback as the end of the world, or a victory as permanent. The days when my gratitude exceeds my expectations generally are my happiest, but not always my best.
so no one is gonna talk about that Gojo Satoru cameo in 3:35 ?
Since the world exists for us how we see it, it’s not only possible but healthy to control your expectations being optimistic about long term situations and pessimistic about things you would like to avoid
Seeing Gojo suddenly popping up was a pleasant surprise haha, very insightful video essay! Thank you for your hard work 💙
Sleep thinking you won't wake up.
Wake up thinking it's your last day.
Repeat.
Expectation is the root of all heartache
Misfortune is result of having displaced expectations of gaining any fortune from what is life's unpredictable journeys
I've noticed this about work. If I expect to get zero customers and that my co-workers will be jackasses, I can be pleasantly surprised. If I expect it's gonna be decent or good (even if it looks that way on paper before I start) I can be easily disappointed.
My frieeeend it is always great ho hear you voice once again. We appreciate you for just you being you. Keep it up, your work is inportant
I find pessimism as evik as optimism, it is essensially to tell ourselves lies to our confort.
Instead, I chose to observe what happens as it is. I dont expect anythint, I just do what I must and see what happens.
"Keep your expectations low, and you'll never be disappointed." - Kratos
my optimism beyond my skill and capability ended up made me go to therapy and made me suicidal, being pessimist is actually saved my life.
The voice in the story was telling him exactly what was going to happen- and exactly what DID happen... Faith, real Faith would have given him the understanding that either the entire Camp would be liberated or he would be going on and either way that was his freedom.
This guy is right. Has anyone noticed that all of those people who make and sell all of those videos, audio, books and courses about success are not actually happy or successful themselves? I followed these people and spend much money and wasted 40 years of my life to find out that only a tiny percentage actually achieve these unrealistic goals. I am much happier now not burning myself out to achieve nothing but misery and loneliness. I now only do the 20% that achieves the 80% of results. I keep live minimal and can now die happy and in peace.
The pessimist is like the general who, before starting the first battle, has already lost the war.
this is why I don't get exited.
becuase excitement leads to disappointment.
Well at least when it's about the future.
if I'm creating something and it starts to come together I'll get exited because it's amazing
This makes it more clear now why people around me remind me not to be an optimist. Above all else, it is better to become a realist-expect nothing, and you’ll be rewarded. When you expect nothing, the world has something waiting for you. If you expect the most, tendency is you’ll get disappointed. This is something similar to what I heard from Paulo Coelho, ‘The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself.’
I think it’s pointless to anticipate the future. Best to live in the now.
When I was in jail they said to expect the worse but hope for the best. Similar to the tragic optimism
Thank you for this wonderful work you do.
Someone said that an optimist is an uninformed pessimist.
*"This life is good for those who don't know it"*. -Tales of Miletus
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I thought i was the only one crazy! i once told my sister of my dads emotionla abuse and my mum using a knife to hurt me just because her husband accused her of adultery! but she brushed it off with her fake hug saying that there are girls in worse situations and to be grateful!
If kept everything inside then they would question that it was my fault for not telling! I cant even tell my friends just because my mother has a good name in society and no one will believe me!
I encouraged her to divorce that man but she said he atleast does not drink or smoke! my sister who marreid an amercian and is so called modern said that you need to depend on him for money!
and shes an aspiring human rights lawyer! They called me neagtive for demanding a divorce but i was being practical and told her it is possible since she already has a business and many good men like my mum.
Its been 7 seven years and he still torments her! Im accpeting trolling comments on me and thats fine! cannot control the internet but i feel good sharing this.
hopefully i can share this in person to someone who is genuine to me! Thank you for sharing this and giving this opportunity to express!
Are you a Gojo Satoru fan? :)
The glass is both half full and half empty, it's called realism
Most people don't know what to do with success and money when they achieve it. They usually lose everything and are are worst off than before they started trying.
I'm 100% optimistic that this video is pessimistic.
It's different for everyone. Choose whichever side makes you happiest, or, arguably the best choice, be in the middle; be a realist. For me personally, I've just taken on the mindset that whatever happens is the best thing that could happen for/to me. If I'm going through a time of personal tranquility, then I have nothing important to learn in that moment. If I'm going through a time of anguish and hell, then there is something I need to learn or change in my life to improve it. This mindset does not work for everyone, but for me, it has reduced my anxiety to almost nothing. It's hard to be nervous when you believe what happens is the best thing to happen.
Love your videos, congrats to your channel. Optimism involves the stem optio which in Latin means that you shoud see the opportunity in everything. As far as I see it has got nothing to do with positive thinking. The original meaning of Latin or Greek words are very often narrowed down and by that loose their original sense which has multiple layers compared to our modern, dumb languages. Pessimism however means 'the worst'. As a matter of fact, in this respect, and assuming that I am right, originally they are not even the opposites of each other.
I think one needs tactical flexibility, meaning being able to move through the optimism-pessimism’s continuum, even being able to strategize taking into account different or contradictory futures potential development keeping cognitive dissonance below a threshold.
Being a realist is the best way to go