my previous video about this: • My Nonbinary Gender Ex... my blog where I talk about this: androgyneity.wordpress.com/ personal channel: / @circleatattoo
thanks, I just came out to myself as non binary today. it is kind of scary to think about the future and I just found your CZcams channel thanks a lot.
Damn, I literally just realized yesterday that I'm actually nonbinary after identifying as male for a little bit since it seemed so much "easier" (after initially identifying as nb). So I relate to this a lot.
When you said that whenever you would look at yourself, your physical appearance, you didn't feel like you recognized yourself." I was like "that's exactly how I have felt my entire life. Like I was living in a stranger's body!
Hey I'm biologically female and have been feeling very confused lately with my gender identity. I have watched CZcams vids about non-binary and I feel like it fits with how I feel but I appear more feminine to others do you have any advise for "looking" more neutral?? (I have told 3 friends of my non-binary feelings)
I wish the hell I'd found this video before I turned 36. :( I've never known WHAT the hell I am and I sriously almost did the same thing you did. Like I was literally a DAY a way from trying to explain to my wife that I am f to m transgendered for a lack of friggin language skills. Seriously. I didn't even know there were labels for what I am. I know I am not male and not female but I feel like both. I know I don't want bottom surgery. I'd be comfortable most with top surgery, but I doubt my wife would be okay with it. I'm not really in a healthy enough position for surgery anyway, but that gave me a starting point for how I identify internally at least. Until this moment, I figured I must be f to m transgendered. After this video, I found others. Agender, genderfluid, nonbinary, genderqueer... All new terms for me. Not only that, but my wife once told me she feels like she doesn't have a gender, but she doesn't know what she is either. Agender or nonbinary works for her as well. I identify more with being genderfluid, but holy COW thank you so much!
One day gender wont be an issue, people will be who they want to be. Until then brave people have to struggle for their happiness and happiness of others.
+Dex I can see you are determined to remain ignorant, in which case I pity you and your close-minded view on the world. In any case if you haven't anything nice to say it's probably best not to watch videos that aren't in your interest.
+Dex I never understood how these bigots just happen to land on these videos and spread their h8. like if you're actively searching for these videos just to belittle people then you have some real issues friend. I'm not judging you but mayb take a closer look at where these needlessly negative emotions are coming from. on the other hand, maybe you're seeking out people like us for acceptance because maybe youre not so comfortable with yout identity. in which case, we accept and love you friend. it's okay not to be a cookie cutter replica of whatever socially constructed image you have in your head.
Dex bro get a dictionary or would you like me to throw one in your face. And it is quite common for majority of society (which you clearly are brainwashed by) to mix up terms and a very popular one is Health and disease BUT this wonderful creator of this video is actually using correct terminology unlike you. Now go find a dictionary you bigoted imp and educate yourself.
1. im not a faggot... 2. fuck off of what... your mum... your "bitch".... 3. i never said i was special 4. Don't make assumptions on whether im non-binary or not just because i support it. 5. congratulations you used the right "you're"
Dex Sex/gender isn't a thing. Sex and gender are two separate things. Sex is biology. Non negotiable, yes. Gender is the role you play because of that sex. And yes we made that up.
this is exactly how i'm feeling right now. you've just explained everything to me. i'm really at a point now though where i'm terrified to make a change. i'm currently living as ftm and came out about 2 years ago but i feel exactly the same as you and i was looking for a solution to how i felt and you've explained it to me. spot on.
I want to say thank you because I appreciate your advocacy work so much! It's really helped me to hear about your experiences and realize that being nonbinary is possible. You've made a difference in my life and I'm sure other people's as well. :)
Im a female, but I want really short hair, IM DYING FOR A BINDER, and I just dont know. I want to dress as a guy, But still want to feel pretty sometimes... Does this make me something, or am I just being stupid?
+Camron Guenter No it doesn't make you anything special, I mean everyone is valid. You don't have to be a feminine woman to be valid. masculine girls are valid, feminine boys are valid, feminine agender, androgynous girl...etc all are valid ! Don't change the way you dress just because you want to pass in society but be yourself. :)
Hey there, (: thank you so much for making this video! I started getting into the whole non-binary thing through veganism>feminism>LGBT+ & the more I read and learn about it, the more I'm starting to question my own identity. When I learned that gender is basically just this idea or rule that our society made up, just another box to put us in, to categorize & control us, it absolutely blew my mind. Having identified as female my whole life it actually send me into a small existential crisis until I became so overwhelmed I just kind of dropped it & stepped away from it. But it still never really went away and the more I learn about gender identities the less comfortable I feel being 100% female, so to say. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure this out, but I feel like you talking about this definitely helped me see a bit more clearly in this chaos in my head, so thank you! I hope you are well, Sending you all the love! 💚
I'm honestly afraid to come out to most people as genderqueer/ non binary. I usually just tell certain people that I just identitfy as a guy to avoid questions and having to explain it. Also afraid that they won't take me seriously because we're stereotyped as tumblr feminists
IncognitoUser don't come out until you feel ready to do so. ^^ you have plenty of time to think about it and prepare for it. I have the same issue, I'm out to my friends and family (family doesn't use pronouns though) but not to my school or anyone else, so I'm also afraid. But wait until you're ready, you'll know when you'll be. ^^
This is almost exactly how my "gender journey" as I call it, has gone... except I'm not out publicly because it would hurt my family and I just can't do that..
Finley Rey I felt this deep in my soul. I know my mom would accept me she already calls me her son without me even being out, but I’m at the point where I need to accept myself first before I go telling others. It’s hard.
That happened to me too!!!! I went too far on the masculine side cus I wasn't (still am not) taken seriously as non binary, but then I didn't recognize myself and even my girlfriend didn't recognize me as well. So now I'm searching more for what I LIKE to wear and who I AM and not how others perceive me. I don't have the phycological strength to advocate everyday of my life, but I don't care how people I don't know perceive me anymore (at least not as much) as long as the ones who love me respect me for who I am
Thank you. You help more than I think you realize. You’re an amazing person and just thank you this totally validates how I feel and makes me feel less alone so just thank you so much
Thank you. I really needed this video. :) I'm so sick of people acting like using they pronouns is so difficult. I've even had people whine about how "complicated" it is. I always want to tell them to try living it...
Thanks for this video Lane. You've been a huge inspiration for me in starting my own CZcams channel about my narrative as a non-binary musician, and an inspiration for me to start being an advocate and activist in the Tacoma area.
I'm 29, almost 30 and disabled, and in the past three years, I have to come to realize how indoctrinated I've been about gender identity. I've never been comfortable to be among men and boys because I've always been pushed to be something I never could relate too. I thought I had to be male and just live and perform something I felt was artificial. I'm still in the process of learning my gender identity but I see that I was gendered male without understanding what maleness means.
wow this was really eye opening. I have struggled for a while to understand about other gender identities but hearing the story from their point of view finally helped me grasp the subject a little more. I myself am just a cis female but sometimes I like dressing masculine because I can, plus clothes have no gender and I am comfortable with wearing pm anything lol. And so I should, people can wear whatever the heck they want and it's the same for makeup as well. but anyway,thanks for making this video and it's awesome what you are doing for the genderqueer community and for others as well! Stay fabulous!
Literally searching through CZcams to try and find a word to fit my gender. At first I though maybe I was genderfluid, then I explore some more, and settled on FtM, but I really never experienced dysphoria and felt masculine but I've realized lately that I don't really feel trapped in my own body and so here I am on New Years searching through CZcams, well I'm just gonna hope this goes well : /
+Yuno Zoldyck (this is Z replying, btw, since Lane isn't a member anymore) it IS really confusing! and it may take you a while to find an identity that fits you. but you should know that feeling trapped in your own body isn't a requirement to be FtM, and neither is having dysphoria. some people think those are requirements to be a trans guy or trans in general, because a large majority of trans people DO have dysphoria and feel trapped in their bodies, so there is confusion. but its not part of the definition of being trans, or a requirement. theres a lot of different explanations and debates on the topic, if you dont understand and want to know more tell me and i can point you to some. so those things dont mean you're not FtM. but you might be something else still. it might help to watch our playlists on similar topics, to hear about how people describe a variety of identities and how we feel about our own questioning processes. we've done a week where we talk about how we define our own gender (week 71), labels (week 57), and the different genders out there (week 18). i personally had/have a long and slowly meandering questioning process in figuring out what my gender identity was. i have it maybe 90% pinned down now, but my videos throughout the past year and a half partially document how the process went for me. if you're interested you could check those out, or not, just know i get how you're feeling and its really frustrating. good luck on your search, and remember to listen to different definitions of genders from different people, because when identities are well known enough to be widespread but still taboo like trans identities are, there will be people who tell you that you couldn't possibly be ____ because you don't have a certain condition, and sometimes they're wrong, and it can cause you a lot of confusion! so use logic and listen to different points of view when theres confusion. good luck! (if you wanna talk to any member, our contact info should be on our personal channels or tumblrs.) (wow this was long!) -Z
this helped me so so much, wow. I've never found someone with such a similar experience as me. I've been thinking about how I'm nonbinary for a while now, but I felt exactly the same way about knowing that I would have to be an advocate my whole life. you made me realize how selfish it is to not educate people about this stuff, because people in the future are going to need acceptance too. thank you so much!!
Amazing video. Thanks so much for posting it. As an older millennial, that really takes me back and reminded me of how different things were back then.
I found out I was nonbinary when I was 16, came out just recently at 17 to my family and friends. I'm hoping to come out this year, my senior year of high school, to my school and my teachers. My friends support me and for the most part, they try to use my 'they/them' pronouns. My family doesn't use them at all but they let me dress how I want for the most part, I guess. Thank you for this video. ^^ I've been really questioning if I was really trans or not, I'm agender but I prefer masculinity over femininity. This really makes me feel better with my gender identity, reminding me that I'm not as alone as it seems. I love your videos and your blog. ^v^
thank you for sharing :D i know its a phrase ruined by its superficial overuse, but i do think all your steps todawards self-authenticity took bravery, and your persistence will absolutely make a difference in the lives of the nb children of the future and the safety and comfort they deserve
is it possible to be nonbinary however still have your gender expression in line with your biological gender? this wasn't always the case for me since there was a time I felt more comfortable wearing my brother's clothes and trying to talk in a lower voice. I like wearing dresses and skirts but prefer to live in a way that most people would see wither as masculine or gender neutral. so, still not sure if I fit as nonbinary but I don't feel completely female and have no desire to change my body. so, i'm not sure if it's so much my gender identity or just a discomfort with social norms. btw, do you have any dating advice for nonbinary or do you identify as asexual?
of course!! you can express yourself however you want to! gender expression doesn't mean gender. you can express yourself in a very traditionally feminine or masculine way even tho you're nonbinary.
Yeah. Gender expression doesnt have to match your gender identity. Im nonbinary and biologically female. My issue is how do I look masculine when I do chose to wear feminine or any clothes lol.
I have heard of genderqueer before, but I never really knew what it meant. I've been wondering for a while actually if there's a term for someone who feels like a boy and a girl at the same time, so when you described it like that I was like, "oh, so that's what genderqueer is? That sounds kinda like me!" I'm going to do some more research on the term; thank you for deciding to live the way you feel most comfortable and being an advocate. I might not have ever understood the term gebderqueer and decided to explore it for myself if not for this video. 💜⚪️💚
Lately I’ve been questioning my gender (identity?) and I’ve always felt as if my body was not my own despite being born female. I’d never recognize myself in the mirror and always felt off about my looks. I don’t like being called a male. But I’m not 💯% uncomfortable with being considered female. But a lot of it makes me uncomfortable. So due to this, I’m thinking I may be more along the lines of a Non-Binary now.
I remember going to a trans support group about 15 years ago when I was first coming out to friends and realizing that I didn't quite fit into a cis or a trans world. It was a very different time back then, and we just didn't have the vocabulary that we do now. I spent years wading through both accusations and well-intended mislabeling, and I'm so thrilled now to see a younger generation having access to more knowledge and communication. It's by no means easy for "kids these days", but I see so many younger people having the tools to express themselves and their identities.
Hi EarthDotSphere! I'm PaulThePow, a member of this channel. Can I read your comment aloud on screen in an upcoming episode? Would you ever be interested in recording an interview? Let me know. I value your opinion and cherish your stories. ~ Pow
Hi! Yes and yes! And thank you! I'm not quite sure how this whole youtube thing works yet, but if you need my contact info in any manner, just let me know.
thank you so much for this video. I've been questioning my gender for so many years. This year i came out as nonbinary female. I never knew there was a word for someone who is both enby and female or that it was possible. I've described myself as genderfluid, gnc, but i never used non binary because i felt that the definition never truly fit me. Yesterday I tried googling nonbinary female and came up with zero resources at all. I would love to see that change in the future, I dont want to have to explain my gender to people. I just want to exist.
I've recently realized I'm non- binary, do you have any advice ? I find that as far as pronouns go , I don't really care very much because I'm often in- between. So female , male or they/them ... whatever people call me I'm not bothered at the moment. I'm currently living as female
Just do ehat nakes you happy you can present as female use any pronounce and still be NB,you can use binder and they them pronounce and present androgynous or manly .. you decide who you are
I have a question, most of the time I don't feel male or female yet sometimes just sometimes I do. Am I non-binary? because I've been reading so many thins about it but I just don't understand it.
I really don't care about what pronouns people us for me because sometimes I want her/she and sometimes him/he but I would rather people call me they/them because it is more comfortable. And my other non-binary friend told people to us they/them pronouns and no one does other than me and it make me really upset even their girlfriend says she and calls them her girlfriend and a lesbian. It bothers me so much that people don't respect their pronouns.
Great to hear a personal story, Wayne. As more and more cisgender people get to know us, so our lives improve. A new title, Mx, was recently added to the Oxford Dictionary online version. That's alongside Mrs, Miss, Mr & Ms. I've been using Mx or Mix for myself constantly since 2002. See my blog at www.mixmargaret.com/blog or my CZcams video "New Mx title now in OED." Love the phrase 'non-binary full-time.' You're right to be concerned about being forever an advocate, I was caught up in that for many years. But it is possible to take another direction later on.
I identify as Pangender... is that non binary? I constantly feel like different genders; sometimes all at once as well as separately. It's confusing but I am not confused in the slightest. Just want to know if Pangendered people are non binary? (Pangender is the experience of all genders within ones cultural and ethnic background). Thank you! :)
I truly feel i am nonbinary but my own trans uncle and my mother are saying i'm not, that I shouldn't go on T and it's so frustrating! they won't use my pronouns either, any advice?
try to maybe show them videos like this and make them understand that there's a whole vast community of nonb people. they should understand that gender is not a simple thing it's a complicated spectrum. im nonbinary myself and luckily in my language there are no gendered pronouns but i don't respond to my deadname or to wrong pronouns. if someone uses them i act like i hadn't even heard my name called because it's not my name. the pronouns thing is tricky.. luckily there are a lot of people who do understand and accept you! i wish you all the luck!
This is so unrelated but what is your ethnicity? I'm adopted and I don't know what my biological ethnicity and we have a lot of the same features. Stuff that would be linked through ethnicity. I'll probably do a DNA test but I'm still curious and it would still be a nice little synapse in my analysis of this I guess.
The more I think about it I think I identify as being between male and female. But I'm not into cross dressing. I'm still exploring this. I never really thought about being anything but male until quite recently. I know I'm not transgender m to f but I know that if given the choice I would be both male and female.
my biological sex is female and I'm 13 and I'm girly, I like makeup, hair, and fashion but I also really like to shop in the men's section for clothes and some days I really just want to dress and act like a boy but i still feel a little feminine. I don't know if I'm non-binary or if I'm just confused. I have no idea what I want to identify as...
+Rafaella Galvez it depends also if you're comfortable with your body. You could just be a cis person that has their own gender expression and chooses not to conform to gender roles. And also trust your instinct and gut feeling.
I'd say you're just a girl like 99 percent of the population, that's statistically the most likely. engaging in activities that are traditionally associated with the opposite gender doesn't change your biology, (which includes your mind, where your "gender" identity exists). You don't NEED to put a label on yourself, just be you. Don't buy into this gender bullshit, you're only making the fascists stronger.
no. you are calling this person who they are not wished to be called. let me ask you a question, do you still call someone like Caitlyn Jenner (for example) a he? because she is a transgender and a male is what she was born as?
What do you mean "pick"? What is a female and a male and how do you know you aren't them? What is "masculine" and what is "feminine"? You realize the way you talk, walk, clothes have absolutely nothing to do with sex.
thanks, I just came out to myself as non binary today. it is kind of scary to think about the future and I just found your CZcams channel thanks a lot.
Damn, I literally just realized yesterday that I'm actually nonbinary after identifying as male for a little bit since it seemed so much "easier" (after initially identifying as nb). So I relate to this a lot.
I just started wearing a binder and my chest looks completely flat. I'm so happy! I'm finally starting to look like the person I was supposed to be.
Hahahah!
When you said that whenever you would look at yourself, your physical appearance, you didn't feel like you recognized yourself." I was like "that's exactly how I have felt my entire life. Like I was living in a stranger's body!
Hey I'm biologically female and have been feeling very confused lately with my gender identity. I have watched CZcams vids about non-binary and I feel like it fits with how I feel but I appear more feminine to others do you have any advise for "looking" more neutral?? (I have told 3 friends of my non-binary feelings)
I wish the hell I'd found this video before I turned 36. :( I've never known WHAT the hell I am and I sriously almost did the same thing you did. Like I was literally a DAY a way from trying to explain to my wife that I am f to m transgendered for a lack of friggin language skills. Seriously. I didn't even know there were labels for what I am. I know I am not male and not female but I feel like both. I know I don't want bottom surgery. I'd be comfortable most with top surgery, but I doubt my wife would be okay with it. I'm not really in a healthy enough position for surgery anyway, but that gave me a starting point for how I identify internally at least. Until this moment, I figured I must be f to m transgendered. After this video, I found others. Agender, genderfluid, nonbinary, genderqueer... All new terms for me. Not only that, but my wife once told me she feels like she doesn't have a gender, but she doesn't know what she is either. Agender or nonbinary works for her as well. I identify more with being genderfluid, but holy COW thank you so much!
Sounds like an identity disorder rather than a gender thing. Why do you want to label yourself? Why not be original?
One day gender wont be an issue, people will be who they want to be. Until then brave people have to struggle for their happiness and happiness of others.
+Dex I can see you are determined to remain ignorant, in which case I pity you and your close-minded view on the world. In any case if you haven't anything nice to say it's probably best not to watch videos that aren't in your interest.
+Dex I never understood how these bigots just happen to land on these videos and spread their h8. like if you're actively searching for these videos just to belittle people then you have some real issues friend. I'm not judging you but mayb take a closer look at where these needlessly negative emotions are coming from. on the other hand, maybe you're seeking out people like us for acceptance because maybe youre not so comfortable with yout identity. in which case, we accept and love you friend. it's okay not to be a cookie cutter replica of whatever socially constructed image you have in your head.
Dex bro get a dictionary or would you like me to throw one in your face. And it is quite common for majority of society (which you clearly are brainwashed by) to mix up terms and a very popular one is Health and disease BUT this wonderful creator of this video is actually using correct terminology unlike you. Now go find a dictionary you bigoted imp and educate yourself.
1. im not a faggot...
2. fuck off of what... your mum... your "bitch"....
3. i never said i was special
4. Don't make assumptions on whether im non-binary or not just because i support it.
5. congratulations you used the right "you're"
Dex Sex/gender isn't a thing. Sex and gender are two separate things. Sex is biology. Non negotiable, yes. Gender is the role you play because of that sex. And yes we made that up.
this is exactly how i'm feeling right now. you've just explained everything to me. i'm really at a point now though where i'm terrified to make a change. i'm currently living as ftm and came out about 2 years ago but i feel exactly the same as you and i was looking for a solution to how i felt and you've explained it to me. spot on.
I want to say thank you because I appreciate your advocacy work so much! It's really helped me to hear about your experiences and realize that being nonbinary is possible. You've made a difference in my life and I'm sure other people's as well. :)
Im a female, but I want really short hair, IM DYING FOR A BINDER, and I just dont know. I want to dress as a guy, But still want to feel pretty sometimes... Does this make me something, or am I just being stupid?
+Camron Guenter No it doesn't make you anything special, I mean everyone is valid. You don't have to be a feminine woman to be valid. masculine girls are valid, feminine boys are valid, feminine agender, androgynous girl...etc all are valid ! Don't change the way you dress just because you want to pass in society but be yourself.
:)
That's basically my life
Thank you so much for this. I'm a non-binary teen and you're honestly just a huge inspiration to me.
thank you! you gave meaning to something i allways knew about me but didn't really know what it was! you changed my life!!!
Hey there, (:
thank you so much for making this video!
I started getting into the whole non-binary thing through veganism>feminism>LGBT+ & the more I read and learn about it, the more I'm starting to question my own identity.
When I learned that gender is basically just this idea or rule that our society made up, just another box to put us in, to categorize & control us, it absolutely blew my mind.
Having identified as female my whole life it actually send me into a small existential crisis until I became so overwhelmed I just kind of dropped it & stepped away from it.
But it still never really went away and the more I learn about gender identities the less comfortable I feel being 100% female, so to say.
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure this out, but I feel like you talking about this definitely helped me see a bit more clearly in this chaos in my head, so thank you!
I hope you are well,
Sending you all the love! 💚
I'm honestly afraid to come out to most people as genderqueer/ non binary. I usually just tell certain people that I just identitfy as a guy to avoid questions and having to explain it. Also afraid that they won't take me seriously because we're stereotyped as tumblr feminists
IncognitoUser don't come out until you feel ready to do so. ^^ you have plenty of time to think about it and prepare for it. I have the same issue, I'm out to my friends and family (family doesn't use pronouns though) but not to my school or anyone else, so I'm also afraid. But wait until you're ready, you'll know when you'll be. ^^
That's because youre a guy
This is almost exactly how my "gender journey" as I call it, has gone... except I'm not out publicly because it would hurt my family and I just can't do that..
Finley Rey I felt this deep in my soul. I know my mom would accept me she already calls me her son without me even being out, but I’m at the point where I need to accept myself first before I go telling others. It’s hard.
That happened to me too!!!! I went too far on the masculine side cus I wasn't (still am not) taken seriously as non binary, but then I didn't recognize myself and even my girlfriend didn't recognize me as well. So now I'm searching more for what I LIKE to wear and who I AM and not how others perceive me. I don't have the phycological strength to advocate everyday of my life, but I don't care how people I don't know perceive me anymore (at least not as much) as long as the ones who love me respect me for who I am
Thank you. You help more than I think you realize. You’re an amazing person and just thank you this totally validates how I feel and makes me feel less alone so just thank you so much
I felt less alone after this too. I love your username!
You're incredibly informative and awesome. Thank you so much :)
Thank you. I really needed this video. :) I'm so sick of people acting like using they pronouns is so difficult. I've even had people whine about how "complicated" it is. I always want to tell them to try living it...
Thanks for this video Lane. You've been a huge inspiration for me in starting my own CZcams channel about my narrative as a non-binary musician, and an inspiration for me to start being an advocate and activist in the Tacoma area.
Thank you for this video. Also the french subtitles are very welcome.
I'm 29, almost 30 and disabled, and in the past three years, I have to come to realize how indoctrinated I've been about gender identity. I've never been comfortable to be among men and boys because I've always been pushed to be something I never could relate too. I thought I had to be male and just live and perform something I felt was artificial.
I'm still in the process of learning my gender identity but I see that I was gendered male without understanding what maleness means.
Thank you so much! You are an inspiration. I feel the same as you and you just put words to my feelings. Thanks beautiful person :)
I have been learning a lot from your videos and everything is so helpful thank you
How are you doing now?
wow this was really eye opening.
I have struggled for a while to understand about other gender identities but hearing the story from their point of view finally helped me grasp the subject a little more.
I myself am just a cis female but sometimes I like dressing masculine because I can, plus clothes have no gender and I am comfortable with wearing pm anything lol. And so I should, people can wear whatever the heck they want and it's the same for makeup as well.
but anyway,thanks for making this video and it's awesome what you are doing for the genderqueer community and for others as well!
Stay fabulous!
Needed to hear this!
Literally searching through CZcams to try and find a word to fit my gender. At first I though maybe I was genderfluid, then I explore some more, and settled on FtM, but I really never experienced dysphoria and felt masculine but I've realized lately that I don't really feel trapped in my own body and so here I am on New Years searching through CZcams, well I'm just gonna hope this goes well : /
Like I still do feel uncomfortable in my female body and idk gender is fucking confusing help me
+Yuno Zoldyck (this is Z replying, btw, since Lane isn't a member anymore)
it IS really confusing! and it may take you a while to find an identity that fits you. but you should know that feeling trapped in your own body isn't a requirement to be FtM, and neither is having dysphoria. some people think those are requirements to be a trans guy or trans in general, because a large majority of trans people DO have dysphoria and feel trapped in their bodies, so there is confusion. but its not part of the definition of being trans, or a requirement. theres a lot of different explanations and debates on the topic, if you dont understand and want to know more tell me and i can point you to some. so those things dont mean you're not FtM. but you might be something else still.
it might help to watch our playlists on similar topics, to hear about how people describe a variety of identities and how we feel about our own questioning processes. we've done a week where we talk about how we define our own gender (week 71), labels (week 57), and the different genders out there (week 18).
i personally had/have a long and slowly meandering questioning process in figuring out what my gender identity was. i have it maybe 90% pinned down now, but my videos throughout the past year and a half partially document how the process went for me. if you're interested you could check those out, or not, just know i get how you're feeling and its really frustrating. good luck on your search, and remember to listen to different definitions of genders from different people, because when identities are well known enough to be widespread but still taboo like trans identities are, there will be people who tell you that you couldn't possibly be ____ because you don't have a certain condition, and sometimes they're wrong, and it can cause you a lot of confusion! so use logic and listen to different points of view when theres confusion. good luck! (if you wanna talk to any member, our contact info should be on our personal channels or tumblrs.) (wow this was long!) -Z
+OutOfThisBinary Thank you!! I'll defiantly check those out
+Yuno Zoldyck Just invent some new gender, put a fancy name to it and then say everyone should respect your ''pronoun''.
Yuno Zoldyck you're just a more masculine girl
thank you. thank you thank you thank you so much for existing. you're precious and so magical.
this helped me so so much, wow. I've never found someone with such a similar experience as me. I've been thinking about how I'm nonbinary for a while now, but I felt exactly the same way about knowing that I would have to be an advocate my whole life. you made me realize how selfish it is to not educate people about this stuff, because people in the future are going to need acceptance too. thank you so much!!
Amazing video. Thanks so much for posting it. As an older millennial, that really takes me back and reminded me of how different things were back then.
I found out I was nonbinary when I was 16, came out just recently at 17 to my family and friends. I'm hoping to come out this year, my senior year of high school, to my school and my teachers. My friends support me and for the most part, they try to use my 'they/them' pronouns. My family doesn't use them at all but they let me dress how I want for the most part, I guess.
Thank you for this video. ^^ I've been really questioning if I was really trans or not, I'm agender but I prefer masculinity over femininity. This really makes me feel better with my gender identity, reminding me that I'm not as alone as it seems. I love your videos and your blog. ^v^
You're adorable, thank you for being so informing:)
This video is wonderful. Thank you.
this is really helpful. thank you x
I relate so hard to everything you've said. Thanks
thank you for sharing :D i know its a phrase ruined by its superficial overuse, but i do think all your steps todawards self-authenticity took bravery, and your persistence will absolutely make a difference in the lives of the nb children of the future and the safety and comfort they deserve
is it possible to be nonbinary however still have your gender expression in line with your biological gender? this wasn't always the case for me since there was a time I felt more comfortable wearing my brother's clothes and trying to talk in a lower voice. I like wearing dresses and skirts but prefer to live in a way that most people would see wither as masculine or gender neutral. so, still not sure if I fit as nonbinary but I don't feel completely female and have no desire to change my body. so, i'm not sure if it's so much my gender identity or just a discomfort with social norms. btw, do you have any dating advice for nonbinary or do you identify as asexual?
I am having the same struggle. I'm still trying to figure out my own gender identity, I hope you have better luck than I have! ♡
of course!! you can express yourself however you want to! gender expression doesn't mean gender. you can express yourself in a very traditionally feminine or masculine way even tho you're nonbinary.
Yeah. Gender expression doesnt have to match your gender identity. Im nonbinary and biologically female. My issue is how do I look masculine when I do chose to wear feminine or any clothes lol.
I have heard of genderqueer before, but I never really knew what it meant. I've been wondering for a while actually if there's a term for someone who feels like a boy and a girl at the same time, so when you described it like that I was like, "oh, so that's what genderqueer is? That sounds kinda like me!"
I'm going to do some more research on the term; thank you for deciding to live the way you feel most comfortable and being an advocate. I might not have ever understood the term gebderqueer and decided to explore it for myself if not for this video. 💜⚪️💚
Lately I’ve been questioning my gender (identity?) and I’ve always felt as if my body was not my own despite being born female.
I’d never recognize myself in the mirror and always felt off about my looks.
I don’t like being called a male.
But I’m not 💯% uncomfortable with being considered female.
But a lot of it makes me uncomfortable.
So due to this, I’m thinking I may be more along the lines of a Non-Binary now.
it was not a rant and I identify as a nonbinary person after living as a transgender female for 20 years so thank you
thank you for making this
I remember going to a trans support group about 15 years ago when I was first coming out to friends and realizing that I didn't quite fit into a cis or a trans world. It was a very different time back then, and we just didn't have the vocabulary that we do now. I spent years wading through both accusations and well-intended mislabeling, and I'm so thrilled now to see a younger generation having access to more knowledge and communication. It's by no means easy for "kids these days", but I see so many younger people having the tools to express themselves and their identities.
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Hi! Yes and yes! And thank you! I'm not quite sure how this whole youtube thing works yet, but if you need my contact info in any manner, just let me know.
thank you so much for this video. I've been questioning my gender for so many years. This year i came out as nonbinary female. I never knew there was a word for someone who is both enby and female or that it was possible. I've described myself as genderfluid, gnc, but i never used non binary because i felt that the definition never truly fit me. Yesterday I tried googling nonbinary female and came up with zero resources at all. I would love to see that change in the future, I dont want to have to explain my gender to people. I just want to exist.
I've recently realized I'm non- binary, do you have any advice ? I find that as far as pronouns go , I don't really care very much because I'm often in- between. So female , male or they/them ... whatever people call me I'm not bothered at the moment. I'm currently living as female
Just do ehat nakes you happy you can present as female use any pronounce and still be NB,you can use binder and they them pronounce and present androgynous or manly .. you decide who you are
shiiitt lane this so where i'm at right now. a life of eternal advocacy. idk if i'm up to it but yeah, worth it to be myself.
I was searching around for videos to try to better understand the non-binary perspective and this helped a lot.
Great video. Thanks.
I have a question, most of the time I don't feel male or female yet sometimes just sometimes I do. Am I non-binary? because I've been reading so many thins about it but I just don't understand it.
You may be on A gender spectrum or genderfluid
I really don't care about what pronouns people us for me because sometimes I want her/she and sometimes him/he but I would rather people call me they/them because it is more comfortable. And my other non-binary friend told people to us they/them pronouns and no one does other than me and it make me really upset even their girlfriend says she and calls them her girlfriend and a lesbian. It bothers me so much that people don't respect their pronouns.
Great to hear a personal story, Wayne. As more and more cisgender people get to know us, so our lives improve. A new title, Mx, was recently added to the Oxford Dictionary online version. That's alongside Mrs, Miss, Mr & Ms. I've been using Mx or Mix for myself constantly since 2002. See my blog at www.mixmargaret.com/blog or my CZcams video "New Mx title now in OED." Love the phrase 'non-binary full-time.' You're right to be concerned about being forever an advocate, I was caught up in that for many years. But it is possible to take another direction later on.
I identify as Pangender... is that non binary? I constantly feel like different genders; sometimes all at once as well as separately. It's confusing but I am not confused in the slightest. Just want to know if Pangendered people are non binary? (Pangender is the experience of all genders within ones cultural and ethnic background). Thank you! :)
pangender is a gender out of the binary (girl and boy) so yes it is a nonbinary gender!
Very cool!
I truly feel i am nonbinary but my own trans uncle and my mother are saying i'm not, that I shouldn't go on T and it's so frustrating! they won't use my pronouns either, any advice?
try to maybe show them videos like this and make them understand that there's a whole vast community of nonb people. they should understand that gender is not a simple thing it's a complicated spectrum. im nonbinary myself and luckily in my language there are no gendered pronouns but i don't respond to my deadname or to wrong pronouns. if someone uses them i act like i hadn't even heard my name called because it's not my name. the pronouns thing is tricky.. luckily there are a lot of people who do understand and accept you! i wish you all the luck!
This is so unrelated but what is your ethnicity? I'm adopted and I don't know what my biological ethnicity and we have a lot of the same features. Stuff that would be linked through ethnicity. I'll probably do a DNA test but I'm still curious and it would still be a nice little synapse in my analysis of this I guess.
Lane is White
OutOfThisBinary i mean like ethnicity/nationality.
The more I think about it I think I identify as being between male and female. But I'm not into cross dressing. I'm still exploring this. I never really thought about being anything but male until quite recently. I know I'm not transgender m to f but I know that if given the choice I would be both male and female.
my biological sex is female and I'm 13 and I'm girly, I like makeup, hair, and fashion but I also really like to shop in the men's section for clothes and some days I really just want to dress and act like a boy but i still feel a little feminine. I don't know if I'm non-binary or if I'm just confused. I have no idea what I want to identify as...
Rafaella Galvez gender is a huge spectrum! you can be feminine and still be non-binary
+Rafaella Galvez it depends also if you're comfortable with your body. You could just be a cis person that has their own gender expression and chooses not to conform to gender roles. And also trust your instinct and gut feeling.
gender dysphoria is not required to be nonbinary or trans. please do not listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.
It honestly boils down to the individual and they identify themselves. No one can shove a finger in your face and assume your gender identity for you.
I'd say you're just a girl like 99 percent of the population, that's statistically the most likely. engaging in activities that are traditionally associated with the opposite gender doesn't change your biology, (which includes your mind, where your "gender" identity exists). You don't NEED to put a label on yourself, just be you.
Don't buy into this gender bullshit, you're only making the fascists stronger.
EXACTLY. Wow.
Yess thank you
I know it’s been 4 years but us two nb’s have the same name!!!!
How long can one person talk about themselves?
okay but i clicked on this video and i instantly just think "oh hey they're cute"
non-binary...which means the person is not a "guy", but a "they/them"
i think you should leave.
no. you are calling this person who they are not wished to be called. let me ask you a question, do you still call someone like Caitlyn Jenner (for example) a he? because she is a transgender and a male is what she was born as?
omg you are a terrible person
We have a lot of simmilarities regarding our gender journey. Interesting.
What do you mean "pick"? What is a female and a male and how do you know you aren't them? What is "masculine" and what is "feminine"? You realize the way you talk, walk, clothes have absolutely nothing to do with sex.
It's a sense of inner self. The person making the video explains there non binary experience perfectly.
So the LGBT is dissatisfied with male and female so it creates a whole lot of new box(es) that suggestable people are now frantically trying to fit in
Your only real issue is self obsession, you really need to stop expecting other people to respect your cognitive dissonance,
>Clicks on personal experience blog video
>Upset it's only about the experience of the person
Truly astonishing.
I’m a dude. There’s only 2 genders.
It sounds like you have all these imaginary forces that you fear.