THIS WILL END WELL. Blue Therapy for Paul & Chioma
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- čas přidán 10. 05. 2021
- Original video --- • BLUE THERAPY: EPISODE ...
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Old married woman advice - I've been with my husband since I was 17, he was 20. We moved in after 2 yrs; during college. We married after college grad.(5 yrs together). Traveled, bought a house etc. After 14 yrs together we had our son. Then 17 yrs together we had our daughter. What did we do before we moved in together as 19 & 22 yr old college students? Had many long conversations about expectations regarding marriage, careers, kids, religion, morals, possible accidental pregnancy, houses, cities, travel, politics. Yes, we talked about those topics with varying degrees of seriousness & increased introspection as our relationship grew the first 2 yrs. These discussions NEED to happen BEFORE you permanently commit. They need to be discussed continually as you grow and change as a couple.
❤❤❤ Beautiful
Pin of acknowledgment 👍🏿
SHEEeeessshhh
I'm not even married and I know that, people just want to get married status but don't to the work to form a good basis. The stage before marriage isn't just to have fun, it's also for you get to know each other and see if you're a match. Love isn't everything, and love dies very quickly if you don't have a well structure relationship
@@justsaying8358 SHEEeeessshhh
HOT TAKE: People need to start valuing privacy again.
They clearly didnt want to pay for this session in private, which I'm sure the therapist would've offered.
Ahh yes. The pre facebook days. I think though it speaks to the desire for attention and clout and how thats morphed over generations.
Before people probably wanted a certain career as a pathway to a legacy. Now social media is their cheat code. Their gameshark.
Yes!
But if you are on any form of social media you kinda giving up your privacy...
Yes, value value
He's not high value, he's reckless with money. She's well within her right to say she wants some balance
Lmaooo according to the blue therapy aftermath he actually has no money..... Soo way past reckless
@@ksazobafit....2216 that’s what I was saying! Couldn’t believe that A&P could not see past his BS’ing 🙄
Yeah but she is annoying as fuck and it is depressing that some women become this way when you just act passive around them. She can leave! There is the door.
@@notrealy180217 are you slow?
@@notrealy180217 Are you messing around or stupid? Do you find normal for anyone to do 100% of the housework and pay 60% of the house bills?
Marriage is about compromise. If you go through life saying “This is who I am, take it or leave it” then you are a child. All she is asking for when you boil it down is for him to spend some time with her and show her affection. She has taken on household duties and resents him because she feels like she has compromised and he hasn’t.
I agree with your assessment
Absolutely
Exactly
Negative
They are not married. It’s a bf/gf situation.
He is darksin, black dude and bald? Definitely a villain in a Tyler Perry movie😂
@@anesupasipanodya 🤣🤣
LOOL GTFO
You forgot to mention the big beard
@@richiez132 the f-boy beard 😂
Why is that so painfully accurate?😂😂😂
I love how Paul basically implies that the therapist is hustling them. But when the therapist asks what he does for a living he basically implies he's a hustler.
Takes one to know one 😂😂😂
And that’s how it generally goes.
Shifty people assume most others are just as shifty as them.
Projection 101👏✨😂
@@queenjohnson5097 Truth.
@@3nthamornin Thanks for sharing.
Funny how it turned out they split everything 60/40 and he is actually in a lot of debt. This whole money issue got a whole new level. Also, they used to celebrate TOGETHER, where she gets the love and share things with him and now, he just celebrates with his men.
I think her absolute biggest problem is that she is being completely neglected of love and physical touch. He was looking for a gorgeous woman on his arm that makes him look good and works the home. She is not happy with the money and the bags and such alone. She wants to be WITH him.
Exactly
It's fake. It's all acted
This lady is totally reasonable and he’s just completely ignoring what she wants from her life.
She needs to leave period.
Bullshit she disrespect him multiple times.
Really? My impression was that she wants to _have_ her cake and _eat_ it too, and that before they begin to really talk about their options, she needs to figure out where she stands between the two currently incompatible wants.
@@LiliS319 naaaah bruh he is a narcissist
@@athenasuperheldin1017 I guess so, but my point is that if he were less ambitious, if he brought less money home, took less risks, all for the benefit of spending more time together, she wouldn't even be into him anymore. She's lying to herself.
Deflection 101: When in a tight spot, start an argument with the therapist.
In the dog training world they call that "displacement aggression". Dogs that cant take out their aggression on their intended target lash out at the nearest vulnerable victim. :]
@@TheAgentmigs right on! In human psych they teach is a lot of human behavior through animal behavior lol
"Who is you?!!!"
@@3nthamornin lol everything on CZcams staged
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the way he was snapping at the therapist...deflecting the whole time and blaming other people. this man has a lot more problems than his relationship LOL
Dude is a complete loss as a person and can't even answer simple questions. And Chloma only tolerates his bs because of the commas in the bank account.
@@killerra which means she's only in it for the money. Definitely a "healthy" relationship lmao
@@kush7138 I mean she literally can't even stand to listen to dude speak, I do believe she wants it to be better but she has to realize he is fucked without years of therapy and is a brick wall. Women leave the lost cause unless they have no upgrades in sight, and the Mercedes says she is STUCK.
Get out now...
Tf but she wanted to go on television yet the man is horrible that’s crazzzzzy
Been telling people for years; the easiest way to get disappointed is to have UNSPOKEN expectations.
Just wanted to update because I can’t let Chioma go out like that: there was an “aftermath” special where everyone sat and down and gave tea/updated the viewers. Turns out: Chioma was paying 60% of the bills and Paul was actually in a lot of debt.
From her account, he made it seem like he had money tucked away, but actually didn’t. So (in hindsight) I think she has every right to be frustrated that she’s doing all the housework if she’s paying the majority of the bills.
Don’t be deceived by these “high value men”
Edit: it’s all acting though, just wanted everyone to deep that lol
Oh wow, well that changes everything. 😳
How he reacted when asked what he did for a living gave away that he was likely shiesty.
Even if it's acting, these are still good topics to view and discuss
Exactly. That’s why she was so upset. It’s not emasculating to tell the truth.
if SHE Was carrying HIM? Then He is FULL OF IT! I worked. in media for nearly 20 years. theres PLENTY of fakers out there!
My dude really doesn't want the feds to know where that money comes from 😂
😭😭😭
“You know the feds listening... Nigga, what money?”
That's exactly what I was thinking! 🤣🤣🤣
Pretty sure he mentioned crypto as well😂😂. Makes it even more sus
😂😂
Police: Sir, can I see your licence and registration?
Paul: I drive cars. I go places. 😐
🤣🤣😂🥴
This made me laugh....
Thank you 💙💜💖💛💚💗
Lmaoo
lmao!
Haha 🤣
Therapist: "When was the last time you did something kind for one another?"
Paul: "Oh no, you're not going to turn us against each other..."
If doing something kind creates animosity in your mind you have issues, if you think the question will create animosity you might want to be kind more often.
Them Narcissist are on high alert ALWAYS! ;)
Nah, it’s not the doing something kind he had issues with, it’s the when was the last time, because if I had to guess it was a very long time. So bringing that up only gives her more things to think about.
The problem with the question is it turns relationships into a tit for tat ship. When you're keeping count or dates of when you do something for your spouse, you are actually showing selfishness. A spouse should do for the other when they feel without the thought of time. When you have a hundred requests it is hard to keep up with all of them in a timely manner. Sometimes you may go a week or two without doing something nice but then have a whole week of kind. So when someone ask you when was the last time someone did something kind, it sets up a who does more scenario. And instead of going down the rabbit hole, he just cut to the chase. I would have taken another route but I see where he is coming from.
@@kevonwalker82 If you can even count thats the problem not a tit for tat
This sis wants passion. He doesn't have enough depth to him basically. He's not present in the relationship basically.
100. Neither of them is a terrible person. He's not the man for Chioma, and, frankly, I don't think he cares about being with any specific woman as long as she's compliant and willing to take on all domestic responsibilities. I also think he has some unresolved issues surrounding his history of depression and identity. (I watched the whole original session.)
I don't even think he is attracted to her anymore. She should leave asap
@@huldah1605 no she changed he stayed the same and she wants him to change but he can’t atm it’s u fortunate
@@himagain4274 Ummm that's not true though. She never changed but he did. He used to cook, go on dates and sex was not a issue until they moved in together.
Agreed he’s not present so she is bringing up the finances and the finances are not really problem
He wants to go to church so that the pastor can preach to chioma 😂😂😂😂 and try to convince her to become a housewife
Yuuup this is what some African peaple try to do. They link up with their pastor to convince their parter to accept the nonsense.
African men smh
@@ashleycrystal9719 not just men womens do it too
@@a.g3322 Yeah African women can be the biggest pick me’s
@@a.g3322 downvotes dont show up anymore.
What kind of business do you do?
1. I'm a provider
2. I make money. Loool
Lol imagine his resume
Is he club promoter 😭😭😭
@@jeremiahdavis3398 he’s a personal trainer lol
Na he is in a pyramid scheme
@@ValerieAbena Exactly!!! The helll. It's soooo easy to see.
14:30
It is not unreasonable to expect him to do home labor, because as she said, he was doing all of his own home labor comfortably before she stepped into the picture. And now he expects her to do it all for him. Basically, he wants a servant, and she wants to participate in the world.
A house wife isn't a servant you trippin they just not on the same page both been waiting for the other to change
She just needs some love and attention. That's all she's asking for.
completely agree
She’s not saying he don’t spend on her. She’s saying he’s not around and when he is, there is no sex, romance nothing.
Paul really thinks he is smarter than he is ... It's embarrassing
That's a realisation i had after reading this comment. Anybody that snaps fingers like that while failing to understand the whole purpose of why they are here is definitely over valuing themselves.
@Stro Sinatra what?
He understood zero of the conversation. Any time he responded, he was responding to something that no one even brought up. It was infuriating to watch.
I read the last comment just now And immediately after I Felt like just putting down my phone do you not see what he’s trying to say there’s he’s responding the way he is because you’re opening up yourselves you know what never mind it makes no sense talking is going to be like talking to a brick wall so I’ll leave it at that.
@@stephanoc9814 what????
If these are paid actors, they sure as hell managed to make it look organic
They may be paid, but this doesn't look like actors to me too.
@SOUL SEEKER That's what actors do, emulate emotion. In fact I think it's obvious they are actors, just from the generality and lack of specificity, it looks half scripted with improv that is so shaky.
@@notan3144 I agree with you there. There only other option is this man choose to do this as a business venture. He may be trying to capitalize on his relationship problems.
They are not actors,but this might make them "famous"
That's why they're paid actors and not just actors lol
Paul is a classic narcissist: gaslighting, stone walling, emotionally unavailable, rude to authority...
The woman seems to be seeking someone that has passion and energy to be passionate about her and their goals. But she mistook his drive for vanity as drive for growth....
👏👏👏👏👏thank you. Well said
@@paulakerner7923 exquisitely said!
I was looking for that comment! I recognised the behaviour and was wondering whether someone else would. I feel that you have to live it to recognise it, all these are techniques that can lead you to a rabbit hole if you don't see them for what they are.
Who’s the authority in the room? I don’t see one.
Since when does earning more than your partner give you permission to 1) act like you work harder than them 2) emotionally neglect them since you pay the bills 3) not be a grown up and take care of your own house.
It doesn’t matter if he makes more than her, she didn’t ask him to. He switched up on her once he got her, because he thought she’d give up on her dreams because he makes money. He needs to plan better for his future.
First, working more hours mostly mean that person is working harder. He don't sound like he is sitting at a desk all day. She don't sound like she is putting in 12 hour days.
Second, she is emotionally neglected because she want the fantasy in her head. If a man work 60-80 he don't have the time to do all the romantic things a man working 20 hours can do. You should understand this when you date someone who puts in high hours at work. Trust me, I put high hours in and my wife understands this and benefits from those hours. She found things to occupy her day until I can show her emotion. She don't think I can work that much and then go on picnics with her or come home to cater to her on 14 hour days. If you need the attention, find a man with the time to give it to you and accept that level of life. Don't push him to be better and don't ask heavy workers to be there more for you.
Third, I assume he was taking care of his house before he met her. It's funny when a woman cleans the house or do laundry she think the man can't like he was homeless or living in filth before her. Stop it. If you live in the house with me you will have chores in this house. Some woman are the laziest creatures i ever seen. you want a man to make enough money so you don't have to be in life or death mode working, come home to rub your feet or back and make you dinner and clean the house and tend to the kids and take you out or vacation at exotic places or listen to your babble after working all day. Get over yourselves.
It does matter if he makes more than her because she wouldn't be dating him is he didn't. Sher switched , not him. He kept working hard. She thought once she got him that he would pamper her but he didn't. What dreams did she have? I didn't hear that part. I just heard that she had a job and wanted to work so she didn't have to be a housewife that, by her attitude, she would fail at.
@@kevonwalker82 nope, someone wrote an update.. she paid 60% of the bills and still be expected to do work around the house
Stop defending irresponsible guys with long paragraphs of 'bringing something to the table' bullshit, incel
@@aeoligarlic4024 Why are you angry?
@@aeoligarlic4024 the whole things fake anyway
Exactly
This guy reaally thinks he can debate his wife into staying in love with him, like bullying her instead of listening is gonna change her heart.
She’s a gold digger
@@TheNyion912 she makes her own money
@@user-eo9to7wd2t so do a lot of gold diggers. he also seems to be bringing in 70% or more of the income so making her own money is meaningless in that equation.
@@richardnash6111 why would she be putting in all this effort to get more attention and affection from him if she was just a gold digger? The weirdos with your logic are always lacking in a personality and think money is the only thing women want. He obviously wants her and thinks his money is what will keep her. He’s the one treating her like a gold digger inadvertently.
@@yamiletmacias5311 don’t listen to him, they like to call all black women gold diggers no matter the situation.
As soon as he said he'd rather go the church than therapy I already knew how this was going to play out
I screamed 😱 Runnnnn
@@brainderp808 ew no
Fucking hell. Aba and Preach have reached the UK Bckchat Universe. Wonders never cease lol
I saw this upload and I thought I had gone mad. WONDERS.
Backchat Ldn OG’s ✨
It spun the hell out of me
Aba, that wasn't it at all. Like what were you watching? Where was it said that he takes care of all the bills? She just said she helps with bills...
He’s projecting. He has a certain narrative about women in his head and tries to apply it to every situation. She never said anything about a high value man?!?
mannnn i used to be that guy. It took anger management, failed relationships and a deep sense of humility to pull out from the mess I made. He literally doesn't see how he is being controlling and dismissive. unfortunately it will probably take several failures for him to finally get that he has a problem and needs to address it. because then when he changes himself then he will start to attract the type of woman that he needs in his life. until then , he will just get more of the same.
You sir are living by the saying, “live and learn”. Props to you my man ✊🏾
Or maybe his girl needs to stop trying to be an independent boss B.
She has no respect for him. She wants a beta to run, not a man who knows what he wants.
I don't see an issue with the guy. They both have expectations of each other that neither are willing to meet though. Man's will find a housewife soon and gl to her
@@gabrielmeth4844 if he knows what he wants then why he with her when she doesn’t want the same thing? He’s therefore trying to push her into a box, that’s pretty controlling.
@@seraphina2293 because the assumption for any relationship is a trade and the person that brings in more expect compliance. If she wants a life style and the fact that he supports her financially, then she has to adapt.
Never, never, never enter a relationship with expectations that haven't been communicated. Expectations that are important to you should be never be implied but always communicated. Obviously, communicated with compromise in mind.
Never ever have expectations, have standards. Communicate those boundaries within those standards. Expectations, are not fair to the other person, especially when these expectations are in your head and not in their head.
@@lm3729 dude, you're arguing semantics. Expectations are only unfair if you make them unfair. It's the same for standards. That's why I said be willing to compromise.
5 women I have dated have told me they should not have to communicate it I should just KNOW what they want. They all wanted different things too. Why is it like this????
@@maineman5757 women like that either don't know what they want, like to keep it vague so they can change it later, or both. Its lowkey manipulative.
Yes!
"Every 28 days we have couples review"...sounds more like menstrual cycle
😂😂😂😂
i recommend y'all watch the aftermath because half of y'all assumptions about Paul being the "breadwinner" were 100% wrong LMFAO
I'm a provider not a listener....This is how I'd title that 1st episode.
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
Lol
I like how he questions the “therapist’s” legitimacy only after he pays her
Which is exactly how you know he was just gaslighting her and refusing to be held responsible.
The therapist www.denisewaterman.co.uk/
She isn't a real therapist whatsoever
And he was telling the therapist what questions she should be asking... like huh? He wanted to go to church for therapy so that they tell her to obey and be submissive.. ppl misunderstand what that means.. bye Paul 👋🏾
@@nattyf5392 this needs to be pinned. Repost this on the main comment page
I once lived next door to a couple's therapist who declared, after a few drinks at a pool party at ours, "by the time couples get to me, the damage is done. The relationship is shot. 85% of the time my job is to help them realize there's nothing worth saving." I thought that was quite cynical as a younger, more idealistic man especially given his profession and that his business cards didn't include a tag line such as "helping you realize, it's over." Years later, he may have had a point.
This guy has his own dialogue going on in his head as she’s speaking.
Bruh I don't even think I have it in me to openly and unabashedly disrespect someone-that's _genuinely_ just trying to help-directly to their face the way this man did. The audacity...
@@Symora Why you attack a actor ??
they are paid actors 😐
@Blue Plumbob Get some friends incell
These therapists are used to it. That’s their job, they don’t flinch at all because it is expected. It’s like being a cop and not expecting to be shot at, that’s literally why they carry guns, to be abel to defend themselves. IT IS PART OF THE JOB.
You might think that they're trying to help but they arent
“I don’t know you from anywhere, but you’re here” To the therapist that they’ve both agreed to see. 😂😂
Maybe the wife nagged him to the point where he agreed just to shut her up?
@@Farhan_049 But he hyped up the episode and told folks to "stay tuned" and shit
@@raemin-laanmcneil8449 Maybe he thought he could use that to his career's benefit? I really don't know how people's brains work! They make up excuses and shit all the time. I'm trying to see patterns in such situations.
@@Farhan_049 Its the any publicity idea. He didn't actually pay attention to who he would actually be talking too.
He did not agree to see her. He wanted to go to church and Chioma insisted. She got her way.
Part of me is confused why people decide to air out this kind of laundry, but on the other hand, it makes me extremely glad because I end up realizing how fortunate I am to not be stuck in a relationship with someone that makes me feel imprisoned.
To most British and Irish people this is normal
@@prinscaliamarivate870 pfft, it turns out it was a skit 😂
Something traumatic happened to him in his life. Someone who dodges that much to not talk about themself while having that much pride in themself is hiding something. It’s a defense mechanism.
He’s insecure. Little man with big insecurities. Return him to his mother. She’s not sone raising him
@@TheSweeeeeetz it’s too late. He’s an adult now. He’s gonna have to figure this out in his own.
The level of immaturity from Paul is mndblowing!
Careful Aba and Preach, notice how you - by default - started out your reviews against the woman, then eventually found that the issue is not the woman.
Start your reviews with an open mind.
I would be hesitant to give up my job/career before I get married. Imagine if she did that and they broke up, she’d be in a worse place. I understand why she’s want to keep her independence.
They're married, no?
@@hereallyfast No indication that they are.
@Kaye Ti Then you cannot expect to get a “high value man” like she has. Those types of men do not care about your career and would prefer you stay home. If you are unwilling to give that up, then you need to lower your standards to an average guy, who may be more than happy for you to work.
@Kaye Ti Yes! That’s true as well.
@@acenine8149 then you never met a high value man. Don't believe self proclaimed gurus. Those valuable men actually want high positioned women with their own money who paired with, will add to their networth and legacy even more. Those who are sane and don't have personality disorders, do NOT want housewives. They want women who have their own lives and stimulate their minds. If you truly make millions, you hire maids and butlers. At most I've seen these men want their wives to organize their vacations together and go by herself to check out the real estate they're about to invest in. The only times I've seen millionaires and billionaires want a sit at home wife was when they had personality disorders and wanted full control over the wife's whereabouts while he's fancing dancers at the club.
Chioma is so beautiful sidebar, I love her pink dress!
She is fine AF
I mean,She ight for a black girl
The overall look is ugly when you speak a certain way. Great dress though 👍🏾
… yes. We know. Everybody has eyes.
She is fine..of course there will be haters
Literally all she wants is a lil love 🥺 why can’t he see that 😭
Men don't seem to think that love is logical. This also coming from the same people that complain about not being 'allowed' to show emotion.
I mean she chose a guy with a lot of money... she should understand that he has to do a lot to keep with the lifestyle she wants
@@veronicahaney6005 She has money too tho, and said things weren’t like that beforehand.
I’m from the UK, I can’t believe they are reacting to this😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same!!!
Same😭
For real😂 I'd love to see them react to bkchat with the likes of Nunu and Lucas lmaoo
Innit 😂😂 I could only imagine what they would think of bkchat
Me too lol. This is really going increase the views.
Now do the Deborah part guys! I promise you you will lose your sht 🤣
aba finna blow up lol
She was dumb af😂🤦♀️
"Did I stutter" - 😂😂😂😂😂
bruhhh its crazy how a lot of girls in the uk like that
@@chicoj-r1906 not just in the U.K. I think it’s how they think they are shit when contributing to their partners when clearly they are gassing when it’s time to prove them selves to be a “better partner”
Does this mean that all a high value man can offer is financial stability? Because they work so much that they don't have time for anything else apparently🤷🏾♀️
Mostly yes
Yea..looking at most rich men currently in the world, how are their relationships with their partners.
Balance Is most likely not possible.
You can't have it all..you probably gonna lack in something. The earlier you know this, the easier you and your patner's lives becomes.
@@randymorninstarr5011 I guess to the only people who can happily be in a relationship with such men, are people who only care about the money . I don't understand why they get into relationships in the first place tho
Just being rich isn’t even what makes a high value man. Being finically stable is one aspect of being high value
@@westcoastfrank I thought that too but when people talk about it generally they refer to ones that have 6,7 figure salaries or to top percentage earners, money seems to be the only 'quality' that's mentioned. That's why I made that statement.
That man was so rude and deflective, well said lads about the expectations vs reality, absolutely spot on.
The way he's sketchy when the therapist asks him what he does for a living, just tells us all we need to know about this guy.
Oh the same way that people don’t like to say how much money he makes. You can’t always say what you do when you’re dealing with a certain type of clientele.
@@sturmbreakers7817 Nah, he must be involved in some pyramid scheme or something illegal, things don't add up. Or maybe he is indeed just an actor and didn't know what to answer because they were free styling
@@sturmbreakers7817 certain clientele.. like crack heads you mean?
He’s a paid actor didn’t know that was illegal now 💀
@@sysye so i should be skeptical about how you make money? You know girls on the internet are onlyfans hoes. Should you be categorized like that?
My aunt is married for 4 years to the man she knew for 20 years before that. When the kids were born she wanted to baptise them, and her non-religious husband was against it. She eventually got what she wanted but they went through a whole struggle. Please have those important talks
I don't know why that was important. If you're not religious. Why the h.ell would you care if they get baptized? To him it probally just seemed as if they are dipping them in water. It is only a big deal to the religious person. I'm not religious. Which is why I wouldn't care if my child got baptized as long as they are not putting a bunch of religious nonsense in their heads.
God is insane
@@SourStrawberrys what if she was into voodoo or a Satanist?
@@SabracadabrO Than I wouldn't date them. I believe in energy. And although I'm not religious and more so just spiritual, I wouldn't be into having anyone around me who might bring negative energy around me such as satanist, voodoo, black magic, or whatever they may be into that has negative association with it.
@@SourStrawberrys You missed the point.
Smh, y'all missed the part where she said he was doing dishes and cleaning before they moved in together he obviously couldn't afford a maid that why he tricked her into moving in, also she obviously doesn't want a 'baller' she's looking for someone to grow and build with
If both people are working, then you both do housework. Been with the same man for 35 years and that’s how it works. It’s called RESPECT💯
When Abba talked about his mom, my mom is the exact same way she calculates every single hour and every single cent African moms are the same everywhere 😂
Amen, in west African and mine is the same!!! 😂😂😂
@@rumeemeka-okafor3746 each week she complains about the contractor fixing our and lawn and garden and I’m like momma that’s what we agreed upon, and she like with the work he’s doing I can it myself 😂😂
My Caribbean mom checks every receipt and calculates it herself.😂😂
Bruv my mom doesn’t even trust me she always asked for receipt when she sends me to the store talk less of a contractor.
This man deflected every emotion she brought up 😂🤣😂😂
Emotions are fleetimg.. to be ignored
If only that were true.
I.applaud her for coming this far, honestly his nacrassism is on a whole nother level.how did they move from the friendship stage to even be in a relationship . There must have been red flags that was clearly ignored ,grown folks don't change ,it's really surprising that love has to said from him and he shows no sign that he cares for her ,from his insensitive remarks about Nigerian food to her weight, this is truly devastating to watch ,the best she can do is move on .
Chioma GET OUT girl at the very least you deserve a guy that literally listens to all the words you say rather than coming up with a response for what he thinks you said
She wants it all and so does he, but they have different views of what “all” entails
They both want to be the man in the relationship. He wants a housewive who takes care of the home and he provides,she wants to be another man who takes care of her own money is strong etc, expects her husband to cook and do the dishes,come home give her love and attention after a day of work and what not equally,maybe not equally but i digress.
They're not compatible,two men fighting over the who gets to wear the big boy pants basicly.
@@123dylando This sums it up!!! She has independent energy and wants someone who makes all the money while still giving her all the time and they both don't even realize it..
@@123dylando Nah. She said she takes care of herself financially minus the gifts he gives her. If she's doing the same hours of actual work as him then she doesn't want to do all the cleaning and cooking. Her point is valid but at the same time, if he was doing well I don't think she would be complaining. If he was doing extremely well, she would probably take the risk of losing her job/career to become a housewife.
Say if she lost her job now, him spending 10k at clubs would hurt their pockets even more.
@@123dylando Also chores shouldn't be about gender roles. There's factors such as income ,hours of work and who's career path will earn more in the long run. If that was the case then before she moved in, he was the woman and man in his household since he cleaned and cooked for himself.
Personally, I think she should just wait until it starts going well and then quit her job or if his career and income aren't going well, she could leave him or she should be the breadwinner
@@123dylando No.... she wants to be a woman, not a housewife. Did you watch? She said, "He used to be self sufficient" Like he'd take care of HIS OWN chores, not hers. Now she's saying he expects HER to take care of his chores as well whilst still working. She's more equal than him. Taking care of your own mess is an act of life, what do you think single people and furthermore decent people do? If you get into a relationship and think taking care of your own mess is out of order then your dynamic better be from like 1800's. But i do agree on the fact that they aren't compatible. But your paragraph above that makes me think you agree with everything K.samuels says and click like on every one of his videos at all times even when it doesn't make sense
He wants to see a pastor and not a therapist because he doesn’t want to do the self work. He wants his behavior reaffirmed in his role as a man and have her reminded of role as a woman.
However I’m sure this man was like this from day 1. This is why open honest conversation needs to happen sooner than later.
She’s not a therapist
Yeah... he wants a traditional African housewife with Christian values, she knows that deep down and always has lol she wants to change him coz she loves him and doesn’t want to play her role that he clearly wants her to play
You are 100 percent correct... he probably showed her what he wanted her to see at first to reel her in..
@@MClovinHD3D Actually if you watched the show he knew from the start she never wanted to be a traditional African housewife. Paul on the other hand changed once they moved in together.
💯
So, I usually rock with Aba on some of the points he make, but he seemed to let this guy off a lot and placed blame on Chioma. Particularly in the area of wanting a hard working man. How is it that “if you want a high earner you have to accept that the person works a lot and that balance is not possible for them.” INSTEAD HOW ABOUT “if you, a hard worker, know you work crazy hours and can’t be emotionally available and give time to a romantic partner, then don’t have one!” If you know you want a romantic partner in your life, you have to be able to accommodate them and compromise. You can’t just add someone to your life and go on living like you are single. It just doesn’t work that way. Also, Aba assumes alot of things that she never said. I’m not trying to go in on Aba, but I felt that his commentary on the situation was unfair.
I felt that too. This video was very unbalanced and I think they really need a fresh perspective, SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN if they want to give an unbiased opinion
I 💯 agree with you! It seemed like Aba just stereotyped her a lot in this clip without really listening to her
It goes both ways, you can’t get with a workaholic and then 2 years down the line complain and say they work too much, she knew the man he was when she first got with him.
@@Jhelil Nah youre completely missing the point. If he’s been a workaholic since they started dating, how come he had time for her then but not now. It shows that now thé at he’s gotten her he feels no need to put any more effort into the relationship and she feels a lack of attention and affection. Nothing of that keep the same energy bs
@@ajayiayomide4401 because people progress in life, someone who barely had time then is most likely going to end up with even more hours In the future, do you not understand how careers work? Workaholics don’t work less as time goes on
He doesn’t really want to work on anything girl just leave him alone. He got some money and he is feeling himself.
Lmaoooo
"I'm a provider" Homie just say you move weight and move on, goddamn.
Very shady
Yo facts. This guy definitely is doing some illegal things on the side lol.
🤣🤣🤣
Nah in the original video he goes into what he does this was funny tho 😂
Is this a reinforcement of a negative stereotype about black men; by a black man?
Spot on gentlemen!
The 4 pillars should be discussed prior to marriage:
1. Religion
2. Finances
3. Children
4. In-Laws
Ayyy a Dave Ramsey follower! Hi! 😀
@@hashbrown4me I’m not religious but it’s good to know if your partner is and how avid of a follower he is. You can also replace ‘religion’ with ‘spirituality’. I’m not spiritual, either lol. Check out Dave Ramsay, if you have time. I takeout all the religious stuff and focus on the money and relationship-growing part. I’m a woman, btw.
Yes. Yes. I would add, flexibility.
@@hashbrown4me depends which religion you follow
@@hashbrown4me ...archaic ideas that have held civilization together for thousands of years. But you have a better way? Please let us hear it.
Men who are a combination of Workaholic + high "value" don't place much value on things that aren't "productive". A lot of them tie their sense of self worth/value to how much they bring in. It's also the only way a lot of them are able to show their value of/affection for others. So Paul thinks him "bringing in the bacon" is him showing Chioma affection. Notice how he emphasizes the kind of (high net worth) people he works with whereas Chioma rolls her eyes at his membership to their club because they simply don't value the same things in the same way. From my own experience, when you enter a relationship with a workaholic you often think you'll bring "balance" to their lives and it's absolutely not true. Like Aba said in the video - they don't actually want balance🤷🏽♀️. Chioma's going to be frustrated because what she assumed was a temporary "hustling" phase is a core part of Paul's personality.
Usually, someone asking you to go to church once you’re together even though you didn’t before means something ominous. They’re not trying to save you, they’re trying to get you to follow a doctrine that will make you abide them. If they cared about ‘your soul’, they would have asked you to church before getting into your pants.
I’m not religious at all, but I know real religious people respect their beliefs enough to not use it to get laid or to control their partner.
She just doesn't want him to do too much....she's basically saying, "we don't need the $10,000 bill, we can just have the $5,000 bill and because you're spending that extra $5,000 and we're saving now you have to spend more time at work to make that $5,000 back and that means more time away from me" she just doesn't want him to do too much
Exactly!
IF she was smart... she would of left... but something tells me she does like the money more than she's letting on. Like Aba said about liking the end product of success. She'll live with it in men or let it go. I'm hoping she'll let it go.
Making that extra can turn into an even bigger piece down the road. If he's really faking it and just growing than that's probably his strategy. An extra 5 eventually becomes 10, 15, etc. Meanwhile she's just getting older and the wall is undefeated.
She's pretty but clearly not looking at the big picture and doesn't seem capable of it. He made a bad investment and probably should cut his losses.
He doesn't want her to do too much either. he's legit saying "do less, don't work".
You don’t hear her. She doesn’t want him to spend what he doesn’t have. She doesn’t want him to live above he’s means. She wants time with him which he doesn’t give her yet: he’s out spending money he doesn’t have, whilst their relationship suffer.
What I understood her take on the financial situation is that he partakes in the high-end expenditures of his friends who are millionaires in what she perceives as essentially an investment, but the yield he gets is low to none. On top of the money that he loses, these activities are beyond his normal work, which means it is also taking away time he could otherwise be spending with her.
If this represents reality, then it is an absolutely valid point that Chioma raises.
Overall, I agree with y’all that they did not communicate expectations and hopes before getting together. On top of that, the guy is frankly behaving like a complete tool. From this short video, He does not seem like a pleasant person to be married to. It’s no surprise that she sought professional help (even if it is televised, which I have, as do you, many qualms). Paul twists Chioma’s words into things she didn’t say. He deflects instead of addressing the grievances that she has, and he is excessively secretive. He doesn’t want to entertain the possibility that her issues with the relationship are valid, so he will never introspect. Communication will never succed. They are doomed to fail bar a massive change in his attitude. I can’t even tell if she’s openminded or not because Paul continuously stonewalls.
On point with this entirely.
💪🏾🙌🏾
Well said💯
Please do the whole thing there's so much layers to this and would love to hear your opinion on it. So many things that could have been fixed by being addressed appropriately but alot that's left up to preference. I hope you guys get to shed some light on that.
Episode four really hits the nail on the head!!!!
Her: you eradicated the love aspect of our relationship
Therapist: When was the last time you did something loving for her
Him: wait.. Denise Denise right!?? Look were not going to...
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That man is such a 🚩
Right. It's insane the manipulation He was using here.
Textbook narcissist
Girrrrrrrrl... sigh it's tough to watch because although they are both on separate pages Chioma is at least trying to resolve the rift that has been created (not perfectly the Igbo in her is stubborn - I'm an Igbo woman so I know how we can get...)
Not even that when she asked " when was the last time we did anything meaningful together" His response was "well every 28 days we have a couples review and create a checklist" bruh thats a business meeting.
@@xMckingwill ikr 👀 imagine your partner turning the only quality time you have every 28 days into a meeting!??? He only checks into the relationship once a month for business and he sees nothing wrong with that 🚩🚩🚩
I don't think they are paid actors. I think homie is just a hustler and trying to capitalise off the exposure. That's just the issue with his shorty. He's constantly hustling.
And funny enough the guy is not happy with his girlfriend hustle. In fact because of his insecurity and jealousy she has lost deals.
The therapist is an actor, Type her name up ..she comes up on a actors website
She’s an influencer and makes money of IG. The show is partly scripted
@@angelkwartz6332 what's the therapist's name?
The therapist www.denisewaterman.co.uk/
I was married to my husband when I was on Active duty in the Army and he was a DOD civilian. Out of 10 years of marriage, we were together for a total of maybe 4 years that we were physically together. It's not easy at all to manage a hugely demanding profession and a marriage. We grew apart. Shit just happened
Insightful review 👌🏾Please do a part 2 & 3
The Burna boy over wizkid part killed me lol.
Same! Like what🤣🤣🤣??
These are real issues for Nigerians...I'm trolling 😂
Nail on the head when y'all said he doesn't listen. He hasn't heard a single word she has said and then ignores the therapist when she tries to move the conversation forward.
That's good. Less listening is better especially not listening to the therapist
I watched this vid the other day and thought, I’d love to see you guys take on this!
Cant believe you guys made a video on something I sent you on Instagram. Love the channel and the fact that i was able to contribute is great. Keep up the good work!!
As soon as therapist Denise asked a question that made him look inward, he panicked and got defensive😂 He's trying to make her look unqualified when she's there to help. People like him are exhausting and they don't change. Girl run 🤦🏾♀️
Therapists are not there to help
@@Zuriakiworld he’s top 10%?? Whewww
@@fantasia3714 probably. She makes enough to take care of herself. Not sure exactly what that means but I guess it means she pays for her credit card. And he makes "significantly more" than her. Yes, he's high value or striving to be.
@@chitownbob9714 Is someone's value only determined by the amount of money they make? You can be rich and a shitty individual, like Paul. Does that make him valuable?
@@Zuriakiworld Ironic you say that when it turns out she pays most of the bills💀 If you’re sexist just say that
This man is so disrespectful. If I was tht lady I would run him from my office after he snapped at me. Bro she tryna help you, act like an decent adult
You know she's not even a therapist right
She's a paid actor
@@3nthamornin so that means that men like him don't exist?
@@Ishizu09 Sure they do... but these are actors.
@TO Niwa yeah . . . thats why im pointing it out because these fools are taking it seriously
These people are not meant for each other. Two bosses can't rule one house.
Things are not the same anymore, Burna Biy is not hot anymore, Wizkid has come in. There's real trouble here.
This is a master class in gaslighting. Students, welcome to Malignant Narcissistic Disorder 101.
It frustrates me when someone has a good partner & they don't appreciate them. So many good people missing out because of not finding the compatible partner.
Omggg I never expected them to cover this. I love all of this UK content 🥰. Btw they are not payed actors, they are payed but not actors. Chioma is from Bkchat (it would be very interesting if you covered some episodes of that show) meaning that she basically has ties with the company and she is also a social media person.
Oh word?
@@Blue-ds2bo word
Nah it’s fake g
Yesss they need to cover bkchat !
The therapist is literally an actor lol..... search her name lmao
He's a toxic peice of gaslight 😂, they seem as if they were too busy to have a major talk during their dating days. Ima have to pick Wizkid🔥
The information you guys are sharing in your side talk is 100% accurate. My relationship of 10-years feel apart because of these exact reasons such as her and myself wanting me to be a high-earner but her expecting me to come home at 5PM and turn into Mr. Husband and share duties of cleaning, fixing, cooking and catering...to her. When really I'm built to go out and grind more, make more and grow us more, I'll rest when there is at least 8 figures in the asset column and we were living off the interest of that...but while she expected the wealth and success she was disillusioned at just what I was willing and what she expected me to do at home. Don't get me wrong when I'm home I loved to carter to her and make sure she was content on an emotional level but as far as doing dishes and cooking, I'd only do that when I felt like it and no one tells me to go do this or that, I'll do what I want, when I want...miss me with that demands and commands, I was never the one for that.
Him: "Denise. Denise?"
Her: "Yes"
Him: "Look. We're not gonna play the whoooole..."
Me: 😆😆😂😭 He's so wild
He's the provider alright.
Provider of one-liners.
Provider of denial.
Etc., etc.
[Fill in the blank.]
Aba tryin to show that he’s in tune with the UK culture refrenceing KiDULTHOOD with the whole “is you dizzy Blud?!?!” I see you bro I see you👀👏🏽
It's funny he referenced it given the recent Noel Clarke allegations
Yeah and know one says that anymore 😂😂
There's 3 episodes out now and a second couple. Please do more reaction videos to this series. I like hearing the opposing positions that challenge my initial perspective and interpretation.
Great video! But I'd just like to say THANK YOU for finally sharing the outro music. I've been searching for sooooo long 🤣🤣🤣🙌🏾
He was already cleaning and taking care of his home for him to stop because they moved in together is just BS he wants a maid
Right and she is correct. If he isn't financing her 100% then how can he expected her to be a stay at home wife? It doesn't make sense.
I mean... if she works less and has more free time...
Like I work a normal retail job from 8 am till 8pm... 5 days a week.
My wife works a normal retail job from 8 am to 6 pm 4 days a week...
So why should I try to hoover late night when I'm supposed to be cooking dinner or hoover if she had not only extra time a day but extra days off....
Its a time think tbh.
If my wife works more than me guess what I’m gonna be home majority and should do the house work. Same vice versa
@@imanigordon6803 his 'working more' is going out to clubs and casinos
@@putzehs8581 he was able to do it previously. So what changed? He had a woman move in and he expects her to do it now.
Also, if a woman isn't being treated like anything other than your maid she will want to do these things for you even less.
they did not just bring up burna boy and wizkid in therapy 😭
Fr tho. When she said that she started listening to Wizkid more I was like nahhhhhhh
😹😹😹😹😭😭😭😭😭I’m screaming
Part two necessary!
Basically he wants her so they can become a BRAND. If you watch all 4 episodes you'll see it.
If you ask someone what they do for a living and they say ""I make money" then they either do some pretty shady shit or they are just peddling hot air and/or they con people. He either makes money by selling drugs, or he has a huge hidden debt ready to take both of them out for decades.
That's what I got from it
Or they won the lottery and lay low
Or i rather not saying it since i'm a very private person.
You guys funny lol "shady" man gtfoh haha
Nah sometimes you just can't say anything to anyone other than those contributing
In the full episode he says he runs an IT firm along with providing fitness and nutrition services.
"she asking what do i do,I Make Money Fam", SIR YOURE GOING TO JAAILL!!!!!
Straight illegal shit lmao.....she gotta gangsta, and now kickin herself in the ass.....that money was looking right to her ass, but he's gangsta, with other women included lmao
😂😂😂😂
@@raemin-laanmcneil8449 It should make somebody wonder why the hell they putting their business out on Reality TV? That's self-snitching.
Exactly 🤐
@@jaybates3816 Welllll......he really didn't say WHAT he does all the way, his wife tried to be petty and say some of his profession......She's not to be trusted. Obviously he haven't gotten caught up yet, but she'll let it be known if he moves the wrong way according to her.
Y’all gave great advice in this video. Thank you.
I understand Chioma. I think at some point, we need to stop chasing the bag. You keep going after more and more and don't spend time just living and enjoying each other.
Why he look like a whole tyler perry villain 😭😭
😂😂 facts!!!
No....SHE is
Cause it's *always* a dark skinned, bald headed man as The Boondocks told us.
😂😂😂
And acts like one lol
He's so manipulative too. He's strawmanning her every time she brings up something he doesn't like or makes him uncomfortable, rather than trying to see her perspective.
"I respect your grind but I need more balance and I don't feel loved."
"So you don't trust me?"
Bruh.
He's not manipulative, they just don't understand each other's wants at all. I think he's really confused, and he thinks he was doing a good job, and I think he's convinced that he still is doing a good job (financially I mean). But, he doesn't understand why his wife is complaining about not seeing him, after she agreed to marry him, knowing he's a hard fulltime worker. In his eyes, he thinks she's loves this hard working man, that barely has time off, so when she says something like that, he think "well she doesn't love me." But at the end of the day it's really stupid and complicated situation. She doesn't understand that he works a tone, and he doesn't understand that she wants more attention, because he's still the same man she feel in love with.
Does she not do the same thing? They are both the same and the same sign repels.
I agree with you ... ABSOLUTE strawman example right there.
@@michp7 right. Everybody is just ignoring how hostile and how snappy the female is being and calling out the man like no , she isn’t right either. They both need to humble themselves, listen and validate what the other is saying. All the do is listen to rebuttal not to change that’s why they aren’t working out.
@@KrissssmichelleonIG If this is not them "acting" (because some sources are saying it was all an act), then they truly are not right for each other. If this is truly how they are, it's not a good fit. I'm not saying she was perfect. .. but there was a lot of him dismissing what she wanted to address and he really was kinda snarky at the therapist. But yes, they don't listen to each other ... sometimes you can't fix that. Bad habits are hard to break.
When Paul popped up like that at the therapist, his snap was just as equally trivialized as to him being a duchebag.
Chioma is respected and this Paul guy will be the death of her long term happiness watching that pissed me off😤
exaaactllyyyyyy