My main issue with this is the complete lack of sensitivity people have with this issue. As someone who's been abused as a child, I felt a long time, like my body belonged to someone else, and so I've always found it very disturbing when people force women to allow their bodies to become a home to a baby they aren't ready for. Women should be able to own their bodies and be comfortable with becoming a mother. It's always disappointing when women push other women to have children and marry and its a symptom of a woman who has felt sheltered by patriarchy and continues to uphold it. I want to have children when I'm ready and women should be allowed to do this without rushing. And people-ESPECIALLY women, should respect our decisions. But you know-not all womenfolk are kinfolk. Instagram: @SincerelyOghosa Twitter: @SincerelyOghosa
If you want to have children when your physically and mentally ready that is fine. But there is alot of lies feminism is pushing that if you believe it,you are on the wrong path
@@leilaanderson8948 How does realizing and claiming your own agency equate to feminist lies? How does listening to your body and mind make her "wrong"? If everybody was meant to have children, there would be no infertility, no orphans, no children in foster care and no abused and murdered children at the hands of their parents.
I feel the SAME way right now tbh, i think its very selfish to bring a child into this world when you cannot properly dedicate yourself to raising a child yet. So i applaud you for being honest and mature about this. I wish there wasn’t so much pressure on women around this.
I've seen SO many friends and mutual friends who have serious mental health and anxiety issues due to the fact that their parents didn't give them the love they needed, had very toxic habits they hadn't dealt with, and had unresolved traumas that they projected onto their children. Having a child is a huge responsibility-its not one to take lightly. The statements made to women like 'no one ever feels ready' aren't made to men. A man says he's not ready or he's never having children and everyone says 'okay.' Sensitivity & objectivity is needed but people don't know what objectivity is if it was lying next to them in bed.
SincerelyOghosa generational trauma is REAL. there’s no way i’m bringing a child into this world without my emotional and mental state being strong. People think it’s a joke, get married, have kids but most of these aunties that are so worried about you having kids will be judging your kids or blaming you as a parent if you end up passing down unhealed trauma that manifests itself in whatever way. The best thing you can truly do in this world is live your life for YOU, No one can really tell you when you are or are not ready for kids. Also glad you touched on the hypocrisy that some christians show.
Mental stability is very important when it comes to someone being a parent, you can provide for your children's basic needs and still be a terrible parent there are so many emotionally absent parents in this world.
I'm 27 and dont want kids but I never tell people that so I dont have to hear those peoples annoying rebuttles. I say, yeah, just not right now. And they only say oh ok! hahaha easy way out. I'll keep saying that so people will leave me alone. It's none of their business anyway.
im 30 and no kids... not worrying about another life ; the pressure ; the unknown .... better to go to work, pay your bills, travel and live LIFE. Biological clock ticking....... not even on my radar.... my goals and my inner peace comes FIRST by choice. I can give the same unconditional love to a puppy, or step child or an adoptive child. So many women had children and still can barely feed themself. No race when you wanna enjoy your life you know. Life is already stressful and full of pressure, why add on
Whitney J I'm 30 no kids and girl the pressure you would think they way they go on you would think I've gone past my sell by date when it comes to having kids
@@anuhassan5596 you can be successful, just have to do alot of time management... because ur kid comes first. Someone with no kids doesnt have to find a sitter for daycare so they can work the shift they want, or find a sitter to take classes they want, or feel guilty to go away to school. Most parents dont have the luxury of being successful prior to having them.... theres always a delay, even moreso with kids right? Can't just get up and go, can't just take the shift you want, can't just up and move to the state you want. But you can be successful lol
I have always hated this conversation, whenever a person tells a woman she should have kids, gives the message that a woman herself is not enough, to be complete she needs to produce more people, and she alone can not fulfil herself and I think that’s disgusting. Why does the world think we have the inability to innately be enough, why is women’s existence seen as a means to an end and not an end in itself?
I totally agree with the point where you say the lady made out like you're not taking your life seriously. I'm in my late 30s - childless and partnerless - and I always feel like the irresponsible child when I'm around family members to the point where I refrain from attending family events. I'm tired of feeling like I have to explain myself to people. I'm tired of having to endure the awkward conversations where people give me advice on how to get a man and how to have a child. I wonder why people think it's okay to tell you how you should live your life. I met a girl recently and she asked if I had children. When I told her that I didn't she told me that I need to and wouldn't let it go and then starting diagnosing me; telling me why I didn't have any. I'd just met her that day so I don't know why she thought it was okay.
Adeola Ogundele for people asking you why? Just simple ask them... well... Can you just get up and go and do whatever u want? Their answer will be no and boom! That’s why you don’t have kids, you actually want to enjoy your life lol they won’t be happy with the comment but atleast they can compare whose really enjoying life and who can’t . Shady questions deserve shady responses 🤷🏾♀️
@@anuhassan5596 well meaning... people with children are unable to do things like people without kids... like spending your money on yourself, or taking a vacation without waiting to find a sitter, or even a simple movie date with no hassle. If thats not enjoying life I dont know what is lol, it wasnt to offend anybody especially if they feel differently. To be able to come and go, travel, less worries, more money in ya pocket for you... dynamics are different ...
I can totally understand where you're coming from, my mother had me and my siblings young and she was and even in old age is a terrible mother, i have no bond with her and haven't spoken to her for years, the fact that you are giving it a lot of thought shows your level of maturity, a lot of Nigerians just marry and have children for the sake of conforming, a lot of them are unhappy and live double lives, just do you, having children will not make you any happier, you have to be happy within yourself.
I absolutely 100% agree! I have similar conversations with my friends. I’ve never seen myself having children , especially since I feel like I have so much more I want to do! Not saying children hinder you, but why take on a responsibility you’re not prepared for ?my friends think I’m going through some phase and I’ll get over it and the “maternal” instinct will kick in 🙄I’m 27 and people start giving the side eye . It’s almost abnormal to see women my age who don’t have a kid(s) .. everything you’ve said is spot on for me. It’s your body , your life , your choice . Be content with yourself first , be selfish. There’s nothing wrong with that . Thank you for speaking your truth so open and honestly 💕
I'm 27 and I feel the same way about being financially and mentally stable before having a husband and kids. I'm Nigerian also and I currently feel that pressure of having a husband; it honestly worries me. One thing I would like to clarify is, the older a woman gets, the more prone the child is to having disorders such as down syndrome, autism, etc. And I also think people's fears of having a special needs child are very valid. They have that fear because they want their kids to live full lives. It's not so much a discrimination against special needs children. I'm just saying this from personal experience when working with the parents of special needs kids as a speech therapist.
True, but not all of the time especially if it does not run in the family, and if you take care of yourself and eat right. There are plenty of black women who can have healthy children in their early 30’s. Truth be told women who are young can have children with those same conditions. Nothing is guaranteed or set in stone. Not even life itself.
I'm at that point where I want a kid but it's not a must for me. I'm not there yet, mentally or financially not to mention I am SCARED of sex (still a virgin) and child birth. So if I have one and if I don't have one I won't worry, I just won't rush it.
"It's always Christians" because most Christians idolize marriage! Marriage & procreation are choices, not mandates! Matthew 19:8-12, Isaiah 56:3-6, Corinthians 7--The whole chapter exalts singleness over marriage!
The Bible even says it: “Love your neighbour as yourself” people often misinterpret this scripture,you can not love anyone if you do not first love yourself. Take all the time you need sis❤️
This is such an important topic. I think there's a lot of people out there who think that if you don't have children, that your life is "unfulfilled" and has no meaning. If a woman doesn't want to have children, it really is entirely up to her - you're so right. Also I have Asperger Syndrome (autism) too, and I really dislike the term "special needs" as well. I do feel like people avoid the topic of learning disabilities. I've had relatives avoid me at gatherings because I'm autistic. But back on subject you're so knowledgable and I hear it in your voice how strongly you feel on this topic. You do you and set that strong foundation in your life like you spoke about. Side note: Your make up is always on point. Getting mardi gras/carnival vibes from this make up look. That purple shade looks amazing against your skin tone - so flattering. 💜
Girl you better preach! It doesn't matter in Africa where you come from cos it is the same expectations. You could have a great career and have your shit together but as long as you are not married or have kids you are looked down upon. People will praise a woman who is married with kids but nothing else going for her over someone who has their shit together and is doing great things in her life but isnt married or have kids. Marriage and kids are placed on a pedestal in our African cultures and used to define women and womanhood. If you dont have one of the 2 or both then you are not seen as a real woman. It's a damn shame cos I feel like most women never reach that level of self awareness where they know who they are as a person, they just go along with what society tells them alongside culture.
I am in my early 30s and do not feel broody. It is an African thing. My family wants me to conceive in the honey moon period? I am single and I haven't met my God given husband yet. I would like to have some me time with my husband when we marry before having children. I want to myself and my husband to be settled before having children. It is hard in this country to raise children. I pray God guide me
As a mother of one, dont bother about it! Live your life let it flow. Its alwayss worse to force it. It's funny how it's more important than a HOLISTICALLY STABLE PARTNER THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE A GOOD HUSBAND/FATHER TO THE CHILD tf..
As someone who had my daughter at 17 I am so content with her at the moment. Many of my age mates who started young have 2+3 kids now and I’m just like 😊👀 Having a child young I defo felt that my life was not my own at times but I’m growing through that. People should have children when they’re ready because life throws enough curve balls without kids. When you have them, your job is to protect and guide them whilst providing the tools to help them succeed and surpass you. Mate it’s no joke.
I understand where you are coming from. I'm nearly 28 and I always think about having children myself as I plan to have them in future. It's not fair how women are pressured into marriage and childbirth when they are not ready to. I read some articles about the 'right age to have children' but I think there is none. This video was great to watch and I appreciate you posting it. 😊❤
I for one, have thought about being married for at least a year before children start coming into the picture. I'm very selfish so I have to enjoy my husband to the fullest and mind you I'm 28 and ppl would think that's bizarre but it's telling the truth to yourself. Nobody should ever put a timing on when you should have a child, like Ever!!!!! So agree with you 💯and 10%
oh yes. I definitely want to have my husband to myself for a while before having children. And as a christian, it doesn't make sense. They say, stay celibate until marriage but then as soon as I get married I need to be pregnant. Pregnancy sex is obviously an option but I'm not doing that in my first year or so-that's just me.
Girl, I get it. I'm African too and I know what that kind of pressure feels like. It's as if you're wrong for following the path that The Most High has planned for you instead of following the crowd. It's a lack of faith and uncertainty about the future that forces people to project their fears onto you.
I really respect your views on this topic. I see no wrong in wanting children even if your not 100% where you want to be. I personally want a few children, I know I’ll have to work hard but I LOVE my job and God willing will continue to love my job which Will aid my future plans on having children. Having said that...... MI NA WAN HEAR ANYONEEEEEE asking me when am I having kids, when am I getting married GO. A. WAYYYY.
Loved your video girl! I agree, having children is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly or rushed. However i feel like people promote having kids earlier mostly because that is the period in which you are more fertile.
I completely agree with you. I need to have a good career before even thinking about catering to another mouth. I've been abused so it's hard for me to even be with a man. Hard time enjoying entercouse etc. An old guy at work told me that it would eventually kick in but the thing is I used to be sooo maternal but it just faded. And like with the environmental issues arising I think it might be selfish to keep conceiving,so I might adopt. Dunno x
At 15, I didn't want children either.. You aren't supposed to have sex until marriage. Since she's older, she could get her tubes tied, if she really don't want them
No chance for me I have social anxiety, can't even bring myself to talk to a guy also I have trust issues with guys I don't know and no where near financially ready for it.
I really really enjoyed this. Your points were super valid and I agree you should work to your own timeline. If you choose to have kids, you should work to your own timeline.
@Oghose .. Lovely content as usual i like the fact that you share views that are not society standards. Serious question have you ever considered adoption and what is your take on adoption in general. I ask because lets not front here the older a man/woman the more challenges come with pregnancy so it's baffling more people don't consider adoption. I understand adoption is a lengthy process but so is pregnancy , waiting on the Lord after unsuccessful pregnancy attempts is discouraging so why not consider alternatives. This idea that a woman must carry her own child is redundant because love is love , we love those who love us so can we not love a child like our own unless that child comes from our womb.
SincerelyOghosa controlling your future is paramount and best for and when you decide to have a family. Your parents are great to respect you as you see what is good for yourself. Don’t forget the biological clock is real , many people wait so late to have the family that there become health concerns. The family is important to society and I understand what you are saying. Too many of us never realize what it takes to raise a family there are things I would have done differently looking back. We are humans and we do make mistakes. Lovely production once again!
did you watch the video in full before making this statement? Why do you feel entitled to say what other women do with their lives and their bodies. If someone isn't ready-they're not ready. You don't know me and so you have absolutely no say over my life decisions. I don't believe in the universe-I believe in God, which-again-you'd know had you watched the video instead of making your patriarchal, ignorant statement.
Its true tbh i have a child and i had mine early i was scared that I wasnt ready but nature took its course and here i am doing a good job . I think people have the right to choose if they want kids or not cos children are a very big responsibility. You have to think of them first literally which can be hard at times but that is the sacrifices you have to make . And there should never be timing on when you want to have kids or marry let it all hapoen at its own time . God's timing is the best
Heidi Mapeza that may be true but that doesn’t mean a woman should rush to have a child. She may have be considering her current situation or not in the right moment. Everyone has a different situations.
I have one had her at 26 28 now would love another one waiting to acomplish more tho. I do not agree with being overly sensitive to people. Life is too short for all these sensitive stuff if your pushing 30 hurry up and try for one. If you dont want one then Fine.
As a Christian don't say thinks like I don't want children. The devil listens very well. My friend got married a virgin and for 2 years had no baby. She use to say she will never have kids when we were young. We prayed with her, her sister and I, next month she took in. Might have been a coincidence but when you are a Christian you don't do coincidences you do miracles.
Lady god said be fruitful and multiply, but it is not necessary. You can stay a virgin male or female for the rest of your life and god is ok with it. If you are a christian you need to understand your creator better.
so shes not even allowed to voice her concerns about rushing into a marriage for the sake of children, or rushing into a life decision and role that she isnt prepared for? leave her be.
It's easy to say you don't want children now, it doesn't make a difference when you're young, but when you're an old woman you'll probably regret it when there's no one to look after you!
@Tontopia. Exactly! My grandma had 5 kids, total. 3 have died from various illnesses; diabetes, drugs, cancer. The 2 left are no use at all. 1 is a thieving druggie. The other is a biopolar, suicidal nutcase who's stuck in a nursing home. This is why everyone shouldn't be so quick to have children. When a "family" has a history of poverty + mental illnesses, they definitely should not be procreating. Besides, looking for a baby to take care of them when they are old is a very dumb + selfish reason to have a child.
Having kids just to have someone look after you is one of the most selfish reason to have kids, first of all lol. Secondly, a lot of factors depend on your well-being as you age: like your financial resources and health. I know people in their 70s and 80s who are still in good health because they took care of their bodies so they don't need anyone to take care of them. And if you aren't one of these type of people, it depends on your financial resources. You can pay someone to take care of you.
My main issue with this is the complete lack of sensitivity people have with this issue. As someone who's been abused as a child, I felt a long time, like my body belonged to someone else, and so I've always found it very disturbing when people force women to allow their bodies to become a home to a baby they aren't ready for. Women should be able to own their bodies and be comfortable with becoming a mother. It's always disappointing when women push other women to have children and marry and its a symptom of a woman who has felt sheltered by patriarchy and continues to uphold it. I want to have children when I'm ready and women should be allowed to do this without rushing. And people-ESPECIALLY women, should respect our decisions. But you know-not all womenfolk are kinfolk.
Instagram: @SincerelyOghosa
Twitter: @SincerelyOghosa
SincerelyOghosa love this!!!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
If you want to have children when your physically and mentally ready that is fine. But there is alot of lies feminism is pushing that if you believe it,you are on the wrong path
👏💖
@@leilaanderson8948 How does realizing and claiming your own agency equate to feminist lies? How does listening to your body and mind make her "wrong"? If everybody was meant to have children, there would be no infertility, no orphans, no children in foster care and no abused and murdered children at the hands of their parents.
I feel the SAME way right now tbh, i think its very selfish to bring a child into this world when you cannot properly dedicate yourself to raising a child yet. So i applaud you for being honest and mature about this. I wish there wasn’t so much pressure on women around this.
I've seen SO many friends and mutual friends who have serious mental health and anxiety issues due to the fact that their parents didn't give them the love they needed, had very toxic habits they hadn't dealt with, and had unresolved traumas that they projected onto their children. Having a child is a huge responsibility-its not one to take lightly. The statements made to women like 'no one ever feels ready' aren't made to men. A man says he's not ready or he's never having children and everyone says 'okay.' Sensitivity & objectivity is needed but people don't know what objectivity is if it was lying next to them in bed.
SincerelyOghosa generational trauma is REAL. there’s no way i’m bringing a child into this world without my emotional and mental state being strong. People think it’s a joke, get married, have kids but most of these aunties that are so worried about you having kids will be judging your kids or blaming you as a parent if you end up passing down unhealed trauma that manifests itself in whatever way. The best thing you can truly do in this world is live your life for YOU, No one can really tell you when you are or are not ready for kids. Also glad you touched on the hypocrisy that some christians show.
Mental stability is very important when it comes to someone being a parent, you can provide for your children's basic needs and still be a terrible parent there are so many emotionally absent parents in this world.
Not everyone wants kids and not everyone should have kids and that is 👌
I'm 27 and dont want kids but I never tell people that so I dont have to hear those peoples annoying rebuttles. I say, yeah, just not right now. And they only say oh ok! hahaha easy way out. I'll keep saying that so people will leave me alone. It's none of their business anyway.
You will though..
It's no one's business.
im 30 and no kids... not worrying about another life ; the pressure ; the unknown .... better to go to work, pay your bills, travel and live LIFE. Biological clock ticking....... not even on my radar.... my goals and my inner peace comes FIRST by choice. I can give the same unconditional love to a puppy, or step child or an adoptive child. So many women had children and still can barely feed themself. No race when you wanna enjoy your life you know. Life is already stressful and full of pressure, why add on
Whitney J I'm 30 no kids and girl the pressure you would think they way they go on you would think I've gone past my sell by date when it comes to having kids
@@anuhassan5596 you can be successful, just have to do alot of time management... because ur kid comes first. Someone with no kids doesnt have to find a sitter for daycare so they can work the shift they want, or find a sitter to take classes they want, or feel guilty to go away to school. Most parents dont have the luxury of being successful prior to having them.... theres always a delay, even moreso with kids right? Can't just get up and go, can't just take the shift you want, can't just up and move to the state you want. But you can be successful lol
Whitney J excellent answer!
Whitney J they can be successful, but just not as successful as single people.
I have always hated this conversation, whenever a person tells a woman she should have kids, gives the message that a woman herself is not enough, to be complete she needs to produce more people, and she alone can not fulfil herself and I think that’s disgusting.
Why does the world think we have the inability to innately be enough, why is women’s existence seen as a means to an end and not an end in itself?
I know it's completely sickening to me
I totally agree with the point where you say the lady made out like you're not taking your life seriously. I'm in my late 30s - childless and partnerless - and I always feel like the irresponsible child when I'm around family members to the point where I refrain from attending family events. I'm tired of feeling like I have to explain myself to people. I'm tired of having to endure the awkward conversations where people give me advice on how to get a man and how to have a child.
I wonder why people think it's okay to tell you how you should live your life. I met a girl recently and she asked if I had children. When I told her that I didn't she told me that I need to and wouldn't let it go and then starting diagnosing me; telling me why I didn't have any. I'd just met her that day so I don't know why she thought it was okay.
Adeola Ogundele for people asking you why? Just simple ask them... well... Can you just get up and go and do whatever u want? Their answer will be no and boom! That’s why you don’t have kids, you actually want to enjoy your life lol they won’t be happy with the comment but atleast they can compare whose really enjoying life and who can’t . Shady questions deserve shady responses 🤷🏾♀️
@@anuhassan5596 well meaning... people with children are unable to do things like people without kids... like spending your money on yourself, or taking a vacation without waiting to find a sitter, or even a simple movie date with no hassle. If thats not enjoying life I dont know what is lol, it wasnt to offend anybody especially if they feel differently. To be able to come and go, travel, less worries, more money in ya pocket for you... dynamics are different ...
I would have told her straight up to mind her business.
I can totally understand where you're coming from, my mother had me and my siblings young and she was and even in old age is a terrible mother, i have no bond with her and haven't spoken to her for years, the fact that you are giving it a lot of thought shows your level of maturity, a lot of Nigerians just marry and have children for the sake of conforming, a lot of them are unhappy and live double lives, just do you, having children will not make you any happier, you have to be happy within yourself.
Great comment!
I absolutely 100% agree! I have similar conversations with my friends. I’ve never seen myself having children , especially since I feel like I have so much more I want to do! Not saying children hinder you, but why take on a responsibility you’re not prepared for ?my friends think I’m going through some phase and I’ll get over it and the “maternal” instinct will kick in 🙄I’m 27 and people start giving the side eye . It’s almost abnormal to see women my age who don’t have a kid(s) .. everything you’ve said is spot on for me. It’s your body , your life , your choice . Be content with yourself first , be selfish. There’s nothing wrong with that . Thank you for speaking your truth so open and honestly 💕
Joyce williams 👏🏽👏🏽
I'm 27 and I feel the same way about being financially and mentally stable before having a husband and kids. I'm Nigerian also and I currently feel that pressure of having a husband; it honestly worries me. One thing I would like to clarify is, the older a woman gets, the more prone the child is to having disorders such as down syndrome, autism, etc. And I also think people's fears of having a special needs child are very valid. They have that fear because they want their kids to live full lives. It's not so much a discrimination against special needs children. I'm just saying this from personal experience when working with the parents of special needs kids as a speech therapist.
BeautifullyMade 0627 sis!! Everything you said is on point.
True, but not all of the time especially if it does not run in the family, and if you take care of yourself and eat right. There are plenty of black women who can have healthy children in their early 30’s. Truth be told women who are young can have children with those same conditions. Nothing is guaranteed or set in stone. Not even life itself.
I'm at that point where I want a kid but it's not a must for me. I'm not there yet, mentally or financially not to mention I am SCARED of sex (still a virgin) and child birth. So if I have one and if I don't have one I won't worry, I just won't rush it.
You just described my entire life.
I like how seriously you take the notion of having a child because I don’t think it’s thought about enough. Kutos to you for choosing your when x
"It's always Christians" because most Christians idolize marriage!
Marriage & procreation are choices, not mandates!
Matthew 19:8-12, Isaiah 56:3-6, Corinthians 7--The whole chapter exalts singleness over marriage!
The Bible even says it: “Love your neighbour as yourself” people often misinterpret this scripture,you can not love anyone if you do not first love yourself. Take all the time you need sis❤️
This is such an important topic. I think there's a lot of people out there who think that if you don't have children, that your life is "unfulfilled" and has no meaning. If a woman doesn't want to have children, it really is entirely up to her - you're so right. Also I have Asperger Syndrome (autism) too, and I really dislike the term "special needs" as well. I do feel like people avoid the topic of learning disabilities. I've had relatives avoid me at gatherings because I'm autistic. But back on subject you're so knowledgable and I hear it in your voice how strongly you feel on this topic. You do you and set that strong foundation in your life like you spoke about. Side note: Your make up is always on point. Getting mardi gras/carnival vibes from this make up look. That purple shade looks amazing against your skin tone - so flattering. 💜
I just don’t want to have kids at all
Beatrix brown it’s understandable.
Beatrix brown same
Girl you better preach! It doesn't matter in Africa where you come from cos it is the same expectations. You could have a great career and have your shit together but as long as you are not married or have kids you are looked down upon. People will praise a woman who is married with kids but nothing else going for her over someone who has their shit together and is doing great things in her life but isnt married or have kids. Marriage and kids are placed on a pedestal in our African cultures and used to define women and womanhood. If you dont have one of the 2 or both then you are not seen as a real woman. It's a damn shame cos I feel like most women never reach that level of self awareness where they know who they are as a person, they just go along with what society tells them alongside culture.
I am in my early 30s and do not feel broody. It is an African thing. My family wants me to conceive in the honey moon period? I am single and I haven't met my God given husband yet. I would like to have some me time with my husband when we marry before having children.
I want to myself and my husband to be settled before having children. It is hard in this country to raise children. I pray God guide me
As a mother of one, dont bother about it! Live your life let it flow. Its alwayss worse to force it. It's funny how it's more important than a HOLISTICALLY STABLE PARTNER THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE A GOOD HUSBAND/FATHER TO THE CHILD tf..
Stella K LOUD IT!! For all the aunties determined to uphold patriarchy especially! They don’t hear you though!
I don’t want to bring children into this smelly world. If you’re someone of low status is pointless now.
Also not in a good financial position to
As someone who had my daughter at 17 I am so content with her at the moment. Many of my age mates who started young have 2+3 kids now and I’m just like 😊👀
Having a child young I defo felt that my life was not my own at times but I’m growing through that.
People should have children when they’re ready because life throws enough curve balls without kids. When you have them, your job is to protect and guide them whilst providing the tools to help them succeed and surpass you. Mate it’s no joke.
The positive thing about kids young is you can grow old with them !
I’m also 27, single and also unsure if I even want kids
keep ENJOYING YOUR LIFE HUN
wen you get to 60 years you will now the important
Make up your mind before your body does it for you
I feel the same way about marriage as well, society is just so backwards sometimes.
I understand where you are coming from. I'm nearly 28 and I always think about having children myself as I plan to have them in future. It's not fair how women are pressured into marriage and childbirth when they are not ready to.
I read some articles about the 'right age to have children' but I think there is none.
This video was great to watch and I appreciate you posting it. 😊❤
I for one, have thought about being married for at least a year before children start coming into the picture. I'm very selfish so I have to enjoy my husband to the fullest and mind you I'm 28 and ppl would think that's bizarre but it's telling the truth to yourself. Nobody should ever put a timing on when you should have a child, like Ever!!!!! So agree with you 💯and 10%
oh yes. I definitely want to have my husband to myself for a while before having children. And as a christian, it doesn't make sense. They say, stay celibate until marriage but then as soon as I get married I need to be pregnant. Pregnancy sex is obviously an option but I'm not doing that in my first year or so-that's just me.
"I just want to sacrifice for myself" I felt that sis ❤
Girl, I get it. I'm African too and I know what that kind of pressure feels like. It's as if you're wrong for following the path that The Most High has planned for you instead of following the crowd. It's a lack of faith and uncertainty about the future that forces people to project their fears onto you.
I really respect your views on this topic. I see no wrong in wanting children even if your not 100% where you want to be. I personally want a few children, I know I’ll have to work hard but I LOVE my job and God willing will continue to love my job which Will aid my future plans on having children.
Having said that...... MI NA WAN HEAR ANYONEEEEEE asking me when am I having kids, when am I getting married GO. A. WAYYYY.
Leah X not rude at all! I juggle a lot of extra curriculum lol I had to let something go 😢
I understand the side for woman at a certain age it is difficult to conceive but the pressure too can contribute to difficulty to conceive
Loved your video girl! I agree, having children is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly or rushed. However i feel like people promote having kids earlier mostly because that is the period in which you are more fertile.
Your finished look was so beautiful
I completely agree with you. I need to have a good career before even thinking about catering to another mouth. I've been abused so it's hard for me to even be with a man. Hard time enjoying entercouse etc. An old guy at work told me that it would eventually kick in but the thing is I used to be sooo maternal but it just faded. And like with the environmental issues arising I think it might be selfish to keep conceiving,so I might adopt. Dunno x
Siobhan Lily I don’t like men. I don’t see myself marrying and living with one. I also don’t really enjoy sex either, I see my rapists face
Tina Snow good for u
I'm 15 and I PRAY AND HOPE that future me, will not change her mind 🙄🙄
Sameee
At 15, I didn't want children either..
You aren't supposed to have sex until marriage.
Since she's older, she could get her tubes tied, if she really don't want them
This makeup look!😍😍
What you said about going to church and Abraham and all things are possible! Sis! You better preach it!!!
People should just mind their own business.
No chance for me I have social anxiety, can't even bring myself to talk to a guy also I have trust issues with guys I don't know and no where near financially ready for it.
same I'm also scared of childbirth and the physical effect pregnancy can have on a womens health and her body. I'm not ready for all that.
@@sochidala8093 as well as mental health
Your the goat CZcams really needed you sis x
Another insightful video and a killer eye makeup look I will try when I'm out this weekend 😉
Them kids could end up stealing from you lol
That’s fine you can do other stuff then rasie other people 🙄 Childfree here glad I am
Well everyone’s different.
I love your views their so insightful people need to here this more
So real! Thanks!
I really really enjoyed this. Your points were super valid and I agree you should work to your own timeline. If you choose to have kids, you should work to your own timeline.
Oghosa are you gonna do more of the bk chat recaps?? Really enjoyed them 😭
It's not easy to talk about this subject with some relatives, I'm always the "evil" sheep of the family...
So true!
Great video!! Btw where did you get your top from?
**the sweater
@Oghose .. Lovely content as usual i like the fact that you share views that are not society standards. Serious question have you ever considered adoption and what is your take on adoption in general. I ask because lets not front here the older a man/woman the more challenges come with pregnancy so it's baffling more people don't consider adoption. I understand adoption is a lengthy process but so is pregnancy , waiting on the Lord after unsuccessful pregnancy attempts is discouraging so why not consider alternatives. This idea that a woman must carry her own child is redundant because love is love , we love those who love us so can we not love a child like our own unless that child comes from our womb.
Please what lip liner is that?
Same
Wow. U speak gold
You're so beautiful
Can u talk about khloe and Tristan
Its*... especially with this whole securing the bag mentality.
👍🏿
SincerelyOghosa controlling your future is paramount and best for and when you decide to have a family. Your parents are great to respect you as you see what is good for yourself.
Don’t forget the biological clock is real , many people wait so late to have the family that there become health concerns. The family is important to society and I understand what you are saying. Too many of us never realize what it takes to raise a family there are things I would have done differently looking back. We are humans and we do make mistakes.
Lovely production once again!
You will never be 💯 ready for a child, sorry, just let the universe look after you, never say never
did you watch the video in full before making this statement? Why do you feel entitled to say what other women do with their lives and their bodies. If someone isn't ready-they're not ready. You don't know me and so you have absolutely no say over my life decisions. I don't believe in the universe-I believe in God, which-again-you'd know had you watched the video instead of making your patriarchal, ignorant statement.
Its true tbh i have a child and i had mine early i was scared that I wasnt ready but nature took its course and here i am doing a good job . I think people have the right to choose if they want kids or not cos children are a very big responsibility. You have to think of them first literally which can be hard at times but that is the sacrifices you have to make . And there should never be timing on when you want to have kids or marry let it all hapoen at its own time . God's timing is the best
Do you know how expensive it it to rear a child financially and emotionally? It’s not something one should take lightly. Look up motherhood regret.
Heidi Mapeza that may be true but that doesn’t mean a woman should rush to have a child. She may have be considering her current situation or not in the right moment. Everyone has a different situations.
lady2step1 Exaaactly!
I have one had her at 26 28 now would love another one waiting to acomplish more tho. I do not agree with being overly sensitive to people. Life is too short for all these sensitive stuff if your pushing 30 hurry up and try for one. If you dont want one then
Fine.
No one likes to talk about the fall out when you have a child when your circumstance permits!
Doesn’t*.... if your circumstances don’t permit.... don’t rush!
@@lady2step1 just my thoughts. I did not state the obvious. I did not want a back and forth.
Lol.
Iz like u want to receive slap from ya parents
Hmm. I thought you did have kids?
As a Christian don't say thinks like I don't want children. The devil listens very well. My friend got married a virgin and for 2 years had no baby. She use to say she will never have kids when we were young. We prayed with her, her sister and I, next month she took in. Might have been a coincidence but when you are a Christian you don't do coincidences you do miracles.
Shut up.
WHAT'S TRENDING WITH DELPHINE what if you’re a Christian woman who doesn’t want children?
Yeah? And if God gives you a miscarriage will you take that as a sign to stop trying? 🙄
Lady god said be fruitful and multiply, but it is not necessary. You can stay a virgin male or female for the rest of your life and god is ok with it. If you are a christian you need to understand your creator better.
so shes not even allowed to voice her concerns about rushing into a marriage for the sake of children, or rushing into a life decision and role that she isnt prepared for? leave her be.
Never say never
It's easy to say you don't want children now, it doesn't make a difference when you're young, but when you're an old woman you'll probably regret it when there's no one to look after you!
Having kids does not guarantee there will be someone to look after you 🤷🏾♀️
@Tontopia. Exactly! My grandma had 5 kids, total. 3 have died from various illnesses; diabetes, drugs, cancer. The 2 left are no use at all. 1 is a thieving druggie. The other is a biopolar, suicidal nutcase who's stuck in a nursing home. This is why everyone shouldn't be so quick to have children. When a "family" has a history of poverty + mental illnesses, they definitely should not be procreating. Besides, looking for a baby to take care of them when they are old is a very dumb + selfish reason to have a child.
Having kids just to have someone look after you is one of the most selfish reason to have kids, first of all lol. Secondly, a lot of factors depend on your well-being as you age: like your financial resources and health. I know people in their 70s and 80s who are still in good health because they took care of their bodies so they don't need anyone to take care of them. And if you aren't one of these type of people, it depends on your financial resources. You can pay someone to take care of you.
@@painexotic3757 That's one of the ADDED benefits of having a family unless you want to spend your pension on super expensive carers every week!
Thank you, they don't see the lies feminism is selling to them