Why You Need To Be A Bitch | Tabatha Coffey | TEDxStLouisWomen
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- Tabatha Coffey speaks to the importance of being true to yourself and owning it. Tabatha Coffey has devoted her professional life to achieving excellence, as a successful business woman, company owner, hair dresser, educator, motivational speaker and business consultant. Drawing on her years of hands-on experience, Tabatha traveled the country helping struggling business owners turn their lives and businesses around for five season’s of Bravo’s, Tabatha Takes Over. With her signature edgy style, tough love approach and exceptional skills as an artist and as a business woman, Tabatha is without question the golden girl of small businesses. She proves that her professional instincts transcend the realm of beauty and can transform owners and staffs across all kinds of businesses. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Being
In
Total
Control of
Herself
I use to say,
Babe
In
Total
Control of
Herself
Simps of the round table kneel at your Queen. M'lady
Shes just...STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
NO MISSUNDERSTANDINGS.
She’s my favorite kind of people. You always know where you stand with someone like her 👊🏻
B.I.T.C.H :-
B- Brave
I- Intuitive
T- Tenacious
C- Creative
H- Honest
That was so good i swear 100%
Thank You
Intelligent*
💐
kaleidoscopic boo 😍 I love that acronym!
She totally speak the truth, she's right.
If a men and a woman share the same qualities- the woman will always be the btch and the men would be a great leader,
we have to change our prespective.
Tamir O that’s cause men rule the world and they brainwashed women to believing having the qualities of men make them bitches.
Women are not respected in US society. There are 585 billionaires less then 1% are women. In a subtle way the men prefer them to be homemakers instead
@@freedom2outshine670 being independent doesn't mean to have no knowledge about taking care of home and children..
True
Thank you
I'm in tears. I needed to hear this. I am a single mother of 4 and have struggled greatly with self worth. I needed this inspiration. Thank you
Friendly reminder ur doing great u are indeed a wise women cuz u saw both births and deaths you know what to do do ittt
You're awesome!
I just saw these replies.. how kind and totally unexpected! You are also awesome my love!
Oh and for the "delusional" reply.. thank God some women can be delusional or we would just feel defeated. I'd much rather be delusional sir!
@@thisisjessiesjourney Continue to push thru. Life comes with small rewards. Focus on experiences. You'll cherish them more as your children get older. Keep going, Mama! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️ You are enough
yeah who is paying ALL your bills? just yourself ? 💯%BS
This really made me think- Women tend to be competitive when there’s really no need to be. We should be able to see ourselves in one another ... not an enemy.
But you have to consider that when you’re taught that women aren’t lots of things, and then you decide you want to be that thing- then you also must be mentally aware that if another woman is gunning for that spot then she is your most direct competition, considering that women aren’t invited so two of them is definitely not going to be OK.I don’t think it’s our nature to be So competitive. I think it is a social tactic that we use once we realize that there isn’t room for women. And it is wrong.
Be careful. It is lovely to see sisterhood. But it is turning into hate towards men in some cases. We should see every other person as a person, and support each other beyond our gender. We need to recognize each gender has its own difficulties and acknowledge them to try to make it easier for the other part, not harder. Support every other person with compassion.
So it is true, we people should see ourselves in others.
@@M2U0 "hate towards men"
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
@@M2U0 no, there´s no men in this conversation. This is in no way hate for man, are you even listen the speach? in no way this is tell anyone o take a man place or hate a man. seriously, if you dont know the strugle.... just dont make what its not
@@veromorales7517 But he didn’t say the speech is hate against men he just points out that something like this could evolve into it and that you Need to be careful that this doesn’t happen
Tabitha is a woman with purpose. Her honesty is real. She is 100% a womans woman. Thank god for people like Tabitha.
How funny that you say a "woman's woman" ....Cause i've called certain men, a "Man's man"! lol
then you areca mans. idea of a man. What can I say to you.
@@Kissy-Suzuki krod
👍
you know what? I'm jealous of her jacket. I want her telling me where she bought it.
Nordstrom ;) lol. I’m almost certain Zara makes a few different styles similar. If not, google always helps!
Don't be jealous. Google it.
Almost cape like to match her hero vibe
Lol glad to see we are starting to learn !😂😂
I'll join what ever cult she's running with that
So true..women need to lift each other up..it's heartbreaking that we don't.
Tabitha Davies true
👍
I just love this woman. I’m fortunate enough to live close to her former salon and went there to have haircuts, first with her employees, and then- her staff walked out, and she, the great goddess Tabatha, cut everyone’s hair at the same price as the employee hair stylist’s price.
I was her last appointment of the week-5:00 pm sat. It was the best haircut of my life. Long,
Perfectly blended layers. I didn’t even need to style it. She is the best at her craft, or should I say the best at her art? Yes, a true artist.
Is she have attitude or down to earth
Inshallah - More like you have het full attention as a professional., She asked, “What is it that you want?” I said, “Big and bouncy,” Then Tabatha nodded in a knowing way. She got the concept
@@susanlloyd woww sounds good wish I hve class with her
Hmm... So why did her staff walk out? That's a major factor to consider.
@@Leuka_ She didn't explain it well but she mentioned it on one of her show (Tabatha Takes Over). Just look for the episode titled "Salon Betrayal"
Women that “act” shy or innocent and are very quiet, rarely ever hold powerful positions in the workplace. Being a leader means being vocal and having confidence to speak up when you need to. Leadership qualities are not for everyone. Women seem to hold more powerful positions in Europe. They are progressive and speak with authority.
And have cats
Lots of cats,and no children,and no qualms. Good luck.
@@smokeybirdman Not all women want/ like/ should be mothers and caretakers, just like how not all men want/ like/ should be breadwinners. Imagine being so delusional that you think people can't be happy unless they don't fullfill the purpose that you want them to fullfill. You can be powerful and a leader while still being feminine. You seem very unsatisfied with your own life and thus want women who choose their own way of living feel bad too lol
@@momo-ya6061 its you that's delusional. make sure you take your medication today, we both know your on them. And drink your wine tonight to get to sleep.
Bond007 before we are men or women, we are all humans. Our happiness is about having a purposeful and meaningful life that makes us feel loved and important. If we measure our life quality with that, then there are less arguments. May you be peaceful.
6:35 “Maybe she just demanded what she wanted & made no apologies for it.”
“Promote Growth/Gain over Gossip!”
😅
"when we are looking at another woman, we are looking in a mirror"
How did this get so many likes? It doesn’t even make sense.
This made me think- Women tend to be competitive when there’s really no need. We should be able to see ourselves in one another ... not an enemy.
@@linkfromzelda1002 perhaps I can shed some light: when we look at another person, we see ourselves in them. When we look at another woman, if we choose to be critical, we are being critical to ourselves; if we choose to be supportive, we are supporting ourselves. "We're all in this together"
A distorted fairground mirror.
👍
B.rave
I.ntelligent
T.enacious
C.reative
H.onest ❤🏹🎯
I used to watch Tabatha's salon takeover. She's amazing, like the female Gordon Ramsey! Helps others that genuinely want to do better, and doesn't suffer fools lightly.
Gordon Ramsey is the male Tabatha Coffey ;))
Tabitha is better
Very valid points! HOWEVER it's possible to hold those qualities and deal them out in a toxic way.... being confident and authoritative does not mean you now have a free pass to talk down to people or be condescending or share your message in a negative egotistical way, and unfortunately some don't know the difference
THIS!!! My thoughts exactly.
So true! My old boss is a strong and dominant woman. Always speaking her mind and elbowing her way to success. But when another woman wanted to raise to her level, she did all she could to push them back down. For example telling me literally that I would amount to nothing and that I should be content and thankful for my current position, not even daring to dream of making more demands.
Now THAT, that is toxic behavior.
I thought at first she was empowering women to be aggressive and have the “slay” mentality but it was the complete opposite. Good for you Tabitha!
Fernando Rodriguez fernando manwrique
and so what if she was
And what if she was?
If you can control your emotions then it doesn’t matter what they call you……. It’s when you let your emotions control you then you get in your feels and think what people say matters
What a talented speaker this woman is.What a badass
She is exactly like my boss/leader!
She has won awards in the hair industry and and has met Tabitha. She is tuff with a very good reason. I am honored to be working by my leaders side! 😍
Love her always have, she sets a high standard for her work. She is not mean, she's direct🤘🏻
Yes!! Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. She reminds me of Kim Scott
i just freakin adore this woman
this is way I also don't mock my guy friends for being "unmanly", it's so toxic, and it limits our ability to be true to ourselves.
This we need people to learn
I have never called a man unmanly. Childish yes.
But you would never date them and women use men for attention and resource extraction.
Go do this speech in the middle east .
@@mn3142 In the middle east they're old fashioned. The women stays home and takes care of the household while the man goes out and provides for the family. In America a women can work and get an education. So they're able to hold men to a different standard then "basic income provider" if they choose to do so. Freedom.
Girl i want to say that this is one of the most beautiful speech i've ever listened to. Comming from a beautiful woman like you. It's true that the n°1 enemy of a women is another women like her
She's a woman that is about her business, I like what she's saying, I love Tabitha she's just very strong and sometimes that can come across as intimidating...
thank you, thank you so much
Wrong to not build each other up as women we need to support each other and encourage all the other women in our lives to stand up for themselves and to compliment other women because they really are being nice kindness is learned and it can also be taught.
Yes, but let's just be clear that being "nice" and being "kind" are two very different things. The latter has relevance and countenance.
People are human some women are truly awful and should be avoided but for those who you love and admire always remember to tell them. Every human deserves respect until they give good reasoning for you to avoid the toxic ones man or women
Turquoise Mollie what will you do to a male who acted that way? Belittling etc? Would you call him out? Or just ignore sch behavior?
Mary Swenson I agree with you😊😊😊😊
Mary Swenson I totally agree with you! We should be an encouragement to each other.
Brave, intelligent, tenacious, creative and honest!!!
The problem that we live in a very competitive world nowadays, thanks to social media, and people wouldn't miss a chance to bully if they have to get what they want, Or to beat u in a business or anything else.
Society would still be quite competitive regardless of the presence of social media. Yes, there are bullies who are cruel and heartless, but we are the ones who allow that negativity to enter our personal space. We are living in different times today. We need to take responsibility for our own actions and not blame other people and technology for circumstances that we can modify/change ourselves. Easier said than done, and it takes time/practice, but find your voice and, the more you speak out, the more empowered and confident you will feel and become.
True, but by thanking them for recognising you are that level of fabulous and expressing their jealousy in that manner, you are taking the power from them.
Riiiiiiggggghttttt!
Agreed. Social media destroys interlocking of close friendships and social bonding because it poses false images of pretense that everyone feels as if they need to equate to. An image is not reality. Society's ranking of important attributes is moreover false and based off of $$$ for advertising.
Part of the point is that we shouldn't bully. Some people bully and call others "bitches" because they haven't stopped to look at their insecurities, really look at themselves, and think about how to empower themselves instead of deflecting and wasting their energy. Those are the people she is talking to. And she's talking to women because we are discouraged in many ways by men and other women alike from being just assertive enough or even too assertive.
she's just straightforward and driven .. amazing individual
i've loved her since Final Cut .. she literally owns the salon up the street from me (she has a 6+ month waiting list to be seen by her personally)
It seems like a lot of people in the comments didn't actually listen to this woman speak.
Indeed. Some of them seem like only listened what they wanted to hear..
What is this woman actually speak?
Brave, intelligent, tenacious, creative, honest. I'm jealous, how can I learn from that and build myself up. This hit home, thank you for this perspective
Yes!! Sisterhood, support each other women!
The fact that women need each other's support to succeed in life proves why you are the weaker gender. Men don't need anyones support and when they ask for support they are called weak and to man up, its sad but real men don't complain because we know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, unlike the weak female gender that without support or can't function as a creature. Go sisterhood.
Jurgen Pervana women can function without sisterhood it’s just some men not all men always target us women
@@jurgenpervana3750 I don't need other women's support. Never have never will.
We need more female role models like Tabatha. Showing strength and honesty is a great quality instead of pushing others down that try to rise up. This was a great pep talk for Monday’s work, I’ll be sharing this with my fellow sisters to let them know I believe they can rise above their fears and insecurities and I have their backs no matter what.
If I could pick anyone in the world to have dinner and drink with it would be Tabitha Coffey! She is an inspiration, she’s real
Nicki Minaj went on rant about this years ago 💪🏽💪🏽... She was highly criticized! I love these women’s mentality.
Hi Tabatha, I'm from the opposite gender (man), your message mean so much to me. In 2018 many things happen and change. Thanks, I needed your message this morning. It will help me to deal with many issues I experience towards community and how I ought to conduct.
I grew up with my mother and my aunt, two of the strongest and most courageous people I've ever met. They never needed any title, name, group, definition, or such. They just were. And that's what it takes.
Great talk Tabatha! I agree on everything. As a girl, oftentimes I was made fun of by men who were honestly not so smart. And judged by other girls for being me. With a little different way of thinking. I hope I can learn to defend myself from your words. Lots of love
This is in my downloads.. And i watch this at regular intervals when i need a mood boost.. Love love her
I think the title is very misleading, but Tabatha's talk is great! It definitely deserves more views.
PlanesTrains Automobiles it’s just a clickbait but the content is great
I love Tabatha. She’s so clean cut and honest.
I wanna be like you when I grow up. And I'm 27🙆♀️. Thank you
Justineee 27 is a lucky number. You're blessed.
Stine Adventures me too and I'm 55
What makes you think you've not grown up yet? :)
Stine Adventures me too.. 28
😂
This TED talk is a whole lot of awesome. I totally believe in the sisterhood. Thank-you sister for your confidence in stepping up and putting this message out there. 💕
Joni Mitchell sang “and you don’t like strong women ‘cause they’re hip to your tricks”-‘turn me on I’m a radio’
blanche kiernan Joni Mitchell was one of the best songwriters and artists of the 60's. One of my favorites.
THIS IS SO TRUE
People don’t like me because I am confident
This is how us as woman can become Goddesses on Earth. Lets take care of each other ladies!!
Women like Tabatha come across as intimidating because they are strong and unapologetic for being just that. Go girl!
Tabatha I love you. You are one of my idols. I’ve been a hairdresser for 12 years now and I used to watch your videos and shows when I was a young hairdresser and still learning. You have made me a better hairdresser and business woman. Thank you! Much love you powerful woman
I am naturally like this but I am overly nice to try and hide it. It puts a weight on me. I will work to not be apologetic for my strength and honesty. Thank you for this talk, it is truly liberating.
Tabatha, I met you more than 20 years ago in the back room of a hairshow I was also a guest artist at the event. I was stymied at the time by your attitude and talent. I had never at the time dealt with a female artist who was so forceful. I deal/dealt with people very differently ( it has not carried me to such heights as you have achieved).
I applaud you for reaching past the brass ring for gold chalice! I am a fangirl! And this 12 minutes was brilliant!
Growth and game over gossip!!!! Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼 could not relate even more!
What a great talk. I needed to hear this message. What an amazing woman Tabatha Coffey is.
Same I think the same too.
Perfect song for this is “The Man” by Taylor Swift. Perfect.
I was literally thinking about it while watching this
Love the outfit!👍🏾
Cia Cia you definitely need a shape to wear something like that lol
A really good talk. It definitely made the audience think about their own behaviour, the silences when there should have been applause or laughter gave that away.
We all need to think about how we use language. The effects of our speech can affect others for their lifetimes.
I like the show where she help other stylist to improve their bussinesses. I think she is great at what she does, very honest and straight forward.& there re actually a few of us that have that because we think that someone else- mostly women, might belittle us. I like her. Kuddos to her good job
Thank you Tabitha, that was a flawless speech. You're fabulous, would love to get my hair done by you....you were so right on!!!!
I wish more women were like Tabitha 👏
Spit that truth girl !!!
There are plenty of us 😉
Feel free to join in the fun.
I love Tabatha she's incredibly upfront & authentic 😄
I have always loved they way you speak sternly and encouraging.
I love her so much. She is seriously an inspiration for me. I have struggled a lot with being strong and voicing my opinions as a female in the professional environment.
In other words, be less critical of ppl. They all got their circumstances.
Nope! Some people deserve to be criticised
I like her. She is brutally honest and she seems very down to earth... we share the same star sign... Anyway I respect this lady. This is great, I appreciate these kind of videos, they make us think. Thank you Tabatha. 😊
Brave..Intuitive..Tenacious...Creative...Honest
What a beautiful down to earth human being you are.
🍃🕊🍃
Hey Girl I am a professional hair dresser and I sow some of your videos you are awesome someone told me kind of like joking that I was a b**** and I answered thank you . They are just jealous when you have personality passion and confidence
I raised my hand irl at the beginning. I think I found my new favorite person!
I always thought you were awesome Tabatha!You are strong, honest,genuine and a pro so F@#$ what they say :)
papoutsothiki 🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸👎🇸🇸🇸🇸
I do love this, but I have to say men also have pressures, they're just different than the pressures for women. Men are usually expected to be the main bread winners, and the pressure to provide is huge for them. And while we wouldn't have life without women, we also couldn't have it without men. We all need each other. I still love this, she is so right about women cutting each other down. We all can do better!
I don't agree you wouldn't have a life without men. I know plenty of women who live very happily without men.
orla99913 I think she or he means you can’t have children without a man
Aimee Levens I totally agree
More women need to hear this message! Love the acronym! Thank you
I'm a man. Can I be one of those?
Yaa u can be u do what u want
Yes the baddest
@@alluripranitha noice
Definitely
@@PrincessNana08 nice!
Loved this talk.
Let’s ELEVATE each other so we can collectively be better!
I wish that my mother had talked to me about this. Alas, my life was too much like hers.
You are my hero. Much love Tabatha!
Always loved tabatha and her energy. Used to see her show about hair salons and her teaching were always very inspiring. Keep it clean, be honest and hardworking. So nice to see her again. Loved it.
Totally agree! We have to support each other, empower each other. Those who are mothers should guide daughters to be strong and independent. Chauvinism is born primarily at home. Gender roles speak for themselves. Imagine if we offer our strength to other women? It’s in us, through intelligence, common sense, respect and self esteem.
Wonderful talk! I was a devout Tabatha Takes Over fan and was delighted to find this TED Talk. Tabatha, I want to be like you when I grow up! Thank you!
I love Tabatha!! Loved Salon Take Over!
I could never understand why people wanted you to come to their salons, but they wanted to keep doing the same things that ran their salon into the ground in the first place!! I’m a stylist and have had some bad managers and I’ve been a manager. Stylist want a clear set of rules, and the freedom and opportunity to explore their artistry! As always tho, you can’t run before you can walk! Excellent primary skills have to be learned in cosmetology schools!
Can someone give Tabitha this message please.
Your perfect just the way you are miss (respectfully), forget what anyone says, it ain't your fault youve got something they wish they had....swag! Maturity, self respect, know your worth, passion, proper service, U know what to do, what needs to be done, how it should be done, when to do it and exceed limits above and beyond lay comprehension. Keep being awesome! Love you Tabitha. Bless💜
She actually made me feel more confident!! Bless her
Can we talk about her outfit 😍🤩 so classy... Thank you for this!!!!
I never, ever thought she was a B. I think she's tough and forward, like me! And that's why I enjoyed watching her show. Never think you're a B. You're just forward, and not trying to be fake and fit into the normal society standards!
THANK YOU, I needed that being a female in a male dominated workplace is so exhausting 🙃
I love Tabatha! Love her honesty and her fresh attitude 😊 She’s cool!
me too
Love her energy! Calm & fire at the same time!! Can always relate to her! ❤️
When the shoe fits, I wear it. (So glad you are back on television.)
Just she is smart, wise, direct and truth telling.
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
I loved her show and enjoyed watching her business knowledge and strength.
I think the people who click on this because of the title are exactly the kind of people who need this message. It's misleading but it will attract the people who need to hear it.
Monarise Art I clicked on it cuz I was curious to see if I shared her point of view.
You're so insightful and dead on. Excellent message. 😙
Wow, so true. Love that fact she points out the qualities vs downfalls regarding men and women. Love this, thank goodness for this woman hero!
How did I miss this two years ago! I should get a demerit on my CZcams card.
Same honestly
This Ted Talk is by far my favorite and has changed my life for the better. Thank you Tabatha for being the strong Queen you are!!!
Right! You can totally be assertive, stick up for yourself but also be respectful to others. Now if you label yourself as a “strong woman” and your definition of this is by insulting others and put others down is not true confidence, it’s insecurity masked by fake confidence. We need to build ourselves and build others up as well to be the best versions of ourselves! What makes me strong is suffering many injuries, recovering and still not give up my training in martial arts. What makes you strong? I’d like to hear in the comments! 😊
It’s called be honest. People hate hearing the the truth.
So call it a b**** or whatever you’d like but the world needs people like us.
Thank you ever so much for reminding us that we need to support each...hold each other up!
Being called anything that is meant to lessen us really hurts. It doesn't matter who says it. I love this talk & highly, highly recommend listening to it. Daily.
Loved this. Also love the swoop bob and the cape! Nothing beats a well dressed intellectual woman 💓
Love that a successful female entrepreneur, speaks her mind and is tough- and who can move the needle in their business!