Your Conversations Are Boring Because You Keep Doing THIS
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- čas přidán 9. 09. 2024
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"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
~ Lucius Seneca
That’s a bar
Chase your dreams!!
This felt like a message I needed to hear
Dam bruh this is facts all the pain anxiety, stress is all in our minds 95% of problems. Gotta be present be in reality it’s not that scary stay disciplined
bro just likes blue 😂
😂
😂😂😂😂
Who doesn't? Sht look mesmerizing
who doesnt
I don’t like blue
"people wont remember what you say, but how you made them feel"
Ty for this
@@MrRyanhimself are you tyrone mings
Thats my fear, because what if I mean it in one way, and they feel another way? 💀💀💀💀
If they take it the wrong way when youre not even verbally attacking them, thats more of a reflection of them, not you. Those people should be avoided @alexvonrom7942
Waman
personally i've found the perfect solution to dry conversations: embrace my autism and just say weird shit to people and if they reciprocate the energy then we besties for life
unironic people magnet
AKA being yourself 😊
@@youtuber-cc8sxI have a friend like that, an example: Bro my balls are tingling, we gotta go hot a PR, or, You got fucked? How hard?
Perfect approach for what is a such a difficult neurological condition 😩
We wouldn’t end up being friends because I’m autistic and wouldnt know how to respnd because I don’t know you that well and I’m not comfortable being weird with you yet no matter how much I might wanna try. Another day of no meaningful connection😂
$120 a month for a gym is crazy
Price to get people away
I’ve been to Great gyms that I paid $40 for 😂 I wonder what the heck $120 gets
I know certain gyms charge high and have only a specific number of memberships available. That way the gym isn't ever overcrowded, and the member can use whatever equipment they like without the wait time. The high cost makes up for what would have been a lack of profits due to the small number of members otherwise.
At my old gym I used to pay 120$, for a year tho 😂
Probably lifetime fitness
Your storytelling is immaculate bro
thank you bro, i gotta make sure yall get the visualss, you know what i mean !!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
@@AJ_Alliance you finna blow up bro & I’m here 4 it. This the exact typa content I need you def gon have 10k by the end of the summer keep that shit up 💪🏾
Bro reminds me of hamza🫡
True true
true he's really good at it, i was hooked lol
Getting out of your comfort zone is cool
I try to do that to develop social skills
@@pretzelschannel6595yeah! I find if get more experience just doing a thing for long enough I get better at it, just by spending time doing it and it becoming more normal. I find complimenting strangers you walk past on the street or just ask them questions helps a ton with lessening social anxiety once you’ve already a gotten a grip with socializing
Yeah I try to do this but it drains my energy so much to the point where I literally just can’t think of anything to say.
@@lenoxpIkeep going bro…the more experience, the better you’ll get. Sometimes you have to reflect back and think “I should say this next time”…you live and you learn…God bless
@@floccinaucinihilipilificationn Thanks man. I’ve been trying to step out of my comfort zone as of late and I think it’s helping but I honestly don’t know
Regret is a worse feeling than any shame your anxiety tricks you into thinking you might feel. And anxiety always makes rejection feel worse than it is... I had an unfiltered convo with a girl that caught my eye and she wasn't interested, and I wasn't remotely bothered by it. In a way, that rejection gave me more courage to approach more people.
not really well at least for me its not.
Quit hiding in you’re room and do something with your life
@@Mysterious.phantoI’m the same with most people but there was one girl that I will always regret not taking the chance with, you might think you’ll never regret it but trust me you will one day and you won’t know until it’s too late
@@Geico23your*
i have this problem where if i'm actually talking i can usually not be bothered by shit, especially if the thing i'm talking about is something i care/am passionate about. the problem is getting to the talking part lmao, i always psyche myself out even though rationally i know there's literally 0 reason to be anxious about it, it's such an unimportant conversation.
0:37 When he looked at his chest and said:
"A really big..." 💀
"...blue dress on" 🥰
Exactly what I was thinking lmfao
Maybe that’s what he wanted to say but realized he might have to record it all over again and said “blue dress” 😂
Then he would've ended up saying "I love how your eyes match your boobs" lmao
Also remember. Over stimulating makes it hard to converse as well. If you’re not able to talk about simple things and expand on it, you start losing ideas and what to talk about. Take some time to be in the moment, go for a walk, read a book. Do something that allows you to appreciate the simple. Because once you can appreciate the simple things, you’re able to expand on talking about basic things
You're totally right man, sometimes I'd feel like without words, I'm sure that's why.
Now that you talk about overstimulation, it can also happen when you talk and have had good experiences, you can open that filter a lot and it can cause you problems xD, the truth is that you have to be balanced in everything.
Yes! Allowing yourself time for breathing, just by being off your phone, sitting and daydreaming or staring off into space until you get bored helps a ton! I find absorbing too much information all the time completely drains your mental energy.
@@sirokami2992 Damn I just noticed I'm 24/7 hooked into some kind of information dump. Either i'm in the gym listening to music/podcasts or even doing dishes, cooking, doing laundry listening to information. Or on my computer doing the same, which consists of a large part of my entire life for 15 years now. I even have to eat watching something. always. Then when I get into social situations I'm just too quiet and it feels like an extension of all these quiet hours just getting bombarded with information idk
@@lCebolitosl Yes that’s what it is exactly! I’ve been through it myself. Overloading your brain with information like being on your phone or listening to music often, exhausts you mentally, hampers your imagination, and when socializing I find the conversation just seems boring in comparison. So you are totally on the right track, do and listen to less, giving yourself many moments to process thoughts and relax, and you will certainly find conversation to flow much better
Subtle art of not giving a fuck is a proper 8/10
Right
i prefere everything is fucked
It didn’t help me much tbh
@@Yessir-cz2xswhat did you dislike about it?
@@Yessir-cz2xs then you still give too many fucks.
That feeling everyone goes through 😂😂😂 when they don't talk to a girl
in these scenarios, when I come back from whatever I'm doing, she's always gone :( like I gotta act on it the first time or the opportunity is gone forever
@@hillman334 real
The amount of regret (of not having said anything) that accumulates over the years is way worse than any kind of rejection.
On January 2nd I defeated the final boss of Sekiro and a quote that I learned from the game and has stuck with me ever since while at the same keeping it in my head every time I meet or talk to a girl and keeps me motivated. The quote is 3 simple words with a lot of meaning: "Hesitation Is Defeat". My confidence has been significantly better since then.
Never played sekiro but this quote really speaks to me in really all facets of life aside from women too. Thanks for the gem 💎
FromSoft directors know a bunch about life, don't they
@@xanmarinoo No problem my friend, and yeah it's true, this quote speaks about almost everything life related in general.
No way dude I finally beat the final boss of sekiro around the exact same time! Very early January! Been chipping away at that game for years on and off. "Hesitation is Defeat" really stuck with me too. Good stuff man. Who was the toughest boss in the game for you?
@@albertornsteinandsmoughFor me that was the old lady doing magic (totally forgot her name). Because at this point of the game i didnt know much about the mechanics of the game, especially parrying. Took me about 3 days to beat her while it took me less than a hour to beat the final boss
The butterfly effect of that lady deciding to wear a blue dress that day, up until this video being uploaded is so cool.
Didn’t even think abt it like that
@@babyjesus7130 and then this video may motivate somebody to talk to their crush and they get married and have kids and so this video is the reason those kids exist
Wow that's crazy@@josephpena-nt4jf
@@josephpena-nt4jfand then one of those kids one day ends up wearing a blue dress when they grow up, and the cycle repeats itself…
Not me reading the comments instead of actually watching the video 😂🤣
Bro u got me there.
aint no way im watching this type of video broo
@@ItsridwaaanI’m 16 and I relate to your comment and the video, but at the same time I recognize this is something I struggle with and I’m planning on growing and not staying this way forever sooo, I really don’t feel as embarrassed anymore I just think of it as knowledge gathering
That just means your dopamine levels are low enough to have the inability to focus on someone words without extra stimulation. Anything can be improved though if you train yourself upon not doing things like this!
@@nato7412 or my conversation are not boring so i dont need this video. you should train your mind to not be internet driven
In my experience, what stifles these kinds of conversations are two things: 1) Low regard (including objectifying) the people we're speaking to, and/or 2) an inordinate belief that the exchange will have significant [social] consequence. Basically, the most charismatic, socially-fluid people I know actually VALUE that people have inherent dignity and intriguing parts of their histories and they also realize that no conversation result in a loss of their self-worth or welfare (spiritual, physical, financial, etc).
I do find that I struggle with objectifying most of the females I attempt to speak to, and this leads to me putting them on an invincible pedestal and then I get a cognitive blockage whereby words just don’t flow, I’m curious, how have you dealt with or what are the ways of dealing with the struggle of objectifying 😅💔?
@@flapp-jck1226 Recently it's been meditating on the fact that women have 3 main things: dignity, history, and a legacy. I think as men we focus primarily or only on the biology (sex), and disregard the rest. To be honest, I am a Christian so a large part of my position is asking "how does Jesus want me to see them (Matthew 5:28, 1 Timothy 5: 1-2). Lastly, about the pedestal thing, I had to learn that I have to qualify her as much as she qualifies me. I've met plenty of beautiful women who were toxic, so obviously none of them (even the non-toxic) warranted being put on a pedestal off looks alone. Does she have the heart and mind to go above the looks? Hope this helps.
@@rajhansakima I am also a Christian and this advice is gold because it allows me to even refer back to the Holy Book 🙏🏿❤️. Thank you so much for even including verses, I definitely needed this. My perspective will now be different… “how would Jesus want me to view them”?. Thanks brother
@@flapp-jck1226 An honor and a privilege, my brother.
@rajhansakima wise words brother. The word no or rejection is a powerful feeling of fear. But once you deal with enough rejection the confidence will grows
You avoid UMS AND UHS it shows by your speech that you know how to speak intelligently and you are an intelligent person Keep it up my friend 💯💯💯
yoooo im glad you could pickup on that bro !!!
@@AJ_Alliance i need to learn from you broski!
Elon Musk....
what is UMS and UHS?
@@popcorncheese8117My favorite color is ...ummm... red and it's my favorite color because...uhhh... I don't know.
The idea of the "filter" is pretty good for understanding why many conversations are stale and boring. It's like a default script of conversation for certain situations, like with the cashier, gym receptionist, random people. I guess you don't have much curiosity or interest in these people so your interaction just reduces to be an exchange of information. And then if some interest does spark up, it's like you feel resistance to express it, since it's against the script or might fail in getting the other person engaged in conversation. It's like a fear of people rejecting your expression of interest, or maybe a fear of coming across as weird or awkward. But its probably the case that many people will appreciate it, the interest you showed them. And then, if someone doesn't or is maybe annoyed or something, it could just be the way they are, or like an reflection of something internally going on in them at that moment. But then, if they feel aversion, maybe you are slightly at fault, maybe you came off a certain way or steered the conversations in a wrong place or something -- but even in that case, you still can observe that and improve to become better at communicating.
I guess, to improve your social skills you have to, kind of, well like in everything else, suck at the game long enough to get good.
And also, people won't peel the skin of your face and eat your eyeballs if you say something wrong or weird, "failure" isn't scary, it just feels like it is.
The key is to have a natural curiosity for people and learning. Your speaking to an entirely different person who walks around with a completely different set of beliefs and a view of the whole entire world and the only thing most people come up with is "the weather is nice". It's quite sad when you think about it but its just that everyone is so stuck in their own stories and lives and caring what everyone thinks that it just makes the conversation boring because they're too afraid to ask anything interesting.
The only tool you need for most interactions is empathy. When you approach someone, think if you were them, what would be fun to talk about? The weather? A game you don't know about? Politics? Absolutely not. I would love if someone asked me a interesting question, a funny question, something stupid, made fun of them making an awkward comment. Yet everyone avoids that because nobody wants to look weak or stupid yet that is exactly what you are doing by avoiding it. How boring do you look asking about the weather, yet that somehow is fine...? Its a completely upside down world where everyone wants human contact but nobody wants to step out of their shell to get it.
you guys are the type of people id love to be friends with hahahaha
@@obi-wankenobi1419 Very true! Oh, and, btw, how's the weather? How's the wind shifting? (a pore joke, but forgive me)
I believe it's totally true that, as you said, with curiosity, with a desire to understand and listen, with the effort to step out of your own world and enter someone else's -- deeper, relatable, more meaningful, more connecting conversations arise. Putting more focus and attention to the person talking to you. It's rewarding. It's rewarding in a way in which, even though that same attention and effort might not be returned, you still gain from seeing things from a different perspective, which in turn can influence yours. And even if it might not be returned in almost any way, you are still building that skill of curiosity for future interactions.
But in a way even this curiosity which is seemingly selfless is, at its base and just slightly, selfish. That's what I believe at least. You wish to receive the same care, effort and attention that you put out. Even if its not returned immediately, it will, through a kind of karma, circle back to you. But this feels like a good type of selfishness, a one in which some other person is in you consideration. Your play style in life is one that will get other people playing with you.
(And also, there's probably some grand philosophical debate to be had here, about the innate morality of humans, but I severely lack the cognitive calibre for deeper insight)
But what do you thing about the motivation in being selflessly curious? Do you feel maybe the same type of motivation is underlaying the curiosity, or even any effort to be kind?
Man, I truly am a person with too much time on his hands. My motivation for writing the first comment on the video was because I had similar thoughts. But the deeper thread of that motivation is that I wanted to express, sort of, my report of reality and how I understand it, and for it to be "correct" and for other people in the comments to praise me for that accurate report of reality. I guess, to validate my thoughts and consider my expression of them skillful. Have you ever felt something similar??
Thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts!!!!
@@AJ_Alliance Thanks man, that feels super good to hear. I'm on the same boat. It's also super cool to hear your personal experiences and those ideas being applied at that level. The personal examples are worth a lot, the thoughts I shared are just that -- thoughts. The boots-on-the-ground experiences have much more weight.
@@vertbyt You have such a strong sense of self-awareness, your definitely someone successful or if not, you certainly have the brains for it. I love how reflective your comments are.
I think every human is selfish at their core. It's just a matter of perspective. Are you any less selfish if you go against yourself for the benefit of being accepted and loved than someone who is rude and abnoxious and doesn't care at all? Both are doing it to get something they want its just that they have different ideas of what they want. One person thinks being themselves is more important than being accepted, another that being loved is more important than being themselves.
As for the curiosity, I enjoy being curious because it gives me ideas for my own life and my love for philosophy and pschology means I love analysing how people behave and think. Its also fun to laugh, to enjoy, feel a sense of belonging, love, care, etc. There's nothing better than to be able to share something, have support and then connect to others giving that support back. It just takes people who are very open, disciplined and loving to make it happen. Sure not everyone shows the same love back but generally people are pretty open to it, it just needs to be genuine and those who don't show the same love back, you drop. Time is of an essence.
That's called "overthinking" and i'm suffering with it too. It's horrible, you miss so much from that, but the worst part is when you go past the moment of action and the REGRET sets in... i hate it :(
I feel you man, I suffer from It a lot too, need to change
Do it many times so that you get desensitized to regret. After a certain point you'll be laughing at yourself instead of cringing.
just change ur mindset and stop feeling sorry for yourself, you need to understand that you are the only one that is stopping yourself from doing the things you want, stop thinking and do stuff instead, just say yes to everything and force yourself the feel comfortable in your own uncomfort
Here's the most simple summary of what he said:
Take the next extra step to start a conversation. Say one extra sentence that you normally wouldn't to start the flow of conversation. Open up and stop filtering yourself out of fear of rejection. Don't try to be in control of the conversation, but allow it to be flexible. Be authentic and speak your mind. Don't speak with the intention of being likable, but speak with the intention of being real to your personality and truthful to your character. The best conversations are always rooted in authenticity, truth, and connection. Oh and one more thing, make sure to listen to other people when they are talking, be patient with others, and give them room to speak. A conversation is meant to be two-sided, not one-sided.
Would suggest being the same through texting the person on the other end?
Was not tryna watch the video….gratzi
This is all true IF the conversation is both-sided, for example the issue I have is the fact that whenever I take the extra step to approach someone (which is still scary to me), usually I am the one in charge even if I don´t want to and even if I give them enough room to talk, asking them questions, trying to pick up on stuff they said, but when they tell you just yeah, no, maybe, idk - like at that point it is really hard to still come up with new things to talk about :D
real goat thanks for summarizing, Bro is yappin for 10 real minutes
Good advice actually
Lowkey I got a little social anxiety trying to picture myself in your position. I used to not be like this too idk what happened. My confidence used to be way higher than how it is now.
Might be cause you’re taking less care of yourself, or you think too much (in general). That’s what caused it for me
@@Forit26
Well I’m in the army and I’m getting prepared for special forces selection in September. On paper, I am stronger and faster. I’ve somehow managed to bulk up to 190 at 5’9 and still get a 12:45 2 mile time. I think I’ve assessed the problem and it’s just I feel like I have too many eyes on me judging and watching so I’m overthinking a lot.
Also about taking care of myself, now that I’m off training I’ve been able to get a lot more sleep, but during the SF prep course it was a challenge to get any. Especially during land nav we were out in the field and all we had was AT BEST 3 hours of sleep and MRE’s to fuel ourselves. And it was nonstop movement all day for 3 days.
@@jesuspernia8031 People underestimate the influence bad sleep has on you, if you go without sleep long enough, you’ll develop certain thought patterns that fr ingrain themselves in how you view yourself.
@@jesuspernia8031 Overthinking ruins yourself man
@@jesuspernia80311. thank you for your service bro
2. in my own experience my confidence often stems from my current life and recent activities. for example, i play sports at my hs and whenever I compete really well, my confidence in other things is boosted greatly (and vice-versa).I would guess this is because after succeeding in something, my mind fears failure less because I've already beat "failure" recently and believe i can do it again. so maybe that may applicable to think about for your situation
3. I fw the profile pic heavy 🤙🏾
I’m only 22, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned in life is that regret is the biggest killer of morale out there. You have to realize that any shame, guilt, embarrassment, or disappointment is preferable in the short term than the feeling of never trying at all haunting you for years.
I’m 23. For the first in my life about a month ago. I went into a Tom Thumbs, to go to Starbucks. The employee was so fine, built of the courage to talk to her. Talked for about 40 minutes to an hour.
Asked for her number, she said she had a bf. I felt so good that I at least had the courage to talk to her. My next challenge is just approaching a girl I find attractive. June 12th 2024
@@lawrencebello6177 good job man i hope next time it works out for you
Yeah regret kills. Although I asked a girl out and went on a date with her. I was very socially awkward due to not dating for a while and regret not being able to talk to her properly. Feeling stills hit about it after like 4 months because she was hella into me and my socially awkward/nervous ass got the best of me 🥲
@@lawrencebello6177damn you talked for an hour almost? You’d think she’d have gave a hint she was taken already
The subtle art of not giving a fuck, when I get back into reading I hope I take up this book
Do it, it’s a good read and mark Mansons funny af
Why haven't you got back into reading yet? What's stopping you?
@@zyaicobBecause he doesn’t give a fuck anymore
okay that was funny ngl 🤣🤣
@@yourstruly5013lmao 😂😂
My piece of advice is just send it. Once its out you gotta lock in. Yolo
Yeah same. It's easier to get yourself to utter the sound of the first word you're gonna say. Then just ride the social expectations of finishing sentences once you start them and you're good.
initially what I do, I don’t normally even think about it I just kinda go for it tbh, it makes all the difference, thinking on it makes me nervous and then I either don’t do it or come into it all nervous and messing up my words, I unfortunately still do the latter, but I’ve also done the opposite and kind of just went into head first without thinking on it, and I usually start out with a compliment, on how she looks, and if she shows interest in conversation we just continue on from there.
Imagine you stutter 6 times infront her of trying to say that 💀💀
Me left the game.
Ayy man, you’re gonna miss lots of 3 pointers before you become Steph Curry. Just gotta keep shooting to learn
"wasted"
Happened to me once, straight up got up and left.
me who always stutter .I didn't count
@@Totsy30 bro what? please shut up
I’ve also realized that another reason why conversations suffer is because of Breadth vs Depth on topics. Many people focus on asking the basic question/topic, and then moving on to the next question/topic, rather than going deeper into that topic. You need to get into the very theory of the topic so that the conversation becomes interesting. It’s an acquired skill, but you also need some knowledge and intelligence. I’ve seen many cases of this, where a guy asks a girl lets say “whats your favorite color?” And then lets say the girl responds “purple”. Then the guy asks a different question like “oh cool. Uhm, where do you work?” No. The guy should extend on the idea of her response - which was purple. He can storytell like “oh, did you know that back then purple was used as royal colors and a very difficult dye to make.” And/or connect that to theory like, “maybe your favorite color means you see yourself as having a personality of high standards because thats sort of what represented royalty” etc. or make her think of overall color theory like “is purple really purple? Or is that just what our eyes perceive but in reality, it’s not” and continue from there
That's what I do when I talk to strangers or people I get to know. I call it, topic stacking
@@bloodnessxI can practice this but how do i know if im asking too many questions
@@nolifezay4636 I always blend in answers that's based on my own opinion, like why I like (topic). Or a "what if" scenario for example: if I was a bear I would've eaten every person that walked by and from there you can tease the person reaction since my answer can be come off "extreme" like (🤷♂️ i dont think bears can be full that easily, i wouldve kept eating)
Or the easiest would be talking about hobbies cuz mostly and I believe ya can put in ur own personal likenesses
I would also say sometimes "tease" A bit within your question and answers so it doesn't sound like a interview
I like the way you think, Using Thencooor scheme “is reality what we see, or just what our brains can display” 👀🤔
I be doin that. You start to get better at conversation by doing this but at least for me, it’s exhausting. Always gotta carry the convo.
Kids are starting to see CZcams as a digital diary now. It'll be interesting to see how you'll change in 5-10 years looking back at these videos. I feel like a lot of young man go through the same things at around the same time and come to the same conclusions, It's like looking into a time capsule of me 10 years ago. You're on the right path kid. Looking forward to seeing you blossom.
i'm noticing the same pattern. i'm 25 atm, feeling pretty lost. did you have the same, and if so, did it change?
Pro tip for anyone wanting to get better at conversation: Just tells stories about anything, literally sit in your room and write a story about whatever random thing happened to you today, as if you were telling someone.
You know what funny people are? Theyre really good at telling stories.
You know what funny people also are? Really charismatic
Being a good storyteller is a cheat code, just practice it a bit, practice talking too, just say it to yourself in your room.
The thought of you opening your filter, and ironically filtering out the people you interact with is genius to me
Like my father said to me one time "whats the point in thinking something nice about someone and not saying it to them"
Fellas I’m 19 I have always struggled with social anxiety since around middle school. I have had my fair share of speaking to women and had some embarrassing experiences and some good ones. Upon graduating I realized that you hurt yourself more by not saying what you want then just facing the fear of speaking your mind. And I promise you 9/10 it won’t go as bad as you think. I met a coworker only a week ago and I thought she was cute. So I introduced myself and got her number. A week later we’re already hanging out and calling each other. Trust me that wouldn’t have happened had I not said what was on my mind. Take that risk💯
clapping cheeks yet?
@@Dogspine1 madness ☠
@@Dogspine1 bruh y'all unsalvageable
@@Dogspine1 not everything is about that ugh
@@Dogspine1 What is wrong with u
I finally started doing this about a week ago. I have always been decent socially but terrible with women. Within a week of doing this my best friend is now my girlfriend. My first ever relationship. I'm 35. Please don't waste your life not taking chances. You need to take risks and just go for things. Who cares if you fail in a social interaction, there are millions of other people out there. Drop the self conscious attitude and just say things! Great video dude. Respect.
You have a real gift. You will be very successful.
What I learned is that I should wear a blue dress and get blue hair to match my eyes💀😂
bro i swear it was just a coincidence that every person mentioned in that video was related to the color blue 😭😭😭
The first thought is always the correct voice. Whatever comes after is mostly fear and insecurity that ultimately blocks you from being authentic and genuine. This realization, which you discuss in the video, is unbelievably valuable.
I love your genuine energy bro
I like how your skin matches your eyes too ❤️
Quality content.
Who else’s anxiety was increasing just from listening to my boy getting the courage to tell her. One day I’ll have the courage he does🤧
Fear/worry is all in our minds, our biggest battle in life is our own thoughts in our mind
hey man.
i dont know you but i feel like i can see the real you when i look in your eyes, not just the front.
I also work as a cashier so i really related to when you talked about saying the bad minimum.
Where i work, most customers either dont speak a language i understand or dont talk at all but sometimes theres just this one person that lights up your day.
Today a really old Woman bought with us and she took a long time to pack her stuff there was a big line waiting but i told her dont worry, they can wait.
10 minutes later she came back and gave me some sweets. thinking how old she seemed and how long she took to walk and buy the candy, this is probably the nicest thing a stranger ever did for me.
As a cashier i learned to never judge anyone, i thought i had it figured out but people are rarely how they seem on the first look. would be boring if they were.
Anyways im yapping, respect to you AJ from Germany. I am goint to say that one random thing more often from now on, i wish you the best.
I highly respect people who can stay with a positive view about people after working in retail of any kind. That's admirable
@@theseangle thanks man.
its the first job i do properly and me and my family wouldve never thought i could work in retail.
sometimes you just gotta do what scares you the most.
Im glad im less anxious now when it comes to starting conversations. I realized that I have a lot to say to everyone and about everything I notice. I hate the feeling of regret when I don't gain the courage to speak up. Nowadays I'm just learning how to not give and F and just DO IT and now I find myself talking to strangers on the bus, starting conversations in gigs and sometimes having a chit chat with Grab drivers or blue collar workers. I feel like im really in touch with the world whenever I do this and it makes me happy
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck is such a great book. This actually got me better at a lot of things in life and changed how I see it 10/10
This is much better than 90% of what they teach at school
Yes, rejection may hurt. But not knowing what could have been of that interaction will always haunt you.
wise words... you're a very smart guy
I needed this bro I’ve been wanting to start more conversations with people 💯
i had something similar happen to me, and it really makes you realize that your own mind ruins your image
the subtle art of giving an F is a W READ BRO!!
The best way to start a conversation with a stranger is to share something about you (tends to be in a question), or runner up give them something to solve.
Like hey I'm really into rock n I saw your shirt, hey I'm not from around here, I like this music, I like the way your dress match your eyes. That's to start a topic because neither one of you know each other and they have nothing to work with.
Then solving could be questions you wonder, hey why is there mirrors in an elevator, could you help me with this, your clothes match your blue hair you gonna change is soon, does that look like something to you cant tell if its just me.
I feel like solving something is a runner up because it doesn't tell something about you and you can't steer the conversation into your liking, solving sets you up for just mere acquaintance n sharing leads into giving them just something they can tell about you. "yesterday I talked with a guy that really liked the music I liked n I feel like I know him" "yesterday I had a conversation about the inner workings of elevator mirrors"
The best is doing a mix of both of the solving and sharing I guess
its insane how one of these video's are actually helpful to me rn. But it's really simple yet not commonly known by a lot of people. Appreciate it man
dude i watched this video last night and finally talked to the girl in my class i’ve been wanting to for a while. I thought of a conversation starter i was genuinely curious about and thought of that photo you drew on the whiteboard and it helped me so much, thank you.
As important as this message is, I found this to be a lesson you learn on your own. Whether it’s asking someone out in person for the first time or missing the opportunity, I’ve found this to be an experience where you either regret it in the future or be happy with the choice you made in the moment because at the end of the day, whether you get the result you want to or not, you can feel happy about the result knowing that you did your best.
Bro finally turned a concept we’ve all felt into words
homie has so much enthusiasm, i'd wanna be friends with him
I like this guy, seems real
bro i couldnt figure out why and you managed to make me realize how my mindset was preventing me from being authentic thx
yeah this gent is speaking the truth 😮💨, the filter analogy is the real deal 😭
Yes bro! All you need to do is just TALK TO PEOPLE!!! The thought that made it click for me is "hey if i feel awkward, everyone else here probably does too" and it essentially became a superpower for my social life because i was just able to feelway more confident and start talking to anyone i wanted to
So simple.. yet as humans, we love to make shit soo complex and hard for ourselves ..
"what comes out is just the bullsh*t" that pretty much describes the issue. We're so caught up in perfecting and curating the interaction before making the move that what comes out is that, bull. It is as far apart as sincere as you can be, and bullsh*tting and being insencere will only take you so far if it takes you anywhere to begin with.
I mean, most do it because what you really want to say takes you backwards or has penalties.
You’re a sweet fucking soul bro. Best of luck to you out there 😊
u were so cute when u pulled up the chart 😭😭💀 thx for the advice
This is how people grow. This is a message for the next generation. Excellent video BTW
God level story teller (I'm taking notes)
The fact that this video is unedited goes so well with the concept
*presses super like button*
bro i needed this 2 hours ago, just got home after saying some boring ass smalltalk to this girl i like. Next time I see her ima tell her she fine
Yea bro, your channel is definitely gonna blow up. This is stuff I’ve never heard of before, but it actually makes sense. I used to watch Hamza (haven’t in like a year though) back when he had around 50k subs and he used to give original advice like this too. And look how his channel blew up over the last 2 years. You’ll be next bro, keep it up.
I usually dont listen to most CZcamsrs when it comes to everyday life but this guy i feel like everyone can relate to easily
For me its asking some random ass questions after just to fill the silence, it makes the convo feel so much more fluid. Thanks man rly helped
Social conversations often leave me drained. I think it is a combination of overthinking because people have complex lives, emotional attachment to mentioned topics, and biases, which lead to the combination of both. It is in my nature to feel strong respect and awe towards various things/people, I can't help trying to wrap my head around at least a fraction of life in general and people. Wisdom can be obrained from encountering litteraly anything, even a rock! I came to realize that immense knowledge is not meant to fit in human brains, we should appreciate being humans, and doing simple or at least a fairly limited extent of humanly, benevolent activities. Plants are created to be plants, animals will always be animals and humans are humanly not supercomputers or gods.
yall js remember every conversation starts with a question
Does it?
not every conversation but ye
@@sadra5968does it?
@@sadra5968 What makes you say that?
@@PlasmicDynamiteIt just did :)
Bro has insane natural camera charisma
This video randomly popped on my home page and gotta admit, it took me until my early 30's to realize this stuff.
Watched a few of your other vids and feel this is the type of content we need more of and not what generally gets pushed on social media. Keep it up!
"Tell me you're a virgin without telling me you're a virgin" Ah video
this is word for word exactly how i feel. awesome story and insight bro
You described her so beautifully I wished every guy could see things like that
i like videos like this it feels personal and i like stories
And after that initial conversation starter LISTENTING is also really important, and a skill that most of us (including me) need wo work on constantly
Amazing video! I'll have to do a food delivery shift in a couple hours and I'll try to say something extra about at least one person this time. Looking for something about their outfit, and it will be very easy to leave that conversation because I'm just working and doing the standard delivery chat as usual and I'll have to go on. Maybe it's easier when you have a clear goal in mind, like studying together and just having to do the next thing, or in your case having to scan the items as a cashier and the customer needing to leave and go on with their day anyway. This is probably like the first level where you're clearly doing something already and not just walking up to someone in your free time
also wanted to add that you pulling out that one book which I have recently just finished is such a funny and nice feeling. I loved the ending about unconciously caring about your death when you're going to die anyway so why feel bad about it
At 27 I can tell you that the only thing you have control in this life is yourself
Do your best and lean into fear. You only get one life, A LOT of things are not that deep
But it takes time to get to that place
Underrated CZcamsr, watch man your gonna go big one day
preciate the support homie
This hit close to home because I'm a cashier at Target and I've always said the bare minimum to people.
Thank you Anthony Joshua very cool
love the creativity
unfortunately not even close
I don't really have a problem with socializing I just have a problem with over-thinking
Jesus is king! ❤️
Ayyyyyy Jesus is King
what does that even have to do with the video?
@@war6nheavennothing
@@war6nheaveneverything
NO, I AM KING
2:40 Bro, I acutally like cringed just thinking about what you were saying, the imagination itself of doing it just kills me lmao.
I like this, it’s within touch with the average person.
subtle art of not giving a fxck is an amazing book
This video is blowing up, happy for u bro 🤟🏾
Fear is temporary, regret is forever
Your intonation is great bro, one of the best ive heard
happens so many times to me and i regret it so much but i keep doing it, its crazy how we suffer more inside than in reality
Man your story telling is like a anime main character 😂🔥🔥 keep it up where did you learn to speak this well
Genuinely great video bro, keep it up it’ll pay off for sure
I like how this guy presents his idea. Everything he said was something I knew before, or at least subconsciously. But it is probably lack of confidence that pushes this idea to the back of the brain, completely forgotten when you are having a conversation. Him hammering it down with a diagram (such a good presentation) really fetches charisma knowledge from the back of the brain. I ought to be more conscious of the simplicity of starting conversations while meeting new people from now on. Thanks to you, AJ. Great stuff!
Bro your the guy from Simon shredder who shared the video and bro I appreciate you for teaching us the way man
Giving strangers compliments that you mean is a super good thing to learn. It feels good to to make someones day but also gives you a geniune but breife connection with another person.
It helps with social anxiety and aslo make you more confident with people. It is also one of those things that gets you noticed by others..
Yo this is tough. But true words. I'm a delivery driver. And there is this one girl at one of my everyday pick-up locations. I really think she is cute and sometimes we would lock eyes at times or Ill catch myself staring at her in oblivious that I feel like a creep. lol but I swear, every damn time I'm about to approach her about what I've got for pickups. I look at my papers as if Idk what I'm picking up. But I try to start a small conversation. But I'd stutter like I'm about to have a seizure attack. And she would laugh and gawd damn her laugh is funny so I would laugh and just stand there like a stone with nothing else to say for next 10-15 minutes, both of us awkwardly quiet. And all I'm thinking about is "was I laughing way to loud, Did I laugh over her" or "Why did I laugh like the joker" Like bro get your shiii together. But as soon as I get my papers. The only words that come out my mouth crispy clean is "Hope you have a good day." And as I'm walking to the warehouse to get my pickups. My thoughts magically have these conversation starters and how I should say this and that. I hate this so much. But she probably taken anyways lol.
you’re overthinking bro. Just speak your mind
Yo, I read that book (The art of not giving a f*ck) , and it's amazing! Truly recommend it for people who struggle with social anxiety.
Also, great tip, starting a conversation by actually saying what you think is the biggest step you can make when you're starting your journey to become more charismatic.
Relatable story, good stuff bro!