Can you tell if a disabled person is 'faking'? (yes, Jameela Jamil) [CC]
Vložit
- čas přidán 17. 02. 2020
- #LovelyPeopleMerch ➭ bit.ly/LovelyPeopleMerch
How to JOIN the Kellgren-Fozard Club and SPONSOR this channel ➭ / jessicakellgrenfozard
If you've enjoyed this video then feel free to buy me a drink to show your support! ➭ ko-fi.com/A1814A5T
Music by Epidemic Sound ➭ share.epidemicsound.com/mvszv
Join my Discord ➭ / discord
---------------------
Dress by British Retro
Hair & Make-up- My hair- • 6 Easy Vintage 1950s B...
---------------------
My last 3 videos:
Forcing my wife to fall in love with me!- • Forcing my wife to fal...
Revisiting Where We Got Engaged!- • Revisiting Where We Go...
Impossible Lesbian Would You Rather!- • Impossible Lesbian Wou...
---------------------
This video contains no sponsored content.
EQUIPMENT:
These are Amazon affiliate links, they cost you nothing extra but they give me a little cash to feed my dogs!
Sigma Lens ➭ amzn.to/2thDWWU
Canon 70D ➭ amzn.to/2E3XdRu
Ring Light ➭ amzn.to/2N16MUj
LED lights ➭ amzn.to/2N0kVRI
Rode Mic ➭ amzn.to/2DuO6Ik
Zoom Recorder ➭ amzn.to/2tgLGYU
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
Instagram ➭ / jessicaoutofthecloset
Twitter ➭ / jessicaootc
Facebook ➭ / jessicaoutofthecloset
TikTok ➭ vm.tiktok.com/ZMJBckmfL/
![Trying to Cure My Back Pain with a Corset [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/KbXCnWGsW84/mqdefault.jpg)
![Autism Tropes in Media [CC]](/img/n.gif)
My disabled son with a connective tissue disorder fakes it. He fakes that he's well every day because he's five and doesn't want to miss out on the world.
Stephanie Rivero I fake being okay every time I'm in public. Not always completely convincingly, because faking okay is tiring and one of my issues is persistent fatigue. But your son is far from alone here!
That's incredible strength your son has... hugs and kisses from my fam to your fam
Stephanie Rivero God bless you both. That pulled at my heart.
crying rn, too real
Peace Love He is still little. Give him time ;) Children are generally blessed with more insane amounts of lil kid energy!
“You don’t look sick.”
Well, you don’t look ignorant but here we are.
Taytor Tot 🤭
Hehe I like this
Yep I use the same one.
That’s a bratz quote...
Someone’s been watching the bratz movie lmao
Im autistic and people often say “you dont look autistic”, how TF am i supposed to look autistic?😂
Same! It's so annoying
SAME I hate people who say I have a cousin who is autistic so I’m the real professional on autism and you don’t seem autistic
This happens to me too! I think it usually happens to women, maybe because we don't have any representation in the media
Same!!
THIS. I always get people saying “well, I have a 5 year old nephew who is autistic and you look nothing like him”. I once had to deal with a medical student saying that I couldn’t be autistic because he saw me at a karate class acting “all normal” so since he has medical training he is obviously right 🙄 I was like dude my psychiatrist thought I had ADHD for years before they found out I was misdiagnosed so yeah, you can totally tell what’s my health situation from saying hi to me at a karate lesson 😑
I have heard from multiple people, "you're too smart to have ADHD," and, "You are too good at managing a crisis to have anxiety," and, "You laugh so much. You're too happy to have depression." It's like they don't expect me to have developed coping mechanisms or taken medication so I can actually function and live my life.
its ridiculous how people expect 'oh you have x? you must never be happy or be able to function'
They've never had to develop a sense of morbid humour to cope with constant pain; or hide anxiety with giggling (a nervous and trauma response); they operate from a privileged position of happy ignorance. I hear you and totally understand.
"you're too good at managing a crisis to have anxiety" is the funniest thing I've ever heard because as it turns out, when like 70% of your waking moments feel like a crisis, you often get really good at weathering the storm/doing tasks through it and making it seem outwardly like everything is fine. who'da thunk. this is my normal. i've done full 8 hour shifts at work with the inside of my brain running on DEFCON 1 procedures almost the entire time for no reason. of course by now it's likely i'd have figured out how to suppress it.
statements like that really show that they're not even *trying* to understand us or what we go through. it's not simple ignorance, it is a lack of willingness to engage in empathy with people who are unlike them. they're in no place to make judgments about if we're "really" struggling with whatever we have going on, because not only do they not know anything about it, they actively don't want to.
That ADHD hit home. I grew up a “gifted” child (as most neurodivergent people) and it was so frustrating hearing “you’re just not using your potential” and “you’re just being lazy” “you don’t seem very hyper” “you focus on things you want to focus on!” “But you can sit for hours and read books! You don’t have it” like stfu. God I WISH ADHD was just I-fidget-sometimes-and-can’t-pay-attention. Life would be 100% easier and I wouldn’t forget to do basic things like eat so I don’t pass out and go to the bathroom. I would be able to socialize and have friends. I wouldn’t tic or dissociate. I wouldn’t of needed an aid when I was in high school or been in special ed classes.
It’s so irritating because I have multiple disabilities (mental and physical) as well but I only tell people about my ADHD to explain most of my behaviors. If I told them everything that is going on, I know I would just get told I’m faking it because “I don’t look like somebody who would have any illnesses.” Sometimes I dread the day I have my service dog because I KNOW I’ll get a lot of shit everyday. I hate it here
@@Trollestiatumblur I'm 33 and only now getting an ADHD assessment done (still waiting for the result). Because I did well academically (I'm intelligent) not me or anyone else though it could be ADHD too. But my bipolar disorder only explains party what's wrong with me, so there is definitely more in the picture. I've not lived a "normal" life since I was 16 because of my illnesses, never been able to work, earn money etc. Still my neighbours ask me what I work with and I just don't know what to answer. Living on disabilities when you "look fine" is difficult. I hate these invisible walls that mental illness gives you. You are unable to be yourself because you have to "pass" as "normal" in society, and then people don't believe you when you finally tell them you're ill. I hate it!
This whole "faking it" thing also creates this devil in your shoulder that makes you constantly second guess if you are "ill enough" or if the pain, discomfort, etc you are feeling is "real enough" to deserve treatment or to look for help. It is ridiculous.
precisely. it's a very very VERY damaging mindset ://
I have to take a crutch with me on my commute to work every single day for fear people will judge me for sitting in the reserved seating for those with mobility issues. I don't NEED my crutch all the time. I can walk some days just fine without it and only feel a twinge.
But I also cannot stand in a moving vehicle without suffering the consequences later due to my knees cracking at every turn and my spinal muscles straining from being on my feet longer than 10 minutes. So I need to sit and, in a crowded train, finding a seat at all without that damned crutch is nigh impossible.
I have found NO ONE will stand, even if I am sweating from the pain or whimpering or falling flat on my arse. But present the crutch, and up come the butts off those woven seats and so many make it their duty to make your day a bit easier while loudly judging those who do forget I exist anyway (the usual jerks, you get them everywhere). Suddenly I am welcomed to sit and get a small smile and every day I get a new person asking why I need it at my age.
I am even scared not to bring it to the shops as I need to sit a lot and people will NOT stand if the bench is full...unless you have a visible crutch.
I hate it. but it's needed :(
Paulina Arango am I going to be fired for having to fallout due to my disability bc I’m not “disabled enough?”
This is really accurate. My whole life is a big question rather i am depressive or not, cause "you look so happy" or ADHD cause "you're so smart" and look at me now, extra depressive and extra anxious
That one gets me a lot. I realize it really is that bad when I can feel hot spots where the pain is worst and other people can feel them, too. Or when I'm trying to do something with my hands and they stop functioning.
You cannot power through some things and it feels weird not to be able to see anything clearly wrong.
Honestly how privileged do you have to be to start claiming that someone has “too many” illnesses and therefore must be faking??
I describe myself as a bingo sheet, I am not faking my life is so surreal I believe the aliens manipulating the world were having fun with me
When the illness doesn't add up, when there is no medical proof when the stories dont match oh and when Munchaeusen (idk the right spelling) Syndrome is a thing.... I know many people who probably have their own drawer at a hospital it is possible to have many illnesses but they need to make sense and have the stories consistent
lihshi illnesses doesn’t necessarily = disabilities. An example in Jameelas case is she said while filming she fell breaking her nose, 3 ribs, her elbow, chipping a tooth and getting a concussion but continued filming anyway yet when watching the videos it’s clear that at very least some of these things aren’t true as there was no bruising around her nose which also looked fine, she was able to walk and sit upright which would be near impossible with 3 broken ribs and was able to bend and move both of her arms again inconsistent with breaking an elbow
I don't believe Jameela Jamil.. Not because it's "too many things." That's ridiculous. But because of the inconsistencies of her stories. For each illness she reports, there's about four to five different variations: She was in a wheelchair for a year, she was in hospital for a year, she used a cane for a year... She's not even consistent with her stories which makes me draw the conclusion she is lying. She's "deathly allergic to peanuts" and then is shown eating peanuts on her Instagram story a year later... Makes me think she forgot to keep track of one of her lies. My favorite is the one where she says she broke several bones and a rib right before taping an interview years ago and then someone found the old footage of her talking and moving and... No, she didn't. She wrote that off as "adrenaline healing her broken bones momentarily." Yeah... Okay, Jameel. LOL.
I don't think JJ is the same as the woman who made this video or anyone else with unseen medical conditions and disabilities... I think JJ lies constantly and with the internet it's easy to line up all the inconsistencies. So I think it's important to focus on why there are those of us that don't trust her specifically.
Daniel Edgar no it’s not fair to focus on just those who don’t trust or believe JJ because that would be biased. i believe her. i’m not saying liars don’t exist but i do not believe for a second that she would lie about anything, especially as serious as the things you are implying she is lying about.
The "standing up from a wheelchair" fear is something my mom actually deals with. She recently had to ask for a wheelchair in the SLC airport because it's so big, and she was scared people would notice that she could walk after the wheelchair or that she was walking before getting on the plane. What people can't see is that her walking gets progressively more painful. So walking a mile just to get to the baggage claim wasn't an option. Plus flying makes her feet worse and our flight landed at almost midnight (after a full day of walking). Sorry, that rant is mostly for my sake. Its frustrating to see someone i care about be afraid on top of real pain that she can only do so much about
I have joint hypermobility resulting in chronic pain, and I can relate to this. I felt like such a faker, walking several blocks to a grocery store only to use a scooter in the store, but what people don't realize is that a) walking that far had gotten me to my limit, and b) standing still is worse than walking for me.
Traveling while being disabled can definitely be horrendous. People don't believe you without a visible sign of disability. I've given up on traveling without crutches because even if I don't always need them, if I have to stand in line because people don't let me skip ahead and don't believe me, I will definitely need my crutches to walk by the end of the day. And if I do take them, then I probably will be able to walk without them by the end of the day if it's a good day.
This is why I rarely used my wheelchair outside
It's so frustrating that people need to be taught to mind their own buisness re illegal "policing" of other peoples disabilities the hard way.
I know someone who needs a wheelchair generally who has climbed a friggin mountain
I hate that the more a disabled person tries to blend in, the more people expect of us. People expect me to be able to do everything a neurotypical could because I can talk and gesture like a neurotypical without realizing just doing that is taking all the energy I have. Then they say I’m faking :’). And that’s why masking is bullshit.
I experience this a lot too! Especially because the times when I'm struggling the most and look the least normal are the times when I'm least able to explain myself. Like when I get overstimulated enough that I stop being verbal. If someone starts talking at me, expecting a response, there is literally nothing I can do for them. And it unfortunately happens a lot, depending on the person. Even several close family members of mine don't get it, and they'll make things worse or get angry at me when I've just completely shut down.
@@dragonflies6793 ExactIy! I get so frustrated when suddenIy I'm getting a stern talking to because I didn't say pIease when asking someone to stop taking to me when I'm overwheImed.
I was getting out of a car and into my wheelchair once and this old guy said loudly "laziness isn't a disability" and i said back, maybe louder than i should have "but spina bifida is" i still remember him walking off rather fast, red faced 😅😁
Hahaha no, you should have yelled it just as loud as you did. It was a learning experience for him, and I don't believe in protecting people from humiliation when they are the ones making fools of themselves. good job. xD
What the heck
Fellow spina bifida person here. I get the side eye all the time when we pull into disabled spaces. Getting out of the car and walking with crutches sometimes makes them reign in their disapproval, but not always.
Kickass and hilarious retort! 🤘🏻
should have said "ok, boomer"
Jessica: “am I looking my best right now? no”
Also Jessica: *looks like the muse of a painting*
ha ha you are too sweet, thank you!
Literally my thoughts exactly lol
She is too powerful if this isn't even her at her prettiest. We are not worthy seeing her at her actual best
Facts 🙌
We are not worthy of viewing this angel in her true form
As a disabled person I'm gonna let all the abled people in on a secret *we're faking how well we feel and pretending our pain isn't that bad not pretending we're disabled*
Yep. Like yes, I'm faking feeling well right now because I'm sick of being in bed.
Wheelchair "faking" is such a common and widespread belief, I think, because the wheelchair scam is way too common in medical dramas and the scammer is caught out when they suddenly stand up either out of anger or fear.
THIS! Literally this.
My friend needs a wheelchair but doesn’t always sit in it, instead she mostly stands pushing it but she does need it or need to lie down a times for her back
@@randomstyle1447 plus sometimes it’s helpful to have something to lean on a bit! And you hope you don’t need it, but if you do you know it’s there and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Yeah the media is crap to disabled people in general
In the UK I think the series Little Britain may have inadvertently done a lot of damage in that way.
I laughed at the idea that you can have “too many illnesses.” If you know anything about biology you would know that just one chronic illness constantly strings along other side illnesses and health problems.
Exactly. If you have one auto immune disease, your body is attacking itself. You're predisposed to have more. Family history is also an indicator.
True! It seems like some people think that organs work in a absolutely independent and compartmentalized fashion, while one disease affecting primarly one organ (say, chronic hepatitis) can be the basis of other 10 extrahepatic manifestations and increase the risk for comorbidities... this doesn't even take into acount *syndromes* like Elher Dalos which, as the name implies, cause a constellation of different clinical manifestations
Yes, very true! Sometimes the medicines given to you to treat your illness lead to other illnesses and the surgery and procedures you need lead to complications as well.
and it can VERY true for mental illnesses and developmental disabilities too!
the "too many illnesses/bad events for one person" gave me a good chortle.
“You’re too young to be in pain” and “You’re too young to be so tired, wait until you’re my age” is just some of the bullshit I’ve gotten, even from family. Bottom line is, you don’t know another person’s pain and you don’t know what they’re dealing with in their life. Everyone suffers in their own ways, everyone’s pain is valid.
Especially from family. Being chronically ill causes me such guilt from inconveniencing my family and coworkers. Even though logically I know I shouldn't feel that way. Even though my illness is comparatively minor compared to so many others'.
My boss used to tell me to lift things heavier than my capability. I'd tell her I have severe back pain ( I have scoliosis) instead of saying she understood my boss went " you're too young to have back pain." I didn't want to argue with her so I did the task. Of course I ended up more injured afterwards. I wasn't able to work for a few weeks, because the pain was so severe I couldn't walk. I should have went with my gut and still said no. I just wish she didn't tell me I was too young to have pain to begin with.
I hate “you’re too young to be tired.” *Babies* get tired and no one is saying that to them, so why on earth is it okay to say that to someone in their 20s?
I spent a lot of time pushing past my limits because I didn't want to feel like a burden to others. When I was exhausted I considered myself lazy. Part of that was refusing to acknowledge my disability as a disability. Part of it was not realizing my exhaustion had to do with my disability. And part of it was being deathly afraid that people would see me as lazy (an accusation I am still extremely sensitive to). So I had to reevaluate a lot when I almost burned out at age 25.
Learning to set clear limits for myself helped. Clearly communicating helped. And working with people with similar disabilities really helped a lot. And one of the things I learned is to listen to the opinions of those with different experiences and take them seriously.
@@SweetDemongirl97 never let your boss do that you ever again. Your own life and health is so much more important than keeping up appearances for you superior. Bosses will always try to push you harder, no matter your capability. It is our responsibility as workers to say "stop".
"Some wheelchair users can walk"
Makes sense, though I never thought of it. Some glasses users can also see without glasses. Even up to "100%" (= reading smallest letters on vision test), and enough to drive a car without. Myself for example. I've had a few people and even doctors react very confused to that. I can strain my eyes enough to se all clear. Just not for long, without being rewarded with headache and sore eyes.
I suppose we can do many things for a short while, if a situation nessesitates it, that we wouldn't be able to keep up long term.
At least you're open and accepting about it! Seriously, that's above and beyond so many people.
I had a boyfriend (now ex, who's not in my life for many reasons), who came home one day absolutely *livid* because he saw someone in a wheelchair stand up. It took an afternoon of calming him down and explaining that people use wheelchairs for a HUGE number of reasons... Until he eventually came around and understood that even if someone can momentarily stand, it doesn't mean they don't have some variety of issues or illnesses that can make walking difficult, painful, harmful, or dangerous.
I also spent a day with him when I had to explain how Disability Pride was completely different from Wh*te Pride... but that's another story for another time.
Hadn't thought of that. Thanks for commenting this, now I'll keep that in mind! :)
If it helps you understand. Some people who faint randomly may use wheelchairs because then if they faint they're sitting in a chair and not hitting their head on the floor. Same with people who get waves of dizziness, have bad knees or hips, etc
@@swvsnick Thanks, that's greatly appreciated. Good point that makes alot of sense. I've had minor issues with dizzieness, light headededness and fainting myself. I can see how it would be a help for someone having such conditions in a less minor more impacting version.
Exactly. I CAN drive without my glasses, though I highly doubt I SHOULD.
"She has too many things wrong with her so it can't be true"
Me: Asthma, Severe eczema, Creeping leg syndrome, Endometriosis, OCD and to top it off, a dictionary long list of allergies....
Is my life a lie?
Yep… no not really I’m just kidding.
Allergies, asthma, and eczema typically come in a 3-pack. My allergist calls it: “the trifecta”
@@FlabbyDouglas Yup, they mostly come in a lovely bundled package. How pleasant.
@@FlabbyDouglas I never knew that but it makes so much sense! I've had all three of these since I was a baby, though I don't have eczema any more (just very sensitive skin that gets pretty angry about straying from products I know are safe and that hates sunscreen)
That's actually really interesting, glad I came across your reply :)
@@jordanm3598 Yup, I'm pretty much the same except I still have my eczema and my mum is also the same.
Although, there's a new medication for severe eczema sufferers that came out last year. It's called Dupixent. It's been a miracle to everyone using it.
But it started out as a new medicine asthma sufferers and they found out it helps with eczema too. So, it helps asthma and eczama like a a 2 in 1.
Which leads me to believe that asthma and eczema must be caused by the same thing or something similar ...
“Being mean to ‘fake’ disabled people doesn’t make you an ally or hero to ‘real’ disabled people,” no, I think that it generally makes those “real” disabled people afraid that you’ll decide that they’re faking next
It 100% does. I have 2 different chronic illnesses and I already feel apologetic and guilty about having things changed or altered for me. When I heard about this issue, I immediately wondered who in my life might think I’m faking it or exaggerating. That’s my fear because I feel horrible most of the time but I’m FAKING trying to feel better. Nobody wants to be the mopey, sad, sick person.
I've had family members actively question it straight to me! They're like "do you have that one disease that causes you to make stuff up?" I'm like no I've been dealing with this since I was younger then you! And would press on with their insistence I must be faking it! Ex friends also can't understand they hear my symptoms listed out and think no way you look healthy. I feel awful having to have accommodations done.
destroyraiden it’s amazing how much unnecessary guilt can come with having an invisible disability/ disorder/ disease
It does. However, people who fake or even exaggerate. Especially people who do have chronic illness but make it more serious. They DO do harm to people with disabilities. I have a very rare genetic called NF1, I don’t give a fuck if people,think I’m faking because who FUCKING cares. If they are thinking I’m faking it doesn’t matter. However, I’m annoyed that often people take over the space of people with more serious disabilities. As people with very serious disabilities are too busy fucking surviving to be advocates. And think some are giving us a bad name, because of how they come across, and it leads people,to think they are faking. And then everyone faking
I used to worry about judgement from strangers and "co-worker friends" regarding my perceived "lack of disability or pain" but I eventually came to the realization that the only person whose opinion on my health actually matters is myself, my loved ones and my general doctor and specialists, and FUCK the judgement of strangers and so-called friends who aren't actually friends, I know I'm disabled and will always be so and I should put all my energy into making my life better despite the handicaps life threw at me, and I also embrace my uniqueness to say a big "fuck you" to all the people who tried to tell me that I will never amount to anything and should just kill myself (IMO this is a far healthier mindset for anyone be they disabled or able-bodied rather than worrying about judgements by ignorant jerks)
I thought she was going to say that she didn’t call an ambulance because it would be too expensive.
And then I realized: ah, she’s not American
Well, ambulance is not expensive but the meds on hospital seem to take long
No, she didn’t want to go to the hospital because socialized medicine means she can’t get a cup of water without waiting for four hours.
@@irishartn anywhere you go they're going to make you wait. They won't let you eat or drink until they know what's wrong with you.
SAME
Iris H ha they do that in America too and then charge you for it
Spent my whole life complaining about chest palpitations, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, short of breath at night, etc. I was told it's common because I am tall and a girl, and was just generally dismissed by all doctors.. Well, last year I fell down the stairs and needed surgery, and low and behold - I have a heart defect. I am missing a heart valve. Need to get replacement surgery. New doctor gave me crap for not getting it dealt with earlier. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Sadia Afrin Doctors were pretty vague, one specialist told me I would need surgery in anywhere from 2 to 15 years. They somehow lost my most recent echocardiogram. Did some stress tests and was told to come back in a year and to try manage my stress haha. I keep a journal of how I am feeling and what triggers sensations so I am prepared the next time a Doctor tries to minimize my problems. Valve replacement surgery sounds scary. Did you get a timeline on when to expect your surgery?!
I'm currently working on trying to get some sort of diagnosis for my own heart thing. I have similar symptoms but my heart likes to skip sometimes. After a bunch of testing they just said I have a "Heart prone to fluttering"
@@pinkaypinkpink I would go for an echocardiogram every couple of years bc docs dismissed me for years up until I needed surgery. (I'm in Canada so that's free for me though.) Now that I have seen a specialist, it's given me a lot of context for things I experience. "Heart prone to fluttering" sounds dismissive to me, like the "feminine hysteria" of the past. It should be taken seriously as heart conditions in women are often undiagnosed bc its associated with men and they are the default. I keep a journal now for whenever I experience anything health related just in case. Good luck!
@@sharonloisandbramstoker I live in Australia so they're free here too. I have done a halter monitor and many other tests but they refuse to do any sort of stress test. I hope I'm able to find a doctor who will listen eventually
My doctor said I need to do push ups. 🙄
it’s such a physical relief to click onto one of jessica’s videos and switch from the stupid auto-generated captions to the proper ones. thank you for giving me a break from lip reading 💕
I love real captions too!
Real captions are a blessing to me!
I'm hearing disabled (hard of hearing), and the captions Jessica puts makes it so much easier to keep up with what's being conversed about (rather than sifting through the YT auto capt.)
I appreciate the real captions too, even when I'm not listening in! It's nice to be in public without headphones and still understand the entertainment on my phone (w/o audio)!
I'm hearing but neurodivergent and I almost always go without captions because of how shit they are. These videos make me realize that, when done right, captioning can actually really help me out in being able to focus and understand what people are saying. It can be easy for me to lose focus on what I'm hearing, which I guess is a processing thing, but having the captioning that allows me to read it even if my audio processing ain't great (and allows a delay since the words stay on screen) really really helps.
auditory processing disorder is a piece of work, i LOVE real captions, helps me relax and let my brain rest from wwwwwhhhhiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrr trying to figure out what they were saying
“Being mean to ‘fake disabled’ doesn’t make you an ally to ‘real ones’.” 🙌❤️yes thank you!!
"Being mean to 'fake' disabled people doesn't make you an ally or hero to 'real' disabled people."
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I was accused of faking and some guy I know was withheld pay for being seen as faking it, and for people who can't access diagnosis, or as was mentioned, don't carry around a whole medical file, people should still be listened to. I wish I was, and even now, I have a hard time with invisible disability. I feel like if we had more respect for disabilities and the needs of people, then people wouldn't feel the need to fake anything, or be seen as fake.
@@jlbeeen I'm so sorry. I have several invisible disabilities. Unless I feel like explaining my entire medical history (as if I _ever_ feel like it) I get written off as lazy or hysterical.
I also don't tell most people I carry around a foldable cane in my bag at all times... but when I actually use it? Night and freaking day. Strangers go out of their way to make space for me or give up their seat, and people who know me personally freak out and ask "What happened!?!" when I've already told them about my disabilities! At this point I just say: "nothing new!" because I've _already told them_ and, really, in that moment? I don't have the energy to explain it all *again* when I don't even have the energy to keep myself upright without assistance...
@@jlbeeen Wish I had a link to a study I once read. In the study, they found that people often slowed down before becoming disabled by chronic illness and they themselves would wonder if they were malingering. I think this shows the influence this sort of belief has in our production oriented society, and the fact that people generally have to get quite sick before they can secure a diagnosis.
YES
@@MsFuzzipoo Yes, I use crutches intermittently and I am so tired of people asking me what happened as well when they already know I am disabled. Even if I did bother to explain, it probably wouldn't make sense to someone who isn't disabled. And I know that my answer isn't the one that they actually want to hear.
You see I've been using crutches for the past three weeks because I went Christmas shopping for an afternoon and that tired me a lot. Or because it's near the end of the year and I'm just tired. Or because I got a cold and it's tired me so much. Or because I was feeling great lately so I guess I walked a little more and my body isn't used to that so now I have tendinitis.
As an ambulatory wheelchair user myself, you truly encapsulated that feeling of dread when you go to stand up. I hate feeling like I need to justify myself, but I instantly feel the need to explain that yes I CAN physically stand but within minutes the nerves in my feet will begin causing me horrendous pain.
Man some of the willful ableism in the comment section is outstanding. Jessica explained the situation so eloquently and it hurts me to know that this video just went through one ear and out the other for so many people who remain pressed about accusing disabled people of “faking it”. Living a life constantly thinking that most people who are disabled must be deliberately deceiving you to take advantage of resources must be fucking exhausting.
I agree, but at this point you can't tell who's faking and who's not because of the many people faking it for clout. I think the point is "mind your own business and don't accuse other people of faking if you don't know anything about their life". I'd also like to add that there is an embarassing amount of ignorants telling people in wheelchairs that they're faking because they can walk sometimes. Those people just don't know how disability works and are really stupid.
@@blair478 💯
People don't seem to realize that disabilities and chronic illnesses never show up alone to a party. They bring an entire clown car of friends. Which means if you have one thing wrong with you, you'll soon have like 50 things disabling your life. And yes, the situations that you consistently experience as a result are unreal.
ladymirth yep it sucks I started with allergies as a child, then came eczema, then asthma, then celiacs, then RA and scoliosis all because my immune system is hyper reactive and attacks itself, I dread what system will be its next target.
Amen!!! I have RA, fibromyalgia, migraines, depression, seizures, eczema, hypermobility syndrome and the list goes on... it’s almost like doctors would have to go to an absurd amount of school just to... oh wait.
Exactly. After having heard the "no one person can possibly have so many things wrong about them at the same time and seem fine" thing a few too many times, I've just stopped telling people that there's anything wrong with me unless it becomes absolutely necessary for them to know
@@sebarus8108 have you experienced the; (hushed tones) "Darryl just told me about your (insert medical condition here) I had no idea! You're so brave. No really, I mean it! You're such an inspiration!"
I realise that all falls apart if you don't know Darryl - but you get the idea.
It's the flipside of "She's faking it, you know. She's just doing this to get attention."
You can only be an angel, or a demon, with people like that.
@@lillynichols9884 Not as frequently, but I've heard that a couple of times after my disabilities caused me to not be able to attend college for a while yeah. And like, I'm sure they mean well, but it just comes off as patronizing. It's almost like your disability is a bigger deal for them than it is for you. Like it's just a regular part of life that you (not you specifically, but more like a general you based on my experiences and the experiences of other disabled people I know and have spoken to) don't really even think about that much, but for them it's somehow something awfully tragic and horrible and you're just there like "noted, can I just go back to reading for this exam now?"
A lot of ablebodieds have such weird reactions to disabilities.
When a professor accused me of making up a pain condition: “I’m so glad my semester of acting has paid off so I can act like you aren’t a moron.”
Yes, I eventually brought in a note from my doctor. And an attorney.
Hell, if I say shit like that, I'm accused of being "socially inappropriate" or "rude" - apparently it's *not* rude when someone gives you crap but it suddenly *is* when you tell them to FO.
What jurisdiction did the professor even have to try and say you were fibbing? Were they confusing their doctorate in english for actually being a doctor?
I had a professor in high school that told me to go do some stretching because I was sprawled in the chair while he was teaching. All teachers knew about my painful scoliosis, none were as mean as him. If stretching took the pain away would you let me hear your class while I am doing it? Till this day I get pissed remembering the scene.
@@MissSeraphine I have scoliosis too and those teachers were the worst. A few of them like yours just asked me why I didn't sit straight and like... you know about my condition, why the hell do you think? Also I'm pretty some of them thought I was faking it before I got the surgery because I just came in with a doctor's note one day explaining my condition. They were confused bc I had never complained before, but that was because I had been told for a long time that my pain was from growth spurts and it was perfectly normal.
The worst by far was my gym teacher that constantly asked me why I couldn't do something (and sometimes even tried forcing me) when it was explained multiple times to him by me, my parents and doctor. I honestly just think he got a kick out of bullying a teenager.
Edit: Sorry that was a rant™, feel free to ignore it 😅
This is the first time I’ve ever felt like commenting on a you tube video. Your video really made me think. I constantly judge people for parking in disabled parking spots. I’ve been very ignorant of all the issues you described in this video and I feel genuinely ashamed of silently judging other people whose lives I know nothing about. Thank you for making me think. xxx
Thank you for judging in silence. (I’m not being sarcastic).
@@pamelagonzalez8947 I just don’t judge now. Do you mean that it’s better to judge silently, than to accost random people and demand to see proof of their disability? I suppose, but it’s still toxic really. I’m just trying to be a better person these days. The last two years have taught me that you just never know what someone else is going through, and small things you do can either have a horrible effect on someone’s day, or make it way more lovely. Today, a lovely lady gave me a £1 for a play digger for my wee boys as there was no cash machine around and the place didn’t do cashback. Such a lovely thing for her to do and it made my day, and my boys’ day too.
The other day the binmen brought my sons an Easter egg each as every Friday when the bin lorry comes to empty the bins, my obsessed wee boys wave frantically at them and shouts thank you for emptying our bins!
I just thought that was the nicest thing!
Every so often, if I’m in a drive through queue, I’ll pay for the person behind me, especially if she is on her own with kids in the car.
Everyone needs a boost, and no one really knows what anyone else is going through.
Life can suck sometimes, and the last two years have been terrible for everyone. Hopefully we all have a little more understanding of one another. xxx
Thanks for listening and being willing to learn :) I hope that more people gain those qualities
I didn't even know Jameela was disabled prior to this. I look up to her even more now. I don't have an *invisible* disability, but I'm very much disabled. If it wasn't for my service dog I would have very little independence.
Jessica:
-Eyebrows done
-Eyes and Lipstick done
-matching dress (?) To headband
-cardigan that pairs well with headband
-necklace that goes beautifully with the dress neckline
Also jessica:
"I'm not looking my best today"
Even if you don't feel amazing, please know that the people supporting you think you look lovely today! ♡
+
@@emmynoether9540 ?
Right!? When I say I'm not looking my best it really means "yes, I'm aware I have 3 day old makeup on and my hair is greasy and unbrushed. I dont need you to point it out" which usually comes when my migraines knock me down for a few days or when my heart keeps me in bed for days. Her version of not looking her best is my version of glam lol
@@Marigold11037 the + is a way to say "i liked this!" in a way that the "top comments" algorithm understands because the thumbs up button doesn't really do anything. i think the vlogbrothers might have started it
She looks absolutely amazing. I know she suffers with a lot and that she can still manage to do all this inspires me. I know she doesn't want to be an inspiration specifically, but when I'm at my worst (unable to get out of bed because of pain for example) seeing Jessicas videos help me see that there are less bad days and that it is still worth fighting
Physical and mental illness are usually take 1 get 6 like it's a bargain 🎉
I've been collecting invisible illnesses for years! Pretty soon I'll have the full set!
I have only recently learned that you aren't supposed to treat them like Pokemon ("gotta catch em all"). Wish they would have told me that sooner or I wouldn't have so many.
Then add in the random side effects of the medications.
Can confirm. I've been slowly accumulating all of the mental and physical health issues my parents and grandparents have. Autism, ADHD, IBS, acid reflux, chronic back pain, and various other things I don't think I have a diagnosis for. Just... why do these things come hand in hand, and why can't I return the physical health ones and trade them for motivation to do things or something like that
Jessica: Am I looking my best rn?
Me: ye-
Her: *no*
Me: 👁👄👁
I think that because her default is 10,000x better than the rest of us can hope to achieve, it’s hard to tell when she’s not feeling well and just powering through because she’s so dedicated to her work.
@@corneliastreet2491 yeah very well put
I swear she looks good in every color!
@@atree9284 gingers are magic like that. She even goes a step farther with her red red hair.
I'm just taking this as actively not putting limitations on yourself. The best is *always* yet to come 💁🏼
"You're too young to have depression and anxiety, you dont know what that actually feels like"
"You cant have PTSD, you werent in a war"
"You dont get motionsick from Minecraft"
Felt that PTSD one on another level. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 14 (I'm almost 21 now) and my parents still don't get it why I have panic attacks once in a while (even though I did a research on PTSD and explained it to them like million times). Also, I had a situation where a person asked me how is it possible for me to have PTSD when I'm so young, bassically saying that I haven't lived long enough to have a traumatic experience
@@jovanaputnik4170 yeah, my dad gave me ptsd but people look at me like I should be over it since he's gone but even seeing a license plate with his state on it freaks me out lol
@@kitkatty52211 Because people don't understand that PTSD can't be cured since they don't know how it works and how much it actually changes our brain.
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who will understand you.
Oh, and mine just told me whatever trauma I experienced shouldn't be effecting me in anyways as what I experienced is not big of deal and I'm just perfectly fine. Wow. What a fun group I have found.
Yep, I've had "the only way to get REAL PTSD is to have fought in a war," too. Along with "you just need to remember the things that trigger flashbacks for you all happened in the past, and aren't REALLY happening RIGHT NOW." Wow, cheers, genius, thanks for completely curing my PTSD with just one sentence of 'wisdom' that I'd have NEVER thought of on my own! When are you going to eradicate cancer and solve global warming for us as well?
How to spot a faker....
STOP
Get a real hobby! Learn to spot a Red Crested Woodpecker.
Love this!
A+
learn a new language!! or idk, something else :D
Such a cute comment 💕
Also look out for the Blue Footed Booby, the bird that spends all its time trying to prove disabled people are "fakers" 😅😅
"Am I looking my best right now? No. Am I feeling my best right now? No. Am I deeply offended by something I saw on twitter? Always"
-Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, 2020
edit: hi mom, hi Jessica and thank you to everyone who liked this comment! love from Moscow xoxo
her "not looking my best" is still better than I have ever looked in my entire life
@@OnlyARide Mood
She looks stunnning.
hahaha. will be using this quote in the future, for sure. 😂
my dad got sick about 8 years ago, he started experiencing severe pain in his limbs, extreme weight loss and a bunch of other symptoms. The doctor sent him to a few tests but couldn't find anything, so he suggested my dad should take psychiatric pills, thinking he's probably just crazy or making it up. Eventually we found out he has Amyloidosis. Don't know why i'm commenting this, I just needed to unload
Remember when fibroneuralgua (sorry for the spelling) started being diagnosed. Male doctors insisted it was high strung women acting all dithery
Ahhh yesss! I’m a teenage girl who’s been sick for half a year!!! Yessssss! There have been doctors who have told me I’m suffering from “severe anxiety” 🙄 when I was clearly bedridden with a very physical illness! I’m still on my journey to a diagnosis, I can’t even imagine what my reaction would be if someone told me I was faking!! I’m going through the hardest point in my entire life and feeling like ppl don’t believe I’m in as much pain as I say makes it SO SO much worse! I get that feeling of needing to unload, wishing you the best 💕💕! 🤗
@@coffeesweatersbooks9340 I'm sorry you're going through this! Hope you find the right diagnosis, I know how hard it can be not knowing.. All the best to you too! xx
@@Shay0008 thank you so much! 💕💕☺️I hope so too!
@@coffeesweatersbooks9340 It's like AGES ago when Freud coined the word 'hysteria' to explain any disease women were suffering from. Neurotic, emotional creatures that we are! Remrmber that Golden Girls episode where Dorothy berated the male doctor in a restaurant for poo-pooing her symptoms of fibromialgia (sp)
I have very severe social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, but no one believes me because I take care of my mental health and have been taking medication for it for around ten years. Turns out we are not allowed to get better without being accused of lying.
My mother once said in an argument, before signing off in her email, “I would wish you well, but you never are are you?” I have multiple autoimmune disorders and had a mild stroke. I also have hemiplegic migraines. She passed two years ago, and believe she passed still believing my illnesses were fake. I’m glad you are here using your platform to educate and empower, you are incredible.
All the best to you, sometimes I think it is easier to dismiss something than to deal with the reality that someone is struggling and you cant/ dont want to help them.
i hate when people preface the ”how are you?”-question with ”well, i know what you’re going to say anyways, but...” or asking and then stops listening when you actually answer. there is a reason why i just instinctively say ”i’m fine”, ”not too bad!” or some other wishy washy answer these days. my grandfather sometimes actively dodges me and even avoids saying hi to me at family gatherings because hearing about the shit i’m going through makes him sad. well, imagine how it feels being the person actually going through it :-) i guess it’s not rocket science to figure out why many disabled people feel like a burden and often internalize their feelings.
I went to a hospital for high blood pressure checkup and they found I have Gilbert's syndrome(hyperbilirubinia-jaundiance ). So what it does it basically makes you super sleepy all the time and you get yellow eyes and sometimes even skin appears yellow(as you get older the discoloration can even be permanent). It is a genetic disease affecting liver enzyme and it cannot be treated or helped....so my fam told me "Oh this whole time we thought you were just terribly lazy and rude" like wtf....and they proceeded to make me do absurd chores and work for them even though they knew my illness....thanks God I moved out and got married to a most caring man that never complains when I'm too tired or have to take random naps during the day.
Awful mother
I hope you are having a good day! I believe you. My sister had hemiplegic migraines after a stroke from ages 6-16 and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy. Virtual hugs.
"Firstly: why do you care?" THIS. So many better things you could do with your time than picking apart a person's life just to say... gotcha?? Why??
Because we are all jealous little monkeys. I can feel my brain leaping up and accusing people even before I've had time to think about how many ways I'm probably wrong.
Reckless Roges sounds like you have a lot of biases you need to address.
some people take actual disabled people's resources
i think because people are concerned she has münchausen syndrome which could lead her to harming herself to be ill
Faking disability should be a crime since you can get legal advantages
Mom: You need to stop being so lazy, you've gained so much weight! You're exhausted all the time because you're fat!
Me: *goes to the doctor, gets diagnosed with hypothyroidism, an autoimmune disorder, a reproductive problem which also causes insulin resistance, and a couple of related hormone problems that all require me to be on medication for life*
Mom: Oh... well, maybe your medication will help you lose weight!
Me: thanks.
Oof, as someone who no longer has a thyroid, I can feel your pain about the hypothyroidism. Little to now energy, and brain fog are definitely not fun.
no matter the health condition, they ALWAYS focus on weight, it’s absolutely ridiculous
if only there was a medication that made your mother a better person ✌️😔
I have hypothyroidism too. Hope you are doing ok.
that's absolutely disgusting. all bodies are beautiful.
I am allergic to walnuts, some days I have a bad reaction to it, and some days I have no reaction whatsoever. Does not take away the fact that I am still allergic.
"I shouldn't have to prove my disability to anyone." Yes, thank you.
Technically there is a case to be made for the NHS wanting proof for making treatment plans people aren't suffering under later on... on the other hand, having financial risks to your level of disability being recognized sounds awful.
Yep... totally agree
My agreement to this is conditional. In the states, so many people have finagled handicap placards through their “doctor” ($$) in order to park where ever they want and claim to need service animals when they really want to drag their poor dog everywhere they go. There are so many individuals who truly need these things and then there are those who feel entitled and take advantage of a system designed to assist those in need. We will always be subjected to those people who are the reason we can’t have anything nice. It may not be an inordinate number of people misusing the system, but there are just enough cases of fraud to cast a shadow of doubt over those who are legitimate.
Some random Karen: "Classy ladies don't curse"
Jessica: **says asshole in the most classy tone of voice I've ever heard**
Classy ladies curse with good diction.
Well actually she said “arsehole” since she’s British 🤓
@@Miss_Distress lol
♥️
British, she said asshole with a British accent and intonation is what you meant
Thank you so much, as someone considered “good looking” like yourself and has an invisible chronic disability, I’m constantly struggling with people thinking I’m faking. I often hear people say to me you make yourself a victim. I understand why the news hurt you, it hurt me too.
I was just diagnosed with eds as well as pots and a few other genetic disorders, and I can’t even begin to explain how wonderful it is to see people with platforms speaking out about invisible illnesses. A lot of my friends and family don’t believe that I’m in a constant state of pain, so seeing you speak about this has been really encouraging. Thank you
"You don't look disabled. You don't look like you're struggling."
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOOK DISABLED!
Just a Nerd stealing this for future use.
Same omg, like, what? Do they want us to cough blood in front of them or what?
I always say you can't see cancer either.....
Also what does disabled look like? If I imagine a disabled person I see someone using a wheelchair, but someone else might think of a blind person with a cane, or a person in a care facility. Disability isn't a one size fits all kind of term.
“Well, you too don’t look like a jerk, but here we are”.
Growing up with two disabled parents, one of the worst things was when people in public gave us grief for using disability services because they couldn't always "see" the disabilities. Ugh. I remember when I was 10 in a train station and my dad had been in a wheelchair. He stood up from his wheelchair to go to the bathroom and a group of teenagers started laughing while he was gone and teasing me, saying he was pretending so we could get on trains earlier. I was so embarrassed and I wanted to tell them about all the times his legs completely gave out after walking too long. But I just couldn't do it. I still feel guilty about not standing up for my dad seven years later, but I wish people would just mind their business! Anyways, I love your videos
It was their fault for being jerks. You were just a kid, it’s not your responsibility to cure the worlds ableism. They probably wouldn’t have listened to you anyway.
Taking a train in a wheelchair is the biggest hassle anyway, no one would fake it.
Yeah, the other day my dad saw a teenager with a walker and made a joke that they were too young. I told him they probably had a disability and needed it and he didn't argue with that luckily
I known the feeling. I have a deformed knee and sometimes I can walk normally, other times I can't even stand up. My knee is unnoticeable if you're not a doctor checking my leg and it's so frustrating to hear people telling you that you're faking it
I can't speak for your dad, but I know a lot of parents wouldn't want their child to harbor guilt over something like this. I'm disabled (among other things society has Opinions about) and if I found out my child felt bad about a situation like this for years, I'd be heartbroken.
If you're safely able to, it's always good to speak up for others, especially if they aren't there to do it themselves. But you were a child, and those kids were jerks - you know they were wrong, and it sounds like you don't want to allow people to behave like that in the future. You're doing good. It's okay, I promise. It gets easier to speak up as you get older. Just keep believing what you know is right.
Had to take a moment to thank you so much for being such an aware amazing person. As a severe emetophobic, having the trigger warning for vomit was so insanely considerate. Nothing you said triggered me, but but just to see the consideration of the warning makes me so happy. I never have seen it before.
I am also a severe emetophobe so I always appreciate trigger warnings too
My favourite comment was in response to me saying I was unwell. The comment was "You're always sick, arent you?" Well yes, that's how chronic illness works
A disabled person is way more likely to be faking that they're normal so they don't have to deal with other people's judgments. I know because I pretend everything is okay even when it's not. It screams volumes about the lack of character of people that pass their biased unknowledgeable judgments on people that have to live with physical or mental hardship that they have through no fault of their own. Shame on them.
THIS!
My husband takes me to the gym every day and I feel uncomfortable being "that blind lady" because I'm legitimately worried someone will say I'm a liability and can't be there. So I pretend to be able bodied. I pass most of the time because I still have one good eye....until I run into a weird lighting situation and then forget it. Also the hat and sunglasses indoors (due to light sensitivity) makes me come off as a drug addict. And I can't read things too well so they probably think um illiterate too.
At the moment I'm struggling with having faked it so well that I can't possibly need help and I should just get over it and not ask my workplace to lessen my responsibilities even though I'm having panic attacks
@@missquinberly I teach a couple dance classes a week, which I've done for decades on and off. Sometimes it can take me up to three days to recover from that two hour class.... But it helps me gain some strength. It's okay to say, you know most people can do anything for a short period of time, and be thankful for that, but I still have to deal with a serious disability. Maybe all of us should make a video and educate people
Omg lol yes me at a new Dr office "honestly I am really healthy person" then fills out new patient form and has to check so many boxes. "Well I guess I just try and work on being healthy to cope with all my problems"
You took the words right out of my mouth.
The standing up while in a wheelchair thing is so real, I'm not personally a wheelchair user but sometimes I would go out with my grandmother and she would use the electric wheelchairs in the supermarket, and I always felt people were judging her for using them because she would stand up and walk around to grab things... I dont think it's that hard to understand that it isn't the same to stand/walk nonstop for an hour than to stand up for 15 seconds at a time...
I’ve been using a wheelchair for longer trips like to the mall with my family, because I just can’t walk that long. I decide that I’m in the wheelchair for that trip and I don’t walk at all if I can help it, even though I saved my energy and could walk a little. I’m too worried about being harassed/attacked for “faking” needing a wheelchair so I just choose one or the other and suffer for it
I have to admit: The very first time I saw a wheelchair user get up to enter a train I was kind of surprised. But I'm an adult. I can keep my mouth shut and look up information, and so I learned that there are lots of reasons to use a wheelchair.
I got fired for telling my manager at work that I have ADHD.
Isn't that against the law? (Your manager firing you, I mean!)
@@That_Awkward_Mum yeah.
Them: you're to young to be in pain
Me: and ur to old to be alive
"am i looking my best right now? no."
"am i feeling my best right now? no."
"am i deeply offended by something i saw on twitter? always."
ain't that a mood 🤠
Érica Lucas And she looks fabulous...
Érica Lucas 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Oh thank god, I've so far only heard positive things about Jameela Jamil, being all abouz equality and inclusion, body positivity, pro LGBTQ+ and so on and when I read the title I was scared for a moment that she was the one who accused people with disabilities of faking them
I know, me too! I love her! She’s amazing. I’m so glad she didn’t do something bad.
I mean she's pretty hypocritical but over all I don't mind her
Anon Hippo Mermaid me too, I was scared for a second
I just don’t understand how people can’t see through her bullshit. Her activism is on the extreme side. Also her hypocrisy is astonishing.
Piers Morgan accused her of faking for attention. He is beyond disgusting and repulsive 🙄😬.
"You can't!" * immediately likes video *
This has always baffled me.
For years I had "wonderful" health and didn't think much of it, but as I got older I began to have a variety of issues. Some had been there the entire time and I just thought they were "normal" and everyone lived that way, some developed over time, some were the result from traumas (like when a semi crushed my car during an accident). From the outside I seem mostly okay and I go about my life, but when I do express that I'm having issues people have a hard time taking it seriously. This was the worst at my last job. I was going through a lot emotionally (a divorce, a move, a change in job location) and that made many of my issues worse. The place I started working was.... hostile to anyone that didn't fit in to a strange standard i could never figure out, I guess "normal" was the standard. Everyone was smiley and friendly on the outside but I was quickly shown how the place worked when my boss rolled her eyes when telling me about a coworker that took a lot of time off because of her mental health, "her mom and grandma died and that was her only family but that was years ago!". A lot of time off was maybe 1-3 days a month, most of which she made up by working in the off hours. My other coworker had some of the worst migraines I'd ever seen anyone experience, she was incapacitated, she would throw up, pass out, she truly suffered and she was made to feel weak or like she wasn't a good employee if she had to leave or if she dimmed her office and hid in there to try to keep working. In truth so many of the employees had severe underlying health issues but were treated with disdain if extra time off was needed. Our boss also had a health disorder but would discount the suffering of others by saying that, "we all have problems. I have..... and I'm still here."
It was one of the weirdest places I worked and I found it draining. One day I had enough and just started being open about everything that was wrong with me. I openly talked about my limitations. I let everyone know when I had to leave work for my physical therapy appointments. I talked about my therapist. I talked about my IBS and how sometimes I couldn't leave my house because it was so bad. I talked about my migraines and how sometimes I couldn't work. I talked about the confusing sleep disorder I've had for a very long time but always played off as being a "night owl". I talked about my anxiety disorder. I talked about how some of my issues might be lessened or even go away if I could get other things under control. It was weird, and I hated it but it made it easier for my coworkers. They weren't as ashamed, they took the time off when they really needed it and this made us healthier all around. No longer did people show up to the office with the flu because they were afraid to miss work.
Even so, after being there for nearly 5 years, my boss was still suspicious that I was making more out of it that I needed to, that I wasn't really that ill.
Why does it matter? I get my work done, I have the sick and anuual leave time, I try to make sure things are covered. Eventually she started making me get doctor's notes to prove I was really ill. I brought it up to my spouse and he said, "unfortunately, you can still smile and laugh even though you're suffering. They don't understand that". I'll probably make a joke on my deathbed, that doesn't mean I'm not dying.
I've never written this out before and this is really long... but it's a relief to finally say it.
I don't understand how people have the time and energy to "investigate" if some celebrity is faking her illnesses for some reason. I can barely handle my own issues, let alone afford to
get that upset of about some total stranger's potential ones.
Abject insecurity. The best way to get a validation fix is to be negatively judgemental becasue it offers some sense of control, and you'll believe that someone you don't know is being a bad person becasue it makes you look and feel like more of a good person. It's washing line gossip and snipey backstabbing, which is unfortunately fulled by the MSM in this country.
Clicks, views, attention, and money are great motivators for some people.
the title: "How to tell if a disabled person is faking"
me: oh no...
Jessica: You can't!
me: oh phew
I had to put off watching this video because I just wasn't in the headspace to possibly have to deal with a serious take on that. The logic part of my brain knew that Jessica would be the last person on the planet to do that, but knowing that I have the same disorder as Jameela Jamil, my anxiety couldn't do it.
verdant-witch you are not alone. The title triggered anxiety for me too.
This viseo is basically the physical disability version of DissociaDID's video on how to tell if someone is faking mental illness. I love both of them do much haha
@@mygirk i feel ya! im not very familiar with jessica's content and honestly i saw this video in my recommendations and started watching while keeping my hand ready on that "dont recommend me this channel" button, expecting the worst. i like how jessica obviously doesnt support the whole nasty "find out if this disabled person is Real" thing within the first 10 seconds of the vid but i wish the title and stuff was a bit different so it wouldnt scare away people who dont know who jessica is or what her channel is about.
@@June-xk4dq I think she had to try and keep the title unbiased so that people accusing her would also watch it
targeting a person and in a way that attempts to make people unwilling to help that person reveals bad and unnecessary thoughts and motives.
“Omg you don’t look like you have epilepsy!”
Me realizing the education system has failed us. And also explaining how there’s multiple types and no everyone has convulsions.
I've gotten this and "How can you have two types of seizures!?" I don't know. I just do. Trust me,I wish I didn't...
@@marus815 i hate that i relate to this comment :/
its almost like having disabled have a higher chance of having accidents or get into a tricky situation because of said disability, who thought?
Poor proprioception is literally one of the symptoms of EDS. My diagnosis is something on the hypermobiltiy spectrum, which is basically EDS adjacent (the diagnostic criteria is weird and keeps changing) and I had way more than share of falls and injuries growing up.
@@brookiki sorry if this comment is inappropriate but i have been wondering whether there was a word for my Utter Inability to tell where my body is or what my body is doing at any time so i just wanna thank u for using that word so i could by chance stumble upon it ,,!!!
@@brookiki I NEEDED THIS WORD TODAY THANK YOU. I didnt know what is was called and couldnt figure out how to google it without sounding dumb
“You don’t look blind”
“Well you don’t look like anything to me..does that prove it?”
I’ve been told I don’t look legally blind so many times and I’m just wondering how one looks legally blind?
I think because blind characters in movies are often portrayed as having "different" looking eyes that is the expectation of some people. Blind character often have this white film over their eyes, like they have cataracs. So I guess that is what they are expecting? In case this was a rhetoric question, sorry for answering.
"what do blind people look like? I legit dont know because IM BLIND"
hold on. i mean no discomfort but, may i ask how you are typing?
@@eleanortapley1277 there are systems that convert speech to typed letters. If you're interested , try checking out czcams.com/video/TiP7aantnvE/video.html , a video by blind CZcamsr Molly Burke explaining how she uses technology.
@@eleanortapley1277 speech to text? I reccomend watching Molly Burke's video about how she uses tech, I forgot the title though. Her videos are very helpful to understand the condition.
So just the other day I happened to go look at Jameela’s wikipedia page, and there is a whole section dedicated to listing the things “she has stated” about her various issues, but the wikipedia page is blatantly biased to suggest she is lying about almost all of it. It really struck me bc I normally think of wikipedia as coming across unbiased, and either just listing the facts, or mentioning “controversies” without taking a clear side on things that are unproven. It stood out to me bigtime how much it leans toward painting her as an untrustworthy liar.
I was going through the page and observed the same freaking thing myself!
Yeah same, but Wikipedia can be edited by anybody with an email account, so anyone in the world can edit and add false information :((
@@katskye11 Sorry, I know that this is an old comment but i'd just like to say that wikipedia doesnt allow just anybody to make an edit 😅
I once did a little test to see how true that statement was as all my teachers would ban us from using it, and they acrually suspended my account and revised my changes within the hour as I didnt link any sources. So its actually not as untrustworthy of a site as its made out to be, because you really cant just edit something and say a load of crap most times!
Obviously though not everything gets caught, and I think in the case of Jameelas wiki page some edits are accepted despite any bias/unfair wording or just arent caught.
I have ADHD and I am sometimes heard to say that I have a "cognitive disability" because I worry that people will hear that I have ADHD and assume that it isn't a "real" disability. I feel a near constant pressure to prove that my ADHD impairs my functioning - it does, to be clear. I've been trying to get government assistance because getting a job is so difficult for me, but I only have an informal diagnosis (which I got from my psychiatrist), so I'm not eligible. Getting a formal diagnosis is going to cost me a few thousand dollars, which seems like a lot of money to pay to be able to prove that you need financial assistance. I'm probably going to have to take out a loan and it's causing me a lot of stress. For the record, I live in Canada. It makes me so annoyed when my fellow Canadians try to make us seem better than America because of our "free healthcare". It isn't free for me.
Many of us with invisible disabilities are scared to say we have any problems. I love your witty way of saying things.
I have an anxiety disorder, and not many people know. It breaks us when we have invisible illness, I keep up a happy face for everyone around me though. It’s important to me that if I must suffer, others don’t have to.
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! Or quieter depending on whether or not you've got a migraine.
Truth! 😆
Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
@@C-SD I love your screen name.
Or if you have other conditions that make you sensitive to loud noises (like Autism or sensory processing disorder)
@@Shadow-zf5uc of course! my biggest apologies to my fellow autistics.
As a Gen Z I am so happy to be praised for once! Thank you! We usually get bashed for “being depressed” “too dark” or “cussing too much” very fun. Your generations pretty cool too! Hope you’re feeling good and having a nice day, love your content!
“People with EDS are more likely to get cancer”
My anxiety is never gonna let me forget that
lol same
"Because she thinks her body is a temple."
Who hurt that journalist?!
A priest apparently
probably the mormon church
My immediate thought was: "A temple to what?!"
Don't be too harsh on the journalist. It could be that they misunderstood Jessica's reply because it was too advanced for them (not everybody's smart, right?). Alternatively, they were worried about alienating their "less intelligent" readers with advanced medical/scientific terminology, so they gave them the "simple" version. The only problem is that it gives the readers an impression that Jessica is on a strict diet by Personal Choice, which is the exact opposite of the truth... I suspect it's the former, because otherwise the journalist could simply have said: "Jessica doesn't drink for medical reasons", which sounds extremely unglamorous, so this could be another reason why this was "re-phrased".
On that note also, who the fuck allows shit to be printed without authorization first?
“You’re not allergic to peanuts anymore?!”
“Yeah, I forgot to renew my subscription so I can eat a Reese.”
why are allergies always to all the nice food, I just want to eat scorched almonds
Well... When I was a child the tests showed I have peanuts allergy but when I did tests last year it wasn't there... Same for strawberries and fish. I'm still allergic to apples though. But it doesn't matter. I don't like them.
Sway Tree some people out grow allergies, some do not. Some people also develop new allergies.
For me, still allergic to tree nuts and shellfish,
No longer allergic to bees and strawberries
Now allergic to raw orchard fruit (apples ect), raw carrots and lactose intolerant.
@@jasminestarr1506 Exactly! I'm not longer allergic to cats, which is lovely!
I was allergic to tomato for a few years & it’s gone away...I was allergic to pumpkin as a child & that’s gone. People don’t understand you can grow out of allergies.
I have a sulphite intolerance & people don’t take it seriously because for some reason they think people are lying about being intolerant. They’ll also sit there & be like “you know that has sulphites, right,” like I don’t know. People always think they know people better than they know themselves.
As another person of Ehler-Danloss, thank you for talking about the gritty, exhaustive day to day issues of living with "hidden" disabilities.
Ever since I was diagnosed with autism, I've constantly thought that I wasn't "disabled" enough because for a large portion of the time, I can't tell if I'm exhibiting the same characteristics that make up a bog standard autistic person (if that makes sense).
Like... maybe I'm just internally faking for the attention because I can manage pretty well? Even though multiple autistic people have said to me "no you are definitely on the spectrum" and I was like "how can you be sure?". I'm worried that one day, a person might turn up to me and say "yeah you were misdiagnosed. You actually don't have autism." It's irrational, but I can't help but feel like I was misdiagnosed sometimes. Maybe I did those things in the interview because I wanted to be diagnosed with autism so that I could have something to blame?? But yeah.... that's my internal crisis that I go through 80% of my time.
Also, thank you for bringing up the wheelchair thing. I'll admit, before seeing this video, if I had seen someone drive a car into the disabled spot, only to get into a wheelchair, I may have given a skeptical look but moved on with my life. I admit that I was ignorant on the scales of how much people would need a wheelchair at any given moment, since films only really depict wheelchair users as being wheelchair bound. I'll do my best to be more understanding and I will try and catch myself if I think otherwise. Hopefully, I won't get attacked for this?
i admit i was also ignorant about how people used wheelchairs, and jessica has taught me a lot
You have this autistic problem too? i thought I would be all alone in my fears and worries and all that nonsense. Thank you stranger
Completely relate to paranoia about being misdiagnosed, but also wheelchair bound people can totally still drive by themselves with hand controls a lot of the time if they’re only paralyzed waist-down :)
One thing that helped me stop thinking that I'm not "disabled enough" was coming across a blog entry from the mother of a (then) full-time AAC user who didn't walk until she was 3-4 years old, and her mother still felt like a fraud claiming her daughter was disabled because her daughter could walk. I thought - if someone can have those thoughts about such obvious and significant disabilities as that, it's clearly not a thought you should take seriously.
One of the things I found while going through my diagnosis is that it's really hard to see yourself as just autistic traits because you know yourself too well and you've grown up as yourself. But if you can spend time with another autistic person and notice them exhibiting autistic traits, people can do that with you. We can't separate "autistic" from us because it's just who we are, there's no distinction between I do this because I'm autistic and I do this because I'm me. That's how it is for me at least and it's what I tell myself if I'm ever afraid that I'm not autistic enough to deserve help.
Also, I once saw something that said people who fake actively have to put effort in and think and calculate in order to fake things. If you are worried about faking, you are not faking because if you were you would know and you'd have to have thought about pretending
I wish you all the best
Depressed person: smiles once
Some random arse: THEY'RE FAKING THEIR DEPRESSION, THEY'RE SMILING
YES
oh you did that 5k run a year ago while you felt great for once and you couldn't walk for weeks after that because you over excersised?
You are totally 100% completely fine and have no disablity whatsoever stop complaining.
EXACTAMUNDO!
I hate it when people do that.
those types of things always make me think back to when i broke my *shoulder* in 5th grade and everyone said i was faking because my arm wasn't in a cast! like, temporary or lifelong, do you really expect every disabled person to carry around all the documents and this and thats to prove to you they're telling the truth?! people are so ignorant!
I smiled at my then 2 year old brother in my cardiologists office and my cardiologist was basically like
See, you aren't depressed
Was like wow thanks for your input but my psychiatrist and therapist who i see weekly disagree?
Jameela's tweet about being gaslit about your pain reminds me of how my dad, a doctor, kept telling me everything I experienced was psychosomatic and I was doing it to myself. It's really harmed the way I think of myself now, even after finally getting diagnosis for most of my comorbidities and illnesses. I dread someone accusing me of faking when I use my disability parking permit, which seems imminent considering all my disabilities are invisible.
I was told that so many times by doctors, (it's all in your head). Eventually I realized, even if it was all in my head, I'm still experiencing real pain. The source of the pain doesn't disqualify it.
I know this dread so well. I hope you have the ability to talk to a therapist about your dad being so ignorant and wrong hurt you, and how to re-sort the inside of your head. Cuz he was ignorant and wrong.
Also, being psychosomatic doesn't mean you're doing it to yourself! Technically, your body creating problems (disabilities) is ALWAYS "you doing it to yourself" (because it's your body), but in all cases, that doesn't change the amount of control you have over whatever your body is doing. If your nerve stop working in the leg, it's a nerve problem, but if your brain makes the nerves in your leg stop working, all of a sudden it's "you doing it to yourself"??? Tell me, can you make your heart stop beating or pause digestion? No? Then how could someone control their brain causing other things to stop? Also, I really don't understand why psychosomatic disorders are considered mental illnesses when no amount of therapy can ever change them. Seizures also happen in the brain and yet are not mental illnesses? The medical communities classifications of these disorders baffles me.
I know people who use mobility aids when they go out, not because they really need that mobility aid to mobilise specifically, but because it stops people from harassing them about their invisible disabilities. Though while they say they don’t “need” a wheelchair, using it does still benefit them anyway, because it conserves energy that they don’t have.
Yep I got the “psychosomatic” label so many times growing up until I was diagnosed with Chrons disease and a rare swelling disorder. Even now that there are labels to my illnesses doctors still just love to say I’m exaggerating or making things up. Therapy has been so helpful with working through all of that trauma.
I was rewatching your videos today, and it reminded me of something my stepmother told me. That “all the kids need therapy these days” and that “my generation (Z) is going to have a lot of problems”. I have C-PTSD. I am diagnosed. I am being treated. She is aware of this. I don’t consider it a problem that my generation isn’t so scared of disorders and mental health, it is one of my strengths. Invisible illnesses get so much shit because, even if you have proof, it just seems dramatic to neurotypical and healthy people. It’s crazy to me that she can so easily disregard my childhood trauma because not being neurotypical (or pretending to be) is so foreign to her generation.
I assure you, it’s not her generation- it’s her.
I remember being exposed to this idea in the past “this gen has so much problems”, I have childhood PTSD, and I thought for a while I was the only one. but when I digged down my family’s behavioral history (specifically my father’s childhood, my father died at young age from cancer), and seek answers about my father’s childhood, turns out my father potentially had just as complex childhood PTSD because he defiantly was going through childhood trauma caused by family members (and early death is not statistically uncommon for people who has untreated PTSD), and I don’t know for a fact - but I can imagine by what I found out about the way my father was treated as a child, his parents might had some as well, because they misbehaved with him. Generational Trauma is not uncommon, and people don’t like to open this scars up, but they are not doing any good for themselves by denying their own trauma, they often suffer from it and more often than not we learn to accept the habitual denial (in Hebrew, the term PTSD includes a word that can transmit to Disassociation/denial/dissociation - denial is a common symptom for PTSD) and it is very socially common for people to cover up their history of trauma or worse their family trauma.
The "too much conditions to be real" sounds like the "adding an indigenous trans nonbinary lesbian with ADHD and autism to that movie is forcing diversity". People just exist and there's probably a lot of people like that in the world. You can't invalidate someone for having a lot of traits that are considered bad or uncommon in our society.
agreed! also some marginalized statuses are more likely to show up together, so it isn't as rare as it would initially seem. like adhd and autism have high rates of showing up together, autistic and indigenous people both tend to have understandings of gender beyond the hegemonic binary, and members of the LGBT+ community tend to have in-community support and knowledge that could make it easier to come out/understand oneself as multiple non-cishet identities. that's not to say that these traits always show up together or necessarily imply one another, or that multiple-marginalization rep needs to work like this-only that our current model's lack of intersectional framing can leave out some major commonalities of experience.
I feel like so many people have a mentality where if they can’t see an illness visually effecting someone than it must not be that serious. I’ve actually been sushed while having an allergic reaction before.
That's why I think people have such a hard time understanding mental illnesses
It’s like someone trying to tell me that everyone has adhd and that’s not true. It’s annoying.
Very much so. I have chronic pain. I told my dad. Then later he came in and saw me how much it was affecting me his first words were "I didn't think it was THAT bad". Only bc he doesn't see it, I even told him earlier it was. I have a way of downplaying it bc all my life I been told I'm dramatic/drama queen any time I tried to just tell them straight up how it was. And even now when I do say how bad it is, my dad never gets it until it is way too late and he sees how bad it is.
It’s the same for type 1 Diabetes(which I have) the symptoms of high and low blood sugars are usually invisible which happen daily and are worsened by sickness, hormone fluctuations, stress, and certain foods that no matter how precisely you calculate the sugar and carb ratio to insulin your blood sugar still goes up. High blood sugar can sometimes cause migraines, irritability, and fatigue. Low blood sugar can cause shakiness, cold sweats, physical instability, and can really mess with your mind too. It is unsafe to drive with low and high blood sugars and I have gotten some rude comments for being late even though I had a severe low and try to explain I am often brushed aside as being lazy or unreliable.
*these opinions and symptoms are my own, I am not a medical professional and these personal symptoms should not be used for self diagnosis*
exactly!! I have depression and when I first told my friends they didn’t believe me because I “look happy”
I have cerebral palsy and often hear "but you're not in a wheel chair"
I can walk I'm blessed to be able to drive but it hurts some days to walk to the point of tears. I kick my right foot out and can't walk "normally" but I'm proud I can walk
Same
Same here! And man the looks I get if I stand up from my wheelchair, or wheel it to the building entrance because pavement is so hard to wheel over while in the chair.
"but you look so normal" I have impared memory due to lack of oxygen at birth, not massive forgetful but just somethings every now and then. Mum has to tell me information in a story for me to retain it which makes sense due to me being a writer. So the other one I get all the time is "but you're smart" people don't realize memory and intelligence are 2 different parts of the brain
I love you you are brave you are important you deserve help and compassion and your pain is valid, your pain is valid, and oh ya one last thing, your pain is valid 💜💜
stay strong! i can’t imagine what that must be like, but congrats for pushing through!
I remember, a little while ago, I went to a museum with my girlfriend and a couple of my friends, and they convinced me to ask for a wheelchair. For the first time in years, I actually enjoyed being out because I wasn't so fatigued and in pain that I could joke around, take in what I was looking at, and generally have a nice time. I got up once or twice of my own volition to wander because I felt a little cooped-up and out of control (it was a chair that had to be pushed, not one I could move myself) and I remember being so afraid that people would be judging me or assuming I was faking, that I haven't asked for one anywhere since. I just don't go outside because (barring the obvious reasons we shouldn't go outside rn) I know that, no matter how much the event might interest me, the pain and exhaustion is just too much to face, and the anxiety and judgement are too frightening.
This made me feel a little better, as I too have multiple illnesses/disabilities and I end up thinking that I'm faking myself.
Hellyes 😳😥 it's so mentally exhausting
“But you don’t look like you have anxiety.” Yeah, I’ve learned to hide it the best I can. I don’t tell people when i get overwhelmed. I can be freaking out on the inside about to have an anxiety attack and I’ll just say very calmly, “I need to use the bathroom.” You would have no idea why I’m actually going. Not all illnesses are easily seen
Same. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life and I'm really good at hiding it, to the point where it's simply automatic. Showing the anxiety causes me anxiety, so it only shows through if it's so bad I can't stop it. If I look anxious, it means I'm close to having a panic attack.
I had group therapy at one point and I was criticized for not participating enough, as if I weren't trying to face my anxieties, when just being there was so hard, but none of them seemed to realize how much I was struggling with anxiety (even though I was there for anxiety!) until I wrote out how I felt and read it to them, because it was the only way I could express my thoughts and feelings.
Oh god. The "i have to use the bathroom" excuse. I can get up totally calm in the middle of class and say i have to use the restroom and get my little card signed after but while im in the bathroom i'm just having a total breakdown. Unfortunately, due to various sensory issues, many attacks come on seemingly unprompted and cause me to become nonverbal. It majorly sucks.
"You don't seem depressed."
Well you don't see how much energy I put into presenting an approachable and friendly demeanor while in public, or how I kinda crash when I've returned to my home where I don't have to. Or how I deflect a question like 'how are you doing?' into something I can actually answer (usually by reinterpreting it as 'have you done anything interesting lately) because saying 'I generally feel terrible' is not an answer that people expect and I despise being insincere so I prefer talking about things that interest me (and hopefully the other as well).
While I've never used the bathroom excuse but I can definitely see that as a useful tactic.
People don't get how much energy we put into trying to act "normal" so that we can function in a society with a limited idea of what normal is.
My Mum who has known about my anxiety for 20 years will sometimes still say to me ‘but you were fine two minutes ago.’ Erm yeah really? That’s the nature of anxiety, that’s the whole point. You can go from fine to freaking out at the flick of a switch. I’ve also had ‘can you just not think about it?’ Oh well Mum, shit I didn’t consider that. Yeah I’ll just not think about it, problem solved, that was so easy. Thanks 😒
-"You don't look disabled!"
-"Thanks, you don't look ignorant!"
"I found out there's a high incidence of cancer in those with EDS"
Me, born with EDS and a smoker:
"I'm in danger."
Thank you so very much. As someone who has multiple autoimmune disorders, I stopped counting how many times people called me a hypochondriac/faker bcuz I “look fine.” Your honesty and biting humor are so refreshing. I wish you well. 💕
As someone who was told for years I was “faking feeling ill” while in actuality I was dying from a heart condition, thank you so much for this
s d Yeah, same thing happened to my mom. Finally a doctor realized that the sloshing sounds coming from her heart might signify an actual problem. Turns out she was born with a heart defect and needed surgery
@@lilliematthews7922 woah that's insane.
bunny eared namjoon Yeah by the time they finally diagnosed her, there was a hole the size of a quarter (US coin) allowing the oxygenated and non oxygenated blood to mix. Everything in her chest is bigger than normal because of how much extra work all the organs were doing to try to just keep her alive.
Anyone who has ever used a wheelchair knows no one would do it unless they really needed it. It’s uncomfortable, it’s inconvenient, you get judged and asked questions and you’ve just lost access to about a quarter of smaller shops, bars and restaurants.
I use the pushchair analogy when people don’t get that I can move my legs/stand etc; toddlers can walk but they tire very quickly so need a pushchair, ambulatory wheelies are just the same.
I'm going to steal this toddler analogy if that's okay. That's brilliant.
Katerina Adriah Go for it! I’ve found that people can grasp the really simple concept better. I don’t mind explaining if people come from ignorance instead of hate😉
@@VivaciaDreams I got weird eyes the days I used my cane years after surgery. I had bouts of osteoarthritis and I could be fine for months. People like to judge
BTW, one of my good friend is in a wheelchair. Legs are "dead". People just stare when he gets out of his Ford F150 lol. Yes, he can drive! All manual pedals 😁
That's the best way to explain it I've ever found, mind if I steal it?
Vivacia Dreams i have joint hypermobility syndrome and had a subluxation in my back, which was pressing on a nerve. i could barely get in and out of the car, but since i was a teenager who seemed in good health i got soooo many nasty looks! i have social anxiety and i knew having my mom push me in the store's wheelchair would bring attention to me, but i could hardly walk to the door, much less the entire store!! doesn't help that people think wheelchair = legs that don't work. most wheelchair users are ambulatory ugh
I’m bipolar with anxiety and a little OCD. I’m also hypoglycemic. The only one anyone believes the hypoglycemia. I’m VERY good at hiding my mental illnesses. Even in the psych ward, all 3 times, other patients were surprised I was there. The doctors weren’t. My family wasn’t. I wasn’t. Just because YOU can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there.
If anyone is faking anything it’s usually that you’re feeling well when in reality you feel like a dumpster fire 🔥 This is how many of my days are spent.
My mother once had chronic back pain and had to use a wheelchair for a year because it was too painful to walk. Once, when she was out with friends, a man was staring at her while she used the wheelchair. She moved her leg slightly and the man exclaimed that he knew she was faking it... My mother never claimed to be paralyzed or anything. Frankly, people need to stop. I was going to add more to that sentence but... People need to stop. Just because someone doesn't fit your description of a disabled person doesn't mean they aren't disabled.
He actually said that out loud to her? That's so fucking rude. The nerve of some people.
E-mile B people are so set on the idea that wheelchair = paralysis. You can’t move your legs or feel anything below the waist (but of course you can go to the toilet on your own because otherwise it’s icky) Anyone who is able to move their legs at all is probably faking and ambulatory wheelchair users are DEFINITELY faking
I always say needing to use a wheelchair should be compared with having to lift something extremely heavy. Can you do it for a couple of steps? Yeah, sure! Can you do it for over 100 meters? Uhhh.... And that's where the wheelchair comes in. Some people can carry themselves very shortly to like, pick up something off the shelf or something. But then they gotta sit down before bad things happen.
E-mile B that’s horrible, people suck! My sister’s friend suffered myocarditis at age 18 and had to use a wheelchair for a year to give his heart the chance to heal. It wasn’t that he couldn’t walk, but that he SHOULDN‘T. There were also some delightful people who questioned his motives at every turn -.-
@@christalcavanaugh Right? I can use my legs. And I don't even have spinal problems! So why do I need a wheelchair? Well, I have a severe case of POTS, which means that if I stand upright, my blood does NOT go to my brain anymore, so I need to be seated if I don't literally want to faint after 10 minutes. Can I stand up? Technically, yeah. Can I walk? Sure. But eventually I'm gonna have to go down before my body does it for me.
I have two friends, let's call them Jean and Billie for privacy reasons. They both use wheelchairs. Jean is bound to it 24/7 because she is an amputee and has no legs, and Billie uses a wheelchair because she was hit by a truck a few years ago and has a severe spinal injury.
But, get this: Billie learnt to semi walk again, but seven years later, she still needs crutches to do so. But people have seen Billie get up in the middle of a store and switch to her crutches, and no one questions it because since the accident, she has a lazy eye and can't generate tears or spit (she constantly chews gum and needs to put eye drops in a gazillion times a day). Therefore, people can accept Billie getting up because she "looks disabled".
Jean, on the other hand, will always get asked why she doesn't just wear prosthetic legs. She has tried prosthetic legs but finds them extremely uncomfortable and just prefers to wheel around. She's always had better upper body strength anyway.
I find it so weird that people can accept Billie getting up in the middle of a store because she "looks disabled" yet Jean WHO HAS NO F*CKING LEGS is always judged.
People are so screwed🙄
Just imagine your friend getting bullied by a person you had never met before and she stood up😳 and the person got scared cause they were like “why do I hear boss music?” Also jean Can bite people’s Achilles’ tendon 😂
everyone's going through something. it's tough to look for the best in folks, but i think we usually get what we expect
They should all just mind their own business tbh 🙃
@Catalina C. *yet
People need to mind their own bloody business. I have multiple physical (including spina bifida) and mental disabilities. I use a wheelchair for long distances e.g. shopping. One day someone decides to scream at me for standing up out of my wheelchair to put it in the boot of my car. Back then I could still walk (although very painful and exhausting) and drive. I can no longer drive and I am losing my ability to walk each day that goes by. I consider myself very lucky to still have the ability to walk and I think people are very rude and closed-minded. I would rather use my wheelchair than suffer trying to get to where I need to go!
when someone tells you that you don't look like you have a disorder or disability I'm pretty sure they're just saying you don't look "messed up enough" as if people who have disabilities and disorders aren't human. because it always comes off that way. there is no one way a person should look like.
This is exactly how I feel. Being talked to like that shoves me into a dark hole devoid of self worth and filled with despair.
I know there is hope for me and I am a person of worth but you can't help seeing yourself the way people see you. Often I feel like when people 'know' they can see right through me like I'm naked in my clothes and made of glass, and they despise what they see. Lesser. I cannot even make the connective tissue in my body correctly.
These are intrusive thoughts I can fight with for months.
When we learned about connective tissue in anatomy, I was sitting there sweating. I thought the teacher was going to know. Definitely going to know if I raised my hand. It was the only thing I wanted to learn about, when we moved onto other topics I wouldn't do my work, failed. Just kept looking at the connective tissue, how vital it was, the passage about a girl who had MS who did track & dropped dead.
"You look great!"
My schizofrenic brain: Here we go again...
I once responded to someone giving unsolicited advice to 'cure my problems' with "Congratulations on your doctorate in Medicine!" "What? I'm not a doctor." "Exactly."
That reminds me of the time a guy tried telling that essential oils would cure my epilepsy
I’m gonna have to start using this one :)
J Manna HAHHAHA Will definitely use that
I once was asked by a lady for “proof” of my condition when I was sitting in the priority seat on public transport (I have POTS and it was a time where I couldn’t stand without fainting). She said she also had a condition and on the outside she didn’t look like she had a condition either. I understand she must have because I know not all disabilities are visible (mine isn’t). So I found it pretty hypocritical that she was picking on me for looking like I was able to stand. It was as if she was telling me whatever she had going on was more important and that she was more deserving of a seat than me. I thought fellow people with invisible disabilities would be understanding and it made me quite upset.
Sadly, having an illness or disability doesn't prevent someone from being an arsehole like everyone else. I understand expecting more empathy from people with similar experiences, though. Some people are just jerks, unfortunately, able-bodied or not.
suffering is not a contest and it seems like that woman still has to learn that
Unfortunately there exists such a thing as "hardship competitiveness". It's where people try to outdo one another with problems (social or medical), and often they will berate someone whose condition isn't as severe as theirs - or what they perceive to not be as severe as theirs. They also think that having a condition gives them the right to judge other sufferers as being "worthy". It's a particularly nasty trait whereby they uses their condition to validate themselves as being special or better than other people.
Just because someone asks you a question doesnt mean you have to answer. Sometimes people are trying to see where you fit in the pecking order. Dont play along. It only works if you play along. I'd fake that was too tired to answer.
~upsetti spaghetti~
I'm so glad I watched this. I didn't know any of the background about Jameela and I'm sorry she's had to go through all that, but everything you said about fearing being called a faker rings so true. I've had an invisible chronic illness for over 12 years and it's still news if someone believes me and is kind and compassionate about it. The default is disdain and judgement, especially in work spheres. I'm so glad I've found your channel. It's taken me a long time to accept I'm disabled - in part because everyone kept telling me I was fine and it couldn't be as bad as I was making it out to be, cheers for that - and it's so validating and comforting to see so much of my experiences mirrored in what you say. I send past you the gentlest of head pats for your migraine *hugs*
This video is the reason I became more aware of disability activism and advocacy. I remember seeing that thread and going "woah weird" and then saw this video (which was also my first video by you) and realized how stupid it was to believe a twitter thread and went on a journey to learn more. Thank you Jessica
I'd just like to remind everyone that munchausen is still an illness and while they are suffering in a different way than they say people with munchausen have often suffered with neglect and abandonment in their past and they deserve the same respect as anyone with an illness.
Its like when someone makes a suicide attempt but doesnt want to die and people say "oh thats just a cry for help"
like fuck, this person is literally crying out for help; maybe they actually need some help!
This is why it pisses me off so much: those people calling everything munchausen are dissmissing ALL illnesses and disabilities in one swift blow. They talk about it like it was some kid's tantrum. It disserves everyone.
@@helianthe3457 And even a kid's tantrum is a valid emotional response, developmentally.
trainwreck fucku 🙄 disagree
Hunny Bunny that’s okay. You don’t have to agree because it’s just an opinion.
"it's just too many things to happen to one person"
able-bodied people and neurotypicals crack me up sometimes. i mean, in an enraging way, but it's just........the pure unawareness of privilege. must be bliss
Sugared Oleander I mean, as an able-bodied but extremely clumsy person I can definitely sympathize with having a strange list of specific issues that people don’t believe. (I have twisted/sprained my ankle playing duck duck goose, ram my elbow into ceilings/walls constantly, and I have somehow managed to trip going up stairs in the strangest ways possible, so someone having multiple issues that have more reasonable explanations is completely believable to me) But yeah. Most of us are completely unable to understand or sympathize and that is a major issue that needs to be addressed.
@@SlytherinBookworm maybe you have dyspraxia.
How do you ram your elbow into a ceiling? That is extreme clumsiness lol. I'm the same though so many broken bones from having zero spacial awareness
@@SlytherinBookworm One time I killed a fingernail because I was so excited about a new Harry Potter movie that I jumped up and smacked it hard on a metal pipe. The fingernail turned black and fell off - I did go see the movie in theaters, though, and the nail eventually grew back.
Sugared Oleander THIIIIIS. it’d be cute if it weren’t so invalidating. Like, look bud, I’m just as annoyed by the things my body decides to do on a daily basis, but that’s no reason to go around accusing strangers of lying.
The sheer volume of gaslit patients hurts my heart
'' you don't look neurodivergent ''
Oh right, lemme a minute *Changes witchs shirt into a yellow sweater and starts singing a little bit louder* Better?