You Used to be the Gifted Kid... Now You're Burnt Out
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- čas přidán 31. 08. 2022
- Anyone else miss feeling like they were hella smart? Yeah me too bro. Anyways, let's chat about Gifted Kid Syndrome.
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References/Sources:
Why Gifted Kids Suck So Much:
• Why do gifted kids suc...
Why Gifted Kids Are Actually Special Needs:
• Why Gifted Kids Are Ac...
The Curse Of Being A "Gifted" Student:
• The Curse Of Being A "...
Is Success Luck or Hard Work?:
• Is Success Luck or Har...
dude really said “this you”? with the title
If you are intelligent...you could be Neurodiverse that's a really interesting point.
As a human male, maybe the propous of life is to resolve problems that we like and be recognized...as women mabe it is pursuit emotions and strong relationships. As all humans maybe our destiny, it is make easy and more happy the world.
The change is always a group understanding and a political movement...but remember: In most cases in human history, our perception was wrong.
Literally the reason I clicked. I went through this phase already. Gifted, to advanced placement, to college, to engineering school, to aerospace industry, to unemployed and depressed. Having your entire identity wrapped around your seemingly endless aptitude is a hard crash when you realize that aptitude is not in-fact endless, and the real world requires far more than the capability to critically evaluate and accumulate knowledge to be successful or lead a meaningful life. Especially when you start to realize that failure can come even when “you do everything correctly”. Luckily I had cultivated a strong support system of friends and family(thanks to good parenting) that helped me when I needed it.
Being labeled as a gifted kid felt like grown ups were piling lots of expectations on me, expectations I’ll probably never be able to live up to. So many teachers and other adults told me I was so talented, that one day I’d change the world, that I’d be famous, but at 21 I’ve realized, I don’t want to change the world, I don’t want to be famous, I just want to be okay.
Tbh it sucks to be labeled as anything. My life is mine, why are others trying to ditacte it?
I am completely burn out (at 21 too), I have no desire to do anything. Even tho the othres say I have a good life, because I work as software engineer, study, play musica and blah blah, I don't feel shit besides sadness. I don't get any joy from doing any of that, except music. It's literally the last rope keeping me alive.
And it's exactly what you said. I don't want anything besides being ok. I just want a fucking normal life with no piled up stress every day nor with less than 6 hours of sleep...
I don't know who you are, but you are not alone. I hope it all goes well to you.
@@th3j0t46 Same to you, man. I relate to that a lot, there are days when music and art are some of my only lifelines. I hope life goes well for you, too.
Wdym? why do you forsake your capabilities? If you are "gifted" you will eventually be fed up with your avergage life. That was what happened to me anyhow.
@@nonoun9619 I don’t think I’ve forsaken my capabilities, I’m just not overexerting myself for the approval of others anymore. Maybe when the time comes I’ll use whatever gifts I may have to accomplish something big, but first, I’m gonna make sure I don’t self destruct before I even get there, if you know what I mean.
People expected me to do great things but I fell ill and had all sorts of problems, but still felt I couldn't let up on the pressure others had put on me.
The deal with us “gifted” people is that we’re good at doing what people tell us to do. School is so straightforward that we have very few issues with it. The problems crop up when we become adults and we don’t always have someone telling us what we need to do, or if we do, we’re reluctant to ask for help because we’re used to getting by on our own.
YES. OMG YES. Thank you for putting it into words. Holy crap. I’ve always related myself to an outdated 70s computer. You have to tell me EXACTLY what I need to do and how and then I can be a machine spitting out answers (ex vocab) but the moment I have to start making things on my own I’m so lost
Yes this is something that I've noticed recently as well!
So relatable
I really like the idea of genius as a state rather than a trait. Anyone can do genius with the right circumstances, but nobody can keep it up every moment of every day. The thing to do is strive for moments of genius without blaming yourself if you're not always the best.
A better word that I heard recently was "scenius". A transferring of the idea of wisdom from the individual to the collective. very few people can be geniuses, but a lot of people can be sceniuses. I do think Along with what you've said, it might be easier to maintain, because it's not up to you to maintain your scenius, but to participate in a collective that maintains it's wisdom alongside of you.
Credit to Brian Eno for hearing about it.
I'm in my early adulthood phase. It's quite hard for me to accept that some of my thoughts and some of my beliefs don't do me any good. It's hard to let go of them because my ego grips so tightly onto it. I feel like there's also no easy way out of it. The pain is inevitable. And you somehow have to live with it
And, somehow, you will be able to live with it. Nuts.
I dealt with similar problems. I came across Ken Christian's book, 'Your Own Worst Enemy', and reading it changed my life for the better. I recommend it, if you're open to change.
It’s pretty sad how relatable this all is for so many people.
The worst for me was being told how much potential I have because of being “gifted”. Potential for what?
I graduated varsity at 23 with 8 distinctions & received an award for most potential- ironic. Now at 27 I don’t have my drivers license, I live with my mom and am crippled by my mental & physical health. Even grocery shopping is too intimidating without someone assisting me.
But that being said I love to watch your videos because you provide such interesting discourse & inspiration so thank you 😊
I get you deeply, Micaela. I know we can do this. My psychotherapist told me once: "Watch out to your beliefs. What is holding you back is the wrong belief". Now everytime I fall into the loop I keep repeating this one phrase. It all needs a little figuring out! I send you a lot of love and power to conquer 🥰
@@let_it_sin_kin this was an incredibly sweet reply. Thank you for making my day 🤍 we got this
I mean I have a driver's license and can drive fine at the age of 22 but I still don't have a job and my own place to live which kinda sucks but I might start my own business since I'm bored living life like this...
How is that your fault?
I know I'm a year late but how are you doing currently? I hope you are in a better situation and state of mind
I totally remember having this realization as a freshman in college. I used to be the dude helping everyone with their math/science homework in hs, then suddenly I was sitting in the middle and struggling in my major.
Then I was in a car, anxiously looking out the window on a rainy night and just thinking:
"man, I'm kinda dumb huh?"
Though it hurt to think that, I had no idea how important that moment would be to me understanding that academic success really was not that important to me. Went on to complete that brutal degree anyway, even as a dummy. If I had to choose between who I am now and being some big hot-shot scientist I thought I was gonna be, I'd choose me every time.
We can be our own biggest cheerleaders and/or our biggest critics. We cheer on our friends, why don't we give ourselves the same credit?
Ahh relatable
Because we have been trained in a thousand different ways to do the opposite. And I don't mean that hyperbolicly, and mean that structurally. Everything from paying rent, to the villianization of unions, to the defunding of public transit, to the orders of many churches, to what music is funded by the music industry, to the subtle competition in the dating market, a lot of things are structured in such a way to undercut class consciousness. A person who understands this will start to understand that they didn't personally fail, that the structure never meant to support them in the first place, and that's dangerous to the structure, dangerous to the institutions.
Y'know it really feels like it I just thought I was special or smart but now all I look at myself with is disappointment it's just I always choose the others because. . . I look down on myself I never gave myself credit but maybe I'll try probably not though
a 14 year old graduated from my university and already got hired as an intern for SpaceX. Im asian and once my parents got the news, it was hours of what a great kid they are but dont take my own accomplishments seriously, truely heart breaking for me.
I'm still gifted.
Gifted with being a living disappointment. I never fail at failing
Aye i feel you mate
I wish you'd find your way out of this degrading belief
@@let_it_sin_kin where is your humor man... smh
@@Bleilock1 u never know, u never know
I always got the comment from my teachers growing up, in just about every grade "She's such a brilliant kid. But she just doesn't apply herself." Or "She has amazing ideas, she's so smart!" but my grades never matched what everyone thought of me. And I had an extremely difficult time asking for help which led me to be in "lower level" classes, which I "overly" exceled in. Then being asked by other kids and teachers "why are you in this class?" I could never understand why I was like that or understand my learning style because of how inconsistent I was in grade school and in college. Everyone around me just kind of expected me to be okay, because "I'm smart" so I'll "figure it out" but I was drowning every single time. And it still messes with my sense of identity and self worth from time to time.
I absolutely agree with this and I'm impressed by your ability to express this topic so easily. I'm going to start high school in a year (I'm 19) and I feel like I've already experienced this. It's a very humbling moment when you realize that there is always someone better than you. I think that true happiness comes from acknowledging this and seeking to be the best version of yourself instead of chasing the idea of being better than someone else.
Really great video!
Do you mean college instead of high school?
@@classypotato9255 oh yeah college, I always get this mixed up since in my mother language we call college high school, my bad, thanks for correcting
@@wojcek yeah haha just thought it was strange that a gifted kid would go to high school at 19 🤔
I was in a gifted class until about 10th grade, which was when the pressure got too harsh and I quit. I think that was the best decision I ever made, because I was able to avoid burning myself out and live as myself for once. I have a good friend who's still in that class (both of us are 17), and he has no time for things other than school. It's really sad because I wanna meetup with him after a year of not seeing each other, but he has no time because school is his entire life. I just feel that, ironically, gifted programs waste their student's intelligence and potential by putting them in an academic meat-grinder and expecting them to do fine.
Case in point, the basketball training programs are leading to overwork for young athletes here, which is why many Europeans are coming over for the NBA, because they aren't burnt out as much.
I recently have been theorizing that the half life crisis comes earlier for people of gen z or close to this gen, as the younger generations spend more time (since they have te time/privilege/resources to be able to do so) thinking about what they want from life and are faced with bigger life questions earlier on, maybe because they have to worry less about “survival” in general (like my grandparents had to no time to think because they had to work to provide for 9 children and life was rougher 70 years ago)
I agree! I certainly feel I've experienced some crisis already that are supossed to be experienced later on. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Life was more rough in some aspects back then but I think nowadays there are way more challenges GenZ faces that didn't even ocurr in people's minds back then
4:28 "we never really learned how to handle things that don't make us looks smart and life inevitably throws those things at you full speed" TELL ME ABOUT IT!
along with that, my learning habits are ruined ever since I "didn't have to study that hard to get a good grade." That thought that I was a "genius" and further being engrained by people surrounding me, gave me that ego boost, which might lead me to my downfall once I reach college. Thankfully, I'm trying to steer this to a different direction, where I lower my expectations, staying humble when it comes to achievements (but still recognizing my effort), and set a more concrete but flexible study habit, rather than going for stock knowledge. Great video dude!
literally my exact situation, it’s such a learning curve
As a "Gifted Kid", I'd like to add to this.
The problem with Gifted Kid Classes(GFC), or PEAK as I went to, is how they teach and that they expect you to be curious about literally everything just because you're smart. The problem is, even without the intelligence requirement, it works poorly in a system meant to stifle creativity in favor of factory workers. Even in the GFCs themselves they had basic problems to dip your toes into a concept, but never expanded upon it. Worse, some assignments were worse than assignments in regular classes because at least in a regular class you complete the task and sleep instead of spending a week on a project no one cares about to get knowledge you either won't use for years/decades or, realistically, will never use.
I learned the hard way that owls puke whole and grasshopper insides are gross and weird, but the knowledge from the assignments that I'll actually use are _you will never play with the cool toys until I tell you to_ and _finishing early will add more work to your pile_ and _if you don't stop talking to your teammates _*_outside_*_ , your bottle rocket_ [good metaphor for depression and crippling loneliness] _will never fly_ . GFCs never taught me to ask questions, even in middle school, simply to do as your told. Just like the rest of the school system, but with more freedom.
There's no one behind the bad school system, just people who say "I went through it and I'm fine, so they should too". Many unfortunately abused people think the same way and continue the cycle of abuse. Anything with room for improvement, even if it's not broken, should still be improved despite the saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". That's why updates exist; people's strive to change things for the better makes society better without needing something to break first. You wouldn't wait for an accident to happen to start an emergency fund, so why are we waiting for schools to destroy the country before reforming them to give society what it needs most: creativity and curiosity?
TL/DR: Gifted Kid Classes are limited by the school system as a whole.
The next up video is from Dr K, the Healthy Gamer. " Why Gifted kids are actually special needs. "
I recommend that and any of Dr.K's videos.
I was a bright kid, went to Oxford, and have had a good career. Now past 70 I mainly study music
and keep up with new tech, politics , etc. Never got famous, and realise i just have a B+ simian brain.
bro I'm f-ing 15 and my math teacher every time i don't understand anything goes "What's wrong with you today?" or "Why don't you understand." this crushes me every time, why can't she just accept sometimes I need help!
Hey Fads, this is pretty much me in a nutshell. I’m not sure if it was some Western phenomena that took the world in the early 2000s, but this pretty much nails the head. It’s kinda liberating knowing others are going through the same, and I do tend to get down on myself cause of said things, much like you said in your video. I think we should move away from the “bright” and “exceptional” adjectives we place on the youngsters, and instead actively encourage them to do the things they are passionate about. Almost like when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said, “Vet.” I kept that idea and tried to shoot for it in community college but instantly gave up when it became too difficult. Thanks for the good video duderino and keep it up! Warm regards.
Feeling you.
18 year old me going to an elite university, not aceing anything without lerning at all got me into drinking heavily. Fuck me right?
But there is hope, different university, different major, sober, Things are working better.
Learned to work for my success, actually thats even more rewarding than beeing the gifted kid. Everything good?
Well no, I got burned out from working to much, because I still crave success more than others and I need it to validate myself. Oh and also coping addiction. I tend to self select into the harder classes to proof me that I can do it, making life more painfull than it has to be. But getting through with a B still feels really awesome. Cant lie.
So I kinda overcame some issues by now, but who knows what happens next.
Gets easier every day, but you have to run every day.
I have problems with estimating my self-worth because I compare myself to everyone and generally feel undereducated. When I try to change it out of self-hatred it never ends well. This night I kinda changed my perspective. Now I think truly educated person is the one who is cautiously building an opinion about the subject rather than memorizing the subject for the sake of feeling secure in their education. Thinking like this produces a lot more reason for self-love for me
Recently I feel as I have hit a rock bottom. I am a junior and go to a competitive high school. I have recently been feeling so disconnected from everyone I know in my life, and I rarely do anything productive in my life anymore. At this point, I beat myself up not even for grades, but because of how little I try. If I studied more and wasted less time, I could do so many amazing things, but its like I cant control myself. For example, I took my SAT today, and yesterday I spent studying and degrading myself for getting things wrong, things I could have gotten right if I had just studied every day. I felt even worse because I didn't go to school that day due to stress and because had a math and history test that day. I feel so ashamed that I had to take the day off. I have tried to improve so many times but I fail every time. I am sick of myself, but hope to get better still
I'm sure its mostly hormones anyway
Stop trying to be perfect! The more you try the furthest tou'll be to achieve what you seek. It sounds rough but it's something I've learned during these years. Maybe you have to let go, and maybe your inner self is trying to tell you something but you are so concerned about achieving what you think you must achieve that you ignore this inner voice. Maybe just try to hear yourself and what your mind and body are trying to tell you.
Sorry if I sound a little harsh, but you kinda reminded me of myself. Hope everything is going well for you!
Hugs 🙂
You answered your own question. Be more disciplined. You feel bad for being undisciplined and failing for a reason. Your gut is telling to to get your act together.
"In order to gain knowledge, you have to pay the price of time and experience."
Fuck, those hit hard.
Being smart isnt knowing the answer. Being smart is knowingly how to find the answer.
i just want to be excited about learning again. my mom tested positive for covid yesterday and i was so desperately hoping i had it as well just so i didn't have to go to school today. i tested negative but i feel sick (sore throat, runny nose, etc) so i'm staying home anyway. it sucks i'm at a point where i'd rather have a virus that attacks the weakest part of my body (lungs) than go to school.
The internet has given me a lot of windows into what the world out there looks like, but I wish I had the opportunity, knowledge, and most importantly motivation to go build experiences myself. But that's scary and again, requires motivation. I dunno where that comes from when you work 40 hours a week.
My decline started when I joined med school. I still make good progress with the curriculum, often in the top 3 when it comes to grades but the main problem I faced was the banality and inefficient education system in our country which emphasises memorisation over actual thinking.
Even today, I’ve maintained a part of myself separate from all the medical bullshit where I focus on things that genuinely interest me(psychology, philosophy, music, etc).
With time I’ve had to face the fact that I’m not the most intelligent and that some concepts do take some time to understand.
Instead of being insecure about my intelligence, I chose to abandon judging my intelligence all together. It doesn’t matter if I’m smart or dumb, I just want to have fun learning new stuff.
Throughout my life, people have admired my intellect but I consciously choose to ignore them to prevent basing my self worth on such a weak foundation.
Everything you said!!!
Honestly couldn’t help but smile at the end, your joy is so infectious!
I'm so lucky my algorithm brought me to your channel. You have been addressing the things in my life I have been dealing with and have provided so much wisdom, knowledge, understanding , and comfort. I love your voice and the way you think! Your channel is very underrated and I hope it only grows exponentially. Thank you for making me feel like I am not the only one experiencing these confusing and difficult times.
I had an interesting time. Born in Virginia , US. My elementary school (rich area). I was put in gifted class second grade. Third grade held back a year for trouble reading and spelling . Fast forward to middle school im in special needs. (dyslexia didn't figure out till adult) Change school to minority school regular class better grades/ teachers. Jr. Airforce in HS did amazing. Got to the Top cadet Col. out of 350 students. Joined Infantry after 9/11. Now im a video game stoner lol. Went from your smart to possibly the R word.96 To normalish. I read books watched TNG, Voyager science seemed amazing. In the end to be smart is to recognize what you know and what you don't. My phone , internet , ads, tv tell me what to think , what news is important and not. Think about micro plastics. From birth plastic has been in my body. I didn't know none of us. I believe my country is safe but it was a lie. Poisoned and government don't care. If I had to grow my own food i might starve. How smart am I? I smart enough to know im not smart lol
“Why’d you curse me with “you’re a natural-born genius”?”
This hits too close to home, but thank you, that ego boost from people around you I really hard to get past, and sincerely, I'm still working on it. Thank you for making this video and showing me I'm not alone.
I've come to the conclusion that I need to focus on what makes me happy, I may not know what that is yet, but at least now I know what I'm looking for.
Thank you again for your great content!
I thank the algorithm for leading me to your channel. Thank you for your discussions, I needed this today :)
your content is really well put together and you deserve way more credit for time you put into these videos! thank you!
hey so I just found this amazing channel and I really like the way you put things into perspective. I liked that I could just listen without having my guard up and, while I could write a really long detailed comment, I realize that that's also just me trying to somehow write the 'best comment' and meet my expectations and standards, so I'll keep it short: this video made me cry and you're fucking awesome ^^
I winced and how close to home the title hit Fadle. So necessary to hear though, like video therapy! I hope you go far on YT!
Thanks man, I was having a moment of disparity, and you brought me right back out of it, and gave me yet another powerful insight and understanding of how I feel, and what to do about it… Much Love.✊🏼💯❤️
man your channel’s really underrated;; i love your devil’s advocate and psychoanalysis thoughts on overhyped issues like these! love ur editing btw ;)
Hey, Fad thank you for existing. Just found your channel and it has a lot that really just fits within all the chaos. Your words hold wisdom and meaning I wish to keep learning from you and hopefully better my mindset for what is to come within the near-future.
Sheesh this channel is easily the most pleasant find in a while. Thank you for making meditative and thoughtful content while going a route of warmth and empathy in your subjects.
Dude I love this channel
I definitely experienced this. I had/have a knack for solving logic-based problems, especially visual or where a pattern is involved. It led to me doing well on multiple choice tests where I could easily narrow down the options. I also had talent for music that helped form my identity from early childhood through senior year. I consistantly outpaced my peers in science and anything involving written/spoken word, but noticed some shortcomings when it came to memorization. My advantage was obvious whenever a new task was presented to me and my peers. I would typically figure out what to do using logic and reasoning, giving the appearance of superior intellect. But I noticed that I wouldn't always retain the memory of how I solved the problem later. If the same group repeated the task later, I would actually fall behind while attempting to re-solve the problem while my peers just repeated the previous known steps. I'm 45 now and find myself in awe of people who can learn things and retain 90% of that knowledge, and even more so when they can find insights in the totality of that knowledge. I can still step in at times when others are stumped and present a solution that no one else considered. I can think outside the box or follow a logical sequence to find a solution, but if I don't write down how I did it, I won't be able to explain it weeks later.
Your channel has described in words the thoughts I’ve been having for the past two years. 17-19, is quite a transition. Becoming an adult was much different that I ever thought and I lose myself completely in the past. Dissociated completed with the feeling of missing out on so many milestones.
you can say the title of this video in the same melody as
"when our mama sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out"
like that 21P song
Needed this 🙏
Worst part is having zero ambitions
Every achievement I made was to fulfil expectations from outside myself and now at 20 I already feel like Ive lost every good quality I had growing up
New subscriber, you nailed it for me. I was a gifted kid as well and thought I was going to make it big. Yet I felt I was behind, first in high school and later in college as I never got the research experience I wanted or needed. I recently graduated Cum Laude from a state college with a degree in Biomedical Engineering. I keep listing all the missed opportunities, both because of COVID and my own avoidance since I felt everything had to take a back seat to my grades. And yet others did more and got better grades than me.
Which makes me ask what I did so wrong, was I too shy? Too lazy? Not bold enough? Some combination? Or part of a larger problem that I am mentally ill, school became my escape from my depression and trauma from the death of my mom and my larger dysfunctional family, especially my father. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others, everyone is running their own race and everyone has their own unique set of circumstances both advantageous and disadvantageous. But that doesn't satisfy why it seems everyone I know is getting attention from the university and getting what they want whilst I struggle just to get an internship. It doesn't help that being autistic I do tend to be a looner and I see asking for help as a weakness or admission of defeat. If I can just do everything that I set my mind to, then maybe people would love me and make me feel less lonely. But I also hate humanity thanks my cynical, pessimistic, and nihilistic worldview. Some people get happy, carefree, and pain-free lives. Others like myself don't, we're the ladybugs that shoulder the burden of this world's bad luck.
I want to do big things still, yet it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me since I have shit luck and too much trauma/emotional baggage...
Honestly, the public schools could have avoided causing this by doing the sensible thing with us from day 1:
Gently assess where early elementary students are, then challenge them appropriately as per their academic levels.
If our K-12th grade, rigid and on rails system wasn't rigid and on rails, if it was a more freeform system, this probably wouldn't happen. What's ironic about this we only do this in high school, once the problem is already eight years in developement. Starting at 9th grade in my area, students are put wither into algebra 1 or algebra 2, based on their performance in 8th grade math. The freeform structure is there for only the final 3rd of an American public education. Just imagine if it was there for all 12 years? Instead of having the "gifted kid" status out the gate, you could be "y3 math, y2 science, y1 art, y2 reading, y1 writing..." etc. By being placed with other students older or younger by a few years in each area of study, instead of having your self-judgement consist of "I'm told I'm gifted," you would not only be challenged, learning and moving forward at your level in your gifted areas, but also not overwhelmed in your weak areas. And on the psychological side of things, if every class is full of mixed ages, it will paint a clearer picture not just for where you are, but for what's around you that everyone has a different set of strengths and weaknesses.
I'm certain that would provide a more effective and healthier experience, both for those "gifted" and those who are approximately average.
Why the heck do we save a better system for a time when it will barely accomplish anything?
I love you channel a frickin' lot
This is a really great video!
I passed first place in my bachelors in classical guitar, which I only had started playing one year prior. I spent 6 year, (2 through the pandemic) only to quit in the end. For me, though, I was frustrated with the mediocrity of the whole system. Everything was leveled at such low standards it felt like a waste of time. I would skip most classes I could and sometimes would attend them drunk. The whole academic system felt like a tirany of the teacher pushing their agenda towards us and I felt no incentive for advancing in the work market. I am talking about a brazillian public college, though, so things could be different anywhere else. No I teach at a small school in my city, and I don't think those years were wasted, but they sure could have been more efficient.
Oof.... falling into avoidance. My heart.... everything you've said is so right and it's exactly what I'm going through
I feel personally attacked/ relate immensely to him... Almost exactly the same reason in fact. Was top of my school until I left to university (Cambridge), then realised I was ... Well... Exceedingly average there
haha hello fellow cantab
heh I was once called "gifted" and it really hurts now since I felt like I was a better person in the past it just feels like I'm getting worse and worse. . . and now I don't even know if I'm still gifted
Already comeback?
Thanks for always making good videos Sir Fads III
Thank you for teaching me something new.
I always said I’m a smart person, not an intelligent person. I believe there is a major difference. A lot of “gifted” kids are really smart but then we lack the intelligence part.
Smart people are great at absorbing information and then spitting it back out. We’re good at picking up process and repeating them.
Intelligent people can be given information and they can come up with something entirely new.
Smart people can tell you what lemon and water is. Intelligent people can make the lemonade.
Thank you man.
This video hit me in the belly. I am indeed not good at Facing uncertainty 😂
Again an amazing Video
This channel is amazing
you should look into the "Growth Mindset", having your identity tied to achievement (you ARE smart) is linked to negative outcomes. One should focus on building an identity around effort, instead of intelligence.
i guess I learned that the hard way. I coasted through high school with nothing but high grades nearly getting the highest grades in my year. Suddenly college rolled around and I was so unused to studying for anything I really got smacked in the face with reality and I still sort of struggle with it today since I'm used to reading once and knowing everything. Perhaps that's why some of the best stories of young rich folks are the ones who weren't the best at school. WOrking on change is a grind but it's satisfying to know at least a little bit of your accelerated mind makes it easier to study if you truly try.
This video helped me clear my mind🫂🤍
Honestly, I was usually in honors classes through high school at highly competitive high school. I was middle of the pack there. I ended up going to a state school and tested out of a year with a 4 year full ride. I stretched 3 years of classes into 4 and added classes that truly interested me that didnt add to my degree, French Existentialism, pistol and rifle marksmanship, arabic, and a handful of others. Those classes were the ones that gave me a jolt and created a weird, eclectic knowledge base that allowed me to enter a career completely outside my major.
I'm in my late 20's and I feel this so much.
Due to a crappy childhood & mental health I live off social care, don't have a driver license, can't hold a job. My first job education (this 3 year thing here in germany) i had to stop because of my health, also i started with it in my early 20's so I was fairly late for this. Now, about 10 yrs later my employment agent is about to decide if i get a 2nd chance to do an job education & tbh I'm not that optimistic. I'm at that point that, if anything feels like i have failed I just want to end it because i see no future for me. This education thing is kind of my last try to finally archieve something valuable & to finally live a happy life because how it is rn i'd rather be not here anymore. Well, at least I have a great boyfriend and a few people who are kinda nice.
YOU ARE NEEDED HERE. The world is counting on people like you to rise up and help make changes in the system. The next generation needs you. ❤❤❤❤
@@shanelgordon5447 thank you :/
We had the privilege of being able to question things early in life while our ancestors learnt hands-on skills and had work.
My destiny was to be a stock trader but I became mad and chose a sedentary lifestyle instead.
If you've not yet come across it, I would *highly* recommend reading up on the topic of Self-limiting High Potential Persons. Basically, 'gifted kids' who grow up without reaching their full potential, and therefore feel (consciously or subconsciously) some sense of unfulfillment or unhappiness. 'Your Own Worst Enemy' by Ken Christian is the best book on the topic I've come across, and reading it changed my life drastically. Self-help cannot be evangelized, but if you do feel open to it, I would recommend giving that book a read.
Ouch this hit way to close to home
wow you explained it so well
Gifted child as I was at secondary school here. Good grades in a very competitive class, getting on the highest scores to the university selection tests. Long story short, I’m almost 30yo know and discovered 3 years ago that I’m autistic 😅 and that-fffkn explains why since I graduated from secondary school my life has been a disaster. Today I have my degree in international gastronomy, and I’m specialising in baking and pastry. I really looking forward to run my own entrepreneurship, since I as an autistic person who requires some reasonable adjustment at work..to be able to work… you don’t find places to work.
So yes.
In my case the GIFTED CHILD was AUTISTIC as ffffffk. I only happened to function because my mom had routines for all day around the clock. But know that I need to manage my own time, I stink at it 😂 zero executive functions 😂
That’s me am burnt out now I used to have rlly high grades my gpa was like 3.9 now am kinda put down to 2.8 still kinda disappointed and also my parents stressed me like every day even weekends still they expect rlly big grades from me now am facing anxiety and depression I always cry get so emotional
It’s so embarrassing because I got straight A’s in my first year of highschool but then got really depressed and am currently only getting B’s and C’s. There goes my dream for a good uni
💯💯💯 So true
💯 *Especially* From 4:50 onward... 🙌 If only this could be the way we implement self-awareness for future generations from a young age. The world just might be ok after all. 🧡
My school always put the idea that I was gifted in my head, eventually they did an IQ test and put me into honors classes. I ended up gettin an opportunity to do a marine biology enriched curriculum, I was extremely interested in this back then but my parents ultimately decided not to pursue it. The year after I got my first C, and it’s been downhill since
*_sips mediocrity tea_*
Mediocri-tea?
@@micaelajonker made me laugh, made me giggle.
I genuinely hate people using the word "gifted" to describe people, especially young people, now. As someone who was labeled like this, it feels like parents and teachers pushing uneccecary expectations on to kids, and making them feel a certain way or giving them a certain mindset. In reality everyone is unique, and you can't just label someone as "gifted". Sure they can be smart, or have a high IQ but the word "gifted" places them on a pedstal, dooming them to fail. In reality they are another individual, and should be treated as such. "Gifted" children shouldn't be valued any more or less than any other child.
Ive kind of had the opposite problem, never feeling like ive been good enough and everyone else is infinitely better than me
Spit out that bitter imposter syndrome xp
Nothing's sweeter than the taste of accomplishing your own goals!
I always was told that I had a talent with drawing, my mom even told me that I was born for greatness. Now I'm 28, not able to do anything if perfection isn't guaranteed, and perfection does not exist, so I'm just existing each day not being able to even draw anymore, because if I do not paint a Mona Lisa and break the internet with it and become instantly famous and billionaire, then I shouldn't even try, then it means nothing, then I'm a failure. If I cannot maintain this gifted kid persona, then what am I?
People still say I'm talented and that I should be happy about it, but it just gives me an unrealistic expectation to fulfill, and makes me feel miserable if I'm not able to appear wise, talented and capable before the eyes of others.
What uni did you got to? What did you study?
Thank you
CZcams algorithm be getting too advanced
The title describes me pretty well
Fuck man i feel seen. I remember i got put in top set in High school but all my mates were in bottom. And top set were horrible.
I have never been a gifted kid, but I am still interested and clicked on this video like I skipped a middle school to go to the university
well im 16 2nd year of professional course instead of highschool ( yes its a thing) and still i ain't studying shit and getting great grades even on internship its fairly easy to do everyrthing, im at the point that even the guy who takes care of my internship doesn't know what to do, still i feel pointless and have no direction in life
Currently still in school, but I'd like to put in my two cents. I'm generally known as a good smart kid in school, and I was put into the Gifted and Talented program. I'm usually friends with other people in the "smart" allegory, and I actually surprised a few friends when they were talking about how it was unfair if GT kids worked together(They didn't know I was Gifted and Talented?). Hearing others talk about how "smart" they are in accordance to their grades is always so uncomfortable because being able to get 100% on a test should not correlate to if you are worth it or if you will do great things. Been friends with a lot of non-GT kids as well, and a few of them call themselves dumb due to failing grades when it's not true.
Also, isn't the label "Gifted" and "Talented" just dumb? Like, "It's an amazing gift to be able to do schoolwork!" or "Wow, this talent to find a few words is great!"(And yet I have a fear of losing the GT status haha-(This has made me scared of looking like a fool too)) The program gives you an extra project, and in one subject it swaps the work other people are doing for a project instead.
Was it more fun? Kind of. But the Gifted and Talented kids in my class would usually struggle at it which would lower our grade, what fun. Same thing for the extra project, it was extra work that didn't count for much and caused some struggle. Really wish I weren't in this program because sometimes the normal schoolwork seemed easier but there's not an option for that.
Anyways, that is some stuff you probably didn't care about, have a good day.
Genuinely- I was an inteligent autistic kid but I had to go to a special school cause I could NOT handle regular school, id just run around being a monke
but none ever thought anything of me, I got along much better with little kids and acted like one and I feel like its allowed me to flourish to my fullest possible potentual, even times when I was held back, I feel like it actually gave me the time to develop myself through Zen and other things to a point where I can seriously make a big difference in the world
Honestly I feel like people thinking little of me has been one of my greatest blessings
not to brag, my IQ was measured about 150 when i was about 7. Every single time it comes to my mind i just think i CAN make something else something different or the things i want, but I think I've never even tried. I'm 14, gonna be 10th grade in 10 days and 15 in December. The reason i can keep going is that i remind myself im still young and have time for relationships, self improvement or just like getting in a good University. I do doubt myself, but I think I'll find my way soon.
You will!
You still have so much time! Time to take new risks, make mistakes and learn from them, challenge yourself and see what you’re capable of.
I’m 23 and still just figuring this stuff out. :)
As you get older, generally the stakes get higher and your time gets busier. So right now and the next few years of your life is one of the best opportunities to take a chance on yourself in anything you want to give a try 💗
@indp. iv i agree… same thing to me kinda
@indp. iv thank you. I'm 16 too, and also beat myself up about not sticking to habits. that one comment about watching TV at 2am and hating yourself afterwards happened last night, except with CZcams. I looked in the mirror and felt such a deep disappointment in my own actions. I never considered that others may do it too, or that I will have my faults and fuckups because I am human. I suppose also that I only hate myself after because I hold myself to much higher standards than those around me and maybe thats a good thing.
I feel like I am running out of time. I didn't make good use of summer break like I intended to. I want everything to happen quickly but the world doesn't work that way.
I'll be back in school in a few days. CZcamsrs I watch say school is pointless if you go out into the world and provide value, build yourself up, learn sales, start a business, read constantly, do martial arts. School is something I consider 'slipping back into focussing on', if that makes sense. It's easy, everyone has to do it, if school is a big deal you're not working hard enough.
Only 2 years and I will go out into the big wide world. Do I go to university? Go travelling? Get a job? These years of my life are paved with constant and tumultuous uncertainty. My peers seem unbothered and that worries me.
I have trust in my character and my ability to learn and grow. I love my parents and they have provided me a fantastic springboard for success. I worry that I won't make it, that I'll flop, that I will choose the wrong route, put too many eggs in one basket and drop it.
What you say about progress and forgetting how far we have come is very true. I think back to my previous self. I have quit instagram, tiktok and have cut down CZcams. I lift weights consistently, am far more confident, appreciate my family more, am more present in interactions, and have a close and balanced relationship with my girlfriend.
The more you grow, the more you realise just how much further there is to go.
@indp. iv I don't think I've ever related to someone so closely, especially over the Internet. Even down to "feeling particularly down at the moment" - I'm also pushing through a low patch, but it always gets better.
It's funny how you can consciously know something is incorrect while also believing it to be true. I know that having breaks is healthy and necessary, especially after an exam period and after so long working on myself. I know that there are times it is good to take your foot off the gas a little and maintain what you have, but I still apply pressure to myself to push for more, justifying it by saying "life is short" and "I'm young and responsibility-less, now is the best time to work hard".
You sound like someone I would be very good friends with. I only have one friend on self improvement, and he's fallen into the redpill cesspit. I have a few friends I am going to cut off. There's not many of us, whether or not that's a good or bad thing, I don't know.
Either way you have a very logical head on your shoulders and we have to trust the process. We will be in much better stead to take on opportunities that present themselves than people who have not worked so hard on their studies and themselves.
All the best.
PhD dropout here, and yes to everything you said.
Why am I experiencing this at 16😭
I used to be burnt out, now I’m the gifted old man 👴🏻
Everyone I trusted when I grew up called me intelligent and gifted with words. I spent a lot of time having to solve adults problems as a kid and I felt like I was 'gifted'. It turned out that most of the adults in my environment were... dumb. They were below average when seen through most lenses and I was merely.. Average.
yeah but that abundance of dumb people hasn't gone away and they can still derive value from your intelligence. focus on helping them out :)
I don't think they said I was gifted because I was smart. I think they said that because most of the kids either didn't try at all or were really dumb.
Fun fact most gifted kids got pisspoor understanding of fundemental stuff. Ie a gifted artist. Its cause gifted folks are just better at something at first. But talents a jumpstart. Not learning you got a jumpstart. Its why most gifted people burn out cause they arent taught to pace themselves like theyre 30, take criticism or never were forced to learn studying. Its why telling a kid they're talented and smart is the cruelest thing one can do. Id reccomend marco buccis video, while its about art it applies to life in general.
You look and sound like a young Captain Sisko, did you know that?
if i have seen further, it is because i stood on the shoulders of giants - sir isaac newton -
This whole thing hits hard, but I’m more at the mid life crisis age.
I am dealing with perfectionism. My self-expectation is unrealistic and toxic. I think it stems from the desire to be love and accepted. I used to believes someone worth is depend on how smart and intelligent they are. I was that academic and quiet kids on the outside, but behind doors I am addicted to unhealthy daydreaming, fantasy and pornography. I always pretend I'm ok and likes to deal with thing myself. Now being 20 year old, I realized too late I am not a smart guy, just someone with a lot of resources and opportunity. University is getting tough. My addictions is drowning me. I realized now that I needed help all along.