How To Stop Being Boring In Conversation
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- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
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In today’s video you’ll learn 6 habits that will make people love being around you. With examples from a celebrity that seems almost universally loved: Ryan Gosling.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:07 - #1: Have fun
0:21 - Absurd analogies
1:09 - The mind's eye method
1:37 - Deadpan humor
2:52 - The fake walkoff
3:24 - #2: Tell funny embarrassing stories
3:58 - Emphasize you're aware it was embarrassing
4:59 - Call attention to your awkward moments
5:51 - #3: Create authenticity
6:36 - Compliment authenticity when you see it
7:10 - #4: Make people feel good around you
7:22 - Show that you like who they are
8:06 - Combine the compliment with a joke
8:58 - #5: Be playfully humble
10:05 - #6: Self validation
11:26 - How can you gain unshakable confidence?
12:15 - The quickest way to build confidence
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#CharismaOnCommand #RyanGosling
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All what I got from this video is: "Be more like Ryan Gosling"
😂😂😂😂
not a bad motto
And really, just be more fun :)
"Just make a banter like a Hollywood actor on a talk show for old people"
Lol I bet it would work tho
“ Want it, but don’t need it.” That’s one powerful sentence.
No it’s not 😂
Agreed 👍🏻
I think that may have stood out the most of the entire video. I liked all the suggestions, but the reassurance that you'll be OK when things don't go as you plan them is something that is so valuable. Currently it is something I struggle with, but seeing it casually mentioned like this offers a reminder and I hope one day it becomes cemented within me.
Love this
@@taten007 no u
One thing I notice makes people very likable is to listen intentionally and remember things about your conversation partner, then casually mention those things in a later conversation. It makes the other person feel special for having a place in your memory.
Demonstrating that you believe the other person can be interesting, and thus deserves your attention (which will provoke something to stick inside your memory most likely so you can later recall it like you mention), makes so much sense. That's a core belief of mine that helps I think: everyone has a story to share, something to teach you. Memorizing things about people can come by so naturally if you approach things this way.
I mean I guess, but whenever I do that people seem to take it for granted. There’s no getting through to damaged people.
Me with adhd forgeting even the smallest details:
About 8 years ago, give or take, I heard a similar thing on one of your videos that changed my life forever. "Even if things don't go to plan, know that you'll be ok." It really turned my confidence around when I started to put it into practice. I went from a dead-end cleaning job in Scotland to having the guts to move to China for now going on 5 years as a teacher. I've made authentic friends and I am in a great relationship because I now feel comfortable navigating interactions because I WANT to have them, not because I need something from the other person. Thank you, Charisma On Command
thats amazing do you speak the language ?
@@justjoshin7740 Thanks man! As of the end of August, I am now on my 6th year here.
I know just enough Mandarin Chinese to get myself into trouble, but not enough to get myself out of it :D My learning of the language isn't structured, so I know a random assortment of simple and advanced stuff, but my fundamentals are very shaky at a primary school academic level. I can manage my classroom in Chinese for the most part, but I can't always answer every random question from the kids (kids ask a lot of random things), so I need some help from my fellow room teachers from time to time
Men,
FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE
- Have a strict morning routine.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, shares & funds.
- Income Generating Activity eg business or a farm.
- Lift weights. Eat healthy.
- Read books.
- Learn a skill & foreign language.
Have DISCIPLINE.
Which of these things you do?@@entreprenur00
The John Ham Mad Men episode!!! Definitely helped me a lot too!! Glad to here it for you!!!
Of all the tips in this video, I think the one I have the hardest time with (and many other people, I'm sure) is mixing playful humility with genuinely accepting a compliment. The playful humility isn't necessarily the hard part, but being able to accept a compliment in genuine and charismatic way is tough!
First, you need to be able to genuinely accept a compliment (no need to be charismatic, just be appreciative). A simple "thank you" with a genuine smile works. Something that I do, and which helps boost my own self-confidence, is I'll reflect on their compliment later on, and accept it at face value. Another way I work to help myself believe the compliments I'm given, is if I feel comfortable in the moment asking, I'll just ask, "Oh? What do you mean?" with a smile. That way the person complimenting me knows that I'm not offended, that I'm genuinely curious, and they have the chance to elaborate (which I can then take and reinforce the positive thoughts).
If you're always turning a compliment into a joke, it tells others that you're not self-confident and you'll appear to deflect or be uncomfortable with compliments. Most nice people don't want to intentionally make someone uncomfortable so you'll stop receiving as many compliments. Also, playful humility should be readily apparent that it is a joke; would you want a friend or colleague to beat themself up in front of you if you complimented them?
@@jaredlash5002 would be funny if some people would beat themselves up if you compliment them tho 🤣
Just smile and say, "thank you, you're very sweet." or something similar
In fact you can push this further if the compliment comes from someone you're interested, and make sure the response makes it clear you like them. Just change the word "sweet" to "beautiful/lovely" etc.
I usually will say, “aw/wow thank you, that means a lot. my ego can never get enough compliments, please keep them coming”
Well Ryan is quick witted, and that does at least 60% of the heavily lifting in his charisma lol
That is a skill anyone can develop
@@Vivi_9 How?
@@ZeeJayBaypractice
@@sathira_anuk5179 facts
Doesn't feel completely right, however his attractiveness probably allows him to have more practice at social situations.
Step 1: be Ryan gosling
I just want to say I was so akward in highschool and your videos got me to a point where I actually can interact with people positively. I have transitioned into more stable stuff now but I was a freelance model for my early twenties and I really think a large part of my success was you teaching me a formula to apply to conversations. So thank you ❤
Hello how are you doing
How do you get into freelance modeling?
@@noeliagutierrez4223 I had a few photographer friends ask if they could take photos of me to build their portfolio and sort of fell into it through that. Though I should say it's lots of promotions work, think car shows and bar openings. If you want to be an actual fashion model, build a portfolio, go to angencies and try to get them to represent you. If someon says they are a headhunter and approaches you on the street, always look the agency up online and call the number associated with the website, not the card the man on the street gives you as a safety measure.
@@Nopeasaurus no it's actually pretty boring with lots of admin work. That's why most people go with agencies because it's frustrating dull to book and negotiate contracts alone. There are lots of beautiful people, there are not as many beautiful people wanting to negotiate contracts and maintain consistent working hours.
00:16 1. Go into conversation with intention of having fun
03:27 2. Tell funny, embarrassing stories from your past
05:51 3. Create authenticity in your conversations
07:10 4. Make people feel good around you
08:58 5. Be playfully humble
10:08 6. Self validation
Bless you
@@fewntug3760 🙏🙏
It‘s just the same things over and over again on this channel… I liked it when they analysed celebrities. But nowadays it‘s just the same advices you can read in any self-help book.
Thank you!
Thank you for doing this!
I absolutely love Ryan cause hes a great example of an extremely likeable and confident person who everyone would love to be around
Canadian eh!
I feel it's so rare to see Ford laugh out loud and the fact that Ryan is able to make him do that multiple times IN THE SAME INTERVIEW is remarkable😂🔥
“Do you guys need help with the cameras?” That was so funny, definitely gonna use these tips!😆
Just pretend you are constantly in front of a camera, that will make you memorable.
after seeing this I realize that the reason I remained calm the other week in a big presentation over zoom where I had massive technical issues is because I thought the stakes weren't that high. Now I just need to apply that to other areas!
“I feel a ken in you” lmao I always knew he seemed nice, is handsome, etc but did not know he was actually funny 😂
How to be Ryan Gosling
You can't
@@DeityOfValor😥
To anyone trying to "become confident" let me tell you something: confidence is not something you are born with. Confidence is a skill, a habit, or even, sometimes, an act. The "confident" people around you have spent months, maybe years developing their ways of getting around in social situations and you can do that too, it's easy, but also A LOT of effort and repetition.
Its a mindset. When you stop caring about what others think of you, confidence in a discussion becomes really easy.
This is the first comment I read here that wasn't fortune cookie BS. I always watch these and think, "oh, yeah? The guy that walks on stage and women scream and fall over themselves to throw their underpants at him has confidence?" And all I need to do is be more like that guy, eh?
My comment was: nothing makes me more confident than realizing I should act more like someone else.
Your comment makes more sense to me than the whole video. Thanks.
This video just explained how to be Canadian. Humour, humility and honesty.
how to be ryan gosling tutorial
Ryan is pretty much Stoicism personified - great video example!
If i understand right, you may refer to the part where the award is handed out?
I knew Ryan Gosling before he became famous. After Mickey Mouse Club. He is genuinely a super kind, very thoughtful guy. He’s a rare, unique, amazing soul.
As an aside: my wife once literally saw Ryan Gosling run into LA traffic to rescue a dog. He legit rescues dogs I guess.
The guy saying "you're better than that" while Ryan is having the time of his life being Ken 😂😂😂
"The stakes aren't that high" - I appreciate that knowing the ground is underneath you and you're not walking a tightrope
Hey, I've learned so much from this channel and would like to make a suggestion for future videos to help the advice be more applicable: using more realistic examples. The celebrity examples are helpful for general principles, but they're mostly performers (celebrities, talk show hosts, etc) interacting with other performers, and the extremely larger-than-life personalities/interactions are not only extremely rare in real life among strangers/acquaintances, but people like that would come off as mentally ill. For example, where I live (Pacific Northwest), touching people at all is very odd unless you're already very close to them, and people don't usually speak in such an animated loud way.
Something to consider if you're open to feedback. Regardless, this channel is grade A content, so thank you for it!
Fair, but I don’t think you’d get nearly as much clicks with general principles and NOT having a famous celebrity in the thumbnail/examples!
How did you get so good at reading people in these different situations? Truly awesome content. I keep coming back to this channel👍
Its like hes incredibly PRESENT. Amd confident in himself.
The first joke, the Jackson Pollock joke, was also great because it was callback to a joke that the comedian to his left, Greg Davies, had made earlier in the interview.
actually, it is the opposite. Greg said it after. He even looked at Ryan when he repeated the joke
@@salomemunoz2110yeah ive seen those clips soo many times and I didn’t realise that until recently
Being yourself but being the most confident version of yourself is the safest and best thing we can do.
We might not all have million experiences to share in conversations but we can all still be fun people to hang out with!
These videos have helped me out in my personal life and professional life. I'm less in my head and more in the present and part of me is coming out that I never knew existed and it's making me connect with people at a higher level. It's incredible how small changes in your delivery changes everything. Anyone doubting taking tips from these videos, don't doubt it. take it and own it.
Congratulations my friend 😊
Keep it up!
This is so cool. “You don’t have to be perfect for people to like you”
Wow I never paid attention to Ryan gosling before but the man is a charisma legend. Thanks for this video
Ryan is just a great example of a polite down to earth person
my best part of this video is " Want it don't need it, u'll have another opportunities and no matter what, u'll be okay".
What are the most important soft skills to have?
The ability to understand people's motivations.
If you don't understand people, they become arbitrary. You'll live in a world where people screw you over for no reason, and you'll waste a lot of energy being angry and depressed. You might also think people's actions have something to do with you when they don't. This will mess with your self-image and hinder your interactions with other people.
You'll have a lot of trouble resolving conflicts because good conflict resolution requires both parties to see the other person's side. This will cause you to lose friends and put you at a disadvantage in your career. It also makes people hate you.
Watching these videos every once in a while has helped alot over the last couple years!!
Ryan is a good man. More than that actually.
The self laugh trick were you laughing at a mistake you just made, it's actually very effective and reminded me of of an early 20th century politician and diplomat from my country
It's during the talks about the peace talks after ww2 and his giving a speache in English that was basically self-told
In some point he realize that he made a mistake pause gives a Naughty smile towards the camera and continues - a master piece
What I learned from this is I need to see more Ryan Gosling interview. "Fecal Jackson Pollock" has me in stitches.
Needed that message at the end, thanks Ben 🙏🏾
Great supportive clips 👌 Really ties together with the voiceover to make a point.
I already do most of this stuff, but now I know how to use it consciously. Thanks.
This channel helped me realize that I wasn't an introvert, I just needed to learn communication skills. I am a completely different person, because I can be confident about making jokes and having amazing conversations. So much valuable advice over the years. Thank you Charisma on Command!
My man took the im literally Ryan Gosling to a whole new level!!!
"the stakes aren't that high" I needed that. Thank you so much!
This feels so good to believe. I am living vicariously through his confidence. It's no big deal. The sun will rise once more.
Ryan Gosling is extremely charismatic! His personality is so attractive and damn he's soooo fine!
It's amazing to see just how difficult confidence is for some people. Extrovert personalities understand this better than most when they freely express themselves and receive ostracized belittlement.
On the other side of the coin, Introvert personalities can have a tremendous amount of confidence when they're focused and goal oriented.
Best Moments for me. Words in [square brackets] are my own thoughts
Each key point I have put a heading for me to refer back to. But also making each key point useful for anyone reading it.
For me, my top moments are
Embarrassment Awareness Strategy 4:40
Compliment plus Joke 8:08
Superpower Moment 11:47
Ridiculous Comparisons
00:58 It is like the sun. I cannot stare directly at this dish towel !!
Deadpan humour must lead to a smirk to show you are joking
[so important to smile so then people know it is a safe space. Your face shows seriousness but you break then tension with a smile and a laugh]
02:23 Ryan to interviewer: I feel a kenergy between us. I feel a ken in you
[ sounds like You have got a friend in me. Is he changing the words from Toy Story when Ryan says I feel a ken in you.
This could be clever word play. In Toy Story 3, Barbie and Ken were 2 characters]
Confidence Strategy
03:28 tell stories at your expense. Laugh when you tell them. ‘I wish I could say here you have to wear this but it was my idea to wear this outfit.’
Embarrassment Awareness Strategy
03:58 when you emphasize you are aware it is embarrassing, this invites others to laugh at you.
Use this as a go-to story when meeting new people. 4:40 When your brain sends your toungue to investigate.
Compliment plus Joke
08:08 You know I cant do the string dance. No one can. I had a friend die trying to do the string dance. [This is so funny. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I burst out laughing here !]
Calmness Serenity Outlook
11:00 I thought someone had been hurt. Turns out they just read the wrong name off the card. [ High quality perspective moment by Ryan]
Superpower moment perspective
11:47 It is a superpower to go into a conversation knowing you don’t need anything from it. Want it don’t need it.
Thanks 😊.
@@godloveskaren You are very welcome. Which was your favourite point?
Out of these 3 points which I mentioned at the top
Embarrassment Awareness Strategy 4:40
Compliment plus Joke 8:08
Superpower Moment 11:47
It is the last one on Superpower Moment 11:47
How about you?
@@WilliamJonesChess superpower
Hello how are you doing
Hello how are you doing
Such an amazing collection of ways to make things more positive in life!
This video is about How to never be boring in conversation and how to stop worrying and start living 🎉
Thanks a lot for this great video, hope it goes viral ❤
Dale Carnegie
The best tips I've never even heard of before! Awesome!
Loved the video. Ryan is truly amazing!
I like the video . Thanks for posting this. Honesty is important. So is doing your job and researching before interviewing.
Awesome content like always! Thank you
Oh this video was amazing, the best way to start your day thank you so much
A truly excellent video!!! Thanks for sharing!
As someone who has done charisma university, it is actually amazing and great
You should do a video on Shawn from Psych, he is very either
1 charismatic, or
2 just the main character.
i literally thought in my mind "well i would say 'its like looking at the sun' but he probably wouldn't say something like that"
Kenergy 😂 Ryan G is hilarious what a great guy to learn from ❤
Really helpful! Want more videos like this! 🙂
Ryan is always well dressed and makes every interview more fun. Whereas Ken naked and in the middle of the floor makes things awkward and wondering why I am here. LOL
I've noticed sometimes when I'm having a conversation especially with ppl i don't know i feel i got nothing to lose and throw one pun after the other, also many people tell me a lot that even though i don't talk much, when I do say wonderful things
He is a really funny guy! I actually laughed 3 times here 😂😂
🌸A WISE MAN ONCE SAID
1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;
2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.
3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.
4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don't you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;
5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;
6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;
7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what's 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;
8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;
9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you're;
10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;
12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;
13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;
14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors' appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say "I hope you’re okay". Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they'll do so without your inquisitiveness;
15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;
16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;
17. Never give advice until you’re asked;
18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;
19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly - just stay out of it;
20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and
21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don't talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
Every life has positive and negative ingredients that make up one’s history. Take a moment to let gratitude move through you now. Every pain that has grown into wisdom. Everything you know now that you did not know before.
Ask how much you like who you are and create kindness around your answer, no matter what it is. Know that you have power over who you want to be.
Nothing helps me build my confidence like realizing that all I have to do is be more like someone else.
What about shy, timid, quiet people?
Fantastic video! Thanks!!
It is flattering to be featured on such a popular channel. Its actually literally me in the thumbnail
Great episode!
Damn he smooth!
Confident is the Freedom of doing anything you want to do. You can get this freedom if you dont expect something from outside, because then you try hard to get this or force that. Hava simple goals for example: A funny conversation, not a that they like you only funny. Or anything else. And if you accept yourself with your strenghts and weaknesses the meaning of other peoble become irrelevant because you know what you are and what you want you dont need a meaning from outside. Thats also the trick to become fearless in society because noone and nothing can hurt you or bring you out of concept because have your own very strong meaning of yourself and about what you want from live. Take this mindset if you want to become free in society. Much Success!
the video made me a Ryan Gosling fan. no joke the way he is just super good. you have to take over.
Gosling is a good role model in social skills and attitude.
Wow, I didn't know I liked Ryan Gosling so much. Thanks for the video.
I think you just have to be so happy with your life and situation that it just exudes from you. Someone who is suffering financially and not doing well just can’t feel like stirring up a convo
These are the people that were having mentors through their lifes and have been taught how to communicate on the best level. A person from broken family with no good look, support from close ones or money has no freaking chance to develop this kind of self confidence to be part of the 'funny' community.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🤩 Focus on having fun in conversations rather than seeking approval.
00:28 😂 Use absurd analogies to make conversations more entertaining.
01:14 😄 Employ the Mind's Eye method to create amusing mental images.
01:45 😶 Use deadpan humor but be absurd enough to make it clear you're joking.
02:12 😬 Share funny embarrassing stories from your past to appear confident and relatable.
03:14 🙈 Embrace authenticity by acknowledging and appreciating genuine moments in conversations.
05:32 😅 Call out awkward moments and share embarrassing stories with a smile.
07:15 🤝 Compliment people genuinely to make them feel good about themselves.
09:07 🙌 Playfully accept compliments and mix in some humility for a charismatic response.
10:24 💪 Maintain unshakable confidence by internalizing that the stakes in most situations aren't that high.
Made with HARPA AI
😂as someone who has to drink 4 beers just hang out with my best friend, I'm gonna need to keep watching your videos
2:28 The interviewer at this point was hysterical 😆😆😂
I don’t need more friends. I’ve got too many as it is. Haha. Thank you for sharing this video!
So be Ryan Gosling. Got it.
ryan gosling is That Girl for so many reasons
Well done!
Excellent video.
11:56 straight up ripped that line right out of Matthew McConaughey's book Green Lights lol...
Guy in the thumbnail is literally us.
Got it become Ryan gosling
I've watched all videos from this channel and thought I could use the knowledge i got, but in actual application I freeze and forget what to say 😂
Because that’s not your natural behavior
Loved this video
Liar
i cant stop laughing, didnt expect this video to be just ryan gosling
JLaw is the queen of embarrassing stories
Step #1: don't forget to be handsome.
Handsome af
I don't usually comment, but this video was awesome, is important to know that even if charisma doesn't come as natural as other skills one may have, is still just that, a skill, something that can be improved on.
the ability to speak without feeling bored has many benefits in various aspects of life, both in personal relationships and career.
Im imagining that these actors have had a lot of coaching on how to be very charismatic. Of course right? They’re actors. They make it look easy
This is so good
"I feel a Ken in you"
I sent learn anything from this I just laughed at watching Ryan gosling all the time