Well 👏🏾 said!! 👏🏾 For those toxic, neglectful, & abusive parents who didn’t take care of their former kids when they needed the love, care, & support, how will it be any different if the former kids decided to have kids?? What makes the adults owe them ANYTHING?? 🤷🏾♀️😒🚫💯
This is something I definitely struggled with when deciding to become childfree. I know my mom would make an AMAZING grandmother and would help me so much during throughout pregnancy and afterwards.However, that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to be the one doing majority of the work. Giving birth, changing diaper, breastfeeding, sending them to daycare, etc. It’s your life at the end of the day and you shouldn’t decide to be a parent because your parents want grandkids.
My parents has grandchildren from my siblings. They don't need any from me. I've been damaged enough to know I don't want my hypothetical kids to live through the same. Plus, the earth is already dying.
I recently heard about a married couple who sued their adult son because he and his wife still haven't given them a grandchild that's so wrong what they did
WOW. So well said. I especially loved the points about our parents' generation leaving us with a society in which we have to fight for our survival, and the idea that they get to spoil their "shiny new prize" after many have been subpar parents. Love this video and this message. 💜
This is definitely something that has crossed my mind in the past. My parents have never pressured me to have children - any comments made in passing have honestly been very harmless and more theoretical rather than directed at me personally. I struggle with it from my own perspective because I am an only child and I had a great upbringing. My parents gave me a wonderful childhood and set me up really well for adulthood. I think they would be wonderful grandparents. But I have to remember that they would still be MY children and I would still be the one responsible for raising them. And that's a dealbreaker for me.
Bullseye 🎯💯👍🏻 I personally share very close thoughts to what you say so it's very very nice to see someone from across this world with very similar mindsets speaking up and sharing since not everyone can do it or have the time and simple finances to do it or the voice to do it, so you're really doing awesome work by just being you along with your husband who comes occasionally on this channel, you two are an inspiration and hope for someone like me who still haven't found the lifetime partner. It's always nice to hear your similar thoughts from someone else and I wish you the best even more on this channel🙏🏻
You don't owe anyone anything you are an amazing woman interesting video glad i found your channel channels like yours let make me sure i made the right decision
These conversations are so interesting to have, especially when family members really open up about their feelings on things. While it can be tough with some of the setbacks we face in our modern world, this comment reminds me and I’m sure others about how fortunate we are to be able to feel fully comfortable to make this choice for ourselves!
So far, the only "legacy" that most families have are basically defects and failures. Some of which are genetic. How are any of those worth passing down in any way? Not trying to be mean, but still
I can agree to this! In my experience, my family hasn’t done anything grand or notable and simply went through the motions of life. It’s interesting to learn as well how trauma can also be passed down as far as our grandmothers. So we can have our grandmothers and mothers trauma on top of our own.
Thank you. I have never understood the video's of a child telling their parents they are going to be Grandparents, resulting in tears, cheers and excitement from the senior parties. (A celebration of their child having sex?? So weird). It is the choice of the children to have a child or not. It has nothing to do with their parents wanting grandchildren or if they will be great Grandparents etc. As stated in the video, none of us had a choice in being born......so carefully decide if you want to put that burden on someone else (especially in this age of anticipated world war).
I have made the decision to be be child free but my dad keeps pouting about how it be nice to have granchildren and how the birth rate is declining in western countries
Everyone fails to realize why the birth rate is declining sadly. If we all looked around we would see why. It’s no longer as affordable as it once was, many people have to wait longer to have children while they build their careers in order to afford children, and with a higher age can come a harder ability to conceive. Not to mention, the stuff they put in our food is affecting peoples reproduction symptoms. Sadly, they’ll blame the 2-9% of us in the USA for choosing not to have children rather than addressing some of the major issues that play a bigger hand.
Women just don't want to be mothers anymore. Give women rights and the birthrates decline. It's a very good sign of our world becoming a better place. 8 billion is to much anyways, look at all the destroyed nature to feed animals in factory farming. Less people = more nature
I hate when parents want Grandhcildren to spoil when they could've been the same for you. Children: The Scourge Grandchildren: The Blessing It really makes me think of how they suffer through parenthood to make the goalpost of Disney Grandparent. Ugh
Something my mom would continually tell us growing up! I got tired of it and eventually told her she could spoil her own kids who are currently living under her roof.
As a man in his 30s, I often hear the question about having children, especially from my mother. I personally don't want kids, and it's been a challenge finding a partner who shares my perspective. It seems like most women do want to have children, which can feel like a significant obstacle
31 year old male with high functioning autism (Asperger's Syndrome) My own father put a guilt trip on me last weekend when I told him that my stance on not wanting children hasn't changed and won't change. He then said "Son I'm disappointed in your decision that I won't get to be a grandparent!" - This came across to me like I'm obligated to owe him a child with my future girlfriend/wife :/ I'm sorry but should I be angry with him that he's attempting to guilt trip me into something I know I don't want.
Watching the progression of my adulthood into married life with children, the perspective antinatalism offers is 100%. And I cringe at memories I have of my mother starting arguments with my brother and SIL who weren’t physiologically able to have kids yet she could care less about the guilt tripping by asking them to “do more” for the sake of them feeling complete in life. Let’s bring more into the hell hole we’re stuck in because we’re unsatisfied with this absurdity called life. At this point, I have 4 little ones that I’m doing all that I can to raise to be strong and well. But the older ones already 100% know I will NEVER ask for a grandchild and in fact warn them about the work, time and resources it takes to raise happy/healthy humans yet without any kind of guarantee in the end. Be real.
As a 24 year old guy, I feel a little for my dad. I know he would love to be a grandfather. He technically is, but not biologically. My 27 year old brother on the otger plan is a diffeebt diffeebt story. My mom says he and his girlfriend are dead set on having kids, but we'll see. Plans and descions can change. So I guess I'm still not fully convinced hes gonna have kids.
I stay child free reason is because I want to save up travel world see many different countries it’s expensive to do both it’s good to see new places so am saving up for that because children can be expensive and harder to travel
Not sure I agree with this. The excuse of the world not a proper place for raising kids is not true. The world has always been a dangerous place. We grew up in during the Cold War. I served in the military due to the draft during the Vietnam. My wife was a stay at home mom. I worked hard to provide for our daughters. As far as financial resources, our daughters inherit all of our assets. I don't believe it is too much to want and ask for grandchildren. On a more practical basis, where is the future tax base to provide services?
Taking care of a kid sufficiently doesn't cost 35k a month.. you said your bills are but a kid is costly? It's ok be selfish and to not want kids but don't make it sound hard or costly when it's not..lil girls nowadays listen to and watch shit like this
3 to 5 k not 35k. Factoring in rent/mortgage, bills, groceries, home/renters insurance, car payments, car insurance, etc. With children you have to anticipate a higher cost in groceries, higher consumption of gas for driving children to school and activities, more than likely most people also need a bigger home and car, more visits to doctors, clothing and necessities they will need, costs of daycare (which is the cost of a whole paycheck where I am), as well as helping them for college.
I am german and I don't get why you US folks have to pay for college. It's like your government is hypercapitalistic AND doesn't want well educated experts.
Having kids in Germany isn't as expensive as in the US because we are a developed country, we have 3 years paid maternity leave and public healthcare and employees have a lot of rights and so on. But women choose not to be mothers. It's not all about money. Your body is ruined after pregnancy, the romance in the relationship is gone, you are very likely to loose your carreer. I don't have to worry about money, but I don't want to do all the motherhood work.
My parents are very supportive of my childfree life but my in-laws never treated me right but still want a child from me.
Well 👏🏾 said!! 👏🏾 For those toxic, neglectful, & abusive parents who didn’t take care of their former kids when they needed the love, care, & support, how will it be any different if the former kids decided to have kids?? What makes the adults owe them ANYTHING?? 🤷🏾♀️😒🚫💯
This is something I definitely struggled with when deciding to become childfree. I know my mom would make an AMAZING grandmother and would help me so much during throughout pregnancy and afterwards.However, that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to be the one doing majority of the work. Giving birth, changing diaper, breastfeeding, sending them to daycare, etc. It’s your life at the end of the day and you shouldn’t decide to be a parent because your parents want grandkids.
She can take in foster children when she is amazing with kids.
In Germany you get paid 900€ per month.
I don't think children owe parents a grandchildren. I see these kind of parents want to have the easy part of interacting with the grandchild.
Parents asking for grandchildren is exactly like kids asking parents for toys
@@swatisaini6447 yes. It's only for their own entertainment
My parents has grandchildren from my siblings. They don't need any from me. I've been damaged enough to know I don't want my hypothetical kids to live through the same. Plus, the earth is already dying.
Absolutely children don't owe their parents grandchildren luckily my mother accepts my decision to not have children
Hallelujah! Please tell my parents!!
I recently heard about a married couple who sued their adult son because he and his wife still haven't given them a grandchild that's so wrong what they did
In india right? Yeah that happened
🤯
WOW. So well said. I especially loved the points about our parents' generation leaving us with a society in which we have to fight for our survival, and the idea that they get to spoil their "shiny new prize" after many have been subpar parents. Love this video and this message. 💜
This is definitely something that has crossed my mind in the past. My parents have never pressured me to have children - any comments made in passing have honestly been very harmless and more theoretical rather than directed at me personally. I struggle with it from my own perspective because I am an only child and I had a great upbringing. My parents gave me a wonderful childhood and set me up really well for adulthood. I think they would be wonderful grandparents. But I have to remember that they would still be MY children and I would still be the one responsible for raising them. And that's a dealbreaker for me.
Bullseye 🎯💯👍🏻
I personally share very close thoughts to what you say so it's very very nice to see someone from across this world with very similar mindsets speaking up and sharing since not everyone can do it or have the time and simple finances to do it or the voice to do it, so you're really doing awesome work by just being you along with your husband who comes occasionally on this channel, you two are an inspiration and hope for someone like me who still haven't found the lifetime partner.
It's always nice to hear your similar thoughts from someone else and I wish you the best even more on this channel🙏🏻
Actually if my parents had raised me better they probably would have grandchildren. My health would have been a lot better.
You don't owe anyone anything you are an amazing woman interesting video glad i found your channel channels like yours let make me sure i made the right decision
Nothing like knowing you're not alone. Community is so important.
I talked to my mom about this finally and learned she and my grandmother didn’t want kids so she completely understands and I was so happy
These conversations are so interesting to have, especially when family members really open up about their feelings on things. While it can be tough with some of the setbacks we face in our modern world, this comment reminds me and I’m sure others about how fortunate we are to be able to feel fully comfortable to make this choice for ourselves!
So far, the only "legacy" that most families have are basically defects and failures. Some of which are genetic. How are any of those worth passing down in any way? Not trying to be mean, but still
I can agree to this! In my experience, my family hasn’t done anything grand or notable and simply went through the motions of life. It’s interesting to learn as well how trauma can also be passed down as far as our grandmothers. So we can have our grandmothers and mothers trauma on top of our own.
Thank you. I have never understood the video's of a child telling their parents they are going to be Grandparents, resulting in tears, cheers and excitement from the senior parties. (A celebration of their child having sex?? So weird).
It is the choice of the children to have a child or not. It has nothing to do with their parents wanting grandchildren or if they will be great Grandparents etc.
As stated in the video, none of us had a choice in being born......so carefully decide if you want to put that burden on someone else (especially in this age of anticipated world war).
I have made the decision to be be child free but my dad keeps pouting about how it be nice to have granchildren and how the birth rate is declining in western countries
Everyone fails to realize why the birth rate is declining sadly. If we all looked around we would see why. It’s no longer as affordable as it once was, many people have to wait longer to have children while they build their careers in order to afford children, and with a higher age can come a harder ability to conceive. Not to mention, the stuff they put in our food is affecting peoples reproduction symptoms. Sadly, they’ll blame the 2-9% of us in the USA for choosing not to have children rather than addressing some of the major issues that play a bigger hand.
Declining birth rates is great. Earth is overpopulated.
Women just don't want to be mothers anymore.
Give women rights and the birthrates decline.
It's a very good sign of our world becoming a better place.
8 billion is to much anyways, look at all the destroyed nature to feed animals in factory farming. Less people = more nature
This was very well said 🤍
People who want grandchildren can take in foster kids.
I hate when parents want Grandhcildren to spoil when they could've been the same for you.
Children: The Scourge
Grandchildren: The Blessing
It really makes me think of how they suffer through parenthood to make the goalpost of Disney Grandparent. Ugh
Something my mom would continually tell us growing up! I got tired of it and eventually told her she could spoil her own kids who are currently living under her roof.
As a man in his 30s, I often hear the question about having children, especially from my mother. I personally don't want kids, and it's been a challenge finding a partner who shares my perspective. It seems like most women do want to have children, which can feel like a significant obstacle
Looking at most familie: what legacy???
31 year old male with high functioning autism (Asperger's Syndrome) My own father put a guilt trip on me last weekend when I told him that my stance on not wanting children hasn't changed and won't change. He then said "Son I'm disappointed in your decision that I won't get to be a grandparent!" - This came across to me like I'm obligated to owe him a child with my future girlfriend/wife :/ I'm sorry but should I be angry with him that he's attempting to guilt trip me into something I know I don't want.
Watching the progression of my adulthood into married life with children, the perspective antinatalism offers is 100%. And I cringe at memories I have of my mother starting arguments with my brother and SIL who weren’t physiologically able to have kids yet she could care less about the guilt tripping by asking them to “do more” for the sake of them feeling complete in life. Let’s bring more into the hell hole we’re stuck in because we’re unsatisfied with this absurdity called life. At this point, I have 4 little ones that I’m doing all that I can to raise to be strong and well. But the older ones already 100% know I will NEVER ask for a grandchild and in fact warn them about the work, time and resources it takes to raise happy/healthy humans yet without any kind of guarantee in the end. Be real.
Excellent perceptive points well said.
As a 24 year old guy, I feel a little for my dad. I know he would love to be a grandfather. He technically is, but not biologically. My 27 year old brother on the otger plan is a diffeebt diffeebt story. My mom says he and his girlfriend are dead set on having kids, but we'll see. Plans and descions can change. So I guess I'm still not fully convinced hes gonna have kids.
Yeah, which of my exes do they think I should be paying child support to?
I stay child free reason is because I want to save up travel world see many different countries it’s expensive to do both it’s good to see new places so am saving up for that because children can be expensive and harder to travel
Not sure I agree with this. The excuse of the world not a proper place for raising kids is not true. The world has always been a dangerous place. We grew up in during the Cold War. I served in the military due to the draft during the Vietnam. My wife was a stay at home mom. I worked hard to provide for our daughters. As far as financial resources, our daughters inherit all of our assets. I don't believe it is too much to want and ask for grandchildren. On a more practical basis, where is the future tax base to provide services?
Taking care of a kid sufficiently doesn't cost 35k a month.. you said your bills are but a kid is costly? It's ok be selfish and to not want kids but don't make it sound hard or costly when it's not..lil girls nowadays listen to and watch shit like this
3 to 5 k not 35k. Factoring in rent/mortgage, bills, groceries, home/renters insurance, car payments, car insurance, etc. With children you have to anticipate a higher cost in groceries, higher consumption of gas for driving children to school and activities, more than likely most people also need a bigger home and car, more visits to doctors, clothing and necessities they will need, costs of daycare (which is the cost of a whole paycheck where I am), as well as helping them for college.
Kids are expensive. Little girls need to know the truth to make a decision.
I am german and I don't get why you US folks have to pay for college. It's like your government is hypercapitalistic AND doesn't want well educated experts.
Having kids in Germany isn't as expensive as in the US because we are a developed country, we have 3 years paid maternity leave and public healthcare and employees have a lot of rights and so on. But women choose not to be mothers. It's not all about money.
Your body is ruined after pregnancy, the romance in the relationship is gone, you are very likely to loose your carreer.
I don't have to worry about money, but I don't want to do all the motherhood work.
@@diaryofthechildfree 3 to 5k that's my bills too and I do have kids.. it's not what ya make it out to be