How to Find Your Voice - And Own It
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- čas přidán 14. 02. 2018
- So, you want to create content? You'll need to find your voice and own it. Or else you'll risk being ignored.
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Back when I started creating content, I had an identity crisis.
When you met me in “real life,” I’d be a loud, quirky, arrogant, and sometimes even border-line obnoxious, and larger than life personality.
I’d say funny things like, “it’s not FREE today?” to random clerks. I’d walk into a restaurant and bellow, “What’s up!” to the hostess.
And apparently I’m so quirky that the other week when I had a Social Triggers team meeting in NYC, my assistant ordered my usual cappuccino , sparkling water, and a cup of ice at my favorite coffee shop, and the clerk said, “Wait, is this for Derek?”
(This coffee shop gets bombarded with probably 1,000+ customers a day. But they remember my order, heh).
But back when I started creating content, I showed NONE of this. I smashed my personality into a little box and threw that box out the window. I was scared that people would judge me because apparently being judged online was scary to me.
I told myself, “Well, I can’t show the real me. It would turn people off, and I don’t want to do that. I’m looking to help everyone!”
Sound familiar?
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“No one wants me, they want 3x me.” That’s so true. I discussed it before that the camera tends to flatten energy. What feels over the top when you do it can look bland on the screen.
Find your voice.
Own it.
Amplify it.
I shot an audition recently that I thought was unique, had a different approach, was well thought out and it was the first in a while that didn’t even get me a phone call back. While I accept you need to do a number of pitches to get a response I felt this one was spot on. But looking back it at I was focusing on the content, not the delivery. That doesn’t work.
Our last presidential election was a battle of content vs delivery and look who won.
MLK didn’t call his speech “I have a plan” it was “I have a dream!” Engagement is driven by the personality that is delivering the message, not just the message.
On point as always. I'm currently recording the first videos for my business... I've done so many retakes... less energy, more energy, more smiles, less smiles, move hands, don't move so much. JEEEEEEEEZZZZ being yourself is bloody hard!! I thought I was getting close, then my girlfriend saw the video and told me it was nothing like who I really am. Back to square one!
Rich Emmerson try talking to your girlfriend? With a camera on you? I'm struggling with the same thing Rich.
Rich, Michaela, it's even tougher when it's not your native language! lol Seems a problem of adults, our kids are sky rockets when about expressing in front of the camera.
Great topic! Thanks, Derek. My example: I kept seeing and hearing the word "fierce" as a desirable trait for powerful women. This had been bugging me for a while. I think powerful women don't have to be fierce/in-your-face/aggressive. No need for it and it's a burnout. It's frightened women who act fierce -- not powerful women. When I finally said screw it, I'm gonna take a chance and talk about this, I got 4 times as much interaction as any other recent content I've put out there. Proves your point exactly!
I struggle see how people can see you as obnoxious if they actually watch a full piece of your content. Sure, you can be loud and you don't hold back on your opinion (how dull would that be if you did?), but you're always grounded in research and a passion to succeed and help others succeed.
Finding and KEEPING your voice is so important! I love your NYC voice and attitude! I need more of it.
Hmm, this is an interesting thing. I’ve done a few webinars and have taught at a local college- that’s the majority of experience I have being in front of people. I tend to speak in a fun manner (I think), but it does take more effort to make the actual content fun. I can hear when I start to flatten out. I start to become bored with myself! I have actually said out loud, “Oh my gosh I’m boring myself with this!” That usually engages people.
I’m glad you have addressed this because I honestly do think ‘I don’t have the brash personality, or the kind manner, or the blue hair (obviously I’m referring to others I also follow). I need to give this some serious consideration. And multiply it by 3!
It's so funny your "obnoxiousness" is what I love about you the most. You're always an adventure to be around!!! And you're fully reliable to tell me (and everyone else) exactly how it is without BS. :) And my 3x me is a way photoshopped skinnier more pinup version of myself. HAHHA
Amazing advice I got chills. I love ya personality everyone else is so bland and FORGOTTEN! Lol
Pretty much me in my first 100 videos on YT - bland af. I had a profession (lawyer) that made it complicated to be candid about my lifestyle (travel, languages & pretty girls). It's been a process to open up more and more but am finally starting to do so and have been thinking a lot about this point over the last 2 weeks in fact ('finding my voice').
Another great video, Derek! :) Let's see if I can amplify x2 and x3 over the next few months ...
I can be a relatable, empathetic person who can really connect to solving a person's problems when I am in person. I tend to feed off/ or relate to that person's current state of emotions, and if I know how to solve the problem then I will. However, when I first started making videos and started watching them I was even bored of myself. What I thought was being "relatable" , and soft spoken looked disinterested and like one big snooze fest. I also tend to do really well with other people who are naturally funny, but I function like the side-kick. So like the straight man. If I know the person, I can lob an idea out, and the actual funny guy can run with it. Trying to manufacture humor on video in past attempts has flopped.
I'm definitely bland. As a piano technician teaching others to tune pianos, I have raised the ire of other piano technicians. I use science to demystify the process, a process that many technicians don't even know how to explain. As a result, I've been permanently banned from a site, allowed back on, only to be permanently banned again. The reason? The moderators were getting too many complaints. Members were bombarding the mods so much that they had to let me go. So, especially on social media I tread lightly. But what Derek said about lovers outnumbering haters is true. It's about 10 to 1 for me. So, thanks Derek for reminding me to let more of me show through.
When I started to write blog posts, the first thing that I had to realize was that I was fake and I was pretending. And I realized that this is what almost everyone was doing. I started to follow the few people who were not faking it, like Derek Halpern. And I started to be different by not forwarding the bullshit, but actually digging into my subjects deeper. This is how I found my voice. And people really appreciate it.
I gotta say that this one was hard for me to comment because it got so close to my heart it was almost personal. I have been having some really deep confidence problems because I was trying to have a voice in my 9-5 job that I tought it was what people expected of me instead of just being myself and I've had so much trouble that I almost got moved to another place after people complained about how closed I was (and not even to me... directly to my boss...). It got me thinking what I did wrong because I tought I was honestly making an effort to be open and useful to everyone and it backfired heavily. I am learning the hard way that your voice is your voice and that if you try to be what you think people expect you to be (which is probably wrong by the way) you will be phony and people WILL notice it. I have been journaling a lot about this (something I took from Ryan Holiday and his stoicism lessons) and have been working on restoring my true voice in life. I believe this is a lesson for business too: if you try to fake your voice, instead of attracting a lot of people and, of course, scaring some people away, you'll be seen as a phony and scare a lot of people away and maybe attract a small amount of people that will also leave when they perceive you as a fake. Sorry for the long one but this one made me feel like I need to vent it out.
I'm actually still getting used to your manner and way of speaking. But I enjoy the content and find it valuable. So it is worth it.
yup! agree lol
Yeah. Ramit says that the world wants you to be vanilla. And I feel this all the time. Even my girlfriend says I'm too loud and aggressive, but I just tell her that thank the world she's not my customer. Yeah, you do have to listen to feedback, but you also gotta be aware of what you're not going to compromise.
They want 3x me. That's good! Content creators have to exaggerate the 1 or 2 connectable quirks about ourselves🌺
Thank you!
Love your personality dude
I keep creating every day and know it will evolve as I continue to take action. Thanks again for the great content Derek
Enjoy the day
I did Sally Hogshead's test, and I'm not sure how to amplify my personality, considering the result is that I am a quiet person...
Yes you are very loud, and I generally don't like loud persons but I don't dislike you.. Good videos!
i love this video!!!
Isn’t it funny how we hide exactly the thing that people want. You’re personality. :)
Goddamn it Derek, why do you keep publishing videos that are insanely pertinent to current endeavors? I've recently started putting together more content, publishing and then deleting it because it's too "Me". Meaning that there's too much profanity, irreverence, tongue in cheek humor, and general assholishness even though that's completely congruent with who I am and how I like to respond to life (it's too short not to enjoy it right?).
Anyways, great video as always.
So, how do you amplify a sarcastic SOB who wants to help people? Lol.. that is my conundrum... - ok, maybe not THAT bad - how about a dry sarcastic sense of humor?
Good stuff Derek!
Dennis Bosse I'm in. What do you have to say?
I'm really funny with children. When I'm teaching children yoga, and their parents are in the room, the parents laugh really hard at how I interact with the children which is sometimes tongue in cheek. On video, I'm way too preachy.
i don't care who you are, what you look like, at least you offer me tons of great videos and ideas! that's why i subscribe you the first video i saw you! thank you! just be yourself!
You see this with politicians. They try to pretend they’re everything to everyone. They end up be being a loser that nobody believes. Awesome stuff!
Fake or not obnoxious or not; makes no difference to me. What makes difference to me is whether I'm going to learn anything from the person in the video. That's all, folks!
Man I'm muting myself right now! I need to just make the content as it appears in my head.
Holy Crap Derek! I needed this. I’ve been dipping my toe in letting the real me out, and it scares the crap out of me, but I know it’s going to help me in the long run. Thanks so much for this message!
Derek I would love to send you an email with a question or two. I found your CZcams channel yesterday and have been watching it like netflix. Please let me know if I could take up a minute of your time. Aloha, Cody C
😶
The way you speak in these videos are not genuine. This is not your voice. You do not talk like this in real life and yet you speak this way in all of your videos. I had added dozens of your videos to my "watch later" bin only to delete them after I couldn't stand the way you spoke after a certain length of time.