An Honest Chat with The Financial Diet
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- čas přidán 12. 07. 2021
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An Honest Chat with The Financial Diet
Finding common ground in big financial decisions and societal pressures.
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As a bride who did everything DIY my biggest advice is plan way further ahead than you think is necessary. My friends thought I was crazy that I ironed my napkins 4 months in advance in a cute design. But you do not want to do that the week or the day of the wedding. Those things take so much time.
That’s so funny but so true! Might as well do everything early that you can 🤷🏼♀️
I love this... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this. Too many times in the CZcams space, when one person reacts in a critical way to another creator's video, they don't do this. Instead, they make back and fourth, passive-aggressive videos. Getting defensive, maybe even making personal attacks out of anger and being offended. Neither of you did this.
But you two chose the higher road and said to yourself, "how about instead of being passive aggressive, we talk things out in a constructive conversation between two grown adults?"
I love this. There needs to be more of this...
CZcams creators far and wide - take notes. When you have a disagreement with a fellow CZcamsr, how about having a mature and constructive conversation instead of creating content for drama channels? Do this. Do this thing. Be better than the drama.
How about be passive aggressive in person? At least the other person has a chance to react and defend.
So like I love they met up!!!!
@@rieschelleannjavier-basina7371 passive aggressiveness is stupid, immature, and counter-productive. Having a respectful, honest and open discussion of issues is far more effective.
@@valerielinares2068 respectful honest conversation. Yes. I like that. So I hope they meet up already. They all are reasonable people so that makes my hopes go up that the 3 of them could Collab.
@@rieschelleannjavier-basina7371 the three of who? Who is the third person you're referring to?
I agree. I think Chelsea had certain misperceptions that the wedding industry was out to fleece everyone out of their money, but I think they’re more on the same page of not letting societal pressures dictate how much money gets spent on one day.
a crossover i didnt ever expect but am delighted to see
Chelsea Jaimie and Graham. Let's go!
@@rieschelleannjavier-basina7371 YES
@@rieschelleannjavier-basina7371 io
Same!
I’m so happy this collaboration was made! I think you both are great creators and I’m so happy you were able to talk so kindly to each other.
In a very public space where CZcamsrs often ignore or fight each other in the face of disagreement, this collab is so refreshing. Amazing work.
😱 Chelsea and Graham
🤯🤯🤯 Jaimie and Chelsea
Been watching them a lot even though I'm already married
I watch both TFD and Jamie’s channel, and the initial set of videos made me really uncomfortable because I’m very conflict avoidant and I like both channels. So logging onto CZcams and seeing these videos surprised and delighted me!
I've watched all four videos now and I have to give a praise to both Jamie and Chelsea-you both have your own opinions on the wedding industry and yet you were both able to come together and have two respectful conversations about the subject matter. Thank you for showing your audiences that you can have have a different view than others and still have a respectful conversation about ideas (and not tear people apart) AND raise other women up.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
The uneven amount of work put in between the groom and bride is maddening. I have been caught in that trap multiple times while planning my own wedding. Some of it is due to me not being good at delegating, and some is because I hate how my partner procrastinates until the last minute (meaning that the stress of the task does not leave me as I have to remind him about it), and the last is because it is things that I have the skills and training on while he doesn't. I have been working on voicing my need for help more and we have sat down and talked about how when I ask for something to be done it needs to be done in a timely manner so I don't get stressed out. It has helped us find the flaws in our relationship dynamic and work on them before getting married.
Oh I feel you!!!
My husband is the crafter of the two of us and he waited until a WEEK before the wedding to do a lot of the decorations!
We talked about it a lot in pre wedding counciling as well.
He did really shine day of the wedding though. He was at the venue setting up all morning while I got to be with my bridemaids and family. He was also a dream when we were taking everything down the next day (in the pouring rain!!).
That sounds stressful but good that it has helped identify things you can work on! My partner would prefer eloping, as he has some social anxiety, dislikes being the center of attention and also just easily gets stressed about organizing events. However, he is willing to have a wedding because he knows I really want to. We are planning to have a small, inexpensive wedding, but I still feel unsettled that all the planning will fall on me. It doesn't really feel fair to put extra pressure on him, but I feel like the planning would be less stressful and more fun if we could approach it as a team...
@@7ScarletRoses If it helps, my partner will likely not care about the decorations/color scheme/etc as much as I will, but food has already been a topic we talked about around our (eventual) wedding. So maybe it's something as simple (assuming one has a love for food) as "hey let's go buy a treat from this bakery to see if we like it" or "checking out this place we might cater" or even "do you think this type of food is something we could eat in formal wear" (it has been pointed out to me that fried chicken with bones is not an ideal thing for me to eat in a white dress already lol) could help relieve decisions. Like my partner doesn't care about color coordination/balance, but he has already said he really wants the color red to be involved somehow after a random discussion of favorite colors. For me at least, decisions are easier if it's between A or B vs looking at a whole menu and choosing from a couple dozen. Sometimes it's taking the decision out of the context of "wedding" (we desire a winter wedding because we've both talked about how we like the cold, gaming themed cocktails/open bar because we enjoy fun references, short/no speeches because we dislike them in general anyways), and it makes it easier for you making the Official Wedding Decision of Expenses with those guidelines.
@@haenahkim that sounds like a good idea, thank you :)!
Yes, same! I keep trying to get him more involved and it just turns into me nagging him to complete the specific tasks I delegate to him. I told him it would be great if he could take the reigns on making a planning appointment with a vendor for next month. Three days later it still hasn't been completed, and those days were his days off from work, so he had time. I HATE nagging but if I wasn't on his ass nothing I delegated to him would get done. Also I get a little resentful when he does something and everyone showers him with praise but I don't get any acknowledgment for the work I've done. It's just expected of me to do most of the work planning a wedding and I don't get any acknowledgment for the work I've done.
I'm in the midst of planning my wedding right now and I'm going through all your videos, but this one is one of my faves so far. Something I'd STRONGLY add to the point about considering the financial burden you're offloading onto your guests is their TIME cost, especially when it comes to destination weddings or travelling for a wedding. Most people, at least here in North America, have a very limited amount of vacation time. Even if they can financially afford to spend a week travelling to your destination resort wedding, asking them to sacrifice a week of vacation time, when they may only have a week or two for the whole year, is a huge burden.
Been watching both channels for years and now watching them come together is such a treat! Such dignified, respectable, women coming together to have an open conversation instead of going back and forth creating drama for clicks.
I think this can be a comment on society and marriage as well as finances and how the three intertwine...we often don't think things are appropriate to talk about or save for before it is too late. An example, we are often told that it is inappropriate to talk about big things in life when first dating someone (marriage, kids, etc.) but if you and that other person don't agree or see eye-to-eye on that, better to find out early than later when you've invested so much time and money in a relationship that may not be willing to compromise. At a certain point in life if you know you want to get married and you know you don't want to take money from others for your wedding, you need to buckle down. If anyone says that's not necessary or crazy or inappropriate, don't invite that person to your dope wedding.
Personally I would always suggest choosing the honeymoon over a wedding. It's generally cheaper and it's always great to go on vacation. (Before anyone asks I eloped.)
We eloped and had a honeymoon in Europe. 10+ years later and no regrets.
Jamie showed up looking gorgeous with a kind and open heart, per usual❤️
I can’t even imagine what the two of you reacting to shows like Marriage or Mortgage would be like 😂
That would be such an interesting premise!
I’d love to see that. Me and my partner love/love to hate that show because while we want to get married we’re desperate for a house and automatically team mortgage (especially because we aspire for a wedding under 10K and the mind boggles at some prices of various wedding elements that the show’s participants want.)
Loveeeee this video. Slightly embarrassed to say that I’ve had the mentality of “I’m saving for the wedding I want” since I was in high school 😬. 26 now and thankfully have a good chunk of money!
Claire that is so cute! I hope you have a wonderful day when it happens! 💕
@@novalinnhe thank you! ☺️
So smart 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@audreyhuggins874 hopefully soon!
I'm getting married technically today (just past midnight), and my future husband barely got a suit this past week, and still doesn't have a tie. Same for his groomsmen. My Maid of Honor didn't get her dress she ordered, and we had to haphazardly put together something to try to make it look okay. I've already broken down, 'cause it's way too late to be awake, and I'm just hoping things don't end in disaster... I feel like I haven't done enough, even though I have been planning alone since the beginning. I'm not good at asking people to do anything for me as I was told I want too much, too often. My phone is at 8% because I don't have a charger, and I was using it like crazy the whole day. I don't know what's going to happen for half my day. I thought I had it under control, but the day is here and the last day doesn't feel over yet. I need a shower, my nails are ragged, and I hate my haircut. So many things are going wrong. Everything won't be magically fixed when I wake up, but I'll still be in love, and I'll still be excited, and surprised at every good thing. At every person who shows up. Despite all the previous ranting of all my stresses, my wedding day will be my favorite day for a long time to come!
Thank you to whoever reads through this whole mess of a comment! I didn't even watch the video... I probably should have put this on the Facebook community posts, but my brain is fried!
I wish you an amazing wedding day, may it be everything you have hoped for! Hopefully you have gotten some hours of good sleep and may you wake up refreshed and excited. I am sure you and your bridal party will look lovely! I bet all the hard work you put into the event will pay off! Just remember to take it all in - it will pass so fast...
All the best from Vienna, Austria, you are in my thoughts
-Lisa
@@anamazing2297 I really hope your day came together and was beautiful 🥺
@@nataliedavenport4557 It did! There were a few hiccups, but things worked out, and we eventually got to relax at a cute little inn for our minimoon. I do wish I had communicated more with people who were helping, or bought tie sets earlier on, that I thought to learn how to press flowers beforehand, or that any number of things could have been better, etc., but there's no going back to smack any sense into myself now! It had all I needed and more, and that's all I care about! 😊👍
Love the two of you and been following you both for a while. I’m so glad you both came together to learn from each other rather then be upset this is what truly collaborating and choosing to rise above together and gives me hope. I learn saving tips from the two of you and would be cool to see that maybe you combine forces to have a segment once in a while about smart cool ways to be financially smart and savvy for a wedding budget. Just an idea! 😉
I came to your channel from TFD. I love it!
I've noticed the opposite at the weddings and Quinceanera's I've been to, the cake is barely touched but the desert bar is typically cleared out in the first half of the reception.
Also it depends on what culture background your coming from! If there is left overs food and cake etc its definitely going with family and friends and not to be waisted, so make sure you just purchase to go boxes from Costco!
It's actually funny because you have a lot of shared fans and followers.... Like a lot lol. Great to see you both here lovelies!! 💖💕
It's really nice to see CZcamsrs have real talks about a misunderstanding/disagreement instead of just creating more drama.
LOVED THIS! And I'm so glad TFD addressed about how to inform would-be "donators" (before giving it) that their donation is greatly appreciated, BUT it affects NOTHING except the gratitude you have in your hearts.
And I love the "planning ahead regardless" idea. The "Sink fund".
Who'd of thunk???
Just an awesome video overall. (& one, as mentioned, that can easily translate to other costly items in life.)
There is so much to be learned from how you managed this situation, both in spaces like CZcams and in life in general.
Also, I didn't realize how useful this video would be to me personally. It answered a lot of questions I've been having.
Congratulations on your collaboration!! We need more of this!!
I make wedding cakes and I had a bride that said they didn’t even end up cutting the cake the day of 🤦♀️ fake cake and cupcakes are the way to go
Do you charge way less for a fake cake? I've always heard they are close to the same price since most of the cost is in the decorations and time, not the sugar/flour, etc to make it edible,
@@26Bluegb less by $2 a serving but these prices will vary with every baker. The actual foam isn’t too cheap either but it’s just the time of baking and filling that I’m taking off
I'm here after seeing the TFD side. I appreciate this sort of discussion. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years and neither of us have any desire to get married/do a wedding. After the '$100/person' commentary, I really have no desire to. I wouldn't even spend that on myself, much less any one else. I have no desire to plan a wedding. I have no desire to be in a wedding. I genuinely don't get the appeal or why it's so important to people. But I appreciate the topic and love how happy it makes the people I care about to get married and have a wedding.
I giggled and screamed when I saw the two of you together
I felt lucky that u didn't go crazy on Pinterist with my wedding because it is easy to do. However, I tried to stick to specific items I knew I was getting and use Pinterist as an inspiration board to communicate what I wanted to vendors. Especially my flourist. I was able to get very specific with them about the bequests and flower crown, and with my stylists on my vision for hair and such. It was really helpful to help the get on the same get with me and my wedding turned out absolutely gorgeous. It was everything I envisioned and I was so grateful to your content for helping me through that journey, giving my permission to set boundaries and priorities, and enjoy it all. I was so happy with all my choices and my vendors were all wonderful!
Ive been following you both for years and I'm just really happy to see this collab happening on both your channels
I'm a fan of both of you, and I felt there were limits and flaws to both of your original videos, things in your discourses that needed to be nuanced and so it makes me so SO happy to see you both have a more in depth personal conversation about this! Thank you both for educating me so much and for being good role models for an open mature conversations ❤
I got engaged just in time for this video. Lol 😂
All the respect that this is happening no matter the outcome
I’m so happy to see this collaboration!
I watch both of you, and I’m so happy that you have connected and shared your own thoughts TOGETHER instead of against each other. Thank you for being an example of productive conversation! ❤️
The love between people should be celebrated
Yay!! So glad this happened!
Kudos to you both this was definitely needed! Love this!!
I'm so happy about this. This is wonderful
I love this so much! Love you both and found this an excellent and informative video
This was awesome truely, thanks!
HOW DID I MISS THIS?! Thank you lovely human for doing this for us! 🙌🏻😍
Yay I’m glad you two made a video together 😁😁😁
I'm engaged and a fan of both channels! Thanks for this collab!
Love this! so wholesome!
I love you Chelsea! 💖🙌🏻 great combination for this video!
Ugh I love this collab
Thank you, absolutely a great talk. Many excellent points touched. Huge admirations for both of the ladies
I need more of this! I hope you guys collaborate again. Two very inspirational and beautiful women. Thank you for being such wonderful role models. ❤
I love that you guys had this conversation! It’s so nice to see people dealing with conflict in such a healthy way 😊
Love this
Love this! As a TFD fan, glad to see Chelsea get a chance to explain (and called out a bit) and for there not to be reaction video on reaction video
Love this!!
Didn't see this coming but applaud you both for it,nicely done having a real adult conversation 👏
Very informative collaboration! This made me think about a lot of things. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment but it’s good to have a plan for when that day comes.
Would love timestamps on longer videos like this :)
Watched both your guys videos and wow wow wow I’m so glad you guys had this conversation. Big respects for the grace involved in all of this to make this happen, kudos to you both for the valuable insights you provided us. It definitely opened up my eyes on BOTH sides
I’m blessed that my FH is very involved in our wedding planning and budget.
i love you both sooo much!
I love your guys as response and respect you both. Oath. The one channel I can't watch that often because she just goes so worthy and goes on and on and on but I do like her channel. I love you And all your wedding help.Wish the master plan was there for me more when I got married last year.
Came over from the financial diet! Love this real talk. I've never wanted a wedding and I talked with my s.o. and we both feel the same. We would rather go on a trip abroad together ❤ I've heard many people regret the things they were pressured into regarding their wedding, and we've recieved some of that pressure too. Its sucks to recieve it, but I'm trying not to let it change our mind. It's not an expense I want to make just to make them happy.
Bravo 👏🏽for Jamie and Chelsea collaboration videos! I watched all the 4 videos and each one of you have their own opinions but also have common grounds. 🥰 I would love to see a behind the scenes video 😉 (as your intros and questions asked are different on your respective channel). CONGRATS to both of you🎉🥂Sending Love from South Africa💌
This is a great collab!
My fiance and I have been together 11 years (as of tomorrow) and we have a 3 year engagement specifically to give us time to save up for a mid-size wedding. It's good to note that if you're planning in advance, vendor costs can increase pretty substantially every year - we had an image in our head and budgeted accordingly, but the costs have risen so much (especially with covid) that we now are having to make adjustments to keep up with our goals.
We also knew we would be gifted money with strings attached, and we made it clear from the get go that we would accept cash contributions only if the gifter acknowledged that it would not impact our planning. It was a long process to get them to accept that, but we did say we would be grateful if we received a gift but do not feel entitled to it or expect it.
For example, we budged for 80 people, but could only afford 70 with the raising costs. The gifter wanted us to add guests. We had to say we would have to research what other venues (since we're close to capacity) and vendor costs would arise from that change while still keeping our vision, and requested all those associated costs to be covered. In the end it wasn't worthwhile to the gifter.
Love this video! It seems like you agree on most things 😂
Late to the party here - but since my fiancé is in med school so I’ll be doing most of the planning. We are doing something simple but there’s still a lot research and planning that goes into the wedding planning process. I think it comes down to understanding each other’s workload and setting boundaries from the start.
hearing you guys talk about the waste cake gets, glad I kept mine small (75 servings for 65 person wedding) and 3 different flavors
This was a fun watch as I have followed you both for a while and when I saw the original reaction I was a little bummed, because I like you both. Happy to this collab : )
Do you watch Graham Stephan too? Chelsea's Collab with Graham was very uncomfortable at first but he got invited again! So there's something there. Mutual respect? I love it.
Great video! I watched this one and the one on TFD. Both you and Chelsea were awesome and extremely receptive to an open and frank conversation. Great comments and tips on both sides. Commendations to both of you! I have to say it though...HUGE difference in the viewer comments on Jamie's video and Chelsea's video. Lots of grace, acceptance, and openness on Jamie's. Lots of judgement, closed-mindedness, and bitterness on Chelsea's video. YIKES. 😬
That's not true.
What a constructive video. Was I living in the US + not yet married, this video would make me wanna choose you as my wedding crew instantly. 👍🙏
Do as one(1) large deposit CD(like maybe 18 months) and then when you get closer change it over to a Money Market Account. NEVER withdraw before maturity- hence don't do a long term CD. A higher deposit (what you deposit) will often bump you into a higher interest rate or it may be tiered where anything over a certain amount earns more. Plus just basic math due to compounding. Get that higher interest rate baby!
Also-sometimes a bank will offer a higher rate for customer loyalty, so blanket advice to open somewhere else is not sound. Shop around. Most CDs you have to wait until maturity to add to, but I've seen exceptions and always look at compounding frequency,
My husband and I spent about $30k on everything for our wedding (dress, venues,rings) we honestly didn’t think it would prices rack up. Luckily we were renovating our first home so we weren’t tempted to spend money on useless wedding stuff. I also know someone who’s spent 30k on a just a reception venue lol…
Sounds like venues in the US are so expensive, in norway a lot of venues are under $1000, although food an alcohol is obviously expensive
Oh my goooood
loved this video. Finaces are such a big thing I worry about cuz I want it to be mostly half and half. My dad gave advice of "Keep things simple. Live simpliclity. Don't live with things over your head. Buy when you have the money and pay items off asap." He and I grew up with very different money knowledge/ learning. For the wedding, we are getting a part-time job to go straight into the wedding only. Try to start marriage off with no debt. :)
Greetings from Costa Rica central América
We are waiting to get married 12 years into our relationship with a 4 year engagement. We made sure that financially we would be okay for housing and bills. Months to a year of security. This was our priority. The house was also a fiscal priority. As well as ensuring family financial planning. A wedding will not jeopardize our financial security and successes.
Hi Jamie, can you do a video on destination weddings?
💕 this
I feel like prenuptial agreements are like advance directives. People don’t want to think about it because they don’t marry intending to divorce. However, divorce is a possibility. For me personally my husband and I did not have enough assets to really do a prenup, but if we acquire assets, I will certainly consider a post-nuptial agreement.
I think it is (lack of a better term) rich for Chelsea to say don’t use a credit card if you can’t pay it off at the end of the month. I have always done this to build up points and raise my credit score but it isn’t feasible for most people. Especially if you are using the credit card to cover a bigger cost that if you simple had the money for you’d probably not be using the credit card in the first place. An example of this could be a wedding dress. Even if a person finds a great find/sale and spends $500 on a dress they may not be able to afford it in the moment.They may only have $100 extra to put towards the dress when they are looking at their overall finances. If they were to wait until they saved the $500, the dress may no longer be available. So it makes sense to put the cost of the dress on the credit card, put $100 each month towards the balance and then spend a bit on interest.
Ok on the guest list question.... how do you handle that when there are large groups of cousins/aunts/uncles etc who if you invite one you need to invite most if not all.
At least I found Jamie out of this
I wish that people would talk about the fact that time spent planning and doing = time money opportunity cost for women. For a lot of women, it is a critical time to focus on career goals, and depending on the career, there may be a direct billable hours impact to fussing over planning. In other words, going with a planner/ full service venue and saving the headache is a smart trade off if you’re billing 50-60 hours a week rather than doing 40 and carrying this huge weight and stress.
As a public accountant with billable goals - AGREED!! I am notoriously frugal, but I pay for a house cleaner during busy season because the stress of cleaning with very little free time available is too much and at that point, it’s worth the money. And during non-busy season, I do it all myself :)
For myself, when the time comes, I’m definitely going to be factoring in my job when it comes to choosing to do something myself for my wedding, or finding another option that could save me that stress - for me, it would 100% be worth it!
I’ve had a few wedding take place during busy season and I’ve either had to somehow accommodate some work while traveling for that wedding, or I’ve really had to cram a ton of work in preemptively to essentially budget for the time I’ll be away for the wedding. It can be really stressful, and staring down the barrel of a thousand bridesmaids events knowing how stressful it may be with my job can very much influence my decision to be a bridesmaid.
I love Chelsea ❤️
I love how Jamie's thumbnail read's "Let's Talk" with both people equally represented while Chelsea's (on the same collab) reads "I got called out" with her on the foreground and only a small frame to represent Jamie. It represents their personalities well.
Well, i think if you follow TFD and not Jamie, you might not have known about Jamie's video. A thumbnail like this one wouldn't have made any sense because there would be no context. It might have looked like just another TFC episode. Jamie's followers are already going to be familiar with the initial reaction video
so much female empowerment in one video
Sooooo… this became a series 😂
What about wedding mark ups? Why vendors, some of them, mark up shamelessly for the exact same service??
I love Chelsea! Bottom line people should spend their money how they want. If people want to get in debt and live paycheck to paycheck, that’s cool. If people want to be frugal with their money that’s cool too. But a wedding is a luxury and it is definitely not a necessary expense. But do you Boo!
Ok
41:25
She looks so much like Pam from the office
This is a Chelsea Fagan stan account
Her comment at 2:11 kills me, because I stopped watching TFD because this IS her attitude in a lot of videos when giving examples about what not to spend your money on. She gives good overall financial advice, yes, but I felt so insulted and belittled for wanting to eventually spend my money on things that were important to me because of her judgmental attitude.
The amount of ads on this video is ridiculous smh
This was a great conversation, by the way. The interruptions were just distracting.
Is it me or did she tone down her makeup for Chelsea's benefit?
Who gives or loans money to someone, least of all for a wedding, and then attempts to tell them what they can and can’t do with it? Oh yeah, losers. Just be cool about money. You have it you give it, you need it you take it.
Damn that back peddling tho 😭🤣
Right?!
Don't do a destination wedding, no one likes that!
We are not here for Chelsea only Jamie...
Then clicking on a video that's a collaboration with Chelsea in the thumbnail titled "An Honest Chat with The Financial Diet [Chelsea]" wasn't a great idea, lol.
@@michaelaegge8808 only here for Jamie sweetie
I unsubscribed from TFD long ago. Can’t stand the host’s condescension. There’s no “do what’s best for your finances” there. Just a lot of strong opinions, judgment and general hatred of... well, everything.
I laughed at the ‘no judgement’ bit in her intro. Total lie.
Jamie was great. Chelsea… eh. I don’t buy her backpedaling.
Nope….. still not a fan of her 🤷🏼♀️ sorry not sorry