My dad got so angry at me when I dated a couple of guys with kids. He sat me down and he said stop doing that. He said I want you to come number one in a man's life. And you can't do that if he's got a kid. And if he does put you number one that means he's a bad father. And ain't nobody got time for either of that
He doesn't want you to be somebody's rebound, and all of a sudden you're pregnant with his child, when the guy is just spreading his seed everywhere. Bless your father. He loves you.
lol I wish my dad had said something similar, except for we need to stop this nonsense saying if parents don't "put their kids first" instead putting relationships first, that that automatically means the kids suffer or the parent is a bad parent. cuz that's bs. the kids grow up and move out/on live their lives, then you're left hopefully with each other in a relationship, and if my parents had put themselves over us the kids, they might still be together today and might not have had to split when my bro and I came of age...
@@sarahscalpel561 Idk kids should come first for most things in a normal relationship. Unless idk the kid crazy or something. Otherwise you’re a shit parent.
facts and the sad part is, they wont leave CF people alone. They will approach us like they don't have kids, or get offended when we reject the, Go be with other single parents. I've even heard some single mothers say they don't want a man with kids bc they don't want to deal with the baggage that comes with them.
Single parents only want to date childfree folks according to them they want childfree folks because it has less drama. I was like WTF, are they assuming their life will be back to normal when they are childfree??! That's a life of parenthood and they need to accept it! They are just selling their paternal privilege or maternal privilege towards childfree folks.
I wouldn't have dated anyone with kids when I was younger. I didn't want to be a step but also, I didn't want to have kids with a man that was already a father. I refuse to have kids with more than one man and I don't want a man that would have more than one baby mamma. I was married for a long time and we had two kids. I'm very careful with those I allow around my kids, especially since both are special needs. Now that I'm older with kids, I'm still careful about dating fathers. I'm still not interested in men that think nothing of having kids with more than one woman and also with men that aren't careful regarding ppl they allow around their kids I have a friend that has had three marriages, three kids with two of those ex wives and now whines that quality women don't want him. Ppl that know their worth don't want all that extra grief. If you have nothing but stress to offer someone, you have no business trying to get with anyone. Fix your life, then put yourself out there.
So true. They don't want to do extra work to raise someone else's kids, yet expect his kid to be well looked after by child free woman. Double standard
Even then, it can be a huge headache! My last dude's accident is 40 years old and the motherf@$er STILL yakking n texting with baby mama. Gave me the 'but shes the the mother if my kid' bulls$!t. Bye, dude!!
I would like to add other reasons why I refuse to date men with children: 1) Depends on the law but when you marry a man who owes child support, you will be financially liable. I refuse to pay for someone else's children. 2) Some men maintain a "friends with benefits" relationship with their exes despite "breaking up." They use the kid as an excuse. Before you know it the ex is pregnant again and he wants to make it work for the children's sake. 2) Some men date solely to get free childcare. Once you get together he'll dump his children on you.
And you don't get to decide how these kids are raised. People with kids very often want their parents or partners to take care of their children, but only on their terms. No one is allowed to discipline them or tell them what they think.
Single parents should date each other. Someone should make a dating app. Specifically for single parents. Also, there should be an app for child free people too.
I agree. I saw a commercial for app for single parents but nothing for CF. I think if a CF app was created, single parents would lie about not having kids to get on there
@MelaniaRose Been there. He waited until i told him i love him. Before that he just didn't mentioned it but then he lied on top of it. When he came out with the truth, i told him, that this wasn't the way i pictured our relationship to be like. He then gaslighted me, saying: You told me before that you love me and all of a sudden your feelings changed, just because i told you, i have a daughter ?
I'm a dude and I agree with you Elle 100%. I'm 26 and childfree. Got a vasectomy when I was 24. You're going to get snatched up by a childfree guy I can already tell. Dating single parents come with alot of unnecessary drama.
On behalf of all the women out here, thank you for taking birth control as a responsibility upon yourself and getting the vasectomy. It would be great if you could spread the word to other men to just get the snip done because it's reversible, and it saves everybody a lot of time and a lot of drama. I commend you!
@@involuntarilycelebrate Yeah I knew I didn't want kids since I was a teenager. I didn't really date or anything until I got my vasectomy. And I tried to tell dudes in real life about being child free and consider getting a vasectomy and they look at me like I'm an alien. So, I left it alone. They expect women to take care of all the birth control responsibility. As well as all of the childrearing. I hope I can find a single childfree woman in real life.
There are a ton of guys out there with 3-4 kids that want you to always be available for them, but yet remind you all the time that their kids are their priority. Ladies, please don’t settle for being last on someone’s priority list!
Absolutely! I have also seen men in the past that will use their girlfriends as babysitters. Every time they wanna hang out with a woman they always end up, leaving to run some errands and they want them to watch their children for them.
@Mame Fatou Gordon At 22 I once dated one with kids. His kids came first. We barely got to know one another. I dump him his leas than 3 months. I was turned off by men with children. They will never put you first and if they do they are either dead beats or abandoned their kids.
There are exceptions though. I met a guy, back in the 80s. He told he "has a 9 year old son, from his ex girlfriend in another state". Then he told me " the boy is my kid, but he was a mistake, because she hated taking the pill. She got pregnant to try & save our relationship, it was too late. She knew "I never wanted kids". " She kept the boy, but didn't want me in her life or to contribute financially". I said " it takes two to tango, why didn't you take precautions too?" He said "she was on the pill, until she stopped". We didn't last longer than 3 months. I stayed on the pill & I made sure he used precautions, too ! I don't date anymore. There's very few single, middle age, childfree men left. So I'm happy being single & childfree now !
@@joejackson7601Are you american ? I feel like Baby Mama/Daddy culture is big over there. Here where i live, most women would not consider a single parent.
I gave a man with kids a chance once, and he said to me that I would always come second to them. And fair enough or whatever, but that's honestly not what I want for my life 🤷♀️
I would have walked away as soon as he said that. That’s disrespectful to tell a potential partner you’ll always come second. That shows that they don’t value you. No one should be coming first or second. There should be a balance. There shouldn’t be any competition between a partner and your children. It’s possible to be a loving partner and a good parent at the same time. Nowadays people spoil their children & give them power over their relationships. These people who want to make their kids the center of their world need to stay single and just be there for their kids.
@misscamara12 Sorry, but I disagree with you on one point. It is NOT possible to be a good parent while chasing love and relationships. The children will suffer. As a pediatric RN, I see firsthand the results of parents who put their love lives above the safety and well-being of their children. When people make the conscious choice to become parents, those children should be the priority and NUMBER ONE. They don't ask to be born. If people don't want that monumental responsibility, then they need to stay childfree. But thinking a single parent is supposed to prioritize you over their kids is ridiculous.
No no. Not always my BD didn't have kids before he met me. I thought he was a catch but he wasn't. Still lived with either his mom till his 40s or a gf, been together 4yrs and never had a car. In the beginning I was always picking him up so we could hang out. He left me to care for his daughter alone and I struggled but when I eventually got my own place and shit together..guess who wanted to move in? Tried it and it didn't go well as he had a shitty temper and attitude so I let it go. This is just a cautionary tale. Some men are single for a reason.
@@sixteen.candles.4644What has being single because of certain reason, have to do with the fact that chilsfree people are suited better for each other.
Dating a person with children as a CF person hardly ever works out well. That man not looking for love, he looking for help. Run! Sure, there’s exceptions but not factoring in what happens majority of the time is foolish. Playing that game will always leave you with a unsatisfactory prize. Preserve your peace and always say nope!
I can’t deal with coming second to anyone and I’m just gonna be honest and say that . I don’t like getting put off because he has to take care of the kids 🙄. I respect that he takes care of his kids but I don’t have time to be waiting around. It’s just unfair to me to have to put off something I’m really excited about because of kids that aren’t even mine .
Absolutely! I wouldnt even hire women with kids in my small business years ago. Didnt wanna hear the whining about my kid is sick, or I have to go the kid's school for some busshit, or my husband doesn't like me working weekends or evening. F@$k y'all! Hired single guys snd single women only.
I'll be damned if i help pay a mans child support, raise another womans kids or come 2nd to a child thats not mine. I'm in my 20s it dont make any kind of sense to skate uphill against rain and wind.
I married a man who didn't have children because I wanted us to raise them together as first time parents. Everything we have goes directly to our own kids 😊
I am 41 and I dated 2 women who had children. The 1st one was TERRIBLE. Her daughter was very respectful but the son was a headache. I had resentment in my heart towards him due to his disrespect. The last girl had 4 kids by him and it was drama with her and him. If you have kids ONLY date those with kids.
They won't date others with kids because they want child free men and women to gave the all the attention meanwhile they have kids and loaded with drama
Christian Correct. No marriage and no kids and there's many more of us out here than you probably realize. It just isn't popular and society in general loves to silence us.
I can add one more valid reason: If the guy is toxic, he will use the kids to try and keep you around, putting up with his s*. Then of course if you genuinely bonded with the kids, it hurts like hell when you have to walk away. I am speaking from personal experience. At age 24, I dated a guy with 4 kids. They weren't the problem, he was! So now I am right with you, would maybe only consider it if the kids were grown up or close to it.
@@ChildfreeLT Thank you! Yes, leaving those kids broke my heart but they would all be grown up now... and I believe there is a chance I wouldn't be here to write this had I stayed with that man.
💯💯💯 I will never do that unless the kids are grown and with that you got to be careful and make sure the adult kids are not BUMS!! Lol Thank you for subscribing 🙏🏾
My two kids are grown and I made the mistake of dating a man with several underaged kids. The main problems were 1) he had them by different women so that was variations of baby mama drama 2) when he picked all of them up he would bring them all to my house and for the most part they were disrespectful and they were used to him moving around from woman to woman. He taught them to be as manipulative is he is 3) his financial resources were split between all these kids 4) still had ties to two of the exes and 5) they were not disciplined and he would tell me "that's just how kids are" and toward the end I told them I've never seen kids like this. I know kids do things they're not supposed to do but that's where adults come into play. That's the whole point of parenting. That was the most chaotic 6-7 months of my entire life. Even my dog didn't know what to think. 🤣 Peace was restored in my life after that.
I dated a man who I thought had one daughter from a previous relationship. I am childfree. He was kind and responsible, so I gave him a chance. However, I hired an investigator just for peace of mind. Come to find out he had three other daughters by 3 different women. Never married to any of them. I ghosted 👻 him with the quickness. I will never entertain a single father ever again. I don't care how kind, good looking, wealthy, or fabulous he is. I just can't do kids.
@@Childfree334 that's a shame he hid the fact that he had three other kids! The ones who don't hide it are just as bad because they have a sob story for all of it to justify why they didn't marry any of the women, why they kept moving around making babies all over the place, and why it was the woman's fault that she got pregnant and that it didn't work out between them.
Men with kids always want to date the ladies without them. When really they should be trying to date the women who already have kids. It’s a better fit.
Currently, there’s a guy who has interests in me…he has THREE kids!!! THREE!!🙄 Well, I guess he’s gonna get his feelings hurt. I just can’t deal with kids. PERIOD! I don’t have patience for kids and I have anger issues. So no. #childfree4life
I would never have a serious relationship with a man with kids Just ok for a casual informal relationship. Now I am older, I would never date a man with kids or grandkids at all
I agree with you about the grandkids. Im not playing second fiddle to anyone....been there, done that....exes, kids, OR grandkids. I have no kids by choice and I will not have someone else's dumped into my life. Also, I hate kids.
In support of this! A mother once said her daughter's father is now dating an attorney and she is encouraging him to propose because right after they marry she will return to the court house seeking more child support. That mindset sits in a lot of parents. Dating a parent is a choice. Stay away from the fray.
After being with two men who have children, I agree that I am much happier now. I love all of their children, but it’s the baby mamas that got in the way
This and also #1 if you date a man with children you may someday marry him and then wind up living with kids at least part of the week. The only thing worse than having kids and having to live with them is having to live with someone else's kids!
It seems in this age we are growing personally. We do not want to be "mothered" and I don't want to "mother" anyone either. I am only adulting...not parenting or feeling needy. No kids!!
A lot of these men don't even have the time to date if they're working and taking care of the child (and the baby mother) on some level! Then you have to consider whether he's even marriage minded if he never married his baby mother...it's A lot!
Dated a single dad with a 10yr old. It was a horrible experience. Whatever u do for the kid, the kid doesn't appreciate it, sometimes even rejects u. U feel like u constanly have to "please the kid", to survive in the family. The love from the dad is conditional: only if u look after him n his kids, u will be loved back. Otherwise, he ll ge rid of u quickly. I lived a very low self-esteem life in the past 2 yrs. Will never make the same mistake
watching this...coz im 30, and im childfree, never wanted them, i met a guy. Literally perfect. But bastard hid the fact he has 2 kids and he spends all his free time with them. I left, because that shit aint for me, they say when u truly love smn u accept them fully, but sorry doesnt mean i accept fully other individuals that u have as your family.
Ladies just think , there's is a reason that he is divorced by his ex and has children with her...his ex just warned you just by letting him go ....no woman will let a good man go ..just think deeply and you will know the answer is already there
What if she left him, for another man? I had this recently. He's having a breakdwn now because she's stopped him seeing them, since I met him. He said hes "losing his mind". Ive been cast aside.
I agree. I am currently dating a guy with 2 kids + combative ex. He lives 2 hours away. He also has another older child who is 12 in Alberta who he rarely sees + mentions but still cares deeply for. She lives with the mom + stepdad. So much damn drama with the ex here tho in Ontario. She has dictated that he can only have them on weekends. I work during the week myself in customer service + be the time the work week is done Im drained AF. I only have weekends off myself. So he has the kids on the weekend 4 + 6 year old + when they are around they demand all his attention. He tells me to come out on the weekends so we can all be together + so we can spend time together. I honestly have no desire to deal with all of that on the weekend; the shouting, bickering etc so I arely see him. The last time I saw them was a month again when he came to pick me up from train station near where he lives, an hour away + the plans of them being dropped off beforehand to the mom were changed so he came + picked me up with them in the van. I barely could get a word in with him as the children kept shouting abruptly in the van, shrieking, bickering + kicking the back of my chair. I literally had the thought cross my mind for him to just drop me off at the side of the road so I could get some peace. At one point I turned my head to the side + had tears fall down my cheek as I felt so overwhelmed by the noise, like nails on a chalkboard. And I'm supposed to spend my days off with them for 2 days on the weekend so I can have 3 - 4 hours of alone time at the end of the day. I have so many disappointing stories I could share + I am at a point where I feel numb + just don't care. It's like where is there space for me, for us. I will never date a guy with children again. This was my first time + it has been nothing but stress + heartache. NEVER DATE A MAN/WOMAN WITH KIDS UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL NEGLECTED + PUT ON THE BACKBURNER unless they have good boundaries with their ex + their kids.
This relationship will be a waste of time. Now if he just had that one older child living long distance, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But two recent children under 10 around the corner is too much. The baby mama and kids will be in charge of his life for a long time. The first one moved on and is married. The kid is also almost grown but with this second baby mama, he needs to stay single for several years and just focus on his kids. Don’t spend your off days babysitting another woman’s kids. Time is precious don’t waste it. It’s better to be single and have your peace and freedom than to get yourself in this mess.
Honey I’ve learned my lesson TWICE. I know they say three times the charm, but NO. The last one I dated EXHAUSTED ME. He was always broke and angry. No thank you 😅 And it’s also UNFAIR to us who don’t have kids. I will never forget the little girl I fell in love with and now I can’t see her cause I don’t talk to her dad anymore 😢😢😢😢
This is one dating topic where both man and females totally agree. It’s crazy how both parties experience almost the exact same things when dating a single mother/father. Dating a single parent is a lose lose situation just for 1 fact. 1 her/his kid will always be number 1 priority and believe me it will get old quick or 2 if she/he does put you above the kid it means they’re a bad parent. Like I said it’s a lose lose situation. Just don’t do it! The only time when you can date a single parent is when the ex died and the kid is still a baby, but even in this case I don’t suggest it. Just never ever do it! Believe me it’s not worth it! No matter how great their personality is, how great the connection is because there are so many complications that it’s like trying to compete in a running sport while having 1 leg.
That's exactly why it's best to have more nuclear family homes instead blended family homes I said when I became an adult I do not want step kids and to be responsible for someone else's kids it's either I have a family of my own where everybody is related or either I will just be single with no children or be with someone who does not have nor want kids it's just easier that way.
Love this video. Your top 5 reasons can be applied to men as well. Let's Destigmatize Men not wanting to date Single moms. People with kids should date each other.
Absolutely!! I think single parents only need to date single parents. Being Childfree is a blessing and some of these parents are miserable and want a childfree person to pick up their slack
@@ChildfreeLT Can you do a video about the judgement that you encounter from Women that find out that you are a single black women with no kids? I've found that women are more judgmental of childfree women than men. I'm a 41 year old, successful black male with no kids and I support your message 100%. Glad to have found your channel.
I’m a soon to be 23 yr old child free guy that just got out of a relationship with a woman that has a child and I’m so happy I did..the relationship was good seemingly in every way you could imagine until after we had relationship problems and disagreements, she went behind my back after we said not to and I’m thinking we talked about our tough times and grew from it ..only to find out she was badmouthing me to like 2 of her friends and even said she would cheat..and I was actually doing right by her in the relationship but after that I felt betrayed and I couldn’t even look at her the same nor trust her anymore…now I’m single working on myself and just want a child free woman I can really be in a happy faithful, loyal and loving relationship with & build my own family with as well
@@ChildfreeLT I also do want kids of my own to I just want a child free woman to create our kingdom with as well no outside ex neither of us Would have to deal with hopefully that doesn’t sound messed up
@@divinity2966 You say that you actually do want kids of your own right? So Then your not actually childfree. Childfree means that you make an active decision to not have kids (biological, adopted etc) now or in the future. You can't be 'childfree until'. So I advise that you stop using the word childfree for yourself because that's not actually who you are and you can confuse childfree women who are looking for a man who is actually childfree (aka doesn't want children at all and has no problem with posdibly getting a vasectomy)
Even if there is no ex (in my case, his previous wife died), life is still difficult as hell with a kid involved. His family think the whole world owe the kid, because there is no mom, so, the expectation from u is high. U role is a free nanny who brings in income. An absolutely unfair deal. Child free women, stay away from single dads.
I think I am going to go this direction. For a long time I have been saying it's just dating and it's probably hard to find guys these days who DON'T have kids while still strongly preferring guys who just don't have kids. But I do think that as you get older it's harder. A lot of these guys just haven't been as selective over the years so that narrows the options. That said, I am going to just start saying no to guys with kids because I don't want to deal with their ex issues. They always tell me at first there are no ex issues and as I get into the relationship, I find out that those issues are either developing or he was lying about it so I am just going to start noping out at the start.
I agree 100%. That can be frustrating. I you really don’t want children of your own just waiting a few more years and date a man with independent (emphasis on independent) adult children. A man that’s absolutely child free is the best choice though.
you're 100% right on all points...wish I had as a younger girl, previously childfree had seen things like this, or done some research into how bad it can get, cuz lord can it! I woulda ran so far years back...but here I am with my own five years later....and two other people's poorly behaved son lol...
Love your channel❤️ Big thank you for saying what so many CF channels don't acknowledge and what's been a major reason I have never dated guys with kids....the EX. Bad enough I'd be dealing with someone else's baggage (kids) but also the ex always buzzing around, calling...who needs it!!? No way in he!! I'd ever take on someone's kids as a CF woman, but Ill be dam@ed if Im gonna put up with your ex. I don't love ANYONE that much. Deck must be 100% cleared for us only...no kids or ex. Ive recently had a guy who's still yakkin/texting with the long-ago ex (baby mama)...and the 'kid' (an accident) is 40. Still gave me the 'shes the mother if my kid' excuse. What a joke. Im rid if him now.
Omg!! 😅 look at what I found binge watching 🤭 I was so wrong! I know Cappies age in reverse but wow you got me !! -I dated a guy with full custody of a preteen daughter once🙃 great man, nice girl but never again!
@@ChildfreeLT yes !! That's exactly what my mom told me, as much as she gets on my nerves, I'm grateful she alteast gives me some advice. I'm also requiring that before I have intercourse with any man we both should get tested together and show each other proof of the medical documentation. So many men lie about not being tested. More and more women are asking their men to get tested before they allow them excess to their bodies. However it has a lot of men angry. I heard some women boyfriends broke up with them because they ask them to get tested before they start having intercourse. I only date for marriage so to me its pathing a easier way for me to know the men who are truly marriage minded.
I agree. I have no kids and I’m married to a childless woman. I’ve gotten a vasectomy and my wife has gotten a hysterectomy. It’s better that way. Trust me.
After being the child in this equation, i would never date a guy with kids. My dad dumped us on these 'aunties' who were nice when he was around and nasty when he wasn't. Aside from them being horrid, they werent paid because he was sleeping with them, making them unpaid labour . Then his second wife made sure my brother and i knew , 'she didnt have to do s***for us because she was not our mother( nice when dad was there horrid when he wasnt). In the end she turned us into servants, treated so badly we in turn left to find our own mum. My dad didnt care to look for us like we were disposable!!
I also found that some divorced men with kids have lots of mental baggages after an ugly breakup. They did not heal from their previous wound, and they expect the next one can help them heal, but they bleed onto the next person instead. They expect the new partner to love them and their kids unconditionally, 10x better than the previous relationships, to compensate their loss, suffering from the past. But the love and attention they give you back is conditional: only if u meet their needs, u will be regarded as a supportive partner, and you will be accepted and loved back. In a lot of cases, this is not really a relationship, it is a situationship. The expectation from the kid-free partner can be unrealistic. Some men have a comparative measure, and compare you with the good version of the ex when she was at the good phase of the marriage. If this can not be replicated in the new relationship, the man quickly got disappointed and move onto next again.
Yeah, some guy tried to manipulate me to be his kids step mom and I wasnt having it. If someone is okay with dating someone with kids I wont bash it but none should ever feel manipulated into it. Too many red flags, and I dont have kids, so of course I would rather have a partner who dosent have kids already. I straight up told the guy I wasnt interested in him and he should find someone who already had kids, and he wouldnt even respect that and he was manipulative in other ways. Acting suicidal ect and needing a friend and then trying to get my attention romantically again trying to force things after I communicated he had no chance. He was a serious nutcase. I feel bad for his daughter, but I am happy I didnt get fooled into being with him. I sure wasted time though being there for a suicidal guy who needed a therapist instead, but I felt bad for him. Never again will I fall for that though he was jealous of me trying to date guys I was actually interested in and trying to sabatoge it while being my "friend" who needed help because he was a single dad who was suicidal. He totally took advantage of my kind and empathic nature he was just a total trainwreck. He was just a boundary breaker and it was all about him and what he wanted and not about me at all and about what I wanted.... Phew I dodged a bullet. He was trying to grow on me like a toxic mold and there was a point when I almost considered it because he wouldnt leave me alone anyway. I had to block him everywhere and tell him he needed to leave me alone since he was nothing but a manipulator.
It's not fair for a woman with grown kids like me to take care of someone else's small kids! I am 40 years old and my son is 21 years old. That's like asking me to start parenthood all over again with a kid that is not mine. #NoWay #AccessDenied
That possessive, crazy-ex behavior is probably why a lot of parents either fight for sole custody or nope-out on the kids except for financial support. There is a reason the two broke up and they still can't get a day of peace or equal parenting decisions.
Men with kids( some of them) don’t want kids! So don’t date women without children and hope they don’t want kids! It’s cruel and selfish! I know I was with one!
Ok.....I'm a bit confused 🤔......I can understand 2 people who don't have kids either choosing to create their own family/choosing not to have children. The part that puzzles me are people that have kids, but don't want to deal with people that have kids 🤷🏾♂️
It don't necessarily be about the kids. It be the situation with the other parent. At least for me. I don't like dating men with children because it's always complicated. As a single woman with a kid, I don't have those types of complications so I don't want to date a man with them either. I love kids & don't mind the children even if they're difficult but I'll never deal with the difficult baby mama/ ex wife situations. It's never worth it to me.
I was crazy about this man. And he dumped me because he said I was too intense. So what does he do? Goes and fucks this woman who I knew was after him and gets her pregnant. He didn’t marry her but he stepped up and supported his kid and made sure they were taken care of. I don’t see him for years only to run into him and his teenaged son! He’d gotten married and had a couple more kids. In any case, he asked me to go to lunch and it was positively nerve wracking. His son called him at least ten times while we were in the restaurant. A few years down the line, he and his wife were divorcing. He asked me if we could go away for a romantic weekend to Napa. The morning before we were supposed to go, he had to cancel because one of his kids was sick. After the third time that happened, I said forget it. He showed up three or four more times over the years and each time he’d disappear for months because of some problem with his damn kids. As recently as last year he was still calling me, still professing his love. He mentioned he was having health problems. I told him to get himself to the doctor and call me when they’d figured out what was wrong. I never heard from him again because he was dead from lung cancer a few months later. I found out on his Facebook page. The point being, regardless of the, I think, genuine love we had for each other, we never managed to really connect because of his kids. He was a very good father and I realized that I would always come after his children and later, his grandchildren. Which was never going to be good enough for me.
I think these are good reasons why you should not date a man with kids I think it's good and important to be honest with yourself and knowing what you want and don't want, if you can't do that then it will never work out with anyone. If a man puts his wife first before his kids he hates his kids especially if the wife don't like non of his kids whether or not they are still kids or adult children it's not gonna last very long.
My question is if you are adamant about being child free, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DATE ANYONE WITH CHILDREN? The issues are 1.disrespect 2.financial shenanigans 3.always being second best 4.tons of unnecessary drama 5.being free child care 6.looking crazy and like a whole circus in these streets
You have some really good reasons to not date men with kids. I wouldn’t mind it because I love kids, but I don’t want to deal with baby mama drama. I don’t care if a man don’t have money to do things there are plenty of stuff people can do for free.
It’s not just that. You can love kids and treat them well, and some will still dislike you because you’re not their Mommy or other reasons out of your control.
@@nox7282you are true, there was a guy that my mom dated when I was really little that I didn’t like because I thought he was an automatic replacement of my dad.
Also if they pay child support sometimes the new wife has to help too. I'm definitely not interested in paying for any man's children. That's his responsibility not mine.
I just watched your video..... not all men fit that scenario.....I have 3 sons. I was on child support for 22 years. 1 child is grown. 1 lives with me and 1 child live with his remarried mother. Both my 1st born mother and my ex-wife know not to try to run my house. And my family don't care about who I date. I am just saying there are good men out here. My teens are both humble and respectful young men. I am proud of them. But I do hope you find the man you are looking for. Sooner than later.
My dad got so angry at me when I dated a couple of guys with kids. He sat me down and he said stop doing that. He said I want you to come number one in a man's life. And you can't do that if he's got a kid. And if he does put you number one that means he's a bad father. And ain't nobody got time for either of that
Well said!!!! I wouldn’t want to date a guy who has children but don’t spend time with them or take care of them either.
He doesn't want you to be somebody's rebound, and all of a sudden you're pregnant with his child, when the guy is just spreading his seed everywhere.
Bless your father. He loves you.
lol I wish my dad had said something similar, except for we need to stop this nonsense saying if parents don't "put their kids first" instead putting relationships first, that that automatically means the kids suffer or the parent is a bad parent. cuz that's bs. the kids grow up and move out/on live their lives, then you're left hopefully with each other in a relationship, and if my parents had put themselves over us the kids, they might still be together today and might not have had to split when my bro and I came of age...
I totally agree with you Sarah. I am glad more women are coming out with their experiences on raising kids or not having kids
@@sarahscalpel561
Idk kids should come first for most things in a normal relationship. Unless idk the kid crazy or something. Otherwise you’re a shit parent.
Yeah let single parents date each other, and not bother childfree people
facts and the sad part is, they wont leave CF people alone. They will approach us like they don't have kids, or get offended when we reject the, Go be with other single parents. I've even heard some single mothers say they don't want a man with kids bc they don't want to deal with the baggage that comes with them.
While In the mean time their own baggage... But go off! 🙄
Single parents only want to date childfree folks according to them they want childfree folks because it has less drama. I was like WTF, are they assuming their life will be back to normal when they are childfree??! That's a life of parenthood and they need to accept it! They are just selling their paternal privilege or maternal privilege towards childfree folks.
I wouldn't have dated anyone with kids when I was younger. I didn't want to be a step but also, I didn't want to have kids with a man that was already a father. I refuse to have kids with more than one man and I don't want a man that would have more than one baby mamma.
I was married for a long time and we had two kids. I'm very careful with those I allow around my kids, especially since both are special needs.
Now that I'm older with kids, I'm still careful about dating fathers. I'm still not interested in men that think nothing of having kids with more than one woman and also with men that aren't careful regarding ppl they allow around their kids
I have a friend that has had three marriages, three kids with two of those ex wives and now whines that quality women don't want him. Ppl that know their worth don't want all that extra grief. If you have nothing but stress to offer someone, you have no business trying to get with anyone. Fix your life, then put yourself out there.
Lol they don’t want each other , they want us child free folks . Go figure 🤷🏽♀️ selfish summamabishes
Child free people should be with child free people! Agreed! Respect to you!
Thank you 🙏🏾
Yea or if there kid is grown
I agree ❤️. Idk why so many men with kids are so persistent with me
Absolutely 💯
That makes sense
I have only one reason for not dating men with kids: THE KIDS.
😂😂😂😂😂
Lol😂😂😂
😂😂😂The Kids!
My own issue is the baby mama those ones are wicked and you just don’t know the type of co-parenting/relationship they have.
😂😂😂😂
Single fathers target child-free women. Single father don't even want to date someone like themselves, which is all we need to know about them.
👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
Exactly!
most men in general dont wanna date women with kids lol not just men w kids
Exactly.
So true. They don't want to do extra work to raise someone else's kids, yet expect his kid to be well looked after by child free woman. Double standard
Nope never date fathers, unless the children are completely grown & outta the house, even then they can cause problems.
Thanks for responding🙏🏾
🤭🤭🤭
@Belltown Daisy that seems like a lot. Good luck
Even then, it can be a huge headache! My last dude's accident is 40 years old and the motherf@$er STILL yakking n texting with baby mama. Gave me the 'but shes the the mother if my kid' bulls$!t. Bye, dude!!
I would like to add other reasons why I refuse to date men with children:
1) Depends on the law but when you marry a man who owes child support, you will be financially liable. I refuse to pay for someone else's children.
2) Some men maintain a "friends with benefits" relationship with their exes despite "breaking up." They use the kid as an excuse. Before you know it the ex is pregnant again and he wants to make it work for the children's sake.
2) Some men date solely to get free childcare. Once you get together he'll dump his children on you.
You cannot travel out of the country if you own child support payments
Yep, I went through this. Never again...
You hit all the key problems with dating single fathers in these 3 points.
Number 2!!!!!!!!!!!
🎯🎯🎯
I think it's also unfair to us, childfree individuals, to take care of someone else's kids. For what?
Exactly. There are no benefits
And you don't get to decide how these kids are raised. People with kids very often want their parents or partners to take care of their children, but only on their terms. No one is allowed to discipline them or tell them what they think.
Right!!? Who wants to deal with someone bratty ass kids and ex baby mama ..next
Exactly. You are slotted into someone else's life.
This is full facts.
Single parents should date each other. Someone should make a dating app. Specifically for single parents. Also, there should be an app for child free people too.
I agree. I saw a commercial for app for single parents but nothing for CF. I think if a CF app was created, single parents would lie about not having kids to get on there
It’s bad enough on dating apps since single parents lie about having kids all the time 😅
They do have STIR that caters to single parents. My sis is on there and OMG the sob stories of these men! Some want that free labor, not a gf or wife.
@MelaniaRose Been there. He waited until i told him i love him. Before that he just didn't mentioned it but then he lied on top of it. When he came out with the truth, i told him, that this wasn't the way i pictured our relationship to be like. He then gaslighted me, saying: You told me before that you love me and all of a sudden your feelings changed, just because i told you, i have a daughter ?
I'm a dude and I agree with you Elle 100%. I'm 26 and childfree. Got a vasectomy when I was 24. You're going to get snatched up by a childfree guy I can already tell. Dating single parents come with alot of unnecessary drama.
On behalf of all the women out here, thank you for taking birth control as a responsibility upon yourself and getting the vasectomy. It would be great if you could spread the word to other men to just get the snip done because it's reversible, and it saves everybody a lot of time and a lot of drama. I commend you!
@@involuntarilycelebrate Yeah I knew I didn't want kids since I was a teenager. I didn't really date or anything until I got my vasectomy. And I tried to tell dudes in real life about being child free and consider getting a vasectomy and they look at me like I'm an alien. So, I left it alone. They expect women to take care of all the birth control responsibility. As well as all of the childrearing. I hope I can find a single childfree woman in real life.
@@MyFutureX2 where do u live?
@@antinatalistwitch111 Orlando,FL.
Heyyyyy O-town in the house
There are a ton of guys out there with 3-4 kids that want you to always be available for them, but yet remind you all the time that their kids are their priority. Ladies, please don’t settle for being last on someone’s priority list!
Absolutely! I have also seen men in the past that will use their girlfriends as babysitters. Every time they wanna hang out with a woman they always end up, leaving to run some errands and they want them to watch their children for them.
@Mame Fatou Gordon At 22 I once dated one with kids. His kids came first. We barely got to know one another. I dump him his leas than 3 months. I was turned off by men with children. They will never put you first and if they do they are either dead beats or abandoned their kids.
There are exceptions though. I met a guy, back in the 80s. He told he "has a 9 year old son, from his ex girlfriend in another state". Then he told me " the boy is my kid, but he was a mistake, because she hated taking the pill. She got pregnant to try & save our relationship, it was too late. She knew "I never wanted kids". " She kept the boy, but didn't want me in her life or to contribute financially". I said " it takes two to tango, why didn't you take precautions too?" He said "she was on the pill, until she stopped". We didn't last longer than 3 months. I stayed on the pill & I made sure he used precautions, too ! I don't date anymore. There's very few single, middle age, childfree men left. So I'm happy being single & childfree now !
In many cases...females marry males who have 3 or 4 baby mommas...so there are many females who co-sign on being 4th or 5th baby momma.
@@joejackson7601Are you american ? I feel like Baby Mama/Daddy culture is big over there. Here where i live, most women would not consider a single parent.
I gave a man with kids a chance once, and he said to me that I would always come second to them. And fair enough or whatever, but that's honestly not what I want for my life 🤷♀️
You will never be a priority so if that is what you want you do not need to date men with kids
@@ChildfreeLT nope, it's not for me.
I would have walked away as soon as he said that. That’s disrespectful to tell a potential partner you’ll always come second. That shows that they don’t value you. No one should be coming first or second. There should be a balance. There shouldn’t be any competition between a partner and your children. It’s possible to be a loving partner and a good parent at the same time. Nowadays people spoil their children & give them power over their relationships. These people who want to make their kids the center of their world need to stay single and just be there for their kids.
@@misscamara12 Yes, I agree with this 100%, couldn't have said it better
@misscamara12 Sorry, but I disagree with you on one point. It is NOT possible to be a good parent while chasing love and relationships. The children will suffer. As a pediatric RN, I see firsthand the results of parents who put their love lives above the safety and well-being of their children. When people make the conscious choice to become parents, those children should be the priority and NUMBER ONE. They don't ask to be born. If people don't want that monumental responsibility, then they need to stay childfree. But thinking a single parent is supposed to prioritize you over their kids is ridiculous.
Men who are childfree probably have values and attitudes that are better suited for women who don’t want children. They also come with less baggage.
No no. Not always my BD didn't have kids before he met me. I thought he was a catch but he wasn't. Still lived with either his mom till his 40s or a gf, been together 4yrs and never had a car. In the beginning I was always picking him up so we could hang out. He left me to care for his daughter alone and I struggled but when I eventually got my own place and shit together..guess who wanted to move in? Tried it and it didn't go well as he had a shitty temper and attitude so I let it go. This is just a cautionary tale. Some men are single for a reason.
@@sixteen.candles.4644What has being single because of certain reason, have to do with the fact that chilsfree people are suited better for each other.
Dating a person with children as a CF person hardly ever works out well. That man not looking for love, he looking for help. Run! Sure, there’s exceptions but not factoring in what happens majority of the time is foolish. Playing that game will always leave you with a unsatisfactory prize. Preserve your peace and always say nope!
I can’t deal with coming second to anyone and I’m just gonna be honest and say that . I don’t like getting put off because he has to take care of the kids 🙄. I respect that he takes care of his kids but I don’t have time to be waiting around. It’s just unfair to me to have to put off something I’m really excited about because of kids that aren’t even mine .
Absolutely! I wouldnt even hire women with kids in my small business years ago. Didnt wanna hear the whining about my kid is sick, or I have to go the kid's school for some busshit, or my husband doesn't like me working weekends or evening. F@$k y'all! Hired single guys snd single women only.
I don't like kids. They get on my nerves. 🤣🤣🤣
Mine too 😂😂😂😂
Now I don't feel so bad anymore
Me too😂
Boy glad someone said it!
Am also not so much into children, I feel awkward around them 😢
I'll be damned if i help pay a mans child support, raise another womans kids or come 2nd to a child thats not mine. I'm in my 20s it dont make any kind of sense to skate uphill against rain and wind.
I married a man who didn't have children because I wanted us to raise them together as first time parents. Everything we have goes directly to our own kids 😊
Lucky good job
Dating someone with kids is like buying a house you can’t afford
I am 41 and I dated 2 women who had children. The 1st one was TERRIBLE. Her daughter was very respectful but the son was a headache. I had resentment in my heart towards him due to his disrespect. The last girl had 4 kids by him and it was drama with her and him. If you have kids ONLY date those with kids.
💯
They won't date others with kids because they want child free men and women to gave the all the attention meanwhile they have kids and loaded with drama
@@ChildfreeLT 💯
@@holyempressw8531They are responsible for why Karenism ideology prevails.
Dude, there's no reason for you to be dating a woman with 4 kids. I honestly would be mad if I knew pulled that stunt!
FAAAAAAAACTS I like my peace and freedom too much being childfree and single
Dating a single parent is such a headache. Protect your peace! 😁
So you don't plan on dating or let alone being in a relationship then?
I can relate!
Christian
Correct. No marriage and no kids and there's many more of us out here than you probably realize. It just isn't popular and society in general loves to silence us.
Same here, 33 and NO regrets. Don't want children or being tired down. Relationships are draining.....
Been there, done that. I won’t date single fathers again for all the reasons you listed above.
From one LT to another lol. I totally agree
I can add one more valid reason: If the guy is toxic, he will use the kids to try and keep you around, putting up with his s*. Then of course if you genuinely bonded with the kids, it hurts like hell when you have to walk away.
I am speaking from personal experience. At age 24, I dated a guy with 4 kids. They weren't the problem, he was! So now I am right with you, would maybe only consider it if the kids were grown up or close to it.
Absolutely. Sorry you had to go through that sis. I know it sucked to leave the kids but you gotta do whats right for you. Thank you for watching
@@ChildfreeLT Thank you! Yes, leaving those kids broke my heart but they would all be grown up now... and I believe there is a chance I wouldn't be here to write this had I stayed with that man.
Love this! Instantly subscribed! 39, single, hella childfree... I 100% agree with not dating men with kids. I won't be doing that again.
💯💯💯 I will never do that unless the kids are grown and with that you got to be careful and make sure the adult kids are not BUMS!! Lol Thank you for subscribing 🙏🏾
@@ChildfreeLT😂
I don't want to date men with kids but at our age it becomes difficult to find an age appropriate guy with no kids 😢
My two kids are grown and I made the mistake of dating a man with several underaged kids. The main problems were 1) he had them by different women so that was variations of baby mama drama 2) when he picked all of them up he would bring them all to my house and for the most part they were disrespectful and they were used to him moving around from woman to woman. He taught them to be as manipulative is he is 3) his financial resources were split between all these kids 4) still had ties to two of the exes and 5) they were not disciplined and he would tell me "that's just how kids are" and toward the end I told them I've never seen kids like this. I know kids do things they're not supposed to do but that's where adults come into play. That's the whole point of parenting. That was the most chaotic 6-7 months of my entire life. Even my dog didn't know what to think. 🤣 Peace was restored in my life after that.
That is good. Lesson well learned.
@@ChildfreeLT yes... never again
I dated a man who I thought had one daughter from a previous relationship. I am childfree. He was kind and responsible, so I gave him a chance. However, I hired an investigator just for peace of mind. Come to find out he had three other daughters by 3 different women. Never married to any of them. I ghosted 👻 him with the quickness. I will never entertain a single father ever again. I don't care how kind, good looking, wealthy, or fabulous he is. I just can't do kids.
@@Childfree334 that's a shame he hid the fact that he had three other kids! The ones who don't hide it are just as bad because they have a sob story for all of it to justify why they didn't marry any of the women, why they kept moving around making babies all over the place, and why it was the woman's fault that she got pregnant and that it didn't work out between them.
Not the dog 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
If his family members are still super cool with the mother they act so weird towards you no matter how you are
Men with kids always want to date the ladies without them. When really they should be trying to date the women who already have kids. It’s a better fit.
Currently, there’s a guy who has interests in me…he has THREE kids!!! THREE!!🙄 Well, I guess he’s gonna get his feelings hurt. I just can’t deal with kids. PERIOD! I don’t have patience for kids and I have anger issues. So no. #childfree4life
You need to run
@@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 Oh, I did. And never looked back!🚪🏃🏾♀️
@@Oneandonlymstaffy yep you had no business being with an single dad unfortunately
I would never have a serious relationship with a man with kids Just ok for a casual informal relationship. Now I am older, I would never date a man with kids or grandkids at all
Wow not even with grandkids? That is really interesting
I agree with you about the grandkids. Im not playing second fiddle to anyone....been there, done that....exes, kids, OR grandkids. I have no kids by choice and I will not have someone else's dumped into my life. Also, I hate kids.
In support of this! A mother once said her daughter's father is now dating an attorney and she is encouraging him to propose because right after they marry she will return to the court house seeking more child support. That mindset sits in a lot of parents. Dating a parent is a choice. Stay away from the fray.
People have to much baggage nowadays
After being with two men who have children, I agree that I am much happier now. I love all of their children, but it’s the baby mamas that got in the way
The only man with kids I will date is if he is rich rich.
This and also #1 if you date a man with children you may someday marry him and then wind up living with kids at least part of the week. The only thing worse than having kids and having to live with them is having to live with someone else's kids!
It seems in this age we are growing personally. We do not want to be "mothered" and I don't want to "mother" anyone either.
I am only adulting...not parenting or feeling needy.
No kids!!
A lot of these men don't even have the time to date if they're working and taking care of the child (and the baby mother) on some level! Then you have to consider whether he's even marriage minded if he never married his baby mother...it's A lot!
Dated a single dad with a 10yr old. It was a horrible experience. Whatever u do for the kid, the kid doesn't appreciate it, sometimes even rejects u. U feel like u constanly have to "please the kid", to survive in the family. The love from the dad is conditional: only if u look after him n his kids, u will be loved back. Otherwise, he ll ge rid of u quickly. I lived a very low self-esteem life in the past 2 yrs. Will never make the same mistake
childless people should NEVER EVER date a single parent and this applies to both men and women
watching this...coz im 30, and im childfree, never wanted them, i met a guy. Literally perfect. But bastard hid the fact he has 2 kids and he spends all his free time with them. I left, because that shit aint for me, they say when u truly love smn u accept them fully, but sorry doesnt mean i accept fully other individuals that u have as your family.
Ladies just think , there's is a reason that he is divorced by his ex and has children with her...his ex just warned you just by letting him go ....no woman will let a good man go ..just think deeply and you will know the answer is already there
Snapple Apple Fact, great point
Actual and factual!
What if she left him, for another man?
I had this recently. He's having a breakdwn now because she's stopped him seeing them, since I met him.
He said hes "losing his mind".
Ive been cast aside.
@@helenmcclay2622he's probably not good in bed 🤷🏾♀️
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I agree. I am currently dating a guy with 2 kids + combative ex. He lives 2 hours away. He also has another older child who is 12 in Alberta who he rarely sees + mentions but still cares deeply for. She lives with the mom + stepdad. So much damn drama with the ex here tho in Ontario. She has dictated that he can only have them on weekends. I work during the week myself in customer service + be the time the work week is done Im drained AF. I only have weekends off myself. So he has the kids on the weekend 4 + 6 year old + when they are around they demand all his attention. He tells me to come out on the weekends so we can all be together + so we can spend time together. I honestly have no desire to deal with all of that on the weekend; the shouting, bickering etc so I arely see him. The last time I saw them was a month again when he came to pick me up from train station near where he lives, an hour away + the plans of them being dropped off beforehand to the mom were changed so he came + picked me up with them in the van. I barely could get a word in with him as the children kept shouting abruptly in the van, shrieking, bickering + kicking the back of my chair. I literally had the thought cross my mind for him to just drop me off at the side of the road so I could get some peace. At one point I turned my head to the side + had tears fall down my cheek as I felt so overwhelmed by the noise, like nails on a chalkboard. And I'm supposed to spend my days off with them for 2 days on the weekend so I can have 3 - 4 hours of alone time at the end of the day. I have so many disappointing stories I could share + I am at a point where I feel numb + just don't care. It's like where is there space for me, for us. I will never date a guy with children again. This was my first time + it has been nothing but stress + heartache. NEVER DATE A MAN/WOMAN WITH KIDS UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL NEGLECTED + PUT ON THE BACKBURNER unless they have good boundaries with their ex + their kids.
This relationship will be a waste of time. Now if he just had that one older child living long distance, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But two recent children under 10 around the corner is too much. The baby mama and kids will be in charge of his life for a long time. The first one moved on and is married. The kid is also almost grown but with this second baby mama, he needs to stay single for several years and just focus on his kids. Don’t spend your off days babysitting another woman’s kids. Time is precious don’t waste it. It’s better to be single and have your peace and freedom than to get yourself in this mess.
Honey I’ve learned my lesson TWICE. I know they say three times the charm, but NO. The last one I dated EXHAUSTED ME. He was always broke and angry. No thank you 😅 And it’s also UNFAIR to us who don’t have kids. I will never forget the little girl I fell in love with and now I can’t see her cause I don’t talk to her dad anymore 😢😢😢😢
This is one dating topic where both man and females totally agree. It’s crazy how both parties experience almost the exact same things when dating a single mother/father. Dating a single parent is a lose lose situation just for 1 fact. 1 her/his kid will always be number 1 priority and believe me it will get old quick or 2 if she/he does put you above the kid it means they’re a bad parent. Like I said it’s a lose lose situation. Just don’t do it! The only time when you can date a single parent is when the ex died and the kid is still a baby, but even in this case I don’t suggest it. Just never ever do it! Believe me it’s not worth it! No matter how great their personality is, how great the connection is because there are so many complications that it’s like trying to compete in a running sport while having 1 leg.
Am i too late? Cuz i married to a dad for 4 kids 😔😔
That's exactly why it's best to have more nuclear family homes instead blended family homes I said when I became an adult I do not want step kids and to be responsible for someone else's kids it's either I have a family of my own where everybody is related or either I will just be single with no children or be with someone who does not have nor want kids it's just easier that way.
I can't date a man with kids. I'm quick to let them know😅
Love this video. Your top 5 reasons can be applied to men as well. Let's Destigmatize Men not wanting to date Single moms. People with kids should date each other.
Absolutely!! I think single parents only need to date single parents. Being Childfree is a blessing and some of these parents are miserable and want a childfree person to pick up their slack
@@ChildfreeLT Can you do a video about the judgement that you encounter from Women that find out that you are a single black women with no kids? I've found that women are more judgmental of childfree women than men.
I'm a 41 year old, successful black male with no kids and I support your message 100%. Glad to have found your channel.
Thanks so much and I certainly will.
@@DougMPA I am also a single, black professional woman who is childfree. Most of my judgment comes from men. The women tell me I was smart.
My son is 37 no children and wants to start his own Family,i totally understand.
I’m a soon to be 23 yr old child free guy that just got out of a relationship with a woman that has a child and I’m so happy I did..the relationship was good seemingly in every way you could imagine until after we had relationship problems and disagreements, she went behind my back after we said not to and I’m thinking we talked about our tough times and grew from it ..only to find out she was badmouthing me to like 2 of her friends and even said she would cheat..and I was actually doing right by her in the relationship but after that I felt betrayed and I couldn’t even look at her the same nor trust her anymore…now I’m single working on myself and just want a child free woman I can really be in a happy faithful, loyal and loving relationship with & build my own family with as well
Sorry you had to go through that. It is good that you got out of that relationship and grow from it. Hopefully your next person is childfree as well
@@ChildfreeLT also she claimed she didn’t mean anything but I don’t see how but thank you❤️we definitely will find that person 🙏🏽
@@divinity2966 Absolutely!! 🙏🏾
@@ChildfreeLT I also do want kids of my own to I just want a child free woman to create our kingdom with as well no outside ex neither of us Would have to deal with hopefully that doesn’t sound messed up
@@divinity2966 You say that you actually do want kids of your own right? So Then your not actually childfree.
Childfree means that you make an active decision to not have kids (biological, adopted etc) now or in the future. You can't be 'childfree until'.
So I advise that you stop using the word childfree for yourself because that's not actually who you are and you can confuse childfree women who are looking for a man who is actually childfree (aka doesn't want children at all and has no problem with posdibly getting a vasectomy)
Even if there is no ex (in my case, his previous wife died), life is still difficult as hell with a kid involved. His family think the whole world owe the kid, because there is no mom, so, the expectation from u is high. U role is a free nanny who brings in income. An absolutely unfair deal. Child free women, stay away from single dads.
The mom side of the family wont accept you either
this is the best video ive seen on this topic you mentioned all the reasons i have for not wanting to date people with kids.
I think I am going to go this direction. For a long time I have been saying it's just dating and it's probably hard to find guys these days who DON'T have kids while still strongly preferring guys who just don't have kids. But I do think that as you get older it's harder. A lot of these guys just haven't been as selective over the years so that narrows the options. That said, I am going to just start saying no to guys with kids because I don't want to deal with their ex issues. They always tell me at first there are no ex issues and as I get into the relationship, I find out that those issues are either developing or he was lying about it so I am just going to start noping out at the start.
These single parents are not looking for partners. They are looking for HELP. These parents should just date each other
Yesss to all of this!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
You are so pretty. Naturally
Thank you!! 😘😘
I agree 100%. That can be frustrating. I you really don’t want children of your own just waiting a few more years and date a man with independent (emphasis on independent) adult children. A man that’s absolutely child free is the best choice though.
you're 100% right on all points...wish I had as a younger girl, previously childfree had seen things like this, or done some research into how bad it can get, cuz lord can it! I woulda ran so far years back...but here I am with my own five years later....and two other people's poorly behaved son lol...
Thank you so much for watching 🙏🏾
My question is, why don't single parents with kids date other single parents with kids?
They want to date Childfree people because they want us to focus on only raising their kids. Use our time, money,resources, etc on them
Your skin is beautiful ❤️
Thank you very much.
I really needed this today. Thank you for this video ❤
I agree wit everything u said, well done also I’m child free
Love your channel❤️
Big thank you for saying what so many CF channels don't acknowledge and what's been a major reason I have never dated guys with kids....the EX. Bad enough I'd be dealing with someone else's baggage (kids) but also the ex always buzzing around, calling...who needs it!!? No way in he!! I'd ever take on someone's kids as a CF woman, but Ill be dam@ed if Im gonna put up with your ex. I don't love ANYONE that much. Deck must be 100% cleared for us only...no kids or ex.
Ive recently had a guy who's still yakkin/texting with the long-ago ex (baby mama)...and the 'kid' (an accident) is 40. Still gave me the 'shes the mother if my kid' excuse. What a joke. Im rid if him now.
Omg!! 😅 look at what I found binge watching 🤭 I was so wrong! I know Cappies age in reverse but wow you got me !!
-I dated a guy with full custody of a preteen daughter once🙃 great man, nice girl but never again!
I love your content. Smart woman!
Blessing to you Queen, I tell my adult children same... Child free is the way to go especially nowadays 💯🇯🇲
I am not childfree (have 1 child), but I absolutely agree with you. Don't do it!
I totally agree. Im 61yrs old and childfree
Same here
If you're childfree and determined to stay that way, leave the single parents alone.
I agree. Which is why i dont date men with kids
No one Dictates my life my home Nobody pointblank period‼️
Ve been there, I agree fully with all of your points!!
I’m 36 too and I dated a single dad once. Never again! Thankfully, I’m getting sterilized soon so no worries for me! 🎉
That's cool! I've heard of doctors giving women a hard time if they have never had kids. I hate that and I want to be sterilized too.
I want to get sterilized before I get involved with a man also
That may be a good idea. Or at least make sure that he has a vasectomy.
@@ChildfreeLT yes !! That's exactly what my mom told me, as much as she gets on my nerves, I'm grateful she alteast gives me some advice. I'm also requiring that before I have intercourse with any man we both should get tested together and show each other proof of the medical documentation. So many men lie about not being tested.
More and more women are asking their men to get tested before they allow them excess to their bodies.
However it has a lot of men angry. I heard some women boyfriends broke up with them because they ask them to get tested before they start having intercourse.
I only date for marriage so to me its pathing a easier way for me to know the men who are truly marriage minded.
It really does make them angry, I just asked a guy to products papers and he ghosted me. I got ghosted for being responsible geez.
Smart lady!!!
Good luck to you!!!
🙏❤️
Stay that way and enjoy your life and take your time and don't be in a hurry
Great job baby well said and done 🎉
I’ve thought about ALLLL of these things! All of these are valid reasons.
Smart woman! 😊👍
I agree. I have no kids and I’m married to a childless woman. I’ve gotten a vasectomy and my wife has gotten a hysterectomy. It’s better that way. Trust me.
That is great. I would love to interview you and/or your wife for a Childfree Interview. Please email me if you are interested 🧡
Support. Good decision.
I feel the same way you right
Thank you for watching
I'm childfree by choice good😊those kids better be grown
Same. I’m also child free and 31
After being the child in this equation, i would never date a guy with kids. My dad dumped us on these 'aunties' who were nice when he was around and nasty when he wasn't. Aside from them being horrid, they werent paid because he was sleeping with them, making them unpaid labour . Then his second wife made sure my brother and i knew , 'she didnt have to do s***for us because she was not our mother( nice when dad was there horrid when he wasnt). In the end she turned us into servants, treated so badly we in turn left to find our own mum. My dad didnt care to look for us like we were disposable!!
I appreciate that this channel owner does not have the typical made-up look that is very popular these days. Good presentation of the topic as well.
I also found that some divorced men with kids have lots of mental baggages after an ugly breakup. They did not heal from their previous wound, and they expect the next one can help them heal, but they bleed onto the next person instead. They expect the new partner to love them and their kids unconditionally, 10x better than the previous relationships, to compensate their loss, suffering from the past. But the love and attention they give you back is conditional: only if u meet their needs, u will be regarded as a supportive partner, and you will be accepted and loved back. In a lot of cases, this is not really a relationship, it is a situationship. The expectation from the kid-free partner can be unrealistic. Some men have a comparative measure, and compare you with the good version of the ex when she was at the good phase of the marriage. If this can not be replicated in the new relationship, the man quickly got disappointed and move onto next again.
Preach
Yeah, some guy tried to manipulate me to be his kids step mom and I wasnt having it. If someone is okay with dating someone with kids I wont bash it but none should ever feel manipulated into it. Too many red flags, and I dont have kids, so of course I would rather have a partner who dosent have kids already. I straight up told the guy I wasnt interested in him and he should find someone who already had kids, and he wouldnt even respect that and he was manipulative in other ways. Acting suicidal ect and needing a friend and then trying to get my attention romantically again trying to force things after I communicated he had no chance. He was a serious nutcase. I feel bad for his daughter, but I am happy I didnt get fooled into being with him. I sure wasted time though being there for a suicidal guy who needed a therapist instead, but I felt bad for him. Never again will I fall for that though he was jealous of me trying to date guys I was actually interested in and trying to sabatoge it while being my "friend" who needed help because he was a single dad who was suicidal. He totally took advantage of my kind and empathic nature he was just a total trainwreck. He was just a boundary breaker and it was all about him and what he wanted and not about me at all and about what I wanted....
Phew I dodged a bullet. He was trying to grow on me like a toxic mold and there was a point when I almost considered it because he wouldnt leave me alone anyway. I had to block him everywhere and tell him he needed to leave me alone since he was nothing but a manipulator.
It's not fair for a woman with grown kids like me to take care of someone else's small kids! I am 40 years old and my son is 21 years old. That's like asking me to start parenthood all over again with a kid that is not mine. #NoWay #AccessDenied
Agreed. I don't want any children around me at all.
That possessive, crazy-ex behavior is probably why a lot of parents either fight for sole custody or nope-out on the kids except for financial support. There is a reason the two broke up and they still can't get a day of peace or equal parenting decisions.
I agree 💯
Men with kids( some of them) don’t want kids! So don’t date women without children and hope they don’t want kids! It’s cruel and selfish! I know I was with one!
I COMPLETELY AGREE AND I AM A MAN AND I WILL AGREE💯 CHILDFREE PARENTS SHOULD DATE CHILDFREE PARENTS 💯
Ok.....I'm a bit confused 🤔......I can understand 2 people who don't have kids either choosing to create their own family/choosing not to have children. The part that puzzles me are people that have kids, but don't want to deal with people that have kids 🤷🏾♂️
Its crazy on the dating market but I personally do not date men with kids. If he does have kids, they need to be grown and out the house
It don't necessarily be about the kids. It be the situation with the other parent. At least for me. I don't like dating men with children because it's always complicated. As a single woman with a kid, I don't have those types of complications so I don't want to date a man with them either. I love kids & don't mind the children even if they're difficult but I'll never deal with the difficult baby mama/ ex wife situations. It's never worth it to me.
@@ChildfreeLTGrown, Out in the House and Not Financially Dependent to their father are the must!
You are so pretty. ❤
Thank you 🧡🧡
I was crazy about this man. And he dumped me because he said I was too intense. So what does he do? Goes and fucks this woman who I knew was after him and gets her pregnant. He didn’t marry her but he stepped up and supported his kid and made sure they were taken care of. I don’t see him for years only to run into him and his teenaged son! He’d gotten married and had a couple more kids. In any case, he asked me to go to lunch and it was positively nerve wracking. His son called him at least ten times while we were in the restaurant. A few years down the line, he and his wife were divorcing. He asked me if we could go away for a romantic weekend to Napa. The morning before we were supposed to go, he had to cancel because one of his kids was sick. After the third time that happened, I said forget it. He showed up three or four more times over the years and each time he’d disappear for months because of some problem with his damn kids. As recently as last year he was still calling me, still professing his love. He mentioned he was having health problems. I told him to get himself to the doctor and call me when they’d figured out what was wrong. I never heard from him again because he was dead from lung cancer a few months later. I found out on his Facebook page.
The point being, regardless of the, I think, genuine love we had for each other, we never managed to really connect because of his kids. He was a very good father and I realized that I would always come after his children and later, his grandchildren. Which was never going to be good enough for me.
I think these are good reasons why you should not date a man with kids I think it's good and important to be honest with yourself and knowing what you want and don't want, if you can't do that then it will never work out with anyone. If a man puts his wife first before his kids he hates his kids especially if the wife don't like non of his kids whether or not they are still kids or adult children it's not gonna last very long.
My question is if you are adamant about being child free,
WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DATE ANYONE WITH CHILDREN?
The issues are
1.disrespect
2.financial shenanigans
3.always being second best
4.tons of unnecessary drama
5.being free child care
6.looking crazy and like a whole circus in these streets
live your life on your own terms
Also when the child doesn’t like you, he will pretend like he doesn’t notice it and will not choose them over you.
You have some really good reasons to not date men with kids. I wouldn’t mind it because I love kids, but I don’t want to deal with baby mama drama. I don’t care if a man don’t have money to do things there are plenty of stuff people can do for free.
It’s not just that. You can love kids and treat them well, and some will still dislike you because you’re not their Mommy or other reasons out of your control.
@@nox7282you are true, there was a guy that my mom dated when I was really little that I didn’t like because I thought he was an automatic replacement of my dad.
Yess but even if he take care if his kids or child but, it won't be for me lol. Absolutely I'd rather date man that's child free as i am.
Also if they pay child support sometimes the new wife has to help too. I'm definitely not interested in paying for any man's children. That's his responsibility not mine.
I just watched your video..... not all men fit that scenario.....I have 3 sons. I was on child support for 22 years. 1 child is grown. 1 lives with me and 1 child live with his remarried mother. Both my 1st born mother and my ex-wife know not to try to run my house. And my family don't care about who I date. I am just saying there are good men out here. My teens are both humble and respectful young men. I am proud of them. But I do hope you find the man you are looking for. Sooner than later.