What was my Worst Experience with Psychosis?
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- 🚨 Trigger Warning 🚨
This video covers sensitive subject matter along the lines of gore, death, and horror. Please do not watch if these themes upset you. I understand it can be difficult for people who’ve experienced psychosis to hear things that others have gone through without living it too. If you’ve had psychosis at all, you know how bad it is. Please don’t watch if this is the case for you.
Talking about the worst of psychosis is not easy. My reality was worse than anything possible in actual reality and it’s still hard to live with the things I’ve gone through. I want to talk about this to impress upon people just how serious this illness is, and to help others understand the severity of the trauma we walk away with. It may not be real to you, but to me it was a living nightmare.
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omg yes freeform delusions are the worst. its the main delusions i have its so scary. i reccall even past delusions and how they add up tot the present and it makes so much sense at the time. its so scary its unbeleivably scary. i get night terrors also
in my experience i always tell people its like having a really bad mushroom trip mentally in your thoughts
9 month sleeplessness after SSRI’s in my 60’s. P-doc speech: “we’re still in the dark ages.” Everything got worse. Did I lose track of reality? No, went ⛷️ in California. Not the same thing.
No street drugs, stopped the prescriptions. Upon returning from the trip, P-doc’s probing Q: “well, do you know how to ski?” I answered respectfully.
On-going insomnia had caused self-hospitalization. Big mistake. Almost like the movie “Unsane” with Matt Damon cameo. And hospital movie “stalking plot mistakes” that likely weren’t.
After my hospital release, I got a women’s wear catalogue in the mail. Entitled hospital security guard who “secured” my wallet used my credit card to buy stuff for one of the nurses. Soon after the hospital closed down.
Some staff & one older long haul patient used gaslighting as a default setting to keep everyone in check with unspoken threats of extended hospitalizations. Once they know you have good insurance. Like horror movies without zombies or wolverine’s.
I’m watching your videos now and it resonates with everything I’m going through right now. I haven’t been diagnosed or anything, I’m not on meds yet, but I’m constantly on this paranoid state believing everybody is conspiring against me, someone is going to break into my house and m*rder me and my two baby daughters, someone is going to kidnap them and do horrible things, like r*pe and m*rder or kidnap me, or s*ab me, I’m absolutely horrified about 🔪. I’ve mentioned this to my friend s and family and they all say I’m crazy, none of that is real. It feels very real to me though. I’m constantly thinking of how I’m going to defend myself when my attacker comes. I’m looking into buying guns and other self defence stuff which sounds completely nuts to my friends. I feel like I’m losing myself, I’m constantly living in fear. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week. Let’s see how it gets. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience 🙏🏻
@@milenadeliz oh no! That sounds horrifying! I really hope the appointment goes well. I’m glad you’re getting help.
Very similar to taking a huge amount of acid or various research chemicals. A lot of shamans have similar experiences as well to what you are talking about
Not as similar as you’d think!
Caroline, you are amazing
Thank you for this video
@@Leafy_Sees thank you!
I have a very close loved one who has gone through and is currently going through this, I just want to be the best family member I can and help them feel better anyway I can. Your videos are very educational for me and give me a better understanding of what they are going through. Thank you for sharing all that you do.
I’ve had psychosis induced by weed edibles. That sounds a bit silly. I had delusions and tried to convince others they were true. So hard to explain. Mine lasted only hours. The thought of going through it for days, months, years makes me shutter.
I hear that it’s becoming more common to have psychosis from weed as it’s gotten stronger & stronger. And I’m not surprised - the stuff they’re putting out today is SO much stronger than it was 10 years ago!
When you say you lived these things, were you visually seeing and feeling these movies playing out to you specifically?
Oh yes, 100%. Sometimes hallucinations & delusions go hand in hand so it was a really immersive experience. It was wild! Everything was so real, it was like I could reach out & touch it.
Thank you for sharing 💖I am sorry for the experiences you have gone through and what you have to go through daily. You're a very strong human being. 💕
Thank you, that means a lot to hear.
I had psychosis 8yrs ago and my delusions were of thinking i had all these illnesses it was like an extreme form of hypocondria kinda i was obsessed at googling symptoms of whatever popped in my head i went down a deep rabbit hole, i kept writing out lists of things wrong with me and writing down most of my thoughts of the time i thought i was contaminating everyone by everything i touched i took an od not being able to cope with feeling like i did and it git worse when i was in regular hospital so the crisis team came to assess me and i got admitted to a psych hospital where i stayed for 4months at the time i got diagnosed with bpd thank god i did as ik i had it i just had to be validated that i was right it really was a waking nightmare i remember parts of it some of the stuff i said and did sounds so mental when i get told by family about it i just remember feeling mega stressed and paranoid i do feel traumatisec by it and i still get some of the feelings bavk like the intrusive thoughts and feeling that noone took me seriously its all a but if a mixed up blur i just kinda came out of it naturally but i got put on anti psychotics that im still on
Wow, that’s intense! Those are some scary delusions. I’m so glad you’ve recovered. I share a lot of the same feelings, both in and out of psychosis. It really is validating to have it confirmed back to you.
Literally hell
How do you wake someone out of terrfying delusions that they believe are coming in the future and no matter how many times you try to show them they will not see. How do you wake up and know it's a delusion?
Some people do get pockets of insight in their psychosis, where they momentarily are aware of what’s happening. That’s not the case for me, but I know some people who are like that. It’s really hard to break out of a delusion. It helps to be comforted. My sister used to just soothe me during my scary delusions and tell me I was safe.
Excellent video!
Thank you!
My voices told me to stop reading a book I just bought at the library. I reluctantly let it go though I really liked it and picked up another book. I did what my imagination said and it worked for many years but I regret losing that book. I don't need the guidance of my imagination anymore. He tells me to leave town and I've experience of wandering before. He is no longer double natured, he is all bad now. But still I have some hope of integrating my dark side. Cotards syndrome was always an abstract concept for me. Consciousness diminishment, brain disease.
Hi! It is posible your bad voice have a name? How do you cope with the wishs he have for your life?
HellRaisers was a quite advance movie.
Oh lord I could go on forever!! I have a huge collection of comics, the book (& sequel), VHS and DVD copies, blueprints of the lament configuration, tshirts, action figures, I even have the lament configuration tattooed on my leg. (Terrible for psychosis) I will always love it. I wrote an amazing paper on it in college about the correlation between the lament configuration and the myths of Pandora’s box, the monkey’s paw, and the Bible story of Adam & Eve eating the apple. Still so proud of that paper. It’s just a shame I can’t handle those things anymore. I hold onto the memorabilia anyway to remind me that I did get a lot of joy out of it once.
I'm sorry you had to suffer all that demonic stuff. I have a PL that waits for you in my account. Good luck.