Introvert, No Friends? How I Create Deep Friendships With Deep People - Inner Work Library [78/500]

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  • čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
  • How To Make New Friends As An Introvert? Introvert friendships can be hard, and this episode of Inner Work Q&A explores the psychology of introvert friendship and how I make deep friendships with deep people. An especially useful video for introverts or socially expanding individuals who want to learn how to create deeper connections without getting attached to fake friends or becoming a false self persona.
    WATCH MORE Q&A EPISODES BELOW (FULL SERIES):
    • Inner Work Library Q&A...
    WATCH INNER WORK ESSENTIALS: COMPLETE COURSE | 100+ Book Recommendations:
    • Inner Work Essentials:...
    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
    00:00 How To Find Deep Friends
    01:40 Inner Work Question (Q&A)
    02:25 Introvert Psychology
    03:50 Accept Your Flaws
    05:48 Are You Unlikeable?
    07:34 Real Friends vs False Friends
    08:26 How I Choose My Friends
    10:42 Are They Safe?
    12:20 Stop Being Fake
    14:04 How To Attract New Friends
    17:21 Be Honest With Yourself
    ///
    Topics explored: conscious relationships; jordan thornton; how to make friends; how to make friends as an introvert; introvert friendship; introvert friends; new friends as an introvert; making friends as an introvert; how to make deep friendships; true friendship; how to make real friends; make real friends; find real friends; true friends; introvert; introvert psychology; introvert friend; no friends; ive got no friends; i havent got any friends; make new friends; inner work; psychology;
    ///
    📸 - Follow me on Instagram: / thorntontheory
    DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
    #introvert #traumahealing #innerwork

Komentáře • 101

  • @jordanthornton
    @jordanthornton  Před rokem +3

    *1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)*
    It's an absolute pleasure to film these CZcams videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together.
    I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions.
    Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024.
    To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together.
    Please take the time to read this service description before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc.
    ...
    *READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:*
    I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions.
    Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for containment and collaboration.
    I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive effort. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation.
    I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability.
    ...
    *HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH*
    Unlike other coaches and teachers who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense.
    This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months.
    If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated transformative practice per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual reflection, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs, no cigarettes, no vapes).
    These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with my CZcams videos may not be the right match for four months of structured mentorship.
    If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me.
    I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked transformative experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path.
    I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to making consistent and meaningful progress towards your unique goals and mentorship aspirations.
    I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via friendly and informal messenger contact, where I am active and available four days per week to cultivate an intimate personal connection while likewise enhancing your positive momentum via accountability check-ins and additional support as required.
    By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations.
    I often support people who are accustomed to wrestling with the emotional challenges associated with working through complex wounds in previous therapeutic relationships before we begin our coaching work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. We will be exploring your psyche and soma at scale and depth, and it will be your responsibility to keep me informed about the emotional texture of your internal reality, especially if you encounter negatively charged experiences, and I will of course do everything in my power to support you through the hard times as we integrate the darkness and move forwards together.
    CZcams is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private mentorships, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material.
    Ultimately, this is a highly-demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions.
    ...
    *SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:*
    The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or approximately $9,400 USD. This is my only coaching programme, and my mentorship pricing is liable to adjustment over time.

    Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and informal calls upon occasion. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday.
    If you’ve scrolled this far, and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to start exploring your goals and intentions in real-time.
    IMPORTANT: I am an intentionally independent coach, and not a licensed therapist or associated with any professional bodies or coaching institutions, and therefore enjoy the freedom to collaborate with my clients across all areas of life in an intimate, direct and highly involved coaching style. I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I also manage my own inbox and do not use automated systems or employ people to pretend to be me on Instagram, which means that it usually takes four to six weeks for me to respond to new messages and begin the interview process. Although my approach takes time, I hope you ultimately appreciate my personal emphasis on authentic and confidential communication from the very beginning of our relationship. I once again encourage you to message me immediately if you want to start working together within the next two months - bump yourself to the top of my inbox, and I’ll send you some voice notes to get our conversation started.

  • @buddleiabee
    @buddleiabee Před 11 měsíci +3

    'Exceptionally high standard. Doing something very impressive or doing something impressive' This is where people trip up in life. Perfectionism mindset. What's wrong with down to Earth people with good moral values & good interpersonal boundaries? Sometimes "good enough" is best to balance reality.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 11 měsíci

      I hope you can see that I’m simultaneously being honest about my own standards of personal performance and service while also sharing openly about my particular boundaries around the demands of responding to hundreds of people per month on social media as someone who talks about emotionally demanding topics 🌲

  • @venusian.academy
    @venusian.academy Před rokem +20

    “I’m a survivor of the friendship-making process.” 😂

  • @Bear-house
    @Bear-house Před rokem +9

    Thanks for sharing your story and requirements for friendship. These aren’t spoken about very much since people have this idea that, to be genuine, one must open their life to whom ever knocks at the door needing friendship. But “deep” friendship is entirely different. That door opens to a room where certain standards, preferences and values have to be shared and respected. It’s a sacred space where I’m happy to sit alone until I know that my guest will enjoy visiting me.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Deep friendships need true standards, exactly. Wishing you the best in your connections.

  • @nicoleconnor_
    @nicoleconnor_ Před rokem +4

    I feel so seen! I always find it interesting when others perceive my state of peace as being lonely. As a conventionally weird, introverted, hermit who is incredibly protective of my energy, I resonate 10000%. I don't "people" well because I attract trauma-dumping strangers like moths to a flame. I happily spend most of my free time alone in nature with my dog, so I have the bandwidth to be fully present in the right relationships.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Sounds like a healthy balance - love reading this, truly worth taking that time alone if the alternatives dont seem great currently.

  • @rebeccapeterson7405
    @rebeccapeterson7405 Před rokem +4

    As a good Christian girl, highly sensitive and empathetic, I was ripe fruit for those who would devour me energetically. Also, as a boring introvert, I would seek out exciting people who made me seem interesting, or so I thought. I hated every minute of having to “go out” or show up at a party. I sort of realized my true nature after being a fire lookout for 7 years, which I totally loved and felt right at home. It wasn’t until I read an article about Dr. Robert Hare and his Psychopathic Check List that I realized that my “path” in life had been a “psycho path”. I don’t have to walk there anymore since healing. Now my true friends (about 3 people) are authentic and energy giving instead of sucking. The other side of childhood trauma is rich and beautiful. Thank you for your work!

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Appreciate you having done some of this work with patience, thank you for showing up and also thank you for sharing.

  • @JennyBesserit
    @JennyBesserit Před rokem +6

    There is hope!
    I'm very introverted but because of my husband's work I go to a lot of social events. And if there's another person who's working on themselves you'll almost kind of know when you're speaking to them.
    Trust me if you get the "wow I'd like to be friends with this person" feeling when you watch these videos, you'll also get that feeling when you meet people like this in real life - and then you'll finally have somebody to talk about therapy books with :P

  • @lightgrey5365
    @lightgrey5365 Před rokem +1

    This is the talk I needed. Made me realize that I come out not as bad or toxic per se, but as demanding and unapproachable. I should give up on many things and accept others.

  • @amy-lyne
    @amy-lyne Před rokem +3

    I read in an article somewhere that it takes 40 to 60 hours of time together to form a casual friendship, 80 to 100 hours for a genuine friend, and 200+ hours for a best friend. And of course, the time spent together needs to be present, intentional, and meaningful. Makes sense that the best friendships are like a good slow brew stew. Not your instant microwaved meal lol. Great video! I'll have to find the original source for those stats

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      This is fascinating, Amy! Thank you for sharing - makes a lot of sense to me, do you reckon that a few particularly ‘hyper-present’ experiences over a long-calendar period could shorten the ‘genuine friend’ curve? 🤔

    • @amy-lyne
      @amy-lyne Před rokem +2

      @jordanthornton gotta be some other factors thrown in the mix hahaha I've spent plenty of hours with coworkers I would never call friends. I'm sure levels of maturity, "hyper-focused" time, and some secret sauce of "we just click" are a part of the friendship formula 👌

    • @ayumelove
      @ayumelove Před 7 měsíci

      @@jordanthornton I would think so. Just how people liken going to a Vipassana retreat and doing 10 hours a day of silence meditation for 10 days in a row - is stronger than meditating 1 hour a day for a whole year.

  • @m.e.drayer1825
    @m.e.drayer1825 Před rokem +3

    Thank you for this. The videos in which you share a little of your own life experience are especially effective, I think. The last part about the necessity of putting oneself out in the world is so important, but extraordinarily challenging for those of us who are terrified of rejection in any form. It's safer to remain invisible, but it certainly limits one's ability to find the kinds of connections with others that make life meaningful.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Yes, I often try to 'get myself out of the story' when making heavier videos, but this topic felt right to share more personal life. Thanks for taking the time to comment and good luck with your next steps in friendship.

  • @FrisbeeGirl
    @FrisbeeGirl Před rokem +1

    At 1:23 of this and I honestly felt as though this is the first time I've heard my personal, intimate [both platonic and romantic] relationship criteria so clearly articulated. As a highly extroverted professional who deals with heavily personal matters and is a happily private introvert personally by nature, cultivating nourishing friendships is a bit of a task in that I am the quintessential slow burn. I do not especially mind that until it's pointed out, in that it seems to be more of a problem for others than for myself. Covid and a number of other events here in the US not only allowed for a great deal of cherished space, it also allowed many people to self-select themselves out of my life for any number of reasons, usually it was a lack of fundamental alignment.
    I wondered at first at why I felt more relief than grief until I listened to a childhood friend share what I'll call her interpretation of me. While her perceptions weren't negative in any way, they simply could not have been more far from the truth. I have rarely felt so "unseen". I had to take a step back. My first response to her was to tell her I wasn't the person, thus friend, she thought I was. That was not received well. I think it was the first time I was forced to understand and claim responsibility for the fact that a lack of authenticity on my part resulted in the unintentional construction of a lie. The lie of a person who allowed others to fill in the blank spaces of my compartmentalized glimpses with their own ideas instead of being clear about who I am. A lie tht has the power to break people's hearts and upset their sense of trust.
    This gave me a much needed sense of clarity that I really, *really* need today. The work has been *HARD AF* these last few weeks and this was a welcome breath of oxygen. I cannot thank you enough for the work you do and share.

  • @JennyBesserit
    @JennyBesserit Před rokem +1

    I liked hearing your personal perspective on this. I think probably a lot of us struggle with this to some degree.

  • @dogsleddinginiowa
    @dogsleddinginiowa Před rokem +1

    Beautiful video, Jordan. Probably my favorite to date. Enjoyed hearing about your roadtrip and the process of getting there. Looking forward to watching it again. I really needed to hear this message. Thank you!

    • @dogsleddinginiowa
      @dogsleddinginiowa Před rokem

      Watched the video, got some yogurt, and watched it again!

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      What a compliment - happy to have been supportive during yogurt time hahah

    • @dogsleddinginiowa
      @dogsleddinginiowa Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton In full disclosure, eating yogurt was a proxy for telling a charming young woman that I am not ready to go on a date, which we had scheduled for this weekend. I literally had that conversation between watching this video the 1st and 2nd time. And also had yogurt.

  • @Eric-tj3tg
    @Eric-tj3tg Před rokem +1

    Appreciate you sharing, and happy for you in your found, deeper friendship.
    Man, I was the guy you've described having been, and still kind of, am. Most longest best friend, during our final 5-years, he kept saying, "I don't want to be using you as my therapist." I kept reminding him that our paths seemed to have great overlap. I eventually realized that I couldn't be heard by him, and then I became resentful. I feel like I've pulled a 180, and I will NOT be therapist to "the world", aside from my obvious lack of qualifications...educated and well-read, yes. But that's not nearly enough.
    I now am left, it seems, with nothing to give...too deep as you described yourself to have been for some time.
    Needing, and "connection" is the likely, yet most obscure of needs for the attachment challenged due to early mayhem. My former Bioenergetic Therapist kept bringing me back to this, and it is a natural need, yet chopped off from awareness, yet somatically, it remains.
    Perhaps what you've modeled herein is a reasonable relational aspiration? For now, I'm ineligible for coaching and/or friendship 😅.
    Thanks for the video, Jordan.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Some genuine reflections here, I’m sure somebody will benefit from reading your thoughts today - thank you, Eric.

  • @bryce8793
    @bryce8793 Před rokem

    all of what you talk about is so damn relatable to me, it seems mad to me that anyone would want anything other than a few deeply conscious friendships instead of a bunch of surface level unconscious ppl around them
    Ive been there at school and in various workplaces, and trying to contort yourself to fit in with a group of unconscious people and a deeply flawed culture
    I can only be friends with people who can stand outside of the culture and see it for what is is.
    Most people have been bent so out of shape by society's pliers and most may never find their lost authenticity in this life
    Its literally all an energetic thing, ive had people i have just met and within the first 10 mins of talking they are trauma dumping on me,
    I can easily make deep connections with anyone, but the trick is to find the select few who can actually reciprocate your energy instead of taking and i agree with you its rare although so rewarding when you find that
    And my problem now since ive moved out of home and im staying at hostels is that i keep on accidentally making deep connections and then these people think im their friend, i am trying to keep to myself but whenever i talk to people it feels like i can meet them deeply pretty quickly and then all of a sudden ive got like 10 people in the hostel who think im their best buddy. I am trying to keep to myself
    Also im coming out of the phase you were in. I always used to go so deep in conversations so quickly and ive realized recently thats just socially immature. Now i embrace the most surface level things in conversation and things are going alot better for me
    and the etymology of the word 'weird' means to be in control of ones destiny, so i dont know why it has a bad connatation to it. Embrace your individuality
    And i think that 'normal' is a myth, like there's literally no such baseline as being normal. It seems like the normal that is talked about is a mixture of being neurotic, insecure, emotionally underdeveloped, and unfulfilled
    You should read 'The Myth Of Normal' by Gabor Mate if you haven't already

  • @vinzkyvijayaraj4035
    @vinzkyvijayaraj4035 Před rokem

    Thank you, this resonates in several ways. It's somehow always comforting to hear that you are not a weirdo 😋.
    Rather be a really good friend to few than a bad friend to many.

  • @shadowsisterhealing
    @shadowsisterhealing Před rokem

    Well done Jordan as introvert talking with flow style into this subject so smoohtly 😎 Honesty, authenticity and being passionate about what you do is very important in my friendships. Also willing to try new things and always keep learning. Life gets really easier when you know to set healthy boundaries and I am still learning to express my needs better. Saying no its easier remembering that when i have to say no I say yes for myself and to the values, agreements and desires I wanna keep honoring. I am clearly extrovert person so I have to consciously pay attention that i am not taking too much space away from others and listen too really not needing always to respond my opinions but just to learn connect and understand what is the experience of another person. I also like people who are reading books. My best friend in Finland has way more bigger library I ever have and she is godmother of my son gifting him always with the best books too! My moon sign is in aries so I like to think that makes me a bit intense person as well psyche in scorpio. But I also have learned I cant dim my gemini sun light to please others too much. I hsve ended like a doormat when people have taken my kindness as a weakness. I think that Choose people who choose u is the simplest formula to find alignment in friendships. I msde today big step in my journey! I made first tiktok video. That was so much out my comfort zone but i did it 🦄 thanks again for your video 🙏

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Honesty, authenticity and passion are truly important, exactly. Happy to hear of your recent success too!

  • @dianaalexa8055
    @dianaalexa8055 Před rokem

    Amazing video! Thank you so much for creating this content, makes you feel less alone in the world

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      That’s one of my intentions. Hard to find quality material on some of these issues - here to help 🌲

  • @krjudit
    @krjudit Před rokem +3

    Thank you, unexpectedly, I feel after listening to this like I am doing okay 😄

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Great to see you here, Judit. Wishing you my best!

  • @gailaltschwager7377
    @gailaltschwager7377 Před rokem +1

    Thank you, Jordan! ❤

  • @user-cs4rf5bx8m
    @user-cs4rf5bx8m Před rokem +2

    Beautiful. This was wholesome and beautiful ❤🎉

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Happy to be here - thanks for taking the time to comment!

  • @carlorizzo827
    @carlorizzo827 Před rokem

    Moving, thank you. I'm grieving losses now, trying to be a good sport. So watching this revived sadness. The human condition, we're born in pain, live in fear, die alone. I'm blessed w/friends. Total failure in the romantic. Can't have it all

  • @jonnywhite6541
    @jonnywhite6541 Před rokem

    Thank You Jordan!❤️🌲

  • @olaolanre
    @olaolanre Před rokem

    I completely understand the idea of going into deep conversations too early. Mostly because i sometimes get bored with the surface conversations as well. I also understand the idea of allowing time and space for friendship to blossom, considering the fact thay it takes time for me to warm up to people as well. Thanks Jordan for this video, it really resonated with me. For a while there it felt as if you were explaining my own exact personality to me 😂, the idea of needing space to just be by yourself after a work week, wanting to go into deep philosophical discussions too soon thats just me a card carrying menber of the introverts club

  • @josephang9927
    @josephang9927 Před rokem +1

    I don't think I ever had true friends. They all forgot about me after college or school. But I want to have closer people and I think I can improve that in me.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      If it's an intention, you'll likely get there. Keep at it.

  • @rayster025
    @rayster025 Před rokem

    "Divine timing" Jordan, this is the video I asked up a few months ago. I'm actually in the moment now of visiting an art museum and see it from there if I'm going to sign up for a Yoga or Art Class. lol. So signup for private mentorship got it! lol
    Cheers!

  • @alexismiller1
    @alexismiller1 Před rokem +1

    I like your videos. They make me think about things

  • @marcelaniz1745
    @marcelaniz1745 Před 6 měsíci

    take the conversations to deeper zones hahaha...people have come to avoid me for that😂 I'm learning to do the social chat and still being my authentic self, humour is a blessing for that (and for the inner talk to😁)

  • @theo8261
    @theo8261 Před rokem

    Very helpful video. Being unapologetically yourself!

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Glad it was helpful! Wishing you well with your friendships!

  • @adevarulcaredoare
    @adevarulcaredoare Před rokem +2

    I'm happy you exist

  • @justinmorgan8215
    @justinmorgan8215 Před rokem

    I adore you. Much gratitude.

  • @gitu_tg
    @gitu_tg Před rokem +1

    wow! 😃 Thank you 🙏🏽👍

  • @williamsilva5701
    @williamsilva5701 Před rokem +2

    I got lost there. At the same you’re saying I can be a prick and not have some many friends you say that real friends are hard to find…

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Real friends are certainly hard to find, but the search is made easier when we are more likeable people. I've been there for sure - many unlikeable qualities previously - and I've seen how things get easier as we become better - hope this helps!

  • @bryce8793
    @bryce8793 Před rokem

    you can only meet others as deeply as youve met yourself

  • @dianevierra781
    @dianevierra781 Před rokem

    good job on the video. (i may add more later)

  • @Nancy-tr5fi
    @Nancy-tr5fi Před 10 měsíci +1

    How would you approach someone like me who has outlived my friends? There are 2 left, neither where I live. I got started in life early and graduated from university much younger so it was a pattern repeated and I never thought, they will die before me, till it started happening. Meeting people now is overwhelming. Where would people like me begin.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 10 měsíci +1

      I’m sorry to hear this, and I wish you the absolute best - don’t give up 🌲

  • @mohibquadri4053
    @mohibquadri4053 Před rokem

    How to throw out loser people from life & attract only valuable friends who have positive mindset ? Any top books suggestions to read for on this topic..

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Will make a video on this when I can - in the meantime, you don't need a book. Live by higher values and have high standards.

  • @maisierawlinson_
    @maisierawlinson_ Před rokem

    Hello, I'd love for you to speak into the unconscious psychological structure of the empathic white knight syndrome/rescuer complex and more specifically, how to illuminate the deep roots of where this is presenting itself from (needs being met?) - I've been aware of this part of me for a long time, and have done much work to get to a point where it doesn't show up much anymore/holding a large degree of awareness to catch it quickly when it is present - yet I recently have found myself feeling deeply rejected (aware that this is deep wound) with some specific occasions when my more intimate friends decline offers of support. The deep somatic sense of rejection is the clue that this is tethered to something at the core and not a rational response to what is in my present, I'd love some insight and actionables if possible? thank you so much x

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Great to finally see that question over here, Maisie. Screenshotted - will do my best! In the meantime, take a look into the dynamic of fixing others to fix yourself / helping others to help yourself. The dynamics often lead back into something like 'defensive overgiving' (to help us feel safe) - hope this helps, will make a full video when I can!

    • @maisierawlinson_
      @maisierawlinson_ Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton hilariously, this is not the original question - the original question related to erotic transference OUTSIDE therapeutic relationships and again, the unconscious psychological architecture of those roots of projection. However, when I went to post under the vid (projection) I found that you had covered the a good chunk of my question, enough to lead to me to the right books and resources and insights for myself! The erotic transference and white knight syndrome question do have one thing in common though, the DEEP seated compelling need to be CHOSEN. Interesting times, thank you so much for your response! Will look into those fo' sure :)

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      @@maisierawlinson_ You got this, strong intuitive self-guidance!

  • @connorgraves2892
    @connorgraves2892 Před 5 měsíci

    Unsure whether this is relevant to the video, but I am someone that actively avoids and rejects meaningful friendships with others and prefers to remain at the base level with everyone. I think this is due to a fear of rejection as in my childhood/teens I experienced lots of rejection from peers. For this reason, I spend much of my time alone which causes feelings of depression and worthlessness. How would you suggest I heal this? Is there any methods to improve my attitude regarding building and maintaining friendships? If you’re reading this comment, please feel free to reply with feedback. It would be greatly appreciated.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 5 měsíci

      Inner teenager work, seriously. I released a video on inner child healing 0-18 a few weeks ago, and it will help massively. Good luck, and thanks for sharing.

  • @annaceliaramirez8558
    @annaceliaramirez8558 Před rokem +1

    How can we live or integrate our animal? Does this require universal or more personalized actions?
    Thank you for all you do:)

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      I'm not sure I understand your question, unfortunately! Would you be able to rephrase this? Wishing you the best.

    • @annaceliaramirez8558
      @annaceliaramirez8558 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton Carl Jung has spoken about the importance of living out the animal in ourselves. I was wondering if you had done any research this topic.
      He specifically mentions this in his Red Book but he does not give any specific steps on how to integrate it.
      I apologize if it is still confusing to understand the question.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      @@annaceliaramirez8558 Gotcha, understood! Screenshotted and will do my best when I can!

    • @annaceliaramirez8558
      @annaceliaramirez8558 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton truly appreciate it. I know it’s not easy but I haven’t seen a lot of content on this topic

  • @Elvira239
    @Elvira239 Před rokem +3

    Feels so healing to even listen to a story about conscious friendship. It makes me feel it exists.Thank you for sharing.
    In my case, I am a compulsive over-giver, who completely identifies as the therapist friend. I am also extraverted to a fault. So I always had an aggressive amount of 'friends' in my life, but also this deep cutting sense of loneliness.
    I resonated so much with that part of "friends who don't make you work for free". I don't think I have any. It's a painful realization to see how many people were only in my life for what I give to them. And to admit that I was the one who created this dynamic because I never give anyone an opportunity to show up for me. Because of the complexity of my issues, most people around me simply do not have the capacity to do that.
    Anyway, thank you for finding a way to be present even here in the comment section. It truly means the world to me. I do not have much of support in my life but I'm getting so much better at finding it. And I imagine in my case that's how healing looks like.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +3

      That moment of realising that you 'never give anyone an opportunity to show up for me' is critical. It took me years to figure that one out and dissolve the people pleasing / over giving, bravo!

  • @user-eb7dd8xv5h
    @user-eb7dd8xv5h Před 11 měsíci

  • @criticalthinker72
    @criticalthinker72 Před 11 měsíci

    Problem number one there is no normal!

  • @dakanders
    @dakanders Před rokem

    We Need a website…

  • @ayumelove
    @ayumelove Před 7 měsíci

    bloody hell its hard to tryna be this guys friend 🤣. Some chords def hit deep with this one. Maybe i am just a cunt. There is a beauty in the dance of small talk too.

  • @rshicks256
    @rshicks256 Před rokem

    +1

  • @MariaM-qq6kv
    @MariaM-qq6kv Před 11 měsíci

    INFJ vibes

  • @ianmasinde7781
    @ianmasinde7781 Před 8 měsíci

    are you INTJ?

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 8 měsíci

      Had that sometimes before, more often INFJ though - for what it’s worth

  • @robertst.julian8265
    @robertst.julian8265 Před rokem +1

    May God continue to Bless you and the important Love/work/share that you give so generously here. 🫧🕊💗🕊🫧
    I enjoy your heart felt shares here. I have always been a very sensitive Man with very few friends & a deep connection
    with those who matter. But most of all I enjoy my own company, with my Lord & our God. Life is too valuable not the
    share our Love & connection along the way. 🫧🕊💗🕊🫧. ❤🇨🇦❤

  • @feelthepeace
    @feelthepeace Před 9 dny

    16:59 anyone who knows you would not BE talking to you - during your workout and/or taking that time up for 'free' - right? I'm confused...
    I share a lot with you regarding my introverted, self-aware, self-evaluating personality ... and as amazing as it would be to actually cross paths with a handful of people (even one tbh) that were in alignment with my own interests/values at my gym - I can not see them acting without that basic consideration for me, the situation; I'm in the middle of a workout - a physically exerting action that requires my full concentration. Even if they need me to let them jump in for a set/share the station ... there's certainly an opportune moment over mid- exercise and workout.
    Myself I would have a sense of real self-centeredness or selfishness to disregard what is occurring in such a scenario. I would choose to be more considerate in such a case.
    I enjoy your videos. They are very helpful. ... working my way out of 'hermit mode'. Thank you so much!
    Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. 🕊 🫶 💪 🪷