I Love You- Spoken Word

The first time I let you go,
I let your leaf fall from my tree.
I let your soul seep from my veins.
I let your heart break me.
Yeah, I knew you'd been talking to her.
I knew you fancied her.
I knew she was older than me,
More experienced than me,
Prettier than me,
Thinner than me.
I knew you wanter her more than you ever wanted me.
So I let you go.
I drove by your house with our song drowning out the sound of the engine,
But I let you go.
I whispered your name in my sleep because you were the only one that I ever dreamed of,
But I let you go.
I saw you around town and maybe I followed your ghost around,
But I let you go.
I thought of you, but never admitted it because I let you go.
When my friends asked me who I liked I had to bite off my tongue and swallow it so I wouldn't scream your name because I let you go.
And when we started talking again I still tore the wallpaper from the walls of my wrists, but I was happy.
I waited for your messages, I healed my breath until the next time I saw your smile.
But We were just friends.
I led you around town and we read old post cards at the antique store and every romantic note reminded me of you.
But we were just friends.
We sat in my car listening to music while I drew prisms and rainbows in the condensation on the windshield because I was afraid that if I drew hearts it would be too obvious.
We were just friends.
And Then there was that boy who tried his luck with me, but decided that he liked boys more.
You were my friend then.
And that girl you kissed in the bowling alley had no idea that you'd break her heart
Even though we were just friends.
When I was too afraid to put the bullet through my skull I thought that there must be a reason my finger breaks every time I pull the trigger,
But we were just friends.
The next day I met you at the ice rink because you always had an ear and a cold heart for my pain.
We went back to your place and drowned until there were no thoughts flowing through our heads.
And you said "I Love You." and I said "I love you too."
When I broke down in tears I knew it was true.
You held me closer than my ribs hold my lungs.
Your breath was mine, the smoke in my throat erased.
And when we kissed my mind went out. I could think of nothing other than how I wanted to be your ocean.
I wanted you too dive into my veins.
I wanted you to slay my demons.
I wanted you to travel my railroad spine.
I wanted you to be my ship's lighthouse.
I wanted you and I finally had you.