I was not magnificent.

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  • čas přidán 29. 12. 2017
  • Trigger Warning!
    “There’s no thin enough. It doesn’t exist”
    Once again I'm on the verge of complete paranoia. These once are so hard to upload and I regret it each time, lol. Even tho these edits are a shit ton of work and really painful and honest, I hope they can make at least a tiny difference for some.
    Maybe give some insight for those who find it hard to understand or maybe a "out of yourself" / "looking at things from a diffrent point of view" type thing for those who can relate.
    But it might also not make any sense...since my mind tend to be pretty messy.
  • Krátké a kreslené filmy

Komentáře • 360

  • @tigerclements5731
    @tigerclements5731 Před 6 lety +886

    I wish I was skinny maybe then someone would realise im not okay

  • @kookieseuphoricflower8411
    @kookieseuphoricflower8411 Před 5 lety +640

    Society: Be yourself!
    Society five seconds later: not like that! Fix yourself!

  • @xtonibx5770
    @xtonibx5770 Před 5 lety +665

    Sometimes I hold a granola bar in my hand just to not eat it. I like surrounding myself with food just to not eat it.
    And suddenly, I like being hungry. I feel like when I'm hungry and I don't eat, then I'm finally doing something right.
    It started off with cutting calories, now I'm afraid of them.
    I'm not thin enough to be anorexic. I'm not hungry. And I'm fine.

    • @noramurphy4027
      @noramurphy4027 Před 5 lety +21

      Please get help

    • @emmastone8779
      @emmastone8779 Před 5 lety +5

      Arianna Heart same here..

    • @oliviaadams3706
      @oliviaadams3706 Před 5 lety +3

      i hope u feel better no one should feel like this

    • @miraclegoddess6627
      @miraclegoddess6627 Před 5 lety +22

      You don’t need to be thin to be anorexic

    • @katehazelwood3044
      @katehazelwood3044 Před 5 lety +20

      Reading this, I started crying. Me too. There’s something comforting about hunger. And I know I’m losing weight and I know it’s unhealthy but a part of me doesn’t care anymore. I hope you can get better. I hope I can too.

  • @fransavin9820
    @fransavin9820 Před 5 lety +211

    I have not a problem with food , i have a problem with me... i'm the problem

  • @sabinakrpata7155
    @sabinakrpata7155 Před 6 lety +418

    “It’s about pain. What you crave.. is the numbing of the thing you don’t wanna feel.”
    Why is that so right 💔 (1:05)

  • @peach3987
    @peach3987 Před 5 lety +73

    finally someone who dosen’t use “skinny love” or the same “sad song” that everyone uses

  • @eviemaysellars
    @eviemaysellars Před 6 lety +675

    I bloody love how real your edits are, thank you for this.

    • @brokenCrown
      @brokenCrown Před 6 lety +8

      evie may sellars it gets me right in the feels everytime

  • @_editaddict
    @_editaddict Před rokem +20

    I watch this edit very often. It really helps me feel less alone. I know it word by word now, so when I watch it, I can scream and cry with the voiceovers and it feels incredibly freeing. Thank you so much for this art!

  • @tessalislet1437
    @tessalislet1437 Před 6 lety +293

    Actually, it's christmas and new year, for me who have a eating disorder, it's the worse period of the years. My family, make a lot of food obviously and they don't even know that i struggling with food so i have to binge eating in front of them (but purge all the night obviously) and they goes like "Yeah, eat, you're way too skinny." Sometimes, some friends bodyshaming me because i'm too thin, and i know that on of them suspect my disorder and because of that i'm too scared to tell them the truth or maybe i'm too scared to admit that i have a eating disorder. Yours videos are perfect, thx for all your work i wish you a happy new year. Love from France❤

    • @elizabethroldandelgado4613
      @elizabethroldandelgado4613 Před 6 lety +1

      A.R.M.Y ❤

    • @cinnamongirl9779
      @cinnamongirl9779 Před 6 lety +1

      Army 💖 I love you and I hope you seek recovery someday ♡

    • @verdandin
      @verdandin Před 6 lety +3

      I feel the same everyday, it's a struggle. They say that I’m skinny and then binge on the Christmas and family dinners, but after I always purge. Everyday is hell

    • @ttkb5531
      @ttkb5531 Před 6 lety +1

      Heyyy ARMY💜 you are beautiful as you are please be healthy😃💜

    • @evieachtelik
      @evieachtelik Před 5 lety

      I'm struggling as well. It's my first Christmas with an eating disorder, and I'm literally terrified.

  • @Ardyn02
    @Ardyn02 Před 5 lety +17

    the dance academy scenes hit me hard, ive seen that show so many times and are connected to those people

  • @janayamber9706
    @janayamber9706 Před 6 lety +148

    People who make these videos need to start putting help lines in the description

  • @cinnamongirl9779
    @cinnamongirl9779 Před 5 lety +7

    I hate that I heavily restrict and lose 5 lbs then go back to eating normally aka binging. Then I get so upset with myself and start going into a b/p phase and gain back the 5 - 10 lbs. Then the same cycle over and over again. People will never notice I have a problem because I’m constantly stuck losing the same 5 - 10 lbs and I have a healthy weight. I don’t think I deserve help because I’m not underweight. It’s honestly so mentally and physically draining. I’m sick of it.

  • @seriannarockswold8391
    @seriannarockswold8391 Před 6 lety +93

    I'm literally crying so hard rn. I'm never going to get better

    • @sweetpea0746
      @sweetpea0746 Před 6 lety +3

      Yes you will. Recovery is a possibility. I didn't think it was during the 6 years I suffered. But I found normalcy again. If you wanna talk I'm here.

    • @hannahwilliams5681
      @hannahwilliams5681 Před 6 lety

      You can.

    • @chelseachristie8580
      @chelseachristie8580 Před 5 lety

      Serianna Rockswold 90% of people watching this video and who have commented are all going through something similar we can all get through this we just have to believe in our selves xx

    • @Kukuyoutube9
      @Kukuyoutube9 Před 5 lety

      If you'd bever want to hear this same thing from your loved one you probably shouldn't tell it to yourself as well.

    • @tylerandjsh1873
      @tylerandjsh1873 Před 5 lety +1

      same.

  • @Haileykcomet
    @Haileykcomet Před 6 lety +36

    The fact that I’m going through something similar and this popped up just like thank you. This is so emotionally beautiful

  • @user-ez6pn
    @user-ez6pn Před 6 lety +71

    wow this is beautiful. i also cannot believe the quality of the clips. you work so hard but the result gives me shivers. i feel so touched from your heart to mine. thank you so much

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  Před 6 lety +1

      i get shivers from reading this. thank you.

    • @user-ez6pn
      @user-ez6pn Před 6 lety

      AHHHHHH I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR REPLYING OMG

  • @aldcravens
    @aldcravens Před 6 lety +23

    So raw and real. It makes me feel more understood in a way💜

  • @jordanallen5653
    @jordanallen5653 Před 6 lety +7

    scarily accurate, and that's so damn depressing but it's true. i hate this disorder, but despite making me cry everytime i watch them, videos like these make me feel less alone in this isolating hellscape

  • @Jelieb
    @Jelieb Před 6 lety +217

    This is amazing, probably the best video of yours. I know its hard to share these because they're so personal but thank you for posting these videos, they mean a lot to a lot of people. What are the different movies/series used in this?

  • @strangerpotter4182
    @strangerpotter4182 Před 5 lety +5

    It’s nice to cry sometimes and vent to such an amazing and real edit 😔❤️

  • @tanjak1877
    @tanjak1877 Před rokem +7

    Thank you for making this, I feel understood and seen 🥺

  • @recklesswanderess.5741

    I relate so much to this oh my goodness this is so wonderfully done I... I have chills. Thank you again for making such a powerful video for such an underrated and ignored topic. All of the footage you’ve used is perfect.

  • @Julianajolie1
    @Julianajolie1 Před 6 lety +10

    your videos always make me feel less alone in this

  • @o0Basti0o
    @o0Basti0o Před 6 lety +24

    As always im in Love with your video. I wish you an amazing start in the new year.

  • @ch5635
    @ch5635 Před 6 lety +3

    This... this hurt. That song (already so emotional on its own!) + this subject cut so deep, but this was really well done. I appreciate the focus less on food/image itself in favor of self worth and CONTROL as the catalysts. It felt much more real and tangible to me than videos I have seen about ED in the past.

  • @AnnaM99
    @AnnaM99 Před 6 lety +5

    This was SO good!!!! and heartbreaking and REAL. also i love you for using neon demon and to the bone !!!

  • @GlowingAprilSky
    @GlowingAprilSky Před 6 lety +99

    wow this is prob the best video regarding this topic. As i don't have eating disorder, and this is the first time that i completely -ish understood it through video. As it has some points that other videos don't show. It is very personal and emotional, and just amazing. Thank you for sharing.

  • @montgomerymulti3594
    @montgomerymulti3594 Před 6 lety +10

    I cried for so long after watching this it’s so good xx

  • @lavhayez
    @lavhayez Před 6 lety

    This is incredible. I think this is the first edit I've seen that really focuses on how eating disorders aren't entirely about the weight. I feel like I can relate to this so much more than videos about people wanting to be thin to fit in or whatever and I really appreciate it.

  • @izzyread1107
    @izzyread1107 Před 6 lety +2

    I have watched your edits so many times and sometimes they are the only things that make me feel less alone 💗 thanks for uploading them in spite of how nervous it makes you feel. If you get the chance you should watch overshadowed, a tv show on bbc about a girl developing anorexia x

  • @justanothergaygenz
    @justanothergaygenz Před 6 lety +5

    sharing the secret is my favourite and i like that it was used throughout this edit

  • @amin6890
    @amin6890 Před 4 lety +3

    i’m balling my eyes crying rn and i can’t stop

  • @celesteodair1834
    @celesteodair1834 Před 6 lety

    this is so emotional and amazing, this is perfect !

  • @fandomsandfiction_
    @fandomsandfiction_ Před 6 lety +1

    love this. It's so sad how many people suffer like this.

  • @eelisabeth100
    @eelisabeth100 Před 6 lety

    speechless, amazing and emotionally edit

  • @BarbaraMadimenos
    @BarbaraMadimenos Před 6 lety

    This gave me chills and flashbacks to my inpatient days.
    I hope when people watch this, they realize eating disorders are lethal illnesses.
    I hope the day comes that I can watch this and say they are feelings of the past, but until then, these images are moments of the present.

  • @alexandra-sc4vm
    @alexandra-sc4vm Před 5 lety +2

    omg sorry if those comments were annoying sjsjsjjs. i wanted to respond back to some of the shows/movies so you didn’t have to. this is amazing by the way. i watch it everyday and it really reflects what i’m dealing with. amazing job ❤️❤️

  • @jordanallen5653
    @jordanallen5653 Před 6 lety

    i watch this at least once a week and it still gets me tearing up every. single. time

  • @simsterlife5123
    @simsterlife5123 Před 5 lety

    This is the best edit I have ever seen. Well done

  • @Laura-tf2pl
    @Laura-tf2pl Před 6 lety

    I really love it . It's so beautifully made❤❤

  • @DCA-xs7rp
    @DCA-xs7rp Před 5 lety

    this deservse more. the editing is sooo good

  • @Whatever-bs3kq
    @Whatever-bs3kq Před 6 lety +3

    Just watching it after a binge. Oh god I’m so miserable I don’t know how to get back on track, I don’t even know if it makes sense anymore

  • @hannahlovatox
    @hannahlovatox Před 6 lety +1

    this hit me hard. i’m speechless.

  • @Teag554
    @Teag554 Před 5 lety +2

    I’m recovering from an Ed rn and this just broke me down in tears, I related to this on multiple levels 💔

  • @npl5160
    @npl5160 Před 4 lety

    i feel this in my soul. i was a lot bigger my freshman year of high school (2016) and was bullied for it constantly. so much that i decided i didn’t wanna feel like that ever again. i ended up switching schools, but over time i lost tons of weight. it definitely feels very often like becoming skinny will fix every problem i have, and to some degree...it did. i still see my classmates from my old school frequently (especially in summer) and when they saw how i looked, their attention towards me was completely different. they told me how pretty i had gotten over winter and that they wanted to hang out with me more. it just motivates me to keep going, i guess. idk. i know it’s not the best way to think, but i was just so tired of being emotionally tortured for my physical appearance, and if i’m being completely honest, it was refreshing to actually be “wanted” for a change...😔

  • @satellitedude8943
    @satellitedude8943 Před 5 lety

    Jesus, every time I watch one of your videos on this subject (I have dx AN) I'm shocked by how completely accurate it is. It's like someone has pulled out my brain and put it into a video. It makes it a little more real in my world, seeing it like that, it takes it out of me a little bit and turns it into something tangible... Because it's easy to forget the ED is really a problem and not just how you are... Idk I'm struggling to express what I mean here...

  • @noraconstant8225
    @noraconstant8225 Před 5 lety +1

    This was beautifully made

  • @tacos_are_life_and_im_tras7091

    This gave me chills i relate to a lot of these

  • @lizros18
    @lizros18 Před 6 lety +72

    This so so sad and gorgeous

  • @hollyx6371
    @hollyx6371 Před 4 lety +1

    Heartbreakingly relatable.

  • @xBenQCatx
    @xBenQCatx Před 6 lety

    Stunning work!

  • @JangmiiRosee
    @JangmiiRosee Před 4 lety +1

    I can't stop, and nobody helps. People either encourage it, ignore it, or say "just eat" . What am I supposed to do?

  • @hannahwilliams5681
    @hannahwilliams5681 Před 6 lety

    This is real. I remember trying to find videos that depicted them when I was going through it and I couldn't. That was a long time ago, but I still struggle sometimes, especially with the thoughts and it's hard because I've become overweight thanks to my thyroid and making up for all that time being miserable. I don't know how to find the balance and I'm miserable.

  • @magdalenaholzer4858
    @magdalenaholzer4858 Před 5 lety

    Just thank you for that!❤️

  • @QueenOfVampires
    @QueenOfVampires Před 6 lety

    Amazing as always

  • @melissahinckley2407
    @melissahinckley2407 Před 6 lety

    This video was so good 😌💜

  • @sofiemendoza8228
    @sofiemendoza8228 Před 6 lety

    this is beautiful..I love all your work so much 💗

  • @ClonesandGuns
    @ClonesandGuns Před 6 lety

    Aaand... I'm dead.. A M A Z I N G thank you ♥

  • @juliasanders3899
    @juliasanders3899 Před rokem +3

    There all so beautiful i wish i was that thin😢

  • @bellasecretsify
    @bellasecretsify Před 6 lety +2

    What they teach you in recovery in three minutes or less. ❤

  • @cambi2797
    @cambi2797 Před 5 lety +3

    I’m not thin enough to be noticed

  • @paulal.6944
    @paulal.6944 Před 5 lety +1

    Really nice edit. I thought maybe you could put some Addresses or phone numbers where to get help in the description next time. I just think it would help some people. Lots of love 💕

  • @marleneschult8386
    @marleneschult8386 Před 6 lety

    This is so Good 😍THX

  • @crazimuch957
    @crazimuch957 Před 5 lety +18

    Can I ask what all the clips are from? I recognize some like skins, glee, feed, but there are many I don't recognize.

  • @strawberyyy9454
    @strawberyyy9454 Před 5 lety +2

    I’ve always been told I’m fat or I eat to much, my parents even say it but they say it in different ways..I feel so uncomfortable when I wear a bikini I can’t stop eating....it makes me scared I’m never going to be skinny like my friends, pretty like my friends, their smiles are so beautiful than mine, I have no one to help me...

  • @carmitrose1818
    @carmitrose1818 Před 6 lety +3

    OMG i'm feeling really bad Watching This God Bless This Girls Fight for Your happiness You Don't need cry Food is Life I'm From Brazil XOXO 😍😍😘

  • @ramen4280
    @ramen4280 Před 5 lety +4

    My friend thinks i have anorexia. I do, but she always takes it as a joke and even i joke about it. when i skip meals she jokingly says “Oh u tryna be losing weight here?” BUT WHAT I CANT SAY IS THAT ITS NOT ALL ABOUT GETTING THINNER! ITS SO MUCH MORE BUT I CANT TELL HER BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW

  • @gintokisstrawberrymilk

    SKAM IS IN HERE, DIDN'T KNOW YOU WOULD PUT IN A NORWEIGIAN SHOW OMG

  • @vividtemptations6564
    @vividtemptations6564 Před 6 lety

    You fuck me up with these videos. You always post them when I'm at that poimt where I just want to give up. And i want to say thank you cause you show me every single fucking time how stupid and self destroying I am. I may owe you my life for those videos, cause damn you get me back to my old self every time.(i already said that but who cares).
    I hope you are doing well. Ly💜

  • @aprilmisc
    @aprilmisc Před 4 lety

    i binged but i counted every bit of calorie.. im getting stuck in this cycle again.. and beginning to get into the mindset that i need to be perfect. i need to be skinny. i need to lose weight, whatever it takes. im getting in a spiral and slowly.. the thought of eating food makes me sick and the mental images of purging fills my mind

  • @wiktoriao9241
    @wiktoriao9241 Před 5 lety

    To everyone who feels like they are not thin enough,
    There is no thin enough, you are not perfect because perfect doesn’t exist. You are beautiful and you don’t need to be thin to prove that. So every time you feel like you are not beautiful enough and there is this voice in your head saying that you are ugly, fat and you need to lose weight, tell that voice that you will not listen to it because you won’t give up on yourself and if you listen to that voice it will destroy you. So please don’t listen to that voice. You are beautiful

  • @real_words_1046
    @real_words_1046 Před 2 lety +6

    i really feel this 2:48

  • @irelandmarkus2696
    @irelandmarkus2696 Před 5 lety +2

    You know your getting worse when you start watching these agian

  • @nojams1368
    @nojams1368 Před 6 lety +21

    Did you delete your sad multifandom video with the song say something?? 😭 It was really nice!!

    • @VEKProduction
      @VEKProduction  Před 6 lety +5

      Nojams I did yes, but I’m thinking of reuploading it since it’s so highly requested. So it’s coming, soon!

    • @nojams1368
      @nojams1368 Před 6 lety +2

      VEKProduction I’ll be looking forward to it!! ^^ ❤️

  • @starlight4013
    @starlight4013 Před 5 lety +3

    It's more why do I eat, binge eat, fill the void

  • @charlottehill15
    @charlottehill15 Před 6 lety

    I know the scenes with the bigger girl are from My Mad Fat Diary which I cannot recommend enough. Heartbreaking TV show. Other things I recognise are 'To the Bone' and 'Feed.' The scenes which seem much less recent due to quality are 'Sharing the Secret' - a film about bulimia. Also very recommended.

  • @zaden-qr5ob
    @zaden-qr5ob Před 6 lety

    This is so masterfully beautiful like always. I don't have a eating disorder, but this video helped me understand just a bit of the pain that they go through, so thank you. Also could anyone tell what show/movie is the girl at 2:53 she got me crying so hard.

  • @alexise5555
    @alexise5555 Před 5 lety

    I get these thoughts in my head telling me not to eat, that I’ll get fat, gain weight, etc.. I try not to listen to them. but sometimes I’ll literally eat one thing a day. the next I eat so much when I’m with friends and I regret it and punish myself by eating so much less the next day. I hate it. I don’t want to develop an eating disorder. I haven’t told anyone about this but I need it out. Im trying.

  • @rowen777
    @rowen777 Před 5 lety +3

    these videos are a try not to relate challenge

  • @nataliesilva6141
    @nataliesilva6141 Před 4 lety

    I wish more TV shows showed that not all people how have eating disorders are skinny and look sick. Some of us are bigger

  • @dxnvers8382
    @dxnvers8382 Před 5 lety +13

    from where is the person saying "I'm curious though, do you think you're fat?"

    • @leenakoponen5156
      @leenakoponen5156 Před 5 lety

      From the movie Sharing the Secret (Alison Lohman plays the main character who has bulimia and it's her therapist says that to her.)

  • @zella3603
    @zella3603 Před 6 lety

    This is beautiful! Where do you find HD versions of movies/TV shows? ❤️

  • @insinityy
    @insinityy Před 5 lety +1

    I only feel skinny when I'm hungry..

  • @lolo-vh6xh
    @lolo-vh6xh Před 4 lety

    Thank you. It helped

  • @stephhernandez8494
    @stephhernandez8494 Před 6 lety +3

    my worst insecurity is my body i hate it and all my friends are perfectly skinny and im just a peice of shit everyone says im not fat but what am i i hate my body its not skinny its a little fat i feel scared going to public places with my friends bc all the guys check out my friends and i feel bad and i get compared to sometimes i get teased and people see me as a brat bc i hate myself but they dont know what it feels i even think about going aneroxic but idk anymore....

  • @emilybluntt4473
    @emilybluntt4473 Před 4 lety +2

    Omg it's Kat from dance academy !!

  • @dogagurbuz8308
    @dogagurbuz8308 Před 6 lety +9

    0:36 i wonder what's the name of this? Is it film or tv serie?

  • @zhafirahkhansa4740
    @zhafirahkhansa4740 Před 6 lety +2

    Why im crying?

  • @connor7514
    @connor7514 Před 4 lety

    Being skinny isnt being happy, starving yourself or throwing up after you eat is worse than anything, accept who you are if it's being overweight or skinny and if you don't like it work hard to be who you want to be don't just sit there and not eat if you're having trouble about this talk to someone, anyone that will care. being skinny isn't being pretty, being you is pretty.

  • @cinnamongirl9779
    @cinnamongirl9779 Před 5 lety

    too relatable

  • @chesterdidzena671
    @chesterdidzena671 Před 4 lety

    Be happy n stop worrying of your beauty u have stop being so hurtful

  • @fervidfountain
    @fervidfountain Před 4 lety

    I'm stuck in a dark place. Eiher I'm starving myself as long as I can, or binging.
    I'm scared of gaining weight, but I don't do enough exercise to compensate for my calories.
    I'm an idiot. I'm legitimately fat. The only reason I eat is because I don't want my family or my partner to worry.
    I just want to be lovely.

  • @foreverjamesarthur1085

    OMG YESSSS A GIRL LIKE HER 😍😍😍😍

  • @Chiisantemmie
    @Chiisantemmie Před 4 lety +2

    Maybe if I was skinny people would actually care about me

  • @julianasucksdong8765
    @julianasucksdong8765 Před 6 lety

    i feel that my family knows i have an ed, but they don’t really give a shit lol. i told my mom about how i want a scale and she points out how i always would get on it to check my weight, and tells me it’s an addiction, of course i denied that it’s an addiction but i genuinely feel that it’s not (probably just my ed talking but yeah) yet still gets me a scale. no clue wtf to do tbh

  • @Craftergirl
    @Craftergirl Před 4 lety

    I relapsed back into my eating disorder

  • @meatballsamwich7127
    @meatballsamwich7127 Před 5 lety

    the red band society

  • @rachelmasonn
    @rachelmasonn Před 6 lety +19

    where is the one with bella thorne from??

  • @sugayoongi2956
    @sugayoongi2956 Před 4 lety +1

    I'm not allowed to watch most of these..my parents know that I just watch this sort of stuff to trigger myself

  • @valerie9906
    @valerie9906 Před 5 lety

    I know some people can’t relate or anything but, whenever I do anything I get called anything, like if I’m scared to go on the roller coaster I’m a baby, if I think I have some extra chub on me, my mom says I’m gorgeous?...

  • @ameliepage7354
    @ameliepage7354 Před 5 lety

    i don’t want to be myself anymore.