Persona 3 Reload First Playthrough ~ Part 14
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- čas přidán 9. 05. 2024
- This VOD covers from 9/4 to 9/18 in game
These streams are broken down from the 12 hour streams I did for my subathon!
Thumbnail Art by @Floralok3: / floralok3
The Full VOD Playlist is here: • Persona 3 Reload First...
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(Sorry for yapping, but watching that I felt a need to show my perspective)
I was always amazed by people who value their life so much. I went from being a bullied kid at primary school to having some good friends in middle school (probably the best time period of my life) to total breakdown in high school to apathy that is with me today. I don't think I have ever felt happy ever since I left middle school (when I look in the mirror, a smile looks really weird on my face). There were moments I was laughing or enjoyed something, but never again felt like life is good. Those moments were mere droplets of joy in a sea of sorrow.
I wouldn't be able to kill myself, since I'm a damn coward, though I wanted to do this multiple times. I wouldn't mind dying. When I was younger, I even thought that might help my family, because we were poor, living in a poor country and without me, parents wouldn't have to spend money on textbooks for school, extra food and electricity I used, especially after my sister was born. Now I know how much funerals cost and I'm not worth that much.
Nowadays, I feel like there are many oportunities to improve my life, but I just don't have a will to do anything. I'm aware of pretty much every problem I have and know how I could try to remedy it, but why would I even attempt that? To discover that no matter how hard I will try and how much I will change my life, it won't make me any happier? When my colleagues invite me to a party, to play volleyball with them or spend Christmas Eve with them, I always decline, since I don't want to ruin the mood and always think it's some kind of charity or pity from them.
I feel like my life has no value for anyone and, when I would die, after an initial shock, everyone would just move on. I'm 27 and if I was to achieve something, find love, have a passion or a job or anything that might give my life meaning, I would already find it. Nothing works and I'm just so tired of bashing my head against the wall. I sometimes don't sleep at night, playing games or writing stories where I could insert myself as a character who has a mission, finds someone special, his life is full. I legit cried when I finished Persona 4 Golden, because these characters for the last 70 hours were my friends and as the protagonist, handsome, talented student with a purpose and a will to fulfill it, I was worthy of them and adored by them.
I don't think of a future. I don't see myself as a father or husband. Many times, I imagined myself dying of cold as a homeless person when I will finally give up on life completely or dying of cancer, not even bothering to start the treatment. I tend to put someone else's interest over myself to feel like I can do something, be useful, no matter how much it hurts me. If I can be useful for someone, at least their lives will improve to some extend. I don't feel insulted or exploited anymore. If something has no value, the value can't decrease.
So, yeah, if someone can't fathom why people would give up on life, I can't understand why people have so much will to live.
You are 27 years old! Your life isn’t even close to being determined.
"why the sad music, why it can't be happy"
Girl this is Persona 3, there's no happiness remember?
17:31 P4G reference spotted
Technically P4 referenced P3 first, but either way it's a cool tie in.
p3re referenced p4g which referenced p3fes, would be even funnier if they remade p4g and added references to p3re LOL
59:05
That Persona 4 reference gave me chills.
Off topic but did Crystal ever see the rest of the Gold Suacer dates in Rebirth?