My 8-Year-Old Saw Her Dad Sexually Assault Me
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- čas přidán 27. 06. 2022
- My 8-Year-Old Saw Her Dad Sexually Assault Me
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My dad was severely bi-polar and he never sexually assaulted anyone. It’s really not right to blame the bi-polar. He was sexually abusive AND bi polar. Those are two separate things
Exactly. There are tons of people with various mental illnesses that dont assault others. It low key comes down to morals and who they are as a person 🤷🏾♀️
Exactly! As a bipolar person ty for saying people label all bad emotions as omg they are bipolar it's bs. They are violent and sexually off it's not the bipolar that causes sexual deviance or violence!
@@tiawarren5403My husband is BP. I think it likely that there are many people out there who have violent urges but keep them in check. I think one of the hazards of BP is it can distort perceptions, distort one's sense of entitlement, and that makes existing violent urges seem justified.
I believe that,too,setter
I am bipolar and would never have sex with anyone that did not want it.
As someone who has witnessed the sexual assault of my own mom at a very young age, I can say that this never goes away. The images, the sounds, please get therapy for your daughter.
I was able to reframe the abuse I witnessed as a child with emdr from my therapist. It really helped and may help you too. it ha lightened my load quite a bit.
She had mentioned halfway through the video that her daughter is in two forms of therapy
Same
Her dad's family is still in her life??? Dad better not be. He needs to be in jail.
The title is enough to make me stop breathing. Jesus Christ have mercy
Please do not blame his disgusting actions in bipolar. Yes our emotions are strong and we can be manic, but we do not sexually abuse. We can control that.
Yeah, I swear some people are just so far gone out of reality that they don't even make sense anymore. There's millions of people who suffer from the exact same disease (if not worse) who would NEVER do something like that and even during a horrible episode. No mental illness just makes you want to sexually abuse someone. The people who do it are just fucked in the head. Not because of they're BPD or something else. EDIT: I do want to say though, mental illness CAN increase those thoughts/feelings, but they don't CREATE them.
Yep! Bipolar here, not violent or a sexual assaulter.
I get sick of people blaming violence on bipolar as though everyone with bipolar are evil abusers . My nephew is bipolar and is fine on medications , but if he is off he cuts himself off and does not communicate . No violence or abuse to anyone . He is not a psychopath or sociopath or narcissist .
Yes, everything now is blamed on mental health issues, you see someone doing something horrible and the first thing people will say is, we can't judge this person may have a mental health problem. Mental health issues MAY play a role and be an explanation for the behavior, but it is not an excuse, and it can't be generalized.
I had a bf who liked to play wrestle. Which was fine for the most part. ( I am playful and generally ok with tickles.) But he would take it to the point that my body would really start to fight him and he could tell when he trigged old trauma responses. He never hurt me and would take it personally that I had that response. As if I could control panic. It was weird because it seemed clear he didn’t actually want to hurt me but he did seem fascinated that he could trigger a trauma response by holding me down. Yeah buddy. Holding a woman down even playfully will cause a response. So glad I got out of that relationship. While he never did hurt me I could tell he liked to trigger me. My husband tried to play wrestle me when we were first married. Noticed it caused a trigger and never did it again because the idea that my body was really panicking was repugnant to him. I trust him completely and my body is never in alarm around him because he has always honored me and my boundaries even if I didn’t even know I needed them.
Oh honey I am sorry that happened to you. And yes he did hurt you. He abused you emotionally and mentally by knowingly triggering you. And then he got made at you for being upset. Yes honey. He abused you.
Oh, that’s beautiful. I’m so happy your husband is your protector 💛
You found a good one honey ❤
I had this similar experience( was originally caused by SA)and for a long time I didn’t understand what was happening. I also have this response if I am blocked in anywhere or trapped. It was hard for me to explain something that I didn’t fully understand myself. I’m grateful, that you shared this. It feels so validating in a way I can’t express. ❤
Me and my girlfriend both love playing around not necessarily wrestling but tickling and playing around. We have a safe word for playing and 100% of the time if she feels overwhelmed whatsoever she says that and everything stops no questions asked. It allows us to both play and she can be comfortable and know she has power over the situation.
I was told the same thing as a child when my dad abused me “he is sick, that’s not your dad” because he was drunk when he did it. The damage that caused me as a child is so deep, deeper than what he actually did to me. Grace if you are reading this please acknowledge your child and her pain and don’t cover it with that sentence that he’s sick.
Fellow Inuyasha fan 👀
I feel your pain. My mother made excuses for my stepfather's sexual abuse of me, and there were no repercussions to him until he gave her a black eye and then she got rid of him.
@@lynnebucher6537u deserved better
Being "sick" is not what the daughter needs to hear. The focus needs to be in her healing and support. I witnessed my father assaulting his GF when I was a pre teen and didn't fully understand what happened (rape)until I was in my early 40s. Statute of limitations is up and it took place in a location I don't recall because we were travelling at the time. Needless it's devastating to go through that and even after years of therapy I still haven't been able to trust enough to get into a LTR. The daughter needs help and will likely need it for the rest of her life.
@@lynnebucher6537I am so sorry that your mother was a selfish failure . I hope that your life has been good without that in your life .
I really like the explanation that he gives that "mental health is a context, not an excuse". That's even a really useful thing to be able to do for regular situations, being able to explain why something happened without trying to excuse it. Context is a really good word to use instead of reason or excuse. " I did this because of this context, which doesn't excuse it, but I just want to be able to explain to you why it happened."
Memories. I’m proud of you too!!! My mom knew her husband was sexually abusing my sister from 6 till she was 12. Only because they thought she was pregnant did my mom shoot him. Cops came long story short. My mom told my sister she ruined her life. None of us did well he went to prison but the state left all of us 6 kids with my mom who found another man that then mentally abused us. We lived a life of hell till we got away. I ran away. Finally state put me in childrens home I’m ok
Wow sending you a hug and so much light !
so many weak and dependent women, and look at what they put their kids through.
How are your siblings too?
God damn.
I'm sorry you and your siblings had to go through that. This is wrong.
Sending you lots of love! ❤️ And I wish you life filled with love to the brim from now on!
She needs to take her & her daughter to see a counselor on a consistent basis
What does being bipolar or whatever have to do with sexual assaulting people???
Right???
Nothing but it was something she gave him as an excuse for his behavior cuz it was too hard for her to compréhend hes a monster
And while manic . Some bi polar people get hypersexualised. And might not make Best decisions
@@murdahmammiezexactly!!
Nothing..it's ignorance..
She got out (demonstrating that something is not ok) and she explained (verbalising that it is not ok). What you do and what you say MUST be concurrent. Good job, lady.
Saw my mom getting raped and beaten more times than I can count as a kid. Even in my forties, it just never leaves. I feel for this mom, and kid.
❤❤❤
❤love and light be upon you
This poor child! She has internalized the whole experience. I'm just dying inside hearing this. The trauma is terrible. Then hearing the moms story! You might want to call the women's shelter for a referral for you mom. Stop the generational pain.
I’m proud of you, mama. You have a responsibility to protect your daughter and you are.
I am bipolar and am sick of people saying that is the cause of violent behaviors etc! FACT bipolar people are less likely to be violent. He had other reasons for his violence.. quit making me feel bad for my illness.. sick of it. Tv portrays this too..
He said it’s a context, not an excuse.
This guy isn’t bipolar and doesn’t have bipolar symptoms. He was diagnosed by the local Feelings Counselor and the CZcams comments. Not by a sad dude in a lab coat with a clipboard like us 😉
I think it’s selfish to make several comments about yourself, when this poor woman has had to deal with all this trauma. Be angry at the man who used his BP as an excuse to rape his wife and emotionally abuse his kid.
abused or not, trauma or no trauma, we need to normalize asking _all_ kids for consent to hug, touch, engage w| their body in any way.
they may be younger and/or smaller but children are still people + they have rights + deserve full bodily autonomy. that includes having the freedom + security in their safety to decline physical contact, even from mom + dad + definitely from extended family, friends, + strangers.
What a bunch of nonsense. So it’s bad if your grandparents or your own parents wanna show you affection, because you don’t want someone to touch you.
@@robertoduenas5346 Them wanting to show affection is not bad. The difference is giving a hug or physical contact when one does not want it. An adult should be in tune enough to see if a child (or adult) is not wanting the physical contact. One can be respectful and switch it up and ask for a hi-five or fist bump instead or just blow a kiss. I bet you every girl remembers the awkward hugs by some uncles who held on a bit too long, that you were not allowed to decline. Big disservice to teach children to that they have no say in the matter. Now that’s nonesense.
@@robertoduenas5346Your desire to touch someone does not supercede that someone's desire to not be touched by you. Why would you think that's okay?
@@robertoduenas5346it’s absolutely not nonsense. It’s disturbing that you don’t understand consent and boundaries. Please, seek help.
@@Suedepants100 you think it’s reasonable or normal to ask permission, to give your own kids a hug or a kiss or there grand parents, to do the same. If you think that’s normal, where on different wavelengths.
THANK YOU DR. JOHN, for the lesson in body autonomy. Parents, teach your children they always have the right to say NO!!!
It’s so hard to even listen to stories like these and it’s hard not to be uncomfortable listening. I feel for this baby girl and her momma and I hope they can heal ❤️
So much sexual perversion exists.. Sin and disease has such a ferocious attack on moral character. For example, we don't hear "he/she is bipolar and anxiety, and when he/she cooks, he/she keeps burning the food intentionally." Nope, people lash out aggressively through sex and violence
Yeah hypersexuality is a warning sign of a manic episode according to most resources. It's so sad!
@@brianikolehyper-sexuality and sexual assault are two mutually exclusive things though. Most bipolar people who are hyper-sexual are probably more likely to get r@ped or partake in risky/dangerous sexual behavior as opposed to forcing themselves on another person. Sexual assault is a defect in morality and character, not mental illness
@@Confettifun🤔 Yes.
They do the food thing too. It's not sexual perversion that causes this, it's male entitlement.
Good for you. My mom stayed with her abusive husband and encouraged me to continue to accept his behavior as a small child. Sickening. Your actions are giving your daughter a mother she can respect....God bless you. 🙏
Wow what an amazing woman. All the things she had to deal with and her questions are only based on her daughter... I have no words other then I hope she continues to move forward in her life and be a great mother to her child.
Right, so amazing that she turned a blind eye to a sociopath and had a child with him. Use your brain.
@@hillarybillary21use YOUR brain. All of your sentence was incorrect.
I know 2 bipolar people. These don’t sexual assault people. 😮
That actually part of Sex education in schools. The role of consent and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Too many people want to shut down sex eduction, and then wonder why their kid tells them they were molested and didn't tell them. There is sex education and all stages of childhood. the first one should always be body Autonomy, and what is "inappropriate" behaviour by children and adults.
Please, do not make excuses for men or women who assault or are violent or abusive. That whole bipolar or depressed or assertive nonsense is crap excuse. Even being drunk or high is a poor excuse.
Rightly said!!
Sooooooo tired of people blaming physical and sexual assault on mental issues. If that's the cause, then they need a straight jacket and padded cell. Instead, they use that excuse to get away with it. It's time we stop accepting that.
Exactly.
COVID lockdown put a magnifying glass on my husband's BP, too. I hadn't realized how bad his eating disorder was. I hadn't realized how covert he is, how often he lies. Four years later and I'm incredibly stressed. I know my kids feel it. They act out violently because of how unstable this household is. I, too, am proud of the caller for getting her daughter out.
You deserve to get help. Be safe.🙏❤️
@@blueStarKitt7924 Thank you ❤️
I've always been uncomfortable when grandma and grandpa force hugs on my kids.
Them tell the to go shove it. I still don't forgive my mum for letting a creepy old man kiss my little sister on her lips. She was 10. I was 14 (also female) and he gave me a handshake. Same with my mother. It was just my sister he wanted a kiss from. If I ever have children, this isn't even going to be an option for a stranger for how to behave with my children.
Set boundaries for them. They can't do it themselves and this conditions them to accept these personal violations:/
Awesome Dr Delony! Thank you
I feel so bad for the mom and the daughter
I think it would be good not to cover up for your ex EVER for any reason! Glad to hear she's in counseling. Maybe when she's older she could have some EMDR.
I understand what she said.
Dr John, love EVERYTHING you have said. So, so, so many people DON'T UNDERSTAND unless they have been there done that. Some of what you said are things I battle.
Thank you for helping and guiding Grace.
Keep being strong mama❤️
My step father r@ped my mom when I was 8,his family destroyed my life and I'm still not ok. Kids who have been abused or seen abuse don't trust anyone. I was 15 before she finally left him. I do not talk about this with anyone because it's far too hard
What an amazing mom Grace is. I hope she and her daughter are doing well today
Some family members should not be ones. Putting someone through trauma or abuse is just going to be expensive therapy in the future.
I was a child of abuse and spent my whole childhood protecting my mother's life, even sending my dad to jail. It left life long scars, I never got married put of fear and have massive anxiety I really relate to the daughter.
I’m so sorry and proud of your strength thank you for what you did I’m happy you’re safe
All need serious therapy. But a righteous man actually loving her could be part of the healing. Yes no unapproved hugs etc. yes no fil touches/hugs, but a good man (not romantic) who really cares is not out of bounds
No one said it was out of bounds. But it’s not demanded. It’s on the girl’s terms. She can say NO.
I don’t like the idea of this woman leaving her daughter for a month. Because of her background she’s not great at knowing who she can trust. I don’t think the daughter should be left with anyone. Maybe the mother can do intensive day treatment(?)
I know this video was posted a year ago. But still eye opening to watch/listen too. Definitely gives me stuff to think about.
Jesus... I read the title and I don't feel like I can listen to this one... I'm sorry
Damn I emphasize with this hard. All the best of luck to u and urs...ur doing great!!!💙💙💙
She needs to go to the police !
She probably has already. The daughter sees a therapist so I’m sure they reported it
Gosh I'm so glad i came across this today.
"So strong you just lie down and go to bed at night"
Holy....
That hit me SO HARD...
Did no one catch the whole 'she made someone bleed! Omg' well they were restraining her. Why??? Why was an 8yo being restrained at school?? Why not talk about the fact that a man touched a child's chest after she said she didn't want him to??? I'm confused. Yes please do continue to ask if you can touch that child. She doesn't feel safe because she's not.
She said her daughter asked why the dad touched “your”(the mothers) chest.
My friend did intensive therapy and it was one of the best things that person could do for them and their child. Similar backstory of abuse as the caller. The therapy allowed them to go through life in a way where they can handle reminders of the abuse without having the PTSD completely overcome them. Yes, the memory of the abuse would come into their mind, recognize it, push it to the side, and move forward at that moment.
I watched my father beat my mom and I got beaten a lot but strangely that made me strong and a good mom to my kids. Is that normal? 🤷♀️
I think it may depend on self awareness. Some abused kids never realise they were abused, and can't solve the cycle. But others start to realise it was abuse, and become determined not to repeat it. Maybe that was you?
Abuse is always a choice. A mental health diagnosis is never an excuse.
Grace, if you're reading this, please find and follow Sarah McDugal and look into the resources she's put together. She advocates for Trauma Mommas and has supportive communities you could join.
This was heavy.
Why would this mom allow the sperm donors family to have any contact with this kid? Nope no way?
I was sexually assaulted and I did emdr therapy and it helped me alot with my journey. Please get therapy. Hope everyone is doing well!
Why, in the world, is this woman in contact with her husband's father?
my daughter was diagnosed as bipolar age 14 she also had ODD
Amazing and strong woman. What does John suggest when she talks about EMDR Therapy, I cannot really understand him. If she was his sister he would suggest her to start with what?
Crap this one is hard.
Extremely devestating
She needs to leave him.
Were you listening?
Unfortunately, using a mental illness to excuse away violent or harmful behavior is incredibly damaging.
Yes, mental instability or illness can contribute to errative behavior. However, it is not healthy to say "because this person is expericing psychosis, or bipolar, or mood swings, they can say and do cruel things". It makes dealing with the related trauma becomes a war. "This person was mentally ill, so I shouldn't feel angry/bitter/hurt".
0:51
Eight?!? I’m sorry eight!!! She’s going through puberty?!?!? This isn’t normal. Did I miss something?!?
It's called "precocious puberty" which is when puberty symptoms start earlier (around 7 and 8 years old) than average and it happens a lot more often than you think! Some people are just genetically predisposed to start puberty earlier.
It happens in girls when they are raised in a traumatic environment.
"you need to do an intensive". And intensive what?
Where does that "heightened sense of justice" from the kid come from?
The mum not standing up for herself
Could be ADHD or autism.
She can’t trust her mom to stand up for her since her mom didn’t stand up for herself. She’s taken on the adult role of protecting those around her because her mom didn’t do it.
I was the scapegoat child in my family, our family structure was based on keeping mother & youngest sister happy. When you are constantly denied fairness, evenhandedness in discipline, experiences, opportunities, you begin insisting on justice, fairness be applied.
If you had a shitty past and skeletons in the closet than you attract a mate that has a shitty past. Mother and daughter both need therapy.
Dr John, I agree with most everything you say but I have a problem with how you characterize living with someone with bipolar. If you work hard with a professional and stay on your medication and learn what you don't know you can raise sensitive children and live in a happy, healthy home
Bipolar makes the other person crazy? I’d rephrase that considering you’re a mental health professional
Actually... he's not. Look at his educational degrees.
Bruh this guy keeps interrupting
oh the kids responses sound exactly like mine ......uhhhhhhhhh
come on dude, you ask permission to hug your kids?
OMG 😳 wtf
This child is going to be completely destroyed because of the actions of your husband
I'm against asking "Can I have a hug?" Why? That little phrase while useful in the context of learning is also based on the false illusion that the world is made up of questions and that the abuser will ask What I feel is even more useful is teaching your child how to interpret indirect and oftentimes subtle cues, such as someone leaning in for a hug/kiss and practicing simple yet powerful "No, thank you" or "I don't want to hug you/kiss you" Or using an opportunity of you telling your child NO when they want something and then teaching them that just as you honour their NO and their boundaries they also need to respect your NO and your boundaries It's all about context When my sister suggested my 4 year old niece gave me a hug and she said no I honoured it I didn't push it I simply honoured it We can enforce our children's boundaries by praising them by either implicitly or explicitly saying "It's OK to say no" Abusers don't ask, they take We need to have the words for those who take You can't violate your child's boundaries and then expect them to say no when faced with an abuser
What does he suggest instead of Edmr ?
Why are kids going thru puberty at 8?
How does martial rape exist? Why would a woman not want to have sex with her husband? Genuine question. It doesn’t sound like this situation is good, but in general, aren’t you saying you are one flesh and want each other sexually?
Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood. Both men and women can be in love and attracted to their partner, but not want to have sex all the time. Women in particular though tend to need more foreplay and time to feel “in the mood”. Sex feels awful as a woman if you’re not wet. It’s hard to get wet when you’re feeling stressed or sad, or during certain phases of the menstrual cycle. That’s why it may seem like women turn down sex more than men. If a woman’s husband penetrates her even after she says no/don’t, that is still r*pe (and it HURTS physically). Hope this brings some clarity.
Marriage isn’t blanket sexual consent
why women pick up this kind of garbage?
don t get it
Life is hard enough, why put more burden on?
Sheesh
I think the mother by not leaving the guy sooner set up a horrible situation for the daughter. The mother knew he was abusing the daughter. The daughter does not think she is safe even with the mother. It took the mother saying he raped her (the mother) to kick him out? It's all about the mother. She allowed the abuse of the daughter to contine. Horrible.
easier said than done. don't judge, just be happy she got out
I've seen this a lot in my life where the mother does nothing and the child pays the price.
@@carnivoreRon she did something though so kudos to her ❤️
Yeah it's easy to say she could have done XYZ, but at the end of the day it's the father's fault and nobody else's.
When you're in a relationship with someone like that, and when you have a lifetime of abuse leading up to that relationship (which it sounds like she did), you're not going to have the same level of mental clarity and common sense that you or I might possess.
It's an awful situation, and the child ultimately suffered because the mother didn't take action, but there's a reason it's called a cycle of abuse. People who are already living it are more likely to stay in it and perpetuate it. Not because they're evil or don't care, but because abuse always degrades the victims' mental capacity and common sense. It's just what happens.
@@Cyanopteryxfacts
"When I finally realized he had been graping me?"
Uhhh what? 🤨
Yeah this sounds suspicious. I'm sure her divorce lawyer put that thought into her head. "that" is not something you realize later.
yes you can grape your wife. She probably didn't realize this. some people think that in marriage you don't have autonomy over your body. Yes you do. So, he probably was forcing her, but she thought "no" was not an option since they were married. make sense?
I caught that too. Like what?! When you “finally realized”. I’m sorry. I have was sexually assaulted more than once (by the same person) when I was a child. There’s no final realization. You KNOW in that moment. People like this honestly irritate me. Not to say there isn’t trauma there, because there is…but please stop making sexual assault into this broad thing that it’s not. Your husband touching your boobs is no biggie 😂😂 I have been married 14 years (I’m only 34) and my hubby has always done this. It’s a form of affection and it’s always done in a playful way. Far far FAR from sexual assault…I hate when women use that to go after a man it’s only because they know they can get people (including the law), to take their side. It’s disgusting. If YOU are done or if you are done because of his untreated bipolar then say that…
You’re all being extremely ignorant, look at the full picture. R*pe is saying stop, or no, and so on, and someone is still forcing themselves to have intercourse with you. I had this happen to me when a male took my virginity at age 15, I kept saying please stop, I don’t want to. For a couple years, I didn’t want to admit that’s what happened to me. I still had zero self worth when I didn’t admit to myself that he r*ped me. I felt like a worthless piece of flesh- If I live, it doesn’t matter. If I die, it doesn’t matter.
Because for me to admit that he r*ped me, I had to admit I’m a victim.
I would be ashamed if I were you in these comments.
@@Mewa-tv6qc There is a big difference between an timid 15 year old girl and married woman.
Why don't more people heal before being kids into the world?
He’s clearly a r*pist and likely manipulated her into doing it, or forced it.
If she is a single mom, what man is telling the daughter to brush her teeth?
I’m confused, she has been knowing he was abusive for 20 years?? Why would she stay with him that long? I must be missing something
Human survival and psychology. Her self-worth was in the gutter. When people, especially women, think you are nothing, they're convinced that it's "my fault, if only I", "well he's sick" "I don't have any prospects, where would I go?"
She did eventually break free of those chains. But they're very real for abuse victims.
Have sympathy. Watch a TED talk maybe.
That is the worst thing you could ever say to an abuse victim.
@@cyrenedomogalla5127bullish** then dont make babies. The second you make a baby and abuse that child by not removing them from a bad situation there is no excuse. None. I’m so tired of the self victimization I could vomit.
Because she was brought up with the same conditions and cycles repeat
I thought she said: “why does daddy touch your rubie when you don’t want him to”?
I need to know more before I jump on her fan train
I feel like some people let their therapy and issues become their identity.
@
I am asking...what happened to the male counterpart.
They are human too...i think (most people) just brush them off...why...maybe in bad decision making, maybe wrong identification...but they shouldnt necessarily be the 'Bad Guy'
What's amazing is that people don't see these traits when they start a relationship and then are surprised all of a sudden when things start going south. At least they are now divorced, but the mistake was done when she first decided to engage with this person. SMH
She was abused as a child. That exposes and makes vulnerable a person to people like this due to their own self worth being compromised. There's no blame here but on the abuser(s). None.
Your comment is so dumb on its face that I'm surprised you didn't observe it on your own:
"...people don't see these traits...then are surprised...when things start going south." See how dumb that was? Obviously if one doesn't see the traits they're going to be surprised. Your high-horse, condescension, and ignorance are an embarrassment to see, which is only made worse by how dumb it was at the start.
She saw.
That may be unfair. She had a lot of trauma in her life and probably didn’t recognize the red flags. Also, he was probably was very nice at the beginning
I want to hear the guys side of this . She was abused , raped at 21and been in therapy for 20 years but the guy is the problem for 'groping' his wife ? There is so much more to this
being raped is not a vaccine for getting groped: that doesn't make sense.
It's really hard for anybody to judge without hearing both sides of the stories. I can call this guy and tell him all kinds of stories about people I don't like. Just saying.
I don’t understand your comment .. are you accusing this woman of making up the trauma she went through? Strange comment
Sounds like he was accused by someone of being a creep n is in denial . N victim shaming @@kellyeverett
You have most definitely assaulted someone and thats a cope
What the hell? This woman is a r victim and she's living with an abuser? Um, what?
We usually fall prey to more than one predator once someone has taken that power away from us
@@murdahmammiezit’s 2024, she chose this man. Wake up.
@@murdahmammiezIn 2004 she had equal rights and was not forced to be with him. She chose him, wake up
@@hillarybillary21lmao be quiet
Raped at 21. Was in therapy. And she just now realized her husband was raping her….. Some things aren’t adding up from her side.
He was her husband. It can be hard to admit to yourself that something that terrible happened to you.
Exactly!! Just something to throw the man under the bus and make her look good so it’s not her “fault” that they got divorced. Ummm I was sexually assaulted several times as a young child. Had she been raped prior, there would have been no realizing AFTER the fact 😂 this is a joke…seriously. Get divorced and get into therapy and stop pinning all the blame on your spouse!
because people can be told rape in marriage is not a thing even though having a title in someones life doesnt mean you have the right to cancel out the need of consent
You realise women are told husbands can’t rape their wives. Right?
@@cloudedcolour5329 right!!
damn some really effed up people call this show. I bet they're fake?
I can relate to some callers but rarely. And I’ve met some people that have been through some horrific stuff. So I’m not so sure that they’re fake. But I do always wonder how even older people end up in bad situations.
Yep. This was attention seeking totally on this woman’s part. Saying I need to split cause I can’t stand living with someone who is untreated bipolar and who refuses to change is sooo different than saying “oh. I suddenly realized my hubby was r*ping me” and that’s your reasoning?! What do you mean you realized after the fact, sounds like she was fed up with the bipolar aspect of it (understandable) and needed to pin blame so she could tell the kid and everyone else that it’s “his fault” give me a break lady!
@@agilitypoodle99jesus Christ you’re coping hard
Omg all these Pathetic women commenting
Women choose these types of men and leave the nice guy on the side lines.
Do you consider yourself as a nice guy? Cause if you were, you would show some kind of empathy
Yikes - sounds like you chose the wrong guy to breed with!
Unsympathetic man #5.
Pathetic incel response
Everyone in the comments is piling on the man, but had undiagnosed bipolar. People with bipolar disorder are not in control of thier emotions, it wasn't his fault. Its bad enough the mentaly ill have to live with stigma and marginalizatiin w/o ppl perpetuating misconcieved hierarchical levels of ableist oppression. Smgdh
Nope the emotion part can be true but the rape sexual deviance is not bipolar related! His morality is to blame there ..
Heads up I am bipolar
Sometimes I rob convenience stores but it’s not my fault because I’m bipolar
Stop using labels as a way to protect bad men
She sounds like a constant victim
She’s disgusting
You sound like bad man who protects rapist
How’s that possible when that’s your child’s father and husband ?
Just because you are married to somebody does not give you unrestricted access to their body.
@@unnamedchannel1237 is marriage not giving yourself to another fully in mind, heart, body and soul ?
@@trumpisgod2535 nope. Any decent husband understands a wife should retain bodily autonomy and vice versa.
@@trumpisgod2535 We can argue all day over whether a woman "must" give her husband sex any time he demands it regardless of her personal feelings at any given moment. However, if she says "no I won't do that right now" he DOES NOT have the right to violently physically force her into compliance.
Nah. Men who are sexpests have no rights to a woman’s body.
This woman has issues.. too much therapy.. also primed her daughter from her own issues?
“When I finally realized he was raping me.” How do you “realize” something like this? Sounds like she wants to be a victim of everything; everything from rape to financial abuse. Maybe this helps her feel less guilty about divorcing a guy she no longer desires after 20 years. She will get with the next guy and accuse him of the same thing when she gets bored of him too. Relationships are sketchy in 2022.
Rape means different things to different people. So it does make you wonder
Some spouses dont realize they have the right to say no even after marriage. Sometimes a person has to contextualize the term rape before they realize it applies to their situation. Just bc you don't understand the mindset of an abuse you've most likely never been through does not mean it isn't a valid trauma
Because some women don’t know that they can say no even if they are married. She has been abused since she was 8. She doesn’t know she can say no. And when forces because she doesn’t want to do it in front of her daughter she thinks it’s not rape. When it’s rape.
Except you’ve had someone rape you in the ass repeatedly then shut up.
Unsympathetic man #3. (This one probably does some of this stuff himself.)
@@arawilson you got me 🙄
It’s not rape if it’s within marriage. It’s not respecting boundaries but your husband has a right to your body and you have a right to his. Refusing the conjugal act to your spouse is a sin unless you have good reason and no, a headache or being tired is not a good reason.
I'm sorry that some one has taught you this in your life. Rape is defined as nonconsensual sex it doesn't matter whom it is, be it your husband or your wife.
@@malaikavinson4435 it’s definitely a violation, like in an extreme way. However, it’s a violation of your marriage Covenant to refuse to give yourself wholeheartedly to your spouse when they initiate that intimacy. You married them, gave your body and soul to them to love to honour and to cherish. They’re not keeping those Vows when they force themselves on you when you’ve said no, but you’ve also not kept those Vows by saying no. One is a worse physical violation but the other is a worse spiritual one as you have no right to take back what belongs rightfully to your spouse, and the same from them to you.
That is a sick response to believe a husband can't rape his wife. Sex involves consent, married or not. Everyone has the right to say no, at least in the USA. It's disgusting and abusive when a man forces himself upon a woman.
@@marie-bernadettebenedict3007 that's just weird. what if someone isn't in the mood? why go through with it if it's not enjoyable?
that being said someone being unwilling to is a valid reason for divorce, it's an incompatibility in attraction or sex drive.
Stop trolling.