What men desire in a relationship, most women don't understand
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- čas přidán 4. 09. 2024
- Hey guys! Today's episode is long overdue. We are talking about what men desire in a relationship that most women DON'T GET; using 3 examples. I hope you guys enjoy and find this relatable! :)
Don't forget to subscribe if you want to continue to see my weekly uploads every Thursday!
What men want?:
1. Peace and tranquility - no drama or tantrums
2. Appreciation
3. Loyalty
Problem is; women NEED drama and friction.
Otherwise, they're bored.
Sex
Affection
Money
💯% agree 🙂👍🏼👍🏼
Amen!
I came here to say this, but I knew in my heart it had already been said.
I'm a recent widower in my 50's. I'm amazed at how much the relationship world has changed during the decades I was married to my wife. When I was a young guy it wasn't uncommon for the girl to be caring early on, cooking, cleaning, helping a guy pick out nicer clothes and generally taking care of the guy while not jumping into bed until things got serious. Now, they'll jump into bed before even going on a date but think it's demeaning to make a sandwich. I just don't get it.
@@npenick66 yes, we've gone quite topsy turvy
Correct
I’m a 42 year old widow and I’m confused as well. It’s all wack
19th amendment....
Sorry for your loss. My wife past away 3 yrs ago, Im 57. Evil is called good and good called evil.
1) no nagging. Treat like adults, not children you have to educate.
2) appreciation. This is both about intimacy and just day to day life. If we do what you need to have a good life, a peaceful life (not happiness that's can't be given) appreciate what we do and show it with your actions.
3) respect. Show us respect and don't cross our boundaries. No public disrespect, no badmouthing to your friends, no oversharing our life.
💯
Correct
Thank you . I wanted to hear a man’s perspective.
As a woman I agree with you 💯 😃👍🏻
so true.
Women get in a relationship thinking they can change a guy, but he doesn't change. Men get in a relationship expecting the woman to stay the same as the woman he met, and she doesn't.
Solid comment.
It’s not that she doesn’t change it’s that she’s hiding who she really is until it’s to late.
Everyone is different, however, I feel that there are three cornerstones to successful relationships:
1) Loyalty. Every man wants to know that his wife is loyal & trustworthy.
2) Peace. She doesn’t make a drama over every little thing and doesn’t constantly criticize you.
3) Respect. Don’t get into the habit of demeaning or belittling him to your friends and family.
If you want to be treated like a Queen, treat him like a King.
1) A good sense of humor, 2) Fun to do things with. My wife of 35 years still cracks me up.
A woman with grace is rare these days. When you meet one, it's a beautiful thing. Kind energy. Different from most.
I think this is probably #1. The problem is most men will never have this because they are not good enough leaders to be worthy of a woman like this, let alone have her submit if she does have this Gene in her. At some point you will piss even the kindest woman off if you do a bad enough job, and we don't want to take responsibility for that fact as men but it's true in many relationships unfortunately. The blame falls on the leader and the man is the leader not the woman
my trad Chinese wife is a dream come true
@@TJ-kk5zf I have a trad Filipina. Praise Jesus.
Masculine energy is the Initiator, therefore even if the woman is perfect, it won't work if men are not healthily masculine
Easier said than done when dealing with vampires ... Take as much energy as possible from women for various reasons that gets swept under the metaphorical rug.
Here is what we want: just stop the unrelenting criticism. If you want something done, do it yourself, because if I do it, it will not be right.
Amen
The old saying goes. A woman can tell a man what to do, but not how to do it.
That's the very reason why my wife left me. Seriously. I never did anything right, but then got mad at me for not doing anything.
I wonder if you would be „happy and satisfied „ if you would ask your wife : car is broken, does not start , nor trwavtibg to anything. She goes to a car , she sits on a driver seat for 2 minutes , goes back and reports the fixed it. Are you happy with the result ? Can you drive tow ork or groceries ? Nope. Do you think she made any effort to? Are you happy she tried and even if failed she just tell I don’t know how to donut we need a mechanic and I found one ? Nope. Would you be happy with someone who acts this way till the rest of your life ? I don’t think so …
@@carolinareaper8089 CONGRATS! Your reply simultaneously misses the point, while demonstrating the original point 🤣
That clip of the man eating his homemade lunch from his girlfriend was THE CUTEST thing I've seen today. And that man looks like he feels so appreciated, so happy, so encouraged.🥰 Just the absolute cutest.
and you know all the guys sitting behind him wish they had a unicorn too!
And at least HE appreciates that she did it for him.
He deserved that cuz he pays her whole rent
And it is such an easy thing for a woman to do. Men are very simple. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to keep a man happy and satisfied. Now a man trying to figure out how to keep a woman happy is an enigma to almost all men.
@@xyzxyz6406 They (men) quickly take it all for granted.
After my wife of 30 years past way, all the photos I kept would be considered “ugly” by most. But to me they show the most beautiful woman. That she could portray strength, elegance, tenacity in those pictures, is why I have kept them.
Great May the Lord Bless you 😍
I totally get that. I had that too. She was so, so beautiful to me.
Only because most just see the one moment in the picture, only you could see the 1000 words they say it's worth.
As a man I must say this. What Man wants.
Number 1: Peace
Number 2: appreciation
Number 3: Sex(the feeling of being desired and that the woman seriously want to be together)
To have number 1 - try, take some effort and there will be no Issue to argue and nag about - when thatching is completed you will receive number 2 automatically. For number 3 it will be natura when 1 and 2 is accomplished and if you miss anything just tell her as you would to your friend . So easy
@@carolinareaper8089 Wow, you have some sort of fantasy view of women. Healthy women, yes. But too often people let past traumas dictate their behavior in relationships and the effort you talk about does nothing to achieve 1, 2, or 3.
@@carolinareaper8089 Women often seem to _find_ isssues where men don't think there is one. For example an unhealthy obsession with cleaning and thinking it's a problem that a man doesn't find a little dust to be a crime.
@@carolinareaper8089 you live in a woman's fantasy land. I wish I did too, but I live in reality sadly.
Yes not just sex but explicitly the feeling of being passionately desired by your partner is super important..
For me:
- peace
- stability
- close time together
- communicate (real)
- don't be fake / honesty
- constructive criticism (not negative)
- appreciation for things I do
- reciprocate
- playful
Only thing i add is alone time. I get smothered if i cant spend a few hours a day on my own. But i want to know shes happy to have me back when i come home
Best comment ever!!! Will you marry me, like 40 years ago young man??
Men hope women will never change.
Often time, women hope the man will change.
It's a saying going something like this;
A man merry a woman hoping she will never change.
But she does. To worse.
A woman marry to a man hopping she will change him, but she's never satisfied even if he does.
100% TRUTH
The way I've heard it is "Man gets married hoping woman will never change. Woman gets married hoping man will change. Both are doomed to disappointment."
A man ‘expects’ sex on tap.
Unfortunately when he marries this sex kitten, she turns into a cat.
Except that they were just fronting at first. Or they werent themselves because they were in the honeymoon phase
I have never told my husband that I didn’t want him to play golf. Not once! He has worked hard for his career and he deserves to get outside and do something he loves. That’s when I usually take my alone time to do whatever makes me happy. When we are both less stressed, life is always better.
“women are taught their whole life how to be treated by a man; and men are taught their whole life how to treat a women, NOT how they should be treated by a woman” is scarily true
Gentlemen, here’s one piece of advice.
If you ask a woman, what makes you happy & she can’t express it to you in words what makes her happy…..run.
Do not accept a two or three word answer you want to get a full explanation.
If she can’t express what makes her happy how in the world are you going to figure it out?
What you want is a woman who’s happy and you’re happy and you get together and can both be happier.
Don’t chase women who need a man to complete her or make her happy because all you will do is try your best, but nothing you do will EVER make her happy.
Then, in the end she’ll blame you, for not being happy.
Wise words.
Can confirm
It is not Your, or anyone else's job to make Her happy, because you can't.
_The only person that can make Her happy is Herself._
Women are experts at disclaiming responsibility for their own mistakes and poor judgment, so she will always find something to blame you for.
The honest answer is that nothing makes a woman happy. They don't know how to be happy. It absolutely blows my girlfriend's mind that I can just sit on the sofa and zone out; nothing going through my head, just enjoying the peace/silence. And that's another thing; nothing-and I mean NOTHING-pisses a woman off more than seeing man doing nothing.
@@themancuniancandidate2744 She do not understand that it is how men sort their feelings.
Just as she need to TALK thing through to sort her feelings, men need silence and nothingness to do the same.
Men love "the silent treatment", women hate it.
Isn't it astonishing that we live in a world where someone making their partner a sandwich is a big deal.
I've asked my wife a few times, just as a test. Her answer is always, "uh, you can get your own sandwich. I'm not your mother."
I'm sorry.
I found the perfect girl, she responds exactly the way I want with my advances. We have chemistry, and she's a Christian girl. She's more beautiful than she could ever understand, problem is she lives in Canada best ones usually do. Something in the water there, blondes or brunettes i love brunettes they are versatile.
@@fightingfortruth9806did you tell her to fix her own crap, because your aren't her father?
Its always the little things that make the biggest difference.
the #1 thing a man wants in a relationship is security. he wants the security of knowing he has a safe home and family to come home to. he wants the security of not having to jump through hoops to get his emotional needs met. he wants the security of knowing he is allowed to have fun.
And the moment he gets married, he loses any security he had.
So very true thanks for your honest opinion
There is no "allowed to have fun." A man's girlfriend or wife either sincerely accepts that her man wants & will have fun doing what he wants to do without her being the source, in any way, of his entertainment, secretly resent her man & punish him for having fun outside of her or she will make it a problem. I'm going to have fun, even if it's childlike in nature, with or without my girlfriend & I definitely will have no problem having fun outside of or without her. A girlfriend or wife is exactly that: a girlfriend or wife, nothing more. Nevertheless, I agree that men want the security of having a safe home & family to which he returns, without any mind games.
@kenshindoman9757
Not entirely true if that's the problem then you married the wrong woman
Amen brother
Men need admiration and respect, women need adoration and love.
100% agree.
Much thanks from a 72 yr old guy who found a women while I was 20. married 52 yrs now. She learned to make my lunch really good.
I’m jealous. Married 51 years and maybe get a sandwich 2-3 times a year but it’s the way she likes it. 😢
It’s not that she changes, it’s that the mask can only be worn for so long and she finally shows you who she truly was all along.
This 👍
Lol 😂
I know you're right because I lived thru this when I was single at 54. They try to act the way they think you want but after 6 months or a year they just can't keep up the facade. Good luck guys
A metaphor for this would be the makeup. Mostly worn to cover the truth, often from one self too.
I get what you’re saying… but women do change more than men over time… physically, biologically, and behaviorally
The most important lesson my dad instilled in me that if I need to be guarded about anything like emotions or venting about a rough day, she isn't the one. I was taught treat a woman that I'm in a relationship the way I feel I wish to be treated back. If I want to be treated like a king, I better treat her like a queen and I better be treated like a god if she wants to be treated like a goddess. When it isn't reciprocated, it shows our values don't align. I do also have the belief that men strongly desire to shower the woman they love with love with the expectation of the same level of respect returned to them.
We married in our 20s and are in our 40s now. We’ve been through so much, good and really bad, together. People do change with age. But the key is to wake up every day and choose to love the person you married. If your basic values are compatible, you can make it through anything. Love is more than a feeling. It’s action. It’s a choice you make.
This is the truth. We are not victims of love but agents of it.
Your description is exactly right! We were only 20 and 22 when we married, and the years that followed saw many personal changes. But we grew even more deeply in love as we rolled with the changes and every day chose again what we'd chosen before (read The Wild Rose by Wendell Berry). And were blessed with almost 43 years of joy and appreciation for each other before death parted us.
@@user-bs2kd3kk6x I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔 but I’m so happy you had that kind of love. People throw it away over the silliest, most unimportant things these days. But when you get through hard times together and it strengthens you, there’s absolutely no feeling better than that. When you find your person, the hard times aren’t as painful and the good times are exponentially more joyful. God bless you. 💕
Yep, it sounds cheesy but I always say "love" is a verb not a noun. It's not a thing you "fall in or out of". It's a series of decisions that you just keep making. You keep loving a person and it sustains them and causes them to want to do the same. And together youbget each other thru the hard/weird times and onto the fun and exciting times. It's not a hard concept. But harder than you think to establish a lifestyle of it. You will swallow a lot of harsh words over the years and be glad you never said them, haha
Sadly many women don't want this anymore. Even though the vows are all encompassing they just have no meaning when things get hard.
Bad advice abound from family, friends, therapists and social media tell women it's ok to blow up and crater your family for any number of reasons. Doesn't matter if you're a good provider or not, they simply choose their emotions and themselves first.
And many of these women have sons and are directly perpetrating this cycle on to them and could care less. I advise all young men to not marry and all my sons will know this as well.
Absolutely yes. To me all boils down to very basic form: square
1: loyalty
2: love
3: communication
4: commitment
Without the other, whole structure falls apart.
Love it. "That is NOT how marriage works." So true. If you are going to have a competition make it about who can do more for the other.
Ladies, you know how you get really icked out by a guy who is being nice just to get something out of you? A guy who is buying you an expensive dinner to put pressure on you to put out? We feel similarly about the phenomenon of a woman who does 'wifely things' in order to get a ring and/or kids. When we men say we don't want you to change, what tends to be the case is that they did the song and dance, were sweet and nice and put out a bunch to get us into a situation where they 'had' us. Where they could say that we were 'theirs'. A state, by the way, that is legally punishable if we were to fight them on it. Once we were obtained, the mask came off, and we faced nagging, indifference, icy bedrooms, and a constant push to make more money to feed their consumerist appetite before taking the no-fault escape plan and legally punishing us on top of the emotional betrayal. If you have no intentions of doing it after the ring goes on, don't do it to get the ring. Please help us all find the right person by not pretending to be what we'd like. Be authentically yourself, and date a guy you *love* just as he is. Seeking more and better isn't great for you in the long run, and it can leave a trail of devastated men in your wake.
Very well said. Bravo. You don't fall in love with a list of attributes. Once you get those, guess what, you're unhappy. And withholding love in all ways.
This was so perfectly said!!
Facts !
Technically modern dating is just a premium prostitution. With a hooker, you pay just for sex. But for a "relationship" you pay for her LIFE, and hope sex comes along as part of a bundle deal. You have to pay for her food, her shopping sprees, her life style and take her on vacations just to get sex...just stick with a hooker, might not be "legal" but it's damn sure cheaper and has no drama.
Trust, males do a similar evil... They keep stepping stone women until they get where they want and "upgrade" to the idealistic beauty standard they have in their mind once they get some money.
In my opinion, playful banter and a sense of humor are crucial in a relationship. Laughing together cannot be overstated.
Indeed
Highly dependant on the kind of people in the relationship
@@uberrandomperson somewhat true, especially if the couple is democrat/lib
@@gooddognigel9992Jesus Christ. Someone always has to bring politics into the most bullshit conversation. Get a real hobby.
@@lacey7632 why did you bring religion into the conversation? “Get a real hobby.”
You nailed it again on all three points. For point number 2, my wife was indeed beautiful in my eyes at every age across more than 4 decades. And as to your first point: my father in law once commented that he knew the very first time he met me, even though my future wife was only 18 at the time, that he had just met her husband. Because she was different around me, he'd never seen her treat any previous boyfriends the way she treated me.
And, BTW, I knew I wanted to be her husband about two months into our relationship!
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Parting ways with someone you deeply cherish is an agonizing experience. I understand firsthand, having encountered a parallel situation at the end of my 6-year relationship. Driven by an unyielding determination, I explored every avenue to salvage our bond. Seeking guidance from a spiritual counselor proved pivotal, as their intervention played a crucial role in rekindling our love.
That's fascinating! How did you come across a spiritual counselor, and what's the best way for me to contact her?
Meet Suzanne Ann Walters, an outstanding spiritual counselor with the power to restore your relationship with your ex.
I appreciate this invaluable information; I've just searched for her online. Quite impressive!
Bad bot!
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 5-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here.
Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 12-year relationship came to an end. Despite the odds, I couldn't bear to let her slip away. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with her, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention ultimately facilitated her return.
Incredible! Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Allow me to introduce Suzanne Ann Walters, a highly skilled spiritual counselor known for her expertise in rekindling past relationships.
Thank you for this invaluable information; I've just checked her out online. Very impressive indeed!
I feel your pain, brother.
Praying for your peace and healing today. 😔🙏
The men liking girls in their most natural state is spot on.
A woman who insists on continuing to spend hours every day applying make-up, doing her nails and hair - even after her man has assured her that she's beautiful just the way she is - is doing this for one reason and one reason only: She's keeping her options open. And no, it's not because her office job requires it, that's just a cope. The job only requires her to look tidy and professional - and definitely NOT looking like she belongs in a brothel.
And why wouldn´t they? Women didn´t have Maybelline in the stone age! Maybe they used something else but most of the time they would have been natural.
If you can't like a woman in her natural state that says a lot about her personality.
The hollowed out cheeks, overly thick caveman eyebrows, and hot dog lips. STOP! No men think this looks good.
My wife is the most beautiful to me the first thing in the morning when she rolls over and smiles at me with her hair messed up, warm and in her pajamas.
Emily is definitely the “Man Whisperer.” It is scary how much she knows about how I think and what I want!
Yes totally agreed. 👍Woman like her would make us happy, she's a constant factor, not suddenly change 180° I would love seeing more woman like her. Dating and relationships would be so stable and happy.
It's because it doesn't take much to know about men.
It only takes listening to us.
Damn straight. Most people surround themselves with like-minded people. Wonder if she'd be able to find other women like herself? She'd make a fortune as a matchmaker. Most of the single guys on here would be queuing up.
@@kairu_aname Indeed, we are simple creatures and I think that sometimes women overanalyze us.
Ikr
There's one concept that men have to keep in their mind when they do find these unicorns - reciprocation.
If the man ain't doing something to show he's fully invested, then she's going to start feeling unappreciated.
And I'm not talking about things that are expensive or take huge amount of effort to plan. It's the little things that are the foundation to a happy marriage.
When my husband & I first became serious, we made a promise to each other to NEVER expect the other to be a mind reader. If something is important, we talk about it, if it's something we aren't 100% certain needs to be discussed, we think on it for a while & decide "is this actually an issue? Or am I just reacting on emotion?" We've been together 16 years & those 16 years have honestly been 99% conflict free. This is a 2nd marriage for both of us & we have a deep appreciation for a peaceful marriage since we didn't have that the first time.
My wife and I have been married 30 years. What do men value in a woman? #1 is purity (he won't consider you wife material if you don't have high standards - if you don't have these high standards now you won't have them after you get married). #2 is respect (respect is so important to a man that if you're married, and your husband thinks you don't respect him, he won't touch you). #3 is sober minded/down to earth in your opinion of yourself (not thinking you're a queen or a princess or the prize - the truth is no one is the prize - and if you are a genuinely good woman your husband will love you like you will never imagine). #4 is being content (not demanding or intense).
Back to purity for a moment . . . Guys and girls you both need to keep yourselves pure, until you're married. You will both respect each other so much if you respect yourselves, and each other, enough to wait. When my wife and I were dating we literally didn't touch each other in any private areas at all. We dated for 4 years. We waited until we were married. And you know what, the relationship was stress free. No expectations other than to be together and get to know each other. We didn't live together. No one felt used (the woman for her body, the man for his income/wealth). We just wanted to be together in the same place. We didn't have crazy arguments about sharing the rent, or someone not paying their share, or doing their share of housework and chores, etc... Shacking up is always an insecure proposition. It doesn't work. You're always saying stuff like "50/50". Marriage was never meant to be 50/50. Marriage requires 100% from both of you. And sometimes the guy has to give 110%, and sometimes the girl has to give 110%, to make up for each other's short fall. That's what real life is like.
In addition, going back to Emily's comments on women not wearing makeup . . . my girlfriend (who became my wife) almost never wore makeup. She was beautiful the way she was, BECAUSE she was natural. And she's still that way. And my favorite picture of her, from when we were dating, was her wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, with a great smile. The only time she wears makeup is when we go to a wedding, not because either of us wants her to wear makeup, but because it's kind of "expected" socially in that setting. But that's it. Anyway, dating, courting and marriage are really simple if you are both committed to the above guidelines. And if you stick to these guidelines, if the relationship doesn't make it to marriage, although the breakup will still be painful, it won't be painful because you think you've been used. It will only be painful because you lost a close friend. And you will still have your self respect. Does this sound like a really great formula or what?
yep awesome
You met a unicorn, good for U .But that's not what's out there.
Life is like a box of chocolate, you don't know what you will get.
Just. Fucking. Reciprocate. Whether it’s effort, attention, affection, etc.
I do like this comment… I had to tell my girl to give me space so the opportunity can be open for me to come to her.
mostly they do this when you give them an hourly rate.
They only reciprocate when you have something they want
@@standardofexcellenceyup
¿¿lZZZZD or $$$
Yes!!! Like freaking for real!!! So many dang takers. Ugh!!!
Companionship in marriage is a universal emotional need to spend quality time with a significant other. It's also known as "intimacy" and can involve:
Sharing thoughts and feelings
Sharing dreams
Confiding in each other
Feeling connected
Wanting to share experiences
Married for 44 years, love your video.
One thing, give more than take and you will have a great life.
One word: peace. That’s all we really want.
For me as a man. 1-Respect 2-Peace 3-Love. Without the respect, I don't want anything from anyone. I understand that respect is earned and takes hard work to maintain.
That’s close to my list: respect, support, peace.
Getting a compliment, as a man, is memorable.
Because it is so very rare. That's why we don't know how to deal with it.
Men marry women hoping they won't change and they do, whilst women marry men hoping that he will change, but they don't.
That is a variation of a quotation oft cited (probably due to the fact that is seems to be a truism).
_"That's the trouble about marriage. Women always hope it's going to change the husband. Men always hope it won't change their wives --- and both are disappointed!"_
-- John Tring (from the play _Cynara_ )
Man sees woman as perfect. Woman sees man as a project to fix.
@@tmeekins42 Aye, and they're both deluded.
That needs to be on a t-shirt
The irony... lol
10/10, completely agree with the opener. A woman who will take accountability for her actions is an *exceptionally* rare breed.
Indeed, i'm 57 and known two.
Yes, guys are very much like cats, feed us something we like and we are yours. At heart really we are very simple creatures, we just want to know somebody cares. Also, a relationship of any sort isn't about staying even, it's about getting enough appreciation to be content. Trying to stay even will destroy any relationship, including simple friendship. It's far too easy to get the math wrong on that equation because it's purely subjective. And yes, enjoy the things your partner enjoys, if for no other reason than you are with your partner. Don't convince yourself you are doing something you hate just so the other person "owes you" - enjoy it because it makes them happy. And this goes back into that "don't make it about being even." You will never be happy with that, nor will the other person.
Emily, this is the third or fourth video of yours I've stumbled on. You are brilliant. :)
Listen 😂 no man is "enjoying" Twilight because his girl likes it. I don't think everyone needs to absorb their partners interests and hobbies although if their diametrically opposed, it can be an issue.
@@tunkytunky Then find some other way to enjoy your time together. Like with the guy on the beach playing with his remote control toys in the sand while his wife sunbathed. Now me, I didn't mind the first Twilight, I didn't even have a GF to coerce me into it. I was curious what all the hype was about. That thing about vampires sparkling in sunlight was bogus, but I didn't mind the rest of the movie. But once I figured out what the formula was, I was done with the series. The original stories were from fan-fiction porn, but guys happily watch far worse stories in our porn.
For me personally, the number 1 thing I look for is honesty.
Don't play stupid games, just say straight up what's on your mind, because that's what I do. I say exactly what I mean with no hidden implications or agendas. If you ask me "does this make me look fat?" and the answer is yes, I'm saying yes and I expect you to do the same.
My buddy had a horrible marriage in his 20s
It was so bad that he said with complete resolve, He will not get married ever again.
And it seemed to be true as he had a girlfriend and adamantly maintained he would never get married again. And to be fair, she was an anchor around his neck. But okay, to be around. They, of course, did not work out.
FF to current girl
She has done so many things to make him happy
And he does so many things for her happiness.
And this man, who was so against marriage before
Is now talking about getting married to her.
And she is a really good person for him.
And he treats her very well.
I’ve ALWAYS said to myself since before I was even out of HS that I’d only ever get married once. That 1st time was at 43. Now I’m 53. The marriage was 9yr and I’m still maintaining that line of thought, because it was to gut wrenching the 1st time and I don’t EVER want to go through that bad part again!
Tell him don't, she will change completely after the wedding. He's been warned!!
@TimeGoes-b7x Why so negative? There are still plenty of good women out there!
OMG video 1 was way more than making a sandwich. She could've just slapped some ham and mayo on bread, she put multiple ingredients on that Sandwich. She put forth a lot of effort into it. She then put effort into other things in his lunch. She thought Abt him and wanted him happy. That's why that's love
AND it looks like good (large enough for MOST men) portions as well. THAT’S love. I’ve had lunch put together for me by my NOW former wife that left me wanting for more to eat no matter what time of day it was, even after supper on Sunday unless we were going out to eat and then she wasn’t going to eat all of hers and I got to finish it. Why should a man go hungry in the Western society! Since she divorced ME, I’m actually gaining weight now and I’m happier than I’ve been in a LONG LONG TIME! 🫡👍
For me it was the video of the guy with the dump truck and shovel. You can tell the dude is having the time of his life. And she is there watching him enjoy it. Most would call him out for being immature and embarrassing her with that. Kind of like how some will mock the guy for being into video games with his buddies.
@@gabem6863I wouldn’t just watch I’d probably have my own! In many ways I prefer men to women as I am also very young at heart. I can certainly cook and clean but it’s important to make time for our toys! 😂
Respect, laughter, peace, thoughtfulness, a meal, a rub, and respect.
Emily I absolutely LOVE your videos and your depth of understanding about Men in r/ships !! To see a woman in her natural state and still find her Gorgeous, to laugh at simple silly things together, to feel the Luv dripping off every mouthful of food she has prepared for you, to bask in the silent affection/ reassurance of her touch when together, and to be able to stand back and watch her express her happiness and connection with her friends without feeling threatened, inadequate, or at risk, are all Melting moments I remember from being in relationships in my past. I've now been single for approx. 10 yrs and may never know these Joys again but I Love that there are women out there such as yourself that DO actually understand what it takes and are trying your best to wake up others with your Wisdom. Thanx so much
I find that when a woman accepts me as I am (values, desires, curiosity, playfulness) and I can relax, simply being who I am while she is who she enjoys being herself, she is beautiful. My being able to relax and simply be who I am with another person, a woman, allows me to relax, to notice and enjoy who she is being, to enjoy the space of love and acceptance we have created with each other is a gift beyond words. .
About attraction: No man worth a damn prefers to see his woman with someone else’s face painted on her head. Fresh out of the shower, or all rumpled in the morning light lying beside me…. That’s what gets us. There is only one thing you can do that makes you more beautiful than that.
Look at us with admiration in your eyes. A woman who can do that will be the most beautiful woman in the world for any man, regardless of her age.
Because, ladies, when we see you looking at us like that, we strive even harder to be worthy of it.
And there is no greater sorrow a man can endure than watching that light in his woman’s eyes fade and go out.
If you can’t find it in you to feel that regard for your husband, consider this; a man will walk away from everything he has built, everything he owns, just for that feeling of seeing that light in a woman’s eyes.
We do not really go for ‘younger’ women, We go for women who are not jaded. Women still capable of feeling admiration for a good man.
Well, admiration has to be earned, right? Lots of men, after years in a relationship, get emotionally lazy and stop doing anything for their wives to admire, like ignoring her unless he wants sex, not taking her out for special dates, not fixing anything around the house when asked, refusing to have a conversation and stonewalling when she wants to discuss issues. Women would LOVE to admire a man who is their "knight in shining armor" but so many men stop giving any love or appreciation to their woman, while he just keeps on taking. No wonder "that light" goes out in many women's eyes when they feel emotionally neglected.
@@INOD-2 women need to own their own part in that, because men shut down in the face of constantly being told they are wrong.
Not to say every man is a great guy. But certainly not every woman is innocent of dropping the ball, closing off physically, or treating their man dismissively.
The hardest thing in the world for anyone, man or woman, to do is to understand their own responsibility for what you choose to believe about your mate.
We all marry a hero, and we all divorce a villain, and the only thing that has really changed is what we believe about our mate. Actions we once saw as romantics we may decide to see as manipulative. Injuries we once dismissed as unintended, we might decide are intentionally hurtful. With each small revision in our own theory of our love, we alter how we interpret their actions. And that alters how we respond to them. Once we choose to believe them capable of cruelty, it makes it that much easier to believe something even worse.
And so we slowly re-write our image of our mate, from our fiction of a romantic hero or heroine, to just as much of a fiction of them as a villain.
And we tell ourselves that we see them truly. Oblivious to our own part in all the small choices we made to think less of them.
Couples that last are the ones who are both capable of retaining high regard for their mate. The people who look to themselves first, fr what they might not be doing right, rather than jump to assign ignoble motive to our love. None of us are perfect. We are horribly clumsy in our affections, and can not help but hurt one another now and then.
But the couples that last look at their mates flaws and foibles and accept there there may be nothing they ask you to suffer in them that is any worse than what you ask them to suffer in you.
Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- it’s the most eloquent treatment of love ever put on film.
@@INOD-2 PS- what is worthy of admiration needs to be recognized. We tend to start off appreciating and admiring one another’s efforts, and then take them for granted.
As a man. If a woman looks at me with admiration, that fuels my efforts. When she calls me lazy, even though I am working an exhausting job, 50 hours a week, because she is not there to witness to how hard I work, and so disregards it or, worse, thinks striving for a good paying career is “having fun” so does not “count” as work ( I have had more than one woman take that attitude toward my job ) then that literally punishes my efforts. I am sure that when a man fails to express appreciation for what a woman does for him, and the family, that she feels similarly dispirited.
The solution to this is NOT to stop admiring one another. It is to remind ourselves what we have begun to take for granted.
@@christopherpardell4418 I actually AGREE with everything you wrote in both of your replies. When one of the couple--man OR woman (or both)-- starts taking the other for granted and no longer expresses appreciation, it does not bode well for the future of the relationship. If both are willing to have a frank discussion about their needs, and each own their part of the issue, then things can be worked out to the benefit of both. When one or both stonewall, and refuse to discuss anything, but just want to pretend there is no problem, it's the beginning of the end. I read a quote once, "Many relationships end because of the conversations that didn't happen." BOTH have to be willing to communicate and listen!
@@INOD-2
There is a troll in every platform that has to shit all over everything to make themselves feel relevant. I just want to make sure you know you have mastered your craft.
Have you ever wondered why guys always went for the cheerleaders in school? Not necessarily the way they look physically, but because they want someone who will cheer them on in life! Someone who will cheer for them as they go through the grind. Someone who will be there when they come off the field beat up and bruised, and someone who will bandage their wounds and encourage and support them to get right back out there until he wins. They want a loyal partner that will support him through everything and be the queen by his side at the end. If you do that, I guarantee your man will give you everything he can in return.
For me it was the flexibility ;)
(A flexible body lends a flexible mind)
Damn, your cheerleaders were kind? Mine were snobby as hell
That's kind of inciteful dude.
Yeah great stuff.
It was 100% how they look. Dudes didn't date them for their snobby stuck up personalities for sure
You have to qualify your statement with 'good men' because women chase the dark triad dudes and blame all men for their horrific choices in men. Outside of that I agree 100% with you.
Hell, if I have to get up through the night and throw a brisket on the smoker in my pj's and bed head in order to make my man a brisket sandwich for lunch, he damn will get that sandwich no matter what! I LOVE when my man's belly is full and HAPPY! If my man wakes up wanting a "piece", for the things he does for me on a daily basis, he's damn straight gonna get himself some...YES, hawk taw gentlemen!! He's seen me at my absolute WORST and my absolute BEST. He takes me for the good, the bad AND the ugly and that means the World to me because on an "average" day, I can shower, throw my hair up and off we go in 30 minutes. I'm a "what you see is what you get" kinda gal and he loves that about me. He's a straight shooter, never candy coats things and I appreciate and respect that about him because I'm the same way. We are both each other's cheerleader! I'm happy to say that I bring out his "goofy side" and it's an absolute BLAST. We laugh a lot(mostly at each other..LOL) and cry a little and it's an amazing feeling and I want everyone to have that feeling to! When you FINALLY find someone with the same morals, values and beliefs as you have it makes things much easier even through those tough times.
You are a gem, one in a billion.
Your man is a lucky guy. May all of us find a woman with your attitude.
@@MrFox-rf3cu Bless you Sir...I'm a little thick headed at times and a whole lot stubborn😁, but eventually I gave in and won the battle with myself..lol
@@madhatter9001 I appreciate that, thank you...LOTS and I mean LOTS of living and learning...lol. She's out there darlin, she's just trying to hopefully find herself like I did.
It sounds like you and your husband have both found what really matters in a successful, realistic, loving relationship. You both have won the lottery in life.
I am a man from England and it is my opinion that you know men extremely well indeed, Your video has educational to both men and women so thank you very much.
As a man, your first statements about how women are raised vs how men are raised was dead on!
You just posted! My husband and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary on August 25, 2024… together faithfully 21 years this past February. I genuinely appreciate your videos, Emily. It does give me hope for our own sons when they’re ready for commitment and family. I hope their dad and I have set a great example on what a strong marriage looks like. 💞💕💞
We celebrate our 34th on August 25, 2024. Happy anniversary
We just celebrated our 28th on July 6th, at my younger son's wedding! By coincidence, we now have the same anniversary date.
You wouldn't have a sister just like you would you lol 39 no kids still looking for my forever woman 😢
@@MrFox-rf3cu awww how sweet!
@@graftonarchery2713 congrats! And thanks!
Shes absolutely right about this and she's so balanced in her approach thank god
My 61-year-old Russian sweetheart is gorgeous. No tats, no piercings, no makeup, no "work", just natural beauty. I first fell in love with her smile. The air around her glows when she smiles because it's absolutely genuine. She also teaches yoga, loves to cook, has a master's in German lit, and speaks 3 languages. I know when I've hit the jackpot but it took 72 years to find her.
What I've noticed about American women is that they no longer know how to be charming unless they were raised in the South.
72+18=90. Good for you for finding one 30 years younger.
My German sweetheart was the same way.
Respect my work and sleep schedule.
Match my work ethic.
Help to actively remove unnecessary chaos from our life.
Your common sense & level headed messages are spot on for all couples to listen to. As a guy, I enjoy your tips for woman. 99% spot on. For a man, Loyalty trumps Looks! Having and making plans & goals as a couple help keep things together!
A man who loves his woman will ALWAYS see her just as he saw her the very first time
Not all
That's how it was for me, I knew it wasn't the truth, but for more than 2 decades when I thought of her I still thought of the cute 16 yo with the big blue eyes and the shy smile.
until she reveals he loves a con artist
Every woman needs to see this and hear this. You are spot on! Beauty is not in the makeup, it is under the makeup.
Yes! And the thing is, we're taught to treat women by following "rules" rather than just asking her what she needs.
I think that's the big issue. Both men and women are taught to follow rules. And that kind of worked out decades ago in the western sphere, even if those rules were exploitable, because most everybody at least knew what the rules were.
But now everybody is trying to both change the rules and follow them rigidly. They're establishing new rules without telling the people they're meant for. They're changing old rules without considering what those rules were for.
You don't need rules in a healthy relationship, you need boundaries and communication.
My husband and I both have changed. We are secure knowing we can grow and change together and not lose each other.
The woman you are really involved with won’t appear until AFTER you’re married.
All 3 videos were great! A lot of truth to them.
Most women just want a relationship that is easy. When things get hard or the day to day gets boring, they become "Unhappy"
Bingo!
I don’t know about most men, but what I find hard to find in a woman today is complete complete honestly truthfulness kindness and caring. Never lie if you do come back and apologize tell it man you’re sorry. Show me my affection. He wants affection. I don’t care who he is. I don’t care how rough he is how big how gruff it don’t matter, man wants affection from his woman, he wants to know that she loves and he wants to know when he walks away and another man approaches her. She put him in his place immediately because he’s gonna do that with women if he cares about you and loves you he’s gonna put that woman in her place very quickly and one more thing this is gonna sound harsh, but it’s honesty. If you really don’t wanna know answer to one of the questions that you were asking me I don’t know about most men. If you really don’t wanna know that answer don’t ask me. I’m not I’m gonna tell you straight up the truth, all men and women or be with their spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend and I believe that helps the relationship build grow stronger. If you can’t trust each other you don’t have nothing Mark out.
I value in a woman authenticity. I don’t need a woman to pack my lunch like I’m a baby going to pre-school. That’s not “wife” things. That’s “mother” things. I want a woman who might take her own initiative to show affection, but not be too clingy. I want in a woman someone who doesn’t need retail therapy, but realises that good mental health comes with fitness and diet. Superficiality is a turn off.
From a woman who loves to cook for her man: I don’t do it to mother him, I do it because I care and I know he loves my cooking. I know he is a grown man and can cook his own lunch (and has cooked for two when I’ve been sick or stuck at work).
I also know the food at his work is terrible and doesn’t have enough protein or healthy carbs so I gladly make him to-go meals and sandwiches.
It’s a way a lot of people show affection and I hope someone makes you feel appreciated with a good, warm home-cooked meal someday.
@@tiphainer7143 Both (your's and ggmiethe's) of your posts are right. I agree, a lady making food for her man is not mothering him, but in his 2nd half of his post has weight to it.
No drama.
No chaos.
No games.
*Apriciation
*Resiprication
*Real equality, and i mean REAL equality.
*The less makeup, the better.
*Equally initiative
Love, relationships and marrige should NEVER be a buusness transaction.
It should ALLWAYS be a 2way Highway
You go queen!🎉
I believe the information shared is excellent and so true. What I do have to bring awareness to is “being the woman he fell in love with”
I have an issue with this statement as specifically woman Will go through change when they go through motherhood. And that statement is what’s stuck in most people’s minds and it causes a lot of pain to men & women. As a student midwife, the lead midwives would sit down with the soon to be new Ma & dad and explain how they can experience a lot of change and to love each other through it and Talk about what’s happening.. I could go on but I doubt most could disagree that parenthood changes people and this causes a lot of issues where it shouldn’t in a healthy loving relationship
Some clichés exist for a reason, and the adage of "quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is pretty spot on.
Edit: A woman recently cooked for me as our 2nd date. I could not stop smiling & feeling spoiled. Instantly smitten.
Food and Hawk tuah takes a woman long way.
100%. I met my wife because she would bring cookies every week to the same volleyball outings we both attended.
I asked a friend to introduce me to the “cookie girl”. We’ve been married for 15 years. I work my ass off, she stays at home with our four kids (her dream) and she still takes care of people’s needs to this day and I take care of her needs as well.
It’s really simple, it doesn’t have to be complicated.
@@holmessph7 , it can come complicated if she example start to deny intimacy from husband. The guy can't really start to demand it very strongly, because then he feel that she is forced to do it and men don't like that.
One good idea is to get a new piggy bank, each time you have good intimate moment, put 2 euros to the piggy bank, when december comes, you use the money ftom piggy bank to buy her xmas gift, so it's completely up to her how expensive her gift will be, if having intimate moment every day, it's 365x 2€ = 730 euro gift, not bad at all.
Small tip, don't choose a pig looking piggy bank, cat looking bank is much better.
@@petertraveller6421
Guy's talking about his own life. He was also responding to my OP & not to you.
Your unsolicited negativity can leave.
You are right women are taught how they should be treated and not how to treat their man!!
I will tell a brief story. A mother on a podcast once described how she taught her children about interacting with the other sex. She told her daughter that there will naturally be some tension with men but not to be afraid of it; it was an encouraging and reassuring tone. Meanwhile, she told her son, "you will respect women;" more of a tone of admonition and lecturing. Of course, I want to treat women with infinite respect, but I thought the difference in tone was noteworthy.
As for what I want in a relationship, I want a woman for whom I will be motivated to dedicate my entire life and who will appreciate me for it. I want someone who will show her love in her words by saying such things as "I love you, I support you, you got this." As a blind person, I focus more on a woman's voice, so a woman saying such things in her own voice means so much. I want someone who will also show physical affection through things like holding hands and hugging; it doesn't always have to be sex. I may work in very hostile environments so I can make the money we need, and such expressions of love from a woman would give me real strength.
Everything you mentioned is spot on. It helps to be reminded that for all I am giving, it is not too much to ask for these things in return.
We are not here to make them happy; we want a happy and caring woman from the start. We want a partner in making things work not a boss that disrespects us because we didn't do something. we are not mind readers and will miss most of your signals. Just straight up and say what you want. We are simple creatures; it doesn't take much to please us. Let us have our downtime space. It is how we recharge.
Whenever I wake up first. Than gaze upon her as she is sleeping. It's my favorite!
So true. Divorced and in my 50s I see so many women who don't do their part. They want the man. They want the gentleman. They want the marriage. But they dont seem to want to be caring, be a "wife" or really put in any effort at all other than what it takes to "win" a guy.
They want to be the bride-to stand in front of everyone and have all the eyes on her only. But now few have what it takes to be a wife. To do the hard work that starts the day after the wedding ceremony.
I’ve done this. Never worked for me, but I love to see that this worked for other women. ❤
As the song I grew up on says, it's "all the small things". You're absolutely right, we value authenticity and consistency above anything else.
The thing I crave is Peace. I work long hours and shifts, sometimes stressful . On my time off I enjoy the peace, quiet and time to enjoy my hobbies.
REALLY LOVE YOUR UNDERSTANDING A MANS LANGUAGE, EMILY... YOU ARE RIGHT ON!!!😊
Anyone can make their own sandwich or coffee. It was the expression of acknowledgement and care everyday which was touching.
Since you asked, these are what men look for in a wife,
1. loyalty 2. respect 3. cooperation 4. energy and 5 family.
Couldn't find a top place for sex or love, wonder why.
I've watched lots of your videos. I have never commented before. I just want you to know that you absolutely get it. Women - this girl absolutely gets it. Bottle her and channel her energy. I'm extremely fortunate that I'm with an amazing woman who understands this stuff. Keep up the extraordinary work Emily!
I dated a guy that never said what he wanted, until the day he broke up with me. He wanted me to sell my house, it came as a surprise to me, he did not own a house. I did not realize my owning a house was a problem for him.
The time we spent together was always at his rented house. Still I did not see a problem. I brought groceries, gifts, planned fun events and I was alway's willing to do whatever he wanted.
I cooked, cleaned, did yard work. After we were no longer together I heard through the grapevine he had married almost as soon as he broke off with me and that she was spending alot of money on him, she bought him a Harley, they moved to another state and set up in an apartment, I haven't heard from or about him since. I have not dated since.
That guy is a grifter
Men are simple creatures
Respect
Belly full
Balls empty
Peace
😂
When a man is just staring at a wall with a seemingly no emotional look to them; he’s perfectly content just staring at the wall. He’s freeing his mind in the beginning and then thinking about what to do after a nice wall stare.
holy shit I did that today, while holding my phone in my hand. Somebody thought I was recording...... haha
My dad used to sit on a river bank for hours, staring at the water. With a fishing rod next to him, propped up in a forked stick, line in the water. Sometimes we'd all be sitting in our spots around a dam, fishing in silence. It was only when I grew up that I realised it wasn't about the fish.
Shakespeare nailed love 400 years ago.
"Love os not love that alters when alteration finds."
I fell in live with a woman. She isn't some improvement project. I love her as is. Women seem to fall in love with what they can turn a man into, not who he is. Which is insulting on the face of it. She has to train you to meet her whims before she'll love you? And we all know if she does train you she'll leave because you're not exciting any more.
I have found myself just wanting to hear Emily’s voice. I wished I could add and perpetuate the conversation. She sounds lovely.
For me, it is marry your best friend. Think about a true best friend if you're lucky enough to have or had one. They trusted you, they never disrespected you, they were there when you needed them, they laughed with you and at you and at themselves (sense of humor), you argued or had a fight, but at the end of the day, you both still wanted to be friends. I, in my 2nd marriage of 32 yrs now, was lucky enough to find that best friend i could fall in love with! Last, but not least, the special intimacy that we share. She let's me know often that I'm her man and no one else. 😊😊
"Not how to be treated by a woman" I would go one further and claim that women aren't even taught how to treat men and I honestly don't believe that the dynamics are that women love like we men do.
We look for someone to love. Women look for someone to love them. I also often don't think women even love men. They just accept the love he gives without much reciprocity at all.
It is very sad to hear (well, read) you say this because there are loving women who genuinely love their partners and enjoy serving them. I’ll admit it is not very common in this society, but they exist.
Men see love as a life long commitment. Women see love as emotional lust that changes over the most trivial factors like his socks didnt match his shirt or there is a new guy in the neighborhood. I am sure there are exceptions and they are extremely rare it is true that most women don't love men they love what he does for them. That is why they can monkey branch so easily.
@@elonever.2.071 facts
@@lunava5489 I would wager good money that the phrase you used "Not very common" is a massive over statement about how many exist.
Men constantly struggle and walk on glass in the real world. the last thing they want to do when they go home is the same thing. Home is supposed to be the time away from that.
Women expect a man to be the cruise director in the relationship. Let's go here, let's do this, etc. That gets extremely tiring very quickly.
No, she wants the man to lead.
And....the financeer of all of it.
In regards to the "men not being taught how to be treated by a woman," i completely agree. Im fortunate to have had a close female friend who has been there with me through my dating journey and reminding me that i deserve to be appreciated. Men and Women both deserve to be appreciated and wanted by the person they're dating.
When it comes to "looks without makeup" there's something kind of special and secret about getting to see your partner in a way that she wouldn't present herself to anyone else. It shows a level of trust and understanding. Like, absolutely, we like it when you dress up and care about your appearance. In fact, we need both. But it's something special when we can go out in public with you all dressed up and perfectly put together, and know that while this is the side of you that everyone gets to see, the side of you where you're sick in bed, or ugly crying, or exhausted, or just having fun without a care, that these things are kind of reserved for us.
Now, if you only put forth extra effort when we're not around, when you're going out with your girlfriends, and when going out on a date with us, it's not worth the bother to do your hair, maybe we'll start to feel a bit bad. But it's not really about how you look, it's about how you show your commitment and trust and care for us. If you don't let anyone see you without makeup, but you let us see you without makeup, that makes it special. If you're afraid of other people judging you without makeup, but you're not afraid of us, that shows you trust us, it shows you believe us when we say we love you. And it's a lot easier to believe that it goes both ways when you show that you believe us.
I'll give a secret. Guys, once they have a girl, unless that girl becomes a real problem, or stops sharing affection with them, they're happy. They don't need anything more, they're just worried that she's going to find a reason to get bored of them. If you're acting like him seeing you without makeup is going to make him feel worse about you, the main thing that's going to do is make him realize that there are things about you that she will feel worse about you for if you share them. But from the guy's point of view, realistically, once he's in love with you, everything about you is fine. He'll treat you like a part of himself. If you do something weird or embarrassing, he's going to feel proud, because that's a secret.
That's the thing. Like if you have a girl, who, a year into your relationship, you find out she secretly likes to play vintage video games, unless that causes a problem, like she spends all your money on it or won't come to bed because she's busy playing them, the guy is going to just think that's awesome, even if she's embarrassed by it. If you find out your girl is secretly deep into writing erotic fan fiction, again, unless it starts to cause a problem in the relationship, it's going to be fun, especially if it's a bit of a secret.
But I find often it's the other way with guys. If into a relationship a guy starts to show habits that are kind of feminine, maybe he likes to watch romantic movies and cries during them, women feel like they'll constantly be judging. Like, that's liable to be someone's ick. They won't appreciate finding out your secret. Even if it's still more typically male, like if you have a big lego collection, or you like to paint warhammer figurines, there's a lot of women who will take that poorly, because it's not their ideal mate.
But there's not many guys who are going to kick their women to the curb because they find out that they're secretly football fans, or they like to watch World War 2 documentaries. Guys will find that awesome. And if they're super into feminine hobbies, that's totally fine too. Again, all of this as long as they're not spending all of his money or withholding sex because of it. I love that my wife has a number of weird hobbies. For myself though, I present myself differently to her. I don't give up my own hobbies, nor does she restrict me from them, but they're not appreciated. They're not something she'd brag about to her girlfriends. But you better believe that if a guy's girlfriend was big into painting warhammer or fantasy football, he's going to be torn between keeping that private secret secret, or sharing with his friends how awesome his girlfriend's hobbies are. On the other hand, if the guy secretly cries in romantic movies, it's not going to be bragging she's going to be doing with her girlfriends.
When guys love a girl, it's like everything's pretty much fine from there on out as long as they don't make their life hell, or stop being willing to have sex. But I think in the other direction, a guy is constantly being re-evaluated. Is it still worth it? Can I risk trying to do better? Is he doing enough? But for a guy, as long as life with her is better than life without, he feels like the luckiest man out there. Someone who cares about him, has sex with him, AND doesn't make his life hell? Did I win the lottery? And that's not even low standards, I think most men can't find all 3, they're a bit of a unicorn just because of how inwardly focused, and how ready to jump to the next guy so many women are today.
Appreciation, respect, loyalty. The built-in inherently-desired traits that are like the strongest glue holding a relationship together.
More women need to watch your video's!!
Emily, were you a man in another life? Because you seem to get us. It's really encouraging to see someone who understands us. Women just normally don't seem to understand us, and we're not complicated.
I desire peace, a soft caring voice after a hard day, and understanding
Peace in the home, respect, and loyalty. That’s it.
3:20 - I think that with few exceptions, people do change over time, even if it's hard to notice. What I think is a better way of describing couples where the disparity of growth creates problems is this... it's not so much that one person grew and the other didn't, it's that they didn't grow together. I think that a couple that grows together, who they were when they were married is much less important.
As far as generalized desires, most people in the comments have hit it...
1. Peace - In this world of chaos and insanity, men want their s/o to be their peaceful, tranquil, safe place.
2. Loyalty - Loyalty for sure, but on the other side of the loyalty coin is support.
3. Physical Intimacy - Best way to express love for a man, AND... the easiest way to allow a man to show his s/o love as well.
These 3 are obviously aren't exclusive, universal, or complete...this is a comments section, not a novel 😅😅.
Love your videos! Sometimes it's nice to see that there are women that understand more than what they might have grown up believing, or what mainstream society puts out there. Thanks!