Anger Management: Protect your mind!
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- čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
- Dr. Christian Conte, a Level V Anger Management Specialist, describes a powerful metaphor and a practical technique to help you rethink and manage your anger. Visit www.DrChristianConte.com for more.
Find Dr. Conte on Twitter @Dr_Conte for daily inspirational sayings.
Instagram: @drchristianconte
Dr. Conte is the creator of Yield Theory, an evidenced-based model of change utilizing radical compassion, conscious education, and creativity.
![R.C. Sproul [ How To Deal With Anger ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MhgdYK9vVLA/mqdefault.jpg)
One of most useful things I have learned for years. You are genius. Thanks
Thank you so, so much. I really appreciate hearing that. I wish you much peace.
I am surrounded by people who lacking peace. Maybe we all are. That is why your message is so important!!!
Paul Chan I agree. I think we are all lost in some ways... but we all also have moments of clarity; so to me, I guess the best thing we can do is set aside judgment and be the light for others wherever or whenever we can. Thank you again for your kind words!
Thankyou for restating something I heard many years ago, learned by rote, and failed to employ:
"If you can keep your head, when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you... You'll be a man, my son."
"He who angers you, controls you." -Anonymous
Dude you don’t look like a Dr. you’re relatable and I really enjoy your content.
I bought your book... Walking Through Anger... loving kindness is really helpful
Keep sending these reminders. I need them. 🙏
"ALIGN YOUR expectations with reality.. " nice clarity to go by..
I am in counseling for anxiety, depression, anger issues and PTSD. You are right.
Thank You Dr. Conte!! I have an anger problem that I have to start getting under control. This is a very great explanation to start out with. I have Aspergers Syndrome.
You're definitely welcome, and thank you for taking the time to say kind words. Anger is tough for sure, but it's absolutely possible to get under control, so keep working on it, and be easy on yourself if you mess up. Sending you all the best and much peace.
My anger has never gotten me in legal trouble. I’ve been able to contain a level of acceptability in my outbursts since I was 14, but I am not a child. I am a grown man with a wife and a child of my own, but still with the temperament of that pestilent teenager. I have to start to control myself and my outbursts. I don’t want to yell or slam doors around my wife and my daughter (or at all)
My wife had an emotionally abusive upbringing and every time I escalate I see her shrink. I hate myself for it. I’ve said more times than I’ve blinked that I would change. I can’t. I’m at a loss. I hate myself
You are so much more mature and emotionally developed than many others with your problem. You see how your anger effects people you love, you're ashamed of that, and you're willing to discuss it, even if it's just in some random comment section. Because of that your heart and mind will focus on trying to solve that problem and not let it get out of hand. Many people never get to that step and therefore never get better, they just continue to hurt others.
There will be different things that appear to you, you'll be offered self-calming techniques to deal with your anger, you'll be lead to investigate the roots of it psychologically and many other methods. And you're so loving of both yourself and others that you'll take them. And even if the specific methods don't work the effort you make itself will be enough, and you will become kinder, more patient and better.
Right now you're in the stage where you're watching your anger, and you are the most ashamed of it because you cannot yet control it. You're on the first step on the journey. Know this brother, I know that you are suffering, and we both know you are suffering righteously and with hope of being better in your heart. I am proud of you for that, and you, your wife, and your child should be too
Keep fighting the good fight
Ugh I needed this. People have been testing my patience while I've been on this journey of finding peace it's been a hard road. I appreciate your straightforward explanations that really make you think. keep them coming!
Thank you so much. Yes, and the crazy reality is that people will continually test your patience for sure - so keep practicing your patience, and remember: We master what we practice. Sending you all the best and much peace!
Wise words dude.Recovering my Power of MY MIND.BLESS U.
Dr. Conte! Your videos are awesome. Your advice has been so valuable. Taking my power back and not handing it over to those I'm triggered by.., it's amazing. Lots of work and contined therapy ahead, but the peace of mind that I've been catching glimpses of more recently .., wow!
Thank you Emily! I appreciate hearing that so much. I'm so pumped that you're working on keeping your power. Please know I'm sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I think this is a great example of what he wants to say. Even though in some situations you have to react, like when the master asks for the student legs. Yet in the story that reaction isn't driven by anger, it's defensive. In the state of rage strength is beset by a mind, and body that is not ones own.
Just wanted to say thank you doctor! Really guiding me out of some darkness
Man I'm so grateful to hear these videos are helping, and I appreciate your kind words, but I also really want to share with you that there's another side to darkness for sure, so no matter what - hang in there! Sending you much peace!
honestly sometimes its so hard to be the bigger person. How do you not look like a punk in a situation doing the right thing?
Usefull advice.
I'm happy when i successfully make it from point A to point B without getting crashed into, shot or break down in traffic. Miami reality, Thanks for you videos Dr.
Amazing message! Thank you.
Simple wisdom, but wisdom that I missed. Thank you for this video!
So true! I must stop giving away my power.
me too x
Excellent
Wonderful video Dr. Conte
Thank you so much James! Much peace!
Your Stories Are mind Blowing. #Genius indeed
Thank you so much! I love telling stories! Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
You have no Idea how helpful your videos are. Please continue this great work. All the best wishes to you. Thank you.
Hemant Mane Thank you so much! 🙏🏼 Definitely sending you much gratitude and peace!
Thank you Doc!
Thank you
What an amazing video as always Dr. Conte. When you got to the "moral/punch line" of the story I was floored, it just left me sitting here with my mouth and eyes wide open. Lots to reflect on and think about here. Thank you deeply for all the help!
Thank you Dr Conte for another amazing video. Your videos truly inspire me to apply this ideology in my life. We need more videos like yours in the world. Anyone can apply this to their life no matter who they are.
Brad This Is Urgent Thank you brother! 🙏🏼 Much peace!
a lot of stuff just came off my chest. Thank you
100% Sending you much peace!
great vids i use this mind set everyday in my life sense i seen this video thank you.
That story was extremely useful for my life. I've given away my power (and my sanity) too many times.
Aligning my expectations with reality! Not cartoon world! 1st saw this dr video in my prison anger management class! Love all his videos! This 1 is extremely helpful!! Thx DR. Conte!!!
Brilliant ,
Most inspirational and self extraordinary !!
Cristal clear
Thank you
Analogy Gems!!!
Another great story with a deep life lesson. Thank You God Bless You and your Family
This is a good one. Thank you. 🙏🌱✨
Chris, Very good advice 👌
This helps and usually not a lot doea. I have severe anger management issues that are only triggered by some things. I live in an apartment and a bad neighbor (like blasting music or stinking up the place with skunk weed) makes my blood boil and I do not hesitate to bully the hell out of them. But it's a bad way to live.
Thank you for the video. I'm a drug and alcohol counselor and will be utilizing this video in my group tonight. Good stuff.
Connor mcgreggor needs this
Keep up the Great work Dr. Conte...💪
Thnx for doing this video. Loving your advice. Keep them coming plz :)
+Suzie Charles Thank you! I will for sure. Much peace!
I got a kick outta this youre awesome
Damn, I needed this message
You're awesome on Family Therapy!
+VIRAL.KING Thank you so much. I appreciate your words. I definitely love what I do for a living. Much peace!
Thank you. This reminds me of a message in 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale where he says that basically says that you alone decide how you react to situations. Pause a second to think about how you WANT to react. Also, we're all battling to keep the chimp brain in check.
Thanks so much. It's been many years since I read that book, but yes, it certainly sounds like the same concept. Sending you all the best brother!
You're examples/stories are very powerful - incredibly effective for understanding the message and retaining it. Have a great weekend! #GoodVibes
Steve Toma I appreciate you brother! Sending you much peace!
I feel like anger is the most important thing people need to control
definitely THE best metaphor i've EVER heard of!! 😀👏👏👍🏼 NICE!!
Thank you so much , very nice examples
Thank you.
Now I know why I love cartoons so much ! Your'e an aborable man :)
lol. So funny! Yes, we all do! Sending you all the best and much peace!
thank you for sharing...
Your channel is great thank you for your advice and help, i try to control my anger but it gets the better of me a lot and I leash out and say things I don't mean and destroy items that people loved ones have given me and I feel horrible that I destroy them after I calm down and then I feel worse
I am really really fond of your speach ...I do not have words to explain ..hiw much benfit I can grasp from your videos..great job
Thank you so much! I definitely put my heart and soul into what I do. Sending you tons of peace!
Thank is brilliant Dr. Thank you very much. That really helping me.
Thank you so much! Sending you much peace!
U r awesome ❤️
Great job Thanks
Wow ❤️
You have helped me so much
Brother this story is so amazing! I enjoyed the part about the physical is a no-brainer to protect but we must protect our mind as well. #Blessings#Goodvibes to you & your fam from Canada!
Good work
Thanks this helped me alot learning how to control my mental.. 💪
You say it so we can all (...or almost all) of us can make sense and relate to the examples you set forth in your videos. The trick is - what I believe, is to be able to take control at a split second. To think fast and act appropriately. This takes training of the mind and getting into a habit of doing so. So how does one practice this if they are not confronted with such anarchy?
🤔hehehe doc gave me a thinking cap😁 cheers 👌
Thank you bro!
Wow I'm from London I just came across your videos because I was looking for anger management because I always react emotionally mostly over nothing. Specially in relationships I'm the worst. your videos are very helpful I will try my best to use the methods
+sweetybrownsugar sweetybrownsugar Awesome. Thank you so much!
Ok I should never expect to be happy and then life will meet my expectations. Got it!
Hey Yoli M,
I guess my experience of the phrase "Align your expectations with reality," means something very different than "expecting to never be happy." I think in any given day, we have successes and failures; but because the failures or let downs hurt so much, we seem to focus on them more than the successes. I would invite you (and all people) to shy away from expecting everything to be terrible and never be happy, because I believe that is just as unrealistic as expecting everything to be perfect. Instead, I would try to focus on expecting the reality that life has shown you to this point. In other words, people are good sometimes, and not so good sometimes. Things go our way sometimes, and sometimes they don't. People are kind and unkind, they are all things, in fact, and past behavior of any individual is usually the best indicator of future behavior. That's not to say that people can't change, because they certainly can; it just helps us to be prepared. For example, if I know a particular snake will bite me, then although it's definitely possible to be around that snake without being bitten, I should probably align my expectations with the reality that the snake is likely to bite me. Conversely, if I expect everything in my day to be terrible, then things could actually be going really well, but I am more likely to then look for the things that don't go my way. Our perspectives are powerful. In any case, I appreciate you watching this video, and I definitely wish you much peace!
All the best,
Dr. C
That was good🙏
This was good..thanks your work😎👍
+goldieyesgods Thank you so much! I wish you a ton of peace.
I refuse to be control by anybody..
hi doctor just discoverd your channal . and im in love with already . my problem os that i watch and read alot about these technique , but i never remmber them them when the anger's rage hit me . what should i do to remmber these techniques in the needed moment ?
and thankx alot keep the good work
Thank you so much. Remember that self-control and personal growth takes effort and practice. I would invite you to stay strong in your practice, and before you know it, you will find yourself much farther along than you realize. Sending you much peace!
Hello dr. I have a anger problem. It is distorting my relationship. I lose control and blurt out nasty things and throw things. I need help on finding the 1st steep on helping control myself. I feel like I lose myself when I get angry. I am great with people that aren't close to me and can brush things off because there words don't matter but anyone that is close has probably had backlash from me. I don't know what to do or the first step on how to help myself. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Kayla, Thanks so much for your honesty. It's true, so many people have an easier time being kind to strangers than to loved ones, but that's usually because we're concerned with what other people think, and we feel more free to let loose on those who are close to us (because we feel safe around our loved ones that they won't leave us). My challenge to you, however, would be to learn about the different ways you might allow yourself to be tied to others' emotions. The more you can separate others' emotions from your own, the less likely you will be to take things personally that aren't personal (even if they seem to be, and even if they come from people who are close to you). I hope this helps! Sending you all the best and much peace!
Great question. Self control really takes effort to master. The more thoughtful you can be at the start of every day about being intentionally in control all day, the more likely you will get there sooner than you think. Sending you much peace!
(I know this post is old, but I'll post to possibly help someone new coming along reading it) Kayla, I struggle with this too. I can handle strangers perceived slights better than someone I care about because I see that a stranger has no bond with me. They can't hurt me near as much. I look at someone close to me that hurts me as, "how can you do this to me? You're supposed to be the one that loves me. Why are you hurting me?!" And it caused me to get angry with them and to lash out at them. Once I started stepping back and looking at their reasons for doing what they did, it helped me. My perception of their perceived slight against me was often far from their reality. And much like the video shows, I started not giving up my power. I hope this makes sense.
Do you have any information that is specific to empathic people that have high sensitivities?..
I always have had issues with rage for as long as I can remember . I recently got into a situation where I assaulted my mother not purposely . But my stepdad had to hold me back . I got into it with her cause she wanted me to delete certain apps on my phone . I didn';t wanna delete my music off my phone or anything like that . I'm also a poet and my poetry that I post on Facebook is on my phone . I also am a Hip Hop head and support a lot of Hip Hop Artists
I will never get upset again
Amen...
acquiescence..file that way Conte...
Pero Antic, is that you? Btw, great story.
Dr. Conte I really like your channel, and this video. Can you elaborate please on how not to be affected by others' emotions. For instance, if someone is saying things to produce a reaction, how does one respond? Thanks so much!
Yes My Darling
if you are aware of what the other guy is doing, step back, take a breath and tell him that you know. and that he won't succeed. speaking this out loud makes it easier to believe yourself.
Yes, and if you get a chance, please check out my website, because I answer lots of similar questions all the time. Thank you for watching! Sending you much peace!
i have ocd which my anger worse
🎯🎯🎯🤯🤯🤯
I really want to be in a cartoon I want to know how a cartoon feels
I've tried but I just can't stop getting upset which is a shame because I would help any one who needed it. I am a good person, don't understand it.
Wut sup I love your vdo
Ok so then how am i suppose to quit getting anger bout reality when it seems like im the only one who sees it and everyone else is in the dream world
That guy looks like me in 50 years
i never expected too much from anyone. But when you mind your own business and do a good job others still have to screw with you. i don't seem to have this kind of mindset. thank God. I am content with myself .
Doctor How to make my emotions controllable? I mean to express them with awareness and not let them take the best of me whether it's with overwhelming happiness or gratitude To be balanced in good mind state because there are times when I am in situations where I get easily emotional when I really don't need to when I look back at it .
Patience. Patience. Patience. Honestly, meditation is such an unbelievable practice. Meditation is like exercise for your brain. I definitely recommend you beginning to check that out and see if it resonates with you. Sending you all the best and much peace!
Thank YOU! appreciate you taking the time to reply and for your advise..I am always known for my patience but lately I just cant anymore too much and always feel like exploding and not holding it back ..But I will try to meditate and control my self..Thanks Dr.Christian! :)
100%!
My husband always makes everything my fault. What's weird, is he always gets triggered in the morning. Well now that he has moved to another state, while I'm packing here, his expectations are that I won't get it done. I really think that he is trying to set me up for failure. I've gotten a lot better, but I'm no where we I need to be. Communication doesn't happen. And I really don't even know how to express myself. Dam, why can't people be nicer. Grow up and don't take life so seriously
God help me
No subtitles
Jonny lives in a house made of cake!
And what happens when the students Actually steal his legs and eyes..? Just sit back and do nothing?..
Driver on cell phone cuts off bike.. bike crashes causes rider hundreds of thousands in medical costs... reality
.. cough.. i call BS Counselor take your money to tell you what u wnna hear 💯 🤧