SUBMIT A STORY: azeal.me/submit Support the channel: azeal.me/patreon Twitter: azeal.me/twitter A person with DID describes their experiences in a VRChat storytime.
Hi everyone - we are the DID system from the CZcams video. I want to clear up some misconceptions we've seen in the comments - to do this video, we had to provide Azeal with 70+ pages of medical documentation. We are answering questions in the Discord server if you're interested in learning more. We've read every single comment thus far and just want to say thank you for all the kind words. - Spencer
@@PARKlNG Thank you! There've been far fewer ignorant comments than expected - when we had a TikTok, I'd estimate that 50% of the comments were ignorant or fakeclaiming? Azeal's comment section is much kinder than the ones we're used to and I'm very thankful for that. - Spencer
Hey, sorry if this is a little personal for you, but how many alters do you have, and what are their names, because I dont know if I should refer to individuals with DID as a group, or the singular personality they display in that moment.
You guys are doing great considering all the backlash you received I hope that things keep getting better after you had time to talk about it and exprese yourself PS: the joke I made in the comment section earlier was a joke I didn't mean to offend or belittle your condition
@@commandercorl1544 We gave Azeal the rough estimate of 26 - we don't actually have an exact count, nor do we want to take the long time to actually count. There's a fair few of us who speak in the discord, namely myself (Spencer), Callie, Avery and Az. If you don't know a DID systems pronouns, the plural or singular they/them works, and most people with DID have a "system name" (in our case, Zenith) which all alters kind of operate under, so we are typically referred to as a group in that regard. - Spencer
I dated a guy with DID and I will never forget it. I was dating the host and all the other alters were so nice to meet and I quickly made friends with any alter that I was able to meet. There was never a moment that he was ever mean. Even though things ultimately didn't work out I hope to never lose him as a friend. :)
Thats so cool, Im currently dating someone with DID and I'm dating the host. Ive learned that their alters also like me as a friend. They always work so hard to protect their host and I've told them all that's its ok and they can relax now and that ill make them happy and ill protect them by all means necessary. They haven't switched out in a long time but I'm not sure if its because of what I said or not
24:56 You can actually notice the change. She starts referring to things like she's representing a group, saying things like "we avoided telling our family", or "our mother started going to therapy", while in the previous alter, she referred to things as an individual, saying "I was able to recieve constant support" or "the therapist I was seeing at the time".
also the tone went from a sort of jovial person to a more serious person. They were moving their hands around a lot more in the second alter before going into their third alter of the Video.
If we weren't told in the video that Avery switched to Callie, I wouldn't have been able to notice I think. But when it swaps from Callie to Spencer, there was a very clear change in how they spoke and in their body language, as Random Voice Gamer pointed out with their hands moving a lot less.
we honestly really didnt even delve into our trauma bc there is so much shame that comes with the trauma necessary to form DID. we tossed a couple examples in that don't really have a hold of us anymore because we knew we'd get insensitive questions. we spent like a month prior to the actual video discussing the topics we wanted to cover w/ DID and ended up shelving talking about each of us (thats too much information, and many of us didn't want to be mentioned/involved) and settled with talking about the diagnostic process and the positive things that came from it. im really hoping the popularity around DID fades in the next few years and that children actually start listening to medical professionals who refuse to diagnose them also sorry i just woke up and this is SO rambly jfdhgkjdfhg
@@V1CT1M_666 In their mind, they just want the alters, to have multiple people in your head is "cool" and "fun" and "crazy" and/or they want to have an excuse to act however they want whenever they want and just "blame it on my alter". It really stigmatises DID and OSDD. They very rarely care about the trauma. They either make up some trauma to make it seem more legit, wanting pity and make people believe them or they call themselves "endogenetic systems" ("systems" formed for non traumatic reasons, they aren't a real thing). They even steal real terms and seriously ruin the terms meaning (I'm not going into detail for reasons. Not here at least.) I will never fully understand them except they probably just want attention. They are cruel people who actually hurt others non the less.
@@TotallyAlisa because it’s supposed to be educational about their DID experiences. It doesn’t suck it’s just you aren’t interested in the topic, so click off the vid instead of writing a negative comment.
well DID isnt really something that just happens, usually there is a trigger to make you switch to another alter other than just doing it like nothing happened
I got diagnosed with DID in 2019 and currently trying to get my autism diagnosis. Got bullied since kindergarden, very abusive family, sa and rape were daily things. Can't remember it, but i can read what happend in my diary. Panic attacks and paranoia were going on every day. These things all went on for 16 years, until i suddenly was in an orphanage and one of the workers there became my mom. Today we have around 20 headmates, amnesia got better, we're in therapy for 4-5 years. It's always intresting to hear other peoples experience. Thanks for sharing they're story. ^-^
@@q_0191 it's actually scary on this case cause the alter probably just branch off and delete/ locked the memory cause they say it's amnesia and not a switch
I met a lot of people with this disorder in my life. It honestly feels like you talking to a different person when someone else is fronting. Their voice change, posture, and mannerism are different. I remember one of my old friends with this disorder I could tell when/who was fronting, it could get annoying when being in deep conversation, then all of a sudden noticing someone else was in the diver seat, but most of the time fun to hang out whoever was fronting. Then after a while noticing my friend is back in the driver's seat and I have to give a recap of what happened. People with DID are nice people and are not odd.
If the statistics for how many people have it are correct, that's extremely improbable that you've met "a lot." I've never met someone with DID (or at least someone that's open about it), and nobody I know seems to have either.
@@Reyd_01 it is estimated that 1-2% of the general population has DID and the number id higher for OSDD. 140 million, dude. 2% of 7 billion is still a lot of people
@@Breadn Yeah DID is a covert disorder that even the person having it isn't supposed to know about. A friend of mine recently confessed to me he has DID, and if they hadn't told me, there would have been absolutely no way for me to tell
@@StarrySkyyyy more like 8 billion, but that figure is still more than I thought it would be. My immediate question to mind is how concentrated are total cases to the US, and how many more are centralized to certain cities, with the same Dr's diagnosing a lot of people? Without looking I'd be willing to place money on a bet that the most DID diagnosis in the world centers in CA or MA?
Whoa, you can legitimately tell when she switches. The switch from Avery to Callie wasn't as obvious. But the switch from Callie to Spencer was really obvious. You can play some random point in the beginning of the video like at 4:46, then go to something later like 26:10 to really see the difference. Avery speaks in a higher pitched voice and more quickly, while Spencer speaks in a lower voice and more slowly. Avery also seemed to have more pitch differences when she spoke, while Spencer was more soft spoken and less variation in pitch.
The way all of us lowkey doubted them to have DID in the first place is honestly so sad and disappointing. Social media (tiktok especially) has been using these disorders as a funny little quirk so much to the point whenever someone who genuinely has them speaks about their experience, they're declared to cry wolf as well. Having any kind of illness isn't quirky or cute, people have to adjust their lives so their illnesses won't affect them so severely. Just be grateful you're healthy and find an actual hobby
@@kittencutie7074 Literally look at the rest of the comments. I do feel bad for assuming that, that was the entire point of my comment. Get off your high horse, geez
Dude.....she says she has autism.....if you ever met anyone with autism even at high functioning......its nothing like this, this is a lecture, and has all the making of a normal person....just has or say has DID, and now days its bard to take them to heart when its a badge to have a disorder
I feel this made me understand DID better. The way she explained that the disorder is not about the alters, but about the dissociation from trauma really helped. The alters are the minds way of making it feel like it “happened in history” or “it happened to someone else”. Alters are a symptom of the dissociation process, not the main core of the disorder. The dissociation is the core of the disorder.
Excellent takeaways. Similarly it dawned on me that smaller dissociations (though common enough in everyday life) aren't all that well understood as such. Sleep or flow states don't leave much in the way of direct memories either, but we seem to be able to piece it back together. Logjams with those can happen too.
You are 100% right. "It happened to somebody else, not me" is the core of this disorder. I personally know someone with DID and it is the same thing. The mind tries to cope with trauma loading it off on the other personalities so some of this alters carry the load of the trauma and some are able to function "normally". This comes with severe downsides as the traumatized alters are not gone and they may show up from time to time causing severe problems.
This video really helped me understand DID a lot better than anyone else I've heard from... for all the reasons you explain in this comment. My therapist thinks I have a dissociative disorder (because of trauma) but I never thought until now that the connections to people who develop alters is so finely connected.... it's given me a lot to think about.
I love that their system finally got the support they needed. It was genuinely beautiful to listen to how the system's communication became stronger as time went on with the correct therapy. It must have felt so validating and comforting for the host to meet their alters and finally have the tools to strengthen the community inside of their body.
Thank you! It's been a very difficult journey, and we've backtracked almost as often as we've moved forward, but it's amazing what proper treatment has done. We're two years into our diagnosis, and have finally been able to see an ISST-D certified therapist, so we're looking forward to see what our life looks like a decade or two into treatment! - Spencer
I'm a system? What am I : a Windows 10!? (I'm joking but I do actually have DID) but I'm pretty sure mine or more independent and involved then her's (I got 19 "people") I say that because mine are like actually people except for one he scares me (because he can't feel anything, he barely has a sense of touch. He can't feel hungry or tired or thirsty or pain) wail two can read without glasses just fine and one almost completely changes how I look (I start to look and sound A LOT like my dad) his name is Norm
The memory loss part of DID is what terrifies me the most. I mean, sharing my body with others? Hey, cool, built-in friends... if we get along. The trauma? Well, it sucks, but at least I'm not alone. Not knowing what's happening? Yikes. Scary scary scary. Thank you for talking about what cases DID, and that the disorder actually centers around. The alters seem fun and cool if you don't know why they exist (And for me personally, the memory loss) but once you do, like many other mental illness, it finally sinks in that it's not fun. It's not cool. It's something terrible that the people who deal with it on a daily basis really do struggle with.
The good thing is, that with enough time and therapy, while you may not remember it, you can work out of a system of communication so that you're never out of the loop. And some systems have more or less amnesia than others of course.
Well thanks for sending me down that thought spiral. The most logical and also funny solution I came up with would be using N seperate sets of vr gear and running a custom openXR application that sends all the position data to the host where it gets averagred out, so if half point to the right and the other half to the left, the character arm ends somewhere in the middle. Same goes for controller inputs; button presses are determined by majority vote. Certainly doable but oh boy would it require a good bit of coding. Compute power not so much as you'd essentially only be running the game once with the the input from all and essentially splitting the displayport signal out to every heaset from a single DP port. And youd need to stand in a tight circle or use expensive af fiber displayport and usb extenders because anything else would suffer from degradation or even worse, lag. It would probably still make you violently ill but thats something I'd be willing to risk alongside several friendships while we scream at that one birdbrain for throwing our aim off xD Edit: Spelling. Twice. Why do I only notice the errors after hitting save?
I keep seeing people say DID is as rare as being struck by lightning, and it is not! The prevalence of DID is roughly 1.5%, whereas the odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 500,000. DID is medically rare, which is not the same thing as statistically improbable, thank you!
I have a very close friend with it and so does another friend of mine. Mental illnesses are not nearly as rare as we think they are. We’re just not aware.
Also, a lot of people aren’t diagnosed with it or don’t know how to be diagnosed with it. We have it and it took a long time because a lot of doctors in my area didn’t believe it was an actual disorder :| xx
@@joyin9852 yeah! there aren't a lot of people who are medically diagnosed and modt aren't until later in their life; despite being a disorder that develops from childhood trauma most women with DID aren't diagnosed until much later in their life, iirc the number was 30 years old.
imagine being such a bad parent or caretaker that your child has to form a parent to survive- it makes me tear up everytime I hear about specific stories but it also teaches me more about people and things and its quite interesting
It’s a breath of fresh air to finally hear someone who isn’t faking their mental disorders, genuinely describing her experiences and her feelings without being “uwu my dream alter fronted again” I wish her nothing but the best ❤️❤️
yeah I could genuinely tell after she switched to Spencer that she was slightly different in her personality for example referring to themselves as we much more often.
Yeah like halfway thru the vid when she swapped from Avery to Callie, I couldn't really tell the difference. Part of me thought it could be another person possibly faking their condition. But then the Callie to Spencer switch happened and it was extremely obvious that she is not faking this. I can imagine a diagnosis like this could be troublesome and i hope she can figure out a way to live life smoothly
Fictional characters can get introjected as system members. This is a medically recognized thing. They get a lot of stigma for something they can’t control. A CZcamsr could be an important comfort character to a young system. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s cringe, it might really help a system. Think before you add to the stigma
@@Jamestownsys Listen to what I said, I said “uwu” because that is the way all the fake people show off their “did” I’m not saying they can’t have fictional characters
i was doubting this title and this video in general because of people faking this disorder but now after watching a couple minutes i can tell it’s real.
Azeal went on a whole ass rant about how people faking these sorts of things are jokes and need to be banned, so I didn't think they'd upload someone faking it.
I have DID. Her story especially with the struggle with therapy and trying to get properly diagnosed reminded me so much like mine. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me because the first few psychiatrists I was recommended to were the ones who did not believe DID and OSDD exists. They constantly invalidated us, gave us the wrong diagnosis, and just a whole mess throughout my teens. When I was 19 I found one that did recognize DID as a disorder but they were very unprofessional and abusive with their practice. They belittled me, told me that I couldn't have developed DID because I had no history of childhood trauma which was complete bullshit because I did with tons of evidence and witnesses documented by previous social workers and therapists. They would jump around from yes you definately have Dissociative Identify Disorder to no you don't and you're a faker who wants attention because I totally wanted attention after paying hundreds of dollars and desprately asking for help. They told us that that the only cure was integrating all my alters into one conscious which is not only impossible but extremely risky and traumatic. My time with them was so bad that for a long period I experienced extreme derealization and more fragments formed. Caused me and my whole system to stop therapy and treatment cold turkey and have an intense aversion to any mental health care even though we desperately needed it. Only years later when my husband convinced me and my system did we go back to therapy and found a specialist that recognized that the plurality wasn't something to get rid of or to treat but the disassociation, depersonalization, derealization, the flash backs, the trauma, and the mountain of problems that comes with the disorder. I hate the people who fake DID because of they don't live through the struggles and pain that comes with it and they make it harder for people with the actual disorder to find proper and sufficient treatment. What I hate more than fakers are the shitty people who abuse children and caused them so much pain that the disorder develops. I hope to any higher power that my children and yours don't develop DID or OSDD because it's not fun or quirky. It's painful and frustrating, but the nightmare is how a child develops it in the first place.
I'm sorry to hear you experience that, dissociation does definitely fall on a spectrum so I'm glad you brought up that it's possible to experience dissociation without having DID, or even any specific dissociative disorder.
@@Azeal I have had issues when talking about my dissociation at times where people get confused and think I mean I have DID, but yes, it is a spectrum. It can be as small as feeling slightly out of body, but still mostly present to full periods of absence mentally.
@@elil8094 it’s the same with me, sometimes I dissociate as part of my anxiety disorder (depending on the trigger) and I never really explained it to people except like my therapist and a few close people, but the first time I had that out of body detached experience, it was terrifying.
@@jasonb1345 that’s how it is with me most of the time when I dissociate. When I’m having a strong episode I have gone days feeling not entirely there or even feel real. Kind of like living my life looking through a tv screen. Dissociation is scary, and I am sorry you go through this.
Dear God I almost cried seeing this comment. I haven't watched the video, and I do plan to soon, but I was looking for a comment like this. Dissociation is a pretty terrifying thing especially when you can't feel out your triggers and understand what's inducing it. I've gotten to the point of thinking I know my triggers and then getting the rug pulled from under me multiple times and being left in the dark again. And even worse is when it just lingers for days on end very lowkey. The past 5 years of my life have been just that. I've never felt entirely in my head very often. It's just been a lingering nothingness and detachment. It's awful.
I'm glad you made a video on this! DID is a very demonized/romanticized disorder so I'm glad that they were brave enough to share their experiences. To any systems reading this, you're all so brave, and I hope that you are doing well
Yeah, i mean theres even a community that tries to develop DID or at least attempt to create their own alter personas for fetishes by using hypnosis and subliminal suggestions. How do I know? I was in that discord server and I attempted it myself. I did the process for months before it started showing signs. I'm now inactive in that group and for now I dont think it did any permanent damage to me.
@@terencepaul7475 That just sounds like a fucked up version of tulpamancy, which no self respecting practitioner of that group would call themselves DID OSDD or any other disorder
@@terencepaul7475 I don’t think it even actually works, since I know there’s a phenomenon where it tricks your brain into believing you have it. It happened to someone I knew and they thought they had it for awhile because of the communities they were apart of before finally realizing they didn’t.
@@niikoban545 I'm not too sure myself, it took me a while before I felt anything. The most I got was having trouble focusing. 1 minute I was gonna this stuff but somewhere in the middle I ended up doing a completely different thing. No blackouts, just like what Zenith said, the feeling of you kinda know how you got there but dont really recall the exact details. Also triggers started showing some effect in me, but only 2 of the many triggers that were supposed to be installed.
I was scared of getting into this video since most of the content about DID on youtube triggers me but this was really nice and I didn't know I needed to hear this today ^^
My “friend” used to use DID as excuses to make random outbursts, never was medically diagnosed, and they told me one day “you know what’s funny ___ I’m flying about my disorder HAHAHAHA” after a dentist appointment where she had laughing gas. Something along the lines of that and confused slurring English. And later she said “I don’t like the term alters, they are just me but different” 😭 genuinely shook me to my core.
Holy shit, this is incredibly accurate. As someone with DID, it's amazing to see someone speak about this condition so clearly. It's easy to see that they're not lying. This video is far better than some others out there that further stigmatize and worsen the view of the disorder.
It's good that they have people in their lives who actually accept AND believe them, that kind of support helps ALOT for dealing with any form of mental disorder.
Accepting and believing is one thing. Understanding it and knowing what to do, is another skill set entirely for everyone because people genuinely do not know.
It's crazy to know how diverse people are in this world, this is the first time I've seen person with DID and learn what it was! Overall, I really enjoyed this informative video!
I am starting to be suspicious of myself for DID- and I think this video helped me confirm it just a tiny but more. But obviously it's gonna take a long time to figure out. Before anyone goes around saying that I think I have DID for what it's most popular of, that's not what I'm talking about. Why I think I possibly have it is that I recently have been talking more and more with my mom and she's revealed many events and routines (trauma associated) that I can't seem to remember. She has talked about my dad, 3 times where I've gone missing for a while, all the odd people I've met, the abuse I got from some adults, and all the family trauma. I can't remember a single thing. Like what they said in the video- I don't feel mad about it either. I don't have any opinion on it. Alongside that, since I'm still experiencing verbal abuse from almost everyone in my life, it seems that for every major event that happens, I get a new mindset or emotional experience. And it feels weird because every time anything happens I lose track of time, I comfort myself with my own thoughts, so it seems like I'm a different person with a different response to everything. Is this normal?
To be honest, there is very different ways DID can be for everyone. It's very different cause not only is there subcategories to DID like OSDD. But, we all have different brains obviously which means it all feels and the way you treat situations or feel is different. We're a system, and I understand the fear of thinking you have DID only to be knocked down because you're worried about people seeing it as "oh, you're saying you have an illness because it's popular" but you genuinely should feel happy with figuring yourself out and your system if you have one. I think the way you're explaining your possible experience is normal. Anything can be normal. Most people who have OSDD(Specifically 1A iirc) don't even see their alters are separate but more of a "different version of themselves" are a system. If you've been researching deeply for this, and feel that it's a hunch, you should continue believing in yourself and figuring it out. A new mindset and emotional experience could definitely be from a new alter, or it could be possible the alter changes to cope with the situation/new set. It's very weird but interesting how systems can experience things differently. We believe in you.
I have OSDD-1b (a variant of DID) This person describes how it feels so well. Their descriptions show their knowledge on the topic and I hope that it comes across the same way for people that don’t know much about it.
Would it be comfortable for me to ask what differs OSDD-1b from DID in your experience? I've always been curious on the subject of mental illnesses like these, and I would like to learn more.
@@honkandursun9402 OSDD-1b is basically just DID without (most) of the amnesia. It’s not too different from DID. Thank you for asking! You’re always free to talk to me over discord if you’re interested :)
@@leapfroggrr I see.. very interesting! I like to talk and interact with people who have DID and similar mental illnesses, especially with their alters. I'm not sure why, I just find it extremely fascinating to interact with people diagnosed with it. Thanks for answering!
me too! their description of how childhood memories feel for them and talking about their greyouts reeaallyyy resonated with me because it is the same way for us! my in-denial-self had to pause for a minute and just think cause Holy Shit is it validating hearing diagnosed systems talk about experiences that are incredibly similar to mine..
Wow the difference in body language/gestures and voice were really interesting to see every time they switched alters. The first one was more subtle but the second was so different.
Both times were right about when memories of meaningful healing conversations occurred. Callie when recalling the therapist's agreement at six months in, Spencer when recalling a friend's validation in college. The change in mannerisms went with a slight shift in word-usage, too. Makes me wonder how and if code-switching is also affective, or if it is primarily a switch in perspective that put another alter forward. Either way, it's fascinating stuff.
@WKMF did she really though? she was talking about her friends and family being accepting of the disorder. it’s perfectly normal to be more playful when youre talking about good moments in your life. if the pauses werent there to say when another alter fronted i dont think anyone would’ve realised.
A few years ago, I fell down a hole of research about DID, and extensively knew a lot. I since then have found a lot of the sources I got my information from were either unreliable or just outright false, and I’ve been avoiding most DID related media for fear of being misguided again. I found this video and started out out cautious, but I’ve very thankful for what seams to be a more reliable source and genuine information
Thank you so much for your kind words! Unfortunately a lot of media (TV shows, comics, etc) have so much misinformation. I encourage everyone I speak to about it to look up sources and fact check when faced with a depiction of any mental health disorder, especially DID.
It was very interesting, we could hear the changes of tone in her voice, the speed at which she spoke, a slight change in accent also at one point and see the non-verbal change while she was explaining her story!🤔
I can't imagine how exhausting dealing with a condition like this must be by itself. Then you have people coming out pretending to have it and making fun of it. My fiance suffers from this and it can be really hard on him when things get so stressful that he switches. Thank you for being so open and talking about this with us. Wishing all the best for you.
@@fishpickles7316 There are crazy people... Who know exactly what they're doing. Then there are genuine people... Which Nature or Nurture or both rolled the dice poorly. But for me... I couldn't nor wouldn't be able to tell the difference between genuine disorders and how the human body normally functions. As for the fakers, I'm a bit more merciless in this regard. Knowing Good and Evil in my hands, so I expect better from humans who chose to be fake. Otherwise, we get idiots who commit crime and blame it on a "disorder". It simply wastes the Court's time during the lawsuit. But alas... Humans are humans. Nothing they do is beyond my expectations... Given existence itself.
I've been all over the internet. Aside from actual TikTok. I've never actually seen anybody make fun of DID, although I have met those who claim to have it
@@fishpickles7316 as a system its suspicious when they say all of them but it is possible to have a lot of fictives if the source comforts them; for example we have a fictive thats came from a character i wrote during a really bad time in my life, he was my escape and so eventually the stress piled up until he was created to help calm us.
we were bEYOND ecstatic to see this in our recommended tonight!! we're an osdd-1b system of 97+ alters, so we don't have the full-on amnesia that those with did have. it mainly manifests in emotional amnesia, where you can remember something, but depending on who the memory properly belongs to, you feel practically nothing toward it, but you still acknowledge it happened. it was really nice to see someone talk about this on here and to hear about their own personal experience, especially from someone who genuinely has it! seeing endogenics everywhere is so tiring - holly
Not trying to be rude whatsoever just surprised, but holy shit 97+?? I've only ever heard of systems having a handful, maybe 20 at most, but 97+??? Props to yall for handling that, I know for a fact I myself could not
i haven't watched through this video in it's entirety yet but as someone who has DID this video so far has made me feel seen. it's made US feel seen, like we're more than just "the disorder". your story, zenith, has been absolutely wonderful to hear. it's almost like an awakening, even if that's a weird way to put it. thank you for letting azeal share this, thank you for putting this out in the world. it's so nice to see good DID anecdotes in a world where it's very looked down upon. 💕
It's horrific people go through disorders like this, but somehow fascinating how the human mind ends up handling extreme trauma. I hope they're able to lead the best life they can, they deserve it for what they've been through.
4:00 one common misconception that I love and hate is the idea that Autism is purely a mental disorder, the truth of the matter is that mental aspect is somewhat there and it can be far more prominent for others( it's different for everyone) but for me at least the social aspect is more home field
It always puts a smirk on my face when I hear people using Autistic as an insult to one's intelligence, because at least my perception of it is, it's a social disorder more than mental
Social issues COME from mental disabilities sometimes. If you cannot comprehend certain social interactions because your brain won't let you, it's going to cause social awkwardness. For example, many people with autism have a lot of trouble understanding sarcasm, which makes them seem like they have no sense of humour and take things too seriously.
My boyfriend has it as well. His alters are very nice, and the host lets them free range essentially whenever they feel like they want to come out. I love each and every one of them.
It's always good to see other systems represented in a good light. It's hard getting diagnosed, I am glad I have a therapist that's listening to us. Edit: I would like to add, there are quite a few mental healthcare providers who are quick to dismiss anything such as DID.
I really dislike peoples' fixation on whether people with multiple personalities are "faking it" or not. Seems like that fixation on calling out "fakers" is what really hurts people with DID. I don't have DID myself, but as a trans person I know what it's like to feel like I have to medicalize and catastrophize my own identity, rather than accepting it as a part of me that I can gain some enjoyment and value from. If someone says "I have multiple personalities" and your response is "yeah, but do you really", then *you're the asshole*
Ugh some ppl on the internet are just sht. It's the same thing about those idiots claimint they're trying to suppirt a group of people or trying to solve racism by... being racist. Ugh. Also, opinions, phrases and thoughts and comments, and feelings are copyrighted now. I can't believe some ppl are actually capable of thinking that way and believing they are doing sth for a good cause while theyre just bein a piece of sht
Thank you. All the focus on faking only serves to marginalize people who have it but present differently than the medically accepted standard. Just because someones system works differently doesnt mean theyre faking, and i really wish people would focus more on mutual support and less on infighting
@Shazy Shaze Hello! Sorry for the poke here when your comment is 2 weeks old, but alters aren't separate personalities but actually real whole people. This is one of the reasons the name Multiple Personality Disorder was replaced, they aren't just alternate personas, sure they may be referred to as alters but just to have a solid label, and each may have different personalities... But that's in the same way that you and I along with everyone else has different/unique personalities.
@@ShazyShaze you're welcome and no problem! Also you're right on the nose about people trying to figure out if someone is faking and then just being horrible for the community... They ultimately become skeptical/critical of so many systems because they're.. too weird, have too many alters, they like to change their clothes or something cause someone else switched in... All things that shouldn't be criticized cause DID, OSDD systems are all unique and not some cookie cutter layout.
i like the "badge of honor" thing they brought up. DID tries to help you cope with traumatic events, and trying to see it positively even when it does get in the way of other things is really cool. ik i regard my cptsd like that a bit, it helped me with an unstable childhood. i dont need it as much now but i guess im, in the end, grateful for it in a weird way
Personally I don’t like the idea that d.i.d. Is a chosen thing that develops to help you especially given our new understanding of it, which is that it simply developes because of trauma happening before the time a child is able to form a solid personality which is a natural part of human development. D.i.d. Isn’t a thing that chooses to help you, it’s a thing that happens by accident and saying it’s to help you is both inaccurate and romanticized. (From a person with d.i.d.) some of her understandings are not updated, like you don’t need severe trauma the way we think, trauma is defined by the DSM-5 as anything that makes you feel unsafe or overwhelms you, and for did normally that would just be prolonged feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. For a lot of people with d.i.d. They don’t know why they have it(I mean the amnesia is a factor) but most of them feel they didn’t suffer severe enough trauma or any trauma at all, especially enough to cause it. But knowing the knew definition makes it finally make sense.
@@animemicheal I love how you refer to it as DID but then reference DSM-5. DID isn't a recognized terminology and is not present in university copies of DSM-5 because its a term that has not yet been approved or recognized by international mental health regulatory bodies as being a thing. The correct terminology is still MPD or OSDD-1
@@JustAGooseman I'm referring to it as DID because thats what the creator used, and ALSO MPD is the outdated term, they changed it to DID in 1994. I am CLINICALLY Diagnosed with DID. Yes OSDD is another term for it though it is separate from DID, though i was referring to both. Anyways you're wrong because MPD is the outdated term, and im literally diagnosed DID. I was referring to the definition of TRAUMA not DID, though my definition actually comes from a modern biology of trauma summit where scientists and doctors, people with specialties and PHD's all discuss trauma an d its relation to the body, who are known to be ahead of their fields. So its a more recent definition, which hasnt been added to the DSM quite yet, but will be in the future.
Better than the alternative of losing your mind completely due to trauma, it's almost like a super power for the damaged, the human body/mind is and amazing thing. Thinking of it like the badge of honor is a good thing I think.
It's a nice change to see people actually dealing with these things instead of the constant faking you see everywhere nowadays. I struggle with cptsd and get occasional panic attacks, and have seen loads of people fake panic attacks and make light of *actual* triggers on vrchat; even seen some content creators do it, it's extremely demoralizing and makes me feel like I can't talk about these things without being called an attention whore. I hate it so much. Azeal, channels like yours, and videos like these are a refresher, and it gives me back some of that hope in humanity that I've lost.
I remember my first panic attack, I ended up hyper ventilating in a Costco parking lot, I freaked out, thought I was having a heart attack and my mom call 911, paramedics come, "your just hyperventilating, eat a banana you need potassium, now look at where I'm pointing, what do you see". The paramedics were really cool, plus I bet Costco was happy cause they got a random spur of the moment banana purchase
@@Kaznor you? Apparently...you seem very upset, nothing is the same for anyone so I'm guessing he's speaking about what he knows as common and definite triggers, as humans we tend to project ourselves and how things are for us on others, it's very natural, I can understand your irritation at the phrasing he chose but that's that, he already sent it, and your already upset about it( I assume)(my apologies if you aren't upset and are genuinely just asking a question...I'm not the best a reading people...or more so what people say and whether it's meant literally or not) Now civil discourse is one thing, I'm all for that, but if you intend to take offense to such a basic wording choice when it's made clear he's referring to his own personal experiences. Now if you find an issue with his wording and you intend to converse with him about it and listen then talk, and attempt to better understand what's going on go for it. Either way...I can't stop you, I'm just some kid behind a keyboard
@@Kaznor Real triggers are what people with ptsd have, things that 'trigger' a traumatic memory or something that is done or said that brings you back to that moment, which often causes a panic attack or the like, that's what real triggers are. Triggers are not little things you might not 'like', but that's unfortunately how loads of pre-teens are using that word now, and that pisses me off, because it makes people who struggle with very real triggers look like attention whores.
My cousin apparently dated someone with DID. But the alter they were dating went dormant and apparently when that happens theirs no guarantee that they'll ever become active again.
I'm so glad I found this video. My mom has DID, and recently some very horrible things happened to her and the last couple of months for her have kind of been lost. This is helping to educate me quite a bit, but I wish there was more I could do to help her with the events that have happened. It would involve court if charges were to be pressed, but with the trauma she's faced and the time she's lost, god can only imagine how distressing it would even be for her to go through all of that. My mom has done so much for me over the past 21 years, and I can only wish I could do nearly as much to help her through all of this. Thank you for this video.
I have a Fiancé that has DID with numerous alters and I’ve honestly never been happier in my life in meeting them 4 years ago now. They’re the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and it makes me so happy to see this being discussed and made aware of by them and others. It’s such a relief to see this coming more to light because it’s such an important thing to talk about.
I have heard of DID but ive never seen/met anyone with it, well, actually diagonsed anyway. They are all amazing people im sure, they were very cute at the end trying to figure out who started the recording. May they live a peaceful life. ♥
Listening to this video it kinda helps those who don’t know what people with DID can go through when getting diagnose get a better feel of how this disorder works. It just kinda helps people get a better understanding on what DID is and what it’s like. So thank you for doing this interview and thank you to Zenith for sharing your experience you guys did an amazing job.
Oh my goodness, I relate to your diagnosis journey so much. Getting tied up in the plurality community was a huge mistake I made when I was 18. Ended up believing I was faking and repressed everything I was experiencing. Being diagnosed and treated with bipolar one from age 17-22, never understanding why the bazillion meds they tried didn't work. Hearing voices and thinking I was psychotic. Losing significant amounts of time was a big problem for me too. It's funny, I was diagnosed in March 2021 by a trauma specialist. I had been in the therapeutic realm since age 10 when my brother passed away. So 12 years in the system for me. When I found out the diagnosis I was pretty surprised, but everything about my life made so much more sense. It changed my life, for real. I was actively suicidal for years and questioning reality at every turn. Realizing there was a reason for everything helped so much. DID is so so hard to live with, but finally understanding what's going on changed everything for me. When I told my fiance (who I had been dating for 5 years now and was getting married to in a year) about the DID she said "Wow, I was wondering when you would notice." Apparently she had noticed several different "versions" of me for years and just kinda mentally filed it away. She started researching DID and felt like that made sense, but never talked to me about it because she didn't want to freak me out. When I told her I had it she pretty much just said she already knew. Wasn't expecting that at all!! Thanks for sharing your story. I like that you focused on diagnostics and such and didn't get into alters as much. While DID is alters, it's more C-PTSD than anything and the alters are just a byproduct of severe trauma. Hope things continue to go well with you! -Jules
I have some friends with d.i.d (same body) tbh they are some of the best people I know and I'm glad I'm friends with all of them and if I'm going to be 100% honest I probably wouldn't have made it through 2020 without them. They are all good friends and don't let anyone tell you that online friends aren't real friends.
No you dont. It's so rare that the chance of you meeting more than one person with it means you've also been struck by lightning twice, won the lottery twice, and/or have a 5th limb.
I dont understand why people in a community would know someone has ptsd... and hate them for it?? Why did the people from that group attack her? And why would they want to demedicallize DID? Like, what does someone having DID have to do with them?
seems they met a particularly bad branch of the plurality community, plurality as a concept is more of a blanketing term as we understand it, including more than just did, as in plural means any potential source of multiple people one brain and similar things, though some take it very weirdly and terribly sometimes, especially on big internet communities, as what happens in all big internet communities the demedicalization of did isnt inherent to plurality, but yeah, it is a prevalent idea in certain communities around it, especially on the internet, and even more especially in the ones with mostly teenagers, who dont often know or care about the actual material results of doing so
DID can't be "demedicallized" because it isn't medical science in the first place. The DSM-5 lacks any diagnostics measures for 'DID' and the closest thing to it is OSDD-1b. DID isn't recognized by any major educational or government regulatory bodies that handle and classify mental illnesses. A big reason is because there is no actual discernable evidence it isn't just OSDD-1b with amnesic symptoms.
@@JustAGooseman im not sure what ur point is sorry... are u saying they should add it in or that this whole thing is a load of crock? /srs i feel like if u can be diagnosed and treated for it by a doctor isnt that medical? medicalized? my point was i dont understand what the motives of that group she was in were.
@@usagirocks I feel like maybe they're trying to demedicalize it to destigmatize it. Maybe in their minds it should be treated more similarly to how trans people are treated. But the problem is DID literally only arises because of severe and/or repeated childhood trauma; there's no evidence to suggest it isn't a medical disorder. This is in contrast to the scientific consensus that transness is not inherently a disorder (though gender dysphoria exists). This is just my thoughts, I do not have DID so I will not speak for anyone in the community. And the argument can be made that demedicalizing it creates room for more people to fake it if they can cop out by saying 'well I didn't have trauma but....' transmeds (people who think transness is medical) make the same argument but they don't have evidence for it.
It's so disappointing that DID can be doubted so easily now due to masses of people on the internet faking it for clout. It just alienates the actual people with the disorder even more.
They explained this so well!! I knew what DID was before but I didn’t quite understand what it *felt* like for those who have it. I don’t have it so obviously I’ll never know on a deep deep level what it’s like but they all helped me with understanding what it can be like and now I feel like I can empathize a lot better with those who got it. I hope that if they ever do tell their family that they are nothing but accepting and loving and I’m wishing them the best
I relate to this so much. The catatonic dissosiative episodes. The freaking out about the voices in my head. Honestly I always thought the constant arguing was ADHD (I was diagnosed with ADHD+ at 4 and autism at 20ish?). Oh, and I knew I turned into a 4 year old during certain triggers for a few years but I always thought that was a migraine thing. I don't *usually* "lose time" it's usually more like my body is moving on its own while I have absolutely no control. Grey outs are more common but black ours happen when I'm "sleeping". Honestly it all just makes me angry nobody saw the obvious signs of severe PTSD and thought to get me out of that environment as a kid. I'm just glad the 5 of us main fronters are in a good balance and manage to work together these days. Oddly enough, we function better now than pre discovery because I actually get some rest and I'm not subconsciously fighting switches anymore.
It's really powerful seeing them treat it not as some problem they have, but as the proof that they were able to live through something, which is really cool to see terms of their outlook on what happened to them.
I was diagnosed with this nearly 2 years ago, and this is a very well done video, it's been a while since I resonated this strongly to any information put out on the disorder (that isn't clinical/research). Well done.
I like how she says we acknowledging that she is several people and she is comfortable with the fact that she has the idea and she’s proud of her alters
as part of a system this really hits hard, it sucks being a system and it hurts so much seeing people fake this hell of a disorder strength to all systems, you have this and I'm so proud of you -moni
My bestie is a multiple, and I'm very introverted and run out of "social energy"/spoons very quickly. Having a multiple for a friend is absolutely perfect: I socialize with several people, while expending one contact's worth of social energy.
@@enderwalkgang well..no - spoons is a theory about disability (this can be physical or mental). Essentially, it means you start your day with a number of spoons, and each action throughout the day uses up an amount of those. When you run out and can't physically do anything else, you don't have to feel bad about it because you can say "I used ___ spoons today! I have done what I can but now it's time for me to rest."
I had an ex who has DID. Once, when getting “thrown out of her house”, instead of packing her things and leaving she brought a blanket and a bunch of dolls into the backyard and had a tea party, talking in a baby voice the whole time. Her eyes would comepletely change.
Thanks so much for this being posted, I only recently got diagnosed with DID, about maybe 2 years ago and some days it feels like no one can ever understand me and that my life isn't worth living even though I have people in my life. Hearing someone share such a similar experience as me gives me hope and I wish the system in the video much luck with everything. Thank you, Azeal and Zenith.
some of my closest friends are DID systems and they don't deserve the shit they get online and IRL, on top of whatever trauma they've also had to experience. i love that people are gonna learn something new from this video
It's amazing how people live with this, being autistic is all kinds of different to DID and I'd honesty love to learn more about it, even if you could just pass on this message to them if it doesn't waste time "you guys are amazing and it's great you guys can live with something that's more challenging than Autism!"
hi im the person from the video and i just wanted to say thank you so much for your kind words,,,,,, im trying to read every comment and it's absolutely insane how nice people are ;-; so thank you!!
@@zenith7522 no problems, you and all your altars are madlads who deserve respect, also the transition between altars was quite slight, I felt the first was more on hand movements, it seems more lively to mewhile the second is more of a faster pace, but I'm not that sure about it though
@@zenith7522 o.o woa coolio fun fact theirs is a brand or was apparently that made a heinekien or Heineken made a zenith tv not just that even a gamecube ninTENDO kinda like the marlboro gameboy and marlboro atari lynx
this helped me solidify a lot of the information I'd hear about DID from friends with it! I'm in a lot of creative writing workshops and have been writing a character with DID for a while, but was unsure on some of the information I'd get online about it. It's difficult to separate information from skeptic doctors, good doctors, real systems, and fake systems when trying to find sources. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I wish you the best!
I didn't really notice the first change, but once Spencer came forward you could immediately hear their voice deepen. I never imaged it would be so seamless that you wouldn't notice without it being pointed out, I always imagined it as very jarring. This was a really enlightening thing to watch and quite fascinating from an outside perspective. Hope things continue to improve for them in life!
I won't lie, it's a little hard to tell the difference when avery switches to callie, it was a lot easier to tell when callie switches to Spencer. But it's really amazing learning about stuff like this and I really enjoy finding out about this
I take DID pretty seriously because I find it fascinating (in the most respectful way possible) that these alters are created to help protect the original (if my based knowledge is right) from traumatic experiences. To me it's like looking at a completely different person, almost as if a new soul inhabits the body. At the end of the day. My respect and sympathy for them is tremendous and I only wish their life is filled with peace and comfort
@@glixrio6359 thats because it's not like the one person just 'grows' new personalities, and it's just the 'original' splitting into different people right? /genq
I'm glad someone else sees it that way ! (As far as I know) I personally don't have DID but I have an ex-, now close friend who does and it's like, endlessly fascinating, sort of discovering a new friend every now and then, but also, I don't want to pry and be invasive ; but still, I know it sounds weird how enthusiastic I sound and I agree, these people have gone through unimaginable trauma, and I don't forget that, but I admire the resilience, and how fascinating it is to have multiple minds in one body. I suppose part of it is the unknown side? Like I have the opposite problem of feeling crushing isolation in my own mind often, so I guess part of it is the idea of always having company I don't want to come off as disrespectful, really, I'm just curious and want to know everything about it
I think about as your brain pretty much fracturing. Each taking different parts of the pain to pretty much quarantine them from the main persona or perhaps egos.
Im glad they are able to share their stories and put themselves out there to help others understand! Y'all did an awesome job! And I'm also really glad they didn't look down on self diagnosed people, although it is important to acknowledge (as they did) that self diagnoses is one of many steps one should take when believing they may be suffering with a mental illness but it is still something that I and many others have found very helpful in communicating with therapist and actually feeling validated in the suffering that did or other illnesses have caused (BPD, depression, anxiety, etc. In my case)
I've always known and have been intrigued by DID, but now that I think about it, I never actually thought about how it would be as a system. In fact, even the concept of systems and fronting and stuff seems so interesting. As a med student, this is very interesting, as an example of how little we know our own body, but it's unfortunate that it stems from trauma.
Wonderful perspective and thank you so much for being brave enough to share and show this to us. The switches really were obvious even without the callouts.
Plot twist: DID is actually a secret society of mass role-players and it's an acronym for dungeons IN dragons (not related to the game whatsoever), they plan on taking over the world so they can reshape it to be more like dark souls. On a serious note: this video was extremely interesting and DID itself is even more interesting. It's hard to imagine what living with 20 other people inside your head is like but she was able to shed some light on it. Massive respect.
@@OmniscientWarrior I mean we have a decade of martial arts training so yea kinda. However, if we ever actually had to defend ourselves we'd just bail if we could we're not stupid.
15:46 Avery switches to Callie 23:57 Callie switches to Spencer Ok I just had to put this here because I had to rewatch the video a few more times to try and see if I can notice the changes in personality but I'm afraid I'm a REALLY bad observer xD I think I notice the change but I might just be telling myself that. Lets just say if I ever talk to this girl in real life (or any person with DID, really) I'm gonna have a hard time discerning each alter personality. Kudos to the people I saw here comment saying that they immediately noticed the switch tho :) PS. Pls tell me if I get the names wrong, or anything else :)
in the switches i think you can hear a change in tone of voice, callie seems more bubbly/excitable and spencer seems more monotone/deep in terms of how they speak
@@TheChronova ok so for Callie I noticed that she tends to express with her hands more and listening back again to Spencer I think I hear the difference in tone especially towards near the end
this was so comforting because their story and the way their system presents and their experiences with a therapist who figured it out before them is so similar to my own experience with DID. for so long i've felt weird and othered because my DID just doesn't present like all those famous DIDtubers and DIDtokers or whatever... but people like me and like Avery exist and it feels so warm
its really nice to get to actually hear from the perspective of someone that has this disorder. there were some things that I knew about it and the rest was a mystery. it's absolutely horrible that people do fake DID and seeing what its actually like, I wouldn't have actually known that zenith has it. people that fake it make alter switching seam like it's a super noticeable thing, but it really isn't it happens so fast and if it was not mentioned at all I wouldn't have even known! great video as always and thank you for raising awareness for DID :)
honestly amazing how you can actually notice even a small change on her (their?) form of acting, this is a very interesting disorder i stopped to think about how i just go full auto sometimes and have those "gray memory" periods she mentions but i don't really think i have something like did i need to search for stuff like this better lmao but this video made me inspired enough to at least look into it
She was SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AT SCHOOL?! Sheesh! Either they were some cunning bullies that knew the ins and outs of the layout or the staff did NOTHING and was negliectful. Damn!
Sexual assault does not automatically imply being pined down and penetrated in the middle of a hallway, it could mean as much as having constant sexual remarks thrown at you, being touched in inappropriate places or the likes, and you'd be surprised how prevalent it is to have these things happen to you in public places like school or work.
Also I'd like to point out just how NON-CHALANT they were when they mentioned that. Healthy person would be pretty upset and shaken up by that. Dissociated person? Oh yeah, shit happened. *shrug*.
@@devRat not really.. I know a lot of people that attach really bad trauma to SA but when asked they just go "yeah that happened I guess." The brain likes to downplay event to keep you alive and its quite common
I do have 2 friends on VR with DID. One has 6 personalities, the other has 11-12. They are both pretty chill. It's nice to see a video like this, because it truly shows how unique of people you can find on VRChat.
man i could not imagine what they went through i hear stories of bullying and harassment and it makes me wish that i was there to be able to help cause back when i was in school i was known for dealing with bullies and putting them down sometimes there ended up being a fight but alot of it was me having a big talk and educating on why bullying is bad my best memory was teaching a group of young students in middle school about why bullying is bad and all these other things now older kids were harder to deal with but these kids were pretty easy cause they were young and impressionable and after that there was little to no bullying in that class and if there was the kids spoke up and looked after each other and this story gives me that feeling of i wish i went to school with them cause i would of fought tooth and nail to stop the bullying either by educating or fighting and i was a student back then taking the role of a teacher and doing alot better then the actual teachers
My brother was ruthlessly (and I mean ruthlessly, those jerks did some horrible things to my brother) back in intermediate school. The school did nothing even when given recording and handwritten reports by my brother. Bullying shouldn’t only be told and taught as bad, it should be drilled into education that it is repulsive and unacceptable in any degree or nature. Thank you for being one of the good ones.
Im glad to see such a down-to-earth conversation about this condition. We've it ourselves n didn't even think about finding a trauma therapist for... really anything of ours. Thank you for having this interview; it will greatly help lots.
VRchat is a wonderful community that allows people to open up about themselves with true anonymity, and even remain calm about how they speak with people. and Azeal is able to use this to bring awareness and help towards these, thank you.
I'm really glad their mother has sought therapy!! I have CPTSD and DDNOS (i know the term is outdated but that's what my psychiatrist diagnosed me with) and I don't want to lose my family but they also don't have any idea how much harm they caused me. I really hope their mom and them can repair their relationship, and it gives me a bit of hope that my parents may seek help before they die lol
Sometimes I rewatch this video to help understand myself better. Just having someone else explain to us how they got through it makes a world of difference.
This was super educational, they’re literally so amazing to have come so far, I can’t imagine being that strong. I watched another interview about DID and it’s really sad how common being misdiagnosed or straight up dismissed is with the medical community.
Listening to this person talk about their experience has me feeling so many conflicting emotions about my own mental illnesses. Like I look back on the vague memories I have and my obsession with DID information and experiences, how there are people who act like they know me but I don't remember seeing them ever in my life, how I have this innate feeling that something is broken inside of me but none of the diagnoses I've been given seem to fit... I've wondered for years if I have DID but part of me is worried that I'm faking my symptoms. And I don't remember all of my traumas when I go to list them, nor do I feel like they were my traumas when I talk about them. And I'm tearing up as I type this and feel panicked. Maybe I'll talk to my trauma therapist about this... Thank you for sharing. This helped a lot.
I have a friend that actually have DID so it wasn't hard for me to tell apart when the alters starter switching. For my friend when I first met them, I was scared at first knowing that they had DID since it was my first time seeing someone with that in my life and didn't wanna get names wrong but I was also curious into wanting to know more which was a interesting experience
People with DID get bullied too much I have a friend with DID who got attacked by someone online They were mad that some of their OC’s names were shared with my friend’s alters They acted so immature and acted like they were targeted and attacked, sending hate messages on anonymous to them and making “callout” posts and “rules” in their bio Just because they felt they can own certain names worldwide for some fictional characters, and treating alters as some fictional thing…
A lot of my alters are now also ocs. When i grew up i sought roleplay as a way of social closeness and make believe, but it turned out that a lot of he ocs ive had since i was young, were actually written by the alters. They arent perfect characters for me, i cant play them exactly how those alters are, but they share the same (base) look
@@sleepylayla967 Of course, that’s the case with a lot of people with DID I think, but this idiot who attacked my friend was obsessed over their own fictional OCs (which is all they were)
thank you for sharing your story, experiences and information, honestly helped me a lot because I recently found out my cousin got diagnosed with DID!. Although I knew vaguely what it was this really gave me so much more insight! Thank you so much darling, you're a gem 💖
Your more “heartbreaking” stories make me feel really, really bad, because I can’t relate to so many of these stories and makes me feel bad that people have experience’s like this. I’m glad that people share these stories though, because it means these people are comfortable enough with sharing it. Also, DiD sounds crazy to live with, multiple people in one body sounds… I can’t even comprehend the idea. Also, DIFFERENT NAMES FOR DIFFERENT ALTERS? Jeez, it’s actually different people in one body. Man, as I said, I can’t comprehend it.
Well, sort of. Alters are all fragments of a single person, they're all a part of the "host". It is fucking wild to live with, but they're not totally their own person, they're still a part of the host. Kind of like a fucked mental puzzle you're trying to piece together, but the entire puzzle, when finished, is you as a whole. Each alter is a puzzle piece of trauma, helping you accept and move on past the shit you weren't able to address and deal with when you were a child. Idk how this person feels about integration, but that's usually the goal for people with DID. Integration is when alters merge into other alters or the host, they dwindle down the number of alters until its usually just the host. It's not a end all cure all, as alters can come back from deintegration, but if it's kept in check, it shouldn't be much of an issue. Integration is a lot harder for people with a LOT of alters, like 60+. Some systems dont like the thought of integration at all, but thats usually because the stress of all of the repeated trauma would then be placed on the host and the host alone. More healing needs to happen before those people try to integrate. Hope I helped educate you a bit further, feel free to look any of this up yourself!
Hi everyone - we are the DID system from the CZcams video. I want to clear up some misconceptions we've seen in the comments - to do this video, we had to provide Azeal with 70+ pages of medical documentation. We are answering questions in the Discord server if you're interested in learning more. We've read every single comment thus far and just want to say thank you for all the kind words. - Spencer
you guys are awesome, sorry that you have to deal with a bunch of ignorant comments like this. thanks for sharing your story with us!
@@PARKlNG Thank you! There've been far fewer ignorant comments than expected - when we had a TikTok, I'd estimate that 50% of the comments were ignorant or fakeclaiming? Azeal's comment section is much kinder than the ones we're used to and I'm very thankful for that. - Spencer
Hey, sorry if this is a little personal for you, but how many alters do you have, and what are their names, because I dont know if I should refer to individuals with DID as a group, or the singular personality they display in that moment.
You guys are doing great considering all the backlash you received I hope that things keep getting better after you had time to talk about it and exprese yourself
PS: the joke I made in the comment section earlier was a joke I didn't mean to offend or belittle your condition
@@commandercorl1544 We gave Azeal the rough estimate of 26 - we don't actually have an exact count, nor do we want to take the long time to actually count. There's a fair few of us who speak in the discord, namely myself (Spencer), Callie, Avery and Az. If you don't know a DID systems pronouns, the plural or singular they/them works, and most people with DID have a "system name" (in our case, Zenith) which all alters kind of operate under, so we are typically referred to as a group in that regard. - Spencer
I dated a guy with DID and I will never forget it. I was dating the host and all the other alters were so nice to meet and I quickly made friends with any alter that I was able to meet. There was never a moment that he was ever mean. Even though things ultimately didn't work out I hope to never lose him as a friend. :)
aw thats so sweet, people think dating with DID is hard but its actually pretty easy if you dont have social anxiety LOL
Thats so cool, Im currently dating someone with DID and I'm dating the host. Ive learned that their alters also like me as a friend. They always work so hard to protect their host and I've told them all that's its ok and they can relax now and that ill make them happy and ill protect them by all means necessary. They haven't switched out in a long time but I'm not sure if its because of what I said or not
DID is something special
Many people in one body
This might seem rude but you get a package for one.
32 pecies of gum per pack
Hell man i dont have DID but that made me feel safe
24:56 You can actually notice the change. She starts referring to things like she's representing a group, saying things like "we avoided telling our family", or "our mother started going to therapy", while in the previous alter, she referred to things as an individual, saying "I was able to recieve constant support" or "the therapist I was seeing at the time".
also the tone went from a sort of jovial person to a more serious person. They were moving their hands around a lot more in the second alter before going into their third alter of the Video.
If we weren't told in the video that Avery switched to Callie, I wouldn't have been able to notice I think. But when it swaps from Callie to Spencer, there was a very clear change in how they spoke and in their body language, as Random Voice Gamer pointed out with their hands moving a lot less.
Also her mannerism changes, not much of hand movement.
I'll be honest... I couldn't tell when and how the Alters Fronted during this conversation.
My brain: "These pictures are all the same."
Damn, you really need to know someone to notice whoever switched so it wouldn't offend them
"we need an adult" "oh god we are the adult"
Most underrated comment here
WE NEED AN ADULTEIR ADULT
@@Dcreativekid04 (repeats 25 more times)
I’m so grateful that you didn’t just introduce your system, and actually explained your trauma. So many people fake DID and it hurts.
we honestly really didnt even delve into our trauma bc there is so much shame that comes with the trauma necessary to form DID. we tossed a couple examples in that don't really have a hold of us anymore because we knew we'd get insensitive questions. we spent like a month prior to the actual video discussing the topics we wanted to cover w/ DID and ended up shelving talking about each of us (thats too much information, and many of us didn't want to be mentioned/involved) and settled with talking about the diagnostic process and the positive things that came from it. im really hoping the popularity around DID fades in the next few years and that children actually start listening to medical professionals who refuse to diagnose them
also sorry i just woke up and this is SO rambly jfdhgkjdfhg
It truly does hurt pretty bad, and the people faking DID and other serious disorder istg need to stop. /srs -Rya
I don't really understand why people fake DID? because its cool??
@@V1CT1M_666 In their mind, they just want the alters, to have multiple people in your head is "cool" and "fun" and "crazy" and/or they want to have an excuse to act however they want whenever they want and just "blame it on my alter". It really stigmatises DID and OSDD. They very rarely care about the trauma. They either make up some trauma to make it seem more legit, wanting pity and make people believe them or they call themselves "endogenetic systems" ("systems" formed for non traumatic reasons, they aren't a real thing). They even steal real terms and seriously ruin the terms meaning (I'm not going into detail for reasons. Not here at least.) I will never fully understand them except they probably just want attention. They are cruel people who actually hurt others non the less.
@@kalielik thank you /srs -Rya
Damn, it’s like she’s playing a single player game with her siblings, but the controller keeps getting passed around at random times.
this is the funniest fucking comment on this video and i want you to know you've won my "funniest guy in the comment section" award.
@@zenith7522 Lmaooo thank y'all! I hope you have a fantastic day!!!
*EDIT: had to correct from you to y'all as there are multiple lads*
@@gavinlee27 that's so nice 😭
What a wholesome reply section
Welcome to DID next stop : why am I here boulevard
its so sad how people fake did and other disorders, when it affects everyones lives that have it, including her. hope the best :(
I genuinely despise those especially the ones that fake disorders for clout
@@Ren-ps6re same, how can someone do such a thing, and think its okay??? or even KNOW ITS WRONG AND DOES IT ANYWAY- it gets me so mad.
Oh i fucking despise those who fake disorders
The things people do for money and attention is ridiculous, it just effects everyone in a negative way.
The amount of people I meet in college that fake disorders amazes me
I was honestly expecting 26 people in vr chaotically controlling one person but this is better. Very informative.
This sucks it’s boring they are just sitting there
@@TotallyAlisa because it’s supposed to be educational about their DID experiences. It doesn’t suck it’s just you aren’t interested in the topic, so click off the vid instead of writing a negative comment.
@@TotallyAlisa It was an educational video ^^
well DID isnt really something that just happens, usually there is a trigger to make you switch to another alter other than just doing it like nothing happened
@@Mr_Tophatt They werent talking about DID, they meant 26 seperate people
I got diagnosed with DID in 2019 and currently trying to get my autism diagnosis.
Got bullied since kindergarden, very abusive family, sa and rape were daily things. Can't remember it, but i can read what happend in my diary.
Panic attacks and paranoia were going on every day. These things all went on for 16 years, until i suddenly was in an orphanage and one of the workers there became my mom.
Today we have around 20 headmates, amnesia got better, we're in therapy for 4-5 years.
It's always intresting to hear other peoples experience.
Thanks for sharing they're story. ^-^
I like how you say "we" and not just me. Cause there are many people in there.
@@q_0191 it's actually scary on this case cause the alter probably just branch off and delete/ locked the memory cause they say it's amnesia and not a switch
if you dont mind me asking, do you guys know the names of eachother?
@@SoreiLovesMel of some. We have notebooks and Journals, where most write their name down
@@Taro_liam thats cool! having DID seems both annoying and interesitng at the same time!
I met a lot of people with this disorder in my life. It honestly feels like you talking to a different person when someone else is fronting. Their voice change, posture, and mannerism are different. I remember one of my old friends with this disorder I could tell when/who was fronting, it could get annoying when being in deep conversation, then all of a sudden noticing someone else was in the diver seat, but most of the time fun to hang out whoever was fronting. Then after a while noticing my friend is back in the driver's seat and I have to give a recap of what happened. People with DID are nice people and are not odd.
As improbable as winning the lottery twice to meet one person. Lots???
If the statistics for how many people have it are correct, that's extremely improbable that you've met "a lot." I've never met someone with DID (or at least someone that's open about it), and nobody I know seems to have either.
@@Reyd_01 it is estimated that 1-2% of the general population has DID and the number id higher for OSDD. 140 million, dude. 2% of 7 billion is still a lot of people
@@Breadn Yeah DID is a covert disorder that even the person having it isn't supposed to know about. A friend of mine recently confessed to me he has DID, and if they hadn't told me, there would have been absolutely no way for me to tell
@@StarrySkyyyy more like 8 billion, but that figure is still more than I thought it would be. My immediate question to mind is how concentrated are total cases to the US, and how many more are centralized to certain cities, with the same Dr's diagnosing a lot of people?
Without looking I'd be willing to place money on a bet that the most DID diagnosis in the world centers in CA or MA?
Whoa, you can legitimately tell when she switches. The switch from Avery to Callie wasn't as obvious. But the switch from Callie to Spencer was really obvious. You can play some random point in the beginning of the video like at 4:46, then go to something later like 26:10 to really see the difference. Avery speaks in a higher pitched voice and more quickly, while Spencer speaks in a lower voice and more slowly. Avery also seemed to have more pitch differences when she spoke, while Spencer was more soft spoken and less variation in pitch.
yooooo scp pfp nice
@@zenith7522 Wait. You weren't supposed to see this. Deploying MTF units to deliver amnestics.
@@thefoundation3489 MTF units = motherfucking units?
@@VRavTech Mobile task force (it's an SCP reference)
@@thefoundation3489 i know, it was a joke
The way all of us lowkey doubted them to have DID in the first place is honestly so sad and disappointing. Social media (tiktok especially) has been using these disorders as a funny little quirk so much to the point whenever someone who genuinely has them speaks about their experience, they're declared to cry wolf as well.
Having any kind of illness isn't quirky or cute, people have to adjust their lives so their illnesses won't affect them so severely. Just be grateful you're healthy and find an actual hobby
All of us? You meant you did? speak for yourself.... and I dunno myb you should feel terrible about it or whatever
@@kittencutie7074 Literally look at the rest of the comments. I do feel bad for assuming that, that was the entire point of my comment. Get off your high horse, geez
@@b.bird. still poor wording on your part dude
Dude.....she says she has autism.....if you ever met anyone with autism even at high functioning......its nothing like this, this is a lecture, and has all the making of a normal person....just has or say has DID, and now days its bard to take them to heart when its a badge to have a disorder
@@chriswysocki5274 Chris at least learn basic English before trying to string schizo sentences
I feel this made me understand DID better. The way she explained that the disorder is not about the alters, but about the dissociation from trauma really helped. The alters are the minds way of making it feel like it “happened in history” or “it happened to someone else”. Alters are a symptom of the dissociation process, not the main core of the disorder. The dissociation is the core of the disorder.
Excellent takeaways. Similarly it dawned on me that smaller dissociations (though common enough in everyday life) aren't all that well understood as such. Sleep or flow states don't leave much in the way of direct memories either, but we seem to be able to piece it back together. Logjams with those can happen too.
Yes, and yes! Thank you!
Technically, ALL humans have multiple personalities. So yes, you are correct that the alters are not the problem, the dissociation is the problem.
You are 100% right. "It happened to somebody else, not me" is the core of this disorder. I personally know someone with DID and it is the same thing. The mind tries to cope with trauma loading it off on the other personalities so some of this alters carry the load of the trauma and some are able to function "normally". This comes with severe downsides as the traumatized alters are not gone and they may show up from time to time causing severe problems.
This video really helped me understand DID a lot better than anyone else I've heard from... for all the reasons you explain in this comment.
My therapist thinks I have a dissociative disorder (because of trauma) but I never thought until now that the connections to people who develop alters is so finely connected.... it's given me a lot to think about.
I love that their system finally got the support they needed. It was genuinely beautiful to listen to how the system's communication became stronger as time went on with the correct therapy. It must have felt so validating and comforting for the host to meet their alters and finally have the tools to strengthen the community inside of their body.
Thank you! It's been a very difficult journey, and we've backtracked almost as often as we've moved forward, but it's amazing what proper treatment has done. We're two years into our diagnosis, and have finally been able to see an ISST-D certified therapist, so we're looking forward to see what our life looks like a decade or two into treatment! - Spencer
Man, those dramas with DID always makes it like it's a lovetriangle with 2 person.
I'm a system? What am I : a Windows 10!?
(I'm joking but I do actually have DID) but I'm pretty sure mine or more independent and involved then her's (I got 19 "people") I say that because mine are like actually people except for one he scares me (because he can't feel anything, he barely has a sense of touch. He can't feel hungry or tired or thirsty or pain) wail two can read without glasses just fine and one almost completely changes how I look (I start to look and sound A LOT like my dad) his name is Norm
It's almost like a movie plot, like a super hero with different personality for each scenario, kindo of like the film Glass
The memory loss part of DID is what terrifies me the most. I mean, sharing my body with others? Hey, cool, built-in friends... if we get along. The trauma? Well, it sucks, but at least I'm not alone. Not knowing what's happening? Yikes. Scary scary scary.
Thank you for talking about what cases DID, and that the disorder actually centers around. The alters seem fun and cool if you don't know why they exist (And for me personally, the memory loss) but once you do, like many other mental illness, it finally sinks in that it's not fun. It's not cool. It's something terrible that the people who deal with it on a daily basis really do struggle with.
Its kinda like those cool things animal do that we love, that actually are like, defense mechanisms from getting eaten alive by a thousand predators
The good thing is, that with enough time and therapy, while you may not remember it, you can work out of a system of communication so that you're never out of the loop. And some systems have more or less amnesia than others of course.
i appreciate so immensely the confrontation of the plurality community and how toxic it is to people who actually have DID
Was almost expecting a funny video about multiple people controlling the same avatar somehow, instead got educated about a serious lifelong disorder.
wait hold on i want to see this idea
@@zenith7522 that would be such a fun challenge! Like trying to play a vr game with multiple people controlling the character at the same time!
+
+
Well thanks for sending me down that thought spiral. The most logical and also funny solution I came up with would be using N seperate sets of vr gear and running a custom openXR application that sends all the position data to the host where it gets averagred out, so if half point to the right and the other half to the left, the character arm ends somewhere in the middle. Same goes for controller inputs; button presses are determined by majority vote. Certainly doable but oh boy would it require a good bit of coding. Compute power not so much as you'd essentially only be running the game once with the the input from all and essentially splitting the displayport signal out to every heaset from a single DP port.
And youd need to stand in a tight circle or use expensive af fiber displayport and usb extenders because anything else would suffer from degradation or even worse, lag. It would probably still make you violently ill but thats something I'd be willing to risk alongside several friendships while we scream at that one birdbrain for throwing our aim off xD
Edit: Spelling. Twice. Why do I only notice the errors after hitting save?
I keep seeing people say DID is as rare as being struck by lightning, and it is not! The prevalence of DID is roughly 1.5%, whereas the odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 500,000. DID is medically rare, which is not the same thing as statistically improbable, thank you!
That's an interesting fact I have learnt :D my love for learning new facts grows, thank you for that
I have a very close friend with it and so does another friend of mine. Mental illnesses are not nearly as rare as we think they are. We’re just not aware.
Also, a lot of people aren’t diagnosed with it or don’t know how to be diagnosed with it. We have it and it took a long time because a lot of doctors in my area didn’t believe it was an actual disorder :| xx
@@joyin9852 yeah! there aren't a lot of people who are medically diagnosed and modt aren't until later in their life; despite being a disorder that develops from childhood trauma most women with DID aren't diagnosed until much later in their life, iirc the number was 30 years old.
Those are some sad ass statistics, considering the context of how DID is brought upon in a person.
imagine being such a bad parent or caretaker that your child has to form a parent to survive- it makes me tear up everytime I hear about specific stories but it also teaches me more about people and things and its quite interesting
very true. just keep in mind that not all folks with DID have bad parents ! my parents are decent people and i was diagnosed w/ DID
these people make my anxiety disorder look like a walk in the park, christ
If it were so easy on both accounts (your valid all the same)
Lmao I feel this (I deal with anxiety too). Doesn't make our shit any easier- it's all just variations of *hard*
It’s a breath of fresh air to finally hear someone who isn’t faking their mental disorders, genuinely describing her experiences and her feelings without being “uwu my dream alter fronted again” I wish her nothing but the best ❤️❤️
yeah I could genuinely tell after she switched to Spencer that she was slightly different in her personality for example referring to themselves as we much more often.
Yeah like halfway thru the vid when she swapped from Avery to Callie, I couldn't really tell the difference. Part of me thought it could be another person possibly faking their condition.
But then the Callie to Spencer switch happened and it was extremely obvious that she is not faking this. I can imagine a diagnosis like this could be troublesome and i hope she can figure out a way to live life smoothly
I hate people like that
Fictional characters can get introjected as system members. This is a medically recognized thing. They get a lot of stigma for something they can’t control. A CZcamsr could be an important comfort character to a young system. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s cringe, it might really help a system. Think before you add to the stigma
@@Jamestownsys Listen to what I said, I said “uwu” because that is the way all the fake people show off their “did” I’m not saying they can’t have fictional characters
i was doubting this title and this video in general because of people faking this disorder but now after watching a couple minutes i can tell it’s real.
Azeal went on a whole ass rant about how people faking these sorts of things are jokes and need to be banned, so I didn't think they'd upload someone faking it.
@@abagel6063 yeah azeal seems like a very trustworthy person. even the fact that they do thorough research and confirmation before even uploading.
@@BucketheadLand I appreciate that, thank you
I thought the same thing. But after watching the whole video. I 100% believe her.
I heard it's parts in a whole instead of wholes in a whole
22:05 It won't ever go away followed-up by that sigh. Stay strong girl, you've come so far and we are proud of you
I have DID. Her story especially with the struggle with therapy and trying to get properly diagnosed reminded me so much like mine. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me because the first few psychiatrists I was recommended to were the ones who did not believe DID and OSDD exists. They constantly invalidated us, gave us the wrong diagnosis, and just a whole mess throughout my teens. When I was 19 I found one that did recognize DID as a disorder but they were very unprofessional and abusive with their practice. They belittled me, told me that I couldn't have developed DID because I had no history of childhood trauma which was complete bullshit because I did with tons of evidence and witnesses documented by previous social workers and therapists. They would jump around from yes you definately have Dissociative Identify Disorder to no you don't and you're a faker who wants attention because I totally wanted attention after paying hundreds of dollars and desprately asking for help. They told us that that the only cure was integrating all my alters into one conscious which is not only impossible but extremely risky and traumatic. My time with them was so bad that for a long period I experienced extreme derealization and more fragments formed. Caused me and my whole system to stop therapy and treatment cold turkey and have an intense aversion to any mental health care even though we desperately needed it. Only years later when my husband convinced me and my system did we go back to therapy and found a specialist that recognized that the plurality wasn't something to get rid of or to treat but the disassociation, depersonalization, derealization, the flash backs, the trauma, and the mountain of problems that comes with the disorder.
I hate the people who fake DID because of they don't live through the struggles and pain that comes with it and they make it harder for people with the actual disorder to find proper and sufficient treatment.
What I hate more than fakers are the shitty people who abuse children and caused them so much pain that the disorder develops. I hope to any higher power that my children and yours don't develop DID or OSDD because it's not fun or quirky. It's painful and frustrating, but the nightmare is how a child develops it in the first place.
I have dissociation as a result of my mental illness, but I couldn’t imagine dealing with that level of dissociation. It sounds so stressful
I'm sorry to hear you experience that, dissociation does definitely fall on a spectrum so I'm glad you brought up that it's possible to experience dissociation without having DID, or even any specific dissociative disorder.
@@Azeal I have had issues when talking about my dissociation at times where people get confused and think I mean I have DID, but yes, it is a spectrum. It can be as small as feeling slightly out of body, but still mostly present to full periods of absence mentally.
@@elil8094 it’s the same with me, sometimes I dissociate as part of my anxiety disorder (depending on the trigger) and I never really explained it to people except like my therapist and a few close people, but the first time I had that out of body detached experience, it was terrifying.
@@jasonb1345 that’s how it is with me most of the time when I dissociate. When I’m having a strong episode I have gone days feeling not entirely there or even feel real. Kind of like living my life looking through a tv screen. Dissociation is scary, and I am sorry you go through this.
Dear God I almost cried seeing this comment. I haven't watched the video, and I do plan to soon, but I was looking for a comment like this. Dissociation is a pretty terrifying thing especially when you can't feel out your triggers and understand what's inducing it. I've gotten to the point of thinking I know my triggers and then getting the rug pulled from under me multiple times and being left in the dark again. And even worse is when it just lingers for days on end very lowkey. The past 5 years of my life have been just that. I've never felt entirely in my head very often. It's just been a lingering nothingness and detachment. It's awful.
I'm glad you made a video on this! DID is a very demonized/romanticized disorder so I'm glad that they were brave enough to share their experiences. To any systems reading this, you're all so brave, and I hope that you are doing well
Yeah, i mean theres even a community that tries to develop DID or at least attempt to create their own alter personas for fetishes by using hypnosis and subliminal suggestions. How do I know? I was in that discord server and I attempted it myself. I did the process for months before it started showing signs. I'm now inactive in that group and for now I dont think it did any permanent damage to me.
@@terencepaul7475 That just sounds like a fucked up version of tulpamancy, which no self respecting practitioner of that group would call themselves DID OSDD or any other disorder
@@terencepaul7475 I don’t think it even actually works, since I know there’s a phenomenon where it tricks your brain into believing you have it. It happened to someone I knew and they thought they had it for awhile because of the communities they were apart of before finally realizing they didn’t.
@@niikoban545 I'm not too sure myself, it took me a while before I felt anything. The most I got was having trouble focusing. 1 minute I was gonna this stuff but somewhere in the middle I ended up doing a completely different thing. No blackouts, just like what Zenith said, the feeling of you kinda know how you got there but dont really recall the exact details. Also triggers started showing some effect in me, but only 2 of the many triggers that were supposed to be installed.
I was scared of getting into this video since most of the content about DID on youtube triggers me but this was really nice and I didn't know I needed to hear this today ^^
My “friend” used to use DID as excuses to make random outbursts, never was medically diagnosed, and they told me one day “you know what’s funny ___ I’m flying about my disorder HAHAHAHA” after a dentist appointment where she had laughing gas. Something along the lines of that and confused slurring English. And later she said “I don’t like the term alters, they are just me but different” 😭 genuinely shook me to my core.
Holy shit, this is incredibly accurate. As someone with DID, it's amazing to see someone speak about this condition so clearly. It's easy to see that they're not lying.
This video is far better than some others out there that further stigmatize and worsen the view of the disorder.
It's good that they have people in their lives who actually accept AND believe them, that kind of support helps ALOT for dealing with any form of mental disorder.
Accepting and believing is one thing. Understanding it and knowing what to do, is another skill set entirely for everyone because people genuinely do not know.
@@absolstoryoffiction6615 Sadly getting others to understand is usually quite a bit harder.
It's crazy to know how diverse people are in this world, this is the first time I've seen person with DID and learn what it was! Overall, I really enjoyed this informative video!
I am starting to be suspicious of myself for DID- and I think this video helped me confirm it just a tiny but more. But obviously it's gonna take a long time to figure out. Before anyone goes around saying that I think I have DID for what it's most popular of, that's not what I'm talking about. Why I think I possibly have it is that I recently have been talking more and more with my mom and she's revealed many events and routines (trauma associated) that I can't seem to remember. She has talked about my dad, 3 times where I've gone missing for a while, all the odd people I've met, the abuse I got from some adults, and all the family trauma. I can't remember a single thing. Like what they said in the video- I don't feel mad about it either. I don't have any opinion on it. Alongside that, since I'm still experiencing verbal abuse from almost everyone in my life, it seems that for every major event that happens, I get a new mindset or emotional experience. And it feels weird because every time anything happens I lose track of time, I comfort myself with my own thoughts, so it seems like I'm a different person with a different response to everything. Is this normal?
To be honest, there is very different ways DID can be for everyone. It's very different cause not only is there subcategories to DID like OSDD. But, we all have different brains obviously which means it all feels and the way you treat situations or feel is different. We're a system, and I understand the fear of thinking you have DID only to be knocked down because you're worried about people seeing it as "oh, you're saying you have an illness because it's popular" but you genuinely should feel happy with figuring yourself out and your system if you have one. I think the way you're explaining your possible experience is normal. Anything can be normal. Most people who have OSDD(Specifically 1A iirc) don't even see their alters are separate but more of a "different version of themselves" are a system. If you've been researching deeply for this, and feel that it's a hunch, you should continue believing in yourself and figuring it out. A new mindset and emotional experience could definitely be from a new alter, or it could be possible the alter changes to cope with the situation/new set. It's very weird but interesting how systems can experience things differently. We believe in you.
❤❤❤
I recommend getting that checked out, you shouldnt feel worried about getting called attention seeker or something similar to it.
I noticed that she says "My Dad" at 0:54, and then "Our Mother" at 25:04. A tiny detail that somewhat hit me.
I didn't even catch that, interesting!
I have OSDD-1b (a variant of DID)
This person describes how it feels so well. Their descriptions show their knowledge on the topic and I hope that it comes across the same way for people that don’t know much about it.
Would it be comfortable for me to ask what differs OSDD-1b from DID in your experience? I've always been curious on the subject of mental illnesses like these, and I would like to learn more.
@@honkandursun9402 OSDD-1b is basically just DID without (most) of the amnesia. It’s not too different from DID.
Thank you for asking! You’re always free to talk to me over discord if you’re interested :)
@@leapfroggrr I see.. very interesting! I like to talk and interact with people who have DID and similar mental illnesses, especially with their alters. I'm not sure why, I just find it extremely fascinating to interact with people diagnosed with it.
Thanks for answering!
BS
me too! their description of how childhood memories feel for them and talking about their greyouts reeaallyyy resonated with me because it is the same way for us! my in-denial-self had to pause for a minute and just think cause Holy Shit is it validating hearing diagnosed systems talk about experiences that are incredibly similar to mine..
Wow the difference in body language/gestures and voice were really interesting to see every time they switched alters. The first one was more subtle but the second was so different.
Both times were right about when memories of meaningful healing conversations occurred.
Callie when recalling the therapist's agreement at six months in, Spencer when recalling a friend's validation in college.
The change in mannerisms went with a slight shift in word-usage, too. Makes me wonder how and if code-switching is also affective, or if it is primarily a switch in perspective that put another alter forward.
Either way, it's fascinating stuff.
@WKMF did she really though? she was talking about her friends and family being accepting of the disorder. it’s perfectly normal to be more playful when youre talking about good moments in your life.
if the pauses werent there to say when another alter fronted i dont think anyone would’ve realised.
Spencer was a *super* obvious and drastic switch, very interesting
A few years ago, I fell down a hole of research about DID, and extensively knew a lot. I since then have found a lot of the sources I got my information from were either unreliable or just outright false, and I’ve been avoiding most DID related media for fear of being misguided again. I found this video and started out out cautious, but I’ve very thankful for what seams to be a more reliable source and genuine information
Thank you so much for your kind words! Unfortunately a lot of media (TV shows, comics, etc) have so much misinformation. I encourage everyone I speak to about it to look up sources and fact check when faced with a depiction of any mental health disorder, especially DID.
It was very interesting, we could hear the changes of tone in her voice, the speed at which she spoke, a slight change in accent also at one point and see the non-verbal change while she was explaining her story!🤔
I can't imagine how exhausting dealing with a condition like this must be by itself. Then you have people coming out pretending to have it and making fun of it.
My fiance suffers from this and it can be really hard on him when things get so stressful that he switches.
Thank you for being so open and talking about this with us. Wishing all the best for you.
yeah this is the first time ive seen someone not faking it by saying "all my alters are dream smp members"
@@fishpickles7316
There are crazy people... Who know exactly what they're doing.
Then there are genuine people... Which Nature or Nurture or both rolled the dice poorly.
But for me... I couldn't nor wouldn't be able to tell the difference between genuine disorders and how the human body normally functions. As for the fakers, I'm a bit more merciless in this regard. Knowing Good and Evil in my hands, so I expect better from humans who chose to be fake. Otherwise, we get idiots who commit crime and blame it on a "disorder". It simply wastes the Court's time during the lawsuit.
But alas... Humans are humans. Nothing they do is beyond my expectations... Given existence itself.
@@fishpickles7316 dude that's beyond cringe, that's degenerate
I've been all over the internet. Aside from actual TikTok. I've never actually seen anybody make fun of DID, although I have met those who claim to have it
@@fishpickles7316 as a system its suspicious when they say all of them but it is possible to have a lot of fictives if the source comforts them; for example we have a fictive thats came from a character i wrote during a really bad time in my life, he was my escape and so eventually the stress piled up until he was created to help calm us.
we were bEYOND ecstatic to see this in our recommended tonight!! we're an osdd-1b system of 97+ alters, so we don't have the full-on amnesia that those with did have. it mainly manifests in emotional amnesia, where you can remember something, but depending on who the memory properly belongs to, you feel practically nothing toward it, but you still acknowledge it happened. it was really nice to see someone talk about this on here and to hear about their own personal experience, especially from someone who genuinely has it! seeing endogenics everywhere is so tiring - holly
God damn
i relate to this!! but yeah i agree with the endogenics thing, i'm sick of them too omg.
You what?! Wow
Lmfao you ever meet the Andromeda system
Not trying to be rude whatsoever just surprised, but holy shit 97+?? I've only ever heard of systems having a handful, maybe 20 at most, but 97+??? Props to yall for handling that, I know for a fact I myself could not
i haven't watched through this video in it's entirety yet but as someone who has DID this video so far has made me feel seen. it's made US feel seen, like we're more than just "the disorder". your story, zenith, has been absolutely wonderful to hear. it's almost like an awakening, even if that's a weird way to put it. thank you for letting azeal share this, thank you for putting this out in the world. it's so nice to see good DID anecdotes in a world where it's very looked down upon. 💕
It's horrific people go through disorders like this, but somehow fascinating how the human mind ends up handling extreme trauma. I hope they're able to lead the best life they can, they deserve it for what they've been through.
4:00 one common misconception that I love and hate is the idea that Autism is purely a mental disorder, the truth of the matter is that mental aspect is somewhat there and it can be far more prominent for others( it's different for everyone) but for me at least the social aspect is more home field
It always puts a smirk on my face when I hear people using Autistic as an insult to one's intelligence, because at least my perception of it is, it's a social disorder more than mental
Social issues COME from mental disabilities sometimes. If you cannot comprehend certain social interactions because your brain won't let you, it's going to cause social awkwardness.
For example, many people with autism have a lot of trouble understanding sarcasm, which makes them seem like they have no sense of humour and take things too seriously.
@@russianbigbird4161 Yeah that's funny, tbh. Many autistic people have a rather average, or even high, intelligence aside from social skills.
@@Nakia11798 fair
Social is part of mental no?
My boyfriend has it as well. His alters are very nice, and the host lets them free range essentially whenever they feel like they want to come out. I love each and every one of them.
It's always good to see other systems represented in a good light. It's hard getting diagnosed, I am glad I have a therapist that's listening to us.
Edit: I would like to add, there are quite a few mental healthcare providers who are quick to dismiss anything such as DID.
I really dislike peoples' fixation on whether people with multiple personalities are "faking it" or not. Seems like that fixation on calling out "fakers" is what really hurts people with DID. I don't have DID myself, but as a trans person I know what it's like to feel like I have to medicalize and catastrophize my own identity, rather than accepting it as a part of me that I can gain some enjoyment and value from.
If someone says "I have multiple personalities" and your response is "yeah, but do you really", then *you're the asshole*
Ugh some ppl on the internet are just sht. It's the same thing about those idiots claimint they're trying to suppirt a group of people or trying to solve racism by... being racist. Ugh. Also, opinions, phrases and thoughts and comments, and feelings are copyrighted now. I can't believe some ppl are actually capable of thinking that way and believing they are doing sth for a good cause while theyre just bein a piece of sht
Thank you. All the focus on faking only serves to marginalize people who have it but present differently than the medically accepted standard. Just because someones system works differently doesnt mean theyre faking, and i really wish people would focus more on mutual support and less on infighting
@Shazy Shaze Hello! Sorry for the poke here when your comment is 2 weeks old, but alters aren't separate personalities but actually real whole people. This is one of the reasons the name Multiple Personality Disorder was replaced, they aren't just alternate personas, sure they may be referred to as alters but just to have a solid label, and each may have different personalities... But that's in the same way that you and I along with everyone else has different/unique personalities.
@@widget5718 Is that so? I'll update my lexicon. Thanks for letting me know!
@@ShazyShaze you're welcome and no problem! Also you're right on the nose about people trying to figure out if someone is faking and then just being horrible for the community... They ultimately become skeptical/critical of so many systems because they're.. too weird, have too many alters, they like to change their clothes or something cause someone else switched in... All things that shouldn't be criticized cause DID, OSDD systems are all unique and not some cookie cutter layout.
i like the "badge of honor" thing they brought up. DID tries to help you cope with traumatic events, and trying to see it positively even when it does get in the way of other things is really cool. ik i regard my cptsd like that a bit, it helped me with an unstable childhood. i dont need it as much now but i guess im, in the end, grateful for it in a weird way
Personally I don’t like the idea that d.i.d. Is a chosen thing that develops to help you especially given our new understanding of it, which is that it simply developes because of trauma happening before the time a child is able to form a solid personality which is a natural part of human development. D.i.d. Isn’t a thing that chooses to help you, it’s a thing that happens by accident and saying it’s to help you is both inaccurate and romanticized. (From a person with d.i.d.) some of her understandings are not updated, like you don’t need severe trauma the way we think, trauma is defined by the DSM-5 as anything that makes you feel unsafe or overwhelms you, and for did normally that would just be prolonged feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. For a lot of people with d.i.d. They don’t know why they have it(I mean the amnesia is a factor) but most of them feel they didn’t suffer severe enough trauma or any trauma at all, especially enough to cause it. But knowing the knew definition makes it finally make sense.
@@animemicheal I love how you refer to it as DID but then reference DSM-5.
DID isn't a recognized terminology and is not present in university copies of DSM-5 because its a term that has not yet been approved or recognized by international mental health regulatory bodies as being a thing. The correct terminology is still MPD or OSDD-1
@@JustAGooseman I'm referring to it as DID because thats what the creator used, and ALSO MPD is the outdated term, they changed it to DID in 1994. I am CLINICALLY Diagnosed with DID. Yes OSDD is another term for it though it is separate from DID, though i was referring to both. Anyways you're wrong because MPD is the outdated term, and im literally diagnosed DID. I was referring to the definition of TRAUMA not DID, though my definition actually comes from a modern biology of trauma summit where scientists and doctors, people with specialties and PHD's all discuss trauma an d its relation to the body, who are known to be ahead of their fields. So its a more recent definition, which hasnt been added to the DSM quite yet, but will be in the future.
@@JustAGooseman Lmao, its literally page 292-298 in the DSM-5. Literally the first thing under the chapter "dissociative disorders"
Better than the alternative of losing your mind completely due to trauma, it's almost like a super power for the damaged, the human body/mind is and amazing thing.
Thinking of it like the badge of honor is a good thing I think.
It's a nice change to see people actually dealing with these things instead of the constant faking you see everywhere nowadays. I struggle with cptsd and get occasional panic attacks, and have seen loads of people fake panic attacks and make light of *actual* triggers on vrchat; even seen some content creators do it, it's extremely demoralizing and makes me feel like I can't talk about these things without being called an attention whore. I hate it so much. Azeal, channels like yours, and videos like these are a refresher, and it gives me back some of that hope in humanity that I've lost.
I remember my first panic attack, I ended up hyper ventilating in a Costco parking lot, I freaked out, thought I was having a heart attack and my mom call 911, paramedics come, "your just hyperventilating, eat a banana you need potassium, now look at where I'm pointing, what do you see". The paramedics were really cool, plus I bet Costco was happy cause they got a random spur of the moment banana purchase
the actual triggers?
@@Kaznor you? Apparently...you seem very upset, nothing is the same for anyone so I'm guessing he's speaking about what he knows as common and definite triggers, as humans we tend to project ourselves and how things are for us on others, it's very natural, I can understand your irritation at the phrasing he chose but that's that, he already sent it, and your already upset about it( I assume)(my apologies if you aren't upset and are genuinely just asking a question...I'm not the best a reading people...or more so what people say and whether it's meant literally or not) Now civil discourse is one thing, I'm all for that, but if you intend to take offense to such a basic wording choice when it's made clear he's referring to his own personal experiences. Now if you find an issue with his wording and you intend to converse with him about it and listen then talk, and attempt to better understand what's going on go for it. Either way...I can't stop you, I'm just some kid behind a keyboard
@@russianbigbird4161 lmao
@@Kaznor Real triggers are what people with ptsd have, things that 'trigger' a traumatic memory or something that is done or said that brings you back to that moment, which often causes a panic attack or the like, that's what real triggers are. Triggers are not little things you might not 'like', but that's unfortunately how loads of pre-teens are using that word now, and that pisses me off, because it makes people who struggle with very real triggers look like attention whores.
My cousin apparently dated someone with DID. But the alter they were dating went dormant and apparently when that happens theirs no guarantee that they'll ever become active again.
I'm so glad I found this video. My mom has DID, and recently some very horrible things happened to her and the last couple of months for her have kind of been lost. This is helping to educate me quite a bit, but I wish there was more I could do to help her with the events that have happened. It would involve court if charges were to be pressed, but with the trauma she's faced and the time she's lost, god can only imagine how distressing it would even be for her to go through all of that.
My mom has done so much for me over the past 21 years, and I can only wish I could do nearly as much to help her through all of this. Thank you for this video.
I have a Fiancé that has DID with numerous alters and I’ve honestly never been happier in my life in meeting them 4 years ago now.
They’re the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and it makes me so happy to see this being discussed and made aware of by them and others. It’s such a relief to see this coming more to light because it’s such an important thing to talk about.
I have heard of DID but ive never seen/met anyone with it, well, actually diagonsed anyway. They are all amazing people im sure, they were very cute at the end trying to figure out who started the recording. May they live a peaceful life. ♥
Wow, mustve been hard having it huh
Could you maybe give some insights into how you got it?
@@electrifiedbathbomb7383 they meant they have never met anyone diagnosed with it
@@tonykhang1984 oh wow im a dumbass, time to dig myself a shame hole
Listening to this video it kinda helps those who don’t know what people with DID can go through when getting diagnose get a better feel of how this disorder works. It just kinda helps people get a better understanding on what DID is and what it’s like. So thank you for doing this interview and thank you to Zenith for sharing your experience you guys did an amazing job.
Oh my goodness, I relate to your diagnosis journey so much. Getting tied up in the plurality community was a huge mistake I made when I was 18. Ended up believing I was faking and repressed everything I was experiencing. Being diagnosed and treated with bipolar one from age 17-22, never understanding why the bazillion meds they tried didn't work. Hearing voices and thinking I was psychotic. Losing significant amounts of time was a big problem for me too.
It's funny, I was diagnosed in March 2021 by a trauma specialist. I had been in the therapeutic realm since age 10 when my brother passed away. So 12 years in the system for me. When I found out the diagnosis I was pretty surprised, but everything about my life made so much more sense. It changed my life, for real. I was actively suicidal for years and questioning reality at every turn. Realizing there was a reason for everything helped so much. DID is so so hard to live with, but finally understanding what's going on changed everything for me.
When I told my fiance (who I had been dating for 5 years now and was getting married to in a year) about the DID she said "Wow, I was wondering when you would notice." Apparently she had noticed several different "versions" of me for years and just kinda mentally filed it away. She started researching DID and felt like that made sense, but never talked to me about it because she didn't want to freak me out. When I told her I had it she pretty much just said she already knew. Wasn't expecting that at all!!
Thanks for sharing your story. I like that you focused on diagnostics and such and didn't get into alters as much. While DID is alters, it's more C-PTSD than anything and the alters are just a byproduct of severe trauma. Hope things continue to go well with you! -Jules
I have some friends with d.i.d (same body) tbh they are some of the best people I know and I'm glad I'm friends with all of them and if I'm going to be 100% honest I probably wouldn't have made it through 2020 without them. They are all good friends and don't let anyone tell you that online friends aren't real friends.
Yea I've got a friend with did. They are one of my favorite people's and I know I can go to em for anything
damn straight online friends are real friends cause that's like 80% of my friends at this point because I'm socially awkward and sever other things
I get told that alot even though my online friends make me happy
No you dont. It's so rare that the chance of you meeting more than one person with it means you've also been struck by lightning twice, won the lottery twice, and/or have a 5th limb.
@@Reyd_01 tho if ur friends with mostly people who went through a lot of trauma, it becomes significantly more likely
I dont understand why people in a community would know someone has ptsd... and hate them for it?? Why did the people from that group attack her? And why would they want to demedicallize DID? Like, what does someone having DID have to do with them?
They're often mad about the fakers, or fakers themselves.
seems they met a particularly bad branch of the plurality community, plurality as a concept is more of a blanketing term as we understand it, including more than just did, as in plural means any potential source of multiple people one brain and similar things, though some take it very weirdly and terribly sometimes, especially on big internet communities, as what happens in all big internet communities
the demedicalization of did isnt inherent to plurality, but yeah, it is a prevalent idea in certain communities around it, especially on the internet, and even more especially in the ones with mostly teenagers, who dont often know or care about the actual material results of doing so
DID can't be "demedicallized" because it isn't medical science in the first place. The DSM-5 lacks any diagnostics measures for 'DID' and the closest thing to it is OSDD-1b.
DID isn't recognized by any major educational or government regulatory bodies that handle and classify mental illnesses. A big reason is because there is no actual discernable evidence it isn't just OSDD-1b with amnesic symptoms.
@@JustAGooseman im not sure what ur point is sorry... are u saying they should add it in or that this whole thing is a load of crock? /srs
i feel like if u can be diagnosed and treated for it by a doctor isnt that medical? medicalized? my point was i dont understand what the motives of that group she was in were.
@@usagirocks I feel like maybe they're trying to demedicalize it to destigmatize it. Maybe in their minds it should be treated more similarly to how trans people are treated.
But the problem is DID literally only arises because of severe and/or repeated childhood trauma; there's no evidence to suggest it isn't a medical disorder. This is in contrast to the scientific consensus that transness is not inherently a disorder (though gender dysphoria exists).
This is just my thoughts, I do not have DID so I will not speak for anyone in the community.
And the argument can be made that demedicalizing it creates room for more people to fake it if they can cop out by saying 'well I didn't have trauma but....' transmeds (people who think transness is medical) make the same argument but they don't have evidence for it.
It's so disappointing that DID can be doubted so easily now due to masses of people on the internet faking it for clout. It just alienates the actual people with the disorder even more.
fr fr.
They explained this so well!! I knew what DID was before but I didn’t quite understand what it *felt* like for those who have it. I don’t have it so obviously I’ll never know on a deep deep level what it’s like but they all helped me with understanding what it can be like and now I feel like I can empathize a lot better with those who got it. I hope that if they ever do tell their family that they are nothing but accepting and loving and I’m wishing them the best
I relate to this so much. The catatonic dissosiative episodes. The freaking out about the voices in my head. Honestly I always thought the constant arguing was ADHD (I was diagnosed with ADHD+ at 4 and autism at 20ish?). Oh, and I knew I turned into a 4 year old during certain triggers for a few years but I always thought that was a migraine thing. I don't *usually* "lose time" it's usually more like my body is moving on its own while I have absolutely no control. Grey outs are more common but black ours happen when I'm "sleeping". Honestly it all just makes me angry nobody saw the obvious signs of severe PTSD and thought to get me out of that environment as a kid. I'm just glad the 5 of us main fronters are in a good balance and manage to work together these days. Oddly enough, we function better now than pre discovery because I actually get some rest and I'm not subconsciously fighting switches anymore.
It's really powerful seeing them treat it not as some problem they have, but as the proof that they were able to live through something, which is really cool to see terms of their outlook on what happened to them.
I was diagnosed with this nearly 2 years ago, and this is a very well done video, it's been a while since I resonated this strongly to any information put out on the disorder (that isn't clinical/research). Well done.
I like how she says we acknowledging that she is several people and she is comfortable with the fact that she has the idea and she’s proud of her alters
They're alters. Not personalities.
as part of a system this really hits hard, it sucks being a system and it hurts so much seeing people fake this hell of a disorder
strength to all systems, you have this and I'm so proud of you -moni
My bestie is a multiple, and I'm very introverted and run out of "social energy"/spoons very quickly. Having a multiple for a friend is absolutely perfect: I socialize with several people, while expending one contact's worth of social energy.
oh so that's what spoons means!!! I am constantly running out my spoons then.
Damn, that's cool tho.. for both
@@enderwalkgang well..no - spoons is a theory about disability (this can be physical or mental). Essentially, it means you start your day with a number of spoons, and each action throughout the day uses up an amount of those. When you run out and can't physically do anything else, you don't have to feel bad about it because you can say "I used ___ spoons today! I have done what I can but now it's time for me to rest."
I had an ex who has DID. Once, when getting “thrown out of her house”, instead of packing her things and leaving she brought a blanket and a bunch of dolls into the backyard and had a tea party, talking in a baby voice the whole time. Her eyes would comepletely change.
Thanks so much for this being posted, I only recently got diagnosed with DID, about maybe 2 years ago and some days it feels like no one can ever understand me and that my life isn't worth living even though I have people in my life. Hearing someone share such a similar experience as me gives me hope and I wish the system in the video much luck with everything. Thank you, Azeal and Zenith.
some of my closest friends are DID systems and they don't deserve the shit they get online and IRL, on top of whatever trauma they've also had to experience. i love that people are gonna learn something new from this video
It's amazing how people live with this, being autistic is all kinds of different to DID and I'd honesty love to learn more about it, even if you could just pass on this message to them if it doesn't waste time "you guys are amazing and it's great you guys can live with something that's more challenging than Autism!"
hi im the person from the video and i just wanted to say thank you so much for your kind words,,,,,, im trying to read every comment and it's absolutely insane how nice people are ;-; so thank you!!
@@zenith7522 no problems, you and all your altars are madlads who deserve respect, also the transition between altars was quite slight, I felt the first was more on hand movements, it seems more lively to mewhile the second is more of a faster pace, but I'm not that sure about it though
@@zenith7522 hey did is kinda like a brain failsafe in extreme trauma and splits the mind
@@zenith7522 o.o woa coolio fun fact theirs is a brand or was apparently that made a heinekien or Heineken made a zenith tv not just that even a gamecube ninTENDO kinda like the marlboro gameboy and marlboro atari lynx
@@bsanchez3563 ... are you okay? did you stroke out..?
this helped me solidify a lot of the information I'd hear about DID from friends with it! I'm in a lot of creative writing workshops and have been writing a character with DID for a while, but was unsure on some of the information I'd get online about it. It's difficult to separate information from skeptic doctors, good doctors, real systems, and fake systems when trying to find sources. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I wish you the best!
I didn't really notice the first change, but once Spencer came forward you could immediately hear their voice deepen. I never imaged it would be so seamless that you wouldn't notice without it being pointed out, I always imagined it as very jarring. This was a really enlightening thing to watch and quite fascinating from an outside perspective. Hope things continue to improve for them in life!
this channel breathes life into me, actually providing proper information for these cases from people with proper verification.
thank you, azeal
I won't lie, it's a little hard to tell the difference when avery switches to callie, it was a lot easier to tell when callie switches to Spencer. But it's really amazing learning about stuff like this and I really enjoy finding out about this
i noticed callie's more monotone and low pitch when i thought about it
@@mah1na that and the hand gesture count goes from Italian to nothing
I take DID pretty seriously because I find it fascinating (in the most respectful way possible) that these alters are created to help protect the original (if my based knowledge is right) from traumatic experiences. To me it's like looking at a completely different person, almost as if a new soul inhabits the body. At the end of the day. My respect and sympathy for them is tremendous and I only wish their life is filled with peace and comfort
in DID there is no original, everyone is an alter
@@glixrio6359 thats because it's not like the one person just 'grows' new personalities, and it's just the 'original' splitting into different people right? /genq
I'm glad someone else sees it that way ! (As far as I know) I personally don't have DID but I have an ex-, now close friend who does and it's like, endlessly fascinating, sort of discovering a new friend every now and then, but also, I don't want to pry and be invasive ; but still, I know it sounds weird how enthusiastic I sound and I agree, these people have gone through unimaginable trauma, and I don't forget that, but I admire the resilience, and how fascinating it is to have multiple minds in one body. I suppose part of it is the unknown side? Like I have the opposite problem of feeling crushing isolation in my own mind often, so I guess part of it is the idea of always having company
I don't want to come off as disrespectful, really, I'm just curious and want to know everything about it
no, there never is an "original", if you want to learn a lot about DID I recommend watching DissociaDID's videos. - Sol
I think about as your brain pretty much fracturing. Each taking different parts of the pain to pretty much quarantine them from the main persona or perhaps egos.
I've been diagnosed in around 2020 with DID too, the way you speak about it is really just, better than anything I could say.. Stay safe!
Im glad they are able to share their stories and put themselves out there to help others understand! Y'all did an awesome job! And I'm also really glad they didn't look down on self diagnosed people, although it is important to acknowledge (as they did) that self diagnoses is one of many steps one should take when believing they may be suffering with a mental illness but it is still something that I and many others have found very helpful in communicating with therapist and actually feeling validated in the suffering that did or other illnesses have caused (BPD, depression, anxiety, etc. In my case)
I've always known and have been intrigued by DID, but now that I think about it, I never actually thought about how it would be as a system. In fact, even the concept of systems and fronting and stuff seems so interesting.
As a med student, this is very interesting, as an example of how little we know our own body, but it's unfortunate that it stems from trauma.
As someone who has been diagnosed with DID,it feels nice knowing that there are other people out there that you can relate to,and understand with.
Wonderful perspective and thank you so much for being brave enough to share and show this to us. The switches really were obvious even without the callouts.
Plot twist: DID is actually a secret society of mass role-players and it's an acronym for dungeons IN dragons (not related to the game whatsoever), they plan on taking over the world so they can reshape it to be more like dark souls.
On a serious note: this video was extremely interesting and DID itself is even more interesting. It's hard to imagine what living with 20 other people inside your head is like but she was able to shed some light on it. Massive respect.
That’s honestly a really funny joke, A+ on that
@@OmniscientWarrior A Dark Souls-esque battle against a character with a DID system? that sounds cool asf.
Nah mate they’re lizard people, so it’s dragons in dungeons
Damn it, they know too much...
@@OmniscientWarrior I mean we have a decade of martial arts training so yea kinda. However, if we ever actually had to defend ourselves we'd just bail if we could we're not stupid.
15:46 Avery switches to Callie
23:57 Callie switches to Spencer
Ok I just had to put this here because I had to rewatch the video a few more times to try and see if I can notice the changes in personality but I'm afraid I'm a REALLY bad observer xD
I think I notice the change but I might just be telling myself that. Lets just say if I ever talk to this girl in real life (or any person with DID, really) I'm gonna have a hard time discerning each alter personality. Kudos to the people I saw here comment saying that they immediately noticed the switch tho :)
PS. Pls tell me if I get the names wrong, or anything else :)
in the switches i think you can hear a change in tone of voice, callie seems more bubbly/excitable and spencer seems more monotone/deep in terms of how they speak
@@TheChronova ok so for Callie I noticed that she tends to express with her hands more and listening back again to Spencer I think I hear the difference in tone especially towards near the end
this was so comforting because their story and the way their system presents and their experiences with a therapist who figured it out before them is so similar to my own experience with DID. for so long i've felt weird and othered because my DID just doesn't present like all those famous DIDtubers and DIDtokers or whatever... but people like me and like Avery exist and it feels so warm
its really nice to get to actually hear from the perspective of someone that has this disorder. there were some things that I knew about it and the rest was a mystery. it's absolutely horrible that people do fake DID and seeing what its actually like, I wouldn't have actually known that zenith has it. people that fake it make alter switching seam like it's a super noticeable thing, but it really isn't it happens so fast and if it was not mentioned at all I wouldn't have even known! great video as always and thank you for raising awareness for DID :)
honestly amazing how you can actually notice even a small change on her (their?) form of acting, this is a very interesting disorder
i stopped to think about how i just go full auto sometimes and have those "gray memory" periods she mentions but i don't really think i have something like did
i need to search for stuff like this better lmao
but this video made me inspired enough to at least look into it
She was SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AT SCHOOL?! Sheesh! Either they were some cunning bullies that knew the ins and outs of the layout or the staff did NOTHING and was negliectful. Damn!
youre killing me
Sexual assault does not automatically imply being pined down and penetrated in the middle of a hallway, it could mean as much as having constant sexual remarks thrown at you, being touched in inappropriate places or the likes, and you'd be surprised how prevalent it is to have these things happen to you in public places like school or work.
you’d be surprised how many people are sa at school, or just anywhere. it is a sadly common occurrence
Also I'd like to point out just how NON-CHALANT they were when they mentioned that. Healthy person would be pretty upset and shaken up by that. Dissociated person? Oh yeah, shit happened. *shrug*.
@@devRat not really.. I know a lot of people that attach really bad trauma to SA but when asked they just go "yeah that happened I guess." The brain likes to downplay event to keep you alive and its quite common
I do have 2 friends on VR with DID. One has 6 personalities, the other has 11-12. They are both pretty chill. It's nice to see a video like this, because it truly shows how unique of people you can find on VRChat.
It's really cool to see someone talk about this disorder, I also have DID and it's just great representation and i'm very thankful for this video!
man i could not imagine what they went through i hear stories of bullying and harassment and it makes me wish that i was there to be able to help cause back when i was in school i was known for dealing with bullies and putting them down sometimes there ended up being a fight but alot of it was me having a big talk and educating on why bullying is bad my best memory was teaching a group of young students in middle school about why bullying is bad and all these other things now older kids were harder to deal with but these kids were pretty easy cause they were young and impressionable and after that there was little to no bullying in that class and if there was the kids spoke up and looked after each other and this story gives me that feeling of i wish i went to school with them cause i would of fought tooth and nail to stop the bullying either by educating or fighting and i was a student back then taking the role of a teacher and doing alot better then the actual teachers
My brother was ruthlessly (and I mean ruthlessly, those jerks did some horrible things to my brother) back in intermediate school. The school did nothing even when given recording and handwritten reports by my brother.
Bullying shouldn’t only be told and taught as bad, it should be drilled into education that it is repulsive and unacceptable in any degree or nature. Thank you for being one of the good ones.
Aww noiice like no cap fr yah also ngl thats coolio ykwis
i have ptsd from being bullied too. wish you went to my school all those years ago, my friend
@@mah1na :D aw noice like that pfp and yah same that actually kinda would and does seem like it would have been neat to go to same compulsory schools.
@@bsanchez3563 can you- type normally?
This story was really interesting! Her talking about alters really resonated with me. I don't think I have DID but I will looks into it.
I thank you so much for leaving the bit in where she switched. That's really important for people who've never seen jt happen before (like me)
Im glad to see such a down-to-earth conversation about this condition. We've it ourselves n didn't even think about finding a trauma therapist for... really anything of ours. Thank you for having this interview; it will greatly help lots.
VRchat is a wonderful community that allows people to open up about themselves with true anonymity, and even remain calm about how they speak with people.
and Azeal is able to use this to bring awareness and help towards these, thank you.
I'm really glad their mother has sought therapy!! I have CPTSD and DDNOS (i know the term is outdated but that's what my psychiatrist diagnosed me with) and I don't want to lose my family but they also don't have any idea how much harm they caused me. I really hope their mom and them can repair their relationship, and it gives me a bit of hope that my parents may seek help before they die lol
DDNOS is just another term for OSDD! :0 and CPTSD is a part of that!
Sometimes I rewatch this video to help understand myself better. Just having someone else explain to us how they got through it makes a world of difference.
This was super educational, they’re literally so amazing to have come so far, I can’t imagine being that strong. I watched another interview about DID and it’s really sad how common being misdiagnosed or straight up dismissed is with the medical community.
You guys seem like such cool people. Thank you for sharing this with me. I don't really know much about DID so it was great learning.
This is one of the reasons I love VRChat, you get to hear other people's stories.
This taught me so much about DID! Thank you all for making this video! ❤
Listening to this person talk about their experience has me feeling so many conflicting emotions about my own mental illnesses. Like I look back on the vague memories I have and my obsession with DID information and experiences, how there are people who act like they know me but I don't remember seeing them ever in my life, how I have this innate feeling that something is broken inside of me but none of the diagnoses I've been given seem to fit... I've wondered for years if I have DID but part of me is worried that I'm faking my symptoms. And I don't remember all of my traumas when I go to list them, nor do I feel like they were my traumas when I talk about them. And I'm tearing up as I type this and feel panicked. Maybe I'll talk to my trauma therapist about this...
Thank you for sharing. This helped a lot.
I have a friend that actually have DID so it wasn't hard for me to tell apart when the alters starter switching. For my friend when I first met them, I was scared at first knowing that they had DID since it was my first time seeing someone with that in my life and didn't wanna get names wrong but I was also curious into wanting to know more which was a interesting experience
People with DID get bullied too much
I have a friend with DID who got attacked by someone online
They were mad that some of their OC’s names were shared with my friend’s alters
They acted so immature and acted like they were targeted and attacked, sending hate messages on anonymous to them and making “callout” posts and “rules” in their bio
Just because they felt they can own certain names worldwide for some fictional characters, and treating alters as some fictional thing…
Wtf
@@kittencutie7074 yeah…
A lot of my alters are now also ocs. When i grew up i sought roleplay as a way of social closeness and make believe, but it turned out that a lot of he ocs ive had since i was young, were actually written by the alters. They arent perfect characters for me, i cant play them exactly how those alters are, but they share the same (base) look
@@sleepylayla967 Of course, that’s the case with a lot of people with DID I think, but this idiot who attacked my friend was obsessed over their own fictional OCs (which is all they were)
@@LithiumPB Ohh, sorry i misread your comment my bad!!
thank you for sharing your story, experiences and information, honestly helped me a lot because I recently found out my cousin got diagnosed with DID!. Although I knew vaguely what it was this really gave me so much more insight! Thank you so much darling, you're a gem 💖
Your more “heartbreaking” stories make me feel really, really bad, because I can’t relate to so many of these stories and makes me feel bad that people have experience’s like this. I’m glad that people share these stories though, because it means these people are comfortable enough with sharing it. Also, DiD sounds crazy to live with, multiple people in one body sounds… I can’t even comprehend the idea. Also, DIFFERENT NAMES FOR DIFFERENT ALTERS? Jeez, it’s actually different people in one body. Man, as I said, I can’t comprehend it.
Well, sort of. Alters are all fragments of a single person, they're all a part of the "host". It is fucking wild to live with, but they're not totally their own person, they're still a part of the host. Kind of like a fucked mental puzzle you're trying to piece together, but the entire puzzle, when finished, is you as a whole. Each alter is a puzzle piece of trauma, helping you accept and move on past the shit you weren't able to address and deal with when you were a child. Idk how this person feels about integration, but that's usually the goal for people with DID. Integration is when alters merge into other alters or the host, they dwindle down the number of alters until its usually just the host. It's not a end all cure all, as alters can come back from deintegration, but if it's kept in check, it shouldn't be much of an issue. Integration is a lot harder for people with a LOT of alters, like 60+. Some systems dont like the thought of integration at all, but thats usually because the stress of all of the repeated trauma would then be placed on the host and the host alone. More healing needs to happen before those people try to integrate. Hope I helped educate you a bit further, feel free to look any of this up yourself!