SouthernASMR Sounds Ramble ~ Dealing With Heartbreak
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
- I've been feeling a bit under the weather all weekend, so please forgive me. Let's ramble a bit about losing love, heartbreak, and sadness. (And yay! So close to Valentine's Day!) Here are the songs that I found to be the most helpful in dealing with all the emotions of heartbreak:
- On My Own (Michael McDaniel & Patti LaBelle) (My #1 favorite)
- I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton version)
- Unbreak My Heart (Toni Braxton)
- I'll Get By (Eddie Money)
- Everybody Hurts (R.E.M. - and the video is AWESOME!)
- Black (Pearl Jam)
- Need You Now (Lady Antebellum)
- Nothing Compares 2 U (Sinéad O'Connor)
- Apologize (Timbaland & OneRepublic)
I admire the choice you made to go back to school instead of stay with him! That's so strong and so inspiring. Always choose life!
Claire McWilliams foreal❤
Dear Mary, YOU are the first person I have known who has ever admitted to loving one person in their past so much that it affected how they love in the future. I am the same way. I fell in love so deeply in my 20's and was with my guy 6 yrs. He wanted to keep partying and I wanted family, so I had to leave him. Even with an 18 yrs marriage (divorced now) I never loved any guy the same. I truly believe my ability to love was lessened by loving that guy so deeply. Thank you for sharing with us xo
Did you go to find him again?
I just realized you look like Phoebe from Friends!
Hayley Sullivan Yes, and sometimes also like Renee Zellweger!
Hayley Sullivan I feel also like an older version of Caroline Forbes from The Vampire Diaries!
AudrSMR Relaxation YES... that’s what I thought
And a little bit like Uma Thurman. Such a pretty lady 😍
Omg i am not alone
Yes, that first love is so very, very hard. There's no words to describe how you can feel so much for someone who feels so little about us. It is these heartbreaks who make us who we are. Thanks for sharing this.
Michelle K. He actually wasn't my first love.
I’ve had one of those relationships & it ruined a lot for me going forward. I had the realization awhile back that it’s 16-20 year old me that loves 16-20 year old him. It was who we were to each other and who we were as individuals in that space of time. It would never be the same again and I would never want it to be. But it’s the young girls heart that skips a beat, grown me wouldn’t look twice at grown him. So, I will not always love him, I don’t now. But the girl I used to be always will. And that realization took him off his pedestal & he doesn’t set the bar anymore.
Beautifully said.
The only reason he said you had to "choose" is because he knew you were going back, and he wanted to end it with you anyway. And if you would've chosen him, he would've continued to use you. You truly did dodge a life much worse.
I have the same thought about a guy I dated in high school. So deeply in love. The heartbreak was so great it took about 4 years to get over him. I think about him off and on and I have no bad feelings toward him despite the breakup being horrible. We've talked over be years and everything is ok. As I get older I am thankful to have gone through that experience. I have had long relationships after that that didn't end well either. Silver living- I have now met my soul mate and someone that I can honestly say that doesn't make me think about or miss any man in my past. Life is funny.. Things you thought you could never get over- you can. People you thought you'd die if you couldn't be with- you didn't. Everything will be ok 😊
I like this a lot.
I just appreciate you as a person so much, you have so much REAL knowledge, you can understand the real feelings, I don't have many people as a twenty year old that can talk about these real feelings, my parents never went through these things or give me this advice, you feel like an auntie I never had honestly! I nearly cried at this lovely heartfelt video that connected with me, thank you so much and you need to do more of these advice videos you are so wise💕
Im going through my first heartbreak right now and im struggling. I needed this video more than ever. Thank you mary.
Me too 😢💔
@@Sarahhlynn1995 well get through it ❤️
I really needed this. It's so strange how sometimes the universe just gives you reassurance at the most perfect times from the most random places. Thank you for being so honest
I feel like in relationships like that, you miss like the feelings and idea of love rather than the person. I was in love with this person who would fight with me and make me cry all the time and I kept trying to get back together with them, but it wasn't worth it. They made me extremely happy sometimes, but that's how it is with things like that. They hurt your feelings and they make it up to you and it's a bad cycle... I don't really miss them at all. I miss being in a relationship, but I don't miss the way that they treated me.
You just described exactly what I’m currently going through lol. He would make me cry all the time while putting in zero effort towards the end of the relationship (not responding to my texts/calls for days or weeks at a time for example) and hearing/seeing me bawl my eyes out had zero effect on him. He didn’t care.. I’ll always have care in my heart for him but I’ll never understand how or why he did the things he did to me.
@@xVixenx Exact same for me. Relieving to know at least we're not alone with our pain.
I’m in the middle of this video and I’m already finding creepy similarities in my relationship and your past one. I’m 19 and I’ve been with this boy for 3 years... met when I was 16 too! This is giving me a push to end it. It’s causing more hurt then happiness. Thank you Mary, love you always and will always continue watching your vids!!!❤️
@@MBlto haven’t been with him in 2 years, i’m so happy it’s crazy. i have a great job, and a new boyfriend that gives me the WORLD. i never thought any of that would be possible with my ex but here i am. never ignore red flags and don’t be afraid to leave a relationship that isn’t working out for you! i’m happy i left because my life is so amazing right now
I am so relieved you left! 💪 Onward and upward
i am going through a sort of heartache and i’ve just been crying all night. i was trying to find something to help me fall asleep so i looked up “heartbreak asmr.” this was a very helpful video, thank you so much for it.
I love how real you are. Thankyou for your honesty and putting yourself and your story out there. It's very refreshing
This video is something I always go back to, it means so much to me and it has gotten me through many hardships.
Mary. I’m going through this right now. You just described my ex - a bum, no car, no real job, smokes too much weed. I still love him so much but he kept making me jealous, disappearing, not being there for me, pushing me away. I was feeling like an idiot for being this way but it helps to know I’m not alone. I wasn’t the only woman, either. Thank you.
You're so right. I think it's healthy to have that heartbreak at least once in your life. Mine made me open my eyes to my own behavior, what I wanted out of future relationships, & created a better standard for the future. The song that just happened to come out during that time was "Leave the Pieces" by The Wreckers. It's still hard to listen to, even a decade later. Thanks for the video! Feel better soon!
Your story is scarily relateable! Even the birthday and the profession of the guy... I've been there. I totally feel you, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. But at the same time, it gave you the experience you needed in life. Look at the positives always
Thank you for your honesty. Appreciate this very much.
I went through a bad breakup almost 2 years ago now, we'd been friends since childhood so he was a huge part of my life even before we were dating. I let myself be really sad for about a year, but after that I kind of lost patience with myself. I tried therapy, I tried every kind of anti-depressant I could get my hands on, I tried dating, nothing worked. It does make me feel so much better knowing your breakup affected you the way mine affected me and it's ok for me to still be feeling this way. Maybe I should be a little easier on myself. :)
Hugs.... That really helped in so many levels.
This video hit a very sensitive chord... I thought I had hidden my story in my head a lot better.... but no, you found it....!
I can totally relate to your experience, I went through something quite similar, but later in life. Unfortunately, my ex has just died, at a shockingly young age (he was much younger than me). I had long moved on, but it is incredible how his death stirs up things I thought I had gotten over. I feel messed up, more so than after our break-up. Strange, isn't it? But I felt so comforted by your words and your usual grown-up, reasonable self.
You sound EXACTLY like me...and my story. Uncanny!! I just broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend of two yrs, yesterday. I'm sure you can imagine the hell I've been through. Lies, multiple women, going out to bars every night by himself..etc etc. And I would worry and cry and go back and forth with my emotions. Finally I have made the decision to really say goodbye. It's hard, but I need to love myself and stop the cycle of pain. I enjoyed this video, even tho I had tears flowing, I appreciate the healing in this.
i really enjoy hearing your wisdom and really appreciate how real you are. thank you!
You remind me so much of my mother. She is my inspiration and has had a lot of qualities that you have. She is a strong independent woman for the last 23 years she has been single! You absolutely do not need a man or woman to complete your life!
I’ve been sick all week, and going through heartbreak right now, and this honestly made me feel so many emotions. I value your content so much, and value your existence so much, just thanking you for providing such amazing content to the world x
Wow another one of these would be great. This is very helpful to me 💛
this came at literally exact right moment in my life. thank you
Oh, Mary, I just want to give you a big hug! I too experienced a break up where I had to choose between my future or his selfishness. This was 10 years ago and occasionally I feel a stab of what might have been. Hope you feel better. Love you!
You're such an amazing person. I just found your vids about a week ago and I just love you as a person. I've been pretty screwed up from a break up about 3 years ago, and I think hearing you talk about this was really helpful to me. Thank you for sharing and I'm excited to see more from you.
I always love your videos but this one I could totally relate to and just hearing you talk about it was so honest, and I loved it. I still remember the way I felt after going through a heart break like that, I don't think you're ever quite the same. I did the same as you and masked my grief by partying and boys and running for such a long time until I just figured out that I was going to always carry that loss with me. It's a dynamic grief- it ebbs and flows, it changes to strength, but it never goes away.
i'm going through a heartbreak and i found this in my suggested videos and i'm so glad, perfect timing!! Mary you're a strong woman he did u a favor by making you choose, you deserved better queen!!
Thinking of you thinking of yours today. I know the lines from the video almost by heart I watched it so much during a breakup (25 year relationship). It was a bigger comfort than you'll ever know. You deserve the best of everything and I will it all in your direction. I wanted to say thanks for this video while I was in the depth, but today is a good day. Be happy and content. You give me strength to deal with my eating disorder. You're an inspirational woman, Mary! Lots of love X
I’m so glad I found this video today. I felt like you were talking directly to me. I can relate to all of it... and I really need that support right now. Heartbreak and grief are so painful.
I just want to thank you for sharing this and would love more videos like this.
i find myself coming back to this video every time i feel heavy in my heart, for some reason your voice and your words give me comfort, god bless you🤍
Thank you for making this video. You are a very strong woman. I hope you feel better!
You give the best advice ever! I loved this video...
I deeply respect your honesty and daring to be vulnerable to your viewers (meaning: completely strangers) ! Wow
I’ve been watching your videos for awhile. I never came across this one. I NEEDED it tonight! This was a huge help! ❤️❤️
You are such an amazing woman. Your brave, transparent, honest & unique. Your very special. Thank you for sharing your life & struggles with us. I’m so glad I found you on here. ****hugs to you ❤️
I really love these videos, the ramble/talk one on one it really makes me feel closer to Mary I love it
the more videos of yours I watch, the more I love and admire you. you are actually so strong for making that decision and honestly, I don't think I would have been able to do it.
Hope you feel better soon!
VirtuaMe I just woke up from a nap. I'm feeling better, thank you!
When you said
"You won't die of a ♥ break even if it feels like that, you won't."
That reminded me of a scene in a movie.
"Under The Tuscan Sun"
Diane Lane said the same thing to the teenagers who were in love & said they would die without one another &
the character of Diane Lane just got out of an ugly divorce &
she was quite bitter.
It was quite Shakespearian.
It's a chick- flick, but a pretty good one.
P. S: Good song to listen to when the ♥ is aching...
"Linger" Cranberries
The whole "Shadow Boxer" album Fiona Apple
The Soundtrack of the movie "Shopgirl"
(beautiful book & movie)
I saw the movie before I listened to the audio book.
Both are great!
I love hearing you talk. Hope you feel better. Love those glasses!
Just found this video (2019), admiring your honesty and integrity. It recalled things from my past, too, like many people mentioned in the comments. You are right - you just have to go through it, minute after long minute, and no amount of advice helps (cos you are not thinking, other parts of your brain are working). What helped - little everyday things that keep you on the track.
I’ve been watching this video to help me sleep for the past five weeks after my boyfriend dumped me. We were together for 5 years, he was my first love. I do worry that I’ll never get over him; this video is comforting and encouraging so thank you.
Mary, you most certainly are a strong lady!! I can relate to some points you have here! Hugs to you!
I hope you feel better soon. I just love ya!!
Mary....thank you, this helps so much. thank you for sharing this.
You are so amazing. Thank you for this, & for all of your videos.
I just watched this old video because I’ve just been broken up with and was looking if you had some wisdom to share. Thank you, it helped. I appreciate you and what you do a lot.
This is a script from one of my favorite shows ever, Louie. Check out the show if you want the full context of this scene. Great show.
B: So you took a chance on being happy, even though you knew that later on you would be sad.
L: Yeah.
B: And now... you're sad.
L: Yeah.
B: So... what's the problem?
L: I'm too sad.... Look, I liked the feeling of being in love with her. I liked it. But now she's gone and I miss her and it sucks. And I didn't think it was going to be this bad, and I feel like, why even be happy if it's just going to lead to this, you know? It wasn't worth it.
B: You know, misery is wasted on the miserable.
L: What?
B: You know, I'm not entirely sure what your name is, but you are a classic idiot. You think spending time with her, kissing her, having fun with her, you think that's what it was all about? That was love?
L: Yeah.
B: THIS is love. Missing her, because she's gone. Wanting to die.... You're so lucky. You're like a walking poem. Would you rather be some kind of a fantasy? Some kind of a Disney ride? Is that what you want? Don't you see? This is the good part. This is what you've been digging for all this time. Now you finally have it in your hand, this sweet nugget of love, sweet, sad love, and you want to throw it away. You've got it all wrong.
L: I thought this was the bad part.
B: No! The bad part is when you forget her, when you don't care about her, when you don't care about anything. The bad part is coming, so enjoy the heartbreak while you can, for God's sakes. Pick up the dog poop, would you please? Lucky son of a bitch. I haven't had my heart broken since Marilyn walked out on me, since I was 35 years old. What I would give to have that feeling again... You know, I'm not really sure what your name is, but you may be the single most boring person I have ever met. No offense. Give me my dog. Come here. You... Don't fall down.
Wow I kinda needed this right now
I watch all your ASMR videos and I love them .... but.. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! ❤️
You should do an ASMR "draw my life" I would DIEEEE
This video was so needed right now!
Thank you, Mary. From the bottom of my empty heartbroken heart. Thank you.. This video did help.
Mary this video speaks volumes. Your story and feelings are so similar to mine. I relate to you in this way, being in love with my high school sweetheart and never really healing from the breakup(s).
I totally needed this right now! By the Way and Without You (both by Hinder) are great break-up songs (in that order). By the Way reminds me that people don't change and Without You is the conclusive song that makes me feel good about my future!
Bless you 🙏🌹☁️ You have the most beautiful soul and are incredibly wise beyond your years… I love your videos and especially the life advice videos you so selflessly make for us. Thank you 🙏
You are so welcome!
You could be an older Caroline from vampire diaries. I love your videos so much. Feel better soon ❤
I love that you compared your glasses to bubbles! :) I can feel your pain, it choked me up a bit. I also got permanently damaged from a narcissist that I waited for while he was in prison, we were together 6 years. We met in high school as well & I was 15, I'm not sure why I felt/feel such a strong love just like you still do, because he also cheated on me. I can relate to everything you said & I wish I could give you a hug. You are so strong & wise, not to mention beautiful & funny! You seriously rock Mary, thanks for being so open & for making all of your wonderful videos.
I can relate to this so much. My first love from when I was 13 (I’m now 20 something🙄) was the only one I’ve ever felt that kind of love for. Loved your honesty and it’s good to know I’m not alone in having that one ex!
Thank you so much for this.
first off- get better!! soon!! and secondly, I feel that way about my ex husband. he ended up ruining me and my life. i regret the whole thing, but I still mourn our relationship. it never goes away. Hes always in my dreams.
Lis Sanguinan that’s what drives me mad! My ex still haunts my dreams practically every night. He was more of a fling but he haunts me to this day 😓
That's horrifying...I dream of my ex too and I hate it 😣 he also ruined my life and we have two kids together so theirs as well. 😢 I hope it gets better for you
Heart break is hard to get over. I am still recovering from a breakup that happened a year ago. I am hoping to get over this soon. Thanks for sharing
I first watched this video 5 years ago when my heart was broken. I keep coming back to it once in a while… I wonder if I’ll stop when/if I get it healed
I have been having a lot of dreams lately about my “first love” and just feel sad. I think it’s because I’m a lot older and I wonder if I should have done anything differently. But then last night I had a realistic dream and it changed my perspective. So randomly finding this video was just what I needed, thank you
I was born in 1992! Thank you for sharing your story Mary! I feel like we’re hanging out and you have a very warm loving energy about you that really comforts me in a way.
i Hope you feel better . You are such a bright light to those that are suffering, or going through it, or may go through it. I dated a much older guy, and we got engaged. Then it all came crashing down in a matter of weeks. He showed me a lot of signs, and my family & a close friend -even saw them. I SAW THEM but i loved him, I love him, still do. Great Songs I've listened to all them before. lol! And you deserve to listen to Sade- Soldier of Love.!!! This guy sounds like - my ex. WOW. It hurts like hell . I have hardly any appetite. I barely sleep, cry still and it's almost been a year. So anyway enough about me, listen to that song. Get well (hugs) I know you're under the weather. You lift me up so much!!
I don't know if you see comments on videos from this far back...BUT--I can relate to a lot of this story...we have more in common than I would have thought! I just recently discovered your channel and I am binge watching every day!
Thank you for this video.
I'm older than you (50) and you're kind of right. It's not that you loved him more, it's just that you loved him FIRST. And after you've been hurt the first time your barriers go up and you never let anyone get that close to you again. I hate that my first love made me feel like that but sadly that's the way it is 😢
66StevieT He actually wasn't my first love.
❤thank you for posting this
Grateful for this video!!!!! ❤️
can you make another video based on heartbreak advice/ comfort? i always come back to this video still to this day. i could really use something new like this lately :(
I agree PLEASE make another video like this, it’s been so helpful to me over the years,
Currently trying to leave someone toxic. I'm scared I will never love another like him. These words have been very helpful. Trying to be strong like you and leave for my own best interest.
Hi Mary, I have seen this video suggested for me in the past but tonight it became necessary. I found out that my husband cheated on me. It’s so devastating. We currently have a surrogate carrying our child and I am totally blindsided. Absolutely no red flags. I’m broken. I appreciated this video.
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that! :(
One thing I realized about love. is that you can love someone so much that you would do anything for them but here is the thing, that is your feelings. not theirs you can't make someone love you no matter how much you love them. your feelings are yours and you have to deal with them . it is hard but if you need help you need help, your right about that. I hope you find the true love of your life, the kind of love that is not one sided and the kind that you both feel quivers you the think of each other. Where love is a joy and makes your life thrive, not feel like a chore. Think it can't happen, it can, i understand just how you were feeling. then my life changed and we just had our 26 anniversary. So I know first hand it can happen.
Who else heard “fever” and jumped to the video date.
thank you so much for this video. i needed to hear that
I was broken up about someone and am still to this day but it's not over him anymore, I am heartbroken over the loss of his family, extended family and our mutual friends. It's been 5 years and I'm still heartbroken about losing all of those relationships because of his choice to cheat. So many people ripped out of my life in the blink of an eye. Love your videos ❤️ can't wait for the video you just described 😂
Just rewatching some of your older uploads and came upon this. My 1st real love's birthday is June 27th, I have loved him for almost 40 years, totally get this
Thank you for this. I'm a little older than you and I'm still affected by a breakup over 12 years ago. Similar type of breakup too in regards to the surreal way it went down. Sometimes I wale up from nightmares where he's leaving me again. It passes me off that he's still having an affect on me but he was my best friend too. I haven't loved the same since.
Few years ago. I was in a relationship. This guy was everything, everything to me. I woulda done anything for him. I was so blinded over how much I loved the guy, I didn't believe anyone who known him for years. People tried telling me he was playing around while with me, Heck, I didnt wanna believe it. Weeks later, I found out that what everyone was telling me was infact true. He was playing around while with me. I broke it off. As destroyed as I was. I broke it off. I was destroyed on the inside afterwards. I didnt get with anyone else for 2 years. But. Then. After the 2 years. I Started talking to a friend. Later on in that year. That friend and I fell inlove, a year later we got married, and we just had our 1st child together 2 weeks ago. Now, that I look back. Im GLAD I broke it off with the other guy. I realize how naive I was. But everyone learns. And Im happy now. Breakups, divorces...all you need is time, to be able to rise to the surface again. Time heals all wounds. :)
I know exactly what you mean by saying it hurts physically, great video
I was hoping you had a video on this.. Going through this today. Thanks
Wow, it's funny how things happen, I initially intended to click on one of your different vids and this clicked on instead. Recently been thinking about an ex-partner, more so than usual. 6+ years with this person and my god i loved this person with such intensity and til this day my heart beats differently when I think of this person but listening to your story and some similarities I feel like we parted ways for the best and what I'm feeling is okay and that I will be okay. Thank you, Mary for being so honest and so real. ❤
wasn't he a narcissist? they have a tendency to make people crazy for years.. decades :(
My thoughts exactly. My ex narcissist still affects my life years later. I know now that it has nothing to do with how much I loved him. It's all about the toxicity of the whole relationship. It was intense and horrible.
i could relate to this story so powerfully! thanks for sharing, fellow carolina girl.
good point about breakup being a grieving process. it took me about a year just to feel normal after my divorce. you just have to face the fact that this is the 'new normal,' and you finally accept it and move on.
i learned to fill my time with hobbies and other things to take my mind off of it, which worked well for me.
i’m here now. i ended something with somebody amazing simply because it just doesn’t feel right for me and my soul right now. it’s hard because he didn’t even do anything wrong, you know? he’s amazing and he deserves the most beautiful life. i’ll miss him and love him forever. maybe we will make our way back together someday when i feel best with myself. thank you for this though. heartbreak does make you feel like you’re dying. i can’t eat, i barely sleep, and i feel either too much or nothing at all. praying for better days.
I don’t know if this was coincidence or meant to be, but my boyfriend of 3 years and fiancé of 3 months just called things off with me yesterday (February 5, which is my birthday). I have been a complete mess since yesterday and I’ve been searching for something to make me feel at least a little bit of hope for the future. I truly believe God led me right to this video. Thank you so much. ❤️
He was my rock, my best friend, and I thought my soulmate. And I know that I will never love anyone the way I loved him.
Thank you for posting this. Really hitting home for me right now as I'm pretty sure my marriage is just about over. I think we're both just tired of fighting for something that isn't there anymore. Meh.
I know I’m late, 4 years later, but I saw this video In my recommendation and I couldn’t skip it cause I’ve also been so in love with a guy that messed me up, and I know I’ll always be damaged even though I kinda moved on (took me years). But I will always have this question in my mind : why do we love so badly people that are trash with us ? Why can’t we love that much people that are actually good for us ?
Guess life hurts 🤷♀️
I’m really glad you made this video. I’m just seeing it now because I recently became a follower of yours and this popped up in my feed… You are so right. And let me say that you dodged a bullet and I’m sure you already know that. God was definitely watching out for you there. And I have been there as well but there were actually two relationships that made me feel this way. My high school sweetheart, who was ripped away from me by his “well-meaning“ father. I have never gotten over that. The second one, was a man that I thought I was going to marry and I had the rug completely ripped out from under me and it took me years to get over it. And frankly he will be always be the one that got away. And I am happily married and on our seventh year of marriage but he will always be the one that got away. Thank you for making this video.
I know you will always love him. Even though he was so dodgy. You dodged that bullet. But, I understand the type of pain you experienced.
Mary, you have wonderful music choices.
I'm sorry he was so bad like kicking doors, when you were studying. Xxxx love from England.
Hi Mary, I honestly appreciate you sharing a very personal and painful experience in your life. I think that the pain of him easily being able to let you walk out that door and out of his life haunts you. When you thought he would stop you or have a change of heart. From what I gathered of what I heard. He seemed to have known you through and through who, in a positive way showed you to live your life to the fullest. You had to mourn the ending of a relationship and friendship all at once. It breaks my heart to hear you in a way still mourn the loss of having him in your life. I do admire your strong will to move on and achieve your goals. My mom didn't dodge the bullet she married the bullet and I had to see the hell she went through my father is the worst but, my mom says the only good thing out of her hellish experience was her kids. She is much happier and content being single as she too was married 3 times. Only God knows what will happen in the future but, for now it's awesome you are focused what's important your kids and yourself. God bless you and I send you a huge hug!
I agree. You never get over your first love. I didn't. I'm happily married and I'm besotted with my wife but your first love is so pure and innocent you have nothing to compare it to. But it made me stronger and who I am. Thankyou for sharing 👍
Oh Girl....Don't you know the drummer was always the "bad boy". I was in love with a drummer too!!
Jillane Hogard I dated/ hooked up with 3-4 drummers in high school... it just always happened that way!
Jillane Hogard OMG. 2 drummers here and YES! bad boys! lol
all the loves of your life, there's always that one that stays with you, even if you never see them again