Why comfort will ruin your life | Bill Eckstrom | TEDxUniversityofNevada

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  • čas přidán 14. 05. 2024
  • After documenting and researching over 50,000 coaching interactions in the workplace, Bill Eckstrom shares life-altering, personal and professional development ideas through the introduction of the “Growth Rings.” The rings illustrate how dangerous it can be to remain in a state of comfort and how being in discomfort is the only way to sustain growth. You’ll be amazed at the world-changing outcomes discomfort can have on your life and the lives of others.
    Bill Eckstrom is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, outdoorsman and father of three. With a passion deeply rooted in growth and development, Bill has always been fascinated by the role a coach has on the performance of individuals and teams. As a result, he founded the EcSell Institute whose sole focus is to educate, track and measure coaching effectiveness for leaders within organizations around the world. This has led to hundreds of keynotes, published articles and e-books created from the research and documentation of coaching interactions and outcomes. You can learn more about the EcSell Institute here: www.ecsellinstitute.com/
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 2,4K

  • @fabiorachid3430
    @fabiorachid3430 Před 3 lety +2838

    I think there's a missing ingredient there: *purpose* . If you're just randomly making yourself uncomfortable, sure, you might grow, but you're likely to give up or go back to a deeper state of order/comfort than you were before. But getting yourself into discomfort *because* of something that actually matters to you, than you'll push through it. In Nietzsche's words, "He who was a why can bear almost any how".
    Think of soldiers facing probably death going to battle because they have the high purpose of defending their country, their family and friends. Does most doctors in the middle of the pandemic are out there in total discomfort just because it may bring them growth? No, they are doing it *to save lives* , the highest person a human being can have. Such high purpose is the only way for them to go risk their lives every day to take care of their patients.
    My biggest problem with TEDs like these is that they often leave out the details, the nuisance, the complexity of life and of human beings. The TED almost makes it sound like you should be throwing yourself into discomfort at all times, regardless of what, and that it's not too bad if you have breakdowns like his daughter, but it is bad. Growth and discomfort, specially if stimulated by other people, *must be made in a relationship with trust*, otherwise the person might feel bullied and even give up (chaos).
    Also: you don't have to be in discomfort all the time and in all ranges of your life. It's ok to feel comfortable and safe in some, and it's ok if you are so discomfortable that you had to take a step back, feel comfortable so you can try again. We are each complex and deep so there's no formula and equation that will fit everyone. 5 rings can't even begin to describe everything involved in growth.
    Put a certain amount of pressure on coal and it will make a diamond, but put too much pressure on the structure of a building and it will fall down. Life is just like that - there is no ready formula for it, each situation and individual require a different, perhaps unique approach.
    That's why it's hard for me to get into self-help: 99% of the time it lacks or purposely hides the complexity involved in life and in human beings. And I know TED talks aren't meant to last an hour but hey the lecturers could explicitly show that the subject has way more levels and degrees than what is being shown.

    • @tripnotico
      @tripnotico Před 3 lety +128

      Couldn't agree more with you! Thanx for sharing your thoughts

    • @applepeel1662
      @applepeel1662 Před 3 lety +83

      My main problem with traditional self help systems is that it always feels a little pretentious. At least I feel like that

    • @alfredogoudet1162
      @alfredogoudet1162 Před 3 lety +55

      Absolutely. One piece of wisdom might give you a new view of things, but true change comes when one embraces the full journey of his/her life (which in and by itself is complex) and implements as much insights and strategies as possible; also through digging really deep into oneself. At least, and hopefully, what you learn in talks like these will help you understand your life faster than you would yourself, but in the end, the COMPLEX journey of life is yours to take, and some answers only you will be able to find.

    • @fabiorachid3430
      @fabiorachid3430 Před 3 lety +1

      @@w4rooster514 Thank you for the suggestion, I'll check out the book and podcast!

    • @w4rooster514
      @w4rooster514 Před 3 lety +3

      @@fabiorachid3430 cool! If you remember this thread, come back and tell me what you think about it! It’s changed my life!

  • @fearlessandfar
    @fearlessandfar Před 6 lety +1807

    Hit the gym hard, eat the chili sauce, say hi to new people, and as Michael said, take cold shower. You can find discomfort in everyday. Powering through it changes your life. Great talk Bill Eckstrom. I'll watch this again!

    • @mism847
      @mism847 Před 3 lety +34

      Will this really make you happier, or is this simply just suffering and pain disguised as happiness?

    • @applesauce_0743
      @applesauce_0743 Před 3 lety +69

      @@mism847 the ability to push through the temporary pain teaches us more about ourselves than we could ever know from sitting in our proverbial easy chairs all our lives.

    • @bradyfrazee4316
      @bradyfrazee4316 Před 3 lety +42

      @@mism847 Life is about how much pain one can endure. It can make you happy though. Going to the gym isn't comfortable but being healthy and looking good feels amazing.

    • @jojo-fj7lw
      @jojo-fj7lw Před 3 lety +7

      Uhm sir, chili sauce is my guilty pleasure smh

    • @mcbueno9602
      @mcbueno9602 Před 3 lety +1

      Jii

  • @graysonskweres6021
    @graysonskweres6021 Před 5 lety +753

    My favorite quote ever is from a book called The Prophet. "The lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, then walks grinning in the funeral."

  • @navrajvir
    @navrajvir Před 3 lety +502

    I've built this new habit of reading comments after watching every video on CZcams because I get amazed by the creativity and humour people around the globe pour into these comments.

    • @evavranici7645
      @evavranici7645 Před 3 lety +12

      The best part of videos are its comments' gems haha

    • @navrajvir
      @navrajvir Před 3 lety +2

      @@evavranici7645 true

    • @praneshepicmindsets
      @praneshepicmindsets Před 3 lety +15

      It was engineered to become a habit for us all. It was supposed to be addictive not only scrolling through videos but also scrolling through the comments.
      Stop spending more time on comments. I know our mind is curious and it wants others perspective and want to share its own view. But this is what is being utilised for us to hooked to this app longer.
      We need to be more mindful than ever. Good day.

    • @dad4378
      @dad4378 Před 3 lety +2

      @@praneshepicmindsets thank you.

    • @dad4378
      @dad4378 Před 3 lety

      @@praneshepicmindsets sir are you Indian?

  • @ImGoingSupersonic
    @ImGoingSupersonic Před 4 lety +241

    Need cloudy days to appreciate the sunshine.

  • @doubleplusgoodful
    @doubleplusgoodful Před 7 lety +1099

    "The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness."
    - Josef Ratzinger

  • @daveclow74
    @daveclow74 Před 4 lety +493

    I quit my safe job of 11 years, 1 week after getting the keys to our new house and whilst my wife was 5 months pregnant. That was uncomfortable, I questioned my own sanity many times. I left the safety zone to start my own business and it was the best thing I've ever done, a pivatol point in our lives. Ask yourself how safe your 'safe job' is when your boss can end it all tomorrow....

    • @daveclow74
      @daveclow74 Před 4 lety +9

      @The Keene Team thanks very much, I hope things go well for you too. It's great to have support at home, the unsung heroes.
      I don't think you'll regret the decision to carry on with your business. The rewards will be far greater. It's only the beginning for you, too!

    • @daveclow74
      @daveclow74 Před 4 lety +8

      @@alessandroraso4951 bicycles!

    • @jeanlandais4516
      @jeanlandais4516 Před 4 lety +7

      I feel like I needed to hear this too, thank you

    • @unknown31203
      @unknown31203 Před 3 lety +4

      I need this at this moment

    • @krutikatti7933
      @krutikatti7933 Před 3 lety +3

      I really needed to hear this today, thank you!

  • @voynich7119
    @voynich7119 Před 3 lety +51

    Lately I have been feeling like the "comfortable life", meaning sitting at home playing video games, watching CZcams, eating whatever I feel like at the moment, etc. has made me actually sad. I hate it. I hate standing still. It's the absolute worst. I need need noise, I need unpredictability, I need stuff happening. I need to just yeet myself out of my confort zone to be actually comfortable in my life.

    • @mya632
      @mya632 Před 2 lety +2

      I agree with you. I love spontaneity. I hate routines because knowing what I'm going to be doing on a day to day basis is so boring. I too have been sitting at home watching TV and eating a lot of food, yet I'm unmotivated. The sitting has taken a toll on me not just physically, but mentally.

    • @aytakgh5634
      @aytakgh5634 Před 2 lety

      Same 👌

    • @timsheen1158
      @timsheen1158 Před 2 lety

      It takes a lot of courage, but I feel the same

    • @emad5406
      @emad5406 Před 2 lety +2

      "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"

    • @faustin289
      @faustin289 Před 2 lety +1

      You'll never feel comfortable sitting at home watching tv if you know the landlord will knock at the door and evict you anytime

  • @armartin0003
    @armartin0003 Před 7 lety +2683

    You need order and disorder. Comfort and discomfort. Too much of either is a bad thing.

    • @dialymail8513
      @dialymail8513 Před 6 lety +102

      Adam Martin
      Yep completely agree with that, BALANCE between both is th key

    • @jul9cuz
      @jul9cuz Před 6 lety +29

      So a well managed balanced life? Sounds like sage advice.

    • @NetSkillNavigator
      @NetSkillNavigator Před 6 lety +53

      u need to undergo discomfort for u to achieve comfortable lyf..

    • @Sofie424
      @Sofie424 Před 6 lety +17

      Good point, Mary. Also, some comfortable things lead to discomfort. We need to consider both the current and future effects of our actions.

    • @koranamudrovcic6603
      @koranamudrovcic6603 Před 5 lety +11

      From what this video says, you need 3/4 of discomfort. That's the point.

  • @c-fin
    @c-fin Před 7 lety +1090

    Wow. This really set things straight for me. We can only reach our full potential by engaging in discomfort. I'm 18 and this is what I needed to hear before entering the world as an adult.

    • @top1percent424
      @top1percent424 Před 7 lety +46

      Connor Finerty It's not easy. There will be times when you'll want to quit and get back to being _comfortable_. Don't quit. I'm 21 and I've only known this for may be 1 year or so.

    • @cuscof2
      @cuscof2 Před 7 lety +65

      You're young enough to take some big risks, and haven't yet accumulated enough stuff/social standing/emotional attachments/etc. to make it really difficult to step out of line. After high school I left the town where I grew up, worked as a theatre techie for a couple of years, lived with a bunch of hippies, hitchhiked across the country, and went to Peru. I had essentially no money, working mostly for minimum wage and sharing space with other people, and had an incredible time. I can't recommend this strongly enough; **GO HAVE ADVENTURES!!**
      The people who I knew that stayed in that northern Michigan town and did the safe thing? They're boring, stifled, unimaginative and unable to adapt to change. What you do now will make a difference in how you live the entire rest of your life, don't miss the chance!

    • @c-fin
      @c-fin Před 7 lety +4

      Thanks for the replies.

    • @sineadtbc3338
      @sineadtbc3338 Před 7 lety +6

      +Connor Finerty Look up but look around you too

    • @danpt2000
      @danpt2000 Před 7 lety +11

      Haah!! I graduated college in May 2001. I always knew life was tough. What kept me going was the desire to be financially independent. Yes, I wanted money. now that I have it, its like... ehhh... if I lose it, won't be all that big deal, can still make more.

  • @ethanbrunt7755
    @ethanbrunt7755 Před rokem +8

    The greatest explanation of this quote: “get comfortable being uncomfortable”

  • @ZaWrldo
    @ZaWrldo Před 3 lety +30

    One of my favorite CZcamsrs tweeted this and it hit me. "There is no comfort in growth and there is no growth in comfort"

  • @unit56productions
    @unit56productions Před 7 lety +2944

    Super Short Version: No pain, no gain.

    • @intelligenceislikecommonse6263
      @intelligenceislikecommonse6263 Před 6 lety +63

      wildpartypeople everybody wants sunshine no body wants rain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain

    • @praketak47
      @praketak47 Před 6 lety +29

      not super short version, super short biased version. Pain is pain.I think Discomfort is a lighter word. Discomfort is painfull for "many" people, it can contain a situation in which a person can attain understanding nature towards something, etc.
      Its ok man, no hard feelings but u took a "comfort" way of saying things. Discomfort is better word then pain. Period. If u want to give a better word, u r welcome. I wish u had discomforted urself atleast in the video that talks about discomfort.
      If what i said is wrong, correct me atleast in this video. I welcome it.

    • @hybby
      @hybby Před 5 lety +8

      wildpartypeople thanks for saving me 12 and a half minutes

    • @steve5123456789
      @steve5123456789 Před 5 lety +3

      Or chronic stress.

    • @theultimatereductionist7592
      @theultimatereductionist7592 Před 5 lety +2

      Then you have no business ridiculing ANYONE for being violent (so-called "criminals", "terrorists", protestors).
      Infinite hypocrisy lecturing to somebody that they should put up with physical pain, discomfort, violence but then ridiculing protesters who justified in violently overthrowing unjust governments.

  • @mike4ty4
    @mike4ty4 Před 7 lety +390

    Discomfort vs comfort -- the real trick is not so much which one as how you _react_ to them. Discomfort can either be reacted to as a motivator, or you can become fearful and withdraw into depression, timidity, or neuroticism. Comfort can either be reacted to with complacency, or you can take charge of the happiness it provides to be productive with a clear head and peace.

    • @arafatrasool83
      @arafatrasool83 Před 7 lety +21

      mike4ty4 wow , that so true, comfort need not necessarily be bad

    • @TheIllusionguy
      @TheIllusionguy Před 6 lety +8

      Its a true test if you can battle out the depression, and the hurricanes that set to ruin your life. Then you emerge as a strong individual, who has survived a storm, just how a sunny day and clear sky awaits you after a hurricane. That is comfort earned through discomfort, and its a cycle.

    • @k.rlevine2051
      @k.rlevine2051 Před 5 lety +7

      Exactly, the point is missed when "people" think he is advocating "discomfort": He is advocating reaching your full potential in life by changing and growing...

    • @jstnhnh
      @jstnhnh Před 5 lety

      Agree 100%

    • @LILHOMIECOOLKID
      @LILHOMIECOOLKID Před 4 lety

      Well said

  • @SystematicImbaPh
    @SystematicImbaPh Před 3 lety +24

    Watching this during my break while I'm about to get fired. Feels good!!!

  • @spacegirl7290
    @spacegirl7290 Před 3 lety +15

    His speech makes me to read more because when you read , you're actually challenging your comfortable mindset and that will certainly lead you to grow

    • @MajorPayne175
      @MajorPayne175 Před 3 lety

      It's amazing how reading will open your mind to new ideas. They just come to you.

  • @CassandraBankson
    @CassandraBankson Před 7 lety +429

    The most uncomfortable thing I've ever done, was take off my makeup and post the video on the internet, baring my acne to the world. It could ruin my career as a model. It stripped away a shield of image and my safety. It made me feel emotionally naked. And it was the catalyst to loving myself without makeup, and spreading the message of inner and outer beauty on my CZcams channel today. Being uncomfortable was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

    • @bhataktiatma1080
      @bhataktiatma1080 Před 3 lety +6

      I that acne video was so inspiring. I came to know about you after that video went viral

    • @stevenrix7277
      @stevenrix7277 Před 3 lety +5

      oh yes I remember that video

    • @whateverthefuckiwant4289
      @whateverthefuckiwant4289 Před 3 lety +5

      Late, i know, but i just need to add that as a plus you helped thousands of people ❤ Your toughness paid off in every way and I salute you for having the guts

    • @craigjames8026
      @craigjames8026 Před 2 lety

      Guys have to go through life without makeup and then prepare for losing their hair in later life. You've got it easy...

    • @breght9881
      @breght9881 Před 2 lety +1

      I subscribed to your channel...I don't regret it!

  • @AS-lu7gm
    @AS-lu7gm Před 7 lety +2410

    i'm watching this video while comfortably laying in bed and eating some chips

  • @donaldwilson3579
    @donaldwilson3579 Před 5 lety +886

    Well thank God I was born with General Anxiety Disorder & hypochondria. Haven't been comfortable once in 23 years ...

  • @familyontheway3300
    @familyontheway3300 Před 3 lety +10

    Whom so ever watching this video, I wish you health, wealth and lot of happiness to you from the bottom of my heart.

  • @KalpeshMange92
    @KalpeshMange92 Před 7 lety +262

    Applauded alone in my room to this. THIS is what we need. Growth.

    • @Ecsellinstitute
      @Ecsellinstitute Před 7 lety

      I’m glad you enjoyed Bill’s TEDx Talk. Many have shared their #OutOfOrder stories in this Facebook Group. You can join here: (facebook.com/groups/TEDOutOfOrder/)

    • @mikebee6633
      @mikebee6633 Před 7 lety

      I did the same as well :)

    • @jonathancarlospina1838
      @jonathancarlospina1838 Před 7 lety

      same here

    • @evaalordiahmusic
      @evaalordiahmusic Před 7 lety +2

      I cried and applauding as i type this. no when im done typing

    • @aalnouk
      @aalnouk Před 4 lety

      OH GOD, I DID THE SAME!

  • @Da1RiSiN1sMoKe
    @Da1RiSiN1sMoKe Před 7 lety +351

    This is why I hate living in a small town. Everyone and everybody is bent on routines, taking the safe route, and driving in the slow lane. Any sort of attempt to take risks or to work hard to achieve your dreams a bit faster is viewed as cutting corners and being reckless. It's not the environment for someone that wants to better themselves. It's like Office Space for blue collar workers. You can make a decent living, but it's a dense and small fish bowl.

    • @dbsk06
      @dbsk06 Před 7 lety +11

      Jakub Rosman you should get out then. Go to college out of stars

    • @dbsk06
      @dbsk06 Před 7 lety +3

      State

    • @josyangelyislanda118
      @josyangelyislanda118 Před 6 lety +68

      There's nothing wrong with that... People have different ways of being happy, not everyone one wants to be the wolf of wall street

    • @joshuaallen8982
      @joshuaallen8982 Před 6 lety +78

      @Jakub I understand your mentality. I escaped my small town to live in one of the most populated states. I can tell you personally these people are cut throat and miserable. The ones who aren't are business psychopaths and feel nothing at all. No body trusts or helps one another. The opportunities are plenty here. I have had amazing experiences and my eyes have been opened up to a new world. But I also realized it's foolish to think the grass is greener. I would like to find a place that is somewhere between small town and urban living. Because both have their pluses. Life is about finding out what truly makes you happy. What makes this hard is comparison. Comparison to who we think we should be. Comparison to who the world thinks we should be. Comparison of ourselves to other people. Find out what brings you happiness.

    • @jul9cuz
      @jul9cuz Před 6 lety +1

      You just described humanity in general. Keep dancing Jakub.

  • @chillo5687
    @chillo5687 Před 4 lety +171

    The thing most “hustlers” don’t realize is that you don’t have to be working 24/7. If you did you would be the most uninteresting and boring person to be around since you’re constantly working.
    You have to have time to RELAX. And that’s OK. We’re all human and taking an hour to relax isn’t going to kill your chances for success, only mad people think otherwise.

    • @slifer4912
      @slifer4912 Před 4 lety +6

      That's not what people came to hear.

    • @azizhamid6480
      @azizhamid6480 Před 4 lety +7

      That's a defeatist mindset. You want to relax, relax. But dont complain about successful people then.

    • @Hari-bz1mh
      @Hari-bz1mh Před 4 lety +25

      @@azizhamid6480 No that's not a defeatist mindset. Learning comes from all forms. If my idea of working an hour less and using that to relax is to hear some new classical music, I'm learning. Successful people do relax, the difference between them and you is they know how to manage time better.

    • @TheMusicLauncher
      @TheMusicLauncher Před 4 lety +11

      @@azizhamid6480 your favorit football stars do breaks, your president is doing breaks etc. But breaks do mean that you did work before!!

    • @saksham9170
      @saksham9170 Před 3 lety +5

      Lol relaxation is so important it's funny why people don't realise that

  • @PhoenixCrown
    @PhoenixCrown Před 5 lety +137

    Thanks Bill! Discomfort was forced on me when I was pushed out of my first job after 2 years. After 3 more jobs, I also realized I'm a bad employee... so I triggered discomfort myself and started my own accounting firm. Now, I help small businesses with their bookkeeping and financial advising and am much happier (though maybe not more comfortable)!

    • @anuragjain464
      @anuragjain464 Před 2 lety +1

      Hello phoenix, i am an CPA pursuing student, if you have any virtual internship please let me know.

    • @oniichan7520
      @oniichan7520 Před rokem

      yoww can you help me with your bookkeeping ? i wanted to learn

    • @mehmet.albyrk
      @mehmet.albyrk Před rokem

      Thanks for sharing your story of getting out of comfort zone.

  • @dt28469
    @dt28469 Před 7 lety +40

    getting out of my confort zone has become a mantra for me! life changing desicion.

  • @thattannerguy856
    @thattannerguy856 Před 4 lety +158

    Discomfort: lifting weights
    Growth: bigger muscles

    • @mitch7094
      @mitch7094 Před 4 lety +42

      Discomfort: gets cancer
      Growth: tumor

    • @fallenhero1338
      @fallenhero1338 Před 4 lety +4

      Mitch Conner This made me laugh out loud.

    • @user-qf6uu8kr4w
      @user-qf6uu8kr4w Před 4 lety +5

      no pain no gain, as the -coach- doctor says

    • @charles4372
      @charles4372 Před 3 lety +1

      Lifting weights is easy try calisthenics :)

    • @VergilPeterson
      @VergilPeterson Před 2 lety

      @@user-qf6uu8kr4w I hope that was a reference to Greg Doucette lol

  • @echidnuttt9326
    @echidnuttt9326 Před 3 lety +85

    I'm really amazed by how people assume that all We want is success, money, etc. Some people would rather go fishing on a Sunday than have meetings.

    • @DP-yw4vk
      @DP-yw4vk Před 3 lety +33

      His advice doesnt necessarily only apply to careers. You can choose to apply it to whatever aspects of your life. Want to ask out that girl? Youve got to face the discomfort of making the first move and confront fear of rejection. You want better physical health? Youve got to face the discomfort of your muscles burning when exercising. Want to learn a language? Youve got to face the discomfort of speaking it out loud. We must all take the time to fish or enjoy a sunday roast, but if thats all A person did in life... boy what an uneventful story that would be

    • @bunsenn5064
      @bunsenn5064 Před 2 lety +2

      @@DP-yw4vk But then again, some people don’t want eventful lives, so…

    • @user-gb7sp2ic4q
      @user-gb7sp2ic4q Před 2 lety

      @@DP-yw4vk Согласен с Вами

  • @aidenpethick6871
    @aidenpethick6871 Před 4 lety +99

    *“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”*

    • @ninijohannaq
      @ninijohannaq Před 2 lety +2

      If you are happy with your life why should you change it?

    • @jamemule5326
      @jamemule5326 Před 4 měsíci +1

      ​@@ninijohannaqi don't know

  • @mabururozu5954
    @mabururozu5954 Před 3 lety +7

    This man knows how to make a simple topic sound extremely complex.

  • @Mmvexxx
    @Mmvexxx Před 2 lety +5

    ive been pushed to my discomfort zone. my dad was diagnosed with ALS about 6 months ago. my gf walked out on my two months after. my life is in chaos at the moment trying to pull it together. but it has had its silver lining. ive become stronger in my faith and it has really center my priorities again. im trying to enjoy the time i have left with my father and also at the same time see where i can bring the most value to people with the gift God has given me

  • @Machin33lf
    @Machin33lf Před 4 lety +645

    “Comfort will ruin ur life”
    Mattress company’s: -_-

  • @ivaroaddogsitting6610
    @ivaroaddogsitting6610 Před 2 lety +16

    I have been watching TED talks for a while. This is the best one I've seen so far. If all TED talks were half as good as this one, I would stop going to college and study TED talks all day

  • @D-J-Q
    @D-J-Q Před 6 lety +21

    This is what I understand about my experience and I think I can relate to this:
    Being in your comfort zone is not guaranteed security. Going out of it once in a while can give you potential for success.

  • @davidwalmsley5941
    @davidwalmsley5941 Před 7 lety +18

    This is essentially Nietzsche: " That which does not kill us makes us stronger"

  • @christiehobbs3827
    @christiehobbs3827 Před 5 lety +11

    When I stepped out of my comfort zone, I found what I wanted in life and since have created a good life that I am able to share with others and help people to do the same "Blessed"

  • @mojogroddomyzogrodamipodwa7897

    Leaving the comfort zone, that's my target from now on! Thank you

  • @Nadd108
    @Nadd108 Před 6 lety +402

    This is the missing piece of the puzzle, it is so simplistic but ignored mostly by the parents. Just amazing talk. Thanks

    • @christophercarr5865
      @christophercarr5865 Před 6 lety +5

      There's no sense of "simplistic" that's positive. If something is simplistic it lacks something -- it's inadequate in some way because it's _too_ simple.
      "Simplistic" *doesn't* mean _pleasantly simple_ or something like that.

    • @clevername8832
      @clevername8832 Před 5 lety +1

      The piece to which puzzle?

    • @plusfour1
      @plusfour1 Před 5 lety +1

      What's that? Don't intervene, let them figure it out for themselves? Hard to do, pretty damn effective in my experience. My kids were babies until 2 yrs. Honestly, I didn't plan it that way, I just thought that my job as a parent was to teach them to be independent individuals by age 18

  • @brant7173
    @brant7173 Před 7 lety +221

    Without fear of death, nothing is complex. When you have nothing to lose, chaos becomes order.

    • @arun.m0007
      @arun.m0007 Před 7 lety

      Brant awesome man that is so true

    • @brant7173
      @brant7173 Před 7 lety +7

      MorTobXD people only try to predict the future out of self defense. Without fear of death, there's no need to predict the future, thus everything that happens in the future is all very much in the realm of expectation from the perspective of he who fears not.

    • @FocusMrbjarke
      @FocusMrbjarke Před 7 lety +7

      If you don't fear anything you probably can't grow much

    • @ragnarlothbrok3849
      @ragnarlothbrok3849 Před 6 lety +2

      +Brant chaos isn't a pit, chaos is a ladder... :D

    • @djasks2950
      @djasks2950 Před 6 lety

      Brant that seems like one of the worse orders. What if someone damaged their muscles every time they worked out? Theyre trying to grow the muscle but end up stunting it.

  • @nobody9621
    @nobody9621 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Listening to ted-talks is like having a real friend that is willing to share his/ her stories to us, whenever we feel down

  • @domosjourney7545
    @domosjourney7545 Před 4 lety +10

    Needed this today. So grateful and thankful for Ms. Cloven' s mention!

  • @haotang2638
    @haotang2638 Před 3 lety +8

    I can’t believe that being fired is the most discomfort he ever experienced- what a privilege

    • @scottrulez7916
      @scottrulez7916 Před 3 lety +2

      Yes, people have had it worse but that doesn't diminish his own experience as less valid than theirs. If that's what you're implying. Discomfort is universal and shouldn't be gatekept.

  • @tobybromfield3664
    @tobybromfield3664 Před 7 lety +5

    This is sooooo true! Like with learning a language, if you just do the things you can do you don't improve, but in reading difficult books, in going to new places, talking about new topics, doing new things, you have to adapt so you learn so much more. Like at the gym, if you do the same weights over 6 months you won't make much progress, but if you change it up, shock the muscles etc you have to adapt and so improve. It can be placed in so many situations.

  • @TommyFamous
    @TommyFamous Před 5 lety +12

    Yes! 🙌🏼 It’s in our discomfort we find our true comfort through personal growth and evolution! If we all just stayed “within the lines of order,” we’d wither away into nothingness!

  • @OEMM71
    @OEMM71 Před 3 lety +4

    I love TedxTalks in general, but this is the first one that made me write down many things for immediate introspection. Thank you very much for sharing your life experience. You bring hope and example that with determination, discipline, and faith, many awesome things are possible, no matter the time.

  • @zainhummamy4272
    @zainhummamy4272 Před rokem +4

    Incredible talk

  • @ArcaneThingOfBeauty
    @ArcaneThingOfBeauty Před 2 lety +12

    Well said! In retrospect, for me the times where my life progressed were during the most stressful and uncomfortable times of my life. 😮‍💨

  • @Kshesho
    @Kshesho Před 5 lety +2

    I clicked on this video because the title made SO much sense to me. Comfort kept me from overcoming my Social Anxiety Disorder, living independent, and just being happy in life in general. Often times I now hear the phrase, "lean into discomfort." Probably the most difficult to face, but meaningful and powerful advice I've gotten.

  • @LessonsInLife
    @LessonsInLife Před 5 lety +91

    You will become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Then you will stop fearing discomfort and you will open yourself up to some positive changes in your life. ;)

  • @oscarmoxon102
    @oscarmoxon102 Před 3 lety +10

    This is in my top 10 TED talks of all time. I understand everything he's on about.

  • @suhaspathak6319
    @suhaspathak6319 Před 6 lety +10

    Great speech, I know that comfort will destroy years and years in life. I was experienced it.

  • @elvirammdva
    @elvirammdva Před rokem +1

    I totally agree with the title of this video. If you want to succeed something in your life, you have to get out from your comfort zone.

  • @explorewithCK
    @explorewithCK Před 3 lety +23

    "what makes you comfortable can ruin you, and only in a state of discomfort can you continually grow"

  • @redneck_adjacent
    @redneck_adjacent Před 7 lety +2446

    Cold showers.

    • @Zandertheduck
      @Zandertheduck Před 7 lety +75

      They are great!! So invigorating! Except I start warm and then turn it cold.

    • @nimimerkillinen
      @nimimerkillinen Před 7 lety +55

      wim hof method

    • @cinnamanstera6388
      @cinnamanstera6388 Před 7 lety +11

      lasy rabbit actually has a heck of a lot of health benefits, outside of the mental strengthening.

    • @katrinasoltero6872
      @katrinasoltero6872 Před 7 lety +2

      Pastor Guzik

    • @sexybeast7728
      @sexybeast7728 Před 7 lety +51

      You use willpower only at the begining when you try to make it your habit. But once you succeed in making cold showers your routine (which happens pretty fast) it takes as much willpower as normal shower.

  • @coachtammyspeaks
    @coachtammyspeaks Před 3 lety +7

    THIS GAVE ME CHILLS! Thank you! So POWERFUL!

  • @spuktuku
    @spuktuku Před 4 lety +2

    Three years ago i had to make my own ted talk and i chose this topic after watching this video. It's funny that after all these years I still remember every word. Really changed my life, thanks mr. Eckstrom.

  • @Blocphace
    @Blocphace Před 3 lety +49

    This is an interesting talk by Bill. I so appreciate his position on this and sharing his thoughts. I Spent a large part of my younger days abused and neglected. Parents not being around, and spending time with other family members who were not hiding their discomfort with my presence. Some days Food was a luxury. I understand fully well that there are others who suffered a more severe fate. Having spent a majority of my life playing 'catch up', I've got to say it's taken a toll. At this point, I'm not ashamed to admit that I seek comfort and order in it's purest form.

    • @audreym823
      @audreym823 Před 2 lety +12

      thats actually a good thing. it means you’re leaving your comfort zone, as weird as it sounds. most people stay in or replicate bad situations because its comfortable and change is hard. im trying to avoid the same thing myself, because being the same type of miserable is easier than possibly introducing a new, different, scary miserable. the fact that you want better for yourself is good. that is the opposite of sticking with comfort

    • @tahitihawaiiblue
      @tahitihawaiiblue Před rokem +3

      @@audreym823 great point 👍🏻

    • @TheJigree1
      @TheJigree1 Před 5 měsíci

      I also had a traumatic, chaotic childhood and sought growth and then finally sought only comfort. Only now I think I've taken it too far in seeking comfort and avoiding discomfort. I wonder how we find balance between pushing ourselves to grow and being in a state of comfort.

  • @billilkovski7928
    @billilkovski7928 Před 7 lety +401

    Nice talk, However people and nature require and ebb and flow in order to grow. Sleep and wakefulness, action and rest, complexity and stagnation need to cycle. Sustained complexity only has you pushing the edges of a sphere and never breaking through. It is only through the cycling of the growth rings that we can escape the sphere and break out into a new larger sphere where perception and growth has achieved a new more encompassing arena of experience, perception and understanding.

    • @notitlegiven
      @notitlegiven Před 7 lety +4

      Which portion of the talk suggested a pursuit for unremitting complexity?

    • @kathrynkearney2847
      @kathrynkearney2847 Před 7 lety +26

      That is true; we could not grow from just constant never-ending complexity. But the fact is that merely adding complexity/discomfort into our lives will by no means lead us to a state of constant never-ending complexity.
      We are already naturally faced with order, action and rest, and stagnation in life. Most of us are simply resting in a state of order. And so most of us do not have a full cycle that goes from order to complexity, then back to order again. All we have is the order; therefore we have to add the complexity ourselves. He wasn't asking us to go to the state of chaos; he merely said to add complexity to our already-orderly lives. So in other words, we don't need to worry about trying to control or create every component of life; our job is just to pursue complexity/discomfort, and life naturally will complete the cycle as we grow from the discomfort. For as we grow, what used to be discomfort for us becomes comfortable. And thus then from that "higher platform" you can pursue discomfort again, and continue the cycle of growth.

    • @youbiscuit2146
      @youbiscuit2146 Před 7 lety +9

      Perfectly said. It is a question of balance.
      Also, from his daughter's perspective, boy I'm glad that's not my father!

    • @billilkovski7928
      @billilkovski7928 Před 7 lety +7

      @Noti Tlegiven. Thanks for the question Noti, he suggests that complexity is were growth occurs, I'm suggesting that growth occurs even in order, chaos and stagnation and that some people may even need to break out of complexity in order to grow (although this doesn't seem to be the norm but can occur in highly motivated individuals). So if you want sustained growth you may need to push yourself in any one of those directions depending on who you are. Chaos is where we can break the shackles of our former perspective and make room for the structuring of a higher order.

    • @billilkovski7928
      @billilkovski7928 Před 7 lety +5

      @Katheryn Kearney, Yes that is how i understood his talk too and i think it is very useful for many people. But id suggest also going to chaos and stagnation on purpose as needed. But it may seem a bit dark and counterintuitive. Many people already resist the uncomfortable notion of complexity let alone chaos, But without chaos, growth remains within fixed parameters. Chaos means letting go of the order and complexity you created and making way for a new order. Without breaking down and letting go of our beliefs its very difficult for a more inclusive and encompassing perspective to be formed.

  • @annaschott1274
    @annaschott1274 Před 7 lety +18

    The "Growth Rings" put thoughts into words. Thank you Bill for sharing this idea not only worth sharing, but also worth implementing in my own life!

    • @Cineenvenordquist
      @Cineenvenordquist Před 7 lety

      Anna Schott Oh great, now he's going to send you a ton of broken telopause analogy based ads and nobody will finish their kitkat or coffee anymore because of the fashion.

  • @mangoyacho
    @mangoyacho Před 4 lety +7

    Such words of wisdom especially during the period when corona has turned our lives up side down. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  • @michaelfuqua4394
    @michaelfuqua4394 Před 5 lety +26

    Had this belief in my mind forever. It’s hard to force yourself into discomfort but damn... it sure does pay off. Stay humble and protect your own path. Love and gratitude 🙏

    • @SansPeine
      @SansPeine Před 9 měsíci +2

      It doesn't pay off. I'll be comfortable as much as I want

  • @straightuniversity
    @straightuniversity Před 7 lety +6

    That was so healing. Thank you for all the stress this has relieved me from.

  • @shanghai_city
    @shanghai_city Před 6 lety +7

    Thank you for this speech. I listened to this at the right moment in my career.

  • @roons2424
    @roons2424 Před 4 lety +33

    Boy I can tell by his circumference he still rolls in a lot of comfort

    • @SlayPlenty
      @SlayPlenty Před 4 lety +4

      He has to deal with much more stress than any employee when running a company.

  • @motv-independentthinkingfo3817

    I LOVED THIS TEDX! DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET COMFORTABLE! QUESTION AUTHORITY, SEEK POSITIVE CHANGE, DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF FROM ALL OF THE SUCCESS AND POTENTIAL GROWTH THAT YOU HAVE INSTILLED IN YOU THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE! I AM INSPIRED AND I AGREE WITH HIM💯🙏🏽❤

  • @arsenioseslpodcast3143
    @arsenioseslpodcast3143 Před 7 lety +750

    Born and raised in Las Vegas, I show no bias whatsoever to what he said. Comfortability is what's dooming the entire American population. Too many people are comfortable with mediocrity. People are going to work DYING (as Les Brown says) because they're not happy with their job. I have a minor in dental assisting, having worked in two different countries (America and Australia) for three years and realized that I was confined to not even a fraction of my true capabilities. I realized that I can do so much more, so I moved to Thailand (thinking this was one of the friendliest societies on Earth), and I was welcomed by heinous racism. For four years, I've woken up in a society which I am uncomfortable because the looks I get from Thai people. However, the book that I'm writing, the podcast I have, the blogs I write has people tuned in from as far down south as Argentina, across the pacific into Pretoria, South Africa, all the way north as far as Finland and even countries such as Iran, Syria, Israel and others. When you become comfortable with being uncomfortable, you now have a story. A story that could inspire tens of thousands around the world.

    • @Javvaska
      @Javvaska Před 7 lety +15

      Arsenio Buck welp Israel is not a country btw

    • @arsenioseslpodcast3143
      @arsenioseslpodcast3143 Před 7 lety +36

      People call it the "state of Israel" or a country. It's primarily a country. Nice try though.

    • @ajacoryell
      @ajacoryell Před 6 lety

      Arsenio Buck good stuff friend

    • @faa1412
      @faa1412 Před 6 lety +4

      Are you sure the looks weren't out of curiosity?

    • @ms2506
      @ms2506 Před 6 lety +2

      A Matt- Well I've been to Thailand and I can vouch for what Buck's saying. Thailand is one of the highest visited place in the world so not sure what makes them that curious.

  • @omer82752
    @omer82752 Před 4 lety +22

    I remember my fathers frustration at me for being stubborn and not listening to his advice, but every generation has to make their own mistakes and learn the hard lessons which only pain and discomfort can teach!! So true what this presentation says about pain and learning, only through mistakes and necessity do we learn the valuable lessons of life. You appreciate success more if you have to struggle for it!!!

  • @jupiterscorner5423
    @jupiterscorner5423 Před 2 lety +4

    UPdated: I watched this months ago before I moved out and now I moved away across the country escaping my toxic father and I have grown as a person

  • @patty3451
    @patty3451 Před 2 lety +3

    I'm snapping my fingers on this one!!! Complacency has never been a friend. Thank you for this talk.

  • @AULASPLATAFORMAELITEMIL
    @AULASPLATAFORMAELITEMIL Před 7 lety +8

    Definitely, one of the best videos that I have ever seen before, because the examples wich he uses fits perfectly on me. I've a government's stable carreer, but I wanna be continuing growthing, so I just decided to run my own business and I'm even more sure that that is the best choice that I can make in order to keep learning and improving my life in general terms.

  • @CalvinCambridge12
    @CalvinCambridge12 Před 3 lety +4

    For every great force there is an equally great opposing force. Love and hate. Happiness and Sadness. Comfort and Discomfort. Experience both forces for what they are and do not let the forces consume you and we'll be alright! Wish everyone the best on their journey!

  • @steelcon58
    @steelcon58 Před 6 lety +6

    Wow. Love it! I was so uncomfortable in my comfy job that I quit. Last year. I’ve never felt better and I had no idea where I was going.

  • @ju9piter
    @ju9piter Před rokem +3

    Yes, I had to walk away from my government job because it was horribly stagnant. And it was oddly chaotic at the same time. In short, It didn't have order OR complexity. I know that was the right decision at the time, and this talk helps me understand why.

  • @seanpayant9497
    @seanpayant9497 Před 7 lety +8

    Bill, thanks for sharing your experience and coaching us with your wisdom. Great Job! SP

  • @khalidakram
    @khalidakram Před 3 lety +3

    One of best talks I have listened to in the past 5 years! wow. It just makes sense!

  • @jeffdouglascreates
    @jeffdouglascreates Před rokem +1

    That Bus Story. Awesome and you said Jesus. Amen.

  • @b10gazza
    @b10gazza Před 5 lety

    One of the most inspiring Ted talks I've ever heard !

  • @parthsalat
    @parthsalat Před 4 lety +14

    The confidence with which he speaks is simply fantastic.

  • @TheBroknPezDispenser
    @TheBroknPezDispenser Před 3 lety +5

    Everytime I go through severe life changing discomfort, I come back to this.

  • @claudiofreitas910
    @claudiofreitas910 Před 3 lety +4

    Great great Ted Talk. I go for it and recommend it to all of us. Too much comfort will take us to stagnation and eventually death, first mentally, then physically. I have known many people who always lived in the comfort zone. Today they continue their comfortable life ...in the cemetery...or in a jar.

  • @lonjemariesfashions5117

    I’m going to put this in my video library of one of my top 10 TEDx talks of all times this Gentlemen can bless you because he’s right!

  • @zarahovhannisyanofficial1577

    Great speech! One of the best I've ever heard on TED.

  • @justiceforall6135
    @justiceforall6135 Před 7 lety +4

    "Choose complexity instead of order" great advice for growth.....

  • @MrDevanzo
    @MrDevanzo Před 3 lety

    Best Ted talk I've seen so far! Absolutely love it and watching this over and over!

  • @adammalik5731
    @adammalik5731 Před 9 měsíci +3

    The prevalence of comfort has had a detrimental impact on successive generations. The proliferation of modern devices and electronic conveniences has led people to opt for ease in their daily lives. For instance, individuals now have the ability to remotely turn off lights instead of walking to the wall switch, and they frequently choose to drive short distances rather than embracing the simplicity of walking. This prevailing comfort has resulted in societies becoming complacent about their progress and development. As a consequence, the hunger for achievement diminishes, and a sense of laziness takes root.
    Interestingly, it is discomfort that acts as a catalyst for change and growth. When faced with challenges, the brain is stimulated to devise innovative solutions that eventually lead to greater comfort. However, the quandary arises when individuals remain ensconced within their comfort zones. By doing so, they inadvertently stifle their personal and collective growth, impeding any transformative changes in their lives.

    • @SansPeine
      @SansPeine Před 9 měsíci

      Laziness is great. I'm looking to comfort as much as I can

  • @archon3897
    @archon3897 Před 7 lety +8

    This is a game changing talk. I've watched hundreds of these and this is major. First one I've liked on CZcams and first one I plan to share.

  • @sheepleslayer586
    @sheepleslayer586 Před 5 lety +22

    Still watched this, even though I "thought" I knew what it was about. Thought I did, I still heard it in a different way of thinking that expanded my knowledge of the topic.

  • @arlinegeorge6967
    @arlinegeorge6967 Před 3 lety +2

    Departure from the ordered life. So true. Loved your talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

  • @curious_one1156
    @curious_one1156 Před 2 lety +3

    Those who have the comfort of discomfort given to them by mentors are lucky, specially in the childhood.

  • @davidgoggins9585
    @davidgoggins9585 Před 3 lety +10

    I first watched this video back a few months ago and lost interest 2 minutes in. I stumbled across the video again today, and this video is honestly life changing. Bill Eckstrom gave me the answers I was looking for. If you want to become a Master of Growth and achieve something more in this world then you must learn to love what sucks. "Growth only occurs in a state of discomfort." Therefore to master growth, you must live in discomfort.

  • @GGGGoGetterGirl
    @GGGGoGetterGirl Před 7 lety +14

    Stagnation will always stunt growth in your life. Keep seeking and keep improving!!! Cheers, GGG

  • @johnathansaviourpathmanath282

    100%. If you are able to recognize these events as opportunities for growth then you are a champ 🙌

  • @richardhemingson3824
    @richardhemingson3824 Před 4 lety +1

    Great talk and very true. Can't stress how much being uncomfortable makes you grow.

  • @ScottPearsonFL
    @ScottPearsonFL Před 7 lety +12

    So true and thought provoking. Really impressive Cuz, great job!

  • @TopEvt
    @TopEvt Před 7 lety +27

    We grow and learn through our struggles. Comfort stagnates us. Great talk!

    • @christinas.4342
      @christinas.4342 Před 6 lety

      TopEvt The only struggles you'll ever have is to go from morbidly obese to simply obese and to score a date despite your social awkwardness.

  • @pinayhakawati3378
    @pinayhakawati3378 Před 2 lety +2

    Loved the talk and this one resonates with me as I'm going through a 'discomfort' this year. But I realized at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to get stuck anyway, so let's do this!

  • @makanyemathosa217
    @makanyemathosa217 Před 3 měsíci

    I listened and took out what I need and add and valued.. In Comfort there is relaxation in discomfort there is complicity and a room for improvement to set the purpose. There is less chance for growth in comfort..

  • @Ibuycans
    @Ibuycans Před 7 lety +6

    Great ted talk! Defiantly going to start my days a little different.

  • @rofu37
    @rofu37 Před 4 lety +3

    Really enjoying the wisdom in these comments. Also, I appreciate that this speaker gave historical credit to Claudette Culver, who I was never taught about.

  • @nancythomas-wardm.b.a2993

    Don;t blame others for your position in life..be responsible for your own thoughts and decisions...shape yourself to be the best you can...never stop learning and sharing...gratitude for the life you have as over 1 million people don;t wake up in the morning!!! Thx Iman i just joined your program to realise having no regrets, leave a legacy......xn Oh yes avoid like the plague the 1.8 negative people above...

  • @j-the-isso2087
    @j-the-isso2087 Před 4 lety

    Amen, Amen, Amen. This needs to be taught in schools.