Video není dostupné.
Omlouváme se.
SHOEGAZER | Omeleto
Vložit
- čas přidán 19. 10. 2020
- A Black woman learns about her hair.
SHOEGAZER is used with permission from Aisha Evelyna. Learn more at aishaevelyna.com.
A young Black professional, Sydney, runs into her ex one morning on her way to a new job. While she knows she should just move on, she can't help but ask just why he wanted to break up. His answer is unexpected, brutal and discombobulating -- so much so that it sends her spinning, and she discovers there's a set of deeper wounds in her life that she needs to work out.
Written by lead actor Aisha Evelyna and directed by Isa Benn, this poetic, introspective drama short takes a style of filmmaking -- a kind of melancholic indie urban romanticism perfected by filmmakers like Sofia Coppola, for example -- and uses it to portray an experience and set of concerns specific to Black women, with beautiful, heartfelt results.
It has the hallmark beautifully moody, gauzy cinematography and handheld camerawork that is simultaneously intimate, artful and graceful. It's also focused on the internal world of its main character, juxtaposing moments of introspection with scenes of awkward, vulnerable dialogue.
But the story revolves around the impact of Sydney's hair on her life and her intimate life, a domain that encompasses not just her relationships, but her sense of self and worth. Hair for Black women carries intense psychological and social weight, and the film's narrative revolves around Sydney's history with her hair, toggling between her past and the way it impacts her present.
The scenes move between past and present, as Sydney runs into an ex, who explains her complicated relationship with her hair was a factor in their breakup. But it also delves into moments in the past, such as when a young Sydney receives a dose of self-love around her hair's beauty, but also her mother's exasperation with it.
When woven between moments of her co-workers' insensitive comments around her hair, viewers begin to get glimmers of understanding of just why hair is such a loaded topic for Black women, in a way that it often isn't for other races -- and how deeply it seeps into their sense of self-love and affects their most intimate, emotional moments. When Sydney starts to explain this to her ex, both she and the audience come to a moment of illumination -- one that may light the way forward out of a dark place in Sydney's life.
SHOEGAZER ends with a dangling sense of uncertainty, and the biggest quibble may be that viewers will want to know more about how Sydney takes her insight and puts it into action in her life. But the film's arc of confusion into clarity is fulfilled, and more importantly, offers an immediate emotional journey that viewers can experience on a subject that may seem abstract at first.
Like Sydney in SHOEGAZER, many are on a journey towards more self-love, and for many, the obstacles often involve learning acceptance and celebration of aspects of the self that are often ignored -- or, like many Black women's hair -- casually but brutally denigrated by society at large. Like Sydney, we have to learn to tune out the noise of the outside world by calling it out and then rebuilding something new -- and then tune into the loving voices within.
Before she started talking I thought she was gonna be British
Yeaaaa same
Yes cause they leave out be looking bad in Britain
ME TOO! Omg , I thought I was the only one lol
@@angelnelson2012 looooool
@@angelnelson2012 our hairdressers aren’t on America level yet. Plus the humidity ruins our hair
I hate how we are raised into a world of self hate unknowingly as children, brainwashed into thinking that what we have, all the beautiful features, aren't good enough.
It's often the case that we are ... VICTIMS of out upbringing.
thank so much for your comment. It is truly about a woman at the moment when she learns she needs to look inward and find self love.
And that’s why we should screw what society says. Because whether we have love handles or we’re short or nose is too big or our hair doesn’t fit societies standards, there’s very few women who perfect everything society says is awesome so what’s the freaking point? This was an amazing short
Black women make themselves victims by succumbing to the mockery of the world. It’s takes a group to stand up to what’s wrong to make change not adapt to a standard that is acceptable because it’s easy. Fighting back and loving yourself brings change
@@jss8215 They don’t make themselves victims!!!! How can they be a victim for something they can’t control? We ALL suffer from self doubt and Confidence from time to time and others more often. Doesn’t make anyone a victim! Smh
My heart broke when she said “relax that mess” no black little girl should be taught that their natural curly kinky hair is anything but beautiful
My mom had them shave it
Facts.
Men too
@@blacklyfe5543 yeah, but it's not the same
@@bethanyguzmanferia1571 it is the same
"When the world tells you that a part of you that you can't change is bad, it starts to make you hate yourself. Can you really blame me for not wanting to share that with you" that's the message.
😢
Please note it was HER MOTHER that told her she was ugly and that her hair wasn't worth the MOTHER's time or effort.
The leave out is supposed to look terrible. Not every black woman knows how to lay their hair or stop it from getting frizzy. It's supposed to highlight the fact that she doesn't know how to deal with her hair. I noticed how bad it looked too, but as the film went on, I realized it was a creative choice to highlight how she's struggling. It's not meant solely to embarrass black women, but to make you aware that we can't look perfect all the time. People have to be realistic.
THANK YOU YOU GOT IT!
At the top? I think this is a difference between men and women: she's still so pretty, so men wouldn't notice. The guy even says so.
@@aishaevelyna7767 Oh wow! I didn't expect one of the people who made it to reply. 😅Thank you for writing this beautiful story and you did a fantastic job acting in it!
@@vinuthomas2814 She is very pretty, but it won't change how she feels inside or how she pushes people away because of it.
Nobody can look perfect all the time.
honestly no matter what a black woman does with her hair people have something to say. black men have something to say. white men have something to say. white women have something to say. non black people have something to say. if we’re natural we’re nappy. if we rock dreads it’s hard to get certain jobs. if we rock braids someone will call us ghetto and again it’s hard to get certain jobs. if we rock weave or straighten our hair we’re trying to have hair like white women. we never win. when i tell you black women are judged more than anyone it’s true.
EDIT: didn’t expect this to get so many likes. to all my fellow black women girls and in betweens you’re beautiful. always remember that 🖤
Very true
Truth!!!
It's hard living in America. In Africa (I'm Zambian) men love the natural hair, mothers encourage you to keep your natural hair. Braids are dope. No one ever calls you ghetto for a natural look. White people do not dare to comment on our hair. The American experience is very sad.
So true
It's because their opinions have nothing to do with our hair but everything to do with our race. They come after our hair and every other thing because they have deep hatred for black women. We black women are the most hated women in the face of this planet. Maybe even in the universe.
Moral of the story: don't be BOTHERED to care about what other people think. If you aren't supplying the air that I breathe, then your opinion is not relevant!
Tell it!
It would have been the moral if it hadnt ended with her weird monologue
11:45 "When the world tells you that a part of you cant change is bad, it makes you hate yourself" awesome quote
She was in a sunken place. The coworkers touched her hair, yet she didn't even flinch. No boundaries.
That’s why her weave was a mess.
Awww po baby.
It wasn't actually her hair though, so it makes sense that she wouldn't flinch. She had no connection to that hair on her head- that's why it looked crazy. She was trying to live in an identity she felt she had too, rather then her own.
I was mad🤣🤣🤣
One old white dude coworker tried to make a joke about how often I change my hair during a work meeting and I shut that down so quickly, I swear I heard some people gasp.
My hair is none of your damn business unless you're giving me a compliment! Next question.
Who else watched this thinking that lil girl had beautiful hair🙋🏾♀️
i damn sure did and many other black men like me did women got to stop caring what the world says and really hear what we are saying any black man that diss your hair was probably taught by a self hating woman or thought you didn't do a good job grooming it i promise you we love your kinks and curls and we really would love to stroke your hair in intimate moments with out you bitching about how long it took you to get it put in.
i only compliment women with natural hair styles no matter how cute your weave is i refuse to support that insecurity
@@justinwallace451 Most African American women do not wear weaves and wigs because of insecurity. Yes of course, I know some do because of their own personal and societal issues. But most wear them because of the versatility and stylishness without damaging their natural hair. Thank for your truthfulness, and we appreciate you for loving us just as we are.
@@titianiaburgin6749 Thank you for hearing me and appreciating my point of view
Me! She had amazing hair. Some are not blessed with such locks. Evern her hair as a child was pretty and fluffy and looked soft.
My EX husband wanted me to sleep on my hair at night without a bonnet. He hated for me to wear a bonnet to bed. The one time I did not wear a bonnet he complained that my hair was all over my head in the morning. He did not like perm wigs sew in kinky twist corn rows or braids. He found a long hair thin hair Becky. I found out and this natural hair Black woman lost 197 pounds in 3 months and 15 days. Guess who is miserable and wants his bonnet wearing ex wife back? Nope Nope Nope. I love my freedom and I never go backwards in life.
U go girl!!!!!!!💛💛💛💛💛
Very good.
I'm so sorry. What a tough thing to go through. The best revenge is living your best life & watching those fools live in regret of how they treated us. I hope you are still thriving & shining bright
Why couldn't you loose yjay weight an
Why couldn't you loose that weight and be the best version of yourself while you was with him...you literally gave your husband the worst version of yourself physically
This almost made me cry. It really hit a very personal nerve. Feeling like nothing I do is ever good enough, whether I’m natural, with a fro, braids, or locks, or a relaxer that gave me chemical burns and scars, or rocking a sew in or a wig. People always felt it their absolute NEED to force their opinion of my hair on me. I don’t care how you like my hair. And after years of self hate and with a lot of self reflection and deliverance I love myself and all of my beautiful God given features, just as everyone else should. We are not mythical creatures were humans.
what makes me cry is how americans cant see how they whine about nothing
i know these things happen but...
this channel seems to always have the victim as a woman or minority
Life is more complicated than how americans see things
Yall victimise the world in the most heinous way yet whine about people not liking frizzy hair
Americans make me sick
This one speaks to me. My whole life changed when I learned to make peace with my hair, accept it for what it is, work with it rather than against it, and love it! A lot of black girls are raised with deep shame about the unique texture of our hair. Hopefully younger generations won't have to feel that.
oh man this is exactly what I needed to learn and why i wrote it. Thank you for sharing.
@@aishaevelyna7767 Very good video. It hits on a lot of points regarding our perspective of our hair (= our identity) We are programed from birth to aspire to be what we are told is the idea of "perfection" without being taught to discover what is perfect about ourselves.
In other words, teach our babies that they are just fine the way God made them. We have a long way to go, but we are trying.
This video was short but spoke volumes. The scene with the child says it all. Brought back lots of not so pleasant memories but that's ok. It brings the subject up for conversation.
Good work. Thank you.
How is it unique? It's just hair. I'm literally saying this as a black hispanic
@@nikkinorman4254 did you not read her comment?
@@aprilmay1061 No THANK YOU for your lovely comment. it's so rewarding to know you see value/took something from it .
Honestly whether I wear my natural hair, braids, passion twists or weave, someone always has something bad to say. Everyone has an opinion on black women's hair so honestly just do whatever you like! I have sisterlocks and still receive negative comments so there's literally nothing we can do to avoid that.
Well they don't get to have an opinion on how you do your hair or how you feel beautiful.
@@HappyCamper870 bro who asked for your opinion
@@coloursarebrighter4719 lol he was complimentary though.
N N Shave it off like the Egyptians and wear a wig of straight black Asiatic hair. 😍😍😍😍😍😍
@@sagarikasingh834 exactly. I don't care anymore lol. I just do whatever makes me feel good
I'm so touched by this film. I love the illustration of vulnerability with her leave out. It also depicts the internalized texturism we have in the Black community. As a Blasian, I've experimented with my hair in countless ways to try to make it more "manageable" and dealt with the "shoulds" and shame along with it. The often times decades-long "hair journeys" that Black women endure is a chronic trauma-related adjustment experience of being othered in our own country, by our own friend groups, and by our own perception. Until there is more representation of Black American women living well and whimsically natural, it won't feel safe to do so.
I just really can't relate to this struggle. And why is the focus always on one type of hair when it isn't even representative of all black women? Everyone doesn't share the same struggles just because we are considered black.
@@CosmicEremite majority le black woman would agree with this struggle. I am just a teen i still have never figure out what i want to do.
I just joined a bookclub and my first read with them was The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. This video made me think about poor Pecola Breedlove. Her feelings of being ugly were reinforced by everyone around her and she thought that if she just had those blue eyes how happy and accepted she would be.
FOR THE RECORD: The actress wrote the story👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
There is nothing more powerful than sharing your own story. The message is the medium. It took me a long time to embrace and love my hair. I've gone through over processing it with perms and heat to now accepting my crown. Today, I can proudly say understanding the ins and outs of Black hair care and learning to love it is part of my story about self love. Society's perspective is skewed and one that was not created with me in mind. Brilliant writing and film.
Contrived nonsense....at the expense of white men, of course.
@@Mossingen-kq6go *EXPERIENCE IS KNOWLEDGE* not opinion. The arrogance of those without direct participation is prolific in Western culture. *Arrogance + Ignorance = Savagery*
_____________________________________________________________
Curiosity then black obsession and self loathing,why????
@@mrs210 The psychopathy of 'wht' supremacy has detrimental emotional and Spiritual effects upon *ALL* sides of the equation...
________________________________________________________
Man this hits deep. It really isn’t just hair. It starts when we’re little girls. I had my first relaxer in the 1st grade. I remember in middle school I had a full blown panic attack over my natural hair. I was so afraid because I had been conditioned that it wasn’t pretty enough or straight enough or long enough. I didn’t wanna see it and I damn sure didn’t want to let anyone else see it. I spent the entirety of my 7th grade year with my hair in a ponytail. If I could go back, I’d give myself a hug and tell myself “Your hair is absolutely perfect”.
this is such a lovely story. thank you so much for sharing. This was very similar to my experience. I wrote this to let black women know that someone sees this and understands. Thank you.
@@aishaevelyna7767 Thank you for writing this! Very well done and I appreciate you for it!
@Aeternalis Armentarius you’re entirely too kind lol! Thank you!
Same here sis it’s so common we gotta break this cycle
Same my families nick name for me was woola head. I remember getting my hair pressed and burning my scalp with the steam. Getting hit for moving. I honestly felt relief when I got my relaxer. It wasn’t just my mom. It was was my whole black family aunts uncles cousin. I went natural before anyone in my family 12 years ago and I love it. My husband loves it. He loves my wash n go more than me straightening my hair, but I do whatever I feel like. We need to free ourselves of this slave mentality. We will not do this to our children. Break the cycle queens 👸🏿👸🏾👸🏽
I wanted more. I wanted to hear the ex-boyfriends response to her question "can you blame me for not wanting to share that?" This young woman made me feel what she was struggling with. Amazing.
He didn't want to answer her. He wanted to hug her.
Am I the only person who realizes it started with the Mom. Everyone hypothetical person is getting called out; black guys, white guys, could workers, not Mom tho
Brilliant! The trauma for this woman was her own mother condemning her hair. I thought it was beautiful the way it was, but the stylist couldn’t convince her, no one could. Her mother already planted the seed of revulsion for her natural hair. So sad.
Hummm...got any clues as to why her mother condemned her daughter for her hair?
@Bradley Gaju Complete BS
@@zionassedo hahaa how black women have literally been taught to change themselves to fit in. literally to intergrade that doesnt magically go away
@@salmaabdullahgb External cultural pressure has always existed all arround the world, no matter the color of the skin.
But, nowadays, the leftist victimhood likes to set it as racist.
Be proud of what you are, that's simple.
As a black woman that was well said!! Our parents or care givers are our first supporters if they condem our lives or behavior it sometimes sets the tone for how we view ourselves!!!
Don’t even get me started on women who want to touch your hair. It’s not performance art. Keep your hands to yourself!
Thank you 🙏🏾 I hate that
Right!!
A LOT OF ADULTS LACK MANNERS. WOULD
U REACH OUT TO TOUCH SOMEONE'S DOG W/O ASKING IS IT OK? WILL HE BITE? WOULD U TURN THE KNOB OF A CLOSED DOOR BEFORE KNOCKING? WOULD U REACH OVER A CO-WORKER'S LUNCH?
THE LIST OF ILL MANNERS GOES ON.
SIDE NOTE: SOMEONE'S UNCLEAN HANDS TOUCHING MY HAIR🤬
I had so many people, family member, friends, hair stylists convince me to do treatments with my hair (relaxing, formaldehyde etc). And I did it plenty of times. I had two phases in my life that I developed tricotilomania. Now that I am more mature I can see, that the way I think my hair is most beautiful and that makes me most happy is in its natural state, taking care and Hydrating it. (I do not jugde who prefer their hair straightened or other ways though)
@Aeternalis Armentarius have you ever bothered to see it from our side? As Black ppl, we don’t know what it’s like to have y’all hair either. I don’t know what it’s like to have hair obey gravity or have completely flat hair. We’re not outsiders in this human experience. Your hair is just as foreign to us as ours is to you. And when I’ve seen white girls who’s hair I thought was nice I simply COMPLEMENT them, not TOUCH them. Y’all will ask someone’s permission before touching their dog but blatantly grab hair that isn’t yours before even saying hello??( which has happened to me and friends). We don’t know where ur hands have been, we don’t even KNOW you half the time. Yt ppl need to learn to respect Black ppl as equals, because I’ve never in my life heard of or seen a yt person(male and female) grabbing a yt woman’s hair out of no where in bathrooms, classrooms, as they’re walking by, at work, etc. When it comes to each other you know how to respect boundaries. But then you feel entitled to invade our personal space because you “feel” like it.
Trauma from childhood can stick hard. This girl with BEAUTIFUL hair really got traumatized as a child and her entire life has revolved around it to the point that she can't see what the world sees. This one is deep on so many levels but it reminds me of what my Grandma used to say.. " The biggest problems I've ever had were the ones that didn't really exist".
I think the end comment, "Can you really blame me?" says so much. And the shot at the end of her in front of the headlights looking paralyzed- what a powerful metaphor. Brilliant film written by and starring Alisha Evelyna. Thank you for sharing!
Being a white male who has dated beautiful black women and eventually married one, I get so sick of people always asking ME about my womans hair. Is it real? How long is her real hair? Can she grow an afro? Does she wear wigs? Has she ever done dreadlocks? It’s such an uncomfortable topic for me that I can’t even imagine how it makes a woman feel to be subjected to ridiculous questions and comments. And God forbid if she changes her hair... the comments like “oh, I liked it better before, why did you change it?” Or “What happened to your hair?” Come on people, can we treat others with respect when it comes to their personal choices with black hair. Can we start empowering women and young girls with comments like “Your hair looks beautiful!”? When we as a society place so much importance on something that in reality doesn’t even matter, we create self hate and underlying conditions that affect women for the rest of their lives. I have seen it time and time again with women of color who can’t love their natural hair or think they are too dark or are insecure about certain facial features. Tell your children they are beautiful and give them the confidence they need to be themselves in a world full of judgement. If you have questions about natural hair Google or CZcams it. Stop with the questions and comments and start with the appreciation and respect.
I am always so disgusted by people's ignorance. Why are they so concerned?
💯
🙏🏽💖🌹
👏👏👏👏👏👏
this deserves so much more likes
This actress has some acting chops. I think she’s amazing.
I'm falling over. Thank you.
Agreed. She made me teary-eyed and that's a good thing. Brava!
@@aishaevelyna7767 great acting! and great writing too 😃
@@chubbyemu Your channel scares me
Yes, she's superbly brilliant 😎
Aside from the collective trauma black women have with their hair, she did a great job portraying how all those incidents impact us, our confidence, and our self worth.
This is so true for any trauma - how she’s instantly transported back to younger years, past experiences, how she was hyper-focused on others’ hair present day. She eventually focused so much on her own hair that it impacted her ability to form meaningful relationships and missed that she had someone there trying to be supportive.
Would’ve been great if she had other black women around that had been through similar situations to process it with.
Reminds me a lot of my past trauma, especially body image issues stemming from remarks made by my mom and perpetuated by *so* many people over the years.
Great point
As a black man I had to teach myself how to love my hair by growing locs. You want to learn to love yourself and your natural look grow locs
Appreciate the reflection of child trauma impacting her adult life. Sadly her mom made her insecure and the world validated it. Hated she wasn’t concerned about being prompt for her job interview and had to get closure at that exact moment with her ex. Hopefully the women who can relate to her character can find self ❤️love.
Queen Kimmi...Amen🙏
I hope so. This is really sad.
This film was beautiful. I had a dear friend and roommate who was black. We spent many nights staying up to the early morning hours talking about the differences in our cultures- open, honestly, and without boundary. We both learned so much, and I am so grateful for our friendship.
Had a dear friend. Are you two not friends anymore?
Aw 💛
Sorry for your loss....
❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@alibalbee2883 😬
The type of story that lives with you. I feel so much in reaction to it.
Kudos to the entire cast and especially this writer. Incredible.
Hair, hair, hair. Some want more, some less, some straight, some curly, some full, some thinned out... the problem isn't bad hair, it's a bad sense of self-acceptance.
“a little bag ladyish” is as bad as tom asking darcey if she gained weight.
90 day fiancee!
@@user-mb8rf7qk5q pride and prejudice 😳
Lmaoooooo wow 😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣😀
She's preggo. You can see the bump!
Yes!!!! I love that I got this reference!! 🤣🤣
I seen her leave out before I watched it & said “maybe that’s why”💀 I didn’t think hair had to actually do with it
I was looking at her hair too💀❗️
Same I’m like she might as well her natural hair all the way out.
I really said the same thing then when he said hair I was like damn
I was thinking the same thing!
😩😩😩😭
‘Like.. Beyoncé did that.. in that one movie’
Lord Jesus..
This was actually one of the best short films I’ve ever seen. The way the scenes with her as a little girl were shot from a lower angle, the shot with her and her as that little girl. The way her ex showed his ignorance about her real trauma associated with her hair but that he ‘tried’ to care.
💯
There’s a lot of trauma around black women and hair and this is what makes this story so relatable. So many black women have been HER or had similar experiences that have been so debilitating, dehumanizing and humiliating that it makes the process of loving our hair, wearing our hair and accepting our hair harder. Black women and black girls are not their hair! And we don’t have to ascribe to western civilization of how we should wear our hair. Don’t ask to touch my hair! Don’t make comments about how my hair was different yesterday and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT walk up and touch my hair.!!!!!! 👩🏽🦱🧒🏾👩🏿🦰👧🏾👩🏾👩🏾🦳🧑🏾🦳🧒🏾
Unfortunately you can be your own worse enemy and not even know it, your mind can keep you prisoned, it's when you TRULY know YOU that is when you DON'T care what anyone says about you ✌️
@überguy not really
It’s true. But I think society does a great deal of trying to portray what is the worlds idea of perfect or pretty and that’s not OK or right. As long as we stop listening to that, I think will all be OK. Because maybe 2% of us in the world would fit that mold and I’m not sure I would even care to fit in it even if I could.
Wow! So many good comments : AquairaVerse, Amber Mouton, The Uncolored Man, and madden Brown.
madden Brown - Yours really hit home for me. Even at age 65, and I think I truly do knowing myself, I still care what people say, though less so than when I was younger. Perhaps some (like me) need to reach the point where they not only know their "flaws" or even accept them, but rather embrace them. Maybe I'll get there some day.
@@bobp5523 you are already there, you have more confidence than you know wear it PROUDLY ✌️🙏♥️🙏
@@jadesola9324 Thank you 🙏♥️🙏
She's going to be late for her job interview worrying about what a man thinks about her hair
Thank you! Damn I was wondering if anyone else observed that fact.
First thing I thought . That’s her issue right there.
The point of the film is less about what the guy feels about her hair and more about how she let her hair control her, trying too hard to make it seem "normal", and highlights this issue in society, and black women culture in the US.
@@potatoalpacas6114 lol thank you! My immediate reaction to their comment was they clearly didn’t get and the point flew right over their heads.
@@jamesbeyer glad you agree, and also, obviously not all black women have those natural curls/afro-textured hair, but still the film makes a good point
as black man with long hair who gets told repeatedly to cut it I feel her struggle. It's not a black women thing it's just the world is not ready for our natural beauty. I refuse to do as others tell me with my own body
Hey y’all
I am all for being natural and going natural but please can we not SHAME girls who relax their hair?
I’ve relaxed my hair ever since I was a little girl and I love the way it looks. I am not ashamed of the way I look, the sleek shiny look has always made me feel more confident. Not because I would be insecure if I grew it out naturally but because I love it the way it is relaxed.
We talk about society shaming black women for their features when black women themselves shame one another as well.
I’ve only ever been bothered by black people who ask: why would you EVER relax your hair? Why do something like that?!
Please y’all, let’s embrace EVERYONE.
The main actress and her younger counterpart were solid tho
That was cute, when sitting on the floor, her current self looked at her younger self.
As a woman with wavy/curly hair and a mother of a daughter with coiled hair, I have come to the conclusion that every woman has to decide what personally makes her feel beautiful and honor that, and tune out the external contradictions.
So true
Agreed. This is what I’ve done. I offer absolutely 0.00 explanations or justifications anymore.
your daughter requires modeling. And guidance first , I think
Exactly
Please note that it was her MOTHER who told her her hair was ugly. HER MOTHER.
When I stopped perming and straighting my hair I didn't realize how beautiful it was. Sometimes I wear wigs for a different look not because I don't like my hair. I'm in love with my hair...it's gorgeous to me.😍😍😘😘🥰🤩
wow. something so simple can cause so much anguish in a person's life.
Now imagine being fat. 😢
@@tena2sweet Well at least you can stop being fat. All sorts of way to do it. But you can’t convincingly change hair texture whatever you do.
@@frexkles_choxolate7621 also she can have her hair done at a salon and it'll look nice. So much easier than what I'd have to go through.
@@tena2sweet comparing the two is honestly really ignorant lol
@@jemwithouttheholograms8806 she was literally letting something she can pay to have fixed ruin her life. I on the other hand can't do much to help my situation because of my medical condition. So your the ignorant one. Thinking that hair, which is easily fixable, is worse then being fat. This story made it out like she had no control over the situation when 40 bucks and a hair salon would have fixed it. So yeah I can compare the two.
The first person to make me feel bad about my natural hair was a random blk woman at a passport office. In an African country (I was born in the West but I was in my parents home country on holiday at the time) And I was just a child. This was over twenty years ago but to this day I can still remember what she said and the hurt and humiliation it made me feel. As much as we love to complain about hair texture discrimination in western society, blk people also help to perpetuate it. Alongside colourism. The hair salon scene was a perfect example. Nonetheless this short was very moving, and the main actress was very convincing in the role.
This was beautiful, I think a few people missed the point, it was not about him calling her a bag lady. the bag symbolized how much baggage she was caring in her life. How you carry yourself shows up in the world.
He broke up with her because of her "hair" it was not about her hair but that is what she gave her attention to the most. Her hair was one thing that trickled down into her being insecure. When you are insecure you show up in the world as unsure, unhappy and lost. She didn't trust him to love her for all of her because she did not love herself. Our skin is pure gold and when you learn how to love on EVERY PART of you, NO ONE could ever make you feel like you are not valued.
I agree with everything but this:
"Our skin is pure gold and when you learn how to love on EVERY PART of you"
No one's skin is gold - not a single human has that level of value.
My mom did the same to me. But when I got old enough and I saw natural hair videos of black women loving and taking care of their hair. I grew it out and now my hair is the healthiest and prettiest it has ever been.
Edit: I still can't style it though lol and I struggle taking care of it but I love my hair regardless and I'm never going back
“When the world tells you that apart of you, that you can’t change is bad you start to hate yourself’ this spoke to the 14 year old me and is so so relevant to the age of social media when certain body types and images are being plastered as being the default beauty standard it creates an array of mental illnesses like anxiety, depression body dysmorphia etc I really loved this take and from the perspective of somebody who looks like me and struggles with their natural hair
This speaks to me now
Darling, people have a problem in accepting others as they're. If the hair is beautiful, the teeth is not nice. If the hair and teeth are beautiful, then your bust is not big enough. And if your hair, teeth and bust is ok, then it's your hip, skin, hair and the list goes on and on ... A lot of jobless insensitive people around. And if it comes from your own mother day in and day out, it shatters. Been there. Please love your grey hair dear: I know of young girls having grey hair prematurely but that doesn't stop them being 15 or 20 or 25. It's hard but I do hope you make peace with your beautiful hair, I mean it, for what it is. And your friends and a partner will look for your beauty beyond what is ... My mother was made inadequate that she couldn't accept my love because I saw none of these. I saw my mother. And there are kinder people around love. It takes time but believe in you and take the next step. Much love 💗
@@drd.n4695 I think I might have body dysmorphia. I'm fat, but I think I'm fatter than I really am. Because I have a lot of people tell me I'm not that big but when I look in the mirror I see a cow. it doesn't help that growing up my mom would always tell me I'd be so much prettier if I just lost some weight. Something I've never said to my two daughters and somehow they both still have issues with their appearance particularly my oldest. 😢
I WROTE IT FOR YOU. Really. Overjoyed you took something from it. Thank you .
@@tena2sweet I am sorry to hear that growing up, you had to hear that from your mom. I grew up hearing my mom and my sister (who is a year younger than me) telling me my round face is not beautiful and only oval shape faces are beautiful (guess what shape theirs was). Then my sister telling me I had an Indian nose (we are Korean). As an adult I am so insecure about my looks. My friends tell me that I am more prettier than my sister however I don`t believe them.
When I was growing up, I had these marks on my face, I wanted to always cover it up with foundation. It is from a genetic disorder I have. My little cousins were always around me. My youngest cousin who was maybe 7yrs old. I found out was trying to buy foundation to cover up her face too. I told her she does not need it at all but she kept buying it. She was looking at me and listening to me talking about my insecurities even though I never said anything negative to them. Do you think maybe your daughters saw your insecurities and were critical about themselves even though you never said anything negative to them like your mom did. Young kids watch us and listen to us and as they grew older they carry that with them. Just like we did but we were told verbally.
Everything we say to our children at home and in schools should be about acceptance, the most important thing you can give your child.
oh but that goes against CRT!
"When the world tells you a part of yourself you can't change makes you bad, it makes you hate yourself"
This is exactly the reason why "dress codes" that require "straight hair" or "no braids" is inherently racist.
And if you have white skin, a white mother who denies your dad was part black, and a dad simply avoids you as a reminder of his black background, you feel like a crazy person who produces strange hair.
I am a bald black man and I got misty eyes watching this. I've never been a fan of weaves but never really thought about what women and black women specifically go through.
Why was I expecting a British accent...
Bc they leave out be looking a mess 😂🤣
@@tierrareed3139 😅🤦🏾♀️
@ShemaB - probably because of how grey and cold the weather looks in the vid... it's mostly like that here in the UK but you get used to it!
@@tierrareed3139 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Stop it 😂
@@Henilegasp it feels like home
"Why don't you grow your afro like Beyonce did in that movie?"
Yep that sums it up right there. And if your afro doesn't look like Beyonce's (wig), then that's another unsolicited opinion you will hear. Sorry I felt that one in my soul.
Whatever accent that girl spoke in, is akin to nails on a chalkboard. So many Omeleto vids have that accent/way of speech 🤢
White dude here. Just gonna say i prefer natural hair any day over straightened. I look like Dominic Monaghan just with brown eyes and hair, so I have no trouble attracting women. However, I prefer Black women I just love them all sizes and shapes all are beautiful to me. I was really popular at work with all the beautiful black women and they all started trying to straighten their hair to get my attention but I really do absolutely love natural curly hair more, it is what makes y'all different and so attractive in my honest opinion.
This is so symbolic. Black girl can't find a way with her truth
Wow her cracking her hands, being tired of doing her hair. Such a mood not a lot of people understand
Exactly
yeah im a guy and due to corona lockdown for the first time i had my hair uncut for a year and i dont know what to do with it. my whole life i had short hair that i could just wake up and go to work without touching them. cant imagine what you women deal with compared to us guys.
Arms be burning 😂
💯
Something told me his answer was gonna be “it’s the hair.” 😩
Update: I’m not trying to be funny or mean. I get the point of this was to highlight her insecurities about herself and depict what she’s struggling with internally. She’s beautiful regardless.❤️
Omfg 💀 JAIL!!!
I though so as well.
i thought so too
I thought he was gonna say something like people make fun of him cuz his girlfriend is black
🤣🤣🤣
I love my African hair, never relaxed before. I just make sure it's clean, heal and feed it moisture. Hairdressers always want to relax it but I say no. I will never relax my gorgeous hair❤️
“When the black women accepts her blackness…she is no longer in competition with other women.” Ask Nathaniel
My girlfriend is black and Puerto Rican, and she has broke down crying over her hair many times .. when I first met her she wore it in a bun a lot because that’s just what everyone else does .. but eventually one of her bosses asked her to to braid it or put weave in it or something so sheet looks “more professional “ .. and the entire time I’ve been dating her , I’ve told her in love her natural fro..that it Iscompletely unique to her , and I want her to express her self to the fullest extent possible .. but I still want her to do what makes her happy with it , no matter what my preference is :. Anyway , as soon as her boss said that , I putsuaded her to let me help her get a new job, so she can quit that one , and We found her one right away .. I don’t know what she goes through personally , but I would do anything to understand her and relieve her struggles ..
Really, she should be able to do whatever the hell she wants with it and still be the beautiful woman she is!
The problem is that she can, but she let herself do it. The tragedy is in her own head. She can't stop letting the crap she's felt in the past control her actions now. She can see the beauty as in her mind she's not good enough. It's her burden that that she can't unload.
@@northshorepx Yes, Ive understood that completely.. I wrote my comment because I feel the same and I am trying to be ok with my hair and its a huge journey. Any part of your body. Being human as is, is a completely hard thing for anyone to conquer.
No black woman can truly be beautiful with another woman’s hair taped, or sewn to her scalp.if black women want hair that bad, they need to take the time and grow their own, without the chemicals; its not that hard to do.
This is why I love Chrissie, I use to get so mad at her weave comments but I’m grateful, sis kept it real, there’s no reason for me to take care of some dead ladies hair better than my own.
I often hear sisters say, “I need a man who can handle a strong woman like me.” But wait a minute, why do you want a man to “handle” you? Are you an animal? Wouldn’t you rather be loved instead? Sisters, why do so many of you equate masculinity with thuggery? Sagging pants, tattoos and rowdy behavior aren’t indicators of strength; they’re signs of immaturity and weakness. Get a clue. Your children deserve better fathers, you deserve better husbands, the Black community needs stronger families. Stop choosing the wrong men. Here’s the problem: Black women have become so cynical and afraid of being mistreated, they don’t know how to behave when they finally meet a good Black man. I get it. It’s hard to trust anyone after you’ve been hurt over and over again. On top of that, many sisters are programmed to hate Black men because their mothers were mistreated by multiple partners and told their daughters not to respect or trust Black men. It’s a vicious cycle, but it has to stop. If it doesn’t, the Black family won’t survive. To protect themselves from heartbreak, many Black women hide behind an emotional wall; they’re protected by a thick, hard shell. In essence, there are many Black women who behave and think like men. Consequently, Black men are often afraid to share their emotions in fear that they will be ridiculed by hardened Black women. Black men who express themselves are called “punks” and “soft” by Black women. But how can any relationship prosper if both people are either too afraid, or too stubborn, to express their feelings? This is often the consequence of dating a Black woman. Sisters, instead of being in a meaningful, emotionally edifying relationship with a good man, many of you consciously select the alternative. But if you leave good Black men in the cold, where do you think they will go? That’s right, straight into the arms of a White woman. Some Black women protect their own feelings by wreaking havoc on those of others. I call it, “hurt before you get hurt” syndrome. Sisters, this behavior is counterproductive; it will turn a good man sour and he won’t be emotionally available for the next woman, perpetuating an ongoing cycle. A friend recently told me, “When a guy is too nice, I think he’s up to something or trying to play me.” She added, “With thugs, you know what you’re getting, I don’t have to wonder.” The wiser the woman, the more self-aware they are with themselves.These women know that they aren’t perfect, have an understanding of their flaws, and usually don’t mind being called out on something having to do with their flaws. This is especially true if presented as constructive criticism. But either way, wise women tend to be able to shrug things off easier. Black women are smart, but they’re not wise.
Her hair was so beautiful when she was a kid but her mom made her believe she had "bad" hair which led her to grow up not knowing how to properly style her and also a deep insecurity about her hair that a lot of black women are too familiar with.
My daughters who were teens convinced me to embrace our natural hair and I’m grateful for the message
❤️
It's just that it's such a mess and freaks most of the rest of us out.
So blessed my mother and family instilled pride, in my natural beauty including my hair, from young. Not a soul on this planet could ever make me feel ashamed of my 4C hair especially some white man or woman. This is so sad yet a reality for many. Parents, confidence and pride starts at home.
I love hair. My favorite hairstyle I ever had was knots - my hair is very wavey-curly and if I don't maintain it, it will tangle into knots. People often stopped to compliment it, even Black folk. You get a lot of the same stereotypes we're all used to - mainly that we sell weed or are some flavor of hippie. My hair felt spiritual to me when it was in knots. I felt connected with humanity, going all the way back to the dawn of humanity. It was my *favorite* hair. I have missed it for 17 years. But there is *so* much privilege to being able to just brush it out and look like every other white person. I can't in good conscience wear them knowing that Black people will see in me that reminder that there is a huge societal gap between us.
I love hair. I compliment so many people on their hairstyle choices, especially colored hair or alternative hairstyles. It breaks my heart that I don't feel able to compliment Black people on their hair. Sometimes I really, really like it, but I stay quiet, because they don't need another white person commenting on their hair. It's such a pervasive pain, and I've been really happy to see how society is starting to accept natural hair more often, but we have so far to go before Black people feel they belong. It breaks my heart.
Her leave out was killing me the entire time
I literally was staring at it only. Like whyyyy😂
LMAOOO Like was there no flat iron available? I-
AHAHAHAH - Yeah me too.
Lol but it's so true to life! I know I see those eeeeeevery day
An here u guys are 😂😂😂😂
I was about to get annoyed at the thumbnail until I watched the whole short 💀. This was appreciated. From an early age a lot of black women are taught their hair isn’t good enough or pretty enough.
But, isn't that how Afro hair is? Why shame something made by nature?
@@drd.n4695 Because the West has some issues regarding race, dude. This is why we're often screwed by the rest of the world.
@@johnwescott3846 The issue with appearance is a universal disease. And I see that Afro hair is no exception.
Its not afro hair🤦
@@REOROWE You can go ahead and correct my jargon but that is a minor point in an otherwise important conversation. I can feel her pain because I had been body shamed since 12 and it's over 30 years and I still struggle. Let's focus on the root. Thank you.
This one hit hard and cut deep, i still feel sick to my stomach. At age 42 i finally felt confident enough to embrace and wear and love my natural hair. I admired everybody around me wearing it naturally, but i was too scared. How will i look? And more important: how to take care of it? I can never get back the hair quality and quantity i had before pressing, straightening, jerry curling and all other nonsense done to my hair. Once i took the step to go natural it felt like TOTAL FREEDOM, no more mental slavery. Lets stop this cycle of self hate and ignorance of not knowing how to nourish and take care of our hair and teach our girls and boys the beauty of our natural hair, bodies, features. We were made to Gods image, which is perfection.
I hate it when Black People say, " Oh, you have good hair". This is what I was told, since I was a child. I hated it, because I had a dark skinned older sister, who had coarse nappy type of hair, that was brittle, and use to break off a lot. It was difficult for my mother to fix, so my mother use to make the comment. "You have such 'bad" hair, which resulted in my big sister crying. It hurt me to the core, to see my big sister cry. It affected her to the point, that, when she grew up, she wore wigs all her life. Please, people, never tell your little girls that they have "bad" hair. There is only different textures in hair. Coarse, wavy, curly, nappy, are all different textures of hair, and it is all good. Their is no "BAD" hair. I hated people telling me my hair was better then my sister's, because it was wavy. Just because a persons hair is harder to manage, doesn't mean it's Bad!! People, please be careful with your words around children. It can hurt them all of their life!!!
Don’t date someone who calls u a bag lady n thinks he’s being funny.
That’s 100
I'm looking at him like for real? not even in her league
@@cassiemarie859 Of course he's in her league, it's Zaddy. If the characters would have been Tyrone and Becky the comments would have been an epic well worth read.
Only if it's good normal banter
@@drthvadr3418 Becky, the daughter of Karen and Darren...
I do not know what I like most about this - if he dumped her for lack of self esteem or if he is waking her up to it.... But very strong indeed
He's her ex, he doesn't deserve any of her time. Saying she looks "bag-ladyish"??? She's a beautiful woman. working to make it in life.
If a person is put off by something as shallow as your hair? They need to go.
In truth, if a person wants to break up, they will use anything as an excuse to break it off.
I love her. She's beautiful. To have something hurt you in life and constantly being reminded about it is very painful to watch. Especially when it has something to do with what you have no control over like her hair. But this is more than that and it is told in such a perfect way.
Their acting. So talented.
Thank you Sheena!
@@aishaevelyna7767 omg even if you are only an actor your hair is amazing i felt bad while watching this 😂❤❤
Related to the hair salon scene so much. My mom let them relax it till the age of 12 because she couldn't handle it. Haven't used a relaxer since I started taking care of my hair myself. You need a lot of patience to work out what products and methods work but it easy peasy from then on
My mom would always relax my hair. It was fun but also not fun. ☺
YES. easy peasy now. But man what a journey. Thank you for watching and sharing. :)
Well I had no idea, this was/is a thing. I’ve never had an opinion on that hair, I guess if I had to comment, I’d say I love it. ! But I’m not sure this flick is really about HAIR, front row and centre.
Interesting tho.
I complemented a black woman's natural hair the other day, she got so happy now I understand why.
Growing up as a black girl having my hair pressed, watching my Mom wear wigs and my sister and other women struggle with hair styles...I cut my hair off in my 20's and decided never to deal with that nonsense again. 😂
Whew the relief! Some people frown upon it. I'm 60 years old now and it was a great decision of freedom for me.
Her mother planted the seed that her natural hair was an abomination. So sad. Your natural hair is beautiful! It's healthy, strong, and fierce. Straightening it just weakens it. Be strong and rock the hair you were born with!
Amen💗
Notice the women aint here commenting
@@keymusabe7207 their at the Chinese hair store , they'll be here this afternoon
Growing up, we were a group of 3 girls, one Japanese girl, one Polynesian and me Gaelic. The Japanese girl always wanted to ‘be able to do something’ with her hair, it was ebony black so deep it had blue highlights, so thick and glossy it shone, but she hated it because nothing held, no hairstyle except straight down, pins would slide down in a few minutes, hairbands the same and if you tied a knot in her hair it would also slide down and disappear by itself within a few seconds.
My Polynesian friend used to hate her hair because her curls were ‘so much work’ to wash her hair she would block a whole afternoon so she would do it only once a week and hairstyles in her mind were limited to pulled tight over her head and a bun at the back, she would not let her hair loose except is special circumstances.
And me, I just loved how beautiful and unique they both were and always thought I could be more like them instead of mousy ‘ordinary’. We all struggle to a certain extent. But none of us needs people on the outside to judge and put us down.
Love it.
Amen
You must have met some of the same women i met in school. I had a Filipino girl in my class who had the thickest and blackest Asian style hair. Another girl in my class had that curly Polynesian style hair you mentioned. Here i am. With my medium and thick permed hair that in my opinion needed a new relaxer and they loved that my french twist stayed in place. They both complained that they wished they could do all the stuff to their hair that us black women can do. I wanted the hair the Filipino girl had.
What makes you think that your hair is « ordinary » ? And other hair types aren’t ?
@@cronut5786 I would presume she meant hair that doesn't stand out for not being so different from most other hairstyles.
My dad treated me the same way. He never liked my natural hair telling me to comb or cover it. When I started wearing weaves he was bragging about why can’t I be myself 🤦🏽♀️ doesn’t make any sense
Dang, I did not expect to feel so strongly for this girl in this situation. Well done!
When the world tells you that a part of you that you can't change is bad (like your hair) then the world is wrong. Try to break those bonds of mental enslavement. Your natural hair is beautiful.
Internalized racism does exist.
Loooool I'm DEAD😂😭
She needs more black friends ❤️
(Read the comment feed before you have egg on your face please.)
Good*
@@therealmaskriz5716 yep! It has nothing to do with having white friends. She needs good friends.
@@cmdjk1 I've had white friends and I always had to go through telling them how to treat me as a black woman, dont say this, asking why they treat me differently, it's tiring and it does matter the majority of the time
@@chesneectp wierd friends i guess. There will always be differences among people and friends aswell. As long as their not ill intended I can concur.
My best friends and I dont have the same race or background and get along splendid.
@Cee Moran that's like saying all people of one race think and act alike. Kinda backwards thinking but i guess I know what you're getting at.
My husband is white and has always loved my natural hair. We been together almost 17 years. It took me much longer to accept myself. I grew up in a small town with few black people. I have very tight kinky 4c hair. I was never teased or bullied about it. I had many friends, but I always felt less pretty. My mom always told me i was beautiful and did everything she could to discourage a relaxer at that young age. But I was stubborn and wanted long "pretty" hair like my friends. She eventually gave in to my nagging and crying and relaxed me at 7yrs. I wish I had listened to her now. Braids, relaxers, weaves most of my life. It took me till the age of 29 to accept myself, cut off all the old damaged destroyed hair and regrow.. Im 38 now. Whenever I'm frustrated with my difficult hair and think I wanna try braids or relax again my husband be like "please NOOOOO I love you just the way you are" ❤
It happened to recently that a guy called me weak just because I can't lift as much weight as he can lift, and that moment literally my whole life was in front of my eyes, I sometimes hate the fact that I'm a girl and I have to go through all this just because of my gender, just because biologically males have higher percentage of muscles. I remembered everytime I was asked to come home early, had a curfew in hostel, have to think about my safety, have to tolerate sexist comments just because of my gender. I hope people start understanding that commenting on something that I person is born with and can not change is the worst thing you can do, even if you are not doing it intentionally but still it's traumatizing and someone is suffering because of that.
I cut off my permed hair, an I love my natural hair way more. Btw one of the best shorts yet 😍😍
THANK YOU LAQUITTA
Am proud of u
You are waking up.
If that little girl grew up with a parent who told her she was beautiful like the hair dresser did and not hear the negative comments and aggravation from her mom. Her inner self would not be so insecure. I know what that feeling is like even though it had nothing to do with my hair. I was always given negative comments about my looks. That my round shape face is not beautiful and that only oval shape faces are more beautiful in the whole world (from my mom and a year younger sister who had oval shape faces). I felt I was ugly and carried that insecurity still as an adult. There were other things that my sister used to say about my face, like my nose looked like an Indian nose etc. Your upbringing and the things you are told, is what builds your confidence and inner security. Say negative things, you create and build insecurities that can last a lifetime.
My mom calls me fat in front of my boyfriend and we both ignore it cause we know it's not true. U do u girl
@@agarmimi2781 I am sorry she says that to you and saying that in front of your bf. Sounds like you have amazing confidence which is so great. I know in my head and my ears that what was said to me is wrong and not true. It's just telling that to my heart which is the hardest. Even as an adult those scars don't go away.
I remember watching on one of those reality shows the real housewives (I know but I love them). There is a woman on there who is super talented, has a great voice and is super sexy. She said that she remembered once when she was performing on stage when she was a young girl (maybe 9yrs old) for a community theatre. There was one part in one of the song where she was singing solo, she belted it out loud (like her teacher told her to before the show). And her voice squealed a bit and she heard in the audience, her mom who was sitting in the front, snicker. It was a short one but she heard it. That made her so insecure because of it and from that day forward she started to get anxiety and have low self esteem that it may happen again to her. She is an adult now and it took that one trigger, that one negative moment in her life to leave that scar. So words are so powerful.
@@demijour1234 it's not like it doesn't hurt but I learned to not care even tho it made me start exercising and she gave me stress so I had to start meditation but she never sees it
@@agarmimi2781 Oh I know it must still hurt. I think you have the right idea though. I tried to mediate but I am not able to sit still and clear my mind. 💞
@@demijour1234 I started because of Jay Shetty's 20 Day live meditations You can search up on instagram or Facebook and try it
i always hated my big frizzy hair. but then i realized that when i look at other beautiful curlies i loved big crazy hair. i just was never shown how to take care and love it
When I cut my hair, a white lady at work told me I looked more attractive with my hair extensions in. I thought that was so incredibly rude. Even if she felt that way, she could have kept it to herself. Nobody asked her opinion. If I would have said “you would look more attractive if you just wore your natural hair color and not that fried bleach blonde.”
Most people looks better with longer hair though.
@@erica6488 yea but she didn’t have to say that. Could have kept it to herself.
as a black woman this was super triggering i never have loved my hair
I feel like established beauty standards are the reason for this. I remember that for quite some time I envied those white girls with perfect blond hair and blue eyes. That was during a time where social media wasn't a thing and diversity was misrepresented because TV didn't portray main characters that were different from said standards. This said I hope you know that black hair is amazing! It's the type of hair that has the most potential for creativity and beauty.
I’m so over us always being depicted as disheveled and struggling. There is never a positive contrast. No one has these problems and I’m tired o movies pushing this narrative . We have salons and CZcams....ENOUGH ALREADY! I’m genuinely offended. Why can’t we just be ......with the regular problems and issues everyone has. There is never anything else depicted smh. Our problems aren’t always BLACK!
Wow Sis, I felt precisely the opposite watching this because not every Black* woman has been liberated by salons & CZcams from that type of trauma yet... For all the beautiful embracing of natural hair & other things, I'm STILL seeing bad weaves & wigs, still seeing codeswitching, still seeing our ppl support symbolism & voting against our own best interest for the sake of tradition. Perhaps this wasn't meant for every Black person, but then again, it shouldn't feel offensive to any individual because we're not a monolith...we're not hive minded. This short was not meant to generalize Black women or depict us negatively or single mindedly. Someone can learn from this. One could be offended or we could watch it & realize that it takes US to heal each other... The character needed to surround herself with secure women like yourself to realize her mother was wrong about her hair & that she can get past the trauma to lead a more fulfilling life❤
I know women whose leave out is one inch because they can’t stop using a flat iron on it. Women who have alopecia from using weaves and refuse to stop because they think their real hair is ugly. Some women do their hair because they like it and that’s cool but for some it’s just like the women who bleach. They don’t do it because they like burning off their skin they do it because they think they have to.
@LoveNot Hate you have no idea who I am. We have all struggled. We all have a sad story. WHEN WILL WE BE DEPICTED AS ANYTHING ELSE! Where is the motivation! We kno the trauma exist. Aren't u tired of wallowing in it?!? Every other race gets to see themselves at every stage of life and success but us. We r always in the struggle only to take ONE STEP OUT OF IT! We are never shown getting over our traumas successfully and breaking generational curses! I did it and it's glorious! I would love to see that story for once. Like every other culture gets to see. It's enough of us just surviving teetering on the brink of a melt down. You should want to see us in real situations of actual success. U obviously missed my whole point!
@LoveNot Hate the fact that u made up a whole story about who u think I am is what ur problem is. Don't project ur insecurities on to me. I would actually be the one to invite u over so I could teach u how to lay your own hair. And not in a wig but any way u find beautiful. Hold ur head up sis. I want my people to gain our confidence back so we r not only comfortable seeing ourselves struggling bc that's ur comfort zone. Understand he who controls the media controls the world. I speak life into black women and want us all to realize who we are and how we should feel about ourselves. Btw....no black hair is bad hair......That's a while other discussion about toxicity. Study u sis. Ur melanin and everything that comes with it is beautiful!
@@AudreyArdenBeauty I totally agree with your sentiments. I'm 40 and have always been natural. My kinky hair does not dominate my life, it's merely an accessory. I sometimes feel like the younger ladies are reaching so far out to find and hold on to a struggle or something. All this obsessing over hair woes needs to end.
So beautiful, I remember being so heartbroken when my friend first opened up about her hair. It stuck with me ever since. I am a white woman, I take every opportunity to educate myself ( and have explained to more than one mother how important their child's hair is and how to get educated while they are still babies). It takes a village to raise children and if we can normalise the discussion and education about hair it would be the best, kids need positivity. If you read this far, know that you are beautiful 😍
white guilt i see
Hurt people hurt people. Afro-diaspora parents who have not conquered their own trauma of being judged by, and trying to conform to european beauty perceptions are usually responsible for instilling the same trauma within their children. I am currently in the process of breaking that generational trauma with my 4 year old daughter which she has inherited from her weave/wig addict of a mother and her friends. I constantly ply my daughter with doses of positive affirmation about her own black beauty in contrast to her mother's reinforcement of euro beauty perceptions as well as leveraging the efforts of other afro-centric family, friends and media. Black is Beautiful!
listen, when you’re having your worst hair day, white or black, is always always always the day you run into your ex. esp if you’re in sweats. it’s a sad fact of life
I know of some stories in which people actually met their current ones while on bad hair day wearing sweats and no make-up. Chances are, one looks the sweetest particularly in those rare awkward moments.
And, you never know, maybe the ex was hit with the strongest nostalgia he could ever got seeing you just the way you usually are when at home in the morning, but he just wouldn't tell you.
He just never would.
Missing the point
Yep you got it. Happened to me yesterday.
@@mentalchemistallismind9597 It legit went over their head
Well aren't you smart 🤪🤪🤪
"the next one with a white man" wtf. Its the biggest slap in the face when even other black women have something negative to say about black hair. the only thing wrong with the kids hair was that oddly placed clip. Her hair was fine as it was!
it was a joke between two black women lighten up
@@ornamentalyouth those joke will never be funny. especially when black people say them it just sad. idk if you're black but you don't know how hearing that stuff messes with a blackkids mind
@@brownstudios5379 no i hear you and respect what you're saying, but it came across as a joke between two black women. maybe not something to joke about in front of children. and no i'm not black so maybe there's flavors and notes that i just cannot fully understand, in all fairness. but the whole point of the film was to show how she developed these issues with her hair.
It wasn't serious. The mother complains about the texture of her daughter's hair saying that she doesn't know where she got it from. The stylist was probably wondering what the mother expects since they're black, so she made the comment. The stylist was likely just fed up of the mother's negative comments about the daughter's hair. The stylist even says that her hair is gorgeous and that she loves her hair.
So true! I’m not against interracial dating but mixing intimately with whites never good for non white people particularly black folks
I never got the obsession with weave and straightening hair. Natural hair will always be the best