Love Bomb - drama on coercive control & toxic relationships
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- čas přidán 7. 11. 2022
- How do you know when a relationship is toxic?
Skye and Danielle are excited to go to university in Brighton, but then Skye meets Jake...
Love bomb is an educational resource used to create discussion with students & train teachers on coercive control/toxic relationships. If you would like this resource delivered at your school/organisation, contact: info@integrateuk.org
Well done & thank you to our young activists who helped to develop this film!
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If someone shows up to your house uninvited... AND you didn't tell them where you live, its a trap. Run!
Yea I would be creeped out
#stalking
THANK YOU!!!!!
Even when you told them Ayan..no one is supposed to come uninvited to our homes. That's abusive. That happened to me , even to leave at your door undesirable gifts like roses or something else .. that's not normal behavior..
Right
Thats some creepy
Scary stuff😳
I hope they are going to start showing these movies in schools to teach children to recognize abusive behaviour.
That's a good idea. It's so crazy though for me to have been involved romantically with 3 narcissist, I look back and see the patterns were the same now that I am out of it. But when I was in it, I couldn't see the difference. I think in addition children really need to know their worth and value themselves. We learn to override our thoughts and feelings in family relationships, school situations etc. thereby causing us to repeat the patterns in romantic relationships. ❤
Don't you think parents should teach this 🤔. School should just educate how to survive and support curiosity in this society but I do support teaching emotional intelligence.
What happened to parents teaching their children instead of trying to be their best friend
Yup they need to 💯
💯I hope so… because ain’t no telling they want us to be sleep
If you feel like it’s going too fast or you’re being suffocated you’re probably being love bombed. It can be hard to “reject” what seems to be kindness and love, but how you feel matters most. Don’t let anyone drop little insults on you either. I was in a relationship like this and I was so brainwashed and miserable
Your gut feeling usually presents itself, but we consciously choose to ignore it because receiving all the love makes sense at first.
@@exquisitemusiclover oh absolutely. It presented itself within the first month with him wanting to talk to me ALL day. One day we were on the phone for 12 hours. I’m not kidding. I thought “how lucky am I to have someone who wants to talk to me so much?!” But also, “geez I kinda want to live my life and not be glued to my phone”
Trust your gut always
men love negging
He used to criticise almost everything I did later on in our relationship. He also didn't have the best relationship with his mom so I guess he resented me automatically. Sickening I know. Glad I got out
I was in a similar situation. I’ll never know for sure if he’s this type but asking me to move in with him just after 2 weeks . Wanting me to meet his mum in a month just felt so wrong. Too fast. I felt like I was suffocating and being forced into commitment. He let his temper slip one day. And I called it quits after a month. It felt like it was too much. He always wanted us to be together which is great and all but it just felt wrong.
Seeing Skye’s whole demeanour change throughout the video scares me so much. She was so full of life and confident in herself and then towards the end of the video you can just see the life leave her eyes.
My best friend lives this everyday. It's too late to fix it
Omgosh this is me and I just need strength to get out!!!!!
@@GridSeerit’s never too late
@@monicaramirez51015I pray that you receive the strength to leave that relationship ❤
That's what 36 years with my ex did to me. It was awful. Im divorced and in therapy now, because I couldn't take any more. I lost Me, and I want her back.
Im beginning to see glimpses of her now and again, but between childhood neglect /emotional abuse, and the toxic marriage during my entire adulthood.....it's just so damn hard.
I know I will get through this, I know I will find Me again.
But I'm still so tired, and still isolate frequently.
Immediately, you see a girl with dreams, with aspirations, with goals and confidence. He knew what she wanted, what her dreams were, and he dismantled it one by one until he was the only thing in her life. And since he's over the top nice to literally everyone else in her life, she feels like she can't say anything or else she "ruins it" and....ugh. Yeah these people are awful. This stuff needs to be shown to children in school.
my mother is a narcissist and she did the exact same to my life.. i was raised by my grandmother for my first 10 years, had many friends, social life, loved school, friends, sports, being outside, every social event, was outside every day. she then divorced my dad when I was 10, dragged me into her new bf's home (mind you, I wanted to live with my dad!), isolated me there completely, I wasn't allowed to leave the house, take the bus to school, invite old or new friends, she wouldn't allow me sport activities, wouldn't allow me to use the phone there (there was no cell phones back then, nor computer), the only thing I was brought to and from was (a new private) school. Later, as a teen, she destroyed the first relationship with a really great guy I had, she destroyed my plans for the future job-wise, all while playing the great, hard-working, single, successful mum who does everything for her only child, "she loves soo much". while secretly telling me I am destroying her life, I am the reason why her men leave her, the reason for the divorce, the reason why she will one day die, I am hurting her soo much if I don't tell her everything all the time,.. Even at age 20+ she called me several times a day, controlling everything, if I didn't pick up instantly she would write me 5-10 messages telling me she is soo worried, she can't even concentrate on work, why would I do this to her, then her sisters and mother, my beloved grandmother, would call me, telling me they are soo worried, what happened,...etc. Her friends would always blame me for being "difficult" and paint her as the perfect mother and me as the ungrateful child. Her father, my grandfather, did too one time when I mentioned an incident when she took me for a hike in the alps wheni was 5 or 6 years old, and forbade me to eat or drink before and during the hike, saying this would "ruin her perfect hike" until i fainted in the middle of the mountains and strangers had to help get me down there - he called me ungrateful for mentioning this incident, stood up and yelled at me across the table and said "everyone makes mistakes". When I didn't do exactly what she wanted, I would get punished by this emotional torture, guilt , shame, lies being told about me, etc.. If I would leave she would tell me she can't go on without me, can't live without me, "you are everything I have", "I am doing it all just for you", etc... It's really hard to get out. And she, too, destroyed every chance in life I had to get out , prosper.. LIVE
This was tough to watch especially since I've had a similar experience.
My life literally described. But no empathy from others
That line “nobody will ever love you as much I will” kills me. There’s literally a billion other people on earth that could possible love you.
No doubt the sort of thing said in the "devalue" phase
Starting for loving yourself
The response should be good. Because what you had to offer wasn't genuine and true love anyway.
Does he believes it ?
@@user-pr5gn6ko7p💯
So easy to see in a film like this. Not so easy to see in real life most times. This happens way more than we'd like to believe.
People sometimes choose not to speak up when they see it happening to others
@@Sigma2HisAlpha and I will add that people that have been through trauma and are not aware of it fall more often into these kind of relationship.
That’s why it’s important to raise awareness about it.
However, it is a known fact that insecure attachments are more likely to fall for love bombing as people who have experienced healthily paced relationships know that actually getting to really know someone and love what you know takes time.
@@NatalieZii I agree. I was emotionally neglected and still really have no idea what "love" is supposed to feel like. So when I was treated like a princess at the beginning I got swept right off my feet. Then you always remember that beginning, and believe that it can be like that again.
@@Sigma2HisAlphaYeah I was going to say I call people on what is not making any sense to me. And if they continue that behavior then I can't deal with you
This is narcissistic abuse. They start with the love bombing, then they start to isolate and gaslight you, then while they're out cheating they're saying you're cheating just because you went to work, they apologize ONCE, and never again, even when they'veblackened your eye.. Those red flags and that feeling in your gut. LISTEN TO IT. RUN!!!
They never apologize, they say what YOU need to hear. They are never sorry. My narc just brushed he's cheating under the carpet (gaslighting) and then tried to make me feel sorry for him. #lividlavidaloca
this is 100% what I experienced
All happened when I was in my early 20’s🤦🏽♀️
Interesting about them apologizing just once and never again after that. They would rather gaslight you.
They also make sure to treat everyone else great
This is why it’s up to parents/guardians to build up child’s confidence. People with less confidence are most likely to be targeted.
Or believe in Jesus and get their confidence from God because these days parents are too busy with work and bills and even their own insecurities than to build their children up.
@@racheloshaksmusic both are supposed to be done. That’s why the Bible says to train up a child.
@@Chloeeezyyy Yes sister both are supposed to be done, but the truth is it isn't being done as it should.
@@racheloshaksmusic THISSS ONE!!!!
@@racheloshaksmusicNo. Just No.
The first clue was when he showed up on the doorstep with flowers. No boundaries. Young people need to be aware of these types of relationships. It can save a lot of heartache and abuse. It can be hard to see how toxic it is at the time.
Thank you for your comment but I disagree with you (hopefully in a good way).
I do believe there are boundaries - the abuser’s. Everyone sure enough needs to respect theirs. But abusers expect their victims not to have any boundaries or for them to be really weak.
@@buyop9441 Yes exactly. I think to clarify what I meant, the abuser showed up like that because he didn't respect her boundaries. These types will tend to test you to see if they can get away with certain things. Then it escalates. Narcissists hate people with strong boundaries. That is one sure way to get them to move on.
The younger me would have been besotted and flattered by the attention. The older me will tell them to go away. I didn't tell them where I lived, they didn't call first, and I am busy with my friends.
🎉 YES 👏🏽 Big red flag 🚩
She didn’t tell him where she lived. But if one does and the person brings flowers, it’s not a bad thing! Gifts 🎁 are nice to get & receive.
hollywood ...smh
His purpose was to ruin her and her dreams. Be careful with guys and people that stop you from achieving your dreams.
Exactly
*and girls
@@stuff1784Absolutely.
That’s what they do
so true :( currently experiencing this. wasted all my 20s. now into my 30s im realizing how much ive lost. sucks
This happens in non romantic relationships too (toxic friends, family, work situations, religious settings ect So be aware❤
Yes with friends too!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Fake friends is what they really are.
They love bomb you too. The same cycle.
That is so so so true. Can be a parent. Being controlled can be from anyone.
Get support if it's happening.
Even if the abuse is happening online, it can be just as harmful.
I never realized you could develop ptsd after experiencing online abuse until just recently when I started going to therapy.
True. I had a few friends like this when I was younger. Looking back, it's easy to see how toxic and insecure they were, but it was hard to tell at the time. Especially because they could be fun sometimes.
@@whateverlolawants I hear that🫡
Yeah, I had a few of those.... glad I'm wiser now.
This is real! Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can about toxic behaviors, red flags, emotional and mental abuse, love bombing, and narcissistic personality disorder. Gaslighting is hideous and destroys your heart and soul. Reclaim your power and don’t stop learning everything you can on this. You will always learn more on this as long as you keep educating yourself. ☀️🌟💖
👏👏👏👏
So true!
Very true, also study up on toxic family dynamics and how that leads victims to seek love, and safety in the arms of abusers.
At the very least, pay close attention to how a person makes you feel and DON'T second guess yourself.
If it made you feel off, it doesn't matter if it was "a joke" or maybe they didn't mean it or any other "maybe..." excuse you may think of.
You felt how you felt. That's all there is to it, and there's a REASON why.
@@bliss252 totally agree 💯💖
Remember “butterflies in your stomach” is NOT a sign of chemistry & excitement. It’s your “Flight or Fight” response to immediate danger. People get this confused with attraction or love @ 1st sight, simply bc the person could be physically attractive.
A person shouldn’t make your heart flutter, they should make your heart calm.
Not sure that’s 💯 accurate. You can feel butterflies in your stomach when you’re excited. We can also feel a rush of positive emotions when we receive praise, compliments or positive feedback. That’s different from an adrenaline rush which is mostly associated with fight or flight.
Wisdom
Wow interesting perspective
I think you might be right because I had butterflies with my last two boyfriends and I wished I listened to my gut and never gave them the time of day. I wouldn’t have experienced trauma , abuse, or became a single mom, but I learned from it, I don’t regret my children and most importantly I healed from could have broke me… amen
YES YES YES ❤
It’s sad how scary these people can be in the moment, and the second you stand up for yourself they run away like the pathetic people they are, on to the next victim
That is what narcs do. The moment u stand up for yourself, ur perspective changes and u see the truth: they are weak, pathetic humans.
YUP!
exactly
not all the time, some of them are true demons and standing up for ones self only makes things worse
That's exactly what happened with my 18-year marriage.
the gaslighting my goodness....I dated a guy like this when I was 21. A real yoyo character trying to isolate me, bring down my self esteem and act like he was doing me a favour even though I was/am accomplished, well spoken, well educated and well loved by my tight circle of friends and family. It's easy to be shocked that family and friends in this movie don't seem to notice Skye vanishing but alas...these abuses often happen in plain sight and if a guy is charming enough to everyone else, it can be hard to even convince them that there is a problem. Thank goodness my family clocked him and I ran and never looked back.
Killing Skye slowly, thays what it is.
Don’t let anyone make you question your reality
My first love did but that’s not love
This.
The first red flag to me was the scene of her spending time with Jake and the picture of her mum talking about her being late AGAIN. Skye seems to have a good relationship with her mum but spending time with Jake causes her to break the rules-not just once or twice-but repeatedly?
When someone truly cares about you, they encourage you to respect your relationships and the people you love, they don't constantly sabotage those relationships and have you doing things that they know you aren't supposed to be doing. Never let someone convince you to break trust with your loved ones...that's how isolation starts. And then they can have you to themselves and do whatever they want without outside interference.
I once had a boyfriend who told me all his friends said i was ugly but not to worry because he thought I was beautiful. He hated me wearing makeup and was crazy jealous. I am so glad I was able to avoid that hot mess.
You, ugly?
😂what a lie from the pit of hell.
Thank God, you dodged that ugly liar!
😘😘😘😘
People are nuts!!! Congrats on saying no to this
If you think this can’t happen to you, life will humble you when you least expect it.
say it louderrrrr. i never thought and then bam!
I don't think this will happen to me haha then I saw what u wrote haha
; It’s so bad, one of this hardest things ever. The one time I stood up for myself, and I said everything very respectfully, he didn’t read the message and never contacted me again. They’re weak.
Amen to that
YES
This is why learning yourself and how to love yourself first is so important. All these years and I’m just getting this and understanding why I was so open to these types of men. Annoyed I let it go on so long but grateful I finally see
The goal isn't to love yourself, humans are incapable and can't perfectly love themselves, but rather deceive themselves of the true love we need from Christ. Love is selfless not selfish. Humility is key not self love, your value should be from knowing the Creator of the universe loves you and sent his son to die for YOU🥰
"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" Psalm 118:6
Have a blessed day hun 🤍
@@getachew. I don’t believe what you believe. Respectfully
@@getachew. you’re dangerous, hun 🤍
You are not alone. I believe these type of guys have predator behaviors that they mask in the beginning. Congrats on taking the time to learn yourself and have peace within ✨️ Blessings along your journey of discovery 🙏🏾
That's one of the reasons why they like em young. Easier to manipulate. People don't usually tend to "find themselves" until their late 20s or early 30s.
My ex used to do the same thing. He would talk about something like I should know and I'll be like, 'oh, you never told me that' and he'll be like 'no I told you don't you remember?' Making me feel like I'm losing my mind or I don't know what I'm saying.
This felt so surreal to me. I had an ex that said the exact same thing...I mentioned his behavior to someone once and they said he sounded like a narcissit. It's so weird they all use the same tactics.
@@mismiserables Yes. They are not even creative
Wow, that's a pathological liar. What?
It's awful to believe someone could treat someone else that way.
Oh, Believe it.
They’re demons.
These were my thoughts, as well.
Until it happened to me.
Heartbreaking
Believe it.
@@Seraphim7this is what we need to stop saying. “These people are demons”. These people are humans with unhealed wounds from childhood. I’m not using that as an excuse, but there’s definitely a pattern with abusive(or narcissistic) people. Rather than dehumanize and dismiss them we should also figure out a way to help these people so they won’t continue to hurt others.
Now if it’s your partner acting this way towards you then it’s not your problem to fix them the best solution is to leave the first time around. But if there’s a family member or friend you see exempting such behaviors(even if small) let them know straight away it’s not okay and get them professional help if possible.
most films, series and books romanticize and eroticize toxic relationships and abusive partners and many men and women, teenagers and adults take this kind of relationship as a model.
💯
I’ve been loved bomb numerous times and it’s to the point that I don’t trust or cannot accept when people are actually finally “nice” to me😖
Date yourself first. Trust me that'll teach you so much about yourself and how you'd want to be treated in a relationship. All the best love!
I know what i want but monsters keep coming...
I’m so sorry 😣 I consider myself a generous person, but I would hate that these awful people are making others think that guilt tripping and love bombing is how relationships work. You deserve genuine kindness and respect and I hope you’ve found a strong support system that love you exactly the way you are and give you presents 🎁 without an ulterior motive.
Thank you guys ❤️❤️ that really made my day .. I wish the same for you all too
Take advantage of the gifts and compliments but never get comfortable, always have two exit strategies(literally and figuratively). Your trust is in your wings not the branch that they are. 😂😂❤❤
It’s so hard to recognize and resist when you are being love bombed. It’s good to check in with an honest friend or relative you trust to give you an honest assessment and opinion. Then it’s important to listen.
💯 So important to take on their advice
Im lucky I tolerate no bs and can see right through facades even when a young girl.
I was love bombed and gaslighted by my ex then he discarded me like trash. I saw the signs and still stayed longer than I should have. I was self sabotaging. I am back to my old self now after half a year smh.
I'm so happy for u sis
Half a year? 1 or even 10 years. You always deserve to be and enjoy yourself
It's scary how realistic and common this is.. I escaped an almost "relationship" like this. The guy just appears in my life, gets close to all my close circle of friends, even church friends, volunteers at the same place I volunteer, everyone thinks he's so nice.. but only by God's grace he didn't get a chance to destroy me. I prayed about the situation first and God gave me dreams!!! Warnings!! To avoid this man. And at first I didn't take heed but the more I spent time with him I couldn't deny something felt so wrong inside. My gut was telling me stay away from him.. sooner or later I noticed him making bad comments about the things I love to do.. criticizing me.. trying to pull down my confidence.. and do I kept a distance and now he's bitter gossipping about me trying to get everyone else to hate me because he failed his mission. My God! These people are evil. Girls if your gut is telling you run, you run!!!! These narcissists are envious evil demons that hate you for simply being you.
Praise God you listened to your gut and thank God He have you those dreams to warn you oh my days!!!
To me I see them as the fallen angels…angels of darkness…Evillll…
Well I married one and boy I pray to get away and God work ot out
So so true.
@@LauraJohnson-gn8wwI really hope you can get away. Better days will come.
This is really triggering for me, people need to also need to understand the cognitive dissonance that comes after all the mental abuse and manipulation and the trauma bond!
I live in a state of disassociation, forgetting all the cruel things I've endured... these videos are great for understanding how abuse happens!
"You'll never find anyone better than me" or "no one will love you as much as I do" are very classic phrases from narcissists . Doesn't matter if it's a male or female narc. Finding back to ourselves is WAY better than staying in a relationship like this. I hope everyone who's trapped in this prisonship will find a way out someday.
This could be great in a drama tv show. I've seen a lot of pointless drama and I've seen physically abusive relationships but nothing like this.
Yes..wonder why these important issues dont get adressed, but they keep making these silly series
Coronation Street did a coercive control storyline. But you are right, one example is not enough.
That's a very good idea, young people need to be taught the signs of this behaviour, first and foremost you should never let any piece of shit put you down and try to control you they are nobody's just some random crap you stumbled upon. Tell them to do one. 😀 stand up for yourse!f.
Oh hell no !!!! Why was her mom not paying attention to her daughter becoming a shell of her natural self?!!! ……the signs are there PLEASEE don’t miss them with the ppl you love & cherish . This happens way to often so we need to protective our young girls & boys so they know how to get away from monsters like this!
Some moms prioritize having their kids in relationships.
@@__rm307 it should be all moms . That’s my point . Kids didn’t ask to be here .
I am autistic and I am very lucky to have a very supportive mom and friends who takes care of me. No behaviour like that will go unpunished because I always have an armada of people to advise me whenever I have a romantic interaction. So if I cannot tell something is strange they will, and ask me to step aside.
I hope everyone can have loved ones to advise them too, so that they can see when the relationship is turning abusive and extract themselves as soon as possible.
So true! You're blessed to have those people in your life and so am I 💓
I lived on the other side of your mirror for 38 years, until I broke the mirror and climbed through.
Treasure those that support you! It seems like life is so.much easier when your mother loves you and won't gaslight you so you can't tell she can't love you. You seem like you're grateful and appreciative, and that makes me glad!
@@MomMom4Cubs Sometimes it makes me very sad to think that not everyone is lucky enough to have a mother like mine, I probably wouldn't be able to have a normal life if she wasn't here to smooth everything down. It devastated when I discovered as a child not every mother was like that, it seemed deeply unnatural for me that some mothers could hurt their children.
I am sorry yours failed to give you the love and protection you deserved.
You seem very strong and resilient and impressive, but it is still unfair that you had to be your own safe person. I hope you have other people in your life who value you and support you, even if they are not your blood.
@@it_butters_the_bean2343 Thank you, you are very kind !
how good for you
Your first concern was show his love bomb offering flowers, post beautiful photos to show how they are so happy. after he started to plant doubts in her mind about other people say about her. The last was show to her mother as he is so nice boyfriend and convince all family about his good intentions. Now he is an abuser with her and violent but her family and friends already are convinced about how nice he is to her.
My advice is: don't let anyone get in your life without get to know you well, at least only be friend and keep your 👁
Oh please for every young lady that watches this … RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. 🙏🏼❤️😭
If I had known to see that love bombing was a bad thing, I could have saved myself 10 miserable years
I hear you, I hope life is treating you with kindness 🤙🏼
This is exactly I feel.
Hell, I could have saved twenty years and a ton of money.
@@williamj.dovejr.8613ditto!
People should know that this happens with friendships too. I made best friends so fast with this girl who totally love bombed. Loads of compliments, encouragement, fun plans, I’d never felt so confident and loved. But in a short time (about 3 months) it turned into negative comments about my weight, convincing me my boyfriend liked her, telling me people didn’t like me, turning people against me before I’d met them, all sorts. Never had such low self esteem, and took so long to recover.
This is why we need to know what real love is.
Jesus Christ is real love ❤ Because sometimes even parents fail to show you real love.
How would someone who grew up in an abusive home know the difference?
I fell for someone like this because my dad is a covert narcissist who still emotionally abuses my mother to this day. They have been married for 25 miserable years.
@@stuff1784 know Jesus Christ instead. God enlightens us and Shows us true LOVE through His Son Jesus Christ. If you explore the New Testament bible,you will see it there. If you read 1 Corinthians 13, you’ll see true love explained there.
Since the fall of mankind through the sin of Adam and Eve, the first woman and man created, the world fell from its glory and started to fall away from God’s precepts, hence now you see all sorts of toxic families. Parents are too busy or they lack the knowledge to teach you properly. Don’t limit yourself to humans that can die at any moment in time. God will never die because He is Spirit. He loves you. He made you in your mother’s womb
If your partner even flinch or buck up as if they want to be physical towards you, don't spend an extra second in that relationship. Love & domestic violence don't go together.
Your so right, that's not love.
It's crazy coz I know and know of women who insist they want a guy who threatens to hit them or bucks at the like he will, they like feeling like he could hit them and I just don't get it, you raise your voice one time and I'm out I don't care
You know what is most heartbreaking being with a narcissist? No one believes you that they are evil and hurt you. All because they put this "i am nicest guy/girl what you would ever wish for" in front of others and they genuinely believe them not you. End of film absolutely broke my heart, guys, if you notice first red flags, DO NOT ignore them and get out of relationships.
Thank you so much for this comment, I feel validated.
Oh God this made me feel sick. I had to keep reminding myself that Skye wasn’t a real person. The situation is very real, however. I hope this film can help someone, anyone, to break free from a relationship like this.
Today I won’t even put the rubbish out without triple layering my lipstick first!! 👄 💄🤣f***k the narc!!!
This can trap a person their whole life it’s a kind of slavery that’s hard to get out of because your emotionally and energetically bound to them they are so smart they don’t show this until your hooked some woman don’t see this side of men until they are married with a kid(s)
This is very real. All of this happened to me over 24 years. I would hardly wear make-up because he said he didn't like it. He would say i only dressed up to get male attention after having 3 babies. During dating, after marriage, after 3 kids, after separation, and now after divorce. Him saying you know what others say about, but I defend you everytime. This was just said to me recently by mine. It's so hard to break free when you lack confidence, esteem, and worth in yourself especially when you have been broken down for so long.
It can be friendships who will gaslight you sometimes as well. I lived as a lodger with another lady when I was 25, and it seemed great at first. She made me believe we were close friends and that she wanted to 'help' me, when we ended up chatting about life and experiences etc. In the end I apparently was really forgetful, and was someone who was 'strange.' Apparently most other people didn't forget the things I did. Analysing any and every little thing in my life clearly pointed to the fact I was struggling with: insert blank. These things became annoying to her, but nonetheless she wanted to make our living situation work. Holding on to my sanity and my own sense of reality, I sat her down and told her that this wasn't working anymore. She cried and said she was really upset. I questioned why she was so upset if I was that annoying to live with, and was just calmly telling her I would move out. She became nicer for a while, but then the nasty behaviour started again. She said that she was genuinely worried about me moving out and living by myself and indicated that I can't run a household and deal with this and that. She may as well have just said that I needed her and that I couldn't live without her. I was cooking one day and she was giving me a whole paragraph about what I was doing wrong, to the point that I began to cry while eating my dinner. None of that seemed to bother her. I packed up my bags and left the next day at 5 in the morning, knowing that if I stayed there any longer I would lose my head. Fortunately I had my parents to go back to. I have never had to see her since. I have learned that it is always okay to trust your instincts and your safety. No matter how fun, nice or popular this person is or what positive things other people say about them - if you feel you are losing your sense of reality, self or feel scared and unhappy, it is not your fault. You are being manipulated and it is not okay. True friends will make you feel happy, safe and comfortable. They will celebrate your wins and love you. You deserve the best 💕💕
The sad part is: the family adopts them because they see one side of them and not the unhappiness of the girl involved...
This was very realistic and great acting. Unfortunately, too many people find themselves stuck in these types of relationships until either someone close to them intervenes or something close to a near-death experience happens. The type of men who do this, don’t ever stop because it’s a game that they get a buzz out of. Thankfully, there’s more information and support out there now.
I was once here, it took intense therapy and learning to love myself to undo years of narcissistic abuse.
Some of his control is coming from the fact that she gives a damn about him, does not want to hurt him, or offend him. If she were able to surround herself with some safe people, even if that means law enforcement and domestic violence professionals, and with their guidance and support, turn the volume down on her empathy and really not give a s*** whether he hurts himself or not, a Huge percentage of his control over her would dissipate. They weaponize your empathy and the fact that you care. That's one thing I've learned.... to stop playing my position, to stop playing the role they expect me to play.
A lot of what they do is dependent upon the target giving a damn.
Run for anyone that makes you doubt yourself. Or even run from someone that puts others down often. You deserve more💜
Worst feeling is seeing your family get close to your abuser and show them the love you desperately need but they won’t give it or you’re too scared to say
Girls, women must start knowing their own worth and stop forgiving this s****y behaviour from men.
Nobody has the right to gaslight, threaten, or stop anyone else from pursuing their dreams.
If you meet someone like that, run away as fast as you can and know you're worth love and respect, always!
Happens to men too.
A bit harsh woman are just as bad ..let's keep it a human thing
@@raversfantasy8873Notice how no one said it didn’t. Why don’t you talk about men’s issues on a video about that if you actually care about it?
@@dunemaethis is an educational video about gaslighting and coercive abusive within a relationship it's not only specific to women. Men go through this same stuff
Women do this to men too.
When I found out that she turned down her opportunity to Brighton to stay with him... I YELLED!!!!! IM STILL GAGGED!
Listen to your intuition. She can tell something’s not right but not listening to herself. Plus he’s gaslighting her to make her confused.
Sometimes you experience a thing and think it's just you. It's way more dangerous than you can imagine. The chills of recognition. Thank you for this amazing illustration.
Omg that literally happened to me before! 7:56 He rushed me because he thought I was "looking" at some guys!
That was the first date! I literally walked home and never called him again.
good instincts..thankfully
Omg the gaslighting: "how much have you had to drink". on my birthday, we went out and i wanted to take a pic of us with his phone. guess what he said? ''if i unlock my phone, the things you'll see will make you cry'. so obviously that completely ruins my night, ive been drinking, im angry, i start getting loud & want to go home. in the morning he asks "what was wrong with you last night, you need to stop drinking so much".
He was slowly breaking her down. Making her think she was crazy. Run fast, these people become obsessive and will waist your time. Their intention is to break you down so you don’t leave them and isolate yourself. Prayers up, so glad I saw this film 🎥 🙏
Very realistic. Scary but shows how subtly these relationships start
Crazy the mom didn’t even notice her daughter growing distant
People often get into narcissistic relationships if they have a parent that is one.
@@Jess-kn8vl makes sense
I can’t believe how accurate this is with my old relationship I couldn’t even break up it was so hard and everyone said „just break up“ it’s not that easy you think you met a person who will make you happy and have fun with and it turns out he ruined your mental health and you will be so confused that you don’t know your own worth anymore
😢💜🕊
thissss ...
When someone starts playing mind games and being abusive, they are definitely not the person to be with. Don't put up with it.
I pray for all woman who are in same or similar situation 💔
Is this learned behavior? I am wondering how someone so young could act like this. This is definitely something that should be shown in secondary school and colleges.
He learned it from his abusive parents, gaurdians, teachers, his ex etc. When someone is abused enough they become the abuser
It's demonic oppression, it's spiritual which is why many doctors cannot explain its root. It can also be taught/learned behaviour from their own parents growing up.
@@erievhs sometimes but not all the time.
Likely learned, and developed from a dysfunctional life over all.
Such characters don't even love themselves
This needs to be shown in schools.
The Christmas scene where everyone's together laughing and smiling and she's sitting there depressed, and you feel too afraid to say anything, I felt that. I've been right there with an ex partner where everyone thought he was great and we were doing good, both our family and friends smiling at us and the few people who could see his true colors, I eventually got isolated from them or convinced they weren't healthy friendships.
No one else knew how bad he was treating me behind closed doors cause in public, he absolutely love bombed me by telling everyone how much he loved me and wanted to marry me etc
Absolutely the worst relationship of my life and I'm so thankful I eventually got out safely.
I, like Skye, found myself unknowingly in a toxic relationship with a love bombing narcisisst because I didn't know what "it" was (this short film is all too familiar even down to her essence fading and her voice becoming practically silent by the end). In my toxic relationship, my life as well as my opportunities in my career just passed me by (I became a shell of a person just like Skye). He started off cooking for me, cleaning for me, hugging me when I cried to telling me I was the "b-word", the "c-word", and that he wouldn't care if I died. The light in my eyes faded and every day there was a barrage of insults and emotional abuse; he would emotionally abuse me daily till nearly 4 AM in the morning (I barely slept and constantly would get into car accidents; my life was a mess but I was so numb). He even started to push me. One day, he discarded me when he found out I was pursuing my Master's Degree. He couldn't fathom being with a woman so educated and not yet broken by his insults, so he left me. I was grateful to god though and blocked him on every platform. In my healing state, I started to feel again. I started to regain the light in my eyes. I started to smile again. Nearly 5 years later, I'm living in a luxury apartment with my dream job and making six figures and learning more and more everyday how to love myself. If you are being abused, please leave. Life is better when you're safe and loved. Thank you for sharing this short film because love bombing turning into abuse can really sneak up on you if you don't know what it looks like.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That must have been hell. Congratulations for getting out of it dear. I wish you the best❤
@@healingpoisonbreak9984 You are so kind for commenting this. Thank you for your loving kind words.
Thank you for sharing this and inspiring so many hearts 🤍😊
Am happy you found yourself.
I wish this was possible for me but I'm pregnant with my 5th child.. Stuck overseas with him..
The blink that Skye’s friend gave her at the 10:37 mark after her bf chimed in made me cry. It was so subtle but powerful to me.
I was in a similar situation. I’ll never know for sure if he’s this type but asking me to move in with him just after 2 weeks . Wanting me to meet his mum in a month just felt so wrong. Too fast. I felt like I was suffocating and being forced into commitment. He let his temper slip one day. And I called it quits after a month. It felt like it was too much. He always wanted us to be together which is great and all but it just felt wrong.
When I decided to end it I was scared to just end it. That also showed me that I was making the right decision.
I’m so happy for you! You shouldn’t be scared of your significant other. I had to learn fear is not love!
You absolutely made the right choice.
Well done you did the right thing, what a creep that's scary, I can't believe he would think you would do that after such a short amount of time, you don't know him from adam.
She’s so pretty 🤍
She is ♥️😩
I like how they showed instagram/social media pictures they took to show that on the outside she may look like she’s having fun and that there is no abuse, but in reality their relationship isn’t what it seems
The gaslighting…. The lack of boundaries… this is scary
Never give up your life and education for a man.
Great film, but it was difficult to watch. So many relatable moments. Thank God for therapy and friends. I am still scared to date, but I am getting better at recognizing end flags. Much love to the actors/creators.
Trust Jesus to guide you. ❤
We have to do better as parents, friends, teachers, influencers. There’s no reason why children should be susceptible to this type of predatory relationship behavior in this day and age. I never cared about what other kids said at her age. I was also bullied when I was in elementary school. I told my parents, who didn’t brush it away like her mother did. I was taken seriously and my self confidence and protective instincts were reinforced. I never allowed the behavior of children or even manipulative adults to intrude into my life. This guy wouldn’t have even chosen me because he would’ve known better. Teach kids to not just say, but think and feel…#Iamnottheone 🙅🏽♀️
This
Agree.
When patents don't know that Predators are everywhere your child will get eaten alive!
This young man was testing her from the moment he met her, seeing how eager she'd be with him coming to the beach, how excited the flowers made her, how she brushed off people talk bout you. Her standards esteem was already susceptible with her mother, and I noticed she was over weight... it's Suttle but the grooming/ testing starts the moment you meet someone, keep your self love, esteem, requirements high.
I love this! Your parents raised a badass that cannot be f*cked with ❤💪🏽
The scene where it’s Christmas & they’re opening gifts is really important. Like no matter how horrible the narc treats you, you better be there for every holiday & birthday & get them presents..🤢
Growing up I would see movies or shows like this and always thought to myself, I would never be in that situation. I'm too strong, too independent. It took me 2 years to escape my abuser, I had to flee in the middle of the night with just the clothes on my back and my little dog in a carrier. Move away from the city I grew up in, away from all my family and friends to escape his stalking. He had integrated himself into every part of my life, there was no where left to hide. All my previous attempts failed.I went to a women's shelter out of the city. It can happen to anyone, at any age. There is help out there for you, there is a way out. You are loved, you are worthy, you can break free. ❤
Wow, I am so speechless, I have been with narcissist in my past but don't really put mind to it, I never knew about coercive control type of narcissist, I met someone and this was exactly what happened to me, I almost lost everything including my soul, twas like trying to steal my soul or my essence, I was isolated but I kept fighting with love, what made it worst was the fact that my parent too was a type of narcissist and eventually they both coexist to kinda weigh me down, my advice is don't let anyone change who you are, regardless of the pain or all that I went through cause it made me feel like I was dead or crazy, always believe in love, nothing they can do to take that away from me, I have been angry sometimes for being an empath cause we attract the worst type of people, energy vampires, manipulative people and all types of crazy, I always learn from it though but now definitely I am a proud empath. I will continue to love cause now I am much wiser, although prevention is always better than cure, I really loved her though while she was there for the control and manipulation, love is great lol. One love always. So help me Lord AMEN.
This!!!!! Amen love and light to you
wow so good! the first red flag was him planting insecurity in her and planting himself in her circle so that when she brings stuff up, they can be like wowww hes such a great guy, what do you mean? hes SO nice!
and then her loosing herself bit by bit :( heartbreaking
I so glad i have my father, because I think I avoided a lot of things because of his talks!! 🥰
Yep this is a huge factor ❤ hope you still have a good relationship with your dad
Me too! My dad is the best. So thankful.
My ex’s name is Jake and that was the first emotionally abusive relationship. 😢
He did the same thing.
You live and learn. Thank God you escaped.
Glad you got out, you know what to look out for now. Onwards and upwards. 🤗
Stuff like this is why I love my “craziness”😂😂 Yes I was emotionally neglected as a childhood, I had to live in a world of fantasy to survive, but I always knew what I wanted and deserved because of those fantasies. When the guy stopped providing those fantasies, I dipped. I didn’t catch the manipulation all the time, but manipulators use the same playbook(con men only use cons that work). Once I start noticing I was able to catch the pattern early in men. Through therapy I’ve been getting better at coping with my past and present and using tools to feel my own needs. I feel so sorry for people trapped in these cycles. One thing about it, you have to stop seeing the person as doing you a favor for being in your life. Stop centering the status of your relationship. Another thing I think help me from not going too deep into these relationships is loving my own company. And I never believed love should be hard or hurt, I already experienced that in childhood. Anyway, may this reach someone. You are worthy of love that encourages you to be your best self even if that’s not with them 😊❤❤
❤!
Amazing and powerful, this should be shown to young women starting at about the age 13. To let them know visually what an abusive relationship looks like. Very well done
Honestly we must all use some critical thinking. I think her family and friends really failed her here. Once your friend starts withdrawing and it’s unlike them get curious, ask questions, show up even when they insist you shouldn’t. Her mom dismissing her when she asked if people talk about her, why didn’t she ask where all that was suddenly coming from? Inviting that boy into your house and that’s when the change in your child started and you don’t think to question it? He preyed on her and it’s so common especially for those who have a hard time saying no. Remember NO is a complete sentence, always.
Many friends and parents fail us because they have their own problems to worry about, which is why I prefer to tell people to Love Jesus who loves them and grow in SELF WORTH AND CONFIDENCE AND WHOLENESS ON YOUR OWN.
@@racheloshaksmusic as much as I agree with this it had nothing to do with the video or what I said. I appreciate your opinion nonetheless.
@@kooliecurlz93 if you agree with it, why say that then😂 It’s an addition to your comment. A lot of people don’t have parents. So one must rely on God and their God-given senses and gut-feelings to protect themselves from people with demons set to destroy you. It will help a lot of people who are in the same situation AS THIS VIDEO. Thank you
@@racheloshaksmusic girl shut up! You think everybody has found their way to God or even believe in God? So if they don’t know God it means they should suffer? Yes some people don’t have parents but that wasn’t the case in the video. Some of you people are so insufferable, literal victim blaming but putting God in it. Goodbye.
Many church goers Jesus believers are often preyed on inside and outside church. We can't pray this away. Can combine many principles and psychology with religion but if your pastor preacher is not focusing on this weekly.... you are food for predators.
Although there women who love bomb, I see it mostly from men. In all age ranges from teens to pensioners. Always know your worth, and even if you haven't figured out what happened or what's going on, listen to your gut feeling. Why do you feel down or sad after seeing or talking with them? GET OUT, RUN....DON'T LOOK BACK. STOP ALL INTERACTIONS . You can figure it out later, but not while you're with them.
Omg the actors in this were amazing, it felt so real! Poor Sky, the way she just became a shell of herself at the end…
One word, Triggered! Le sigh....
Good acting & storyline.. The scary part is, this type of abuse can be ever so subtle and hard to detect until you're in too deep. Tip: Create Boundaries and Educate yourself on toxic traits & behaviours. It will help you identify the red flags earlier.
NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! At the first sign of negativity I would have dumped his sorry ass! If you aren't uplifting and encouraging and pushing me towards my goals and dreams I don't need nothing to do with you
So true to life..and you don't even realize what's happening until it's too late. So many young people need to see this 😢
Agreed and agreed 🤙🏼
Soooooo good!! What a sick manipulator. Abusive. Lying. And she's so sweet she couldn't see it. Emotional abuse is so sneaky. I went from a nice figure to putting on weight to almost 100lbs. My unhappiness manifested into overeating. Please, please let friends see who the true "guy" is in your life. Let them spend lots of time around you both. At some point he'll slip up and they can point it out.
Excellent writing/directing/acting!!! Bravo!!! I want to see more
This was a great start to spreading awareness, but still needs some work! I especially love the beginning and how nice he was. Many abusers don't have red flags when you first meat them, they come across to everyone like fantastic good guys. They don't start to overtly abuse someone UNTIL the victim is invested and forms an attachment (and on her part it is a healthy attachment). So I wish the video showed more of the happy moments and how great an abuser can be, which is a crucial aspect. Sadly, I think people without lived experience will watch this video and think "He's clearly obviously such a jerk, why does she stay? There must be something wrong with her for staying with him". This type of victim blaming needs to be eradicated, but it's hard to educate people on anti victim blaming if videos like this aren't painting a more accurate picture. It would have been better had it showed they were happy, connected, and in love, they were for weeks or months before he started with the overt tactics.
Also, I think it's important to point out that most of these abusive examples in the video were overt examples. Instead, I wish they showed more of the subtle micro ways abusers choose to abuse. Like how happy and up beat and sincere an abuser can sound while simultaneously saying a backhanded or sarcastic comment (and of course it's usually "just a joke"), but then can turn around and build you up in ways no one else has. How special they can make you feel, and you'll feel on top of the world, even after abusing you. How they can sometimes cry and come across so genuinely sorry for being mean. How they make you think they are your best friend who knows you so well. How they convince you they love you so much and have your best interest in mind. How good they are at making their argument sound so logical that even your friends, therapist, or family would agree with him, etc.
For example, in the video they could have had the abuser get out of the car and tell the girlfriend "Hey, be careful walking near guys on the street. He was checking you out and was really sketchy, and I don't want anything to happen to you. Next time I'll walk you to your door, I don't want you to be alone". Most people would think he was just being nice and looking out for her because he loves her so much. Then over time he might start with "Hey that guy next to you was a creepy, and I don't want you to get hurt. So you may not want to draw attention to these guys". Then the victim will ask "How am I drawing attention?" (since the abuser is great at getting the victim to interact, which will sometimes be used against the victim, like "Well, you asked" etc), to which he replies "Oh you know, like that lipstick you're wearing. You're just so beautiful, it's no wonder guys will look"... etc. THAT would have been a more accurate and effective depiction of how sneaky these abusers can be.
Anyway, I did appreciate the example of gaslighting when he said she gave him her phone to hold onto. Little things like that (sometimes even more subtly) happen very often.
Also the way the abuser uses fake vulnerability to pull the victim in. They will plead for help, advice and support. They cry and say they are sorry, that they can only change if the victim "believes" in them, when that is really a way to blame the victim later by saying "I would have changed but I felt you didn't believe in me". 🙄
They will tell the victim that they are their saviour and say "you can't leave me,I can't change without you". They make the victim co dependent.
You're right about the subtle ways they con the victim.
Skye is so beautiful, kind, and wonderful, If I had a woman like her I would treat her like a queen.
I have recognised the toxic behaviours in myself. But I have developed intrapersonal skills to manage my relationships. My mother being a narc - I found ways to understand her, distance her and accept her. Narcs do not just occure by accident. If you are mature enough, you can guide them, or at least build the walls against abuse.
I want to say to someone: you DO deserve someone that provides you a safe space. you DO deserve to be loved gently. And I understand that gentleness may not be wanted when you've only been loved rough so much. But I promise you. You are so deserving of this. You don't have to beg the right person to treat you right. Things that I had to beg for, another gave me so early like it wasn't the slightest thing. The right people will see you, see your worth, and love you healthily, not out of using fear tactics. These people who have been in and out of your life, and spoke negative things or curses over you, didn't see your worth. And that's why their opinion isn't relevant over your life, because they didn't even see you in the fullness of who you are. Their words will not have power over your life any longer. Their words do not determine your worth babe. They didn't see you for who you are. And I pray you can begin the process of seeing just how beautiful and worthy and deserving you are. How they see you and think of you is not representative of who you are!
And if you're still in a relationship with someone who is abusive, I want to tell you to be safe, have a support system, and keep a plan of leaving quiet maybe. look for a family justice center near you, and if you have pets one of those centers might have an option for them. Whatever you need to be safe I pray in JESUS' mighty name that you receive it. I noticed that my partner I dated who was manipulative started treating me nicer when once she thought I was leaving which made it harder to follow through with. Do not fear! "Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I pray discernment over you, that you will see who truly has your back and who does not. I pray for a clear vision to see the direction/what steps you need to take in this process. I have come out of so much. I dont even believe it sometimes who I used to be. I read Psalm 91 in the Holy Bible and it brings me peace.
She’s gorgeous. Amazing film.
I didn’t realize he was like this. I never knew what love bombing was but now I do
This really felt so real. These actors are amazing
Thank you to the producers of this and all involved in the acting etc. This was brilliantly done. It was very accelerated because it had to be a short film but that’s exactly what happens.
These types are always so full on in your face from day one. It’s like you have no independence or breathing space with them around. The most dangerous part is how they ingratiate themselves into your family life/personal life and friends. And everyone thinks the abuser is amazing which leads to a greater feeling of isolation.
The scenes at the Christmas gathering were exactly how it is.
Best of all, I thought there’d be a resolution but there was none. And that’s exactly how it is. That resolution may come MANY years down the line but for many, it doesn’t come.
A fantastic resource!
Very beautiful work with filming and a wonderful message to send out to those who think they have found love. I love the steps that was in each scene to sort of send the message to get out before it's too late
I will share this film with my Daughter's and Grandchildren.
The controlling behaviour was portrayed really well. However, the love bombing wasnt and should have been shown longer.
The love bombing is what gets you to this stage, where you are with someone like this. It is full on but doesnt happen that quick.
My ex love bombed me for over a year to make sure I had strong feelings for him, before displaying any of this controlling behavior. He was manipulative, but during the love bombing I could not see that. He woukd spoil me with lots of time, affection, gifts and attention. That is love bombing!
I was love bombed for 4 years. He did so much damage to my self esteem. Which was awful to begin with. Abused as a child. No father, single mother. My mom died suddenly while I was with this man. And he treated me even more terribly. But I couldn't bring myself to leave. A year after my mom died. He claimed I cheated on him and it couldn't work. So he left. I was devastated. Come to find out later, he cheated on me. And lots of years later, reflecting on it all. I realized him leaving was the best thing for me. I am married, but still suffer from that trauma to this day.
You're so strong ❤
coercion and control are used by some people to minimize their own anxiety, without them realizing how/why it's wrong to do so or how to do things differently and still get the result they ultimately really want: secure attachment. someone needs to correct them, either from within inside the relationship or from outside
This is so sad,
Loneliness in one and the other gets lost in another one.