After a whirlwind love bomb, abrupt devaluation and silent treatment 3 months later. That tortured me inwardly, outwardly I continue to sing and perform happily on stage because I let it go. His hoovers - failed. His wanting to take me to my favourite places - failed His birthday invite - failed. His triangulation effort with my brother & friend - failed His fake apology - failed. His seeing me again - failed. His phone calls - failed Everything in his toolbox against me failed. Because I instinctively knew he didn’t want to see me doing well. And I am not going to open myself up to any more hurt and pain. Concentrated on my singing career which I absolutely love. You don’t need them guys and NO CONTACT is the way to go. I’m so much happier & free now.
@@BenPalmer3000 yours must not be a narcopath. Mine never blamed me for anything. Some of these types are very insidious. Just run and don’t look back. They will try their best to ruin you to no avail.👈🏻
@@BenPalmer3000 yes must people with ASPD have NPD. Not everyone with NPD have ASPD. Psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made. Narcopaths are when they have both NPD & ASPD. Neither can be fixed, their is no cure. They justify in their head what they are doing is right with no limit of coats. Just leave and don’t look back.👈🏻
I just can not comprehend how my narc ex honestly thought I would stay and accept that abuse forever. After 13 years of every abuse known to man, more second chances than a mathematician can count, breaking every promise he made, not touching me in years, and not even pretending to care anymore, he is still in absolute shock that I actually left. How could he have expected anything else. Does he think I was happy? Do they not realize every time they hurt you, you stop caring a little more. Until eventually, there’s just nothing left?
They have no empathy so they can’t relate to how you’re feeling and really don’t care. You’re just there.. until you’re not. And then the only thing they’re worried about is that they lost their main source of supply. Also they don’t have any sense of the cumulative effect their behaviour has on others. They can treat you like utter crap one day and the next day the slate is wiped clean and it’s back to “normal” again. It’s like Groundhog Day! I agree though, it’s so hard to come to terms with.
They think they have caused enough damage that you will never leave my ex wife after a shouting match admitted I stress you out so all your attention is on me and your eyes never focus on another women they want to completely drain you and make you focus on them forget about you and all the other wonderful people out there who would be a great march for you they think they own you and never want you to dare leave
I first met my ex narc nearly 20yrs ago. We dated briefly after the suicide of my partner. We reconnected many years later & had a 4yr relationship. He knew exactly what trauma I had been through and used that knowledge of who I am and what I had experienced, to manipulate me throughout the entire relationship. It took me a long time to wake up & realize what was happening. I was in a trauma bond with this man. I was in love with the mask & he was there to seek revenge. I've been no contact for over 6 months now. The revelations have been painful to process, but Im doing it. I'm thankful for weekly therapy. Thank you for another excellent video, Joe 💫
Your ex narc weaponized against you what you held dear. I’ve experienced this past year also. And am removing it from my life now. It’s just awful I hope you move forward gaining wisdom and strength
I had a narc boyfriend, who had manipulated his way into moving in with me, asked why don't you want to marry me? I said, you make my life miserable and I was a happier person before I met you. I had to get law enforcement to get him out of my house. He was a deputy. Imagine that. Narcissist's have no self respect.
Nothing hurts more and makes you feel so lost than when you feel the need to have to cut people you deeply love out of your life. My own sister for example had slept with a cousin’s husband and slept with my ex husband and just used people for support. Lie after lie after lie… Forget the fact that I paid for her apartment and helped to try to get her on her feet because of her kids. I even gave her a car flat out since it was clear she was not going to be able to make payments. It just got to be too much after I had a heart attack. But I am sure in her mind I am the bad guy in all of it. I never really expected anything from her except a relationship. She was my sister… How do you ever trust someone like that again?
kerimorgan6665 What a sickening human being You don’t deserve that treatment I identify with what you described as I had 2 sisters doing something similar and they will continue to do that. One of mine died and even as she was deteriorating in the hospital she continued to try and throw me under the bus. You are a beautiful person. I truly hope the self serving people in your comment are out of your life because you certainly deserve better.
@@BeTheLight624 yes she is not in my life anymore the last we spoke I basically told her I just couldn’t handle the stress anymore. I was less than polite about it. I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your sister. As much as we may hate the behavior that doesn’t change that deep feeling of loss. It’s still painful. I pray that you have found peace and wish you nothing but love and happiness.
Though he disregarded me for standing up to his toxic reactive abuse. I am glad he did, he made me feel like I was the problem to find out thru therapy it was him the whole time. It is taking time but I am healing knowing his abuse and manipulation will no longer be a part of mine and my daughter’s life. Writing him off in my life is the best decision I have ever made. Just wish he never strung me along or used me the way he did. I wish all the best to everyone who is getting thru these healing journeys
Hi And Thank You For Sharing After Being Recently Discarded Cruelly I Finally Found The Courage To Stop All Contact. Narcissistic Abuse /Personality Disorder Is The Worse Abuse Ever.. Saving My Life Was Going No Contact.
I always daydream or fall asleep during these videos. Joe talks like a hypnotist. At least he could wake me up at the end by snapping his fingers. I think he ought to practice his angry voice. Most of the other people who are doing videos on this topic act angry. As someone with attention deficit, I realize that I am more effected by Joe's hypnosis than most people.
Walked away a few months ago, but recently this person has entered my life again via dreams, so I spent a few days in thought, prayers, hindsight. Then I decided to to research more about her, and found out that almost everything ( initially I suspected only 50/50 ) was a lie. Within this context finding out the truth is as good a closure I needed, ironically )
Excellent! Thank you the priceless information, thoughts, observations shared here that have aided in my healing and understanding of the narc abuse perpetrated upon me.
I received the Easter Hoover or what I would say a message gave me panick...and stupid me sent him a message back no I feel like a fool and find myself in pain again.
Is empaths are only jealous of how shallow they are. We are tired of how deep we are. That’s why they sweep us up into their false reality. It’s because ours is false as well. Human. Puny. Human.
Can you make a video of the mild adaptive traits because you often mentioned that the narcissist seems to get away with horrible behaviors when they meet someone with maladaptive traits who has a lot of healing to do themselves 😢
It wasn’t real relationship for I wanted love and protection but he did feel the same way he had anger issues I wasn’t no angel but I didn’t deserve to be treated wrong he’s married I don’t care get emails from him
I like the video and words but.... everyone has issues.... everyone had baggage.... i get it that we shouldn't put up with certain behaviors but at this point we will all end up alone. I feel like no one has any resilience and everyone uses excuses like this to get away from someone who genuinely loves a partner..... i feel that my ex has BPD and i get out but fuck man.... i miss her.... so much I'm willing to work through things but i feel that she is gone from my life. And it hurts cause i never would have abandoned her like she abandoned me.
It’s better to be alone than in bad company. You should get a dog and give up on trying to get love from another person. I’m old enough now that I think it’s mainly men who need someone exclusively caring for them, it seems like women can find it in community and in each other much easier without needing to be focused on by another person as if they’re two souls who understand each other on an island. And a dog does that level of loyalty best. They really are man’s best friend.
After a whirlwind love bomb, abrupt devaluation and silent treatment 3 months later.
That tortured me inwardly, outwardly I continue to sing and perform happily on stage because I let it go.
His hoovers - failed. His wanting to take me to my favourite places - failed
His birthday invite - failed. His triangulation effort with my brother & friend - failed
His fake apology - failed. His seeing me again - failed. His phone calls - failed
Everything in his toolbox against me failed. Because I instinctively knew he didn’t want to see me doing well. And I am not going to open myself up to any more hurt and pain. Concentrated on my singing career which I absolutely love. You don’t need them guys and NO CONTACT is the way to go. I’m so much happier & free now.
Same
They can’t acknowledge that they’ve made you feel bad 🎯
It’s mystifying. They tell you all the ways you’ve hurt them and demand apologies . They never give what they ask for.
The easiest way of putting that is they can dish it out but can’t take it.
@@BenPalmer3000 yours must not be a narcopath. Mine never blamed me for anything. Some of these types are very insidious. Just run and don’t look back. They will try their best to ruin you to no avail.👈🏻
@@emmamonroe3311 does my description indicate something else like sociopath or psychopath?
@@BenPalmer3000 yes must people with ASPD have NPD. Not everyone with NPD have ASPD. Psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made. Narcopaths are when they have both NPD & ASPD. Neither can be fixed, their is no cure. They justify in their head what they are doing is right with no limit of coats. Just leave and don’t look back.👈🏻
I just can not comprehend how my narc ex honestly thought I would stay and accept that abuse forever. After 13 years of every abuse known to man, more second chances than a mathematician can count, breaking every promise he made, not touching me in years, and not even pretending to care anymore, he is still in absolute shock that I actually left. How could he have expected anything else. Does he think I was happy? Do they not realize every time they hurt you, you stop caring a little more. Until eventually, there’s just nothing left?
They have no empathy so they can’t relate to how you’re feeling and really don’t care. You’re just there.. until you’re not. And then the only thing they’re worried about is that they lost their main source of supply.
Also they don’t have any sense of the cumulative effect their behaviour has on others. They can treat you like utter crap one day and the next day the slate is wiped clean and it’s back to “normal” again. It’s like Groundhog Day!
I agree though, it’s so hard to come to terms with.
They think they have caused enough damage that you will never leave my ex wife after a shouting match admitted I stress you out so all your attention is on me and your eyes never focus on another women they want to completely drain you and make you focus on them forget about you and all the other wonderful people out there who would be a great march for you they think they own you and never want you to dare leave
Fabulous description, thank you. My favorite line when I wanted to get him off my case for a few days was “you’re no different than everyone else”.
As long as you feel like sheet, then narcs don’t have to.
exactly!!! their project all their negative emotions onto you. that's why you slowly start feeling better when you get away from them
Excellent comment! So true!
Narc, I am not a trash 🗑️ receptacle for your negative thoughts and emotions. I DO NOT accept them. I’m giving them back to you.
@@BeTheLight624 Amen❤️✅
I first met my ex narc nearly 20yrs ago. We dated briefly after the suicide of my partner. We reconnected many years later & had a 4yr relationship. He knew exactly what trauma I had been through and used that knowledge of who I am and what I had experienced, to manipulate me throughout the entire relationship. It took me a long time to wake up & realize what was happening. I was in a trauma bond with this man. I was in love with the mask & he was there to seek revenge. I've been no contact for over 6 months now. The revelations have been painful to process, but Im doing it. I'm thankful for weekly therapy. Thank you for another excellent video, Joe 💫
The ex narc…
Your ex narc weaponized against you what you held dear.
I’ve experienced this past year also. And am removing it from my life now.
It’s just awful
I hope you move forward gaining wisdom and strength
@@comeon_man Thank you. Sending you strength. I'm still working through the trauma, but life without the narc has become full of color again 💖
I had a narc boyfriend, who had manipulated his way into moving in with me, asked why don't you want to marry me? I said, you make my life miserable and I was a happier person before I met you. I had to get law enforcement to get him out of my house. He was a deputy. Imagine that. Narcissist's have no self respect.
Nothing hurts more and makes you feel so lost than when you feel the need to have to cut people you deeply love out of your life. My own sister for example had slept with a cousin’s husband and slept with my ex husband and just used people for support. Lie after lie after lie… Forget the fact that I paid for her apartment and helped to try to get her on her feet because of her kids. I even gave her a car flat out since it was clear she was not going to be able to make payments. It just got to be too much after I had a heart attack. But I am sure in her mind I am the bad guy in all of it. I never really expected anything from her except a relationship. She was my sister… How do you ever trust someone like that again?
kerimorgan6665
What a sickening human being
You don’t deserve that treatment
I identify with what you described as I had 2 sisters doing something similar and they will continue to do that. One of mine died and even as she was deteriorating in the hospital she continued to try and throw me under the bus. You are a beautiful person. I truly hope the self serving people in your comment are out of your life because you certainly deserve better.
@@BeTheLight624 yes she is not in my life anymore the last we spoke I basically told her I just couldn’t handle the stress anymore. I was less than polite about it. I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your sister. As much as we may hate the behavior that doesn’t change that deep feeling of loss. It’s still painful. I pray that you have found peace and wish you nothing but love and happiness.
I have been no contact almost a year then Friday I get a text picture of me and him my reaction was 🤫my silence speaks for me
. . . and BTW, your visuals are often stunning, delightful and comforting.
Thanks, Joe. Your YT podcasts are astute and have helped me a lot to deal with this situation in my life. I'm very grateful to you.
Though he disregarded me for standing up to his toxic reactive abuse. I am glad he did, he made me feel like I was the problem to find out thru therapy it was him the whole time. It is taking time but I am healing knowing his abuse and manipulation will no longer be a part of mine and my daughter’s life. Writing him off in my life is the best decision I have ever made. Just wish he never strung me along or used me the way he did.
I wish all the best to everyone who is getting thru these healing journeys
Hi And Thank You For Sharing After Being Recently Discarded Cruelly
I Finally Found The Courage To Stop All Contact. Narcissistic Abuse /Personality Disorder Is The Worse Abuse Ever..
Saving My Life Was Going No Contact.
Surprise !!! Joe is back !!! We sure missed you !!! Thank you for finding time for us !!! 🤗❤
I always daydream or fall asleep during these videos. Joe talks like a hypnotist. At least he could wake me up at the end by snapping his fingers. I think he ought to practice his angry voice. Most of the other people who are doing videos on this topic act angry. As someone with attention deficit, I realize that I am more effected by Joe's hypnosis than most people.
A real soft spoken man..
same!!
I wouldn’t want to hear the angry voice 🥺… I much prefer the softer side.
@@kerimorgan6665 He wouldn't have to go all Batman with it.
You are wise
This is making me feel safe
Thankyou lovely Joe 🤗 on point as always 🙏🏻❤️❤️
Great work, Joe! 😊
Walked away a few months ago, but recently this person has entered my life again via dreams, so I spent a few days in thought, prayers, hindsight.
Then I decided to to research more about her, and found out that almost everything ( initially I suspected only 50/50 )
was a lie.
Within this context finding out the truth is as good a closure I needed, ironically )
Excellent! Thank you the priceless information, thoughts, observations shared here that have aided in my healing and understanding of the narc abuse perpetrated upon me.
I received the Easter Hoover or what I would say a message gave me panick...and stupid me sent him a message back no I feel like a fool and find myself in pain again.
Is empaths are only jealous of how shallow they are. We are tired of how deep we are. That’s why they sweep us up into their false reality. It’s because ours is false as well. Human. Puny. Human.
I finally figured it out! Joe's voice is the exact same as my husbands (past) partner, Cooper.
❤
🌟 Totally. Thanks, Joe! 😊
Your insight into this subject is excellent and very informative. Thankyou.
After my ex bashed my head in and dislocated my jaw he turned to me n said that he treated me quite well! Wtfuck
Ty 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶
this is the topic i really wanted answers to since i been no contact with my ex narc and father who is a narc
🙏💙
Left him alone in 2020 year he was violent angry 😡 rode pass where I live had people call my phone became friends with a person I knew
Can you make a video of the mild adaptive traits because you often mentioned that the narcissist seems to get away with horrible behaviors when they meet someone with maladaptive traits who has a lot of healing to do themselves 😢
💫Gm Joe Nolalower9Ward ⚜️💃🏽
10:36 10:37
It wasn’t real relationship for I wanted love and protection but he did feel the same way he had anger issues I wasn’t no angel but I didn’t deserve to be treated wrong he’s married I don’t care get emails from him
I like the video and words but.... everyone has issues.... everyone had baggage.... i get it that we shouldn't put up with certain behaviors but at this point we will all end up alone. I feel like no one has any resilience and everyone uses excuses like this to get away from someone who genuinely loves a partner..... i feel that my ex has BPD and i get out but fuck man.... i miss her.... so much I'm willing to work through things but i feel that she is gone from my life. And it hurts cause i never would have abandoned her like she abandoned me.
A narcissist has no ability to love. There’s nothing to work out with one.
It’s better to be alone than in bad company. You should get a dog and give up on trying to get love from another person. I’m old enough now that I think it’s mainly men who need someone exclusively caring for them, it seems like women can find it in community and in each other much easier without needing to be focused on by another person as if they’re two souls who understand each other on an island. And a dog does that level of loyalty best. They really are man’s best friend.
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