I think you hit them all. A safe place, respect, BOUNDARIES... BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES... appreciation, patience which I never thought of but men usually have a learning curve in love so this makes sense. I think men need to know we like them, they need attention, touch and flirtation... Maybe I'm wrong. Your thoughts?
This is a very interesting video... but I'm very confused about the boundaries/feedback thing, because it really feels like we have to "be their moms", and "teach them" how to be better partners.. But us, on the other hand, seem to have to be "the finished product" with all the benefits for the guy ready to enjoy. I had to put a LOT of work on myself, my emotions and my empathy... and to be honest I never received that amount of consideration and patience than the average guy receives during a growing period 🤔
1. Pride (are you proud of him?) 2. Belief (belief in the man) 3. Emotional safety (feeling emotionally safe, includes us showing our emotions) 4. Appreciation (no expectations (leads to appreciation)) 5. Patience (go slowly in conversations) 6. Feedback and boundaries (use feelings when giving feedback (I feel sad that e.g.)
My boyfriend is graduating from police academy in a few weeks. It’s been a rough 6 months of training (3 months locked in on weekends too). I tell him as often as I can how proud I am of him for what he’s doing. I specifically tell him how much I believe in his abilities to succeed.
"Your feelings cannot be debated." lmao clearly you haven't met my toxic ex xD I told him that something he did made me feel hurt and disappointed and then tried to set a healthy boundary... aaaand then he proceeded to deny, self-victimize, and gaslight for like three hours
So sorry to hear that that happened to you. I've been gaslighted out of my feelings too by my dad and other people over my life telling me I'm too sensitive, so now I only debate facts.
I completely agree that men, (and I would say to some degree anyone) needs the things you mentioned, in a relationship. Yet at the same time if feels unfair that as a woman I've been bullied out of my emotions by people telling me I'm too sensitive and blaming women for being too emotional. I think we all need to learn to feel more safe with expressing our emotions, regardless of gender. I don't think it's fair to label genders in relationships based on who is more emotionally evolved, even though women often are better emotionally and socially equipped. Emotionally competent men don't become women, when they're more emotionally evolved than their partner. Implying that just makes it harder for men to evolve emotionally, as if it ruined their masculinity. Anyway, great video about responsibilities in hetero relationships! I notice I still have work to do :)
"Expectations are the death of gratitude". Brilliant. Bravo for another incredibly insightful video. Just when we thought you couldn't possibly be any more brilliant, bang, you hit the nail on the head, clearly and concisely. The distinction between debating impressions vs. actual specific feelings is so important & so spot on! You're leaving all the other dating coaches behind in the dust! 😉Thanks, Mark. Hugs from Paris, France
I feel like these needs are ones that women need in a relationship too and in any type of relationship. A mutual respect for ones needs within a relationship.
I used to do the “I feel” sentences with my ex husband and he would tell me I wasn’t feeling that way and was lying. He found a way to debate that…but that’s why he’s an ex!
Lol my ex was the same! He would try to tell me what I think/ feel/ want/ etc all the freaking time. When I explained to him "here's what I actually think/ feel/ want & here's why what you're saying makes no sense", he'd try to argue with me & call me manipulative 😂 Eventually, I realized he was just projecting his mommy issues instead of dealing with them himself or standing up to her.
I have this man who is very emotionally safe, vulnerable and he can able to express himself with me and I love to listen to him and appreciate him. And I felt safe with him too and I can express myself with him too. I established boundaries with him and he respected me. He told me if he wants to get one stand woman for bed is easy for him but he doesn't want, he wants someone serious and he likes. And even the plan something for us to see each other in the future when I go back to my country. He is longing to see me and be with me. I like him but I need to control my emotion so that I will not be too much attached to him. He also mentioned that he likes my confidence.
Thank you, Mark! I'm thinking a separate video on expectations vs standards would be very helpful! And I'm a bit confused about your last suggestion on using feelings vs logic. Aren't we taught that men use logic much more than feelings?? I think that would also be an informative topic for another video too.
I don't know if speaking about feelings does make any sense. When I did it, it didn't work. The answer I got was: "you shouldn't feel sad as it was not my intention to make you sad. Your feelings are your responsibility, you choose what you feel". How am I supposed to deal with that kind of answer? I didn't know what to say, didn't expect that
I don’t know if I’ve been in toxic relationships or if have a problem with explaining myself, but when I talk about my feelings, #1 : I feel so weak and #2 : they tell me « you’re too sensitive » and they don’t know how to change their behavior. Like it’s too strong for them (except my 1st partner)
This is GOLD! Funny thing, this video is the answer to some questions I've been having about my relationship and now I know how to proceed. Thank you!!
Very enlightening! Thank you for your insights, Mark. You answered questions I didn't even know I had! I honestly feel I can be a better partner now. Job well done!
Great video once again! This makes soo much sense. Building your partner up also builds up you. Especially in the eyes of your partner. I've done these and see what a difference it makes. I think high value women and men do this for each other. Although I do believe women are better at it lol Thanks Mark 😊
Litterally what I needed to hear today. I didn't have to search this content as it landed on my lap today! I've been seeing this guy now for almost two months. I've noticed a slight change in behavior, ive pulled back a bit from seeing him. And plan on having a chat with him in a couple days and lay some standards and clarify things. Thanks for the confirmation, especially #6!
Thanks, Mark, most helpful! My one comment would be around feedback using feelings. There are people (not just men) who would try to debate your feelings, and try to tell you that your feelings are “wrong”, that you “shouldn’t feel that way”. I would suggest, being a romantic or any other type of relationship, to strongly consider ending the relationship. In my humble opinion, this is an indication of manipulative/ narcissistic behaviour and not a good indicator for a healthy relationship. My “thought” for the day 😊
Mark you are one of the smartest dating coaches online so I would like to have your thoughts on the last part.. always respond with feelings. Dr ramani who specialises on narcissists say this is very dangerous with narcissists. I am engaged to a mid range narcissist. Enough qualities to continue being with him but he just cannot understand feelings n understand when I'm sad. He will most likely say u shouldn't b sad there's no reason and start a logical debate. Greateful if you could study the question in a future video.
The one thing I feel like I need a more of is patience! 😢😅 it’s soo hard to keep patient in all situations having such a stressful busy life that I have a the moment. But this is temporarily. Once I finish college I’ll hopefully get more relaxed and less impatient again
Hi Mark, thank you for interesting content. I have a question- why would I be in the first place interested in a guy who is 6 months in the relationship still on dating apps and why should I be correcting him? I think his behavior in this case is clearly very unsexy and this makes me feel disappointed and as a consequence I would loose interest in him. I think if he is serious about the thing going on with me dating apps would be even not an option for him. Should I think I am exaggerating?
I believe this is one of your best content creation. Could absolutly relate and understand the point. And the standard and expectation concept: Great! You once almost lost me when talking about a sex preference in another video, but it triggered me because in my experience it's often used to dominate & making us feeling shit. Also within my girls. So that was kind of hard to process. So anyways, that's why this kind of content has made me come back and back again ;) But definitely this is one of my fav. Thank you, Mark
Thank you so much!! I too love the idea of no expectations and form boundaries in discussions of feelings. I feel that I can communicate better with my husband now. Thanks again!! *Natasha Dudley Vause
I think these apply for both sexes tbh. Expectations put ppl into a box of "how can they serve me?" The way I see it, we should allow ppl the space to decide what type of box they fit into themselves instead of dictating it for them. Expectations also create a lot of room for projections & placing our reliance or satisfaction on other's shoulders. That's not deserved & not healthy for anyone. Guys, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on this next bit... One thing I've found that ties into the last point is they can get defensive if the phrasing is "responsibility/ accountability charged"... IE "we have a problem that you need to fix". For example, using the word "enough" seems huge as it points to a lacking which they can & will take personally. Not only owning your own feelings, but phrasing it from a glass-half-full approach softens the blow & makes transitioning into problem-solving a lot easier. "We don't spend enough time together" vs "I really enjoyed when we use to do -Y-. What do you think about setting aside some time for that again soon?" or "I feel like we seem to be spending less time together & I miss your company. You want to do -Y- this weekend?" "We don't have enough money for that" vs "I was thinking we could save up some extra money for -X-. What do you think?", "maybe it would be best to go over the budget together before we make that purchase." How you set the stage with a guy can make all the difference between automatic defensiveness vs receptivity & open communication.
Narcissist don’t like the term “My feelings” . . . If they verbally or emotionally become abusive or gaslight you. Please do yourself a big favor and run far far far away!
I love this video but sometimes I just think, why do we have to "train" men. Why can't men take responsibility for themselves? Why do heterosexual relationships seem to require so much more work from the women...
Men put in so much work that goes unnoticed. All articles out there are about how to praise women, how to handle women, how to validate women, how to please women. And men get blamed for everything. A woman isn't pleased in bed, the guy is responsible for her pleasure. A guy doesn't cum in bed, he is responsible for his own pleasure. This is a rare article that actually talks about men's needs because society doesn't give a shit what men feel or what they're going through.
@@zkart8038 definitely didn't mean to imply there aren't men out there making an effort. It just hasn't been my experience and was just reflecting on that. I just seem to see a lot of, how to enforce boundaries or how to say or do certain things and sometimes it just feels like a lot of work from one side that often isn't reciprocated. But again, I'm only going from my own experience that it has been split this way.
@@laceybrown4413your experience is very valid. But I'm talking how society generally doesn't give two crap about men..and that gets carried in relationships. The expectation of men to be providers by the same people who hate gender roles is the worst one. Providing in itself is a gender role but it's such an acceptable expectation that when dudes work their lives away for it, it doesn't even count as a contribution to the partnership. Men aren't vulnerable to their female partners because a lot of women usually bring that up against him later in arguments. But then again those men's experience doesn't equate the whole population just like yours. Maybe people need to pick better partners?
@@zkart8038 I definitely agree that men should feel less pressure to provide for the relationship and if they do it should absolutely be respected as a valuable contribution. I guess I overlooked this as a woman who has their own career and would never want or expect a man to provide for me. Men should be allowed to be vulnerable absolutely, that helps everyone in the long run because more emotionally aware men means less anger issues / violent outbursts and abuse. There's a lot of injustices I could think of from my specific female perspective but I guess it's unhelpful to play the whole "who has it worse" game and just accept that allowances and improvement could be made on both sides in general 🤔 nobody is perfect.
Mark i really like your content and videos but I am not agreed with this video. I think pride and emotional safety must be not provided by woman. This things are really individual, every person should has it their own. I think men should also proud of themselves without women approval. If someone's self esteem and emotional intelligence is just depend on me, i don't think this would work out. I cannot be everything for a person. Maybe I am missing your point but this is how I see things. 🙋🏽♀️
I think he's talking about when it comes to being in a relationship specifically, not from the standpoint of someone who is single, and building upon these factors.
Hey Mark, I recently ended up breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I thought he didn't have values that did not align with mine. It has been two weeks and I realized I really was not acting in alignment with my own values and broke up with him out of anger and fear that we would end up like my parents. I condemned him for his beliefs and broke up with him when he was being vulnerable with me. I want him back but he doesn't want anything to do with me, he says he wants to be on his own right now and that he doesn't see any fix to this. What can I do? I think I just lost the love of my life all because of an awful and quickly made mistake. I want him back and I want our relationship to be stronger than it was, but I can't do that if he won't talk to me.
Hey girl, it's been 4months ago. I hope you got him back, but if you haven't it's okay he wasn't yours. Masculine men hate to be chased and l hope you worked on yourself than going after him.
How do we, "make a man feel emotionally safe"? I try to encourage my guy that it's OK to be vulnerable, to show his feelings, that it's OK to cry ('cause otherwise, we crack, if we don't cry, at least once in awhile)... Not sure I know what you mean here, Mark... can you give some examples, please? Thank you!
Anne, he will feel emotionally safe when you don’t criticize, judge, talk too much, emasculate, cut him off, laugh at him, etc. Stay soft, sweet and kind, and he’ll open up.
Cashmere, by always seeing the good, believing he’s on your side, not attacking you, realizing that men protect, provide and profess to show their love for us. If he has disappointed you, work on the healing. If he has betrayed you, then walk away. Life is too short to show a man how to love you correctly. They know what they do, sometimes they do them because they’re too coward to tell us the truth. They misbehave, so we walk out. They’re smart. They want the easy way out. They won’t debate or engage in conflict unless they see themselves as the winner. Aloha from Honolulu, Hawaii. 🌺
I think men that are in relationships should know by themselves not to go on dating apps. Why should women tell them that’s not ok? Also; men can validate themselves. Grow up. We’re not your mothers! 🤨
And men shouldn't be "providers" or "take care of women" since they're not children. Too many people pick and selectively choose when gender roles are convenient.
The image of men created in this video is narrow and one-sided. Never trust someone saying: "You need to do these X things to succed" to random people on YT.
Heya Con, thanks for writing in. I understand where you're coming from. I'm sure there's a lot of channels on here teaching men how to do those. It's just that my channel is geared towards women who want to understand men better. x
Can you think of any others to add to this list..? Let me know in the comments!
Do a Collab with Dr. Ramani on narcissists on the expressing feelings part
I think you hit them all. A safe place, respect, BOUNDARIES... BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES... appreciation, patience which I never thought of but men usually have a learning curve in love so this makes sense. I think men need to know we like them, they need attention, touch and flirtation... Maybe I'm wrong. Your thoughts?
You got them all!
This is a very interesting video... but I'm very confused about the boundaries/feedback thing, because it really feels like we have to "be their moms", and "teach them" how to be better partners..
But us, on the other hand, seem to have to be "the finished product" with all the benefits for the guy ready to enjoy.
I had to put a LOT of work on myself, my emotions and my empathy... and to be honest I never received that amount of consideration and patience than the average guy receives during a growing period 🤔
1) Your pride!
2) Your BELIEF in us
3) Emotional SAFETY
4) Your appreciation
5) Your patience
6) Your feedback and boundries
Thank you . You’re very kind
1. Pride (are you proud of him?)
2. Belief (belief in the man)
3. Emotional safety (feeling emotionally safe, includes us showing our emotions)
4. Appreciation (no expectations (leads to appreciation))
5. Patience (go slowly in conversations)
6. Feedback and boundaries (use feelings when giving feedback (I feel sad that e.g.)
Thanks for this, Kate! x
My boyfriend is graduating from police academy in a few weeks. It’s been a rough 6 months of training (3 months locked in on weekends too). I tell him as often as I can how proud I am of him for what he’s doing. I specifically tell him how much I believe in his abilities to succeed.
Watch Out For His Toes ---
He'll Use That Excuse To Protect The Hoes ------
My Condolences ......... 🗡️
"Your feelings cannot be debated." lmao clearly you haven't met my toxic ex xD I told him that something he did made me feel hurt and disappointed and then tried to set a healthy boundary... aaaand then he proceeded to deny, self-victimize, and gaslight for like three hours
So sorry to hear that that happened to you. I've been gaslighted out of my feelings too by my dad and other people over my life telling me I'm too sensitive, so now I only debate facts.
I completely agree that men, (and I would say to some degree anyone) needs the things you mentioned, in a relationship. Yet at the same time if feels unfair that as a woman I've been bullied out of my emotions by people telling me I'm too sensitive and blaming women for being too emotional. I think we all need to learn to feel more safe with expressing our emotions, regardless of gender.
I don't think it's fair to label genders in relationships based on who is more emotionally evolved, even though women often are better emotionally and socially equipped.
Emotionally competent men don't become women, when they're more emotionally evolved than their partner. Implying that just makes it harder for men to evolve emotionally, as if it ruined their masculinity.
Anyway, great video about responsibilities in hetero relationships! I notice I still have work to do :)
"Expectations are the death of gratitude". Brilliant. Bravo for another incredibly insightful video. Just when we thought you couldn't possibly be any more brilliant, bang, you hit the nail on the head, clearly and concisely. The distinction between debating impressions vs. actual specific feelings is so important & so spot on! You're leaving all the other dating coaches behind in the dust! 😉Thanks, Mark. Hugs from Paris, France
Awww that's a lovely comment, Franchi. Thanks a lot! Glad you liked the video. x
I had no clue that when talking to the man I need to communicate in feelings bc he can't debate that 🤦♀️
This is really great. I love that no expectations concept and giving feedback in the form of feelings. The examples are very clear. Thank you Mark!
Glad to know that, Raisa. Thanks for watching! 🙏
Arent these just things all human beings need from each other?
Feelings cannot be debated. 100% true.
I think this is the 1 useful phrase in this video.
I feel like these needs are ones that women need in a relationship too and in any type of relationship. A mutual respect for ones needs within a relationship.
Agreed! x
I used to do the “I feel” sentences with my ex husband and he would tell me I wasn’t feeling that way and was lying. He found a way to debate that…but that’s why he’s an ex!
I know of someone who can help you get your ex back
Message him on Whats app
✝️ 2348140126449🇳🇬🇳🇬⏭️⏭️❤️❤️❤️
Lol my ex was the same! He would try to tell me what I think/ feel/ want/ etc all the freaking time. When I explained to him "here's what I actually think/ feel/ want & here's why what you're saying makes no sense", he'd try to argue with me & call me manipulative 😂
Eventually, I realized he was just projecting his mommy issues instead of dealing with them himself or standing up to her.
I have this man who is very emotionally safe, vulnerable and he can able to express himself with me and I love to listen to him and appreciate him. And I felt safe with him too and I can express myself with him too. I established boundaries with him and he respected me. He told me if he wants to get one stand woman for bed is easy for him but he doesn't want, he wants someone serious and he likes. And even the plan something for us to see each other in the future when I go back to my country. He is longing to see me and be with me.
I like him but I need to control my emotion so that I will not be too much attached to him. He also mentioned that he likes my confidence.
I agree - appreciation and belief in the man in our lives is very important! It helps him to feel sure he's doing the right thing for us.
Thank you, Mark! I'm thinking a separate video on expectations vs standards would be very helpful! And I'm a bit confused about your last suggestion on using feelings vs logic. Aren't we taught that men use logic much more than feelings?? I think that would also be an informative topic for another video too.
Once a guy is happy to meet my needs in a relationship, I'll happily meet his needs too. It's give and give to build a great relationship together.
Omg I love how you put dating coaches on your thumbnails!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don't know if speaking about feelings does make any sense. When I did it, it didn't work. The answer I got was: "you shouldn't feel sad as it was not my intention to make you sad. Your feelings are your responsibility, you choose what you feel". How am I supposed to deal with that kind of answer? I didn't know what to say, didn't expect that
Im my (unprofessional) opinion that was quite a shitty answer. You cannot choose how you feel. It just is.
This is such a great video.
Honest, relatable, and inspiring.
Thank you so much ❤️
Thank you for the lovely comment, The Man Whisperer! x
Great video! Don’t think I ever heard anyone explains standards and expectations this way, so helpful. Thank you x
🙏🙏🙏
I used to think i had to have many expectations, thank you so much for being clear
Greetings from México
Heya Ligia! Glad you got something useful from the video. Thanks for watching! x
6.25 p.m.Tuesday night 2021
I don’t know if I’ve been in toxic relationships or if have a problem with explaining myself, but when I talk about my feelings, #1 : I feel so weak and #2 : they tell me « you’re too sensitive » and they don’t know how to change their behavior. Like it’s too strong for them (except my 1st partner)
#2 is a red flag, Pou. I'm glad you're no longer in such relationships. I appreciate you sharing! x
This is GOLD! Funny thing, this video is the answer to some questions I've been having about my relationship and now I know how to proceed. Thank you!!
Glad this video has been helpful, Love Life! Thanks for watching! x
It is hard to let go of some of my expectations, but its defintely useful to separate these from standards or boundaries.
Very enlightening! Thank you for your insights, Mark. You answered questions I didn't even know I had! I honestly feel I can be a better partner now. Job well done!
This make so much sense! Thank you, I think this video will help me so much in life
Great to hear that, Ashleigh. Thanks for watching! x
Always looking forward for the next video! Thanks Mark!
Awww thank you, Renee! x
Great video once again! This makes soo much sense. Building your partner up also builds up you. Especially in the eyes of your partner.
I've done these and see what a difference it makes. I think high value women and men do this for each other. Although I do believe women are better at it lol
Thanks Mark 😊
Great advice!
the last point was extremely good and new for me. thanks a lot!
Hey Mark !!
I JUST CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH :)
God bless u, high five from Morocco
My pleasure!
Love it being a confident and happy young woman
Thanks!
You share some of the best life knowledge, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listening and learning and lots of ah ha’s😂
That's lovely of you to say, thank you SS! x
You have my attention and thumbs up! Love ❤ your content and clarity on this topic - it's very much appreciated 🙏
I appreciate the comment, Char! Means a lot! x
Great video thank you so much ❤🙏🏽
Litterally what I needed to hear today. I didn't have to search this content as it landed on my lap today!
I've been seeing this guy now for almost two months. I've noticed a slight change in behavior, ive pulled back a bit from seeing him. And plan on having a chat with him in a couple days and lay some standards and clarify things.
Thanks for the confirmation, especially #6!
Glad the video helped, Monika. Thank you for watching! x
Thanks, Mark, most helpful!
My one comment would be around feedback using feelings. There are people (not just men) who would try to debate your feelings, and try to tell you that your feelings are “wrong”, that you “shouldn’t feel that way”. I would suggest, being a romantic or any other type of relationship, to strongly consider ending the relationship. In my humble opinion, this is an indication of manipulative/ narcissistic behaviour and not a good indicator for a healthy relationship.
My “thought” for the day 😊
Hey you are really great at explaining things to us women Thank you Mark Rosenfeld ❣️
Thank you, Asiah! Means a lot! 🙏
This was really impactful for me. I see clearly where I am goj g wrong g in my communication and can fix this immediately :)
Thank you Mark 😊
Mark you are one of the smartest dating coaches online so I would like to have your thoughts on the last part.. always respond with feelings. Dr ramani who specialises on narcissists say this is very dangerous with narcissists. I am engaged to a mid range narcissist. Enough qualities to continue being with him but he just cannot understand feelings n understand when I'm sad. He will most likely say u shouldn't b sad there's no reason and start a logical debate. Greateful if you could study the question in a future video.
Thanks Mark. When I really think about those they make a lot of sense! x
Good one, thank you 💞🥂✨
Thank You for sharing this video it’s put a smile on my face 😊
Or admiration
Extremely helpful. I’d like to apply all of these in my relationship. I would also love to hear more valuable insights on long distance relationship!
The one thing I feel like I need a more of is patience! 😢😅 it’s soo hard to keep patient in all situations having such a stressful busy life that I have a the moment. But this is temporarily. Once I finish college I’ll hopefully get more relaxed and less impatient again
Okay thanks my friend
This was solid advice! That you for the insight!
U know u can put foundation on your neck and arms too....
Great video👍
😂
Hi Mark, thank you for interesting content. I have a question- why would I be in the first place interested in a guy who is 6 months in the relationship still on dating apps and why should I be correcting him? I think his behavior in this case is clearly very unsexy and this makes me feel disappointed and as a consequence I would loose interest in him. I think if he is serious about the thing going on with me dating apps would be even not an option for him. Should I think I am exaggerating?
I think you're absolutely right! Men need to have some common sense of their own.
This is excellent 👌👌👌
I really appreciate your videos. you can help me even tho i am
I think this is the best video Mark has done!
Thank you. You're great
Very insightful Mark. Thanks.
Glad you liked it, Vivian. Thanks for watching! x
Thank You for your lovely advice 👍🤗 I do appreciate them all very Much 🥰👍
Thanks so much, Margareta. Means a lot! x
WOW, this video just changed everything, BIG THANKS!!! 🙏♥️🙏
Glad you got something from the video, Samira. Thanks for watching! x
Thank you Mark!! I’ll watch this several times.
🙏🙏🙏
That last point...! Thanks, Mark
You're welcome, Brumbasse22! And thanks for watching! x
The THUMBNAIL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This was an AMAZING video
😂 thanks for watching, Joy! x
So awesome! L❤️ve this video. Makes sense, quick tips that are very important in a relationship... Thank you and happy holidays 🎄
Glad you enjoyed it, Jamie. Happy Holidays to you as well. 🙏
I so* love the cover photo... genius 👑
Great content, Mark! I love the friendly atmosphere :)
Glad you enjoyed, K. Thanks for watching! x
this is good video idea Mark
Please give example of ‘sharing feelings’ if not ‘I feel like we not…’
I believe this is one of your best content creation. Could absolutly relate and understand the point. And the standard and expectation concept: Great!
You once almost lost me when talking about a sex preference in another video, but it triggered me because in my experience it's often used to dominate & making us feeling shit. Also within my girls. So that was kind of hard to process.
So anyways, that's why this kind of content has made me come back and back again ;) But definitely this is one of my fav.
Thank you, Mark
Sorry that other video made you feel uncomfortable, Marisa, and glad you liked this one. Thanks for being on the channel! x
I love Mark... I mean his content
Thank you so much!! I too love the idea of no expectations and form boundaries in discussions of feelings. I feel that I can communicate better with my husband now. Thanks again!!
*Natasha Dudley Vause
Great to hear that, Natasha! Glad you got something from the video. x
Hi after watching ur video I get a new msg every time could u pls make more videos about married couple thnx
I think these apply for both sexes tbh.
Expectations put ppl into a box of "how can they serve me?" The way I see it, we should allow ppl the space to decide what type of box they fit into themselves instead of dictating it for them. Expectations also create a lot of room for projections & placing our reliance or satisfaction on other's shoulders. That's not deserved & not healthy for anyone.
Guys, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on this next bit...
One thing I've found that ties into the last point is they can get defensive if the phrasing is "responsibility/ accountability charged"... IE "we have a problem that you need to fix". For example, using the word "enough" seems huge as it points to a lacking which they can & will take personally. Not only owning your own feelings, but phrasing it from a glass-half-full approach softens the blow & makes transitioning into problem-solving a lot easier.
"We don't spend enough time together" vs "I really enjoyed when we use to do -Y-. What do you think about setting aside some time for that again soon?" or "I feel like we seem to be spending less time together & I miss your company. You want to do -Y- this weekend?"
"We don't have enough money for that" vs "I was thinking we could save up some extra money for -X-. What do you think?", "maybe it would be best to go over the budget together before we make that purchase."
How you set the stage with a guy can make all the difference between automatic defensiveness vs receptivity & open communication.
Hello everybody
Thank you
Thanks...
Narcissist don’t like the term “My feelings” . . . If they verbally or emotionally become abusive or gaslight you. Please do yourself a big favor and run far far far away!
Great vid Mark 💞 nicely done!
Thank you! 😃
I love this video but sometimes I just think, why do we have to "train" men. Why can't men take responsibility for themselves? Why do heterosexual relationships seem to require so much more work from the women...
So sorry you feel that way, Lacey. Trust me, men feel and think the same. 🙂
Men put in so much work that goes unnoticed. All articles out there are about how to praise women, how to handle women, how to validate women, how to please women. And men get blamed for everything. A woman isn't pleased in bed, the guy is responsible for her pleasure. A guy doesn't cum in bed, he is responsible for his own pleasure.
This is a rare article that actually talks about men's needs because society doesn't give a shit what men feel or what they're going through.
@@zkart8038 definitely didn't mean to imply there aren't men out there making an effort. It just hasn't been my experience and was just reflecting on that. I just seem to see a lot of, how to enforce boundaries or how to say or do certain things and sometimes it just feels like a lot of work from one side that often isn't reciprocated. But again, I'm only going from my own experience that it has been split this way.
@@laceybrown4413your experience is very valid. But I'm talking how society generally doesn't give two crap about men..and that gets carried in relationships. The expectation of men to be providers by the same people who hate gender roles is the worst one. Providing in itself is a gender role but it's such an acceptable expectation that when dudes work their lives away for it, it doesn't even count as a contribution to the partnership. Men aren't vulnerable to their female partners because a lot of women usually bring that up against him later in arguments. But then again those men's experience doesn't equate the whole population just like yours. Maybe people need to pick better partners?
@@zkart8038 I definitely agree that men should feel less pressure to provide for the relationship and if they do it should absolutely be respected as a valuable contribution. I guess I overlooked this as a woman who has their own career and would never want or expect a man to provide for me. Men should be allowed to be vulnerable absolutely, that helps everyone in the long run because more emotionally aware men means less anger issues / violent outbursts and abuse. There's a lot of injustices I could think of from my specific female perspective but I guess it's unhelpful to play the whole "who has it worse" game and just accept that allowances and improvement could be made on both sides in general 🤔 nobody is perfect.
omg thats ALEX
Markkkkk can you please get back to your outdoor settings???? These fake background look so fake
So accurate videos
That thumbnail.. 😎
Great info . High standards low expectations? No way , I prefer to say : I don’t need a man
Mark i really like your content and videos but I am not agreed with this video. I think pride and emotional safety must be not provided by woman. This things are really individual, every person should has it their own. I think men should also proud of themselves without women approval. If someone's self esteem and emotional intelligence is just depend on me, i don't think this would work out. I cannot be everything for a person. Maybe I am missing your point but this is how I see things. 🙋🏽♀️
I think he's talking about when it comes to being in a relationship specifically, not from the standpoint of someone who is single, and building upon these factors.
I believe that it's not about depending on someone to fuel their self esteem or about someone lacking emotional intelligence. That's another topic
Such valuable advice.
🙏🙏🙏
Hey Mark,
I recently ended up breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I thought he didn't have values that did not align with mine. It has been two weeks and I realized I really was not acting in alignment with my own values and broke up with him out of anger and fear that we would end up like my parents. I condemned him for his beliefs and broke up with him when he was being vulnerable with me. I want him back but he doesn't want anything to do with me, he says he wants to be on his own right now and that he doesn't see any fix to this.
What can I do? I think I just lost the love of my life all because of an awful and quickly made mistake. I want him back and I want our relationship to be stronger than it was, but I can't do that if he won't talk to me.
Hey girl, it's been 4months ago. I hope you got him back, but if you haven't it's okay he wasn't yours. Masculine men hate to be chased and l hope you worked on yourself than going after him.
Gr8 Mark.....😍
I see alex @the toxic dating coach I click :)))
Can i lead him into more masculinity , trust, building his life back to a job / driver licence ...without judging him
How do we, "make a man feel emotionally safe"? I try to encourage my guy that it's OK to be vulnerable, to show his feelings, that it's OK to cry ('cause otherwise, we crack, if we don't cry, at least once in awhile)... Not sure I know what you mean here, Mark... can you give some examples, please? Thank you!
Anne, he will feel emotionally safe when you don’t criticize, judge, talk too much, emasculate, cut him off, laugh at him, etc. Stay soft, sweet and kind, and he’ll open up.
Young 65
Dating apps and sites, are already sketchy AF to to me
I wish you could tell us how to feel pride for a man we've married instead of telling us to walk away to find another better suitor.
Cashmere, by always seeing the good, believing he’s on your side, not attacking you, realizing that men protect, provide and profess to show their love for us. If he has disappointed you, work on the healing. If he has betrayed you, then walk away. Life is too short to show a man how to love you correctly. They know what they do, sometimes they do them because they’re too coward to tell us the truth. They misbehave, so we walk out. They’re smart. They want the easy way out. They won’t debate or engage in conflict unless they see themselves as the winner. Aloha from Honolulu, Hawaii. 🌺
I think men that are in relationships should know by themselves not to go on dating apps. Why should women tell them that’s not ok?
Also; men can validate themselves.
Grow up. We’re not your mothers! 🤨
And men shouldn't be "providers" or "take care of women" since they're not children. Too many people pick and selectively choose when gender roles are convenient.
👏🏼👏🏼
The image of men created in this video is narrow and one-sided. Never trust someone saying: "You need to do these X things to succed" to random people on YT.
I'm going to have to buy me another phone this one the volume stop working on these channels sorry to have to say.
Why is it always about what men need ?. What about the women then ?. How to please him, how to behave...
Heya Con, thanks for writing in. I understand where you're coming from. I'm sure there's a lot of channels on here teaching men how to do those. It's just that my channel is geared towards women who want to understand men better. x
Where is the man for me ?
I know of someone who can help you get your ex back
Message him on Whats app
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