Have women had any actual experience with men doing harm to them?
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- čas přidán 9. 09. 2024
- If only there was a way we could find out? 🤔
I don't know how many videos I've made that are literally just "maybe try listening to women"... but I guess we need yet another one.
It's been told to me once that privilege is the ability to not look at things, to not need to engage with them on a regular basis.
This reminds me very much of the ways guys just don't really "need" to see the problems affecting women, even the ones closest to them.
In the town where I live, there was a gay business owner that I worked for who was well known for his Friday night parties. Rumor had it that they were orgies. Let me tell you that was far from the truth. It was more like an 19th century salon where art and literature were discussed over fine food, and no, not everyone who attended was gay. But you know, rumors. Anyway, there was another business owner that I also did some part time office work for, and one day we were talking about Bill's infamous parties. This man said, "I'd really like to go but I'm afraid that if I did, I'd have men coming on to me." I said "Well, now you know what we women have to endure ALL THE TIME. Bill's parties are one of the few places where I feel safe, where I can relax and enjoy the environment without having to worry about fighting off unwanted advances." Now chances are pretty good that if he went to one of these parties, he'd probably be all right, but you never know who or where the predators are. His discomfort was not entirely irrational. I think I may have opened his eyes some.
@@theresemalmberg955 that's awesome. I hope his eyes were opened a little bit as well
Great point!
@@theresemalmberg955 The thing is, he wasn't afraid of a predator - he was afraid of *being hit on*. His sense of himself as a man was so fragile that just being *looked at* by a gay man was that scary to him. How sad is that?
It's very often not a stranger that is harassing, groping, SAing, and worse. Of course women are going to be careful with strangers because if family, friends, coworkers, etc. do that to them, who knows what a stranger could do?
I've stopped sharing my "trauma stories" with men in particular because I feel they are taking notes on what to do to the next adolescent girl. For instance, one guy said that the harasser (it was a groping story from teen years) would be a part of my life forever and lives on in my memories and, the smile on his face as he said it still gives me the creeps.
I am beginning to think that there is a lot of covert grooming going on in the name of sex positivity and sex education. When sex education becomes actual advocacy instead of education, then I have a problem with it. Especially when very young children are involved. There are some things they don't need to know about. Keep in mind some people's motives may not be as pure as they claim to be. True sex education recognizes that everyone is different and everyone has a right to bodily autonomy and that it is more than just ok to say no if that is truly what you don't wish to participate in at the time or with that person. No one should feel pressured to have sex--ever. No one should be shamed for saying no. And I am deeply, deeply suspicious of ANY adult, teacher or not, who feels that they need to take it upon themselves to educate children in things that their parents don't necessarily want them learning about in that way especially when they want to keep parents out of the loop. What are they personally gaining from it? Are they grooming these young people so that they or someone like them can have sexual access to them? When you said that you feel that men are taking notes on what to do to the next adolescent girl, I think you are more right than you realize. There's a movement on to normalize such things, it's called Minor Attracted People. Pay close attention, pay very close attention. It's coming.
@@theresemalmberg955why would educators want to *educate* children about sex - which is a major component of human lifespan, and about which children are naturally curious? That's really suspicious to you, and you assume they must be "groomers" ? How sad. And here's a factoid for you: most child sexual abuse is by fathers, stepfathers, and other male relatives. So relying on what parents want is NOT safe. Also, the majority of parents are horrible uneducated about sex, puberty, and reproduction. They are a big source of misinformation, along with playground peers. And if you think young children don't wonder about sex without adult "grooming", then you've never been on a playground.
Sealioning of the highest order. Im sure the women in his life told him, but he deflected denied and minimised.
OMG how can someone ask this. It must be a 10 year old boy. Because if it was a girl, she would already have experienced by the age of 10.
I love when I find a video like this one, because it is only on the internet that I find men who don't minimize women's bad experiences. It is reassuring.
My male relatives have always told me that "it's not that bad", and I shouldn't complain because things are better than they used to be, and that I am actually safe outdoors, even at night. They don't listen. They don't get that the fear comes from real things that truly happened or almost happened.