My Husband Doesnât Want To Share His Inheritance
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 18. 05. 2024
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I have 4 kids.
Adopted one of them decades ago.
I forgot which one.
What a marvelous thing to say. Bless you.
That's beautiful!
There's a major difference between adoptive parents and step-parents. Kudos to you for your parenting.
Lol! đđđ
@@texan903there is a difference yes, but you can have very good and loving step parents and step children and there should never be a difference made between children.
At 36 this man has no idea what life may have in store for him. The stepdaughter may be the only one to care for him in the end.
Lol great logic đ
Facts
And girls usually are
She is 14 and we know what that is like. Also no one is asking the question of the baby daddy ie her father and what he is providing for his daughter and her legacy. Just saying.
Lies.
If the husband insists on only leaving it to three of the kids and not her daughter, thatâs his choice. Albeit unfortunate. But if I were her, I definitely wouldnât move to the land and build on it. Let the land stay totally separate and they can build a new house on land somewhere else.
That plus also buying back the parts of the land they currently donât own. Those would all be marital assets.
I completely agree with that!
Ramsey did not really answer her question- this comments seem more in line with what she seemed to be asking - ie how to make it work and fit together moving forward the way husband wants the will
I think the husband is a stupid piece of dirt. It sounds like the girl is the scapegoat of the family.
Blended families are a pain in the ass. With a 50% divorce rate, this is all very common. The big conversation about inheritance scenarios should come BEFORE you marry. If youâre not on the same page then stay single.
The 50% rate is not accurate in the way you think it is. It is 50% of all marriages not all people. For example, I have a co worker whose mom has been divorced 8 times. So if she gets grouped with 8 other couples who have never been divorced then the divorce rate along that group with be 50% even though she is the only one who has been divorced. The rate is still way to high, but if you follow a few simple steps including being on the same page with kids money and God you actually have a fairly low chance of getting divorced:)
Blended marriages have a 70% divorce rate.
My mom and her husband have a blended family I have two step Brothers his kids and my sister and I are my mom's kid. But I have a son the only grandson and he's getting everything and they are going over our heads đ
Actually itâs about 68% divorce rate for blended families.
This is a good conversation to have pre-blended marriage because this would make me want to divorce this cold-hearted douche bag.
You better have a will drawn up before you go. Because if you pass before your daughter is old enough to take of herself, that man has made it clear that aint his blood and he aint taking care of her.
she will need more than a will. she need to put things in a trust and make sure her daughter is the beneficiary of that particular item (like money she has in a taxable account). also if she has any paperwork/house that gives her husband the "right of survivorship" he gets to have the remaining say in what happens. this situation sucks
I think itâs more so, if they get a divorce and they never speak to him again. But if the mom passed. I feel the dad may take guardianship of her. Unless she wants to go with the momâs family. Then he may not Leave anything.
I heard a few stories of a man raising a step daughter from a child to a teenager. And then a few months later sdrer a divorce, the step daughter is calling the moms new man , âDadâ, and they forget the man that was there for them for 10+ years.
The daughter might not like the step dad.
They said they'd split the financials. He just wants to keep some land for his sons. Which 30 acres in texas its probably no more than 100k. This is a stupid argument to blow up a family over.
@@dbearden3232 You recorrect about the land value not being much. Ten years ago I inherited 85 acres in far upstate New York. When I sold it, I cleared about $85,000. I am grateful for the money but it certainly is not enough to break up a family for. The Texas 30 acres when split among the boys will only be about $10,000 each. I say let the boys inherit their ancestral land
I wonder how hubby would feel if the wife inherited something and left his first son out.
I would have no problem with that as inheritance is not a marital asset.
Simple, Mary. Heâd feel relieved.
Dave Ramsey would be ok with it heâs a panderer
He would probably throw a hissy fit. The husband is either not aware of his stupidity or he's just a plain a hole for doing that to the step daughter
He would feel ok because it's the right thing to do!
You know whatâs funny, I inherited a Florida lot on a lake when my uncle passed away about 12 years ago. He left it to me because I was the oldest. I felt like my sisters were passed over in not being included in that land so I told the attorney to sell it and split the proceeds equally amongst all of us. If I remember, we each got about $8k. Greed is such a black spot on your soul. I never could have lived a peaceful life unless I shared equally with them.
Beautiful! You know what's important in life. Your uncle clearly entrusted the lot (and whatever you may do with it) to the right person.
I can only imagine this caller's daughter and the feelings of betrayal she will have years from now when her brothers are much wealthier than her for no reason other than the man she thought valued her equally, didn't. It creates some sort of caste system in their family simply because she is not his biological daughter.
I would feel a lot different about my husband and his beliefs and values in general for coming to such a cold-hearted & selfish conclusion.
This isnât âgreedâ. This girl is not his daughter. She has a father. It is her motherâs and her fatherâs job to plan for her inheritance. If they donât work together because they are no longer a romantic couple, that is THEIR failure.
@texasrodeogirl3814
You inferring it would have been greedy for you to keep the land, as your uncle wanted, is crazy. And by you saying that, you're basically accusing the man who gave you a nice inheritance of land, of facilitating greed. Instead of you keeping the land as he wanted, you sold it and now it's GONE. So are the 8K payouts by now. You didn't honor his wishes and now you claim some high moral ground. Meanwhile the value of that land is probably going to keep going up, long after the brat he mistakenly gave the land to has wasted the resources. There's a reason people choose to give a full piece of land to ONE person in the family. So it stays in the family.
Bless you.
â@TheSecondWitness Man people don't understand Generational Wealth. I would have kept that land built on it with my sisters or just held on to it. You could have just added them to the deed as well.
He wants to build the land with marital funds. Daughter deserves a cut.
Even if the man, did so with just his money, it would still be considered martial funds.
Sheâs not his daughter, she is his wifeâs daughter with another man. As a wife and mother, I agree with his standpoint. That land was HIS familyâs legacy - any legacy planning for this daughter needs to be between her mother and father. But I agree that if this caller has put money into the house they are planning on selling, and if sheâll be paying money into the new property - then yes, her money is going to bulk up HIS sonâs legacy. Now they need to talk about making it fair for all the kids.
@@katiejon17Your desire to treat step children differently disgusts me. I was, and still am, treated differently because Iâm the step child. I canât begin to tell you how damaging it is.
But you go on. Iâm sure the daughter will get over it.
@@BlueDauntless Your resentment needs to be brought to your MOTHER and your FATHER. A step-parent is neither. And I never said anything about treating them poorly - but a step-parent is not responsible for doing what your MOTHER and FATHER should do. By blaming your step-parent, you are being cowardly and not going to the two people who actually owe you something - mom and dad.
â@@BlueDauntlessStepchildren are treated differently because they ARE different. Otherwise, they would be biological or adopted. Connect with your blood and see to it that they look after you.
The guy wants the land to remain in the family and have it passed down through his family line but he has to understand thereâs no guarantee his sons wonât just sell up the moment he dies.
It should be part of their will. No outsiders, only growth within the bloodline đ
âS more about leaving a legacy, and itâs not a step-dadâs job to prepare a legacy. This woman needs to bark at the man who impregnated her with her daughter. However, with that said, if this woman is co-owner of their current home (and she may not be), and the profits of its sale (and her income) will be used to create a legacy for all of the children but her daughter, now she has a point. Easy solution is to simply tell her husband she will be taking a portion of the sale of the home and starting an investment for her daughter, and every month a portion of her paycheck will be put into this investment. This man is not responsible for his step-daughterâs inheritance. But the mother needs to lay out the FACTS with her husband instead of calling a radio show.
He also doesn't understand that blood lines don't mean shit.
@@_2315_ then you have gifted them a poison chalice.
My parents have sat in their inheritance that my siblings and me split their property. Itâs untenable. All of us agree the second we inherit it itâs going on the market.
Also, he should be using his funds if the stepdaughter is not being left any land
Don't sell your house and don't build or develop his beloved land. Your daughter won't get anything of your hard earned money. But your stepson will. Just let it be an inheritance and land.
I agree. He can't live out his dream of living on the land without her financial help. I wouldn't invest one dollar in that land if my daughter is not included.
@@Ella-Bella2024 I agree. And donât go live on it. Because if they live on it, she is going to have a strong emotional attachment to the place and it will be devastating to her when they die and she is the only kid who has no right to any of it.
â@Ella-Bella2024 why? Stepdaughter is not a blood relative. Bio dad should be seeing to it that his child is taken care of. I guarantee you that he won't leave anything for his wife's children who are not his.
â@@genxx2724they can buy her out.
Might as well divorce
Dave has a point. This man wants his wifeâs income to position his biological children with land upon the inheritance. However, he forgets he CHOSE to enter a blended family knowing that his step child would be a package deal with his wife.
SO, if you donât want to leave grandmaâs land to her, thatâs fine. However, if youâre going to use your wifeâs income to build a home on property her daughter needs to have some sort of equivalent inheritance left to her.
It would be different if she was a stay at home mom and he made a mill a year. Heâs the bread winner and itâs his land. But he wants to use his wifeâs income to build a dream and then shut her daughter out is wild. Get with a marriage counselor Forsure
The husband makes more. He shoulf just divorce her if she's going to make this more difficult than it needs to be.
â@@Chet_24Hi incel...The husband majes 19k more NOT 50K more
@@Chet_24he has 3 kids with 2 different women. Sounds like quite the catch in the dating pool. He pretty much has zero chance at finding another wife if he decides to break this one off.
@@Chet_24 why is he asking the wife for money then? He could keep his land and work it with HIS money.
@@Chet_24The only one being difficult here seems to be the husband.
If he didn't want her children then he shouldn't have married her. Because if she got an inheritance, he would not like if she said that his sons are not allowed any.
You donât know that.
@@ccubito I do
If the step dad hasn't adopted her, she's still not his. She has another side of the family, not just her mom's.
You have a absolutely no idea what he would think if the situation was reversed lol. You literally made that up to justify your opinion of him. Do better.
@@feedandseed-fl3er I know because human behavior is very predictable. There is a reason why the FBI can find out what a person will even dress like based on predictable human behaviors. Everyone like to think they are special but we are all pretty much the same. That's why companies exploit that and make money off of us. Why do you think credit cards even exists? Logically it don't make sense to buy something you cant afford. But yet emotionally most people do it. Human behavior is very easy to predict once you know what to look for. Of course it takes someone with enough resources and intelligence to know that, something that you obviously are lacking
Jade's point is spot on. They are not in their retirement years, have grown children, and getting married for the second time. That is when you would consider splitting assets differently. But not at this age and stage in life. So Dave is spot on too.
Perhaps in his old age, he will have nobody to care for him and his stepdaughter will refuse to help by saying "Get help from someone who is your bloodline."
He is her step father so she owes him doubly nothing !
The unfairness of this is that he wants to use her money to grow this land. A land her daughter will have no rights to. The sons can have the land, but there's a need of a plan so the daughter is not in disadvantaged.
Her son with him benefits.
Daughters not his repsonsbikity thats what her dad is for.
Yes, that's what I think is so unfair. He wants to sell the family home that he and his wife contributed to so the daughter will be short changed in the whole deal.
â@@Choco-KatTheir 2 kids. Coz they have 4.
But that's still unfair to her daughter. So basically this mother, if she's smart should start saving up an inheritance or trust fund for the daughter alone so that in future she is covered.
@@Tashas_Travels But she can't really do that without her husband's consent.
If I was facing something like this, I would reduce the contributing amount to this land and his dreams and put the difference away for my daughter. I can understand his point, so he would have to understand mine.
Please understand that the smell of beef farts is sometimes a bit pleasant.
@@Kaktus965 Not as much as a busted colostomy bag, but thanks for your well-intended, useful, and relevant comment.
Yo baby-daddy should be looking after your daughter's future. Choose better.
@@csx6910 The child is 14. If that childâs father isnât a part of her life, what should the mother do? Just do nothing for her daughter? Crazy. The mother is still responsible for her daughter whether or not the childâs father is a loser and so she should do something to help setup her daughterâs future. Plus Iâm sure she thought she did choose better this time, yet here she is.
@@chaunie77pay no mind to the troll
My sister adopted 2 children, another sister married a man with two sons, when my parents die, I want those kids who ARE family to get the same as my children.
I donât think he cares about the girl.
These comments make me sad. The number of people who seem to think you shouldn't care for a stepchild as your own is disheartening. Why do you think the stigma of the evil step parent exists?? Because of all of you people. If you're not willing to take your new spouse's children in and love them and care for them as your own, then don't marry that person. Those kids deserve a step parent who will treat them as their own children, not as second best.
I think it's a primal instinct imbedded in us, our blood children are always first. Hypothetically if the house on fire and only time to save one, I guarantee the blood family comes first. I know some wonderful, loving step parents also, they deserve alot of credit.
@@pamforrester844 I agree about the primal instinct, but to an extent. By that logic, adopted children are never seen as equal to blood children in the eyes and hearts of parents. I definitely believe that some people have the ability to love equally, and some don't. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that; you can't force yourself to love. But if you know that you are a person who is not going to be able take a child in and love and care for it as if it were your own birth child, then you should never make the commitment to do so. By marrying someone with kids, you're making that commitment. Those kids have already had their world torn apart when their parents divorced/died, they don't deserve to be treated as second best by you for the rest of their lives as well. It's wrong to put them through that.
Where is the original father?
the very phrase "as your own" shows the point. They are NOT your own. You want people to live a fiction. But most people can't, even if they want to.
@@nikan7704 have you looked into the high rate of adoption failure? It's something like 20%.
âFor our children.â You mean his children..
Four
â@pauljensen4773 Nope, husband is thinking with the thing between his legs, because he gave her two sons, plus he also has a full blooded son with another woman.
He needs to realize what this message will/is sending to the stepdaughter. If he doesn't show her how a man should love and respect a woman by considering her an equal among the children, she'll go find that love somewhere else.
Hopefully, when his wife calls him a butt and explains the need to equally accept all 4 children, he'll realize how stupid and childish he's being.
They have four kids. All together.
@@jwlsngold5026 so you use 4 and I use four. Why do you say "No" to me?
@@jwlsngold5026 itâs not his job to prepare a âlegacyâ for his wifeâs daughter - that is HER fatherâs job,
As someone who grew up in a blended family I feel this in my soul. You want to cause hate and resentment as these kids get older, this type of nonsense will make that happen! My situation. The youngest half sibling got money for college and a car plus insurance. Us older kids were told to figure it out. Weâre not paying. Thatâs just one example. Now weâre all in our mid 40âs and 50âs we see each other on holidays just to be nice. When my mom and stepdad pass I doubt weâll have much communication.
And people wonder why I will never re-marryâŠ
Bingo!!!! I have property my father gave me that I want to go to my daughter and grand daughter not someone else and their kids.
â@@Choco-Katproperty is nothing but money in land.
It means nothing to me because I'm not owned by my possessions. I own them.
@@jamisojoWhat are you even trying to say?
Hi f roles was reversed Dave be saying its women land now husbands step kids Dave caters to wemen
Yes, that's the reason....
Hereâs an easy solution⊠buy another 10 acres adjacent to the land and leave that to her.
Yep
I'm okay with that.
Perfect solution ⊠all children should inherit equally ⊠just as his wife cooks and cleans for his first son.
Not for him. He wants to buy the rest of the family land and give it to his sons.
How is that perfect? Who gets the house? That's where the money is going to be poured into.
Donât you dare accept it ! He buys land with part of your money . Put your foot down.
That land is inherited not bought by him
@@SplashIt34 She said at about 2:08 through 2:36 that he wants to buy back more of the family land surrounding the inherited piece. If he does that, the purchased portion becomes marital property.
@@lhv569 33% of the land belong to the father that he bought back from the mother selling. Now that the father is dead the son gets the 33% of the land which he plans to split equally with his 3 boys. But he also plans to buy the remaining percentage with the wife. The remaining percentage sure should definitely be split among all kids for sure. But the 33% is not required because it was from his father to him and now from him to his 3 boys.
The end of Pearl S. Buck's book "The Good Earth"
But one day he saw clearly for a little while. It was a
day on which his two sons had come and after they had
greeted him courteously they went out and they walked
about the house on to the land. Now Wang Lung followed
them silently, and they stood, and he came up to them
slowly, and they did not hear the sound of his footsteps
nor the sound of his staff on the soft earth, and Wang
Lung heard his second son say in his mincing voice :
'This field we will sell and this one, and we will divide
the money between us evenly. Your share I will borrow
at good interest, for now with the rail-road straight through
I can ship rice to the sea and I . . .'
But the old man heard only these words, "sell the land,"
and he cried out and he could not keep his voice from break-
ing and trembling with his anger :
'Now, evil, idle sons - sell the land?' - he choked and
would have fallen, and they caught him and held him up,
and he began to weep.
Then they soothed him and they said, soothing him:
'No - no - we will never sell the land '
'It is the end of a family - when they begin to sell the
land,' he said brokenly.' 'Out of the land we came and into
it we must go - and if you will hold your land you can
live - no one can rob you of land '
And the old man let his scanty tears dry upon his cheeks
and they made salty stains there. And he stooped and took
up a handful of the soil and he held it and he muttered:
'If you sell the land, it is the end.'
And his two sons held him, one on either side, each
holding his arm, and he held tight in his hand the warm
loose earth. And they soothed him and they said over and
over, the elder son and the second son:
'Rest assured, our father, rest assured. The land is not
to be sold.'
But over the old man's head they looked at each other
and smiled.
@@lhv569 the moment they move on the inherited land it becomes marital property.
Listen, if you're not ready to treat a child as your own, don't marry someone with kids. I won't be surprised if the daughter will be the one yo care for him when he's old and weak as daughters stick around more than sons . She'll look at this man different when she hears this conversation. I wish her well
Do you have a link to prove this claim?
But then again she gets a inheritance from her real dad, and she gets from the stepdad? The other kids only get one inheritance.
This is a fairytale mentality. Aside from the exceptions, step-parents are not cash-cows to other peopleâs children, and step-children donât care for step-parents like they do their actual parents.
Real dad may not be in the picture. May not have a job. May already be dead
@@georgewagner7787 None of those factors means that step-dad needs to prepare a legacy for a step-child. Step-dad said (according to this woman) that all other inheritances would be split evenly - but not HIS familyâs land. That is beyond reasonable. Mom can create an investment for her daughter. Funny thing though - this caller sure as heck never seemed to ficus in how SHE will be using HER money to create a legacy for HIS son with another woman. Funny how that works, huh?
Looks like you're headed for divorce #2
I can bet money on it. And she will get 15 acres after the divorce
Hope not. But thatâs what the world is coming to. Oop! ProblemâŠI guess divorceâŠâŠ
The fact that he wants to use joint resources to develop and inhabit land that his wife's daughter won't inherit is completely insane. Either everything is "OURS" or it's not. Looks like he's choosing the latter
@@dialac1 Actually not. Inherited property is not considered part of the marital assets.
Hell yeah put him on child support
Inheritance is separate property willed to an individual. As long as it's kept separate, it belongs to the person it was willed to. If he somehow muddies the situation by building community property on this land, it could lead to litigation down the line.
I agree, I think that Idea to move to the land is sooooooo dumb. But it may be a considerate thing todo as a compromise, the daughter gets the house on the land, the sons own the land? Idk. I definitely would get a lawyer involved asap.
Depends on the state they are in. Commonwealths would have the inheritance as a marital asset.
In a marriage, as long as the spouse keeps the inheritance separate it remains theirs. The moment they begin to share it, it becomes marital property. If she moves on that land and they become divorced, she will get half of it. If the inheritance was money, the moment the spouse puts it in a joint bank account, it becomes marital property and the other spouse is entitled to half.
@@Ella-Bella2024If they sell their jointly owned house to build a new one on the land she is morally and legally entitled to part of the value of the house. If he only wants his sons to inherit then they donât build out there. Simple solution.
I canât imagine the unspoken rejection that daughter faces in this family. This type of mindset transfers to the home and everyday decisions as well. He doesnât want to raise another mans child and IT SHOWS, even if it remains largely unspoken.
I was in a blended family and it sucked so I completely understand, but this girl will grow up with lots of shame and abandonment
This isn't about the kids. It's about two becoming one when they get married. If they have that figured out, the other decisions come more easily.
well if he does not give any to the daughter do not give any money to help with the land. Just give money to the daughter when she passes and the boy's can have the land if he wants to keep it in his family.
Bingo. Never remarry without protecting the inheritance of the children that came before. This man feels entitled to this woman's money without any consideration for her daughter. He had no business getting with a woman who already had a child.
Since they are married, as soon as a house is built on that land, she will automatically have the right to half of it. Sheâs going to divorce him and take half. Heâs stupid for marrying her and stupid for putting marital income on that land.
â@@dialac1you don't know that & it is horrible to say that.
ââ@@dialac1
He wants to use the funds from the sale of their JOINTLY owned home to invest in HIS inherited land. This woman has no legal right to HIS land, the deed is in HIS name alone as it was his inheritance. This is financial suicide for this woman! She should stay in her home where she has joint ownership. Let things stay as they are. If he wants to move to his inherited land or buy more bloodline land let him do so with HIS income. She is NOT part of HIS bloodline even if their twin sons are. This woman does not have to entangle herself with HIS inheritance. She should not contribute any financial anything to HIS inheritance. She already has a comfortable home and her income. She is good. Let this man handle his inheritance by himself and wait until those twins become adults to decide if they want to buy any extra bloodline land. Lady, stay where you are. The twins will decide for themselves when they grow up.
My mom had two girls when she remarried to my dad he never treated them like outcast. I never knew they were my step sisters until I was older but I didnât care. My parents will is all five split every thing. If the guy doesnât want to split the land with all kids then donât use your wife to build a house on it because now it becomes the wifeâs land as well and should be split evenly. My opinion. You canât control everything from the grave and it wonât matter after that anyway
That is awesome BUT I think your case is the exception not the rule. Typically, I don't think blended families work.
I have a theory as to why your family worked so well given it was a blended family (correct me if I'm off base). I think it worked because the stepparents MARRIED the entire family, they loved the entire family. That's rare though.
â@GAFB1122 they typically don't, blended families have a divorce rate of roughly 78%
Unless your mom isnât your biological mom, they arenât your stepsisters. Theyâre your half sisters. You have the same mother. Totally different situation.
I have a similar experience. My parents treated all of us kids the same. I didn't care when I found out either. I love all of my siblings the same. There are no "step-children" in my family.
Split the home and land between the three boys (his blood line), and then compensate the daughter (from their 401k or other assets) for the 1/4 she lost out on. Or compensate her just for the value of the house that sits on the land and not the land itself.
This seems reasonable
Exactly
Agreed
This sounds very reasonable ngl
That was my first reaction too.
by the time the parents die, those 3 boys will be out on their own somewhere else and won't want the land, they will sell at first chance
Don't bet on it. My dream since I was 22 has been to own land. Still can't afford it at 28, but I know lots of other people in their early 20s who want land.
@@Cyanopteryx they may want land, but where, in the next 45 years they will have moved for school, jobs, girl friends, wives and then had kids of their own. Will they uproot their families to go live on great grandma's farm at that point.
@@Cyanopteryx If you want land, you can get it right now. Go out into the middle of bumbfudge nowhere and by a tract of land for pennies on the dollar. Congratulations, you're a land owner.
Land isn't what's expensive. Location is. And that's why these boys are going to immediately sell it. They probably won't want to live in the middle of bumbfudge nowhere.
âThatâs hurtful youâre a buttâ!! đ€Ł Perfect summation!!
I don't think Dave really dialed in on this one. This goober wants to use joint resources to develop non-joint land. That should've been the end of discussion, not prattling about hurt feelings and dirt and whatever
Why to build a new house on a land that is already a motive of conflict. They should build in a different lot if they want to keep a healthy marriage and a relationship with the daughter.
So the husband wants to take the community home and the community income and dump it all into his inherited property but keep that as his separate estate. It doesn't work that way when you co-mingle the assets
Exactly. He has no knowledge of the law.
@@Ella-Bella2024 well he could also pull the stunt after getting everything shifted over to this inherited property of saying he wants to put it in the family trust he created he just needs her to sign off on it and sign any claims to the property away. Hell no unless she is co trustee and equal trustee.
@@johnsweet8964 this guy's not smart enough to try that.
I agree in general, but this may not be a âcommunal homeâ. When my husband moved in, I had owned my home for years. A few years later we moved - it was my house, my profits. I put all of the profit towards MY student loans (which was still beneficial to our debt-payoff). This woman doesnât sound like she is skilled in stripping down the feelings and just getting to the facts. They she doesnât just sit down with her husband, and the facts, is beyond me. If she does co-own the home, she can take a portion of the profits and set-up an investment for her daughter, then every payday put a little money into it. Better yet - she can work with her daughterâs FATHER to do this. Her husband is not responsible for building an inheritance to a kid who isnât his (people get triggered by this and itâs because it hits too close to home, but itâs true).
Does the husband's suggestion mean that his older son should get a smaller share of the new house because he's not blood related to the wife? If not, then there's no reason why his step daughter should get less either. đ
Bingo. Does he value girls?
Good point.
actually easy math - 1/2 for each parent - the boy from previous relationship should then get 1/6, (1/3 of a half), and the other boys each (1/6 + 1/4) - from father, and then half of a mothers half. :D this sh. is crazy. what an awful pos this guy is. i bet he does nothing at home, and sees his money as his, hers as theirs. get out lady!
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Trading with an expert is really beneficial. This will help you not to lose your money in the trading market.
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Jane Roy
This is why blended family is so bad!
I agree, i was in a blended family and it SUCKED! Definitely DO NOT DO IT unless you are extremely spiritually mature and very few of us are yet
I would say this is why you need to work through many things before blending a family.
Itâs not the blending thatâs the issue, but the lack of respecting all the members as one family.
@@lavenderkisses9461 respect âđż
@@lavenderkisses9461 Yeah thatâs a crock. Blending is for smoothies. Not families.
It doesn't work if you're a very tribal person with strong attachment to bloodline like the caller's husband. If you're not willing to treat all of the children the same then don't bother. Personally, I don' thave a problem with his decision but he should've never married her in the first place or used her money to develop the land.
That's exactly how Dave sets up his Will/ Trust Fund so only his bloodline inherits his wealth. He said that the other day on a call.. why is this situation different?
Exactly
he is referring to children in law not step children though
Because Dave didnât marry someone with kids alreadyâŠ.
That is what I thought too. Sounded like Dave's will.
â@@daspeed198still not bloodline.
I feel bad for the daughter and the conversations sheâs going to hear her whole life!! It could really hurt her emotionally!!!
The daughter has a biological father who can give her an inheritance
@@dnah02the callerâs stepson also has a biological mother who will leave him an inheritance. With your logic, the two stepchildren in this household should get less than the twin two year olds who share both parents in the home.
@@mnsohseven if that's the case it should work like that each biological parent should give a inheritance. Then we squash the little old piece of achers that's not that big of a thing according to Dave.
@@dnah02 with your logic the step mother should never contribute to her step son. Only the bio father and mother should only contribute. This is crazy. People really donât understand biblical principals they are so selfish and just want to hurt innocent children because of their selfishness.
@@Shaladash many married folks don't follow the Bible any how. Many have kids from a previous boyfriend or girlfriend not husband or wife. Or they cheat, drink, smoke, ect. But yes step son ,step daughter is not your responsibility to clean after another man or woman's mess. Your not obligated. Now if you want to help ok that's your choice and we have free will to choose where our resources go. For me there will never be a step whatever I made sure to stay clear of that occupation when I was in my 20s.
I think the number should be, 50% divide to 4 kids (mom's portion) and 50% divide to 3 kids (dad's portion). This means the daughter gets 13% of all assets, each boy gets 29%. The daughter also get the inheritance from her dad's side.
Donât ever tell anyone what you inherit or what you put in your will.
Emotional response is donât treat your kids differently. Practical response is that this is not an issue for 30 years. Realistic response is that itâs half yours in any divorce 10 years from now.
all the children are under the same roof, getting fed the same food, and sharing a childhood but the one daughter out of four canât inherent the same from the father as her three siblings? that isnât right anyway you might spin it.
This is why people need to think twice before blending families. At the end of the day, most people are going to favor their own biological children over someone else's, even if they claim they "love" their stepchild. Getting premarital counseling is a gamechanger. If most people did this, the divorce rate wouldn't be as high. And conversations like this one would become less common.
Iâm a wife and a mother, and if I were to ever remarry (not something that is likely), Iâm not putting any effort into building a legacy for another womanâs child - unless I have Dave Ramsey level wealthy. This woman is clearly not skilled at just getting to the point. If she was a better communicator, she would have already laid out the facts and presented an easy solution: (if she co-owns the home) a portion of itâs sale is going to start an investment for her daughter, then she can continue to add a portion of her paycheck to her daughterâs investment. But 1) I didnât hear this woman talking about how she was going to fund a legacy for her step-son (funny how that is always the case), and 2) this woman needs to address legacy with her daughterâs actual father.
Yep
Itâs just dirt until it makes the daughter feel like she was never a part of the family equally. Thatâll impact her mentality on relationships further down the road. I get that once you divorce once you are jaded about a âforeverâ marriage, but thatâs part of committing to someone with children, especially underage children where youâll take an active part of their lives.
Wrong
@@chuckhorus3228 thank you, I was really looking to be right in your book. But here we are. Iâm not sure where to go from here now that Iâm wrong.
I don't understand how she is 'underage'. She's a part of a different family. Her dad may be a nice guy, and her grandparents are not related to anyone else. I do get the sense that the daughter is out of the house and on her own or in college. It's difficult when your mom remarries and has toddlers and starts a new family. I thought the new marriage was only a few years in, so the step dad did not raise her. The mom seems guiltily projecting that her daughter will flop and need a place to come back to.
that's when her mother prepare her mentally, and that's where her mother makes a plan to for her daughter to inherit something of her own. The husband has no business asking for money tho, that's just taking advantage.
Blended family is a NO NO.
Marrying a sexist jerk is a NO NO.
My in laws as far as i know didn't leave anything for my hubby they just left it to older daughter. Got it out of his mothers mouth. She eanted me to inform him of that. Btw we're the only ones that have kids. My sweet wonderful sis in law split everything in half and gave kids some of there furniture and stuff. She felt it wasnt right what they did. Shes awesome đ
He has every right to do what he is doing. If his father wants to keep it in the bloodline then he needs to honor that.
Get the land appraised before and after...any gains afterwards are split evenly. Otherwise keep the family and all costs independent of the land and allow the "inheritance" to somehow maintain it.
âHeâs her daddy nowâ good lord do you know how hurtful that is toward men that have a child that has a stepfather
Right! Unless the daughter's biological father is dead or something, the husband shouldn't be trying to replace the biological father!
Or abusive or in jail or just a bad person đ â@@LittleHatori
Blame the mother. She obviously had a pattern of choosing dysfunctional men
@@boston312 legs wide side to side woooooa
Daveâs gone a little woke in recent years. And he can say these stupid things because heâll never have to stand behind them... his wife didnât come with another manâs child, did she? Not a cent of Dave Ramseyâs wealth is going to another manâs child.
So this man wants to keep his family land inside his family? Sounds pretty reasonable to me.
She literally said shes on board with that. She wants the land to stay in his family. Did you even listen lol?
Yeah this is classic feminism nonsense
The divine order of the family is
Father wife children the father is the BOSS you tell your girl this relationship will exist on MY terms or it won't exist at ALL
It's not about the land, it's about selling the family home and moving onto the land and building a new house that her daughter will not get anything from. If she divorced him today she would get half of everything. He wants her to pay half of all the costs, but not leave her daughter anything but the scraps.
@@barnstar2077her daughter doesnât deserve anything. He should have never married this lady let alone knocked her up. He chose the wrong womanâŠâŠtwice. The first sonâs mom and the lady heâs married to now.
@@austintomkewitz3981this sounds like some advice you read on the internet and have never once tried in the real world đ€Ą
This is one reason of many to not get with somebody with kids from a previous relationship
Something does not add up. She kept om saying ''my daughter''. Never once did she say ''our daughter. Who is not biologically his....''.
If he raised her, why isn't she ''our daughter''. Even more strange, when asked ''does she live with you?'' The caller said ''currently'' implying that it has not always been so.
I think she is not saying everything.
The only mistake he made, going by her tale, was proprosing to build a house that the caller would help pay but never own.
This is not about the daughter at all, I think.
Your.comment is spot on! There are details regarding âherâ daughter she conveniently left out. Such as, the current role of the girlâs biological dad in her life and the probable inheritance she would have from him. I fault her husbandâs decision on the inheritance based on this womanâ submissions, but we need to know her husbandâ side of the story before drawing a conclusion.
Itâs not difficult to give her at least 5 acers of the 30.. the sons can still inherit the bigger half if he wants. Bless them. Wish them well.
If its just a stupid piece of dirt, then why is it a big deal if the husband doesnt include the daughter in the inheritance??
Honestly I donât think most girls I know real even care much about a piece of land unless it has a house on it.
Half of current house belongs to the wife, as well as half of all of the assets that they own between them. But he wants to sell their current home and use their money build a new home and buy back land that her daughter will not see a penny from. If it was just the land it would be understandable.
$ MONEY $
Ok schonda.
So if it's just a stupid piece of dirt that doesn't mean anything.... Should he buy the three kids Christmas gifts and not buy the daughter one?
It's the same thing.
Furthermore, why would these three boys want to share this land? I wouldn't want to argue about some little piece of land with two siblings.
What do I get to do with my share of a piece of land jointly owned with two other people?
Because if the daughter finds out, then itâs more than just dirt. Thereâll be some hurt feelings from a daughter who thought her âdadâ loves everyone equally.
I've seen land and divorce and half siblings try to hash this out. It went very badly. It fractured their family forever.
Iâm the only girl with three brothers and always assumed the brothers would inherit the farm since they were farmers. My mother who sweated and sacrificed for this farm as did I as a child. She was insistent that I receive 1/4 of inheritance as she realized that realistically the only girl who bear the brunt of elder care which is exactly what happened.
The farmland went to brothers; wooded property went to me. The farm is basically a playground for the extended family with very little farming happening. We all are retired now and live in close proximity and are close; no one feels cheated or harbors any ill will towards family.
If the implication is that the kids should never sell this land so they can pass it down to their children, it's a financial burden more than an asset. (Unless it generates income somehow.)
Agreed.
I'm not sure I want any of it even if I was one of his boys.
And I certainly don't want to look my new sister in the face and explain it to her.
What a bunch of weirdos.
Yah, likely at least one of "the boys" won't want it. It will be a giant hassle.
I think the father did the most responsible thing while trying to please all parties
Heâs more than likely getting grief from his side of the family to keep the land in the âbloodâ
Glad he mentioned splitting everything else equally.
At the end of the day I hope they raise them good enough where this is a non issue in the long term.
She mentioned their plan was to buy more of the adjoining land (of the original housestead that grandma used to own) and also building a house with her husband.
If that was the case, why canât they:
1. Wait to buy an adjoining block themselves and build their house on an adjoining block?
2. Keep the blocks separate
Then the will could be written in a way, that leaves the inherited 33 acres to his kids, but the newly purchased block(s) including the house, that the wife has jointly contributed to, could be left the all children (including hers).
Technically, if he was hard headed regarding âblood lineâ inheritance, then his oldest child (her stepson) would also not be an inheritor for her 50% portion of the estate she contributed to - only her daughter and the twins.
Could also add, if he wanted the combined estate left to his bloodlines, that the stepdaughter was to be paid out by the remaining sibling for her portion of the estate - if the sibling wanted to carry on with his wishes. If they donât wish to pay her out lump-sum, then the land they, as a couple bought and built a house on would have to be sold - leaving his kids the initial 33 acres, as inherited, without a house.
I guess it all comes down to how the stepfather and stepdaughter get along with one another. The caller never mentions this
To be honest, the daughter is the one who will most likely take care of them in their old age.
That's what I said, daughters stick around, sons usually DON'T.
i actually kinda hope she will take care only about her mum and wont with him. i really wish that. he never considered her as part of family,
In California, 1/2 of all improvements to the husband's inherited land using joint money, including building a house on it, would belong to his wife.
As they should.
Boom! Iâm sure this man doesnât know this and Iâm sure she suggested they build on that land. She will divorce him once that house is built and take half of it
Not if it goes to the sons
but then you' have to live in ca đ... and i unfortunately do đ
You didn't listen they are in Texas
Tell him to imagine how he would feel if she excluded his son. Describe it for him real clearly.
He will do exactly what the judge orders him to do!
A lot of different factors... do they have a relationship, is she disrespectful to him? Is the girl's father wealthy? how long have they been married? Its a lot to consider
Wonder all of those tooâŠ.
She is part of the family, Dave is right in this case. Relationships is far more important, it's just a piece of land. They are family. But Dave is wrong, very few stay married for 40 years, so they unlikely going to stay married that long especially if this is their second marriage. He can always update the will.
Agreed! And we don't know what will happen in the future. The land is certain, the divorce is almost 50% certain. Just let him have the land and let the daughter get what's left of the combined assets. I feel like this man was never going to treat ur daughter the same as his sons. BUT THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED B4 MARRIAGE!! And if u don't want to move to build on the land, then negotiate on that. But leave it alone. Don't let this thing bury ur marriage.
She's part of the family but she has her own father, she may not call the stepdad "Dad" and she may be inheriting from her actual dad. Now if that happens she'll be expected to SHARE her inheritance.
@@bernadette573 Good points
@@LittleHatori I think it's ok to put in a will since that can be changed easily if a divorce were to happen. Good points.
The 50% divorce rate states otherwise. This man is smart to protect his assets and leave it in the family bloodline. Dave lives in a fantasy world where divorce doesnt exist
Dave, you are a good man. I have five kids, 3 boys, 2 girls. I am all of thems dad. Two of them biological, the other three i was blessed with along the way. I love them all equally and i will always do so. Well said Dave.
In our family,,of seven kids,,,two passed one a nurse,,,,my dad adopted three kids, my sister took care of him ,,she was adopted..I was adopted,I spent most of my life five minutes down the street from my parents,,,my kids adored their grandparents,,my kids helped with stuff around the house for them,,,I helped and my mom was my best friend,,,,step kids took care of them,,,,you never know what will happen in life
Iâm curious about the stepchildâs dad. For all we know, theyâre close and heâs providing a land inheritance for her.
probably not.
If that was the case, I donât believe sheâd be calling in to begin with. But who knows.
Exactly
Hahah yeah I'm sure that's it đ
Dude are you listening to
Something else?
It's land in his family. Not stuff. Dave is wrong. The husband is not wrong. If she leaves, she can take his family land.
Sounds like the land is way more important than his family. That sounds like you agree.
@@jamisojo it's his family land. It's obviously important to him.
@@HappywifeTaylor I agree, its his family land. He won't share it with anyone who is not family, so why ask for money from someone who is not family?
What you are forgetting is she also has an ex who will leave the girl something which will not be shared. Donât use the property and buy a house somewhere else.
Daveâs answer is particularly hilarious when you realize heâs talked about how his assets are in trusts so his kids spouses donât get them if they get divorced.
It's not just stuff if it's been in the family for generations.
He can make up to the daughter by giving her more of the rest of the inheritance.
Yes. That would be the adult thing to do.
Or just treat the kids evenly to keep your life simple. I don't know why people want so much weirdness.
His "bloodline". What a joke. You can already tell he hasn't passed on anything of value to anybody.
Yeah, if he valued hiis daughter as much Ashe values his sons. He doesn't.
He married a woman with a child already. She is his responsibility now. They need to figure out how to best split everything evenly even if the daughter doesn't get land. But Dave's right, if the wife's money helps care for or allows him to afford keeping his inheritance, then it's hers too.
Doubt he needs the ladies money. Could sell the land and kick her to the curb đ„Ÿ
I've seen it happen many times where a person who wasn't a blood relative had to step in to take care of a person or their assets more than the blood relatives could.
It's not his daughter. Imagine if he called to say his wife wont share HER inheritance with HIS child?
But sheâs contributing to the house they build on the land. So youâre saying she shouldnât do that
When mom sells the family home and uses it to build on the kand and buy more land from step dads family the daughter becomes entitled to a share.
Then he shouldn't use HER money to fund an inheritance that will only go to HIS sons then.
If its isolated from everything else and essentially passing straight down from the grandparents, then I don't really see the issue. But if this knucklehead wants to use joint resources to build on and inhabit it for decades, then it absolutely has to include his stepchildren.
đŻ
Inherited property can be separate from the martial property, but once marital income and marital assets become entwined with the inherited property, it becomes part of the martial assets. Building a house with marital assets on inherited property is fine, but the house and the property it sits on is not inherited.
100% ! Dave nailed it !! Well said. 4 children. End of story.
It's HIS inheritance and wants to keep it in HIS family..suppose these 2 get divorced then what? I'm with the husband.
The stepdaughter is part of the family. If there is a divorce, he can change the will.
â@@karabooXDnot blood so this waste of a kid isn't worth getting anything lmao
Half of current house belongs to the wife, as well as half of all of the assets that they own between them. But he wants to sell their current home and use their money build a new home and buy back land that her daughter will not see a penny from. If it was just the land it would be understandable.
Then he changes his will post divorce with whatever he gets if they split? It's not rocket science
While needing her resources? The alfas of today. They need a plan in which part of HER resources are ser aside as inheritance for her daughter.
ONLY about 33 acres? Sweetheart thatâs a lot of land
Not in texas. Itâs gross there.
We are a blended family and from day one it's been equal for all three of our children.
I love our children too much to pit them against each other.
As the wife, if my husband treated my daughter like this I would really question whether this is the person for me, the fact the he would like his step-daughter to receive less because of her gender would make me question how he looks at me as a woman.
His âblood lineâ lol. Like itâs Ancient Rome.
Yaaaaaa. Things like morals and values and families and stuff are just soooo liiiike⊠medieval or whateverrrr
The father is right. The land should go to his sons. The daughter is not his biological child.
Half of current house belongs to the wife, as well as half of all of the assets that they own between them. But he wants to sell their current home and use their money build a new home and buy back land that her daughter will not see a penny from. If it was just the land it would be understandable.
â@@barnstar2077 that's what they were thinking of doing so the daughter could get considerable time on the land before it all went to her brothers. That was my thinking... I don't think they should do anything without getting some lawyer advice tho bc Dave ...is not a lawyer
Simplest solution.. don't build on that land and buy an additional 11 acre lot to leave to the daughter and then let them share equally in the jointly held family residence wherever that may be.
I agree. However, if the Family residence is on either of those pieces of land, it is going to result in a conflict.
The fact that he wants to live there and have his wife bring her income into the property and improve the value of it, and then not share any of that value with her daughter, is where it gets messy. At that point it should be divided equally.
He's being very foolish and wrong as well. He dated her knowing full well that her daughter came with the deal. Cutting her out of this land and future house is cutting her out of the majority of future family wealth as it will likely be over 70% of his wealth when he passes away. So, she gets just 1/4 of this 30% or 7.5% of his total estate while brothers get 31% each.
I'm betting this man expects his wife to split her estate equally among all four kids. This will only increase this disparity and bitterness within the family.
In the meantime, the girl he's been raising for 3+ years suddenly finds out her stepdad considers her to be much less worthy than her brothers and that will mess her up. Add in the above lop sided splits and she'll never have good memories of this man.
Yep, Iâd be back to being a single mom real quickly if those were the terms.
I disagree slightly. If the land is this important to him and his family, it would make ense that he didn't care for the daughter (not bio kid) to have it! They don't even have the same last name... That's not his biological child! Where's the daughter's father, won't the daughter's bio father give her something? I think the wife is overthinking things bc at the end, they will split combined assets with all the kids. " The message is clear, daughter is not my biological child. I do not want non biological children having the same degree of power over an asset that is coming from MY FAMILY!" Makes perfect sense to me.
The children are not equal to him, because they are not equal. In a divorce, this would be a mess to give land to the daughter. I agree, Let the boys have it. And if the boys want to give some to their sister, let it be that
@@LittleHatori Frankly, I agree. Considering that most of the time men outearn women, it is highly likely that the daughter will receive a decent share from her biological father, while at least the one boy from the previous marriage will not receive much from the mother's side.
Mathematically it is highly probable that at least the one boy will be put at a disadvantage compared to the daughter if they split it evenly.
â@@LittleHatori if they build a house on the land then the daughter should inherit part of the house. Her biological mother helped build it with her income.
Also, don't assume the girl's biological father will give her anything.
@@NutTheft why do you assume the bio dad will give her anything? A lot of men get remarried and totally ignore children from the first marriage. If you donât want that girl feeling hurt and ostracized, you just split it evenly. They are a family and that girl is being treated like an outsider. Not good
I'm with the husband on this one. It's family land. It should stay in the family.
Family land? Family sold it and he had to buy it back. Doesn't matter.
Sort of get it⊠but at the same time they are going to live on the land (with the kids I think) and it sounds like they are a blended family when kids were YOUNG. Itâs not like they got married when their kids were 15.
â @@randalljohnson2009not only that, he expects his wife to contribute financially to continuing the buyback of land her daughter will never see and to be fine with that
She is family. He married her mum. Her children will be his grandchildren. His family.
Yes I agree
Splitting it up equally doesnât make a difference than splitting it up for just the 3 boys. If all the kids dont even know how much they will inherent then it doesnât matter if its 11 acres or 8 acres, it only matters the dad who is emotionally not in control
You don't see re-uploads on this channel that often. This is one of them.
Stay away from single moms, gentlemen.
And single dads
I wonder how old the daughter was when they got married
I agree with the husband AND THE WIFE... CREATE a "NEW" inheritance for all of the children combined. With a new purchase of land
If you take on someone else's child and agree to raise them as your own, you have to bloody well treat them as your own. His approach is a recipe for very deep resentment against not only him but the three boys too. Terrible terrible idea. Inheritance disputes can wreck relationships. Keep it simple, and remember it is only money. â€
Good advice. We needed Papa Dave on this one.