Paul Elam on UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of Modern RELATIONSHIPS and MARRIAGES
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Get Barbarossa on, he is the Og of the men's movement. Ask Paul Elam how to contact him.
Is the Appeal to Nature is the good thing. Partnership companionship
Whats in realistic is happily every after . Not taking into account inevitable periods of anger. Split the beds when in a bad mood
King James banned wedding rings
Paul bullied his ex wife claiming she cheated on him with his black buddy, when the wife claims the friend in fact raped her and luckily she bore a child that was Paul's. The ex wife said Paul chose a rapist over his own wife. An article on buzzfeed said, "he accused his first wife of lying about being raped so he could relinquish his parental rights and avoid paying child support." Shoddy stuff if it's true.
Paul is the man.
Pearl is the man too
Paul has immense authority on this topic. ❤
True OG
The day you get on your knee and she says 'Yes', you'll stay there.
Framable.
💯
Forever ...
Rumi's wise advice:
“Half of life is lost in charming others.
The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others.
Leave this play. You have played enough.”
Beltessazar Writing Service at your service
Facts.
Men get married to have regular sex. Unfortunately, for a lot of men, the sex doesn’t last very long. Marriages seem to transition into roommate agreements quicker than men ever thought possible.
why things(sex) that has been created by nature to be natural is someones recreation and addiction?
You get everything in marriage other than regular sex😂
Not true. Speak for yourself.
Unfortunately most women stop providing their end of the bargain years before the end of the marriage while the government forces the man to live up to his end of the agreement (alimony) for years (or forever) after the end of the marriage.
And they wonder why men aren't jumping at this contract any more.
That’s the man’s fault for not clearly communicating his expectations (which women seemed to understand until the past 30 years). And the man has to give his expectations teeth thru what he offers and the protection of a prenup
The godfather of the men’s rights movement ❤❤❤
Yes, Sir! Thank you, Brother...
Paul one of the best in the mens space
3:55 Men who Believe they are RESPONSIBLE for their partner's HAPPINESS are Lost and Deluded. HAPPINESS is an INDIVIDUAL endeavor as Well as an INDIVIDUAL responsibility
True. Happiness is just how YOU feel at the end of the day about the RESULTS of YOUR OWN choies and actions. Anybody expecting others to "make them" happy is in fact expecting other people to make them feel good about the results of their own choices and actions, and that is called something else...
Correct. You dont have a relationship with a female and make her happy. You find a happy female to have a relationship with.
This has been a great interview so far. Bro is preaching facts, without having to lean on a made up personality to get his points across.
Like RoLO Tomollie?
Lol. It's true@@josephesposito3499
paul elam is a legend. And he was speaking spittin facts.
It was great to see Paul talk again. He's a wise man. It also reminds me of what Cato the Elder lectured to the Roman Senate nearly two thousand years ago: "Give women the vote and they will become your masters".
You gotta tell women. Men can not make you happy. No one can, Happiness is something internal the only person who can make you happy or unhappy is you. No one else can do it, And even if they succeed it is fleeting and what makes you happy today will not tomorrow. It is a fool's errand to even try.
True
you think that if you do things for women and improve their lives they would appreciate it and show some loyalty, but they don't
Loyalty is a masculine trait. Women never possessed loyalty. A feminine trait would be gentleness, sensitive, emotional. Loyalty and appreciation are traits that only men exhibit. This was well understood and recognized in society 100+ years ago, before we were thoroughly brainwashed into romanticized ideology that women are innocent angels and princesses. Time to break the brainwashing. Women are NOT innocent, not angels, and not princesses.
@@katerinatheleritis9658it's sad or it's realistic?
@@katerinatheleritis9658they are all like that
Right
@@thenarrator1984 both ,,,,,,,sad, and realistic
It’s admiration that keeps couples together. Not love. Generosity helps as well. People chasing happiness and love are always depressed.
Having God in the equation changes EVERYTHING. God is Love, and two people united under God are capable of loving. Mundane people cannot and will never be able to love in a marriage, they live and act like reptiles.
Making some lame unpleaseable woman happy sounds like a nightmare. Nope.
The only winning move is not to play........
Wow, you must have some clout to get Paul Elam on your show. God bless you.
love is not a "feeling" at all. Love is active, it is work. It cannot work if one party is only a recipient and the other only a source.
My grandparents met on their wedding day. They were married almost 70 years. To say that they loved each other is an understatement. They went through a world war, a great depression, the cold war, raised kids, moved several times for job opportunities and not once did one say to the other "you aren't making me happy". Nope, they knew something later generations have never even heard of--happiness is what you find as you figure out life together.
Nah, it's both...... but if you want to enjoy the strongest manifestation of that "Feeling" in this life, in this world, then yes -> You need to work your butt off for it.... mostly be being a moral person in the face of adversity.
Think about how absurd that sounds. Love is not "work". When you head off to work in the morning, you don't say "It's time to go to love".
"My grandparents met on their wedding day."
Uhh...what?
@@selohcin It sounds absurd due to how you interpret the word "love".
Best definition i've heard of what love actually is: "A particular quality of attention that facilitates growth"
Just stop and think about what a dowry was. A grown man would offer you land and live stock to take his teenage daughter off of his hands…
Does that really sound like women are the prize to you?
theyve confused prize with necessary burden for continuation of the species. Not a prize a Burden, thats why theyre classified as dependents.
Dowry in the west is like that. Most of the world,it's the man that pays Dowry to the women and not the other way around.
He gives to their life together and that the daughter brings something to the marriage. They weren't always big things like land. The poor could not give a large dowry, but they had been saving since their daughter was born so that they could give something. In some countries, the man pays, but that's actually how he buys the woman. In a way, she becomes his property.
The prize was being able to give you heirs but most women don't want to give children, not your own, Chad's maybe.
Very true but that was just in the west in islam the men give the dowry but they also got this mindset that if you have sex with a woman before marriage its all about what if it was you daughter mother or sister making the whole point of the marriage to make the father in law happy,and its never vice versa if a woman has sex before marrige they don't ask what if your son got "used"
Happy wife happy life, always sounds like blackmail to me.
It probably is
I'm going out on a limb here and say wedding cake is the best birth control ever invented.
Great interview that EVERY young man who wants to be married needs to hear. Love your blunt replies Pearl. You made me laugh!
The Romantism movement is what started to kill relationships
Romance, romantics, means Roman antics. Look at the demise.... Again.
Huh?
Feminism did.
@@dangerous8333 Exactly.
The real killer was birth control.
Prior to bc some minor changes occurred but most people paired up and made the relationship work with gratitude.
hallmark movies. lifetime etc etc....disney princesses. barbies. its absurd on its face.
The real definition of marriage
If 3% of women are marriage material how is that some regular guys fault?
That is because they are extremely hard to find, sadly the average girl is mentally screwed up by social media and overeducation of today's school system.
@@ryantjones1130 my question is how is that a young mans fault?
@its not....men are not responsible.....unless they are a MALE femenist....( Destiny)pete5691
@@pete5691 Notice how he beat around the bush and did not answer your question?
Pete, its not a young man's fault. This society is crazy.
Its not a young man's fault at all.
AWESOME!! Every middleschool kid should see this. Promiscuity prevents pair bonding. Real love comes later in a relationship. Material things only give short term thrills. Honest people will tell you that they regret spending so much time at work. Great interveiw Pearl.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Promiscuity is wrong. Period.
It is true, many men regret working so much, as they age and become wiser. But they should never forget, that for so many men, working, being productive and having value to someone, even if its other peoples business, kept them sane, gave them some modicum of purpose, and gave them a livelyhood. They traded their time and sweat for other rewards. It was a tradeoff. And they did it with open eyes.
Paul makes sense.
Single Life Happy Life 🎯
FACTS!
Absolutely
Women worked hard up till month 7-8 wh3n being pregnant even. My father had 10 siblings so imagine how much time his mother was pregnant. They also lived in a house built in 978 on a to of a hill. Winters were cold and summers hot. Ppl have no idea how hard times were even 100 years ago. My mother was hungry more iften than not in the childhood. She was norn just before the end of the 2nd WW and war was rampaging in that area (former Yugoslavia area).
Finally, two people who get it! Marriage isn’t about one party taking care of the other, it’s about both parties working together to build a family and a life together. It’s hard work, and it’s not for everyone, but it’s not about one person making sure the other lives happily ever after.😊
Love is a choice, not an emotion and you grow in love, you don't fall in love. You can fall down a flight of stairs and Infatuation but that isn't love its lust and you both WILL lose your looks, so it better be more than that.
That just sounds like commitment, not love.
@selohcin without commitment love is a joke just a temporary hook up vacation
@@selohcin"Love" as is generally perceived and accepted in modern culture, is actually a combination of lust and limerance; it has nothing to do with growth, which is the pillar of what love actually is.
@@bb.buchanan If the essence of love is growth, then why don't we just call it growth?
@@williamleadbetter9686exactly.
6:00 wow! Profound. True love explained
Agrarian society = Patriarchy.
Consumer society = Gynocracy.
Get Barbarossa on. He is the OG of the men's movement.
A man proposed to a woman.When they were discussing the ring and honeymoon, the woman said lets spend the money on a stud bull instead. Now they have one of the largest cattle ranches in Kansas.
That's a lucky man and a good woman or it could be that it was because it was 40 years ago.
nope good man good woman
Aye, not putting up with stupidity is a big thing
❤ from Northeast England ❤️
Every word coming from that man's mouth is 100% accurate. This is why today, there are more single adults than ever in recorded history and this trend will only continue to increase in the years ahead.
Agreed. What happens though once there is essentially no one who is not single?
@@stankbox There will always be married people due to hypergamy, but their numbers will continue to dwindle as baby boomers who did not experience today's dating malaise will pass on in the coming years.
Good stuff Pearl!
Much Wisdom here ,Pearly.....👍👍
When is the full interview dropping? Definitely want to check it out... But not enough to join the paywall
Damn this is good!
Pearl is great
100% spot on. When will it end?!
Well done 👏👏👏✌️👍
I’m glad he mentioned the stupid fawning and getting on one knee to ask (beg) for marriage. Also women think the wedding day is all about them. Truly sick 🤮
thank you Pearl...
Worst thing is that there will always be simps.....
Simpler way to put it, show women the same Respect they show you! The definition of Respect is to treat others as you want to be treated. In other words, eye for an eye, equalness and fairness across the board in everything between men and women, no double standards. What they dish and serve to others, is exactly what they get dished and served in return!
100% facts
Paul is great
Good video Pearl! Paul is tops. Keep up the good work.
It's like they say, "only a real man can make a woman into a house wife."
the real paradigm is happy husband happy marriage, or nothing
@Sam97-oi4vc - What do you mean nope? If a woman will do what it takes to make her man happy, he will move heaven and earth to protect her, provide for her and cherish her. THAT is the way God designed it to be.
@Sam97-oi4vc - Then provide for yourself. No respect given for acting like a man. You only get respect if you live out the role God created you for. That is to be a companion and a helper to a man. That is to submit to him and serve him. If you can't do that, you have no value.
"...and all it does is build resentment and entitlement."
Spot-on, Paul, spot-on!
Given the expectations, it's way easier for me to live my life as a bachelor. FEMs you got this. It feels so good after a lifetime of this social engineering, to be outside that crap. I'm actually enjoying my existence.
A famous comedian once said. If you can do the job in your pajamas it's really not that hard.
AMEN
"Until we developed the technology. . . " No good deed goes unpunished.
Love is duty. The West has yall confused.
🎉
2:14: She quoted Aaron Clarey!
My father tells me about his grandmother (born 1906) roast chicken and roast vegetables lunches she's used to make when he was a child, she grew up on a farm, she would kill a live chicken, gut it, de feather it, season it and cook it ans vegetables in a electric oven, but the stove was wood fire, even in the year 2000 she was still cooking on a wood burning stove it was antique but she would have it no other way, often found myself cutting up wood when visiting, they don't make em like my great grandmother. Lived through the depression, WW1, WW2. 1906 to 2000, saw the modern world we live in grow from the old world of her birth.
By the way pearl my pops know where u got the table from. The man that makes them teach us how to do the same. My pops has it in his house today
Romance is marketing trying to get your money
It is satan flipping the script so things fail.
Funny how most feminists NEVER try and dispute the stats.
pearl in other videos: blames women for the trouble
paul in this video: blames simpy men for the trouble
pearl in this video: yes paul, you are right
My partner of 23 years was my best friend and without friendship then what do you have when not in the sack. Imo thats the secret, marry or be with someone who is first, your best friend and second is attractive to you imo.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Women's participation in labor, particularly middle class women declined over the industrial period of the latter 1900s. It hit a nadir around 1910 then started to increase again in the service economy. This is from the work Claudia Goldin, 2024 Nobel prize in economics winner.
Is there a book where that chat is illustrated?
@@ousamaabdu794 Just search for Claudia Goldin, her work was described in most reports of her winning the prize
Drizzle Drizzle
Pearly girl is my fav.
Bring on barbarossa if you want real smoke
Ive been saying this for your. My wife has grown tremendously through my leadership in the home. We men have to take up the charge of husband and what that actually means.
Marriage is for kids. And true love exists in family with kids. Before kids for short time there is passion, which some call love.
Instant gratification is an issue.
Also, women don't analyze their lives. They're divorced 3 times, and none of its their fault.
We gave them what they said they wanted not understanding that they were just shit testing us...
Women have always worked in some way (In or out of the home). Read “marriage, a complete history” by Stephanie koontz. She details chronologically the origins, history and changes in marriage
Don't ever give women all what she wants, give her 40% and thank me later
Love is an action. Limerence is the feelings we have at the beginning of the relationship aka "sparks". Thats why during the sparks period you have to really be sure your world views align and you are happy with who you are as a person in order for it to work if there is any chance still
I'm 25 and celibate, still a virgin. No interest in kids or having a family thanks ladies enjoy your cats.
SATAN Requires Worship To Give YOU The WORLD! Yet... MEN Are Willing To Give
The WORLD To WOMEN!!! Where's The Worship?
The only reason I'm still married is the she doesn't deserve Alimony.
You cant love, what you dont know.
Marriage is obsolete. Don't do it, fellas!
Not his Woman only his turn, her body and choce. Why men must keep spares and stack his deck.The Patriach 🤴🏽
unrealistic or not I'm not marrying the body catcher.
1) end no fault divorce 2) end women being able to divorce with no proof or concent. 3) make sure women who earn must pay the man and all this will come to a screeching halt. it is and was and always has been about the MONEY
It sounds extreme, but given the history of divorce, the best solution may be to not allow wives to initiate divorce absent proof of physical abuse. Women don't seem to be trustworthy with the right.
Life was harder back in the day yes, but it was also BETER. Humans want luxury and easier lives, but that makes no logical sense, we want our own life to be redundant. Back in the day say 100 years ago, people had more control over their lives, they had to fight to survive, now it's just you survive cause everything is done for you.
It's going to take at least 3 generations walking away before things we'll get better. They almost have to be a panic levels because the population is in free fall. They haven't worked to out yet they think suddenly we're all going to yell but a good deal give me one. It really is a case of mend or perish
You think that it's going to take one to cause the other but it's really the desire for the other that is causing the one.
How many children does girl boss Pearl have?
Nothing.
Nothing will change,
Until fathers start treating family
Court like a mother bear losing her cubs.
Would only
Take one day.
this is good stuff. But, like Jordan Peterson et al, it will be dismissed. It is really sad.
Who?
It's a false belief that a man can make his wife happy! Happy wife happy life is true if she's responsible for her own happiness! No one can make you happy! It's our own responsibility!
@348 What is not stated or understood. Whichever action the women derides masculinity, she is praying against her partner. What is not understood my most is the prayer or what is a pray. People pray against their own needs and objectives without knowing it. Elam should add to his understanding the art of prayer and its effects. Imagine a body of people whom pray without knowing. Prayer was taken out of schools so nobody knows how to pray or able to see when they are praying.
Women tie the value of a rock....to them...for some reason they have no self value of their own, their value seems to be attached to the ring they are given, but then they compare themselves to their friends...my friend got a ring that was worth $60K but mine was only $30K!!! So that makes me worth less then my friend! See the problem there people? Guys, if you can find a girl who will be happy to get a RING POP (the candy) that's a keeper.
Diamond engagement rings were only popularized by Dubai's in the 1900s it's only been hundreds of years or a 100 years that diamond engagement rings are popular
💯....there is an ENTIRE industry- based on selling diamonds- that wants to promote the most $$ expensive rings possible- $$ just Capitolism....that's all
This guy is the anti-Jordan Peterson.
Thank you!
Just like the BS of religion and people believing it when never objectively proven.
Faith is required for a reason.
Are the statistics mentioned for all countries on the planet? It's not easy to contemplate the majority of women in Africa or Asia as overweight and tattooed when they are living below the poverty line. What demographic is being used in these statistics?
It's western countries.
@@itsruffoutchea6636 Okay. That makes more sense. Thanks.
Basically Canada and America.
funny thing there is a correlation between poverty and being overweight too. Most of the people that you see in walmart are probably right around the poverty line and mostly obese or worse. A lot of the problem is eating fast food and sitting on our asses and not exercising. A lot of the weight problems would be dealt with if we challenged big sugar (liquid calories are also a big problem) and actually you know learned to cook our own meals as opposed to eating processed shit. It amazes me we dealt harshly with big tobacco in the 90s but we do nothing about the liquid calories that are killing us.
They actually are!