10 MOST COMMON ETIQUETTE MISTAKES | Do Not Do This!
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- čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
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Hi,
I am Jamila Musayeva, an international social etiquette consultant and the author of two books "Etiquette: the least you need to know" and "Afternoon Tea Etiquette." My books are available in English language in print only. If you wish to order, please email info@jamilamusayeva.com or my website: jamilamusayeva.com/order-books
In this video, you will learn about 10 most COMMON etiquette mistakes that many people are guilty of.
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TikTok: / jamila_musayeva
Website: jamilamusayeva.com/
Email: info@jamilamusayeva.com - Jak na to + styl
Classic etiquette and good manners are timeless. But occasionally, in our fast-casual society, we need gentle reminders.
Nicely stated. Thank you.
Very true!
Her face really reflects coolness and lot of manners and etiquettes. Really master in her work.
Can we get a dressing etiquette ? I see people wearing anything on any situation 😣
Good idea 👍
Agree! Omg- I came to so many events, trying hard to dress up properly and most people wore casual on basically any occasion. I don't know what to wear anymore.
try anna bey's channel
Church is a big one.
Yes! Dressing over 40 would be nice too!
Hello, can You make a video about how to react to rude people? Or people who try to hurt, attack or humiliate other person? Love your videos ❤️
Exactly what I would be interested in, too! 🙂
Yes great idea 👌🏻
Agreed. I always try my hardest not to even respond but when it happens over years and years, cannot help but at some point give those that dish it out the same medicine.
She did that in a video addressing rude comments
@@magdaforwomen2 I know. I mean when you talk directly to people. Work, friends, family and so on
As my grandmother used to say about drinking tea "the higher the pinkie, the lower the class". So true.
Exactly
Actually it does not matter that much.
@@heidiluotolahti4305alright bruh 🤡
My mom used to say this also!
_Mistakes_
0:27 1. Not thanking the gift giver on time.
1:09 2. Responding "no problem" to thank you.
1:51 3. Greeting people you do not know with "hey".
2:19 4. Man extending hand first to handshake woman in a *social setting* .
3:22 5. Sneezing in your right hand palm.
4:01 6. Pointing at people with fingers.
4:35 7. Misspelling or mispronouncing someone's name.
6:05 8. Placing utensils on the table after using them.
6:34 9. Confusing the drinking glasses.
7:44 10. Sticking pinkie out when holding a tea cup.
Yes, people mispronounce my name and my name is not that difficult.
Love the “there’s no need to extend your pinky” Queen of Shade.
The pinky extended is considered as a asign of uneducated person in most of Europian countries.
YES!
It’s tacky and try-hard, i can’t believe she asked to extend the pinky and make sure it’s at an angle lolol
@@pinkandgreen7681 So it's "pefect"!
According to history, the pinky extended was used by French aristocracy (who were very promiscuous) as a sign to who had a venereal disease. When you raised your pinky, you were signaling to anyone who wanted to be with you that you had an STD, so they would know and others who had an STD would know. I learned this from a video by William Hanson who also addressed this faux pa.
🤘
@@carlitosway1330 interesting factoid.
Yes to a series of these (:
I I I I I
Yes please
Yes!
yes please!
YES!
I definitely feel bad when someone mispells my name even after i correct them politely.
Agree. Mine was even worse. One of my friend used to call me by another girl's name a few times until I got so annoyed and he said "what's the big deal? Just a name" :/ yet some people claim they do this by mistake and it's not their intention but still, unacceptable.
Yes! Admin workers are always too lazy to spell my name correctly, even though I already showed them my birth certificate / ID. Why are names so undermined? They're precious.
Do you mean "misspells"????
@@agnesfrank2734 Thank you for your comment.
I have a hard to pronounce first and last name, but it does not bother me because life is too short and I rather to focus in important things and forget trivial ones. Maybe Nashmia Norhan will realize now that "misspells" happen everyday to everybody!
this is the whole reason titles were invented. If feeling unsure, just address by titles. This is fairly common in Asian countries and even in Europe, but nowadays I feel Europe has adopted the American way.
She is so effortlessly elegant and gentle!! Her voice sounds like a gentle pat of the back
Extending the pinkie was used in the high classes of old France to show that the person is single, available and interested in someone on the table. It is definitely not recommended anymore by multiple etiquette teachers.
How interesting!
i extend my pinkie because my pinkie is short and cannot reach to whatever i am holding in my hand.
I wonder if this is where the admonition to "mind your p's and q's" comes from. The letters p and q on a keyboard are typed using the pinky fingers. And it wasn't that long ago that we were taught to extend our pinkies as the "proper" way to hold a drink. I remember it in the 1960s and it was regarded as a semi-automatic position of the fingers that you didn't really have to think about once you got in the habit.
You made learning etiquette very interesting and positive. You are a role model. Thank you Jamila for inspiring us to become good people 🙂
Thank you very much!
@@JamilaMusayeva No problem.
@@UsefulmusicYou've just made the mistake.
I was being naughty.
@@Usefulmusic naughty?
I personally think more young people are saying "no problem" instead of your welcome in certain scenarios because often times favors and other requests are "burdens", especially if they are for people who are not immediate family or close friends. They are not always "welcome" to my time and favors and sometimes it's not necessarily a pleasure to work for them.
For younger people too “You’re Welcome” will come off wrong.
Many people use it for sarcasm or if they are annoyed with a request.
Finally, I meet someone who thinks the same about how important it is to pay attention to others' names! I don't understand nowadays how it still possible that people misspell your name, most of the time you can just copy and paste it if you have any doubts!
Such a classy and well-mannered woman you are! If everyone in this world was as polite as you it would have been a much better place to live. My personal mistake from the list in this video is that once I offered a handshake to a woman and she felt awkward about it and refused it,so my hand was just miserably hanging there...a good lesson but learned with blood :(
that must have been mortifying for yourself and the lady. Much better to learn this etiquette that in a social setting a lady outranks a man and then a lot of sub etiquette like walking a lady home , allowing her to sit first follow naturally
Excellent content, this is much better than watching other programs like National Geographic.
Any fan of Jamila? Please raise your hand ✋
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love her and her content im obsessed 🥰
@@ezgibb correct❤️
The topic about names is so true! My name is Cristina and specially when I get email answers from people outside Spain they usually write my name so wrong! I get emails every day like this: Christina, Kristin, Christine, Cristiana...and most of times they're replying an email from me with my signature on it. I find it so incredibly rude and annoying! I usually take my time to find out how to write other persons name correctly even if there's times when my keyboard doesn't even allows me to do it as there are names from other countries that have more symbols we don't use here.
Same with me. Admin workers always misspell my name :(
I feel for you. I used to work for a woman named Margarita and so many people would either misspell or mispronounce her name Marguerite, and it confused me because no one ever mispronounces the drink.
if it isn’t spelled correctly- it isn’t your name !
When you make the effort you are showing respect. They are not.
@@shayk.393 That's exactly how I feel!
Thank you Jamila for reminding me that I should still be following ways I was brought up with. In this day and age most of the people around me don't follow any etiquette at all but that shouldn't mean that I should forget my Mother's teaching. I found the tea cup holding session interesting. I've been told and have seen that the pinky is held up when drinking tea. I must admit my pinky automatically tends to stick out a little bit when holding my tea cup but not held up. I will practice tucking it in from now.
I would be interested in a video about how to react with etiquette to someone who behaves without etiquette.
😂
All of Jamila's viewers started off by basically learning how to be human and now we've leveled up to how to deal with _others_ that don't behave properly 😂
Yes me too
You aren't supposed to react to them as that would expose their failings, which they may not know.
Ignore any mistakes.
Sophistication at its finest
Yes, that's Jamila 😵❤️✨
Most of these are just plain common sense. Unfortunately, decent manners seem to be lost on so many people these days. Thank you for a wonderful, classy video! Hopefully everyone who views it will learn some valuable lessons. 💜
Jamila, you have done an excellent job! I am glad that some people in 2021 still remember and worry about etiquette. Now, when you think about it - all these etiquette things are actually logic - aren't they? If you're in a formal social setting, all these moves and rules are something decent people would probably come up with themselves more or less. Keeping the cloth clean, being respectful, giving the advantages to women, etc - they all make sense. After all, we want our guests or friends feel good around us - right? Carry on the good job!
My mother did a pretty good job of teaching her children basic etiquette. The only rule I was ignorant of was the proper way to drink tea. Thank you for the clear directions. I will endeavor to remember that in future. Thank you also for the video, I enjoyed it very much.
I am from India. This Video on social etiquette was superb.
The lady is super thin, soft-spoken, quick, speaks very few words, but conveys her meaning fast
Excellent. I would like to hear more of her common sense.😅
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This is the probably the first time ever for me to request some video from a CZcamsr and here it is awe you’re the sweetest💕
I’d just like to share my thoughts from someone who uses “no problem” more. I’ve heard it more often among young people. The reason I prefer it over “you’re welcome” is because to me, YW sounds like it’s redirecting it back to the person thanking like “you’re free to ask for help again” when I just wanted to focus on complimenting the other person for their help. NP is like reassurance to me that they weren’t burdened by doing a favor. That’s why I personally like it more and prefer hearing that back.
I definitely agree that YW is a more “proper” expression. Older people also tend to like it more. Just wanted to share my thoughts as someone on NP who doesn’t intend any malice from it lol
I definitely agree with you. I've heard people say, "You're welcome" so snobbishly like, "Oh, I know you couldn't handle it on your own." (This is just my experience.) And it grates on my nerves and makes me not want to reach out for help. I've always thought of, "no problem" as a shorten version of, "It was no problem helping you." But that could just be me.
I also agree with you.
I think "you're welcome" is almost condensing. As saying "I'm doing you a favor." No problem sounds to me like "it wasn't a big deal. Don't worry about it." But I always just say "my pleasure" just because I feel it's the most neutral out of the 3. Context might also depend tho.
@@jhonsmith5710
I hate to agree with you but I COMPLETELY agree. With “You’re Welcome” all I hear in my head is “I’m doing you a favor” which is something that I DO NOT like
I was actually going to make a comment about this very subject. I completely agree "You're Welcome" just doesn't work in our society today. As language changes so did the context of "You're Welcome" as it's now seen as condescending and snobbish.
I am so happy that I have found Jamila! This information is timeless and extremely helpful for everyone. Thank you for your meaningful work and the knowledge that you share :)
Thank you very much ☺️
Thank you for these videos!!!!! I can’t tell you how much I need them! I feel so much more confident in social settings 💜
I aspire to be as elegant and polite and well spoken as you 🥺 you’re doing great !
You have a great teaching style. Its efficient, informative and pleasant. Thank you for putting in so much effort into your videos ❤
Your skin. Your confidence. Your knowledge. Thank you 💗
This is the content CZcams needs 👍🏻
Such an extraordinary and unique channel. I’m in love with it 😍
I can't imagine what I watched recently so that your video showed up in my feed. But I am happy to say "thank you" to the CZcams algorithm gods. While I knew about most of these common mistakes, it's still nice to know that I am doing something right. Plus, you and your presentation are both so elegant that I just had to subscribe and see more. I think we all can use refresher courses on proper etiquette for various situations, especially nowadays when it seems that anything goes.
Hello Jamila,
What a happy occurrence in finding your video come through my feed on CZcams!
I was raised having etiquette as a most important part of my life. Recently though, I had a person tell me that I was: “old school” and that etiquette was ‘dead’!
It seems this kind of thinking is partially the reason the world we live in is in such a horrible situation.
So I thank you ever so much.
These etiquette are really needed altough it's common and sometimes people do not care about that, but for upgrade your attitude and get respected by others.
Thank you for these advice I would love to practice when i'm in situation.
that "no problem" response is so funny and takes me back to my childhood in the Midwest of the US. It's a very common inside joke among people who grew up in that area and for some reason particularly if you were raised in the Lutheran
Church to use the phrase "no problem". I'm still trying to break myself of that habit.
I clearly remember my physical education instructor who gave me a rap on the knuckles in 5th grade, while he was supervising our class during lunch break to make sure we were all following dining etiquette. My pinky finger was pointing outwards while eating and he corrected me that it was impolite to point your pinky while eating or drinking. The lesson stays with me till today.😀
I just wanted to say that I love your videos. Watching you and gaining the etiquette knowledge is a pleasure.
I LOVED this video! Such good basic information and guidance, plus the bonus is your gentle and elegant manner of speaking. i look forward to many more! thanks.
She Is beautiful, elegant and a perfect idol all of us who are obsessed with etiquettes so much... Thank you for another polite video.
@Godly Woman she should be an idol then our world would’ve been better. Jamila is an inspirational idol ❤️
I'm so lucky to watch your videos and improve myself. You are like a sister to me, thank you dear ❤
-Greetings from Turkey xo
Yes I love etiquette series 👍🏼 Never get tired of it 😍
I really appreciate this. In my opinion, it's easier for people to start with mistakes to avoid than to start habits they might not find themselves needing.
Loved the video. Yes a series is welcome. Thank you so much.
The b&d technique is so helpful, I always used to forget where to put my breads, I guess not anymore.
I have seen many videos where people suggest to extend the pinky out and I always find it frustrating. Thank you for correcting.
You are welcome 🤗
Just so soothing. I love your quiet confidence. 💜
Wow! I love your tone of communication and I love the teaching. Thank you so much.
Wow! Very interesting topic! You could totally make a part 2. 😊 PS. The white looks beautiful on you💖
I just subscribed today and this video look's like a gift.🥰 To be honest I really find uncomfortable when someone who doesn't know use "HEY" to address and I would be like where is your manner's in my mind. Will be doing all this thing's in my daily life even if it is with my class mate
Thank you
Thank you so much Jamila for the classic etiquette video!
Guilty of most of these, over many years from mostly not knowing any better - so, lots of room for improvement for me in 2024. All ten sound like easy to keep, common sense New Year resolutions. I started your book on etiquette and was very impressed by all of it. Particularly the content. The cover, embossing, illustrations and even the silky bookmark all have your signature effect - elegant and first glance, then life changing upon further inspection. Well done Jamila!
The “no problem” always sounded weird to me, English is not my first language and when I learned it I would always answer with You’re welcome or My pleasure but many teachers told me this wouldn’t sound natural at all, but for me No problem could give a wrong idea as you’ve said of burden, so I’m glad at least I was doing it the right way.
you are such an inspiration ❤️
✨ Ms. Jamila Musayeva ✨
I enjoyed your video so much. It reminded me of what my mother taught me when I was very young. It was also nice to hear someone speak English without slang, or "um" cluttering up their speech. You have such a lovely voice that I had to subscribe.
Thank you, Ms. Jamila, for posting this video. May you bring manners back so they are commonplace.
Great video once again! You never disappoint- keep up the phenomenal work!💞
Hello! I really loved this video and I love your channel. I am looking forward to seeing more content like this. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us!
I definitely need a series..!💕
Thanks Jamila, your content is always educational and helpful ❤
please Jamila, give us more videos like this one! I find them super helpful ☺
Such great etiquette tips! Thanks for sharing. I’ve noticed that I don’t like it when someone says ‘Hi’ to me (whether they know me or not). I think it’s because I work in PR so I’m used to going the extra mile in terms of politeness and also because of my Nigerian heritage. Nigerians generally expect you to say ‘Hello’, ‘Good Morning’, ‘Good afternoon’ or ‘Good evening’. 😊
You are welcome
Simply loved it!! Just subscribed! What the world misses actually is elegance!! People usually mix being casual with being impolite.. :( That makes the world terribly unpleasant...
This is a refresher and helpful for social graces esp the position of the drink, butter and bread and how to drink tea. Thank you!
As always, amazing informative video. Thank you, Jamila.
Tysm Jamila for giving tips on 10 most common etiquette mistakes I will not try and I am very happy that you explain me♥️♥️😍🙈✨😊🥰❤️🥰
I loved this video, and yes I would love a series of this video.. ❤️❤️❤️
One suggestion, can you make a video on how to stay productive and plan your day for students.. that'll be really helpful for a lot of us ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for listing these. I knew quite a few already, but I am guilty of the "sticking the pinky out" club when it came to tea. I'll be sure to correct myself and my children the next little tea party we have.
Loved it. Your way of speaking is so calming.
This was so helpful. Thank you so much❤
This was super helpful and well explained! Thank you, Jamila!
Welcome 🤗
You're absolutely the best thank you I'll pass this on to my children also so this culture is never forgotten
Thank you , Jamila. I liked this video and would love to see more on this topic!
I loved these tips. I have to agree in regards to our names. I try so hard for others and am so taken aback when people say my name incorrectly. Maybe we can get a reactions video? On how to respond with etiquette when someone does something like saying our name wrong.
Wow ! What a video! I love your elegance 💛
Loved your video Jamila, etiquette, can't get enough of this..thank you Jackie Laurin
Thank you Ms. Musayeva. I will follow you because I need these ettiquette refreshers very much.
Almost everything you said here was taught to me by my mum ❤
In regards to the "no problem" point, I've seen it argued that it's a generational shift, old school versus new school ways of thinking. The old way of responding "you're welcome", since it refers directly to the other person, can sound more agressive, and implies that you just did the other person a favour, that you took trouble onto you and now they're indebted to you. While the new response "no problem" outright states it wasn't a problem to you to do the thing for the other person, it didn't inconvenience you in any way, and you did it because you wanted to.
I'm a millennial, so a newer generation, and new school, and I do not like "you're welcome" because it sounds sarcastic to me, and I much prefer "no problem" for the reasons stated above.
"My pleasure" is a bit of a middle ground, old school formality but without the direct confrontation of "you're welcome", since you're referring to yourself like you do with "no problem", sparing the other person from the discomfort of being directly referenced.
True. Whenever I say no problem, I genuinely mean that it was literally not even a bother for me.
It's more of an issue of setting and culture. In America, no one will think worse of you for saying "no problem", unless you're in an extremely formal setting. That said, I think considering "you're welcome" aggressive is a bit extreme.
i’ve asked older people about that because “no problem” is what naturally comes out as a response, and none of them have seen an issue with it. i feel the same way you described, all i mean when i say it is to alleviate anyone’s concern that they might be bothering me or being a burden. maybe it just stems from my own anxiety asking anyone for help. 🥴
@@bannedcommander2932 am I the only one here response to (thank you) with ( don't mention it) . OK .
@@user-mo8oh7kp6h No, I hear that one quite a bit
I did very much enjoy this video. I knew the rules of etiquette addressed in it, but it was to see it confirmed. Thank you
I really watched this one all the way through and I learned a lot today I appreciate you sharing this and how you going to do these videos this is really a good idea you doing all 10 steps that right there is what's going to flip the switch and make whoever listens to it have better manners and again thank you very much
This was a very useful and easy to digest video. Please make a series. ❤️
Yes serious person I can afford Insalt
Thank you so much ma'am! Just a small kid learning etiquette from you everyday. :)
Your videos help me a lot. Love from India.
Your etiquette lessons are spot on, so to speak. However, your grammar could be better.
Thank goodness! We all need a refresher... or first encounter with proper manners! Keep going! Love it!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Really loved the content.
The name issue - I have a an uncommon last name (uncommon in America) that isn't pronounced as it looks. No one purposely mispronounces it, it often spelled in very creative ways. I can see how this can also being an issue with uncommon first or foreign names. Unless some is named 'Mary' and someone else goes out their way to mispronounce it, I can't see a mispronunciation as an etiquette blunder.
Like many things, I'd say that context matters here. If two folks are meeting for the first time, then messing up a name is understandable. However, I was recently attending a staff event, and one of the big bosses entered to give thanks to the front line staff, and he blundered a few of the names. Mind you, the "big boss" is at least four levels up on the org chart from those he thanked, but it's really a horrible look that he didn't take the time to learn the names of those he intended to publicly thank since they all do indeed work for him, albeit indirectly.
Excellent video, Jamila; thank you. You have to wonder where "you're welcome" came from, and what was said before that became common. Apparently many people infer too much formality is present when one says "you're welcome" , or even a mild or implied insult, depending on the tone of voice and other context. And what about the French "Je vous en prie" which means "you're welcome" in English, but literally means "I pray for you." That certainly could be perceived as an insult too !
Your videos are very well done and informative! Thank you for sharing them!
Jamila, excellent content as always! Thank you!
I am an ESL student and I thought that " No problem" means that the person who did a favor to you didn't have any problems to help you that time.
What went through my mind was the reply I was taught in Spanish 'de nada' or 'it's nothing' so..... mind you I never felt comfortable saying that though.
To me, it says I was possibly a problem. Just say “you’re welcome!”
It’s not wrong to say, it’s just not formal
yes!!! more etiquette videos pls
Hi Jamila! It would be a pleasure to keep on listening to you explain other mistakes in depth . 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌹
Simply brilliant explanation! I appreciate that the music as a background was played very softly.
Welcome
Loved it! Especially the point about a person's name. I have been told so many times how I "should" pronounce my name. Thank you for this video. Please continue.
You are welcome
People actually dictate how you should pronounce your own name?? Geez, that's terrible. 😧
Another good etiquette rule for men shaking hands with women: don't use the same power grip you use with other men. Women generally appreciate having their hands treated like baby birds. They will not think less of you for refraining to fracture their phalanxes.
Precisely.
.... are women’s hands so delicate that they can’t stand a normal handshake? I don’t think so.
@@bitethatbullet7054 Most women's hands are indeed more delicate than men's in terms of muscles and bone density and while you may have the good sense not to go overboard, I've encountered many a well-meaning gentleman who inadvertently communicated the opposite of friendliness with an overzealous grip. I'm just saying it's better to err on the side of gentleness.
At my wedding reception I shook the hand of an elderly lady. My thoughts were to give a firm handshake, which I was taught was a sign of respect and interest for the other person and it makes you look sincere. Well, I did and she cried out in pain. It turned out she had arthritis in her hands and my "firm" (but not too firm!) handshake was much too hard for her. Live and learn! Now, with older women I might let their hand drape over mine and just lift their hand---not going as far as to kiss their hand, but sort of like that gesture, along with a smile and greeting. And even with younger women I'm reluctant to shake their hand "too" hard" or long, as I would for a man, as they might see it as sexual harassment or a sexual assault. Best to leave them alone.
I would hate if a man treated my hand like that of a baby bird when shaking it. How off-putting. I appreciate a proper handshake. It should be logical to not do so to an elderly person, or someone that appears frail due to health reasons. A proper, firm hand speaks volumes.. coming from a man, or from a woman. Wimpy hand shakes freak me out.
Hello Jamila, Thank you for informing about common etiquette mistakes in our lives. That's very important to learn for us
I loved this video, please do a series of these! 💕
I'm so glad you brought up this topic! You and Anna Bey are the queens of self development 💜💜
Wow, I am also a fan of Jamila and Anna 😍
Me too
I love them both :)
They are not of the same class 😱
Please, don't compare her to Jamila. They are miles apart. Jamila has Class.
I surprised we don't all know these basic tips. Another favorite of mine is: make sure to hold the door open for anyone behind you. If someone has a heavy bag or bundle (or sleepy toddler) make sure to hold the door so they can precede you.
In the building where I work, the Chinese students ALWAYS let me off the elevator first or through a doorway first, and without making a big deal about it or even making eye contact. It's because I'm older than most of them, and it's deeply ingrained in their culture to do this. It's kind of nice.
Highly helpful and enjoyable video, specially as it is delivered in a soft, clear voice and using refined speech
Thank you Jamila! ✨ It was a very informative video.