No Limit Jokes - Yikes. Serious Yikes.
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 02. 2020
- Join our Discord to play & hang with us! / discord No Limit Jokes. Players invited to the game use their judgement to pick the funniest jokes from the comments of these videos. What could possibly go wrong? Absolutely everything. If you want to learn how to join our games, watch this: • How to join Swiftor ga...
- Hry
"So I had to record a warning for this video"
Yep I'm in for some good shit
Yuuki Konno and it turned out to be not as good as old ones lol
lol tru great comment
Lmfao
Yuuki Konno shut up
Yuuki Konno lol
Q: What did the cannibal do, after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Alejandro Figueroa honestly that’s pretty hilarious
@@myslacks1218 Thank you.
Alejandro Figueroa bro🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hope you get picked
@@dymondgames2884 Hopefully in the next "No Limit Jokes".
Joke:
Two guys are sitting on a rooftop bar when one of them takes a shot of tequila and jumps off the roof. Five minutes later he comes back unscathed. The other man asks "how did you do that". He says "I'll show you". He then takes another shot and jumps again. Moments before he hits the ground he slows to a stop. When he gets back to the roof the second guy says he is going to try. So he takes a shot and jumps but he doesn't stop and splats on the pavement. The bartender then says "You're a real asshole when you're drunk, superman"
dang thats a good one
OH MY GOD IM DEAD
That's fucked up
How fucked up is fucked up... Days fucked up
Wow
Joke: a child asked his dad what dark humor was so the dad said you see that guy with no hands tell him to clap. The son said but dad I am blind. The dad said exactly.
So unoriginal
@G. Lucas Lederman fr
@@ogracid9883 it's just a joke who gives a crap
DAMN!!
@G. Lucas Lederman fr
Joke: what does a bag of chips and a gun have in common. When you pull them out in class suddenly everyone wants to be your friend
YAS XD MG
Kohen Mazzilli damn thats so deep
Heard this but nice
Overused
I’ve heard of that before
I used to have black friends until my dad sold them
damn
Lol we ate my black friends
DEADLINE200424 *WE*
Damn that’s dark
Alexander Bowles ba dum tisss
Joke: An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
XD
Bruh
Finally understood after thinking for 9 mins
Her husbands teeth were stuck betwen her legs?
Haha ah this was funny
Joke: the sandy hook students wanted books but they got magazines instead
o_o
@@sharkygamer1409 O_o
oooh thats fucked mate
I hate myself for laughing at this.
Damn that’s clever and obscene
Joke: Why dont black people have dreams?
A: The last one that had a dream got shot
all i got to say to that is.... that was fucked up
Jay Wolfin you fuckijg pussy
That's funny AF 😂😂😂😂
Jesus
Thatboyalex Jordan It’s a joke my nigga why are you pressed it’s not even racist either
Joke: Why don't Chinese kids believe in santa?
A: They make the toys.
Ayy man you gotta watch what you say or they'll cough at you
@@izwanamri1471 aye just submitting a joke. Lol
Cambodia + Thai kids as well 😳
@@luminouskiwi1104 😳
@@luminouskiwi1104 I am Cambodian and so are you
Joke:
What’s the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don’t have a red Ferrari in my garage.
Fatty Hooligan aight ima buck witcha
That’s horrible
😳
That's old
Thank you 😂😂😂👌🤣
Joke: my crush said that I’d we were the last two people on earth she still wouldn’t have sex with me I told her “who’s gonna stop me”
DAAAAYYYUUMM
Whoah
Ooooooooooooofffffffffffffffff
Ladies and Gentlemen, We didn't get him
Her pet dog
Q: what's the worst part about breaking up with a japanese person?
A: you have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message....
Aidan Sheets 😂😂
I’ve heard that one before
Damn...
Shitttttt😂😂
This has been in a video before.
Man I haven’t Swiftor in such a long time, I remember him not having a beard and playing bo2 games on hijacked
😂 ikr
Tevin Sewer same
Bro same here, last I watched him was like 3-4 years ago
The momma jokes
Man I miss those days
Tevin Sewer facs
Warnings are actually WELCOME signals to all
Joke:
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
Omfg bro lol
I don’t get it
@@damianprice171 how do you not?
@@thispersondoesnotexist405 probably just born bruv
@@thispersondoesnotexist405 how do you spell a word sideways it’s backwards or forwards
You see, dark humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Like how this is dark humor explaining dark humor in a dark way.
@@thispersondoesnotexist405 the cycle of darkness
Saw this in a older video. UNORIGINAL
@@potatodeluna9678 bro.. i posted that a year ago
@@ttaajjyy1621 Or DID U *among us music intensifies*
Joke: What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist?
One actually does something when it’s triggered
Ground Beef I like this one
This one is actually good
I would rather say SJW cuz I support feminism but fuck buzzfeed and MTV and all that “white males should die” and “the wage gap is absolutely massive” shit.
Hbrink 17 lol ik wage gap is like non existent
You gotta steel a better joke to impress the middle schoolers
The paul walker joke had my jaw dropped 😂
The silence after that joke was gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don’t understand it 😭
@@FUNDUDZZ head and shoulders is a shampoo for dandruff and im pretty sure you know what happened to paul walker
@@fwm8121 nope but ill search it up now...
i kinda live under a rock
@@fwm8121 ok just searched it up and I still don't understand maybe I'm just that dumb.
Dark joke: What the most popular game in Africa: The hunger games
good one
Joke: How do you pick up a Jewish girl?
With a dust pan
Dan P lmao
Anne frank??... I'm just joking
Oh shiiii
And brush
Ya know how you get her number? Pull up her sleeve.
There was a kid that came home to ask his dad a question “ hey dad I was wondering if I was more black or Jewish, there’s this kid that is selling a bike for $50 and I don’t know if I want to talk him down to $40 or steal it”
10:13
I love how both their characters look at eachother after what crooked said
I got a fucking fast and furious ad right after the Paul walker joke 😂😂😂
Q: why did Hitler kill himself?
A: he got the gas bill
benjamin rose lmao
😳 NOOOOO
benjamin rose ha so original
aιdan.ĸnoттy this comment was funnier than the original
I know it’s no limit jokes but that might be too far
Just saying
Joke: Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach
@KL Sinqz There are some medications that require food to activate it or to pass it through your system properly. And Africa has serious starvation problems in it's more arid areas. There's a pretty famous picture of it too, you know the one with a skin-and-bones kid with a pack of vultures staring at him.
@KL Sinqz okay thank you* he took the time out of his day to explain it to you
FUCK it took me a second to get it
I laughed but that's deep
@@snooopybud4034 Good correction bro
"where were you storing that cinderblock bro?"
Right next to the grapes, probably
Holy crap. I remember watching these videos waaaaaay back in the day. Can't believe i found them again randomly. It's been like 5 years or more since i watched swiftor videos
Joke: What is a Gay Drive By Called. A fruit roll up
Omg 😂
Good one.
Took that from a bar from J.I.D
I’m dead rn 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@davidelfrosty275 What song? Or freestyle?
Joke :
So a mexican and a Black man are sitting in the car, who's driving?
The cops
Overused
Immigration
This one is so recycled Its greta thunberg approved
Yooo I’m Mexican tho😂 idrc
Alamo_Reaper nobody asked or gives a shit
A friend of mine just got married to a Haitian chick. They both went to a Halloween party, she was wearing plain clothes. When asked what she came as, she said historic farm equipment. I'm proud he found a woman with a genuine since of humor, best of luck to the both of them.
Joke:
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
Self Raising Flour
Dammm good one
Fun fact:
Every single person who died was on the left side!
-Finland guy- Ally you know who i am I noticed that too. He should switch up
Welll... actually the right side buddy
@@ProdArk-ck2oc left from swiftor and we are watching from he's perspective so.... U really smart:D
Well because the person in the right is ALRIGHT
@@clayciusaustin9188 😂
Joke: You guys know the Korean Zombie Movie ‘Train to Busan’. Now get ready for the sequel ‘Plane to Wuhan’.
LevioSuhDudeツ I probably laughed a bit too hard at that joke, I’m not gonna lie. And I liked how that rhymed too 😂😂👌🏽
Holy fuck thats funny
Bruh zombies will start popping up in the next month or two
LevioSuhDudeツ holy shit hahahahahaahah
That's pretty good
He keeps everyone equal while hearing NO limit jokes, what an amazing man
You know the jokes are gonna be really good and dark when swiftor recorded a warning
This guy popped up on my recommendations and I remember when I was like 13 watching him, oh boi he changed 😫
Same
Same
Fr watched him so long ago like bo1
How old are u old now
Jay Games 17
Joke:
My girl always used to give me good sloppy head. That all ended when her teeth started growing in.
Oh jesus 😂😂
Foul ASF 😭😭
hahahahhahahahah
i’m dead 😂💀
Woooooooahhh
Did you know? That atoms never touch each other and since we're made of atoms we've never touched anything in our entire lives so to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.
I used to have friends...... and then my dad forgot to lock the basement
Joke: what's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator...the refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out the meat.
Isaiah Moore and how you know that 😂🤢
What if it's a vegan.. lame joke
@@sneakybeaver1049 you're overthinking it
Bruhhh
When you notice that every person on the left died
Ca Ta People have short attention spans
@@ctown6592 that doesn't make sense
Sffix 6 people agree with me. Sounds like a you problem
@@ctown6592 If you think people liking a comment means they are agreeing with you then you got a short attention span mate.
Because everyone else was right. Duh
i fell so bad for laughing at the blind kid joke
At least he doesn’t a disclaimer in the beginning. No others do that. Haha lmao reverse psychology nicceeeeeee
"Just go ahead and switch to another video" stays and doesn't pause, swiftor shakes his head up and down, "your still here". I immediately liked the video after that
RC Cuber These were some weak ass jokes
Maybe but the beginning got me anyways with the warning
You gotta give him the likes if its gonna so controversial that he may get banned so I'm trying to help him out to stay up out of the waters to keep me laughing
same
You're*
Joke: What’s purple and sits in the corner of the room?
A: a baby who stopped playing with a plastic bag
Good
Hopefully it's the Ice Age baby
Oh gosh XD IT JUST GOT DARK XD
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Irishman walk into a hospital. The doctor walks out and says that there has been a mix up and they must identify their babies. The Englishman is sent in first and walks out with a red haired baby. The Irishman and his wife look at him and he says “One of them’s Welsh, I’m not taking any chances.”
Great
I don't get it
@@Jesus-jz6ll are you British/From the uk?
@@kaspercosgrove6888 no, I'm from Venezuela
@@Jesus-jz6ll The joke is that Welsh and Irish people are similar to each other.
Joke: why can orphans not play baseball they don't know were home is
Joke: what do you call a Jewish person who can fly?
A: Smoke.
Ashes
Might be a little to far
Ik it’s no limit jokes but just saying
ImmortalMortal77 ❄️
ImmortalMortal77 you commented the same shit on like 4 comments. Shut the fuck up
When you get a shoutout at 14:00
Joke wasnt that good though. 4/10
These vids are what I live for
Love these videos I just found it and I've been binge watching them
Turns out that only the last joke met the expectations for the warning 😂
Nathan Gonzalez I did not get the joke
@@masterchief6724 "If you are having sex with your girlfriend and she bleeds, tell her to get used to it. In a few years, she will start bleeding every month." Pedophilia. Dude is having sex with a little girl. That's pretty much what it means
Jesus crist
Nathan Gonzalez ohh I thought he was talking about doing a Chris brown
Joke:What’s Osama Bin Ladin’s favorite football team?
The New York Jets
💀
... DAMN
Manchester United
Yikes 😬
Q: What is it called when an orphanage takes a selfie
A: A Family Photo
Still one of the best CZcamsrs I’ve watch, I met swift in a cod ghost lobby I forgot what game mode but he kicked my ass
Joke: how do you get a Jewish girls number?
Answer: you look at her Wrist
This one I think I get but I don't can you tell me
CreepysBrokeMemes because during the Holocaust they got numbers on their wrist to see who was who
Overused
Somali Pirate wym overused was this in a previous vid
This is so messed up wow
Joke: what has 4 arms 3 legs and 1 hand
A: The Boston marathon finish line
CoreyRockerGamez ahahahahahahaa
You are one messed up human
Brooo stop I don’t wanna laugh at this joke 😭😭
That last joke was an actual gem
My now deceased grandfather once said I am too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support
Joke: there’s a black man a white man and a Mexican on a sinking boat they each choose to throw 1 item off the black man throws off a tomato he says “there are too many of these in my country” the Mexican throws off an avocado he says “there are too many of these in my country” and the white man throws off the Mexican and says “there are too many of these in my country”
Lorena Claure ts funny
This took a dark turn fast.........
@@darkvpr3211 But a welcomed one.
This joke is so dark the police shot it!!💀💀
@@ill_boxc_u1955 Lmao
Why did he have a warning? This was the most timid one yet.
Daniel Kirk I would imagine he got a strike of some sort and needs them now.
Daniel Kirk the ones back in cod ghosts days were pretty rough
The Real Chicken sooo true they’ve really toned down a lot since the
Daniel Kirk i think* this was the...
Racism maybe🤷🏼♂️
I remember watching this when modern warfare came out, I thought of it as some completely foreign game to me, now it is my life
0:50 proceeds to switch to another no limits jokes video
THIS IS A JOKE. “What’s a mans favorite word that starts with M and ends with arrige?... Miscarriage, this joke never gets old just like the kid”
Your gay
A joke has to be good for it to not get old
@@ryanmcflyin4374 like you can make a better joke
Wham Cam that’s part of the joke, can you not see the quotation marks?
Wow stolen joke, hearted it before
Here's one of my favourites: Did you hear that McDonald's is releasing a burger to honour Michael Jackson? It's 50 year old meat inside of some 12 year old buns.
very confused hurt it too much
👀
@@Safistic oh damn really? I'd never heard anyone say it before lol
Hi confused
@@lesko3614 Hello? Lol
Lol he was giving us a warning and a ad popped up right after lmao
He just stares into space when someone says somthing bad lol
Joke: Girls are like multiplication tables, if they’re under 10 you just do them in your head
💀💀💀
CoreyRockerGamez 😂
They're*
nice
I'm fukin dead
joke: who are the fastest readers in the world? swifts response: what? joke: 9/11 victims because they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
if some one says i didnt see that coming. say: nither did they
@B00fpack ' ay its a no limit lmfao
Lol they dead
They already used that in an old no limit jokes
MyFinalHour Zzz so overused.
I've seen this a billion times since like 1st grade
Joke: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb... None, feminists can’t change anything💀
I keep laughing at all these jokes, but this one only made me smile, but my sister laughed and i was like "wow, i didnt laugh at this one, but this one made you laugh?"
@Carter Strohm that's just cosmetic, DNA can't be changed yet although you could just head over to Bikini Atoll without radiation protection for about 10 minutes of course you'll get cancer later.
That got me
Im new here and im about to sub becuase this vid. I liked it!
Joke list:
Why is it better to bully an orphan? 2:08
White man, Mexican, black man 2:44
Paul walker dandruff 5:10
What do u call black ppl swimming? 5:43
Bartender joke 7:31
9/11 joke 8:05
What does my girlfriend and a common cold have in common? 9:32
How many dead bodies does it take to change a lightbulb? 9:57
How parents punish blind children 11:49
Logan Paul Japanese man 12:08
How do you get 1 million followers? 13:38
What does the KKK and Nike have in common? 14:06
Prostitute vs bungee jumping 15:46
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? 16:24
Fun fact 18:45
Facebook joke 19:38
Pedophile joke 20:12
You deserve a reward, good sir
Bailey Bailey 😂😂😂😂😂 coco puffs
I still don't get the pedo joke
Plz explain
WTG Latias ! Same bus
My joke: Today I got an award because I found the children that were missing in my town. I didn't mean to, I just accidentally left the cellar unlocked
Last person to tell joke won every time
true
The 911 pilots had to be insanely trained to hit those buildings with that speed 🤣
Joke: What’s the difference between no and red?
A: I stop at red
Lol
Yo
@Shadow yes it is XD
Joke: What's long and black?
A: The line at KFC
Joke: What’s long and white?
A: The line at Starbucks
@@sethmountainbikes8795 lelelelel
It what’s big black and long
Its
Heard that a million times never laughed
Swiftor is actually the most dad I've ever seen
i swear these needed subs.
Joke: Q: what's the difference between a Porsche and dead baby's A: I dont have a Porsche in my garage
Here’s a joke:
Why can’t anti vax kids play blackjack?
They never make it to 21
Edit: thx for the likes
Yikes
Neither did juice WRLD
NFG_Bonsai fuck off
@@drippy623 he's right
SomeHotNuttela it doesn’t fit here
The Paul walker one had me dieing
That last joke was the best
My grandfather is a huge inspiration for me. He was a great leader and a great man. And in WWII he killed Hitler, but that is a story for another day.
Fun fact: Hitler’s entire bloodline has been eradicated, he has no grandsons
Somali Pirate I know it was just a joke I was saying
He had a sister @Annoying Xbox Live Kid
@@straitshrimp9132 key word had
Hitler killed himself
Joke: My girlfriend got mad cause I slept with her sister, but what was I supposed to do? Just finish the autopsy?
*Noice*
U know it’s gunna be funny when he puts a warning in the beginning saying “pls go to different vid” lmfao
After the Bleeding joke someone said "it was too early" hahaha
Joke: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
A: depends on how hard you throw them
OML NOOOOOO 😂😂😂
This is the most intense 1 I've seen
You just searched up dark jokes on google
Copied from an older video
@@lettucemuncher1728 didn't everybody? The contestants are literally going through the comments
Joke: i am 37..my girlfriend and I have been dating and I wanted to do something special... I took her out to a date and everyone called me a perv for dating a 19 year old... this COMPLETELY ruined our 10 year anniversary (I posted more jokes but i couldn't post this one
So unfortunate
Hahah very funny you clearly havent stolen that one from a website that I clearly dont know :Hmmm:.
@@GUINZOUO77 hahaha
Actually... This is a joke my friend posted on his Instagram and I saw it
I have another.. at this point in time.. Disney and pxrnhxb are the same thing... They both look for 30 year olds that look 14
What does the chain saw say to the black man? Run niggga niggga niggga
This was funny as hell lol
Joke: I asked my friend from Saudi Arabia what the best way to commit suicide was.
He got excited and asked did I want to learn how to pilot a plane.
IRA_Armageddon this joke sucks
IRA_Armageddon you butchered it.
Try again
Yeah, this isn’t funny
Is this any better
Joke:why does the black kid always pick on the albino kid
Because he thought his hair was cotton.
Joke: A American and a Russian enter a bar the Russian asks for vodka and he says to the American “ he have a lot of these back home” . A Hispanic enters the bar and the American says “ we have a lot of these back home”.
Lololllllloo XD XDXDXDxDdXXdDdXlolololoollollooloollolloolooXDXddXXdXdDDdXX
That second joke alone has me dying. Rofl
That Paul walker glove compartment joke had me 💀💀
Joke: What do you call old black people in a shed.
Old farm tools.
wheres the joke
Globaled other known as a joke, but racist, there’s racist jokes you moron
@@globaled1694 there's racist jokes you know that right?
@@blaminations9805 do me a favor and explain the "joke" if not stfu
@@globaled1694 the title says no limit jokes, "no limit" shit my dads black and he found this funny and fucked up at the same time. If you can't take dark humor then just leave the video and comment section cause this place is not for you.
Joke: what do you call four black people in a red car?
Answer: a Kit Kat
:(
joke : What long and black... The KFC line
Lmao
20/20
The kfc line ain’t long @ all church’s chicken is longer😂
People standing on the left died every single time lmao