This is an impeccable scene! Donald Sutherland was incredible in this movie as the beleaguered Father trying to keep his Family together, while caught between the conflict and tension his Wife and Son have for each other. No one close to him seemed to realize that he needed consoling too. I know people like Beth, who believe portraying a perfect image to the outside world is more important than dealing with emotional issues, because in.their eyes it makes them look weak to others. Circling back to Donald Sutherland, his performance in "Ordinary People" is one of the greatest I have ever seen. Fred
Love the way this discussion finally comes up with her only AFTER he starts seeing the doctor and begins to see things as they really are. I also love how she consoles him and says, "it's alright", thereby dismissing herself from all of her shortcomings, rather than owning up to them. SHE was the one who really needed to be seeing the psychiatrist! That's the kicker in this movie.
I have been searching for this scene for more than a year now. I searched 'Ordinary People Blue Shirt' which brought up every other good scene except this one. Thanks for posting.
She's a narcissist, possibly full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I know several people like this. Everything must look 'perfect' on the outside, but open a closet, and it's overflowing with junk. Always hide the mess. Pretty on the outside, cold, heartless, empty, on the inside.
She reminds me of those mean girls who grew up to be a Mean Lady. Still living the days of high school and college. They type of chicks still exist today.
When under serious stress people often busy themselves with trivial matters. Organizing a drawer or cleaning. Anything to help us get from one moment to the next. I think that is why Beth fixates on seeming trivial things. It helps her to keep from facing something she knows she is not strong enough to handle.
Good point but why didn't Beth fixate on something to do with her own person instead of trying to orchestrate her husband's APPEARANCE during their son's funeral! Most other mourners would have been there to try to console the shattered parents NOT dissed the father for wearing a blue shirt or different shoes.
They never try and soften the mother or make her likeable she is what she is. This was the best scene in the film I thought, especially in terms of its timing.
My ex-mother in law was a lot like Beth. She didn't like mess or complications!!! Everything in its place. So you can imagine how she blamed me for the divorce in the family. Took zero responsibility that maybe her son had problems (which he did!!)
I think people are very fragile in some ways. Mother's have ENORMOUS responsibilities (I'm a man) and to lose a beloved project you've been slaving over for 20 years (raising a happy child) so suddenly, would be like a man losing a multi-million dollar business he'd built up for years overnite. Loss can ruin a person. I love Beth--she reminds me of my troubled, wonderful Mom, but she needs a lot of therapy to get over her upbringing and Bucky dying. I think this role will bring MTM alot of recognition as the years pass after her death. What a wonderful gal.
No matter how many times I’ve watched this movie, I try to find something empathetic about Beth. And it just never happens. It’s exactly what Calvin finally tells her, “all your love died with him…”. Three saddest movies ever: Love Story, Brian’s Song and Ordinary People.😪😪
Beth was showing just how cold and selfish she really was, literally turning and walking away from him and not even allowing him to talk about something he needed to talk about. She kinda surprised me though when she walked up to him and hugged him .... but then she says “it’s alright.” Which is kinda dismissive here. As if he’s the one with the problem. She just can’t deal with real emotions. Needs everything neat and tidy and wrapped up and tucked away.
Yes, absolutely. AND she only consoles him once he’s stopped talking about the thing she wants to avoid. She’s diverting the conversation away from that and putting the focus back on him.
this part hits me w tears..i lost my middle son n i cant even recall who was there...my exwife clocked everyone..i guess you fall 1 way or another...i 1st seen this picture when i was late teens and i knew it was a great movie..but for me it hits home ..i was crazy that day😪...
I always felt that Mary Tyler Moore was actually like this in real life; closed off cold and put on a phony demeanor; esp after seeing her in public; which is why she was perfect in this part!
I've seen this movie many times, and I'm still unsure about MTM's character. Is she just a cold empty person, or is she a woman who has already suffered so much pain that she just can't take anymore?
Margaret ITA. Buck was her true love; Calvin and Conrad were secondary. That was always the case but she was skilled at hiding her true feelings beneath her perfect, steely reserve.
This isn’t a fair criticism of Beth. Emily Post says that for many people the mourning period is the time when etiquette is most important. It’s a comfort to them and keeps them from falling into a black hole of despair. I know a lot of people who care about what they wore and what others wore to the funeral of their loved one for a number of reasons. A) It’s a mark of respect. A blue shirt is not as respectful. B) It helps them feel grounded. When you know what to wear that adds stability to an extremely unstable time. C) As your feelings of sorrow start to fade, there can be guilt that you’re forgetting the person who died and it’s a comfort to be able to have those specific mourning clothes as a remembrance of those feelings of sadness that were a sign of your love.
RIP One of my favorite actors, he will be missed.
Why did he not receive an Oscar for this role??
Absolutely one of my favorite movies. Real people. Real emotions. Real struggles.
RIP Donald Sutherland. 🙏🏻
This is an impeccable scene!
Donald Sutherland was incredible in this movie as the beleaguered Father trying to keep his Family together, while caught between the conflict and tension his Wife and Son have for each other.
No one close to him seemed to realize that he needed consoling too.
I know people like Beth, who believe portraying a perfect image to the outside world is more important than dealing with emotional issues, because in.their eyes it makes them look weak to others.
Circling back to Donald Sutherland, his performance in "Ordinary People" is one of the greatest I have ever seen.
Fred
Love the way this discussion finally comes up with her only AFTER he starts seeing the doctor and begins to see things as they really are. I also love how she consoles him and says, "it's alright", thereby dismissing herself from all of her shortcomings, rather than owning up to them. SHE was the one who really needed to be seeing the psychiatrist! That's the kicker in this movie.
Yes, she's like a stubborn child in an adult body, refusing to grow. She's basically a deadbeat parent.
Lots of parents are like that. Kind of immature.
I have been searching for this scene for more than a year now. I searched 'Ordinary People Blue Shirt' which brought up every other good scene except this one. Thanks for posting.
She's a narcissist, possibly full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I know several people like this. Everything must look 'perfect' on the outside, but open a closet, and it's overflowing with junk. Always hide the mess. Pretty on the outside, cold, heartless, empty, on the inside.
She reminds me of those mean girls who grew up to be a Mean Lady. Still living the days of high school and college. They type of chicks still exist today.
When under serious stress people often busy themselves with trivial matters. Organizing a drawer or cleaning. Anything to help us get from one moment to the next. I think that is why Beth fixates on seeming trivial things. It helps her to keep from facing something she knows she is not strong enough to handle.
I clean things I have not been able to tend to when hit with a devastatingly piece of horrible news.
Good point but why didn't Beth fixate on something to do with her own person instead of trying to orchestrate her husband's APPEARANCE during their son's funeral!
Most other mourners would have been there to try to console the shattered parents NOT dissed the father for wearing a blue shirt or different shoes.
They never try and soften the mother or make her likeable she is what she is. This was the best scene in the film I thought, especially in terms of its timing.
I was there.
Scene sums up Beth's stifling, soul-destroying conventionality.
Ice Queen
No, she was repressed.
@@keythdanielsen8316 That too.
My ex-mother in law was a lot like Beth. She didn't like mess or complications!!!
Everything in its place. So you can imagine how she blamed me for the divorce in the family. Took zero responsibility that maybe her son had problems (which he did!!)
I think people are very fragile in some ways. Mother's have ENORMOUS responsibilities (I'm a man) and to lose a beloved project you've been slaving over for 20 years (raising a happy child) so suddenly, would be like a man losing a multi-million dollar business he'd built up for years overnite. Loss can ruin a person. I love Beth--she reminds me of my troubled, wonderful Mom, but she needs a lot of therapy to get over her upbringing and Bucky dying. I think this role will bring MTM alot of recognition as the years pass after her death. What a wonderful gal.
No matter how many times I’ve watched this movie, I try to find something empathetic about Beth. And it just never happens. It’s exactly what Calvin finally tells her, “all your love died with him…”.
Three saddest movies ever: Love Story, Brian’s Song and Ordinary People.😪😪
Amazing he wasn’t nominated for best actor
Beth was showing just how cold and selfish she really was, literally turning and walking away from him and not even allowing him to talk about something he needed to talk about. She kinda surprised me though when she walked up to him and hugged him .... but then she says “it’s alright.” Which is kinda dismissive here. As if he’s the one with the problem. She just can’t deal with real emotions. Needs everything neat and tidy and wrapped up and tucked away.
Yes, absolutely. AND she only consoles him once he’s stopped talking about the thing she wants to avoid. She’s diverting the conversation away from that and putting the focus back on him.
She's afraid to face her fear .. sometimes u just have to jump? She's not a strong person?
this part hits me w tears..i lost my middle son n i cant even recall who was there...my exwife clocked everyone..i guess you fall 1 way or another...i 1st seen this picture when i was late teens and i knew it was a great movie..but for me it hits home ..i was crazy that day😪...
I always felt that Mary Tyler Moore was actually like this in real life; closed off cold and put on a phony demeanor; esp after seeing her in public; which is why she was perfect in this part!
constant criticism never stops complaining and will never listen
I can’t believe my parents took me to see this move when I was in the 4th grade. I remember thinking WTF IS GOING ON WITH THIS MOVIE..
Beth so sad
Coldest woman I’ve ever seen in a women. Great acting. Terrible woman
I've seen this movie many times, and I'm still unsure about MTM's character. Is she just a cold empty person, or is she a woman who has already suffered so much pain that she just can't take anymore?
I ask myself the same question each time I watch this movie.
I have some sympathy for her. Buck's death literally destroyed her. She is able to reconstruct herself on the surface, but that's all there is.
I believe MTM's character never got to grieve properly. Her happiness and love died with Buck.
No, the problems were innately there before Bucky's death. Masterpiece of a movie.
Margaret ITA. Buck was her true love; Calvin and Conrad were secondary. That was always the case but she was skilled at hiding her true feelings beneath her perfect, steely reserve.
Was this the only movie that mary tyler moore do .beside her tv sitcom show
She did some in the sixties maybe one in the seventies. None of them were as good as this.
"Thoroughly Modern Millie," Julie Andrews,Bea Lillie,John Gavin,James Fox.
This isn’t a fair criticism of Beth. Emily Post says that for many people the mourning period is the time when etiquette is most important. It’s a comfort to them and keeps them from falling into a black hole of despair. I know a lot of people who care about what they wore and what others wore to the funeral of their loved one for a number of reasons. A) It’s a mark of respect. A blue shirt is not as respectful. B) It helps them feel grounded. When you know what to wear that adds stability to an extremely unstable time. C) As your feelings of sorrow start to fade, there can be guilt that you’re forgetting the person who died and it’s a comfort to be able to have those specific mourning clothes as a remembrance of those feelings of sadness that were a sign of your love.
After seeing Mary t Moore on an interview where she said she saw Beth as a victim ! I just can't watch this movie anymore.